Aubrey Rylan

Yet squishing me to death sounds much more appealing to about 90% of them.

Aww you poor thing.... What about this. Jack? You suck it up for your fans and I’ll take you to dinner. Anywhere or anything you want. My treat? we got a deal?

Someone explain to me why meet and greets are always filled with idiots who can’t respect boundaries?

Cause they’re all excited to see you and hug you for like 10 seconds and take a selfie.

There’s a small percentage for sure.  I’d be okay with Emily realizing that she’s in love with her best friend and telling those  Santini brothers to piss off and riding off into the sunset with Catherine. But alas that wouldn’t get us ratings now would it? Pity. We’ll need it in writing for sure. While pinky promises are legit for us but in the eyes of law we’d need actual forms. As painful as it is for me to say it and I’ll deny ever saying it, Avery helps our ratings…..

I don’t think it’s that small.. I mean, people love girl on girl more than hot guys most of the time.. That could be the twist ending in at the end, Emily realizes that she loves Catherine and the Santini brothers leave town together. But it’d probably upset people like the ending of How I Met Your Mother did. We’ll get lawyers to draw it up or something. They might think we’re weird though since we’re making a contract to legitimize a pinky promise... Oh, don’t worry, any conversation that praises him or helps him in any kind of way instantly gets pushed out of my brain and I forget it even happened so don’t worry about it getting back to him. But you’re right. We need the smug son of a bitch.

Absolutely! I’ll just read my next scripts over and over like a crazy person so I’ll have more free time to hang out with you when I’m not filming. I guess I can blame my lazyness for that because I hate going through old things but when you’re moving you don’t really have a choice anymore. I’ll come for sure. I know you so well that I could pick a house without you and I’d still be 100% sure you’d be in love with it. Aw, I always forget how nice your neighbors are. I can’t blame the man for wanting your autograph for his daughter you’re like the best role model a girl could ask for! Right. If you ever find one, are you willing to share your super GBF with me? They say sharing is caring, so…

Or you can bring them with you and read them here with me.. I can do the same. We can have script reading sleep overs... That’s true.. And I’ve definitely gotten a bunch of new stuff that I probably should go through.. Good you’re eye for detail is a little better than mine so you might see something in a house that I don’t. Only some of them are nice. The other half I don’t think I’ve met.. His daughter was really cute though too. I stopped by a few days later after that with some cookies and watched a movie with her. Have I told you lately that I love you? You give me way more credit and praise than I deserve. And you’re just as good as a role model as I am. Maybe even more because you’re older so therefore more experienced. I always have no problem sharing with you so we’ll both just keep our eyes open for one and he’ll get two besties for the price of one. Maybe even three if we share with Serinda.

Even if we actually were a thing, I feel like some fans might actually dig that. I’d totally be down for Emily and Catherine being together. Shall we pinky swear on that? To seal the deal. Those poor deluded fan girls. The world might come to an end for them if they ever open their eyes.

Some of them would. I mean, people ship us. Not as much as they ship you and Gavin, you and Avery, or me and Avery but we definitely have our own little ship going on. I’d be all for them being together too. Hell yeah we can pinky swear. If I start to believe that Avery is something other than a pain in the ass, I am no longer sane and you get to take care of me. For our own sakes, let’s hope they don’t find out until after the show’s off the air.

Is there such thing as a boring night with you? I wouldn’t expect anything less than a lot of fun! We need to make that happen asap. I know what you mean. I was always a big fan of moving just because it gives you the opportunity to have a fresh start and get rid of things you don’t want anymore. I can totally go house hunting with you when you’re ready. You’re lucky, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before your show starts getting bigger and bigger, though. Are you serious? Is he still an actor or did he just do something totally new after leaving the show? Good for him. I hope you asked for his number because every girl needs a fab gay best friend!

We’ll do it as soon as we possibly can. Because I’m excited, not just to see the movie either. I miss our hang out time.. I was never big on moving but then again I’ve only moved like twice so I haven’t done it too often. But when my assistant is off her vacation, I’m gonna have her start calling real estate people and if you still want to come, you’re more than welcome to. I’d love your opinion.. Oh yeah, the show is big as it is and it’ll just keep growing, but I just live around a lot of old people... The people on the first floor though know who I am. They brought me brownies and asked me for my autograph for their daughters when I first moved in. He’s still an actor but he hasn’t done a lot of mainstream stuff since. I did but because we haven’t talked in like seven years. I’m still on the hunt for my GBF.

