something extraordinary will happen to me this summer i can feel it

bouncy loud fun music with the bleakest lyrics imaginable is literally my fav thing ever

developed a sexuality that isn’t gratified by or even remotely compatible with the actual configuration of my body and the people i’m attracted to’s behavior represents actual transgression in the shithole i live in and i can’t talk about or express what i want to anyone and people just force their own desires onto me because they assume i’m just like every other straight woman but they also think i’m a loser and a weirdo for not being interested in anyone or dating much at all and i spent my whole life wallowing in disgust and guilt because everything i’ve felt was some kind of elaborate trauma response but i also can’t eradicate it because it brings me comfort so yes actually i hope everyone in their little government approved marriage eats shit and dies like the worthless pigs they are on their little honeymoon vacation.

sometimes i think i can go on for the rest of my life without having a relationship then i see an artwork that depicts a dynamic i crave and i feel so sick i can feel my intracranial pressure rise until i vomit

time to fantasize about a life i’ll never have in a body i will never be in <3 until i fall asleep