CHOP , CHOP , CHOP !

‘ we should split up.’

‘ it was probably just the wind.’

‘ it’s probably nothing. just my / your imagination.’

‘ aw, come on! it’s  just a silly game someone made to scare little kids. it’s not real.’

‘ did you see that? i think i saw something move…’

‘ wait here, i’m gonna go check it out.’

‘ i heard this place is haunted. let’s go have a look.’

‘ i feel safe here.’

‘ i don’t feel safe here.’

‘ i feel like there’s someone / something watching us.’

‘ hello? is somebody there?’

‘ there’s no signal on my phone. you?’

‘ my phone’s ( almost ) out of battery.’

‘ and there goes the flashlight. how are we gonna see anything now?’

‘ what happened? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.’

‘ RUN!’

‘ you’re scaring me.’

‘ if this is a joke, it’s not funny.’

‘ just stop, this isn’t funny anymore.’

‘ it’s not real. it’s not real!’

‘ i’m just dreaming… this is just a nightmare.’

‘ how about we DON’T go into a haunted place in the middle of the night? just a thought.’

‘ yeah, i’m NOT gonna follow a blood trail into a creepy dark place, thanks.’

‘ you know, when a sign reads ‘dangerous. keep out,’ i kind of want to listen to it.’

‘ the door opened up by itself. no way in hell i’m going in there!’

‘ yeah, i’ve watched enough horror movies to know that’s a terrible idea.’

‘ there’s no need to be afraid. it’s just a dream.’

‘ it’s waiting for you.’

‘ it’s just a dream, right? or is it?’

‘ so, now you’re afraid of the dark, yes?’

‘ you’re afraid to sleep?’

‘ i just don’t want to see them again.’

‘ i think they want to hurt me. to take my place.’

‘ i’m going to die.’

‘ you could scare the hell outta somebody.’

‘ i didn’t want her / him to suffer.’

‘ jesus! fuck! what the fuck?!’

‘ my god, are you serious? that’s crazy!’

‘ his / her face was all swollen and- and bruised, and bloody.’

‘ it was so scary. when i woke up, it seemed like it was still in the room with me.’

‘ it was the worst nightmare i’ve ever had.’

‘ there’s something out there, isn’t there?’

‘ they’re going to kill me for sure.’

‘ you were screaming like crazy.’

‘ it was dark, but i’m sure there was somebody in there.’

‘ i thought it was just another nightmare.’

‘ i don’t think you’re crazy.’

‘ you’ll never come back!’

‘ it’s got a death curse.’

‘ at least i’m not afraid of ghosts.’

‘ you’re doomed if you stay here.’

‘ it’s ten miles to the nearest crossroads.’

‘ we’ll be laughing about this tomorrow.’

‘ no, no! they’re all dead! they’re all dead!’

‘ don’t leave me! they’ll kill you too!’

this was made using dialogue from the first six movies.   trigger warning for mentions of violence, murder, animal death, gore, drug usage, incest , ableist and misogynistic language, nsfw themes, and everyone just generally being assholes.   feel free to edit these as you please.

 “ i heard you, but it don’t mean much. ”

 “ a dog will hunt. ”

 “ you’re so dead you don’t even know it. ”

 “ what kinda sick shit is this? ”

 “ oh, you just hush. ”

 “ i promise you, you and i are gonna have some fun. ”

 “ what if i were to turn you loose, what would you give me? ”

 “ don’t call me darling, dammit. ”

 “ no, please! no! ”

 “ that was for your own good. ”

 “ do you think all i wanna do is kill you? ”

 “ back up, pig fucker! ”

 “ i’m starting to think you like wasting my time. ”

 “ if that’s what you want, it’s up to you. ”

 “ i wonder whose tongue this is? ”

 “ what are you doing to yourself? ”

 “ today i’m gonna use my tongue in ways the lord never intended. ”

 “ you’re just trying to scare me into leaving. ”

 “ they take the head and they boil it, except for the tongue. ”

 “ how mad at me are you? ”

 “ you don’t need to be walking these roads alone at night. you should get in. ”

 “ stop, you’re scaring me. ”

 “ no talking until after i say grace, asshole. ”

 “ i’m gonna ask you nicely one more time. ”

 “ yeah, you gotta watch it getting into cars with strangers these days. ”

 “ people shouldn’t kill animals for food. ”

 “ you have to get out of here. ”

 “ oh my god, i’m way too stoned for this. ”

 “ it’s easier to resist at the beginning than the end. ”

 “ man, it’s hot in here. ”

 “ please stop your damn bellyaching. ”

 “ i smell bullshit. ”

 “ you’re gonna get killed doing that. ”

 “ you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. ”

 “ i think you’re chasing the wrong tail, buddy. ”

 “ i’ve got a perfect willingness to die. ”

“ you stay away from me, you fucking animal! ”

 “ there’s more work to be done, lets get it over with. ”

 “ you know why i’m here. ”

 “ get your sweet little ass back in the dirt until i say otherwise. ”

 “ look at me, i’m not a dope smuggler. ”

 “ you can’t get cancer from not having sex. ”

 “ i hate when this happens. ”

 “ guess i’m falling apart on you, honey. ”

 “ do you fuck all of your cousins or just the ones you find attractive? ”

 “ that was beautiful form. ”

 “ son of a bitch smells just like a slaughterhouse. ”

 “ the only thing you’re gonna catch in this water is disease. ”

 “ oh, he’s weird looking. ”

 “ what’re the chances of a brainless bitch like you knowing how to use that thing, huh? ”

 “ hey, what the shit? ”

“ it’s too much, i’m gonna be sick. ”

 “ where you headed, man? ”

 “ are you ashamed of your country? ”

 “ what are you afraid of, that they might try to fuck you? ”

 “ hell’s exactly what they raised. ”

 “ there’s roadkill all over texas. ” 

 “ fine, i lied, but it’s not my fault they were stupid enough to believe it. ”

 “ i guess that’s what brains look like. kind of like lasagna. ”

 “ keep your voice down. ”  

 “ what you do is your own business. ”

 “ boy are you dumb. 

