ོ fjölkynngi / fjǫturr

i’m    the    devil    on    your    shoulder    i’m    only    cold    ‘til    you    come    closer    when    you    strain    your    eyes    to    find    the    light    i    won’t    be    far    behind    ‘cause   it’s     better    in    the    dark    when    you’re    a    friend    of    mine

nobody    wants    to    be    alone

When I initially put this blog on hiatus, I wasn’t sure how long it would last because up to that point, I’d never been able to commit to putting Sigyn on hiatus.  She has been with me for 9+ years, and I am very attached to her.

However, she isn’t interested in coming out to play without her Loki, and if I’m being completely honest, it just wouldn’t feel right to write this version of Sigyn here without my main writing partner.  If/when I ever come back to this blog, Sigyn will be shipped exclusively with my main partner’s Loki.  I’m happy to write her platonically against any muses, but shipping will be closed and limited to just my main partner/friend.

He found it hard not to believe her. She was right if something would ever befall her he would know. They were connected some how, by what strange seidr he never knew but she was his only weakness and he tended to guard that secret closely.

That smile and laugh, no one could smile or laugh like her. It oft turned his melancholy mood to something more akin to delight. He sighed in defeat. She would win this time, as she did all the time. He gave her hand a light squeeze but was not surprised when it slipped from his hand.

He shook his head allowing her some time before he followed suite. How often had they played in these gardens as children or read under the trees on cool afternoons. How many stolen kisses were had as well? Perhaps Thor was right, perhaps his infatuation with the young Vanir had begun to weigh on his mind to heavily. Yet, Loki had never been as bold as Thor, always in his shadow. Sigyn was the one portion of his life that he had truly shone for.

         Laughter burst forth from her, echoing in the hall Sigyn sprinted through.  She could hear Loki in pursuit, gaining on her, and she picked up speed ever so slightly.  As she exploded out of the hall into the dazzling sunlight, she slowed her pace a bit, throwing an arm up to shield her eyes from the blinding glare.

Approaching the gardens, Sigyn again slowed enough for Loki to catch her, and the pair tumbled to the ground in a heap.  She gazed into his eyes, cupping his face gently, tenderly, and as he leaned in, presumably to capture her in a kiss, she quickly rolled away — just beyond reach — giggling breathlessly, winded from the exertion of the chase.

Lolling about in the soft grass, beneath the brilliant blue of a clear sky basked in the warm radiance of the sun and the fragrant blossoms surrounding them, Sigyn let out a long sigh.  Her hands wandered aimlessly, much like her thoughts.

Their conversation had perturbed her, and she had done the first thing that had come to mind in order to distract her — and Loki — from it.  She was his weakness.  Sigyn turned that thought over and over in her mind, and the more she did so, the more unsettled it left her.  Clearly, it was something often on his mind — his weakness.

Did he truly love her, for her — for who she was?  Or did he love the intricate and inexplicable ways their seidr seemed to intertwine, that feeling of pure power?  Or was he merely concerned about protecting his own vulnerability?  She knew him better than anyone, save for Frigga, though perhaps even better than her as well.  Did he only keep her close to prevent her from being exploited by an enemy, used against him in some way?  Even after all this time, Sigyn still wondered.

She loved him, of course, achingly so.  Utterly and completely and without even the slightest shadow of a doubt.  From the topmost strand of the fine hair on her head down to the very bottom of her toes, she felt her love for him, its burning intensity.

Pushing these thoughts away and burying them deep, Sigyn let her mind wander again.  After several moments of silence, she rolled her head to the side to gaze upon Loki, and whispered secretively, in a hushed tone reserved only for his ears.

❛ Sometimes, I still miss my home. ❜

It was no secret that Asgard was not Sigyn’s favorite place to be, but to voice such aloud, to confirm the unspoken, was unheard of.  But there was something about being there, in that garden — with Loki — that always loosened her tongue and opened her up until she spilled her deepest secrets.  Like a flower, blooming and exposing its innermost self to the world.

❛ There is something else I’ve been meaning to tell you. ❜

Sigyn hesitated, suddenly overcome with nervousness.  Her hands found their way to her stomach where they wrung anxiously.  She had been putting off mentioning this for weeks — after all, it had only been rumors that she’d heard, nothing definitive.  In truth, she thought it would have just gone away, but it hadn’t and now here she was.

❛ I have heard talk — whispers, really — that they– ❜ her voice broke as a lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed hard before continuing– ❛ that they are thinking of sending me back to Vanaheimr for a short while. ❜  That in and of itself wasn’t so bad.  It was the next part that caused her concern, and was therefore the most difficult to put to words, and so she chose them carefully.  ❛ I gather the intention of sending me there is so that they might find me a- a suitable husband. ❜

Her head turned sharply away from him.  She couldn’t bare to see how he’d react.  Sniffing quietly, she flopped a bit, somewhat dismissively, as if to shake off the bad feeling she had.

       From her initial reaction to look away, Hana got the impression that she did not appear as someone who intended to cause her harm. Nor did it seem as if she had a weapon with her, which reassured the maiden.

With her sword in her hand, she allowed it to remain pointed to her until she got hold of her tunic. Putting down the sword, she covered herself in an attempt to feel less exposed, to allow the woman’s gaze to return upon her.

❛ I do not take it that it had been your intention to meet me in such a state. ❜ Because in contrast to most, she seemed genuinely apologetic about it. Lowering her sword, she put on her pants and toed into her boots. ❛ Are you here for a reason      or was this merely coincidental? ❜

         ❛ Assuredly not! ❜  A nervous chuckle escaped her.

Sigyn was no longer certain exactly where ‘ here ’ was.  Had she, on her morning stroll, perhaps wandered through some invisible boundary and into another, unknown realm?  She didn’t recognize the patch of forest she was in, presently, though she could have simply strayed farther from her home than she’d intended.  She gazed hard at the woman, studying her — this woman was unfamiliar.