Tell me you’ve at least been some what tempted to google yourself. Ya know we could always just simply tell the media we’re dating but than again they would just say we were really good friends. Avery is an inquired taste….. Yeah tell me about it. I don’t think anyone wants to know that.

Not lately but I used to.. I’m not against it but I think they would know that we’re lying at this point or would call it some kind of stunt. He’s a taste that I never want to acquire. And if I ever start to say otherwise, you have permission to have me committed.. The crazy fan girls would, but they might also explode if they found out that Avery is nothing like David Santini.

And it’s definitely not debatable if you’re a bitch or not. I don’t owe you shit, Aubrey. You suggested these things all on your own. Maybe deep down, you’re just in love with me, but you won’t admit it. Start that stupid petition, but I can guarantee it won’t get more than 10 signatures. 

To you... I’m a bitch to you.. Because being nice and normal to you doesn’t work and is apparently something you don’t want. So this is what you get... I think you are higher than you’ve ever been if you really think that I’m in love with you. Or maybe you’re in love with me and you being an ass all the time is you living in denial of your feelings.  Don’t test me, because I’m pretty sure I can get at least half of that without even leaving our set because of the shitty stunts like this that you pull.

Exactly! Now I’m counting on you to do some Grease 2 magic tric for me to like it. You’re always welcome at my place, Aubrey. But I don’t think things could really go that far I mean they must feel really proud to be living in the same building as the Aubrey Rylan, no? First kisses, good times. I’m glad we got this over with like with the whole TV technique we kinda had an excuse if we were bad at it at first. True, we’re just having older people problem but it’s all the same!

I will definitely do that! We’ll order some food, have some wine, I’ll make you sing along with me... It’ll be a fun night. Well thank you, Mads, but I should start looking for a bigger place regardless. I’ve been here for almost 2 years. I either need a bigger apartment or a smallish house. I’m not even sure my neighbors even know who I am. There are a few old people who recognize me from One Life but that’s about it. That’s why I love it but I’m outgrowing the place.. Horrible times.. Having those experiences happen on TV made it all ten times worse. But it got me used to the camera so it came in handy... Oh! Did I tell you that the guy I had my first kiss with turned out to be gay? I saw him a few weeks back and he was out on an anniversary date with his boyfriend. They were so cute...

Sometimes I can’t help myself. I’ll read articles about myself and laugh at how ridiculous they are.  He’s a pain in the ass regardless if he’s high or not. But it’s a nightmare when you’re trying to get through a scene. I don’t think either of us want to know how that twisted mind of his work. 

I try not to read about myself because like a majority is speculation about who I am dating and even if it’s more exciting than my actual love life, I don’t really want to hear about it. I am soo glad you feel the same way I do cause this way I can bitch about him and no one will defend him. There are times when he’s good in a scene but the majority of the time is painful. The last thing I want to know is the inner workings of his mind.

You know how TMZ likes to make things bigger than they actually are. And people are just so gullible they believe everything they read. Of course I would babe! Sistas before mista.  And I’ll make it my personal mission to make his life hell when I work with him.  Exactly. You’ve read my mind.

Read and see. I can’t even lie and say that I don’t watch their TV show to hear about stuff I didn’t know. Thank you! And you know how hard it is to work with him while he’s high. It takes longer to get through scenes.. I appreciate it. I don’t know why he likes to make this harder for everyone else. 

Because I’m not stupid, Aubrey. That’s why. That actually sounds like a good plan. Just too bad it came from you. I don’t think you’re allowed to, to be honest. But nice try. And I’m stuck with you, you boring stiff. 

Well, that’s debateable... Yeah, I don’t know why I suggested it either. Helping you out is way down is way down on my list of things to do but hey, now you owe me.. I’m allowed to do anything I want. And that includes starting petitions. I’ll have my assistant figure out the rest. At least its just as unpleasant for you as it is for me. 

Could you imagine how that would go down? I could picture the hysterical crying as we speak about it! And just losing their damn minds.  There’s not a good enough word I can think of at the moment to describe Avery. That’s nice anyways. I’m my humble opinion I think we’re the best on the show. I mean sure the guys are great eye candy but we got so much emotional depth that can’t be deny. 

Oh, I can see the news reports now.. “The Cast of Mystic Falls sends fans into hysterics by being normal!” TMZ would make a ton of money though… If I told you he told me that he specifically got high because he knew we were working together the next day, would you hate him at least a little bit as much as I do? I would have to agree with you there.. I mean, if there was no us, it’d just be hot guys with vampire fangs and can turn into wolfs. There’d be no substance. We give them something to play off of. Which makes us more important in my opinion.