Tom Hiddleston & Benedict Cumberbatch are nerds.

I reached 4.5k followers recently! I did a giveaway for my 4k mark but I feel like I should have done a bigger one, so here ya go. Inspired by @visor76​‘s generous LootBox giveaway they did a while back, so go give them a follow too, they are really cool!

♕ 1st Place: Overwatch Origins Edition Code (ANY CONSOLE) OR a $50 Battle.Net Giftcard ♔ 2nd Place: $20 Battle.Net Giftcard Code ⚜ 3rd Place: $10 Battle.Net Giftcard Code

☆ Winner will be drawn on November 3rd at 10 pm CST. ____ ☆ If you confront or bother the winner I will kick your ass. ____ ☆ Keep your Ask Box/Messaging OPEN so I can message you if you win. If I can’t contact you I will pick someone else. ____ ☆ No giveaway blogs. ____ ☆ You don’t have to be following this go around, though it’s greatly appreciated. You can read my ABOUT ME before following, and if I’m not your cup of tea, don’t worry about it!

2. maybe if they blocked you that means you should back off and not try to publicly start shit huh

3. how about you call me out directly next and pick on someone your own fucking size before you try and harass people who want to be left alone ?

2. maybe if they blocked you that means you should back off and not try to publicly start shit huh

3. how about you call me out directly next and pick on someone your own fucking size before you try and harass people who want to be left alone ?

From this thread (reblogged after block by OP that erases visibility)

[…]

But when non-survivor writes about bucky being raped or tortured for their own sick pleasure then it becomes a problem. Fiction does actually affect reality and that includes your mind. You can’t think “it’s okay because I only find FICTIONAL rape hot” because that’s not how your mind works. Your mind simply does not work that way, no matter how much you claim to know that rape is bad.

Fandom is NOT some perfect place that is above criticism. If someone is fetishising rape that isn’t okay.

@nopebucky I really hope there’s some point in which you realize your whole belief system is based in irrational circular thinking.

“fetishizing” relies on the assumption that sexuality IS a moral statement, and then you have come to a conclusion that people try to shield what excites them with a veil of “fiction” to disclaim that they actually are doing something terrible instead (i.e. “fetishizing”). That is, not actually “containing” a moral failure in their subjectivity as “unreal” because (you assume again) it’s impossible to not sexualize something without it having a “real repercussion”. So when they express or share this sexuality via writing for a particular space made for that (read ao3′s or tumblr terms fgs), it’s indeed harmful… because it implies the idea this “repercussion”, the fact it exists, is not… harmful. And that harms victims, because again you extrapolate it triggers you; of course the victims that disagree with you wouldn’t deserve a voice, not if they don’t agree with what you have to say… I guess you are above criticism? Nah.

Who’s harmed? You’re harmed because you’re triggered by it existing because you think it existing is triggering because it’s harmful… so you get where I’m going? You can formally argue that Kinder Eggs are bad like that, and you may get a pat in tha back and that doesn’t make it any more valid. But I mean, you must realize it’s selective to sex. Do you also have the nerve to walk up in a theatrical play and, up in stage, scream how everybody ever enjoying depicting the death of a human, seeing viscera, even if it’s fictional, is fucking sick?

Sexuality is not volitive, and it’s not a moral statement. That’s what, well, conscience is for. And that’s great if you want to have circular beliefs, but look, reality:

Average age for reality/fantasy dissociation: 5 years old. If one can’t separate internal subjectivity from what belongs to reality, that’s actualy a symptom of psychosis (seen, say, in schizophrenia).

Things the mind does: echo, process, analyze, replay, subvert, hypothetize; things the mind IS NOT: an inescapable antechamber to behavior. Subjectivity is not essentially different when it’s sexual. Really, finding something hot doesn’t correlate to a lack of touch with reality. You see sexual criminals not when they’ve got an unspeakable paraphilia that corrupts their soul, but when other things in their mind fail (empathy, impulse control, etc). If someone commits sexual violence, the problem is the violence, not the fact that it’s sexual. That’s why a rape is wrong, a murder is wrong, but consensual sex is not. Easy right?

Ideas in culture that sexual thoughts are an irredeemable perversion that leads to evil (”vices”) because of “moral failure”: Christian sex-negative baggage. Sex-negative because it’s irrationally differential, as I said with gore. Morbid fascination at gore is compatible with a functional adult, even good for jobs like film director (idk Gillermo del Toro, Tim Burton), but if instead of watching a slasher film to have a strong experience it’s a sexual roleplay to have an orgasm… IT’S SICK.

Format in which these ideas are transmitted, ideologically: religion, obscurantism, sectarianism and other emotionally-exploitative and irrational formats that abandon critical thinking. They are geared at filling a need for identity and community based in othering and sanctimony. So, things these ideas won’t lead to: adequate, sensible policy. Don’t blame anybody for not taking the policing of a group of bullies to heart.

Real prevalence of rape fantasies in the normal population: high as fuck. According to some sexologists it’s about 25% of the average population; according to this study it’s 50% (of women). Here’s a scientific article on the subject because I don’t believe things when they make me feel an authority, but when I think they are true. Unsurprisingly, people who aren’t self-deprecating have less risk for mental illness.

