writing far, far away

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Muti-Chapter Fics

Forget Me Not Masterlist

Forget Me Please “What If” Masterlist

Oneshots:

What We Used to Be

A Ray of Sunshine

Tension

Prisoner

A Mediocre Proposal

As Night Falls

A Taste so Sweet

The Huntress

Din Djarin/ The Mandalorian 

Multi-Chapter Fics

Two Sides of the Same Coin Masterlist 

The Clone Wars

Captain Rex:

Starlight Part II

Flip Zimmerman

Oneshots: 

A scoff of disbelief echoed through the confines of the small faded mask. Of all the ships in the galaxy… The interior of the beat up old freighter had seen better days, it was worn and seedier than she remembered. The walls were discolored and overall, the ship just looked tired.

            Despite her outer appearance of feigned annoyance and mild disgust, (Y/N) felt faint. A cold sweat broke across her concealed forehead and dampened the rest of her skin. Her limbs tingled with the dull pain of numbness, leaving her immobile, and her mouth was drawn together in a pucker from the bitter taste flowing like venom on her taste buds. And she had barely set foot inside, the boarding ramp just behind her. She could not fathom taking another step further.

It was like looking at a life from long ago. No, she swallowed thickly, that was too hopeful. Her eyes flickered around, chest tight with resurfacing pain. Pain that she had tried to extinguish over the years, but to no avail. It was always there inside her and now it was awake.

“Hey, we got the landing gear in decent shape … for now. So ready when you are.” The man with the dark curly hair came around the corner. Poe, he had introduced himself as beneath the quiet winds of Endor. Grease was smudged across his one cheek and his eyebrows furrowed quickly as he took notice of the visor closed on (Y/N)’s mask. His startlement was quite easy to read. It was pleasing to witness the dawning of their realizations that she was not what they had envisioned for an ally. A Force user perhaps, but not her.

(Y/N) was no ally, she was no soldier, not anymore. She actively avoided this war, vanishing to a planet untouched since the end of the Galactic Civil War, a war she heard stories of since her youth. An old war that seemed to define the path of the future. She was determined to stay hidden, an unknown shadow in a forest riddled with remnants of old battles. This desire had almost allowed her to turn her back on the three young Resistance members, but then the melody filled her ears. The song that reminded her why she had disappeared in the first place and why she could no longer stay hidden. Nor could she avoid this fight forever, not when the Resistance stood before her at the request of their General. And as the three intruders began discussing the origin of the bird song, (Y/N) knew she needed to join them before their curiosity grew too much. If she could manage, if it was even a possibility, she would emerge from this fight with her secrets still intact.

“We’re ready.”

Gritting her teeth, (Y/N) glanced over her shoulder to glare at the young Jedi. Speaking of secrets… (Y/N) was still shaken from the memory Rey had witnessed when touching the one saber. She had observed as the events unfolded inside the young woman’s eyes and how horrified she had looked. (Y/N) knew the feeling… Still she was furious Rey had touched the saber and in turn revealed a piece of her past. A dark piece too. Worse, she resented the way Rey seemed to connect the dots, drawing together a small part of the truth.

(Y/N) had seen red when the girl voiced her awareness, the dread and sorrow dissipating from her entirely. She could barely control herself when she towered over the young woman and delivered her menacing warning. Rey knew nothing of her story, of her past. A simple glance into a nightmare of a memory did not provide total insight. And (Y/N) had intended for it to be that way, for the truth to be concealed, always.

Rey’s eyes flitted over to hers and the two women were mute, locked into each other, blind to the barrier of the mask. Rey was in shock as well, her telling eyes giving it away. Her mind frantically kept reviewing the night of the fire, replaying the words over and over again. (Y/N) could see the frightened brown eyes that had gazed so intensely down at her that night so long ago. Grimacing, she let the mask drop away from Rey, attempting to block out the image that haunted her for years. Rey’s sympathy and regret also oozed from her aura. (Y/N) did not want it.

Yet, beneath it all she could feel confusion. The girl obviously felt something, something she could not place, something between the two of them. The unsureness left Rey feeling upset and frustrated. She was… naive. Perhaps that was the wrong way to describe it, the girl was smart and resourceful, but with all that was transpiring it fashioned (Y/N) into a sullen creature who was not above being condescending.