Carefully considering her query, Sigyn finally gave her answer.  ❛ I do not believe in coincidence, though neither am I here for any reason in particular. ❜  She laughed softly, her features shifting into a friendly smile.  ❛ I was simply out for a walk, lost in my thoughts. ❜

Having noted the way the woman expertly and deftly wielded her sword, her gaze drifted to the blade and then back up to the woman.  There was a teasing aspect to her smile now, as she quipped, ❛ Are you often under threat of violence to your person, or do you like to show that off to just anyone? ❜

tatteredsmiles:

“Oh it’s nothing really”, he said softly as he let her hand go. The slightest grimace being hidden made him wonder was his touch unwanted. Perhaps he should not have touched her hand. Perhaps she did not wish for his generosity?

“And make sure you keep all of it, I know some places perhaps make you split your tips between everyone. But that is solely for you”, he said wanting to make sure she kept it all. If she were anything as she once had been she had always been generous and never one to revel in riches or wish to. They had lived a meager life, oft times he’d worried that he had not given her the life she wished.

He nodded with a soft smile at the mention of the hectic day. Yes indeed it had been and he only wished he could have taken her away from it all. Before he could say something he looked in the direction she had. His jaw clenched slightly with irritation at the way her name had been called. The fire within him burning as he wanted to say something but this was her place of work and he would not make scene. Things were different.

He remained where he sat slowly sipping at the coffee he’d ordered as he watched her. He smiled at her when she leaned over to mutter about her break. He nodded mouthing okay before he watched her scurry off. Pie, there was almost something familiar about the taste of said pies almost as if her own touch was on them.

“No not at all”, he said as he looked at her. “You look tired, do they not have anyone else to help you while you’re in such condition?”, he asked as he eyed the pie she slid over. He chuckled as she pointed down to her swollen middle. Faint memories of her various cravings when she had carried his children surfaced.

He took her hand and gave it a soft squeeze. “So your name tag wasn’t lying,” he teased as he motioned to her name plate. “It’s nice to formally meet you Sigyn, I’m Loki”, he said hoping she would acknowledge him. Let him know that he wasn’t a fool for thinking he’d found her.

His conversation with her was polite and not intruding, there was a sadness though that he tried very hard to conceal. Oh how he wanted to just pull her to him, to hold onto her, to weep and bury his face in her neck and simply inhale her scent, how he missed her scent. Despite his wants he managed to maintain himself not wanting to scare her off.

         Sigyn didn’t know whether to take his remark as an insult, or as sympathy — and truth be told, she wasn’t sure which was worse.  Either way, looking tired was certainly no compliment.

❛ It’s really not so bad, ❜ she replied politely, ❛ Usually there are more of us, but we’ve had a few flaky ones recently, and I don’t mind the extra shifts. ❜  What she really meant was she didn’t mind the extra tips.  She needed that money for her baby.  ❛ I promise I’m a lot tougher than I look, even in my condition. ❜

Her free hand had come to rest on her swollen middle, even as she shook his hand.  Her baby jerked and gave a sudden start as their hands touched briefly.

❛ Loki, ❜ she repeated carefully, slowly, allowing the syllables to roll deliciously on her tongue.  There was another flurry of movement in her belly, and a spark of something just beyond her grasp lit her eyes for a split second before it was gone in an instant.

❛ That’s a nice name. ❜

Offering him a warm, kind smile, she returned to eating her pie.  She rubbed soothing circles over her middle, hoping to calm her baby, but it seemed the child was in a state of excitement that could not, or would not, be quelled.

She noticed how he kept the conversation light and nonintrusive, as though he were holding himself back from something, though whether it was from her or for another reason entirely, Sigyn wasn’t certain.  What she was certain about was the fact that there was a sadness about him, something deep and dark and heavy that lingered on him.  His smile, as beautiful as it was, held pain.  She could see that, plain as day.

It surprised her that it stirred something in her, made her feel for him.  She wasn’t one for getting overly attached to customers, as they were impermanent fixtures in her life and generally not worth the emotional investment.  Even with her regulars, Sigyn remained mostly detached.  She enjoyed their company and was comforted by the constancy and consistency of their presence, but she knew better than to assume true friendship.  Yes, some of them cared enough about her to ask questions and get to know her, but ultimately she existed to perform a service and that was the extent of the relationship.

But with this stranger, who she now had come to know as Loki, she felt something.  She didn’t quite know what it was, but it was there all the same.

Wanting to extend a kindness to him that she normally only extended to Julia, the one friend she’d managed to make here, she looked at him wide-eyed and curious, and asked, ❛ Do you have a favorite food?  I could have them make it for you, or. . .  I could make it for you myself. ❜

Tentatively, she reached out, and the tips of their fingers brushed.  At that slight contact, her baby gave a sharp, swift jab and she gasped involuntarily at the sensation.

Embarrassed, Sigyn blushed and looked over her shoulder, feeling a little ashamed.  She had been sitting down for longer than was strictly allowed, and she’d been indulging in acknowledging her pregnancy absolutely more than her manager permitted.  When she faced Loki again, she flashed him an apologetic smile.

tatteredsmiles:

After leaving N’s office he sighed. Of course he would end up probably having pissed off S but he did it for a reason. He didn’t want her to take risks in such things, he wanted her to be on the same page with him and if she was going to do something like that again he at least wanted her to tell him ahead so they could get the story straight instead of him getting looks from her during the entire thing.

He made his way down to their desks and noticed she’d already locked up and left. Normally they would have just finished out the work day and reported to the new assignments the next morning but it seemed to him that she was so eager to start her punishment. He plopped onto the seat of his desk and unlocked the drawer. Looking around he then moved aside some files to expose a hidden false bottom of the drawer.

