Austėja Rimkutė

It hurts to live when you're cut away from humanity,

in a foreign land of sorrows from an old and

desolate age, and indeed, my heart screamed the

questions at me for there was no way for some

wanderer Soul to find my weeping existence:

How do I live when I have no one?

When have I stopped growing and reaching towards the future?

All these years I've been dreaming and praying that these

torturous swords of pain shall abandon my heart.

But how can it be that these hopes and dreams become nothing but weight?

Useless Fantasies:

" At The Dawn Of Healing...

There Are Scars Burning Anew"

If I could wield time, I would go back to that ancient cobblestone stone of Nuremberg, right next to the cursed university of ours, and paint my eyes into a blaze instead.

It wasn't right; none of it was. Questions haunt my mind like beasts, but the acidic shame every time I think of you rips open every wound I sewn up with those trembling hands of mine, the graveyard always beckoning, inviting me towards that haunted mansion I called home for seven years past.

The most prominent of questions blinks at me in crimson outlines, and I want to ask you, my veins burning up from anger. Just what even were we? Because you expelled us into the abyss as if we were nothing

So many questions, so little time, for soon enough, I'll drift away from our building and demeanour as if I never were human, simply a cursed wraith of her kind.

🌟🐝💙.

Transcript from the photos:

I've noticed a growing trend online these days, and that's the heavy criticism that other creatives experience these days.

And it's not constructive criticism either; it's simply vicious attacks aimed at no one in particular simply because people are extremely vicious these days. To my fellow artists: here's your fellow reminder to ignore the voices and create anyway, for that's your passion and that's your source of happiness.

This is not even about me because I'm nowhere near as "big" to experience such criticism yet, but this is merely an observation l've noticed these days. Cancel culture is the most toxic thing that has happened to people's minds these days. People who do "deserve" to get cancelled should be sitting behind bars, point blank, and we all know such

"people" in the so-called public eye, but to aim the arrows of hatred towards people who are simply creating but the public deemed them "wrong" because their art made some so-called "mistakes"-that's not right. My fellow Gen Z people-l beg of you not to fall into such traps. The less toxic the internet, the better. Create in peace, and nurture your Soul.

That is what you should do.

No matter what, remember to stay creative for that is your fortress of peace, not the cruel and illusionary voices of the internet 💜💙.

The story of a human coming back to life after an inner death and the illusions life throws one's way when the mind is but a lost ocean of pain and misty knives.

A journey through the starry mist of one's mind can be jarring—but oh so necessary—if we want to feel as if we're touched by the feathers of life at last, our Souls found. But not by the ghosts of others and their scars—but by our own Souls and eternally bleeding scars. The only ones who will ever matter in this life of illusionary hazes, deceptions, and the questions of existence.

And most importantly, the story about how truth can shape one into a life of coffins and shadows if one is not ready to understand themselves and the ever-changing cosmos of possibilities yet. All have their price, and the shadow of truth costs the most.

But dear reader, remember forevermore that no one has the right to shape the truth for you. Only you see the colors that others cannot, and no shadow and twisted taint of a different, broken Soul, has the right to color the truth for you in shades of onyx deception.

Cover to be revealed soon!!💫🪐🐝

Creatively Yours,

Austėja.

Congratulations to Sarah J. Maas for another book finished and all that she has achieved 💙. She's an inspiration.

The post also has some mental health talk in the photos, if you don't mind 🫶.

Words cannot describe how relieved I am that for the two and a half years that it took to write the second draft of my mammoth book—yup, it is giant, sitting at 369k words—I didn't give up, no matter how hard life and this shaky dream of writing seemed to daunt my mind. Dreams are scary things sometimes, aren't they? We feel that if our dreams won't come true, then this life around us will crumble apart too. But we need to find a balance. I'm currently a student, and though life and my studies get in the way of my writing sometimes, I need to understand that they matter too. At 23, life is indeed a beast to tame, but there is beauty in life too. This is why I also write poetry alongside my fictional epic fantasy—in poetry, emotions alchemize into words, and something within me feels understood. I still have a long way to go, but we all start somewhere, don't we? Although it's easy to compare ourselves to others, we must also remember that every task, whether "small" or "big," is a milestone achieved. So never give up on your dreams. Creative careers are scary, but they matter.

"Useless Fantasies"—the poem you saw in the photo—comes from the first book I ever released and the only book I have out currently: At The Dawn of Healing... There Are Scars Burning Anew... I released it in November. I wrote this poem when I was 21, almost two years ago, when I was going through my first and only breakup so far. When we are faced with an unexpectedly broken heart, our minds conjure up fantasies of reconciliation even if the fantasies cut into us like poisoned blades. But that's what a broken heart does—in times of desperation, we find ourselves wishing for potions of healing. The potion oftentimes paints itself into the eyes of a person we know we will never touch, love, or see again. Before this, I never knew that heartbreaks indeed destroyed one from within; I thought that such emotions existed only in movies and books. Oh, how foolish young me was...and when I wrote that poem, I wished that I didn't experience it all. Looking back, I am grateful for all the lessons life gave me. Scars indeed plant seeds of wisdom within us, but we only feel that wisdom after time, like a wave, puts a distance between the pain, the person, and ourselves. When I come back to my first book and read these words, I almost want to look away because sometimes, I still cannot believe I put my emotions and experiences into a book and let the eyes of others take them in. But I also know that this is what art is—it's meant to be seen so others may heal from their own pain. After all, it is often through the experiences of others that we find ourselves healed and understood. We are social souls for a reason.

