resident wizard fucker

the other companions have pretty clear-set forks in their path, like astarions fork in his companion quests is a persuasian check abt what to do w cazador & afterwards he is Set, locked in pretty obviously to whichever path he was encouraged to go down. even if u fail the persuasion check, u still see Very Clearly what hes picking. karlach gets the upgrades for her quest, which makes it p obvious which fork in her path shes gonna go down (live or die). even laezels, albeit more drawn out than the others, still gets to a persuasion check where u go Ah I See Whats Gonna Happen With Her. there is a definable Moment for everybody (except gale) where u know what ending yr getting w them.

they dont know why theyve found themself at this same chest 12 times, bobby pin in hand. theyve had this conversation before with laezel, but they know they said, did something else but they cant quite remember what. they almost wish it was a groundhog day same-day-over-and-over situation bcuz thats SIMPLE. u find a specified point in the day to change until you wake up & its tomorrow. instead, they experience mundane moments at seemingly random intervals over & over again until something unknown clicks into place, some random line of dialogue or reaction or outcome appeases some cruel god out there controlling their fate like a puppet. sometimes they think they can get through a conversation to completion without feeling crazy. theyre almost always wrong, brought back to a point earlier in the conversation where they feel compelled to say or do something different.

is this an effect of the tadpole? of some god in the pantheon? of their mortal mind crumpling under the pressure of either? theyre unsure who to try to appeal to with their choices & they feel it in their core because no matter how hard they try, they do something innately *wrong* & theyre forced to find out when they blink & its 30 minutes beforehand.

theyve felt their last breath rattle out of their chest, bloodloss making them weak & frail & cold down to their bone marrow....and then theyre at the start of the same battle again. sometimes they fight the same battle against the same overpowered, out-of-their-league enemies multiple times, forced to fight for their life like a dog fighting ring for some unempathetic, omnipotent spectator's entertainment.