Pressing his thumb to the small keypad he opened it and pulled out the file he’d hidden. He looked through it his eyes running over the words on the pages as well as various medical terminology. He was looking for certain patterns that had come back on her blood panel. It couldn’t have been what he’d expected it to be, the real reason why he had been in the bureau but there it was. It made him almost laugh, of all the places or inhabitants.

Putting the file back into the drawer he locked it back up and sighed. One of the wormlike creatures that seemed to be employed by almost all of the offices walked by he stopped stopped it inquiring where his partner was. Of course he had been right the whole time she’d of course had gone down to customs. With a sigh he grabbed his badge and went to the elevator.

The customs depository was a dark and dank place where things confiscated for further processing were stored. It honestly could make a great set for one of those B rated thriller movies if someone wanted to. The buzzing of the flickering bulb only set the atmosphere even more. He saw the way she seemed to sulk and turn her back to him.

“Look, I know you’re pissed off but we need to get some stuff straight. You can’t just go trying to take the blame and not tell me what you put in your report. If we’re gonna be partners we need to be on the same page. This here this sulking you’re doing I don’t like it. You should be happy he stuck us down here. Down here is where you can learn more than what you’ll learn on the street. This here? This is the first line of defense”, he said motioning to all of the various sized items.

         S tensed, stiffening at his words.  She felt a prickle of anger travel up and down her spine before branching out into the tips of her extremities.  Just as her fury was about to boil over, she reined it in.  Rather than whipping on him and spewing all the many hateful remarks that were coming to mind just then, or listing off the many, many things she didn’t like about him in retort to his comment about her ‘ sulking ’, S turned around again, slowly this time.  She fixed a falsely sweet smile on her face, one that absolutely did not reach her eyes, which reflected something cold and dark.  A few seconds passed and then she spoke again.

❛ You know what?  You are so right!  About it all — about everything!  What an opportunity I’ve been given, getting assigned down here — and assigned to you, ❜ she lied through her teeth.  Her pleasant, placating tone just barely masked her derision, and the way she emphasized her last sentence made it clear that she felt being his partner was equal to this garbage assignment she’d been punished with.

❛ Lucky me, ❜ she muttered under her breath.

With that, she turned back to the work she had started.  She was almost certain that if he deigned to speak to her again just now, she might actually turn around and literally bite his head off.  Because that’s what it was.  That was exactly how it was every time he spoke to her — as though he had to lower himself, like it pained him to have to put up with her, since she wasn’t ‘ on his level ’.  She could tell exactly how he viewed her — nothing more than a nuisance he would sooner be rid of.  And here she had gone and tried to cover for his ass!  S certainly wouldn’t be making that mistake again anytime soon.

She continued sorting through various piles of items, her actions and movements perhaps a bit more rough than was strictly necessary.  But she was angry.  She felt betrayed, and belittled, and unvalued.  This certainly wasn’t the atmosphere they had touted at the academy.  Maybe the person S was most angry at was herself — for hoping that anything would be different this time, that the world and the people who inhabited it wouldn’t disappoint her yet again.

It wasn’t until hours later, long after she’d left the office and her cantankerous partner, as she sat a the bar in some dingy, seamy, hole-in-the-wall sort of place, eyeing a handsome stranger in the corner, that it occurred to her why her mood had suddenly turned so sour.  It was that week of the month.

For her entire adult life, S spent an entire week every month — without fail — with one single, driving force compelling her thoughts, actions, and moods.  The need to have sex.  Shortly after that week would pass, her cycle would start.  Not having a mother, or any sort of motherly figure, or any female friends for that matter, to discuss such things with, S simply assumed that this was just a normal part of being a human woman — that they all went through the same thing, but kept quiet about it for whatever reason.

The rest of that evening was a complete blur to her, just like it was every time this week came around.  She’d hooked up with that stranger in the bathroom at that bar, and then another in his car in the parking lot.  She bounced from bar to bar, her regular spots she usually hit during one of these weeks — she only came to these places once a month, not wanting to make any lasting connections.  At each place she found more than a few guys who were beyond ready and willing, and by the end of the night, she’d ended up going back to some random stranger’s place just like she did every single time.  It was always his place, whoever he happened to be that night, and never hers.  Never hers.  She didn’t want them seeing her sad, pathetic little place, and more than that, she didn’t want them knowing where she lived.

Every night of that week for her was like that.  It always ended the same way, going home with someone after a multitude of hook-ups, sneaking out after he’d fallen asleep, heading home and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

S wasn't easy — it wasn’t that.  In fact, every other day except for the seven in that week, she was incredibly discerning and exceedingly picky.  But as soon as that week would hit, her taste and her standards flew out the window in favor of some insatiable, unquenchable, unslakable need — driven by some unknown biological imperative that she was blind to and helpless against.  She’d learned the hard way that it was futile to resist it.  If she tried to abstain, or fight her urges, her mood and temperament would blacken to that which rivaled her new partner’s.  Her normal, bubbly, upbeat self would be replaced with an irritable, unrecognizable grump.

Even getting through the workday was precarious and at times almost excruciating.  When she showed up the next day, she offered a half-hearted apology to L.  After all, her mood wasn’t entirely his fault.  She was just, well. . . incredibly clouded over by the all-encompassing lust that seemed to possess her one week out of every month.  Possessed.  That was how she’d come to feel about it, over the years.  Like something else inside of her took over and she was stuck taking a backseat to whatever it was.

❛ I’m sorry for my behavior yesterday, I swear I’m not usually like that, ❜ S sighed.

There were circles forming under her eyes — she’d had a late night with little sleep — and the heat running through her was starting to make her uncomfortable.  She was jonesing for a fix again.

Hoping to distract herself with work, she absently picked up and put back down several items before turning back to L.