 “ well, first i’m gonna kill you. it ain’t no fucking biggie. ”

 “ your little ass is gonna be in big trouble. ”

 “ how’d you get stuck way out here? ”

 “ i did it for us. ”

 “ are you afraid of a little blood? ”

 “ you beautiful bastard, you. ”

 “ i just thought of something so cool, what if we got into a wreck, and we crashed into the car in front of us and we all died. they could write a song about it. ”

 “ they live off fear, they thrive on it. ”

 “ the saw is family. ”

 “ you wouldn’t lie to me, would you? ”

 “ well lookie here, we’ve got ourselves a killer. ”

 “ you’ve never had a date in your life you’re so ugly. ”

 “ how often do girls blow their heads off in this shit hole town? ”

 “ that was so not cool. ”

 “ i have a question for you. ”

 “ you’re not scared, you don’t know shit about being scared. not yet. ”

 “ you better rocket, cowboy. ”

 “ promise you won’t hurt me. ”

 “ on a list of bad ideas, that one is way up there. ”

 “ i’m sorry, but we’re all gonna die. ”

“ you just keep sweet talking me, dumpling. ”

 “ that gun’s no good. ”

 “ you think i give a god damn what happens to you? ”

 “ you can’t do it alone. ”

 “ put down the weapon, don’t be stupid. ”

 “ there could be dead people buried all around us and we would never know. ”

 “ you really think you’re something in that outfit, don’t you? ”

 “ it is my fault. ”

“ there comes a time when every boy becomes a man. ”

 “ come on and take a sip, you gotta have something to build up your strength. ”

 “ i’ve got a mind to slit your damn throat. ”

 “ i like that skin of yours. ”

 “ after the glory, here comes the shame. ”

 “ the old way, with the sledgehammer, see that was better, they died better that way. ”

 “ that’s it. don’t call me dumb. ”

 “ i’ll tuck you in special every night. ”

 “ this is bullshit, i have rights. ”

 “ quiet! you act like a pack of hounds. ”

 “ how are you an expert on the dumbest shit? ”

 “ you figure it out, it’s your life. welcome to the real world. ”

 “ i don’t want to fight anymore. ”

 “ what if they’re a murderer and they want us to follow them? ”

 “ ladies love a man in uniform. ”

 “ you got one choice, sex or the saw? ”

 “ i oughta blow your fucking brains out right now. ”

 “ get back in there! get your ass back in there. ”

 “ you think this is a party? ”

 “ i’ve never seen anybody die before. ”

 “ basically if you’re buried right your skin turns into poison crisco. ”

 “ i think you have a beautiful voice. ”

 “ please, you can make them stop. ”

 “ you blasphemous bitch! ”

 “ he’s a really bad man. ”

“ what’s it gonna be,  you gonna be the motherfucker who eats, or are you gonna be the poor sorry motherfucker who gets ate? “

 “ this is your lucky day. ”

 “ how about giving me a hand, asshole? ”

 “ i just wanna go home, okay? ”

 “ turned traitor for a piece of tail. ”

 “ i had to do it. i used you. ”

 “ can you believe we didn’t know each other yesterday? ”

 “ you shut your cock sucker, you son of a bitch. ”

“ you’re a lot tougher than i thought. ”

 “ i told you, i’m a bitch. ”

 “ are there people in those bags? ”

 “ if you get too hot, you can always take your clothes off. ”

 “ you’re gonna get in my way. ”

 “ i’m sorry, sweetie, i got a big mouth. ”

 “ you expect me to do this by myself? ”

 “ you can’t make me go back there. ”

 “ i ain’t finished with you yet. ”

 “ you just figure out how to do it and do it. ”

 “ they just get dumber and dumber, don’t they? ”

 “ i should have listened to my old man and went into real estate. ”

 “ please, don’t let them kill me. ”

 “ you like this face? ”

 “ what the fuck is wrong with you people? ”

 “ get that thing off my cutting board. ”

 “ i ain’t got no fear left. ”

 “ you’re embarrassing me in front of company. ”

 “ i always get yanked into this shit. ”

 “ shut up, you bitch hog. ”

 “ okay, could you relax, because you’re not helping. ”

 “ you brought this all on yourself. ”

 “ try to speak plain, it saves time. “

 “ i really wish you would call me ____. ”

 “ do i have to do every damn thing around here? ”

 “ how bad is it? i can’t feel it. ”

 “ do you mean talk or dance around the real subject with chit-chat? ”

 “ you don’t understand nothing. ”

 “ we’re on our own now. ”

 “ excuse me, you mind getting the fuck out of my way? ”

 “ we’re not even having fun yet. ”

 “ could be worse, at least we’re not as bad off as those people in the body pit. ”

 “ i just can’t take no pleasure in killing. ”

 “ you’re all gonna pay for your sins. especially you. ”

 “ i believe you, i might be the only believer you’ve got. ”

 “ just some things you gotta do. don’t mean you gotta like it. ”

 “ hard ass, me? maybe a semi hard ass but i’ve got a soft heart. ”

 “ i’ll take you back to hell. ”