Bajoran Barista

Every so often Quark will come by to discuss business. He likes to keep things friendly and offer “advice” to his competition. Occasionally we make friendly wagers on profit margins and similar things. Every now and then he seems nervous and tells me to make sure that I don't have any extra chairs, utensils, or cups.

“Count your condiments! You never know when one of them might actually be Odo spying on you.” He will say in a half joking tone and I usually just smile and tell him that I have nothing to hide.

I used to think that he was just being overly paranoid, but today I had an experience that convinced me otherwise. I woke up this morning and got ready for work like I usually do. As I was getting dressed I noticed that my earring was in an odd place, but I didn't think much about it at the time.

Later in the day I was serving customers as usual when I noticed one of them was acting nervous. He kept glancing over his shoulder. As I handed him a cup of raktajino my earring came loose and fell into the cup. I started to apologize to him when suddenly a large amber colored mass shot out of the cup and grabbed the nervous patron. The next thing I knew Odo was standing before me with one hand gripping his prisoner's arm and the other one held out before me with my earring in its palm. I was too shocked to say anything so I just stood there with my mouth open. He grunted, placed the earring in my hand and tapped his combadge announcing that he had captured the Cardassian spy.

Before he led the prisoner away Odo turned to me and said, “In case you're wondering, your earring clasp is still in your quarters in the jewelery box.”

Part of me feels extremely angry and violated, but he did capture a Cardassian spy who was disguised as a Bajoran. I also can't help but wonder where the hell he keeps his combadge when he's shape shifting.

It didn't take long for Quark to catch wind of what went down. So of course he came by with an “I told you so.” At least he was sympathetic.

Before he left, Quark half smiled and said,

“He's got no sense of boundaries or personal space. We're all just suspicious solids to him.”

Today the jumja stick vender was complaining about pieces of fluff that were sticking to her products. She said she was afraid we might have another vole infestation. After a little investigating I soon discovered the real culprit was Chief O'Brien. Whenever he came rushing past the jumja stall wearing that furry ancient Earth garb on his way to the Holosuite, the confections became covered in strands of the replicated fur. Nog didn't seem to notice.

Constable Odo has just informed me that Dr. Bashir should also be considered a suspect.

This morning a Klingon told me that I made a raktajino that was "Truly worthy of a warrior's praise and much better than that replicated Federation swill." I didn't have the heart to tell him that the beans I used were a Bajoran blend fresh from a Cardassian replicator.