to preserve the stars

Light it Up – The first flame, the spark that started the wildfire. Does it burn with resistance or regret? Does one turn to the other? Or does the ash that it all crumbles into at the end make it futile?

2. Cobbled together – Rushed and misaligned. Is it the torture itself, or whatever mishap follows? Maybe you didn’t need somebody’s help to be like this in the first place.

3. Mirror – The reflection that haunts you, the trapped representation of all your flaws, or the shine-facing proof of what you could’ve been.

4. Beyond – Is there one? Does it bring peace, or pain? Should it be dreaded, or sought? Or maybe you should be warned of it, of what lurks in that dangerous place of Other.

5. “Did it hurt?” – Naive concern, or sadistic mocking? A misplaced pickup line turns into a nightmare. Regardless, we all know it did, didn’t it?

6. Grotesque – Beauty or horror? To whom? What horrifies one might be the epitome of beauty for another. What’s beauty without pain and sacrifice? Where do we draw the line?

7. Lost – Where or when? Is it a person, a place? Do you need to be somewhere unfamiliar to be lost? Maybe its what you’ve seen all your life that becomes unknown.

8. Persistence – Repetition, stubbornness. Does it help, does it make it worse? Do you have a choice? They say to repeat the same mistake, always met with the same result is insanity, but you know better don’t you?

9. Let it go – Your life, your love, your friends, what came before. Or maybe the horror of it all. Can you ever truly leave it behind? Who are you without it?

10. “Please- just please” – A plea for mercy, for compassion. An empty one, maybe, looking up to an unforgiving universe, a god so far away or one with hands still dripping of the blood of your guts?

11. Behind bars – Freedom or capture? The impression of something better, but which of the two is it?

12. Scars – Reminders of failure or strength? Both, neither. Who held the handle of the knife, who’s hands clutched the blade as it came down unforgiving?

13. Sterile – The room, the tools, your life. Even after that smell haunts you, the siren call of the fake promise of safety and care. The enticing form of futile protocol.

14. Redemption – Yours, theirs. Does it matter when its demanded? Does it make the suffering worth it, does it cleanse the blood it spilled? Do the ends justify the means, when the bleed drips warm and the screams still ring?

15. “What have they done to you?” – Horrified, gleeful. It doesn’t matter when it’d damning all the same. You’ve been changed, gutted and repurposed.

16. The Hunt – The thrill, the chocking fear, the all encompassing rush of primal instinct. The instant before, when you know you’ve been caught and there is nothing to do but run, run until your lungs give out and your legs crumble and betray you.

17. Sacrifice – Willing, primed and promised, or torn and given? Is it a trade, a gamble or is something predestined? Will it ever bear the fruit it promised in sweet whispers?

18. Resistance is futile – It is, it always is. Things are the way they are, and you may run yourself ragged after some idealistic dream but you know better, don’t you? You’ve been told the truth all your life after all. Hope brings only regret.

19. Branded – Unequivocally. Forever. Iron sizzling on skin, marks that will never let you be somebody again. Always brought back to your lowest point, it doesn’t need to be physical to be there, mocking you.

20. “Don’t leave me here like this!” – Indignant, to hide the pain, the fear. The betrayal of loneliness, or maybe it begs for inclusion, consideration.

21. Last Hope – Feeble or undying, or maybe yet all on your shoulders. The weight of it crashing, an anchor in the sea of despair. Will you sink down with it?

22. Self Loathing – Maybe its what you did, what you are. Or maybe its what you failed to be or avoid. It burns, stains everything around it with the caustic knowledge of its truth.

23. Disgust – Visceral, instinctive, overpowering. Is it an action? A situation? Or maybe some lie finally uncovered?

24. Guilt – Slimy, just at the back of your throat. The pit in your stomach for what you’ve done or what you’ve missed. Who you failed. It’s hungry in it’s pursuit.

25. “How could you?” – Whispered in horror, chocked around blood, wheezed in one’s last moment. That’s always the question, isn’t it? How, how, how? Why, why, why?

26. Drowning – You can’t breath, there isn’t an up anymore. It’s all down, down deep and it fills your lungs, your mouth, your nose. It presses against the back of your eyes, replacing every bit of you.

27. Change – Unforgiving, undeniable. There is something different, something wrong that had to be pulled out or has been forced in. You’re unrecognizable.

28. Everything is a tool if you want it to be – How inventive the human mind is. How many inventions through the ages, advances and so much cruelty. Anything can buy you escape, time. Anything can hurt, if used in the right way.

29. Reversed roles – When the hunted becomes the hunter, the prey the predator, the victim the executioner. They say the abused become the abused, and the cycle is inescapable.