❛ So, what can you teach me about the stuff that comes through here? ❜

A roast and turnips sounded fine with him so long as she ate enough to regain her strength and nourish the child she carried. He watched her move about the room after taking the meat from him. Something green? Perhaps some of the leafy vegetables they had growing out in the garden would do for the green. The mention of pies though piqued his interest as he grinned at her.

“Yes, of course pies sound good”, he said as he chuckled softly. Yes Narfi would definitely be proud his berries were made into a pie, that much he knew. A grin though graced his lips at the mention of her own cravings. He wondered then what cravings she would have with this child. He noticed though the slight curve of her belly now in the glow of the hearth fire.

Having draped her arms around him he leaned slightly into her a grin upon his lips. “I would say it was quite successful”, he murmured against her lips before he was caught in the searing kiss. His hands sliding down her backside as he kissed her a sated hum upon his lips. He nuzzled her as they broke for air seeming almost a bit dazed from the kiss.

He nuzzled her wrist as her fingers plucked debris from his hair, her scent heavy in the air as he breathed her in. The beast with in him stirred for a moment, the recognition of her scent something that called to that primal side of him, called to him wanting him to answer it in the only way it knew how to. There was a yearning there to be close to her, with in her, around her, he wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in her scent.

“Yes, yes there was”, he chuckled at her words. There was almost disappointment in his voice at the thought of having to part from her. The sound of Narfi also drew his attention as he sighed and hung his head with a smirk. “I’ll take him with me”, he said as he kissed her once more, a fiery passionate kiss before breaking from her and heading to their son.

“Let’s go little duck, Mama needs vegetables and more berries”, he said as the child was rousing from his nap. A grin on his tiny face at the mention of helping his father. “Come on lets get some vegetables for dinner”, he said as Narfi leapt off his bed excited. “Can we pick the berries!”, he said excitedly. Loki just laughed and gave him a we’ll see answer as they headed out into their garden.

He handed Narfi a wooden bucket and went about looking through the various growths picking what he thought would be good for their dinner. Several carrots and potatoes as well as a few turnips and greens. Once satisfied with the vegetables he gave the boy a small basket so they could pick berries. It didn’t take long for the basket to be filled before they headed back inside. Narfi of course was far to excited to inform his mother of their pickings.

         ❛ Thank you, ❜ she managed to murmur before being caught in another intense kiss.

A soft, surprised moan escaped her before she melted into him.  When he broke from her, she was left standing their blinking and quite dazed.  Her head was swimming and it took her several moments to remember what she was supposed to be doing.  Dinner, she recalled.  She was supposed to be making their dinner.

Shaking her head to clear it, Sigyn soon busied herself with preparing the roast.  First, she trimmed a bit of the extra fat off of the cut of boar meat her husband had brought her.  She placed the meat into a pot and generously covered it with a hearty mushroom broth she had prepared a few days ago, and added the extra bits of fat back in to enhance the flavor, along with various herbs and spices before setting it over the fire to cook.

Once that was taken care of, she fetched the piecrust dough she had stored — grateful that she already had some ready and waiting.  Carefully, she lined two of the round dishes she usually baked her pies in, and slid them onto a rack in her hearth to crisp up a bit.

Just as Sigyn had pulled them out and set them on the counter to cool, she heard Narfi returning, a ball of bubbling excitement, with his father not far behind.

❛ Look!  Look, mama, ❜ he exclaimed jubilantly, ❛ we bringed only the bestest back for you! ❜

❛ I see!  I see! ❜ Sigyn said, responding in kind with a warm smile and a fond hand upon his head.  ❛ Thank you, my darling little dove. ❜

With a kiss to his cheek, she sent him off to play in the next room.  Taking the variety of vegetables from Loki, she asked if he would go keep their son entertained while she finished their meal.  Normally, she would have allowed Narfi to help her, supervising him closely, but that often took longer than when she did things herself, and she was already beginning to feel tired again.

Satisfied that they were both out of her kitchen where they couldn’t cause any trouble, Sigyn wiped a bit of sweat from her brow and continued with her preparations.

She had timed it perfectly — the pies went into the oven just as the meat and the side of vegetables came out.  The pies would bake through dinner, cool while she cleaned up after, and be ready just in time for a sweet treat later.

❛ Time to wash up!  Dinner is ready, ❜ she called out to the adjoining room as she went about setting the table.

Sinking into a chair, Sigyn thought to herself that all she really wanted to do right then was crawl into bed and sleep.  When had making dinner become so exhausting?  She didn’t recall feeling this way when she’d been pregnant with Narfi.

He knew she was letting him win and while he normally would have been a bit annoyed at that at the moment he was thankful. He didn’t understand why she was always so kind to him. Still he could not ignore the way his stomach seemed to protest to his ignoring it in order to frolic in the water with her.

The mention of cakes made him grin. “It most certainly would be such a horrible waste”, he said standing there running a hand over his wet face smoothing back his hair. He followed her when she made her way back up to their spot. He sat on the blanket the warmth of the sun a welcome sensation.

He looked down at her hand taking his and gave it a soft squeeze. He looked at the food and picked at it his hunger having reared it’s head. He noticed she was bare for all to see and while the view was pleasant in a way he wanted to cover her up, shield her from any prying eyes.

“You know, Heimdall can see you like that”, he said as he took a bite out of one of the cakes stealing a glance. He did not let her hand go though when she had laced their fingers together. Perhaps he had missed her too much to let her hand go, not yet.

“No, you needn’t worry. I can manage” he said with a chuckle. “Though it is quite hard to maneuver with only one free hand. Not that I am complaining” he said giving her a wink. He had another cake before he flopped back beside her his hand giving hers a small squeeze once more. The sun’s warmth slowly drying their bodies.