(Y/N) was not ignorant though. She knew what the feeling was, it was something she had felt for most of her life until just before she went into hiding. It was a calling, beckoning them closer, a pure and rare connection. In the back of her mind she admitted that it was only appropriate. She knew Rey’s origin, the Force illuminating it so, and with who (Y/N) was it only made sense that the Force would connect them all. But she would offer no solace, she could not provide it, not like this, when she was drowning in anguish. And as she had so clearly stated before she was nobody’s hope, just a child of the Force, lost among the stars.

(Y/N) did not speak nor spare another glance as she turned to leave the two Resistance members in the corridor. “The main hold is just-” Poe spoke but she only raised her hand, efficiently silencing him. She knew where she was going. It was burned into her memory, leaving a scar just like everything else.

As she followed the curved path of the corridor, (Y/N) caught a glimpse of the cockpit just down the adjoining hall. Her throat tightened and a fiery ache erupted inside her at the sight, the quick movements of gold plating and dark brown fur coming from inside only added to the pain.

A day in the thick Endorian forest beneath the basking glow of the rising sun, resurfaced in her mind. (Y/N) recalled freezing in her tracks, her possessions slipping from her hands as unbearable pain bursted inside her. She had fallen to the moss covered ground, clutching roughly at her chest, tears stinging in her eyes. Through the Force she had felt pure agony, but she was uncertain if it had been the father’s or the son’s.

Tears pricked her eyes now and the ill feeling in her intensified. Stumbling forward, her legs felt twice their weight but it was an afterthought to the screaming in her head instructing her to get away. But she could not escape, not now. She was stuck on this ship, stuck with remembering.

The main hold came into view and (Y/N)’s knees gave out, dropping her into the rounded bench. The table before her used to host many games now it was just empty, abandoned. Much like the past and the future dreamt of. Her trembling elbows came to rest on the surface and she let out a breathy exhale.

Closing her eyes, she cradled her durasteel covered head in her clammy hands. It was as if she could hear the voices of the past: children running through the many halls, the motherly scolding to be careful, hiding in the smuggling compartments only for the hatch to be lifted and that familiar head of dark hair with hidden silver strands to peer down with that infamous smirk and coy laugh. That was all gone now, dead.

A shudder raked over her stiffened body. It felt as if she could not breathe, a weight pressing down on her lungs. Her dominant hand trailed down to her worn green tunic and pressed firmly against the indent of her sternum, seeking any relief to the pressure she could find.

The voices of the past seemed to louden, tumbling over each other until they turned into streams of noise, like a ship jumping into lightspeed. (Y/N) took a deep breath and mentally scolded herself. She needed to regain her control, she needed to focus on the task at hand so she could return to Endor as soon as possible. She already missed the lush greenery and the fresh air, the air she could breathe in, where the reminders of the past were not so painful. But it was not so easy, the noise would not quiet, and the torment would not subside.

This was looking death in the eyes.

“We’ll be your new home, if you’d like.”

“Found ya, kids. You know you two would make good smugglers one day.” “Han!”

“I’m not scared of you. I’m not B-”

A presence entered the area, pulling (Y/N) out from the labyrinth she had been lost in. She was unsure how long had passed, the snare in her mind too difficult to escape. The weakness growing inside allowed for all of this to slip past the barricades she had built. (Y/N) was almost glad for the interruption as it prevented the worst from slipping through. The very thing she had entombed deep within herself. The monster that would drown her.

She did not lift her head nor spare any acknowledgement to indicate she knew of the other person here. She did not want to be asked any more questions, not from her. The inquisitive girl was awfully quiet though…

From the corner of her eye, (Y/N) caught sight of Rey, who stood motionless on the other side of the small room. Her eyes were glazed over with rumination and almost entirely unfocused as she stared in (Y/N)’s direction. What was she seeking out?

Rey blinked returning from her deep trance with a look of somber falling onto her face. She looked down, seeming to be conversing with herself inwardly. Her hands danced around at her sides like she was playing an invisible instrument, it made (Y/N) anxious. It seemed as if the girl was debating over whether or not to say something. Rey’s fingers suddenly flexed outwards, reflecting the decision she had come to. Rey took a small step forward, lips parting to speak. (Y/N) winced in preparation.

