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You know that story about a motorcycle gang that, essentially, adopts child abuse victims? Like, they go to court with them, stand guard outside their houses, and even make them little jackets?
Imagine Jason, who didn't have the best childhood, who always looks out for the kids of crime Alley (enough so one of his huge rules is "don't deal to kids or I deal with you") and his people catch onto this, yknow
Yeah. That's Red Hood gang fs.
Some of them are only there because Red Hood is the new top dog, sure, but some are also there because they like working under Red Hood. He's really not a terrible guy once you get past the 8 heads in a duffle bag!
And so I think, it wasn't Red Hood himself that started going to child abuse court cases and standing guard around their house at night first, but rather his men. It wasn't something he ordered them to do, and it wasn't ever explicitly brought up, but I Red Hood seamlessly integrated this new little division into his Crime Lord activities.
There was a schedule for who was on Crime stuff, and who got to beat the shit out of little Maxwell's abusive shitbag dad.
either preteen/teen Peter making friends with RH's gang before any of the bats (civilian or Kevlar clad otherwise) on total accident
On accident bc his spidey sense tells him when dangers coming and if he should run or not so when these guys decked out head to toe with weapons and tattoos tell him to, and i quote, "scram kid" meanwhile his 6th sense is fairly certain they'd fight the entire GCPD if he told them they stole his lunch makes for some confusing whiplash
And its not like they ever actually chase him off when he occasionally ends up in the same shady spot they hang around playing poker in their down time (sometimes they feed him too like hes a stray dog or smth)
They even deal him in on poker sometimes but he sucks and they never make him cough up the absurd amounts of money he raises every turn
"Hit me!"
"This aint blackjack, kid"
"Oh. What are we playing then??"
"Texas Hold'em."
"Can we play gold fish instead? I know how to play that one better. Gonna take all your money :)"
"Its called "go fish" not— ugh fine, whatever"
Spoiler: peter doesnt know how to play go fish either and just makes up a bunch of rules so he wins
Hes like their therapy dog
He comes in, sometimes at 7am, sometimes at 11pm, and sometimes at 4am. Theyre very disappointed when hes not in bed by 10pm. Hes a moral booster.
Eventually more street kids (specially crime ally kids) hang around more and more and they turn into some glorified baby sitters club
When red hood comes around hes like a celebrity jungle gym (peter pioneered it)
At some point the Big Bad Bat hears that a bunch of kids are hanging around criminals and tries to either investigate or interfere (idk it'd depend on how nice im feeling towards Bruce's feelings at the time)
One of two options:
1. Shit hits the wall crazy style and he and jason have a (yet another) falling out (obvi peter accidentally ends up eavesdropping and he probably tries to fix it and makes it worse) OR
2. Silent heartwarming moment for bruce by himself seeing Jason surrounded by a community but def still some interaction w peter bc I live for sassy shit peter and sad tired wet dog of a man bruce
Peter convincing the batfam that he's a Literal Cryptid by using the Iron Spiders mechanical spider legs (tweaked to look more organic) and it literally driving Tim up the wall. Like. They're tweaking SO hard. There's a giant humanoid spider fighting crime.
Halloween special where Werewolf Jason x chronically low blood sugar (hypoglycemic) Peter except none of the werewolf angst and Jason is just a glorified service dog and he can tell when Peter's blood sugar is crashing
Jason: youre cranky because your blood sugar is low
You're not even a Spiderman blog, you're a writer! And even if you were a Spiderman blog, since when are superheroes not political???, it's still your blog and you get to talk about whatever you want. And honestly, just existing is political enough these days. We have to talk and we have to stand up for each other.
The entire existence of comics is political! ART and READING and BREATHING is political! The fact that I even GET TO WRITE is political!! I'm so tired of the "it's not that deep" mentality running rampant ! YES, your English teacher asked you why the curtains are blue. BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN OPINION!! You HAVE to think deeply and question the universe! I literally never heard the end of "That's just how the world is." And "That's just how it goes" and it INFURIATED ME as a kid and it infuriates me to this day. If there is an injustice, we are are supposed to FIX IT. The fact that I can say, "Every human being has a fundamental right to a home, water, food, and an education" and some fuck ass is gonna get mad at me for it????
Spider-Man wouldn't support misogyny, racism, homophobia, or literally any other kind of hate speech.
