BaggityBean

Whenever I enjoy my time scurrying at the local cemetery there's this guy who always tries to hunt me down with a flintlock pistol.

The drugs in my system are unionizing against me.

Just got kicked out of Walmart for turning on every light, lamp, and bulb I could find. Those dicks at Walmart can't understand a little light humor.

Shoutout to my boy uh...

I know that if you gave me like an hour and some Jim Beam I could befriend the skinwalkers in Appalachia. I bet someone probably already did. That's why they're so scary, so they'll scare fucking creeps away from this one guy's moonshine still. In return the guy just pays them in shine and it's just a cool little setup they got going on.

I found a little gnome in the woods and asked if he was down to smoke. He brought out the fucking EVIL pack, shit was straight up RED.

Everyone's always talking about cement and concrete, meanwhile mortar is sitting politely in a comfy chair reading The Catcher in the Rye.