Human sexuality: by large not understood in all its factors. Sexual trauma shapes sexuality; so do other thousands of things. The idea a kind of fantasy is an exclusive phenomenon of “mental trauma” is not merely unscientic and irrational, it’s self-deluding. I honestly don’t know why humans are quirky and weird, but I don’t know why we yawn either. You don’t know shit, but the difference is you can’t tell your ignorance the moment you fill those holes with what you want to believe. I want to honestly know. Maybe some people have higher thresholds for some brain receptor involving adrenaline and that makes them more likely to have violent fantasies. Admit your ignorance. It’s so fucking dishonest you pretend to tell people how their mind works.

Effects of sexual repression: here’s one we know! Psychologically damaging and socially destructive. Increases rates of suicide, depression and criminality. Countries that still treat sexuality as perversion in their social policies (like Islamic theocracies): higher rates of brutal crime, including rape (sorry lol what were you saying about rape culture again to reach and justify your sexnegativity). Somehow I’m not surprised you’re not an expert in penology and criminology either. Neither am I, btw. But again, I don’t pretend to rationalize.

Attitudinal and experiential correlates of sexual fantasies involving force or coercion against the fantasizer were studied in 137 college women. Results revealed that (i) virtually every woman reported engaging in sexual fantasy on a regular basis, (ii) more than half the subjects reported having engaged in a force fantasy, (iii) those reporting force fantasies scored as less sexually guilty and more erotophilic than those not reporting such fantasies. Those reporting force fantasies also had more sexual experience and engaged in more fantasizing of the nonforce type than the other subjects. A history of exposure to sexual force or coercion was unrelated to the report of force fantasies. Taken together, these findings are offered in support of the hypothesis that the occurrence of force fantasies, rather than resulting from an attempt to deal with sexual guilt, represents one of a number of ways in which some women demonstrate a relatively open, unrestricted, and varied approach to their sexuality.

You take advantage of a subject as non-trivial as rape culture, you call people sick who are innocent, you perpetuate a culture in which people with trauma are forcibly outed, antagonized, shamed and repressed. You promote they keep to themselves because you feel entitled to something real not existing when it bothers you. You victimize yourself out of habit in the instances you’re an aggressor, you indulge in a narcissism that tries to make others responsible for your mental health when you can’t even close a tab not to have the last word. And you’re so fucking entitled and arrogant you don’t take responsibility or have the awareness you may not have the perfect understanding of how other people work, think, feel and affect others. Even when you pull your claims out of your ass and shield your lack of justification with histrionics and a fictive claim disagreement to your discourse sides with evil.

Stop talking about rape culture and about dark fic, stop pretending you’re doing anything for survivors, becase you are not, and you’re not competent enough to correct what you’re doing wrong. You can’t even spot the garbage in the people who share similar ideas to you. To you rape culture is something to project what you don’t like on, and survivor an identity to plaster as a disclaimer your beliefs shouldn’t be scrutinized. It’s never been about people, so don’t be surprised when you’re not humored. Rape culture needs to be deconstructed through a normalization of sane sexuality in all it forms, so it can be told apart by functional adults from what is actually harmful. You’re mystifying fantasy, and any suggestion sexually liberated culture “perpetuates it” is not just ungrounded, it’s countered by evidence in any field - sociology, psychology, sexology. Your discourse is merely a stale echo of a culture that demonizes the sexual, that you parrot because it fits what you want to believe. And you’re free to be ignorant and dogmatic, but you’re not to impact culture in toxic ways and promote models, repression and idiotic guilt based on phantasms. People like this have always existed, puritans, anti-kink; the people that think BDSM is a disease… and it’s anachronistic, so it loses ground. If your community is hoping things like HTP “collapse”, that’s just another way you’re being collectively self-deluded.

The Anti Mentality and how equating emotions with reality makes fandoms turn toxic

One thing I have noticed when interacting with antis of all kind.

1. They are highly abusive in their behaviour, going as far as telling people to kill themselves

2. They believe their abuse is justified, because they perceive other people’s shipping preferences or fanworks as an attack against themselves

3. As a rule, they never address arguments made questioning whether their perception and their accussations are actually rooted in reality.

It is all about “Seeing this upsets me, so it must be wrong and the people doing it must be bad and evil….otherwise I wouldn’t be upset.“

Thing is….an while back, there was an excellent article on abusive parents and how they bond together in “estranged parents forums”, and the patterns are surprisingly familiar.

Here too, we have abusers, who believe that they are the injured party, NOT based on what has happened or what the facts of the situation are…but on how they feel about the situation.

Here too, we have people pulling a DARVO, denying the attack, and then reversing victim and offender.

Here too, we have people who believe that it is other people’s responsibility to cater to their feelings….and that if other people refuse, this must be because the others are the evil ones….NOT because they themselves are in the wrong.

But take a look at this excerpt from issandei’s article yourselves:

“Posts in estranged parents’ forums are vague.