He wondered how long she would be like this. Was it because he had come back traumatized over what had happened? Was it because she pitied him? Was that why she was nice to him? He pushed those thoughts from his mind as he lay there her hand in his as his eyes seemed to grow heavy with contentment and sleep.

         ❛ I am certain Heimdallr would not mind such a sight, ❜ Sigyn quipped in muted disgust, then added a bit more seriously, ❛ Though he would never admit to seeing such with his prying eyes. ❜

Still, she made no move to collect her clothing and cover herself.  She wouldn’t let the watchman’s potential snooping spoil her afternoon with Loki.

She giggled softly when he winked.

❛ Well, you also have my free hand at your service, ❜ she noted, then hearing how that sounded, flushed bright red and hurriedly added, ❛ for fetching whatever food or drink you should want. ❜

Lapsing back into a comfortable silence, Sigyn returned his small squeeze with one of her own.  When she risked a careful glance at him, she saw that he was nearly falling asleep once more.  She reached out and gently combed her fingers through his hair, coaxing him into what she hoped was a restful slumber.

Sigyn must have succumbed to sleep herself at some point, because when her eyes blinked open again the sun had moved behind the trees.  Reluctantly, she slipped her hand from Loki’s and brought it up to brush his hair from his face and cup his cheek.

❛ Loki, we ought to start heading back, ❜ she whispered softly, nudging him awake.

Desperately, she wished that they could just stay there in that moment forever.  Overcome with a sudden boldness and bravery, Sigyn leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, kissing him softly at first.

Sliding her hand to the nape of his neck, she deepened the kiss ever so slightly.  It was tender and loving, full of affection — undemanding, without any expectations or desire for anything more — just an adoring kiss, nothing more.  After it ended and they had broken apart, Sigyn pulled back and smiled warmly as her eyes slowly opened.

He wanted to please her how ever he could and yet his body was so close to betraying him. When she stilled him he almost whined in frustration but obliged because it was what she wanted. He groaned though against her lips when she had kissed him returning the kiss with the same hunger as her own.

He hissed softly and moaned when her hips rolled over him once more. Growling he moved with her the feel of her nails digging into his skin almost making him lose whatever control he had. The feel of her walls clenching around him as she found her release, squeezing him almost hindering his own movement within her was enough to bring him over.

He cried out as he spilled into her, he bit down gently upon her bare skin in the crook of her neck to stifle his moans of pleasure. His heart raced threatening to beat from his chest as he remained joined with her. Moving he stopped and allowed her request as he remained within her his arms around her as he stilled his breathing.

He pressed soft kisses against her skin as he nuzzled her. As much as he wished to remain within her he found himself slipping from between her depths. He shivered when her hands slid over him, caressing ever inch, his own hands mirroring her actions. He moved back slightly as her hand moved down to trace the swell of her belly. He smiled softly as he watched her a sense of pride swelling in him.

HIs hand slid down to her belly rubbing it gently. “Of course. I could warm some meat for you”, he said softly as he looked at her. “There is also cheese and if you are still hungry I can cut some of the smoked elk or salmon in the smoke house”, he said as he leaned over to kiss her softly. He caressed her belly once more before he shifted to stand his hand extended to help her up walking back with her to their home his arm around her.

         Sigyn sighed when she felt his hand on her belly.  She found something so intimate and tender in such a simple gesture.

❛ Mmm, yes. ❜  She hummed hungrily.  ❛ Yes, to all of it. ❜

Her mouth watered as he listed off various foods, and she thought of other things she already had in their stores — breads and fruits and jams and pies.  She was quickly becoming ravenous.

She accepted his assistance, as rising on her own was becoming a bit of task the more her belly grew, and eagerly tucked herself into his side when he placed his arm around her.  Slinking her arm about his waist, she enjoyed their amiable silence as they returned home.

Cutting through the kitchen, Sigyn headed straight for their stores and began gathering armfuls of whatever struck her fancy in the moment.  Once she had everything laid out on their table, she brought her index finger to her lips and tapped contemplatively.

After a few moments of consideration, she made her way over to the smokehouse and ducked her head in the door.

❛ I think we need more honey, ❜ she stated, one hand resting over her middle.  What she meant was they definitely needed more honey, and they needed it now.

He had followed her trying to keep up with her quick pace as she all but exploded into the village. His satchel at his side packed with whatever he would need to heal any injuries he trailed behind her. Despite their height difference she was still quick on her feet and his lanky awkward gait had him scampering to keep up.

The way she had burst into the drinking hall and the roar of her voice only made Loptr shiver. LIke the nickname bestowed upon her, she was in fact very akin to an angry badger. When Jari laughed Loptr only winced knowing that it would only piss her off more. He wasn’t wrong. The sound of her fist connecting with Jari’s face made his face contort in utter pain and being plenty glad he was not on the receiving end of such a hit.

When they had reached outside and blades had been brandished only then did Loptr debate pleading with her to simply drop it. It would fall on deaf ears though he knew this and its why he remained silent. It was better she release this violence and rage out on Jari. He still would have preferred to look for trolls in the cave. Anything to get away from such situation really. Perhaps his father was right and he was a naturally born coward.

He knew Jari had an advantage with height and weight but Siggy was no one to be doubted. Her step mother had trained her in the ways of being a shieldmaiden and as far as Loptr was concerned Siggy could have descended from Brynhildr herself. The only other woman he knew to be as fierce was Lagertha wife of Ragnar Lothbrok. But even then Siggy could probably best her as well.

He flinched when the tip of the blade had cut her arm and already he was mentally preparing herbs and poultice to put upon it. Judging from the gash and the rate of bleeding he did not need to stitch it at least he thought so. She was fighting out of anger and Loptr knew that in doing so left one open to mistakes. Anger was never something to fight with. And still she was still doing quite well.