At The Dawn of Healing... There Are Scars Burning Anew...now out on Amazon 🫶 💙 🧡.

What creative details about books do you enjoy the most? Personally, I love when authors include photos, art, and other creative details in their books; it makes the book seem even more creative and precious. As an indie author, I have the freedom to include photos and unique headers under each poem/chapter, as well as being in control of the cover and other creative details. Traditional and indie publishing each have their benefits and drawbacks, but I feel that I made the right decision with indie publishing my first book—a poetry collection-via my publishing house, Phoenix Bee Press (on the books written as Phoenix Bee Publishing).

Designing the cover and the inside photos was a thrilling experience. I hope that with my second poetry collection-out in a few months!—and my epic fantasy series, I will also be able to include fun quirks like this. For financial reasons, I couldn't hire artists—I'm an English lit and creative writing student-and edited the cover via Photopea and other tools—| didn't use Al!— but I hope to be able to collaborate with artists when I release my epic fantasy series. Fun fact: the cover is actually a photo of my favorite forest, simply colored differently and edited via the rippling water effect. If you're wondering about the bee on the cover and also my publishing imprint, it's because my name is Austeja, and in Lithuanian mythology Austeja is the Queen/Goddess of the bees 🐝. The symbol became my sign for strength and existence. The book is also made to look like a faded diary of sorts, with a rippling photo of a colored forest that appears like water. Colors bleeding onto the diary pages. It is because I began to write when I was 14—I'm 22 now-and it was written over an

Poetry that reads like a stream of consciousness and doesn't confuse the mind but instead makes one feel understood? ✅

Poetry rooted in nature and how one can find an escape there and not in the outside world that often seems deceptive?✅

Poetry that rips one's heart to shreds? ✅

A poetry collection that includes 13 photos of nature featuring excerpts from my poetry book? ✅

Words that don't disregard the fact that life can be a brutal sword sometimes and that the dawn of hope and healing can sometimes feel like a never-ending night of a mountain's climb?✅

My greatest conviction is the knowledge that it's within our imagination and the words we find upon the pages of endless ink that we find ourselves completely free and understood. I hope, and wish, that this poetry collection will find and soothe your mind, making you feel found, for life often forgets how brutal pain and life can be 💙

"At The Dawn Of Healing...There Are Scars Burning Anew"-now out on Amazon in paperback, hardcover, and ebook formats. Soon, it'll be released in the Apple store and many other retailers 🧡✨.

Link in bio 🐝

But through pain, we find wisdom too. Happy inspirational reading 💛.

Link in bio 🐝.

Link in bio 🐝.

It's been a few weeks since l've released this book, and I still feel wide-eyed when thoughts of my book come into my mind. It's just all so surreal. I finally have it in my hands too, and it's true what they say — to hold your book in your hands is a magnificent feeling indeed.

The picture above features a direct quote from my poetry book. The book also includes thirteen pictures, like the one featured there - though the one here is a separate photo I took, on a recent walk in October. So, in the book, you get never-before-seen ones 😎. Same with flowers being featured under poem headers.

If you've loved the photo and its direct quiet, or are interested in buying my book — I'd be eternally grateful for that link in my bio! 🐝

Do you love poetry about life, rebirth, inner death, trying to find yourself once again even if life aims its weapons your way and the endless cycles of melancholia and life's blues? But most importantly, not giving up and searching for that flickering inner light no matter what? Then you'll love my poetry collection. The excerpt above is a quote from one of my poems. This poetry collection also includes thirteen photos of nature made in the same style as the photo featured above. Nature helped me when no one else did, and I hope these words of hope and sadness can help you find your inner light again, dear reader, if you ever find yourself struggling 🧡.

Link in bio! 🐝

Link in bio! 🐝

Link in bio 🐝.

Never in my wildest of fantasies would I have ever imagined that writing would truly become the healing potion l've so wished to attain. Life is a labyrinth we all must navigate, otherwise, we freeze within, and that is the death of the darkest of knives. The book tells a tale of such a period in my life, and though life still strikes me with its arrows of melancholia, by releasing this book at twenty-two, I feel the shadows of that old life clearing away and freeing me from a cage l've surrounded my heart with. Dear reader, I hope you'll enjoy this poetry collection that also includes thirteen photos of nature 🫶💛. And may we see each other on another book adventure! ⭐️🐝

Link in bio!