So why would he support the IDF or the modern day nazi facist regime taking over? He wouldn't. And if you like Spider-Man you shouldn't either
He is an inherently political character if you pay attention. You cant have a character who is "good" and then be afraid of what an actually good person would think and do
Idk man. Ppl who complain that "youre just a spiderman blog why are you getting politcal" are ignorant
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Peter wearing shirts inside out on purpose bc the seams drives him absolutely NUTS (like my sock seams oneshot lol)
He constantly told "hey your shirt inside out!" And a piece of him dies everytime it happens (still better than seams)
Damian is the one that does it the most fs and steph says it just to bug him
The only time he wears shirts normally is when he wears thermals under his shirts/in winter bc he NEEDS that buffer between the shirts seams or he'll start screaming. Oh but i hear you "Wouldnt the thermals have seams too??" You ask? Probably.
BUT theyre better than the shirt seams bc he loves his cheesey science pun shirts and theyre def cheap and bad quality so he compromises with accidentally good fashions sense
Which leads into how I ADORE peter in long sleeves (thermals that look like nkrmal long sleeves) under normal graphic tees bc its just so perfect for him (we love no thermo regulation here) also j just think its such a cute combo, hence accidentally having good taste despite the shitty science pun offending the world
I never imgine him in anything else besides the spider suit tbh
Like that just His Style and rotates like a cartoon MC with one outfit (which immediately negates his accidental good fashion choices)
I love looking through ppl who bookmark my fics on ao3 bc yall say some funny ass shit (bc that stuff is public if you didnt know lol)
WHICH AMAZING SEGWAY bc bookmarks are PUBLIC so (unless made private) and so I CAN unfortunately see when ppl put stuff like "read when finished" or "let simmer" (and one weird "better than expected" so judgement to them too)
Which idrc abt most of the time but this lowk applies to Manhwas, Manga, comics, novels, etc.
You cant not engage, not encourage, not comment, not give kudos on ongoing works and then get disappointed when the works arent finished fast or even dropped like?? It rubs me the wrong way when I see that on others ppls stuff
Youre not always gonna get a completed fic or comic, but that doesnt mean you shouldn't engage period
Plagued by the idea of Damian and Peter having "annoying sibling in the same age range who is completely different" syndrome (even if theyre just friends and not family)
But it MUST be accompanied with Peter calling Damian DW (literally just abbreviating Damian Wayne) bc I think they'd have the same dynamic lowk and Damian would HATE the nickname
Theyd lowk have the same dynamic too ngl
Peter (at Tim): maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this!
Damian: its ONLY children, Peter. A lonely child is what youre going to be when I sell you
—
Damian: Peter can I ask you a question?
Peter, in a good mood: of course!
Damian: why dont you go back to Richard's house and stop bothering us!
I may have said Peter calls Damian DW, not that Peter doesnt exude the aura of annoying younger brother bc he DOES
The only time Peter is even remotely cool and big brotherish is when you dont know him personally and I stand by that
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Older!Peter coming through a portal to fix younger!Peter bc hes glitching bc of conflicting cannon idk plot?? Maybe rebirth bc i like that more than deaging tbh
Younger!peter was non verbal and everyone is surprised at how chatty peter is at 15/16 (and super proud) (they seize the moment to ask older!peter questions and what they can do for him while hes non-verbal)
7 y/o Peter hiding in Bruce's cape bc its Safe and Dark and Not Loud, but its not even his family thats bejng loud, its someone saying hes him (Peter), but older? He doesnt get it, but his dad and and aunties and uncles get it. The guy in a spider suit says hes here to fix the pain he goes through, but he calls it "glitches" instead of chronic pain like Dr Leslie said.
Its just... hes so loud, and his jokes are so bad. Is that really Peter in the future?
16 y/o Peter: —and so when I was his age, I also came to fix the glitches, so basically if I dont id die. Its like...
Tim, snapping his fingers: a fixture point!
Peter, pointing: Yes, precisely uncle tim!
Dick, slowly: the chronic pain would... kill him? You?
Older Peter: its not chronic pain, its glitches in reality, dad. Keep up. Besides the asthma and glasses, we're totally healthy!
Older Peter: physically
Younger peter tugging on older Peter's suit, holding up his notepad for him to read. Older peter bends town to read thoughtfully
Older Peter: "what need?" What do I need to do?
Younger Peter nodding:
Older Peter, carefully: you still like spiders?
Younger Peter bursts into tears immediately, shaking his head frantically. Dick comes to scoop him up immediately, shushing him and rubbing his back soothingly.
Older peter, sighing: yeah, me too kid
Dick: what do spiders have to do with him? He hates... them...
Dick, staring at the spider emblem on his (future) son's suit:
Dick, firmly: No.
