Azyreth

if (sight()==lizard)&(random(1)==0): killLizard() else: if sight()==lizard: run()

if (sight()==lizard)&(random(1)==0): killLizard() else: if sight()==lizard: run()

Being asexual while playing smash or pass is so fun bcuz I just be lying

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

I just want to point out to everybody that this phone has DMX ports, which is the wiring system used by industrial stage lighting. you could theoretically use this phone to program stage lights.

Everyone has an accent it came free with your language 🙄

Congrats to every reply like this for failing to understand the fundamental definition of an accent. Of course you think you sound normal! It's the way you speak!

Gonna sign language at you in a very southern accent

I have no accent because it’s everyone ELSE that has an accent, not me. You can trust this because my opinion makes up the objective truth, and bias is what happens when someone disagrees with me.

I’m pretty sure the misogyny was purposeful, but maybe I’m wrong

Well yeah the misogyny was obviously purposeful, but I don’t think the original concept behind it was ever this damn perfect.

mmmmm What shard would I be?

I'm in, how we doin this?

Roughly twelve hours from now, I will send you the details

the secret to happiness is using the entire bag of chocolate chips when making cookies

TIP: you can increase the softness of your cookies by adding a little extra butter

mmmmm What shard would I be?

when i went to renfaire, i went with my friend, who’s a furry. he wanted to eat something, so i (a pierrot clown, pouting as one does) was holding his fursuit head in my lap until he needed it again. some guy walked by, saw the head, saw my frown, and went “well, you killed the thing, might as well be happy about it.” i swear to god i almost broke character it was funny

So uhh, what's a renfaire?

WHAT

What's a Renfaire? I have never heard the term before

Its a renaissance festival, dress up all fun and go out and enjoy. It frequently also includes fantasy and well- anything you want really

when i went to renfaire, i went with my friend, who’s a furry. he wanted to eat something, so i (a pierrot clown, pouting as one does) was holding his fursuit head in my lap until he needed it again. some guy walked by, saw the head, saw my frown, and went “well, you killed the thing, might as well be happy about it.” i swear to god i almost broke character it was funny

So uhh, what's a renfaire?

WHAT