Baby Warg

Tony lunges for his phone and punches in a number he’s long since known by heart. Thankfully, and likely motivated by some sort of conditioning, Rhodey picks up near instantly. “Rhodey. Rhodey, something’s wrong with me.”

“Tones, what’s going on?” Rhodey asks, all cautious alertness. 

“My heartrate’s skyrocketing, I’m sweating and I can’t focus on anything - not even my projects. Rhodey, what good am I if I can’t get into the zone? All I am is my mind Rhodey. I NEED my mind.” Tony paces and runs a hand through his hair. “Something’s seriously wrong if I can’t make shit.”

A pause. “FRIDAY, is Tony dying again?” 

Offended, Tony says, “I’m right here.” 

“Yeah, and you never tell us anything if it has to do with your health. Thus, the big baby monitor protocol.” 

“It’s called the Tony Monitor.”

“That’s what I said.”

Tony scowls, but is cut off from arguing further by FRIDAY saying, “Boss, while exhibiting symptoms of an anxiety attack, is not currently experiencing an attack. After cursory research, it seems to be nervousness.”

Rhodey groans and Tony can practically hear the eyeroll. “Tony, you’re killing me. What are you even nervous about?” 

“I’m not nervous.” Tony denies. “I don’t get nervous. I’ve had nerves of iron my entire life.” 

Rhodey hums in thought. “You know, you might have a point there. I’ve seen you get defensive from trust issues, but I don’t think you’ve ever been nervous-nervous.”

“See!” Tony exclaims, vindicated. 

“FRIDAY, what’s making Tony spazz out?” Rhodey mercilessly kicks Tony back down to Earth. Tony makes a sound of indignation, but FRIDAY, the traitor, proceeds to answer Rhodey’s question. 

“Dr. Strange is due to come by for a meeting regarding maintaining relations between Kamar Taj and the Avengers going forwards.” And then, because he doesn’t get to keep anything to himself apparently, Friday says, “Boss has checked the schedule three times and has shifted things in his workshop twice. He periodically stops working to clean up after himself and has changed five times.” 

Tony doesn’t get to do more than squawk in protest before Rhodey's raucous laughter pours over the phone. Insultingly, it goes on for several minutes. A couple of times, Rhodey pauses as if to say something, only to burst into suppressed giggles that Tony could still hear. 

Tony’s scowl grows deeper. 

“Ahaha… Phew. Oh, it’s finally happened. You’ve got your first schoolboy crush, you big baby.” 

“I don’t have a crush. There is no crushing here. I’m not nervous, and I didn’t do any of that! As often as you’re saying.” 

“Sorry boss.” FRIDAY apologizes, without a speck of actual regret in her tone. “You did, in fact, do all of that.” 

Tony scoffs. He changes the subject. “And what’s with you, Platypus? Even if I did have a crush on Strange, which I don’t, you’ve never approved of anyone I took interest in before.” 

The unimpressed silence stretches for just a fraction of a bit too long. Tony winces. “Because the only people you’ve ever had around were gold-diggers or mindless parrots.” Rhodey says flatly. “Strange is just you, but more on the opposite scale of things. You two balance each other out.” 

Tony only gets to feel touched for an instant. “Besides,” Rhodey continues, “Stephen might be an asshole, but underneath that shell of his, he’s all gooey insides. He’s a pretty fun guy.” 

Tony blinks. He tries to clean out his ears. “I think I have tinnitus. What did you just say?” 

Rhodey laughs mockingly. “We’ve talked every once in a while. He wanted to give me some options I didn’t have before. Did you know the wizards can use magic to move paralyzed limbs?”

A lump instantly forms in his throat. No, Tony didn’t know that. His mind races with the implications. 

“I said no. And don’t you try and talk me out of it.” Rhodey chides without missing a beat. Tony closes his mouth. “What happened, happened. I’ve made my peace with it. Sure, it would be nice to stand on my own two feet, but magic’s not for me.” And both of them know, no matter how much he trusts the ones who wield magic, Tony will never be fully comfortable with it being used around him. 