It wasn’t a long conflict. In fact it was over quickly and Jari left defeated upon the ground. Siggy did not even have to speak for Jari to understand. Loptr however felt incredibly ashamed that a girl had to defend his honor. He would no doubt hear of this, and he could only imagine the teasing that would transpire.

He followed her when she’d motioned for him. Like some loyal dog really he hurried after her. “You didn’t have to do that”, he said softly as he fell into step beside her looking at the wound on her arm. “I could have done it myself but I just did not care to. He is not worth the trouble”, he said softly. Silently Loptr prayed the gods would take Jari on his first raid. It would only be fitting.

When they were well away from the village he gripped her wrist stopping her. “Let me look at your arm” he said. Not letting her argue with him he simply pushed her to sit on a fallen log so he could tend to the wound. It wasnt to bad, the gash was deep but in no need of stitching. He sighed though and shook his head. It was foolish of her to have gone into that fight with all that rage and anger.

He cleaned the wound and packed it with crushed paste like herbs. “You should not fight angry. You make mistakes”, he said quietly as he bandaged her arm. HIs concern now was Jari retaliating on him on the rare chance he was not with Siggy. “I will need to chance this tomorrow. But it should heal. You might have a scar but I will try to make it as small as possible”, he added as he packed his satchel again.

         ❛ Yes, I did, ❜ Siggy countered adamantly.

She did have to do that, because Loptr had been attacked and hurt, and she would never, ever let that stand.  Hopefully word would spread through their village, and every man, woman, and child residing there would understand the wrath they would incur should any harm come to her dearest friend.  He was under her protection, and they had best take notice.

Hearing his words, Siggy halted abruptly and turned to face Loptr.

❛ He is not worth the trouble.  You are, ❜ she stated firmly, leaving no room for further argument as she turned heel and stalked off again.

Her brow lifted in mild surprise when Loptr took hold of her wrist and used an equally firm tone on her.  She wasn’t angry or offended, but rather impressed.  She obliged when he nudged her onto a fallen log, and didn’t fight his efforts to tend to her cut.

Under her breath, she muttered, ❛ I am almost always angry. ❜

There were few instances where Siggy knew true happiness since the loss of her entire family — many, if not most, of these instances were times she’d spent with Loptr.

❛ It is only a cut, Loptr, ❜ she said with a dismissive roll of her eyes, then continued defensively, ❛ I did not make a mistake!  Jari, though a brute, is a decent fighter. ❜

Staring off into the distance, almost wistfully, she had to admit to herself that in spite of all of his innumerable faults, Jari was a damn good fighter.  Even had she been at the top of her game, mind not clouded with rage, he probably still would have caught her arm.  She was lucky it was only a superficial scratch, and that Loptr was so talented in the healing arts.

Siggy nodded in acknowledgement of his order for treatment.  She stood from the log and threw her arms about him, pulling him into a fierce hug.  Suddenly embarrassed at having been overcome with such softness, and anxious over her own feelings, she released him and jumped back, shifting nervously.

He cradled the babe in his arms watching him sleep quietly. He didn’t want her to injure herself or over exert herself given having just delivered their child. He’d tried to keep the kitchen as spotless as he could given he hadn’t the slightest clue where anything had been. The tears in her eyes though only made him worry about if he’d managed to upset her. “I tried to keep it manageable”, he said hoping she could forgive him for anything he’d done to cause such tears.

Still he did as she requested sitting at the table watching her. “Sigyn, I can do that you know. You needn’t over do it”, he said wanting her to sit so he could dote on her. She looked happy though, seemed happy to do such a menial task. He returned her quick kiss as she had set the bowl down before him. The way she had seemed to compliment his cooking only made him chuckle softly.

“My love you needn’t pretend it is good. I know it is not as savory or as great as yours”, he said with a soft smile shifting the babe to one arm as he took a spoonful of his attempt at dinner. He only laughed when she made mention of not burning anything. “On the contrary my love. I burnt the bread”, he laughed softly as he stood grabbing a small basket with a lightly burnt loaf of bread in it. He set it down with a sheepish smile. “For you my love I would make every meal”, he smiled.

When she cupped his cheek he leaned into the touch for a moment before realizing where her hand had come to rest. He sighed softly. He knew she was healing and their means of closeness would be weeks before they could have that again. Intimacy was a large factor in their marriage. It was means of conveying their love for one another, almost as another means of communication between them.

Before he could really say anything more Narfi’s tiny face scrunched slightly as he seemed to realize he was no longer in his mothers arms as he slept. The babe began to fuss, a soft whining at first, tiny features bunched in way that only meant he was preparing to wail. “Oh! What troubles you my son”, he said softly hoping to calm the babe.

         ❛ I am not pretending, my compliment is entirely sincere, ❜ Sigyn insisted.

He could have made the most disgusting tasting meal in all the realms, and it still would have tasted wonderful to her for the mere fact that he cared so deeply and had gone to so much trouble.

She laughed quietly along with him when he mentioned the bread and brought it over.  ❛ This is not beyond saving, I think. ❜

Grabbing a knife, she took the loaf from the basket and began gently scrapping off the burnt outer crust, revealing a perfectly edible crumb hidden underneath.

❛ See?  All is not lost — this is ideal for soups and stews.  You have done a lovely job, my darling. ❜

Sigyn withdrew her hand and settled back in her chair.  She squirmed just a bit, trying to find a more comfortable position and wishing she had thought to grab a cushion.

Hearing Narfi’s faint cries, her gaze shifted instinctually to their son.  She immediately wanted to reach out for him, but held off from doing so, wanting to give Loki the chance to calm him and to show him that she trusted him with the newborn.  She continued eating her stew, keeping a careful eye should her intervention be required.