Members recount stories with the fewest possible details, the least possible context. They don’t recreate entire scenes, repeat entire conversations, give entire text exchanges; they paraphrase hours of conversation away. The only element they describe in detail is their own grief or rage. Nor do the other members press them for more information.

Compare this with the forums for adult children of abusers, where the members not only cut-and-paste email exchanges into their posts, they take photos of handwritten letters and screenshot text conversations. They recreate scenes in detail, and if the details don’t add up, the other members question them about it. They get annoyed when a member’s paraphrase changes the meaning of a sentence, or when omitted details change the meaning of a meeting. They care about precision, context, and history.

The difference isn’t a matter of style, it’s a split between two ways of perceiving the world.

In one worldview, emotion is king.

Details exist to support emotion. […] Context is malleable because the full picture may not support the member’s emotion. […]

Emotion creates reality.

In the second worldview, reality creates emotion.

Members want the full picture so they can decide whether the poster’s emotions are justified.

Members recognize that unjustified emotions (like supersensitivity due to trauma, or irritation with another person that colors the view of everything the person does) are real and deserve respect, but they also believe that unjustified emotions shouldn’t be acted on.

They show posters different ways to view the situation and give advice on how to handle the emotions.

In short, they believe that external events create emotional responses, that only some responses are justified, that people’s initial perceptions of events are often flawed, and that understanding external events can help people understand and manage emotions.

The first viewpoint, “emotion creates reality,” is truth for a great many people.

Not a healthy truth, not a truth that promotes good relationships, but a deep, lived truth nonetheless.

It’s seductive.

It means that whatever you’re feeling is just and right, that you’re never in the wrong unless you feel you’re in the wrong.

I am still not quite sure what an unjustified emotion would be since there is no source outside this paradigm. Anyone deciding which emotions are justified is simply declaring a personal preference. I suppose there are people out in the world who have no experience of  trauma - or who have shut their emotions down so that they always maintain perfect rational judgement. But I don’t think that would be a sign of a healthy psyche.

The problem arises when people use their feelings as an excuse to abuse, harass and bully others, taking offense at things that aren’t there and accusing others of things they haven’t done.

Criticism is based on facts and on fact and on sound argument.

But this is NOT what’s happening in fandom.

What we get in fandom is verbal abuse, people getting told to kill themselves and people having their inboxes spammed with anon hate.

To illustrate this further:

Veterans, due to the trauma they’ve suffered, might be highly uncomfortable around 4th of July fireworks.

People who have gotten bitten by a dog might be wary and afraid of all dogs, even the most well-behaved and friendly lab.

Parents who grieve the loss of a child might find it hard to watch a movie where a child dies.

And yet, we do not ban fireworks, or dogs, or movies where children die.

And we would NOT find it acceptable if people who liked fireworks, dogs or sad movies got harassed or abused.

Somehow though, in fandom these days, doing exactly that seems to have become acceptable.

You create fanworks around a fictional villain?

You write about bad things happening to characters? Why the mere depiction must mean that you endorse all of that in real life!

Strangely enough, that kind of thinking only happens within fandom.

All those horror flics and crime novels centered on serial killers?

Why, that’s just fiction and going after crime novel authors or horror film movie makers would be rather stupid.

So yeah, some people in fandom, if they see something that makes them uncomfortabel? Can and will abuse and harass fans and fanwork creators for daring to like something that squicks them.

And if called out for their abusive behaviour? Well….they’re hurt aren’t they? Their buttons were pushed.

So any criticism of them and their abusive behaviour can’t possibly be right, can it? And so, they keep on attacking, abusing and bullying people, because to them, facts don’t matter.

What matters is that they feel hurt, and they take it as sufficient reason to also feel entitled to abuse and harass others.

And that?

You MIGHT be truly helping people. And if you are, that is really good.

You also might be letting yourself be co-opted by an abuser to do their dirty work for them.

Remember that bit I wrote about DARVO?

Denying the attack, and then reversing victim and offender?

Here on tumblr, what we often get is the following kind of interaction:

A: I am victim of X. Knowing that fanworks that I associate with X exist is really painful to me. If you are creating such fanworks, then you are gross and disgusting and excusing X and you need to self-censor yourself and stop.

B: I create / enjoy the fanworks you are talking about.

You might associate X with the painful thing that happened to you, but it has entirely different meaning Z for me and others and above all, it is NOT an endorsement of thing X that hurt you.

Here, have evidence 1, evidence 2 and thought-out-argument 3,4, and 5 showing this. Also, could you please stop verbally abusing me?

A: I don’t care about your arguments and your evidence. I am a victim and I am in pain. If you even dare to question if my emotion is based in reality or take issue with my attacking you, then that is only proof of how you are an abuser and endorsing X.

B: ???? WTF???

Thing is, in this kind of interaction, A is the aggressor, using their victim status as a tool to silence anybody who might question their reasoning and their right to attack others.

It has come to my knowledge that reaps76, an artist and writer of the community and also a very famous blog, has deactivated their account after being repeatedly attacked by haters and even death threats.