𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

maude: daily reminder that you're my favorite human being and that i like, love you so much, sis.

syd: ugh, i needed your little ray of sunshine today, my darling. what would i do without you?

It should have been obvious to Dylan that what he’d done wasn’t going to blow over so well, but the good mood he’d been in must have blinded his logic as he genuinely felt surprised over how upset the pretty girl became. That being said, this became one hell of a rage against him. “Fuck, I’m sorry, seriously! I didn’t do it on purpose.” He knew that wasn’t going to make it any better, especially not if he was going by the look in the other’s eyes. There was no way he could convince her it was an honest mistake in that moment. It didn’t matter, though. One surprise after another came quickly when he felt the weight of her push against his chest, nearly becoming embarrassing at how comical it was for him to be thrown back into the pool so easily. “What the fuck-” flew out of Dylan’s mouth before he was consumed by water, quickly swimming up to the surface and pushing his hair away from his face so he could watch as the blonde rampaged away. “Holy shit,” he whispered to himself, his eyes never leaving her until she was entirely out of sight. There was actually something mesmerizing by the way she reacted, a laugh leaving his lips as he thought about seeking her out later that night after the storm passed. “She’s a fuckin’ trip, yeah?” It was all he could say to the random people standing next to him in the pool. 

As soon as she was in the safety of the closed elevator doors, Syd’s cheeks flooded pink with embarrassment. It was one thing to act like that at work, when the words were written on the page and she was channeling her fictional alter ego; but pulling a stunt like that in a public place and on a poor, unsuspecting and - if she was being honest with herself - devilishly handsome stranger…that was a whole other thing entirely. She had recognized Dylan amidst her phony freak out but had never been formally introduced and she doubted she would register on his radar at all. Syd didn’t leave her room for hours, not as the skies turned gray and the clouds rolled in, not as the lightning struck or the wind howled. Instead, she hid under her covers and sat alone in her humiliation. It wasn’t until the storm had passed that she obeyed her grumbling stomach and left her little sanctuary in search of food or drink. Sliding into a stool at the bar, the blonde ordered spring rolls and a rum and coke, fully annoyed that she had left a stupid blog ruin a whole day of her vacation. She would have to find Dylan later to apologize and pray that he would at least hear her explanation…little did she know that moment would be coming much sooner than later.

pmd: oh god, not the green light. you've given me way too much power.

pmd: gonna set it as my lockscreen & purposely flash it round so people think i've won at life.

pmd: i'm on one of the beanbags by the pier bit. this is me POST-SUN thank you very much, this is discrimination against ghouls, we just don't tan a'ight.

pmd: where are we going first ?? i'm afraid.

sydney_sweeney: i trust that you'll wield your power properly

sydney_sweeney: alright, maybe that trust was misplaced.

sydney_sweeney: a week here is NOT long enough for you, ghoul boy.

sydney_sweeney: i thought we could take a paddle board out and just chill on the water. nothing scary!

Nothing was more embarrassing in that moment than the way Dylan absolutely couldn’t twist a top off a bottle of sunscreen, cursing to himself along with laughing as he questioned why it couldn’t just have a pop top. “Andre the giant came back just to make sure no one opened this bitch..” While talking to himself, Dylan started pacing around poolside as he worked on it, a nightmare quickly approaching as the grip he had on the bottle battled against him. With the top finally twisting off, he forgot to ease the hold with his other hand and caused a fountain to spray out, subsequently covering the pretty girl he inadvertently walked up to as he was pacing, ropes of sunblock getting all over her swimwear. “Oh fuck, I am so sorry.” @ayysyds​

Something about being in the sunshine, in a bikini, without a care in the world or anyone to answer to had Sydney living her best life and feeling like a Hot Girl Summer in February. After waking up at 6am just to stake out the very best pool cabana with optimal sun exposure and minimal shade, Syd had lounged around and achieved her goal of drinking, eating, and swimming her day away. Standing to go get her strawberry daiquiri freshened up, the blonde was suddenly assaulted by a projectile, something white and creamy hitting her chest and face. “What the--” While this would have been something she would normally laugh off or turn into something sexual and flirtatious, the gossip blog’s dare flashed across her mind. 

“What the actual fuck?! Did your mother drop you on your head? It’s not that hard to open a fucking sunscreen bottle! It’s not fucking rocket science!!” Syd screamed, snatching the now open bottle, snapping it closed, and then ripping it open just to prove her point. She wondered if she’d done enough to keep the blog from doing whatever it would do were it not satisfied by her little Cassie-esque performance. “Grow a brain, dumbass,” she yell, loud enough to be heard, before her small hands found his chest and she pushed hard, causing the brunette man to tumble backwards into the pool. “Anyone else feel like fucking up my day?!” As she stormed away, Syd made sure to smack a few glasses off of tables as she passed, glass shattering in her wake.

lex: um, guess it'll have to be by the time i'm through with you 💁

lex: you don't even wanna know what i think about the fact you felt like you need to apologize. but whatever, girly was going through it. awkward with jake or awkward with maia? bc if jakey's come out of rehab a changed man and suddenly doesn't like our company anymore i'm gonna throw shit.

lex: l i t e r a l l y so much hotter. i know that makes me sound like a witch for admitting it, but you get it. the rush i get whenever i call him & he comes to my side instead of being at hers? it's like, everything a narcissist could want. and the sex becomes out of this world.

lex: i...we haven't really spoken about it. should i want that?

syd: don't make promises you can't keep, babes 🌚🌝

syd: awkward with jake. idk what if he's mad at us or blames me for him landing in rehab and almost tanking his entire life? if i stay away, at least i can remain in naive bliss.

