baby of lucifer

tuesday 4/11 today i woke up at nine. i had to go at 12:50 so i had some time to draw and listen to music. i came to school 13:20 and left 14:16, but had to wait almost half an our for the trolley because there had been electric issues in mölndal.  when i came home i put on my pajamas, turned on ghibli music and slept for an hour. after waking up i tried to draw but nowadays i get really frustrated because it never turns out the way i want. that’s why i don’t post a lot of drawings, i’m just not satisfied by how they turn out. my mind is spread out yet trapped.  tomorrow i’m going to meet jack in gothenburg, we’re going to look for shoes, go to topshop and fika. 

yesterday, sunday 2/11 mother, Jack and I went to visit grandmother, to help her fix some things in her apartment. I helped her remove dead contacts from her phone and add some new ones. from there, we walked over to ikea to buy some candles but ended up buying also a bathroom carpet, a plant, a small glass bowl and some towels for mother’s salon.  it was windy when we headed for the train, we were lucky to catch it right on time.  back home we watched the addams family and I ate some candy that I regret eating. time flew by and at eleven there was a movie on the tv called priest and I wanted to watch it and i did for fifteen minutes but then i fell asleep. i don’t know if Jack saw the whole thing, I forgot to ask. 

today I went to school but then I went back again before the class even started because i started crying so the teacher told me it was alright if I went back home  I slept for three hours when I came home so now I can’t sleep and tomorrow will be awful too.

Jack bought me a really cute sailor playsuit online and it has arrived now so he’s picking it up and i’m getting it tomorrow i’m excited wee ♡ now i’m sick in bed watching the walking dead

You struch me as a bit weird, i mean no offence because im a bit weird too and that's why im asking. Do your parents want to take you to a doctor or psychologist? Mine has suggested that to me and im wondering if it has happend you too and how you handle it?:) have a nice day!

I mess everything up  I stress over the littlest things  I’m so rude to the person who makes me the happiest and unhappiest at the same time How do I move forward when the best and the worst is in the same person  I’m a terrible girl

you know when it’s cloudy at night and the sky turns all orange from the street lights

I always freak out before going to a party. even if it’s just a hang-out-party and not a party-party. I always end up staying at home. so now Jack is going, I’m in bed and mother is having dinner in the livingroom. she wanted me to go but I stayed so now I’ve ruined her evening. I just can’t make myself go because I don’t know how to socialize and I’m just so nervous all the time it’s ridiculous ahahaha I’m just a huge disappointment to everyone.