He was a bit in awe of the cave it self. It was massive and looked deep. What if it led to Helheimr itself? What horrors would they find? He looked at her then when wh she returned with the sticks. These would not ward off trolls in any sense of the word. Suddenly he was filled with fear and dread having to go into those cavernous hole. Swallowing he followed her into the cave clutching the stick tightly in his hand.

He looked down at her hand in his and clutched it for dear life as they began. “M-maybe this is not so good idea? Maybe we should come back with sword and shield”, he stammered as he followed her his eyes darting all over the place. What they needed was a torch. “We need fire”, he said quietly so as not to alert anything living in said cave to their exploration.

He jumped though at the sound of something scurrying and stifled a scream as he clutched at her hand tightly. “A troll”, he said fear in his voice as he clutched the stick in his hand. For a moment he had almost called out to Thor to protect them as this crazy child he now called friend had begun to inch further into the cave. “We’re going to die”, he squeaked as he reluctantly followed her into the cave.

His vision was beginning to fail him the deeper they went and he tugged her hand softly. “We need fire”, he said his voice but a hairs breath over a whisper. Crouching down he felt around the cave floor, dried leaves and twigs scattered he built a small fire to at least see what they were into. He then took his stick and rummaging through his satchel pulled out a long woolen scrap of material he often used to wrap delicate items in.

Wrapping it around the top of the stick he let the fire catch upon it. “There now we have light”, he said softly as he held the torch up. The darkness before them seemed to swallow the light of both fires as he followed her deeper into the cave. It seemed to narrow at one point before opening up into a large cavernous room. Bones scattered all over as if some great beast dwelled within.

         Siggy stifled a giggle when she heard Loptr’s guess at the source of the noise — a troll would truly be a sight!  Though, she doubted one lived here, as she had never seen one lurking around and she had lived here her entire life.  But oh!, she thought, Wouldn’t that be marvelous and exciting?

A singe, short, bark of laughter escaped her before she could catch herself when he proclaimed they were going to die.  She was finding her new friend to be very amusing, and quite good company — a lucky find for her, indeed.

❛ Do not fear death, Loptr, for if we should perish in pursuit of this cave, surely the gods should find us honorable to join them in their halls. ❜

After a moment, she added reassuringly, ❛ And I am here — I will protect you. ❜

She stopped when he did, and waited while he built his fire and lit his makeshift torch.  Beaming a him with pride, she patted his shoulder encouragingly.

❛ See, it is fortunate that I found you and brought you here, as you are very smart and resourceful! ❜

Every new inch of the cave that they explored fascinated Siggy.  She was in awe of this place that she had discovered, and very curious about how deep it went and where it might lead to.  Upon reaching the outlet, Siggy gasped in delight.  She bent and picked up bits of the bones littering the space, pocketing them with the intention of using them to adorn her shield and perhaps make a necklace from some as well.

With determination on her face, she looked at Loptr.  ❛ You stay here.  I am going to see what else is in here.  I’ll find my way back to where you are, with the light.  You will be my mark, in case I get lost, so I can find my way back. ❜

Setting off, she carefully made her way around the room.  Part of her training with Hertha was to learn how to see in the dark.  It required skill in seeing other ways — with your ears, with your hands and feet, even with scent.  Siggy came full circle, and gave a passing nod to Loptr.  She had discovered that there were other narrow passages that led to the area they were in now.  The difficulty was in choosing which one to venture down first.

Quickly deciding, she chose the nearest one — on the left — and began creeping down it quietly.  She hadn’t gotten very far when an awful noise resounded farther down the path she was taking.  Siggy couldn’t quite place what it was, and she was suddenly uncertain that she wanted to stick around to find out.

Turning back the way she’d come, back towards where Loptr was, she shouted one word before taking off full-tilt towards the exit.

He loved the feel of that tight wet heat every time he entered her. It were as if it were the first time, the way her body clenched around him, tightened and contracting around him as if pulling him in. He groaned softly as he reveled in the feel of it before withdrawing in teasing fashion.

He loved it, loved teasing her, loved bringing her to that point of sheer ecstasy before taking it away only to repeat. He loved hearing the sounds that emanated from her like music. The sounds coming from her were a symphony that only he could conduct, that only he could write. The sound of her begging though broke him of that need to continue as he gave her what she wished for.

He drove himself into her, soft grunts and moans of her name on his lips as he took her there. He was so close, so very close but he wanted to hear her one last time before he found his own release. He cried out as he felt her clench around him his own release following hers as they both tumbled down that path. He continued to move with in her allowing her body to milk every last drop from him.

Leaning upon her for support as he panted soflty he purred in contentment. He nuzzled her before removing the weight of his body from hers. He chuckled softly as he watched her attempt to walk before sprawling upon the grass. He stood there a sated smirk on his tattered lips as he fixed himself leaving his trousers unlaced. “Its almost therapeutic in a way”, he teased as he gripped the blade from where she’d left it and continued carving into the carcass needing to finish the task not wanting the meat to sit uncured any longer than needed. He swatted at the flies that had settled upon it during their romp.

         ❛ Mmm, yes.  Very therapeutic, ❜ she mumbled in agreement.

Sigyn sighed blissfully, enjoying the feel of the warm, sun-soaked grass against her bare skin.  Her skirts and blouse were scattered in piles about the work station.  Presently, she couldn’t be bothered to go and fetch them.

One hand found it’s way to her middle, resting over the place where the child — their child — had at long last taken root.  The other absently roamed the space beside her, combing through blades of grass with no set destination or purpose.  She fixed her gaze upon the brilliant blue sky, watching as clouds slowly drifted by and listening to her husband finishing up the work she had interrupted.

❛ Do you know what I am reminded of as I lie here, like this, Loki? ❜

A fond smile quirked up her lips.