syd: biiiitch, go off queen 👸🏽 we might be terrible people but we're soulmates for all of eternity. i get it and i get you

pmd: okay thanks for the permission bc i went back to it a few times & now i don't feel like i need to head down to the confession booth anymore. my hands stayed where i can see them, i promise.

pmd: i've had too many poolside beers to work out if you're requesting a picture of those chicken legs or not. instructions unclear. steamy leg picture incoming in 3...2...

sydney_sweeney: hey man, if a pic is sent from me, feel free to do with it what you'd like.

sydney_sweeney: no non no no

sydney_sweeney: oH GOD. MY EYES.

lex: what's that saying...? 'when in vietnam'? i'm sure that's what they say.

lex: framing that & giving it to jake for his birthday to keep him humble.

lex: speaking of, we should take our giraffe out for a walk one of these days, let him blow off some steam.

lex: okay firstly, your ahs knowledge is better than you give yourself credit for. secondly, girl RIGHT? he plays a total dilf in the most recent season and i think i remember approaching him at some party around april time to tell him so but he totally blew me off & didn't seem interested...then i realised he was there with his wife. then we kept unintentionally going to the same events - and sometimes he was there without her. so we got to talking. and i gotta credit the guy, he held out for a long time. especially as it was obvious i was down bad. but then there came a night where he didn't, and well...we never really looked back.

lex: believe me, i've been GAGGING to tell you, but i was worried about what you'd think of me. i should've known you're a true ride-or-die bestie.

syd: that's not a saying. but we should make it one.

syd: pls, i miss u guys. i...haven't seen him since...he left. i apologized to maia before we got here but do you think it'll be awkward?

syd: i don't know a man in america that could hold out forever once you've got your sights locked on something you want. and trust, i get how the forbidden tension makes it so much hotter. and if you're happy, i'm happy for you.

syd: i love you to the fucking moon, my angel, no matter what. the only thing i worry about is you getting hurt. i'll have to rip out the throat of any man who makes my baby girl cry and even if you instigated this, he's not exempt.

pmd: i'm...looking respectfully, i swear.

pmd: hyper fixated on the 'send memes' t-shirt. i didn't even NOTICE you weren't wearing pants, your honor.

pmd: https://tinyurl.com/2p8bnr55

sydney_sweeney: you could look a little disrespectfully, if you want

You all didn’t stop to wonder who is paying for this trip did you? It’s my treat to you, to apologize for my absence.  Now that you’re here, we can play again. 

Truth or dare?

Vietnam has me feeling bold. Dare. Do your worst, bitch.

pmd: [ replied to your post ] https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ2GLP2LlfU/

pmd: i'm reporting this

pmd: under 'sales and promotion of drugs'

pmd: bc i had to get fried just to forget about it

sydney_sweeney: what? you don't want me to be your lil 🌞

sydney_sweeney: how bout i be your lil 🌚 instead?

alexa: somehow not with you and i, yet. 😏

alexa: the noise that just left my mouth. i'm sure the great danny devito wouldn't have taken any offence to his being the face you were thinking of while getting your titty sucked. forget everything else, that's probably his greatest achievement.

alexa: girly, if it were sarah paulson i would've already sold the story to all the gossip sites just because i would've been so proud. but alas, tis not sarah. if i said the motherfucker who looks like he could've been a classic hollywood hearthrob up there with the likes of rock hudson & marlon brando? not the one who seems like he's on crack & blew emma roberts. but the one who on-screen blew lady gaga.

alexa: [ IMAGE ATTACHED ] https://data.whicdn.com/images/340541505/original.jpg

alexa: *insert tik tok sound* i...love this man. and i have to have him.

syd: the fact that it hasn't is a hate crime. we should just check it off the bucket list already, babyyy.

syd: look, he's a legend, there's no debating that. and given the choice between him and jake for a round two? i'd probably have to go with my short king.

syd: Tristan Duffy?! Rudolph Valentino?!! Bobby Richter II!!?!? Dandy Mott!!! Jether Polk!!!!!!!

syd: babe. lex. BABE.

Please use them as you need, I’m sure it takes all your energy trying to channel this new side of Cassie. I didn’t see any of this coming at all and have been a little gobsmacked watching this season so far. A normal person would probably be more worried that their boyfriends mouth was on someone elses tit but I was mostly just concerned about everyones mental state after shooting this season. On those terms.. I accept yours too. Life has a funny way of changing on dime doesn’t it? But if Jake’s taught me anything it’s that even the most broken things can be put back together and become stronger. I wouldn’t wish any of this on even my worst enemy. No one on the planet should have to battle addiction or have to watch someone they love fight for their life and sobriety. I just hope no one else we know or love every goes through something like this. Jacob loves you Syd, your friendship means a lot to him. He needs you too. Maybe on the trip you and Lex and Maude can take him out. I don’t know, rent boat for the afternoon or something. Remind him that we’re not all walking on egg shells around him, give him a taste of normal life again. I know he’d love it!

The intensity was definitely upped a few levels. Jake didn’t warn you? What an ass! Oh my god, stop, don’t remind me, pleaaase. I was just telling Lex today that I still have nightmares about it. We for sure had to check in on each other and have our therapists on speed dial but I’m proud of the finished product. At least it was all worth it, right? That’s really beautiful, Mai. A great way to look at it and a good lesson to learn from such an ordeal. You guys have a whole tribe of friends just waiting to help you both whenever you might need some lifting up. We’re not gonna let him backslide every again, Mai, promise. Yeah, that’s a great idea! I’ll talk to them and see if they’re up for a little mini cast reunion. We won’t keep him away from you for long though. Unless Mama’s looking for a few hours of peace and quiet in that case, we’ll keep him entertained as long as you want. Anway, thanks for answering. I really wanted to get this worked out before the trip so we could have some fun and not have this hanging over us. I’ll see you on the beach, hot stuff! Talk to you later, love you friend.