“I can feel the turmoil inside you, the pain in remembering.” Her words struck a small match inside a dark hidden corner of (Y/N)’s mind. The giddy laughter of a boy playing in a meadow flashed across her mind. It was gone in a second, like a match dying out, but it had left its mark. (Y/N) staggered up, ignoring the dull ache that spread up her leg as she hit it against the round table. She could not breathe, could not find the strength to beg Rey to stop before she continued to harm her.

“I felt your fear on Endor.” Children, a boy and a girl, sat beneath the sinking sun imitating the call of the birds sorrowing above. A gasp tumbled out of (Y/N)’s quivering lips, her head furiously shaking and demanding for the brunette to stop.

“You must have hope…” A grand ball, swirls of gowns, and shared timid glances. Her hands flew to the sides of the helmet as if she could block out Rey’s voice and the misery that followed.

“Hope for this war…” Fire consumed the large divine structure of a temple. Closing her eyes (Y/N) whimpered, pressing a hand to her abdomen. She felt dizzy, her surroundings spinning as her mind did.

“Hope for him.” (Y/N)’s head shot up, her eyes snapping open. The words were barely audible as they escaped Rey, almost as if she knew how dangerous it would be to utter them. And indeed they were…

“No.” (Y/N) choked out desperately trying to suppress what memories were being illuminated by the match, but it was too late, the damage was done. The monster was free. Hair as dark as night, soft pleading eyes filled with sadness and adoration. Sweet words and caresses, comfort sought out beneath the starry sky, bright smiles by the glistening lake.

The main hold began to tremble, durasteel creaking as her hands curled into tight fists. Her vision transformed into the red hot fury it had on Endor when the girl had spoken of the memory. Anger coursed through her veins, her connection to the Force strengthening, and (Y/N) fixated on the foolish girl, ready to unleash.

“Hope?” She spit out in disgust. “I held out hope for so long,” (Y/N) took menacing steps forward as Rey retreated slowly. A hand outstretched, willing something roughly into its grasp. “Look where it’s gotten me!”

Before Rey had a moment to absorb the resentment in (Y/N)’s voice or question what she truly meant by her words, a beam of indigo illuminated the room. Lunging forward, (Y/N) hovered the blade of light an inch above Rey’s throat.

The naive Resistance member knew nothing of her, of where she came from, of what she faced, of who she truly was… No one did. And yet, Rey felt she could tell her to have hope. (Y/N) would have laughed if she could have. Hope was the reason she had ended up on Endor, hidden and carrying the burden of lies and death. Hope was for children.

Glaring down at the young woman, (Y/N) could feel the Force surrounding them blaze to life with such an intensity that she was forced to suck in a harsh breath. The vivacious current penetrated her and flowed through Rey as well, blindly connecting through energy, through life. It was overpowering to the senses but (Y/N) already felt numb. Nonetheless she drank in the feeling of connection. It reminded her of the whole and pure feeling she had felt her whole life before it had been torn from her soul, leaving a hollow ache that never faded.

Realization dawned upon her in the midst of all this and (Y/N) focused on Rey. Fear pooled in the hazel irises of the girl, mirroring the fearful brown eyes that had pleaded to her the night of the fire. Rey was the reason the barricades that protected her were crumbling down. She was why the memory of him was resurfacing. The reason why (Y/N) was crumbling down too.

“You’re no Jedi.” Rey breathed out, eyes cautiously flickering between the ignited lightsaber tightly grasped in (Y/N)’s dominant hand and the closed visor of the mask. A position she had found herself in for the second time that day.

Her words took (Y/N) by surprise, but she was not wrong. She could read Rey’s inner thoughts of confusion, the inability to fully understand the duality she felt surrounding (Y/N)’s aura. It was unlike anything Rey had felt and yet the girl’s mind knew the importance of it. Fear began to dissipate from Rey’s eyes instead being replaced by curiosity. But that was enough to douse (Y/N)’s temper. 

Curiosity was worse.

With a soft whoosh her lightsaber was turned off and sheathed back onto her worn leather belt. “No, I’m not.” Her voice was lower, but still taut. (Y/N) took a weak step backwards and only then did the last match flare up. “You and I were written in the stars, brought together by the Force.”

