bailey

life is so brutal to guys who just want to sleep

your boyfriend smelled like garlic so i crushed him with my knife and then diced him and fried him in oil. sorry. he still smells good btw

stop being a pussy and start being a cunt

“are u ok” no where is my kiss

me drinking iced coffee: this is going to fix everything

It matters because I gave it meaning bitch

feminine urge to Know Everything and speak 12 languages

abandonment issues? fuck yeah i’m abandoning these issues. bye

academic validation feels so hot until i actually have to study for it

just a girl who’s filled with primordial rage

the way I see it there are at least twelve equally reasonable and likely futures for me, anything from moving to the australian outback to care for kangaroos to becoming a poet in a big city. could move to a small town in italy and exclusively ride bikes to get around. get a degree in human rights law. freelance software develop out of buenos aires. go to fashion design school. work at a plant nursery in amsterdam. write a great american novel while riding trains across the country. go to iceland and live in the forest. build my own cabin in rural vermont. start a youtube channel about cooking. or just keep plowing my life into the ground like someone without goals or aspirations or the ability to commit to anything

GIRL you are KILLING IT! GIRL i don’t think it’s MOVING ANYMORE. GIRL you can STOP BITING

we should start giving chainsaws to girls

Y'all need to type paragraphs of arguments less and learn to say “blow me bitch” to people

I have to do something drastic. Well maybe I don't but that's how I feel

you know how everyone treats women like we’re ancient after 30 i think we should lean into that. i want retirement. i want senior discounts