Auspicious Items

Things look unfavorable for all signs. Stay in bed today and wait until tomorrow when the stars point to something prosperous in your future.

Rats, make a salve of coffee beans and dijon mustard and apply it to your left eye at mid-afternoon for a opportune night.

#Libra, put a jar full of vodka in a toilet reservoir to attract gentle vibes for the next 12 days.

Cardinal signs, if you see someone in a fuchsia coat today, it will bring untroubled things your way.

Currently mapping the sky for pertinent astrological data. Please check back in one hour for a new #fortune.

For a warm evening, spray a concoction made of vinegar, tricycle, and badgers around your home.

Dogs, make a salve of glitter and cashew butter and apply it to your right eye at mid-afternoon for a promising weekend.

Bliss will come to all signs today that have an encounter with a bracelet. It will ward off dark influences this entire week.

Earth signs, steep worms in boiling water and drink with honey when cool. It will have promising impact on your night.

For a advantageous morning, wake up 9 hours early and toss one burrito out a window.

Stellar squirts, if you seek a propitious ambience this lunar cycle, find all the slippers you can, but avoid every camera.

Mutable signs, feel encouraged if you see a school newsletter today. It tells of sparkling things to come.

#Aries, use a salve made from ramen this morning to avoid a untoward crisis coming soon.

An exoplanet in retrograde will create rosy events for all Water signs this lunar cycle.

Fire signs, smear a little barbeque sauce mixed with crushed slippers below your right buttock after sunrise to alleviate unfortunate moods.

Go for a walk and try to compare all the herons with any banana you find. This thought exercise will calm you.

Go for a walk and try to compare all the tortellini with any pen you find. This thought exercise will calm you.