Older Peter, smiling sadly: afraid there's not much choice, dad
Older peter, pulling out a vial with a brightly colored spider crawling around. It was evidently not a natural occurring species
Older peter: the only way to stop them glitches and anchor me in this universe is this
Bruce, with furrowed brows: you cant live unless you get your powers from a spider?
Older Peter: man, you guys are always so quick with the deductions! Bht yeah, basically. Peter Parker always becomes Spider-Man.
Dick, defensive: his last name isn't Parker
Older Peter, smiling sadly: anymore.
Older peter holds his hand out to younger Peter: please? I designed this one, so its a lot better than last time
Younger Peter, hiccuping in Dick's arms. He stares and is hesitant, but eventually gives in.
Older peter cradles his hand, gently tapping the vial onto younger Peters palm until the neon spider falls out, agitated.
Eh done there tbh skipping aheadddd I got too absorbed in the lore lol
But basically the spider is the "anchor" point for peter? But there's no one to make the spider bc oscorp doesnt exist, so he has to manually make it. Which obviously doesnt explain how he makes it to 16 in order to make it, come back, allow himself to get bit, and thus live, which i love the mystery behind that leave a theory idea
—+—
Dick, extremely serious: peter... while we have you...
Older peter mentallt preparing his "i cant tell you about the future" speech the Flash basically burned intl him: hmm? Yeah wassup
Dick, fiddling: can you please—
Older peter blurting out: —I cant tell you about the future
Dick: —tell me what are bad foods and which ones you like?? You cant keep eating Dino nuggets... Alfred's pride can only take so many blows
Older Peter: oh. That is not what I expected... but you've come to the right man
A board materializes behind him with two categories "good food" and "bad food"
Older peter: listen well and listen good! Slimy, greasey, and otherwise Bad Textured food can be found here, here, and here.
Damian, taking notes and raising his hand: do pickles fall under this category?
Peter, answering seriously: no, pickles are the sole exception, of course.
Tim, also raising his hand: how come mashed potatoes are a "maybe"?
Peter: I dont like if there's chunks in there. Creamy smooth 'taters are the only way.
Bruce: so at what age do you stop ordering chicken tenders and fries everytime we go to a nice restaurant?
Peter laughs openly: never. Next
Dick: any bad drinks?
Peter: sparkling water. Pulp in juice especially. And, uhhh, alcohol too
Dick raising an eyebrow: i thought you said you were 16?
Peter raising an eyebrow back: you want this cheat sheet or not dude
Dick: I apologize
Peter: thats what I thought
Peter: Anyways moving onto Why Socks With Seems Suck and which textures to avoid
A tutorial for a workskin that allows you to make text messages that look similar to IOS messages!
I made this tutorial in January but it only recently occurred to me to post it here on tumblr. It basically looks like IOS messages and you can scroll through the messages like you’re scrolling on a phone. It works with LADS emojis as well.
As you can see from the GIF, the emojis are animated, not still images. The skin can also display still images if you’d like.
I hope this skin can be helpful to anyone who’s writing text fics!
The bats are on patrol and it's a pretty slow night. Doesn't mean it's quite, not with the ongoing banter that's taking place in the comms.
It's mostly just Dick, egging the others on their relationship status and Tim was just about done with him, he'd like to be left alone thank you very much, like:
Dick: Tim. Come on. There's nobody? Not even a little date?
Tim: There's nobody, there's no time, and I wouldn't know what to do with a relationship if I had one. Can we move on.
Dick: You'd figure it out—
Tim: How, Dick? I'm running four cases, I average on two hours of sleep, and I'm currently crouched on a rooftop in 30 degree weather. I'm not exactly in a position to meet someone. They'd have to literally fall out of the sky—
A glowing orange portal rips open above Gotham. There is exactly one second of stunned silence before—
"OH COME ON—"
A guy plummets thirty feet before slamming into the pavement a few feet away from Tim.
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Peter being rlly far away from smth and the batfam are freaking out and hes like "chillax bro I can make it" and hes like a full 2 minute dead print from Cass (their fastest besides peter) and they are losing their MARBLES
Que peter busting out w his (forgettable but canon) enhanced speed (think it tops out at like 250-300???) And fucjing. FLOORS it
But he can't, like, stop properly and he just. Slams into either a wall OR a super or smth
OR OR he is able to stop, but it literally melts his shoes and rips up his feet horrendously
Tims like "wtf peter!?! You didnt say you had super speed!?"
And peter, with his feet actively bleeding and smelling like burnt rubber from the friction of stopping, first priority is correcting tim
"Well, super speed is a bit of a stretch. Enhanced is more accurate because, like, the flash way is faster than me, yknow?"
Duke stares. "You... are aware hes literally the exception?"