The rich voice echoed across her mind and (Y/N) had to bite her bottom lip to contain the sob threatening to rip through her. Oh how far life had strayed from those evenings in the meadow underneath the sky and the breathtaking colors of dusk. How far they had strayed from the ways of the Jedi. How far they had strayed from such an intertwined destiny. But it was the only way… to be shrouded in lies and deception.

“The Jedi are dead.” With that (Y/N) turned swiftly, exiting the main hold.

Taglist: 

Rex crouched down among his brothers, gripping his blasters tightly as he heaved in deep sporadic breaths.

Through the smoke of blaster shots, war was an illusion painted vibrantly. The sight comparable to the paintings he had come by on his deployments, especially on Naboo. But war was not vibrant and rich with life like those paintings. No, war was an image destroyed and never completely whole, where branches of death and despair weaved in and out of a dutiful life.

Rex had imagined a life like that painting on Naboo and in the smoke of the battlefield he could almost reach out to touch it. A bitter laugh lodged itself in his throat, a man created to fight a war dreaming of life without it, something he’d never known. Not yet…

“These clankers are gaining Captain!” Jesse shouted from his side, bucket lit by streams of blasts whirling by. His voice brings the Captain of the 501st back to reality.

“Sir as much as I love a game of count the clanker down,” On his left, Fives paused springing up from his place of cover to take a few shots at closing in droids. Each shot striking true. “I have to agree this is getting to be a bit much.”  

“We need reinforcements!” Echo added alongside Fives, causing the other men to nod in agreement. It took a lot for the Torrent company to admit they needed help…

Rex knew his vods were becoming weary, this “stealth operation” to gain intel unfortunately turning into a long drawn out shoot out, but they had to hold out just for a little longer.

“General said to hang in there boys! Said he had something big plan-” Before Rex could finish his words of encouragement a shadow moved in his line of vision.

Eyes whipping beneath his helmet in search of the movement, Rex expected to find an ambush mounting their assault on the unassuming soldiers from their rear, not … a civilian?

A figure was pressed low into the ground seeking cover behind the makeshift shelter his men were currently occupying. A tattered and distressed cloak concealed most of the unknown figure, but Rex could make out a hand hidden in a large draping sleeve clutching something tightly.

What in the Maker… where had they come from?

“Someone get the civilian out of here!” Rex shouted over the buzz of combat, eyes jumping back over to the person who had somehow successfully maneuvered themselves to crouch down besides him. The Captain froze in surprise, catching the way narrowed eyes peeking out from the hood were illuminated by streaks of red and blue.

“It’s not safe.” He spoke thickly to the civilian, unsure why they had chosen to inch closer to danger.

As if to further his claim, an explosion sounded off from the enemies line. A cloud of smoke erupted from the blast’s origin and came hurtling towards the 501st. A spray of debris showered across the bridge as the men ducked, hands cradling concealed heads as they attempted to shroud themselves from the ricochet of the explosion.

Rex’s ears rang as the echo of the blast faded into nothing but white noise. Several blue painted helmets peered over the barrier of debris to find all the clankers collapsed to the ground, circuits fried, and parts in disarray.

The armored assault tank that aided in overwhelming the Republic forces, now laid in a bed of flames, General Skywalker perched on top of it.  In one hand was his ignited lightsaber, the very lightsaber that had been used to save the Republic from defeat far too many times, its blue hue casting a shadow onto his smirking face. In the other hand, a droid popper was cradled with great care. Rex could identify it as one of those droid poppers that that mechanic Fives was so smitten with had been designing alongside the General. Their power doubled and they covered far more square footage.  The Captain supposed it had finally been time to test it in action and it could not have arrived at a better time.

“Nice timing General!” Hardcase laughed, voicing Rex’s very thoughts. He could only chuckle along at the flair of his Jedi, vaguely aware of the figure who had shielded themselves besides him during the blast, now standing to their full height. They took a step forward out of the safety the shelter provided and the blonde clone began to ponder if this civilian had a death wish. Although there were no current threats, that did not guarantee that another wave of clankers was not on its way.

