idk

RHAENYRA TARGARYEN in House of the Dragon 1.04 “King of the Narrow Sea”, 1.05 “We Light the Way”

why is it that when my sister is struggling my family bend over backwards to help her but when I finally manage to choke out that I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I can’t make myself continue living and functioning like I used to my mum just says hmm, maybe you should see someone about that, anyway I’m going to hang the washing out.

why is that not seen as a cry for help

when it’s her it’s like, what doctor can we get her to, what supplements can we get her on, can we help her cook or clean or some other way

and when it’s me it’s like… oh, what a shame… good luck with that I guess

like I can hear her watching tv and eating chips like I didn’t just tell her I’m not sure how to go on and that fucking hurts

not before crying while walking the dog around the block and collapsing in bed afterwards

we got there in the end but it will never not be frustrating to me that my first attempt to reach out is so often dismissed or overlooked until I’ve totally withdrawn and it can’t be more obvious