the absolute fucking worst part of this is that by not actually posting today is that I have to wait until Tuesday because both 8.25.24 and 8.26.24 look unappealing to me and I have a Thing about numbers
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the absolute fucking worst part of this is that by not actually posting today is that I have to wait until Tuesday because both 8.25.24 and 8.26.24 look unappealing to me and I have a Thing about numbers

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hjacob final sprint!
12:29 pm starting time
9.9k word count
0/28 pages edited
0/28 pages of paper edits applied
0 scenes added
background noise: ATEEZ Treasure Film Ep. 1
lolololol just got caught up in a fuckton of corydora156 detail ironing
but!
finally starting my first 50min sprint!
so last month I started with a new therapist (prev one had changed facilities, took a while to get scheduled with a new one), and sessions have been about 75% exposition on Everything (starting a new therapist after having one for years is kiiiiiiinda inconvenient) and then 25% therapy'ing on those elements;
and so on this thursday session, I brought up my issues of how I don't like to Take Up Space; and while I didn't bring it up in session, I thought about how it applied to my fic writing - or more specifically, my fic posting; I do not like to Take Up Space, but if I do, things must be Perfect;
but it's like
this is kpop fanfic
I have been in the fanfic rodeo for over two decades, I am confident in saying that, at a bare minimum, my writing is good
if I pour time and effort and love (and edit a few drafts), does what I post really have to be Perfect... or can it just be what it is?
which is all to say, so long as all the scenes are written, even if there are parts that I think are a few edits away from being Perfect, I am getting this first chapter up today
okay, it's okay, I've reordered a few things, it feels right, it's going to be less bulky, and read better, and also get finished sooner

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also, current word count: 2195
I am very curious as to what the final word count will be;
my estimate for a while has been 2.5k
and y'know, I think that'll actually be pretty accurate?
we shall see!
3/9 pages edited;
I am going to keep the date as 6/14 even though it'll be approx 2am on the 15th where I am when I post it, Because I Can;
also, fuck exposition, but I am so glad at how little the final draft will have
me: I got this
grief: ..................................... :)
me: ..........................................................nevermind gonna go cry in a corner
godddddddddddd writing a giftfic with a sex scene for a not-quite friend whose fic I haven't read because they write idol-canon and/or ships I don't ship and im like................. why have I set myself up like this
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.........................

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like..............
this isn't going to be a Popular Fic by any metric..............
but I've written one of the best dialogue bits In A While for me,
and I'll have to come to terms with it not being read
for the record, it was late at night and I had forgotten that I had been working on my paper copy of the timeline
...............................there is a chance that I somehow deleted timelining that I worked Quite Hard To Figure Out and I am going to riot
i found two stacks of fic notes
i knew they were somewhere but hadn't been actively searching for them because i got too frustrated last time, and then i just happened upon them, and am just
adfasfadsfasdfasd thank god
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
section 1: 2.4k, done
section 2: 162w, done
section 3: 114w, done
section 4: 326w, done
section 5: 1.3k, done
section 6: 438w, done
section 7: 418w, done
section 8: 5,000 ON THE DOT, DONE!

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section 8 broken down:
4633w final
25w sentence/transition - in prog
41w final
156w paragraph - in prog
50w final
NINETY-SIX PERCENT DONE
FIC IS ONE-HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-ONE WORDS AWAY FROM BEING FINISHED
I have surpassed 10k
section 1: 2.4k, done
section 2: 162w, done
section 3: 114w, done
section 4: 326w, done
section 5: 1.3k, done
section 6: 438w, done
section 7: 418w, done
section 8: at 4.8k ; 4,351 done - section 89% done!!!