atrophi (✿◠﹃◠)

too cool to jerk off to pictures of women with impossible hip to waist ratios yet not cool enough to jerk off to the concept of being killed, the rōnin pervert wanders this land in search of a slightly-higher-concept yet not totally abstract form of fetish posting

dreamt that itch.io released their own special adaptable accessible super thin flexible silicon game controller called the Butterfly you could also fuck (they packaged each one with lube and toy cleaner) but there was no specific obvious way you were supposed to fuck it they encouraged everyone to find their own special unique way to fuck it. and they ran these ads for it that were different people from all walks of life saying what they do with it . sunburned rural dad who folds it hotdog style and jacks off into it. biracial masc lesbian with undercut who tribs with the joystick. young amputee in wheelchair who lets it vibrate on his lap while he works on his novel. etc. beautiful supermodel woman whos like "and me? i just game. hard." it ended with them all triumphantly saying into the camera "and thats how *I* fuck #MyButterfly"

this is what GOOD pussy sounds like [geiger counter noises]

knight fucking its liege with the hilt of its sword because it doesn't have time to remove its armor right now please tell me you see the vision

little miss spaceship ai needs you to install hidden cameras in everyone's bedrooms for security reasons.