“Skywalker, you trying to blow my cover?” A woman’s voice called out from beneath the cloak and Rex’s mouth opened a gap, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Pssh, please (Y/L/N)!” General Skywalker grinned jumping down from the assault tank. “I’m just trying to liven up this battle!”

The two walked towards each other as Rex stayed in his position, embarrassment transforming his limbs into solid blocks of ice, rendering him motionless. The last name General Skywalker spoke doing so to the flustered Captain of the 501st.

“You mean you wanted to make an entrance?” The General rolled his eyes and ignored the question, instead turning to his troops, who all watched the peculiar scene before them.

“Men! This is General (Y/N) (Y/L/N), she along with the 481st have come to aid us!” Skywalker announced and shocked whispers spread across the brothers of the Torrent company like wildfire.

The hooded figure turned to the small group, the hood dropping to reveal you, the Jedi General the 501st and every other legion had heard so much about. The Jedi who was well revered by fellow officers and the Jedi Council at such a young age, who had the highest clone trooper survival rate only seconding to General Kenobi and General Koon, who along with the elite 481st legion had led separatists goons and their clankers to their ultimate destruction. Rex’s eyes watched you intently as you smiled brightly at his men and his chest seemed to constrict with an overwhelming amount of respect. Torrent company was in good hands.

“(Y/L/N) as in Dawnfire (Y/L/N)?” Echo spoke the names almost hushed, like they belonged to the legends told beneath the moonlight across the galaxy.

Removing his bucket, Echo approached the two Generals, an excitable grin consuming the face of the knowledgeable ARC trooper. The Dawnfire was a highly regarded Republic Cruiser, one that had yet to see defeat and was where many prototype weapons first saw daylight.

“Yes.” You nodded a low smirk forming on your lips. “It pays to not have an ongoing game of let’s see how many times you can damage your ship during a siege.” Your eyes traveled back over to your fellow Jedi, the man only offering you a sheepish grin and a light toss of the droid popper he still carried.

“Careful Anakin, wouldn’t want you to fry the circuits of your arm, again.” You teased and Anakin glared at you while Fives and Hardcase tried to cover their laughter with a fit of coughing.

“Anyways!” Anakin turned the conversation away from his beloved Resolute and his bad luck with his hand, gesturing to the ARC trooper. “This is Echo.”

You allowed for the change in topic, outstretching a hand to shake Echo’s firmly, “Nice to meet you Echo.”

“Likewise General.”

“I’m Fives!” The other ARC trooper jumped forward offering his hand as well as a half witted smirk.

You only chuckled, shaking his hand as well, “Nice to meet you too Fives!”

You greeted each man asking for their names, taking no assigned number as an answer, and leaving each trooper with a smile. A sweet haze clouded the minds of the 501st men as they watched the new General weave her way through the company. Your energy unlike anything the men had ever encountered.

With the guidance of General Skywalker, you were finally pointed back in the direction of the pile of debris Rex now stood patiently in front of, the same debris you had emerged from, “This is my first in command, Captain Rex.”

Your head pivoted to look at the mortified Captain, your comfortable smile stretching into a smirk.

“Oh I do believe we’ve had the pleasure.”

Your words did not attempt to hide your slyness and your eyes twinkled with a familiar mischievousness. Rex’s face warmed in abashment as he gripped the back of his covered neck, “Uh, sorry about that General.”

A light laugh slipped out from the Jedi who only shook her head, “Not a problem Rex, I’ll admit my civvies hide my true origin quite well.” As you dismissed his apology your free hand removed the tattered cloak concealing most of your figure revealing the familiar robes worn by the Jedi. Although a rich blue tunic served as a sharp contrast against the muted browns, brought out even more by the silver toned armor protecting your shoulders and torso.

Rex nodded silently, not trusting himself to be able to form a coherent sentence as his mind replayed the way his name had dripped from your lips with such liveliness. Through the tinted visor of his bucket all he could do was stare at you, the familiar weight of his blasters in his hands dissipated into nothing, the weight of the war slipping away for a moment. It was unfamiliar, especially to a man bred for war, but Rex could only surrender to it’s cosmic power.

“Speaking of, did you gather the intel?” Anakin's expression turned serious, his question slicing through the tension.

Your eyelashes fluttered as you blinked away your own daze, face quickly mirroring Anakin’s.