❛ That day we had our lovely little picnic, and went for a swim — back when we were both still ensnared in the grip of Valhöll.  Do you remember? ❜

Her smile blossomed further, spreading over her entire visage.  She felt her eyes begin to drift closed, overcome with a sudden sleepiness, and blinked a few times trying to clear them before finally allowing them to shut.  She felt as though she could very easily and happily doze off right where she lay, with not a care in the world.

“Why do you say that”, he asked with a chuckle. “I do not think to highly of you my love I think what I think of you and speak merely the truth to you despite what others may say of me”, he replied as he nuzzled her softly. “I did not forget. How could I have forgotten? Besides would you have rather someone else seen you? I almost am grateful you were so hidden away from their sight”, he mused as he stroked her belly softly.

He looked at her then when she propped herself up. He looked at her with curiosity when she spoke. What silly thoughts ran through her head that made her ask such questions. He sighes softly and holds her hand in his. “Sigyn, I do not know the will of the Norns, I don’t know why they do as they do or why they are so cruel but I do not think for a moment it was because of something we did”, he said softly. In truth he wondered if it were merely to punish him but he would not say such.

He sighed and drew her into his arms. “Fear will do us no good! Fear will do our child no good”, he said as he kissed her softly. “Stop worrying Sigyn! You will merely distress yourself and our child! You will be a fine mother. You take care of me just fine, you take care of the dog and our animals just as fine. A child is nothing different. And it will just become instinct for you, you’ll see once the child is born you will just know”, he said hoping that it would alleviate some distress.

“As do I, I want our child to know how loved it is. How loved and wanted it is. But if you continue to worry you will give it a complex before it is even born”, he teased as he kissed her again. He noticed the smile though creeping upon her lips and he settled against her. Something must be going on with in to change her demeanor in a way. “Is it? Perhaps it is trying to tell you to stop worrying. That they will be fine”, he mused as he caressed her belly. “I’m not to sure, not to long I hope. If it is moving about this much then that should tell you it is growing strong”, he said.

         ❛ Despite the fact that neither of us may comprehend the reasons of the Norns, there always is one for everything they set into motion, ❜ Sigyn observed faintly in response.

Though, she thought to herself, that could also be used as a counter argument seeing as how they seemed to be allowing me the child now growing in my belly.  Perhaps she was being overly anxious.

Her features briefly contorted in a minuscule, unnoticeable wince at Loki’s harsh insistence against her fear and worrying.  She supposed he might be right, that she was proven to be an adequate caretaker thus far — and she had the next several months to bond with their child as it would continue to develop within her.  Maybe all mothers-to-be felt such things, and these were normal insecurities and concerns.  Sigyn resolved to speak with Eir about it the next time she came to check on her.  The conversation seemed to be upsetting her husband, and that was the last thing she wanted.

Switching mindsets, Sigyn gave a small smirk and returned his teasing remark with one of her own.  ❛ My darling, I think having you as their father automatically means he or she will be born with a complex. . .  And possibly also an ego. ❜

She smiled genuinely at him then, and leaned over to peck a kiss upon his cheek.

❛ When Eir is here next, I can ask her when such is to be expected.  And in this I must agree with you — I do get the sense that our child is already very strong. ❜  After a beat, she quietly added, ❛ And strong-headed, like their father! ❜

Soft laughter bubbled up and spilled from her lips.  Sigyn extricated herself from his embrace and slipped from their bed, pulling on her shift and moving to the doorway.  Leaning against the frame, she crossed her arms and tilted her head.

He looked over to her as the creature voiced its discomfort. Pulling on the reigns as it huffed Loki sighed trying to keep the creature somewhat pleasant as he moved to tighten the harnesses. “Oh its all lovely here darling”, he said oblivious to the taunting lilt of her voice.

He took the sack from her and noticed how the animal calmed and seemed to warm to her and he rolled his eyes. “Why will he calm for you but never for me. It’s as if he resents me the lazy lout”, he said as he put her bag into the small cart. “You would think he would be grateful to my bringing him here, he has mistress that tends to him and he grows fat with food and need not worry about being food or turned into sleeping furs”, he grumbled as he patted the caribou upon the hindquarters softly.

He held her hand softly giving it a squeeze a tired smile on his lips. “For what?”, he asked as he nuzzled her palm when she cupped his cheek. His own hand had settled over it as he leaned down returning her kiss softly. “You needn’t thank me my love. I would traverse the nine realms for you if you asked me to”, he mused as he nuzzled her softly.

He noticed how she once more seemed to close herself off from him and the smile he once held faded. He was prepared for her to pull away completely and when she didnt he wrapped his arms around her tightly when she curled into his side. “Are you ready?”, he asked softly as he held her tightly. He ached to feel her touché once more but as always he never pushed, never forced anything upon her. He missed the connection but that would once more come again when she was ready.

“Why so troubled my love. Do you think Angrboda would be angry seeing you? In truth, she has badgered me each time I’ve passed through. She wishes to meet the little asynja that as she claims has stolen my heart. But I remind her each time you can not steal what I so freely gave to you”, he mused as he gave her a soft squeeze. “You needn’t worry you will be more than welcomed at her hearth. Though if I find out you two are sharing secrets about me I might be cross”, he teased.

         ❛ He does not resent you, he just likes me better. ❜  Sigyn snickered quietly, but the sound was hollow.  There was no joy or light in her eyes as of late.

Feeling his arms tighten around her when she didn’t pull away fully, she fought the urge to withdraw from him.  His touch had always brought comfort to her, but now it brought her pain, only reminding her of what she had lost yet again.  Trying not to wince or shrink into herself and holding back another wave of tears, Sigyn took a deep, steadying breath.

An empty smile flickered at one corner of her lips over his jest about her and Angrboða swapping secrets.  She turned her head to the side, staring blankly into the distance before answering.

❛ I only worry that she feels that I have stolen more than just your heart, ❜ she confessed.  ❛ I worry that perhaps I have kept you from your family — your– your children. ❜