“You’ll figure something out, Tones. I’ll just wait until you can science me up a solution instead.” 

Tony takes a minute to process that. He clears his throat. “Well. Of course I will.” 

He searches for a way to divert the conversation away from feelings, only to feel like he’s been hit by a clue-by-four. “Wait. What do you mean you’ve been meeting with Strange? And did you call him Stephen?” 

Rhodey chuckles. “We meet once a month to chat. He translates some of the nonsense from my doctor’s appointments. He’s a damn good doctor, too. Remember that crick in my hip? Three different docs could only tell me something was wrong, but Stephen managed to sort me out after I told him about it. It wasn’t my spine, it was my skin - I’m mildly allergic to the muscle relaxant. It’s why the symptoms were only showing recently. Some exposure is fine, but overtime, the effects added up.”

Tony’s face does something. He’s not sure what he’s more conflicted about. That Strange went over his head to talk to Rhodey about using magic or that Rhodey’s apparently been meeting Strange for months - enough to call him Stephen (seriously Tony can’t get over that) - when the asshole knows that Tony’s been trying to get Strange on the team for just as long. 

(Unsuccessfully, but Tony prefers to think of it as a work in progress.)

“And don’t think you’re going to distract me.” Rhodey pauses and if he didn’t have a smirk the size of the Sicilian, Tony would eat his suit. “This isn’t about me and Stephen, this is about Stephen and you.” 

“What, our working relationship as heroes?” Tony tries to deflect. 

“Aha- nice try. It kills me that I can’t be there to watch you fall over yourself right now, but I’ll have to settle for prying your mouth open for the details. When are you going to ask him out?” 

Tony twitches and argues, “I’m not going to ask him out, because I don’t like him. He’s an asshole wizard who refuses to do the smart thing and become an Avenger.” 

Rhodey scoffs. “Pull the other one, it’s got bells on. You haven’t been this much of a mess since that time in Philly where-” 

“Alright, fuck- I thought we agreed to never speak of that again.” Tony cuts him off hastily. 

“You agreed. I hold veto rights.” 

He does, which Tony likes to pretend to forget about. He tongues his teeth in thought. “I dunno Rhodey, I still feel like this is all about something else.” 

Rhodey says something, but it’s covered up by interference. After a moment, his voice comes through loud and clear. “Alright Tones, I’ll let you believe that. But when you get your head out of the ground and take a hint, don’t try and push him away. Stephen likes you a lot or he wouldn’t have stood for having you hound his every step. Just man up and ask the guy out.”

There’s a lot for Tony to unpack in that (Stephen likes him?), but he doesn’t get the chance to think it over. More noise can be heard over the call. “Listen, I’ve got to go- keep me updated alright?”

There’s a tone to his voice that brooks no argument, and Tony knows he’s talking more than just about whatever crush Rhodey thinks Tony has. The soft warm feeling in his chest is more familiar than the way his guts nearly overturned just a few minutes back. “Yeah, yeah. Go do whatever it is you’re needed for.” 

The call ends and Tony’s left feeling better than he had before he talked to Rhodey. His Platypus really does know him best. Even if he HAS to be wrong about Tony liking Strange.  

Just to prove it, Tony pictures the wizard. His lithe, graceful movements. The way he somehow makes robes from ancient history look like some sort of fashion statement. His smug smirk, cheekbones sharp enough to cut diamond, and the ever changing color of his eyes. 

Tony flushes. Fuck. Maybe Rhodey has a point after all. He laughs uneasily, but Rhodey’s words come back to mind. 

Stephen likes him? Well, if Rhodey’s right about Tony, Tony won’t bet on Rhodey being wrong about Stephen, too. Plans start building up in his head. He’s going to charm the pants off the wizard- and hopefully a lot more too.