“Got what I could.” Your opposite hand extended outward to reveal a data chip cradled in your gloved palm. “Damn seppies only had a select amount of outposts and droid factory locations stored, a smart move for once.”

Anakin sighed but gently took the chip from your hand, “It’s something.” You two shared a hesitant smile, bother eager for this war to be waged and won.

“Sorry to interrupt Generals but we’ve spotted incoming on the North side of the city.” Jesse cut in handing a pair of binocs over to his Captain. Rex pulled his gaze away from the Jedi to look through the binoculars to confirm that they had a cluster of droids closing in on their location just a few parsecs away on the other side of the bridge and already destroyed clankers, courtesy of General Skywalker and the brothers of the 501st.

“He’s right General, seem to be closing in quickly too.” At his confirmation, Rex felt another set of eyes on him but he could not surrender to them again so he held onto General Skywalker who nodded in response to his Captain.

“Thank you Jesse, Artoo!” Anakin called out for the notorious little blue droid that rarely ever left his side. A chorus of enthusiastic beeps were heard as the blue droid appeared out from behind his own shelter of rubble.

“Hey buddy, I need you to take this.” General Skywalker handed his astromech the data chip recovered by you for safekeeping and the small mechanical arm of Artoo’s took it happily.

“I already sent my commander a backup of the intel, just in case.” You added with a light shrug.

“Where is Commander Glitch?”

“Glitch is still on the Dawnfire, instructing the dispatched companies. We got fighters supporting in the aerial confrontation and there are two groups entering from the west and the south to converge on our location.”

Anakin’s eyes flickered over to Rex, both men sharing an impressed nod, the 481st already living up to their standards.

You moved past Anakin towards Artoo, eyes dancing between the incoming clankers and the droid, “I also believe you have something of mine, given to you by one of my men, Webs?”

Artoo chirped and his body shook a little, the small opening on the top of his domed head opening. Something long and narrow shooting out, followed shortly by another, you catching each item with a comfortable ease.

“Thanks Artoo, it’s good to see you too!”

Rex surveyed as you gripped the two identical black and silver lightsabers, fingers brushing against the smooth durasteel with a distinct intimacy that could only come from years spent mastering the use of the weapon. With a stroke of your fingers, the lightsabers ignited a bright blue and a sharp green.

“So,” You twirled the two lightsabers eyeing the marching battalion of droids, “how do you want to play this?”

Anakin was quiet for a moment before raising an eyebrow and that comfortable smirk of his fell onto his face, Rex was well acquainted with the face that made rash decisions. “Do you remember the negotiations on Lothal we were sent to supervise during our padawan days?”

You groaned, head falling back dramatically, it seemed you were familiarized with the General’s intriguing way of accomplishing things too. Your head rolled over onto your left shoulder to stare up at your longtime friend, “That maneuver will never work.”

As you spoke, a blast whirled by followed shortly by another and then another. The rain of fire quickly restoring the bridge to the battlefield it once was.

General Skywalker was hasty in reigniting his own saber, “We’ve got nothing to lose!”

“Oh, just our lives and perhaps the war!” Your words did not reach Anakin though as he took off running toward the awaiting battle, flanked by the rest of Torrent. A soft groan escaped your mouth before you turned to Rex, “You got my six Captain?”

He looked down ensnaring your eyes with his own, not that you would have known, and gave a curt nod.

“Always General.”

His words brought a bright smile to your face and Rex mimicked you from beneath the safety of his helmet, saving the sight and burning feeling inside for later when the shooting had seized and he could freely dissect what it was that he felt at this very moment.

With that the Captain of the 501st spun his blasters in his hands before the two of you raced into the war zone side by side.

Rex swallowed thickly, eyes scrunching close in an attempt to focus back on his current reality. His gloved hands were secured tightly around the sides of the ladder, one foot perched on the lowest step. Slowly he unfolded each finger wrapped around the bar, each finger crying out with an unbearable stiffness from the intensity of his restraint. The blonde clone groaned lowly as he flexed his cramped hands, amber eyes drifting around to catch sight of the Togruta watching him expectantly from the gunner seat in the Y Wing.

Rex quirked up an eyebrow, silently questioning what she was looking at him for, Ahsoka only letting out a small hum.

“I asked if you were okay.” She repeated, her voice soft and still uneasy as if the ground below her threatened to give out any moment. Her question made Rex inhale roughly, shaky coughs following as he recalled only hours ago when she had asked him the same question, when she had saved him, when he had shot his brothers to save her.

He attempted to clear his throat, hoping any remnants of the discomfort within would slip away as easy as the tickle in his throat. But he knew it was hopeless, the pain of the past, present, and the future made itself known with a biting sting in his heart. Something he knew would stay with him, perhaps until death, especially with the uncertainty that lied ahead of him. He never asked the Maker for much, but kriff did he hope you were okay.

Rex knew it would be useless to try and lie to his long time Commander and friend, so instead he stayed silent choosing to focus on climbing into the pilot seat.

Because Rex was not okay, he was far from it.

Ahsoka did not ask again, rather shifting the conversation to the one of dire importance.

“Do you know where they were?” Her voice cut through the speaker in the cockpit and Rex sighed, sinking into his seat, a hand roughly rubbing his brow in the privacy of the pilot seat. He did not want for her to accompany him on this trip, but it was hard to fight Ahsoka, she was too stubborn. Something she had no doubtedly gotten from -

Rex cut off the train of thought, banishing the name that formed in his thoughts. He was not ready for the possible grief that would follow, not until he knew of your fate. He could barely handle the searing hot anguish tearing him apart, he did not want to double it.

“Heading back from the outer rim sieges, last I heard…” Rex trailed off, eyes prickling with unshed tears.

“Commander huh? Commander Rex has a nice ring to it, but you’ll always be my Captain.”

It was the last he had heard from you, just before the ships had left for Mandalore. He had not heard your voice in far too many rotations and the slight buzz of the hologram had been enough to give him some peace of mind. You had told him that the 481st and you would be sent back to Coruscant soon for rest and refuel, secretly hoping that the stars would align and perhaps the two of you would arrive back home at the same time.

A hope he had shared.

Such ignorance…

Rex was grateful for the seat beneath him because Maker, he could not support himself, could not breathe at the thought of something happening to you. And with each settling minute, each heavily taken breath Rex could feel the unease settling into his soul, something was wrong.

He was not Force sensitive but he could feel it in the air, could taste it on his tongue. Something bad had happened. He just hoped the stars had not claimed you yet, taking back their fallen star that had slipped through their fingers and graced his existence. There had not been enough time, he needed more time.

Through the small speaker, a rhythmic tapping mixed with the electrical hum of life broke through the stale silence surrounding him and Rex sighed dragging a coarse glove over his face in an attempt to get rid of the dampness that had gathered.

A clone bred to not fall ill, to have endurance in the battlefield, to strategize an outcome to any problem, and keep up with the Jedi was not meant to be crumbling in despair.

But he was also a clone bred to be surrounded by death and Rex knew better than anyone that death did not discriminate. It always took the good ones.

“It seems that their last reported location was coming out of hyperspace in the Abrion sector.” Ahsoka’s voice cut into Rex’s gloom and the soldier abruptly stuffed his pain down, needing to focus on the task at hand. A feeble facade of the clone Captain he once was, was stretched thinly over a breaking man.  

“Abrion?” His eyebrows furrowed, “How do you know that?”

The static of the speaker died down, “ Um, hacked into the Cruiser's main datapad. Most sister ships share locations.”

Rex nodded slowly to himself, the Dawnfire and the Resolute did often work closely together along with the Negotiator. The three ships were often referred to as sisters because of it.

“Abrion.” He whispered to himself still confused. The Captain was well informed on many of the Star systems and it was why he was deeply perplexed. You were not supposed to be out there…

“That system is part of the Outer Rim territories, they were supposed to be well on their way unless… ” Rex trailed off staring blankly at the panels before him, his finger dragging slowly across the schematics of the Dawnfire projected onto the small screen.

“... unless you never made it that far.” His voice was no louder than a whisper, the terror welling up inside of him.

What was that last part?” Ahsoka questioned through the speaker. Rex was quiet as he casted one last glance out the viewport to the settling smoke of the cruiser and swallowed thickly, a silent goodbye shared between him and his lost brothers.

“Setting course for the Abrion system. Buckle up kid.”

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