Untitled

‘Coffee?' -Park Seonghwa

You bit your lip apprehensively, the phone in your hands almost slipping with how lax your grip on it had become. What was once your lifeline to the world - the window to what was beyond your walls - was now the bane of your existence.

A loud shrill cuts you off of your thoughts. The phone was now ringing. You practically jumped out of your skin at the sound, and in a panic, you unwittingly pressed the red button.

"Fuck," you hissed, not fully intending to reject the call. Well, not entirely, anyway. You didn't mean to immediately do it, your nerves always failed you at the last minute. 

You were back to biting your bottom lip, but this time, you bit on them with twice the anxiety and twice the strength since they were actively bleeding out in between your teeth. You jumped out once more when your phone dinged.

‘Do not ignore me. Get dressed. We’re getting coffee.’ -Park Seonghwa

Ignoring his incessant calls and messages shouldn't have been this difficult and stressful. You could feel your sanity slowly slipping away from you every single time you'd leave another text from Seonghwa unanswered.

This prick, you thought, gritting your teeth so hard, the grating sound of it made your head hurt. You haphazardly threw your phone on your desk, not caring if it gets smashed or not. It would be better if it did, honestly. That way, you’d have no contact with him left, and his control over you would vanish. 

And in that way, you wouldn’t be tempted to see him over and over again. 

It wasn’t a fault of his own sometimes. There was always this urge in you to see how he was, what he’s doing, and if he was the same man you left a couple of months ago. 

You bit your lip, looking down on your outfit. It was a simple white button-up shirt, some jeans, and a pair of heels. It wasn’t a choice of yours, either; Seonghwa loved elegance. He would make you change, anyway, and waste your time. 

You’ll meet up with him one more time, and tell him that it would be the last time. You’ll meet up with him one more time, and tell yourself that it would be the last time. 

The cafe was empty when you got there, unsurprisingly. You scoffed as you sat down, it was such a Seonghwa thing to do. A barista even escorted you to your seat, it was slightly embarrassing. This was a cafe, for God’s sake, not a fine dining restaurant. You shook your head as you knew this was one of his games. He loved seeing you embarrass yourself, especially since he was the one embarrassing you because even in that aspect, he wanted control over you. 

God forbid someone else did it for you, however. They’d be dead by deadlight. You swallowed those thoughts away, they weren’t metaphorical at all. 

Seconds passed by, minutes ticked by, and almost an hour into arriving, Seonghwa still hadn’t shown himself. You gave the poor barista a nervous smile of your own, but inside, you were seething. You tentatively looked outside from the glass walls, you knew he was here. You could feel it. 

And yet, he was nowhere to be seen at the same time. You began to feel uncomfortable, tugging at your collar, playing with your nails, sighing every five minutes, the likes. But the worst part of it was that you knew he was enjoying this. He got off on your discomfort.

You wouldn’t be surprised if he was hiding in plain sight, his eyes never leaving yours as he savoured all the most miniscule of your expressions that told him exactly what you were thinking without him even opening his mouth to ask you. 

Just as you were about to stand up and leave, the door opened, a light trinkle resounding from the charm attached on top of it to signify someone’s entrance. He did this all the time - reel you back in when you’re about to pull away. You hated it, mostly because you let him treat you like this. 

Two men entered first, both of which you are very familiar with. They greeted you with a subtle nod of their head, avoiding eye contact, before choosing to sit in the farthest part of the quaint café. 

And there he was in all his majestic glory. His strides were sure, eyes trained on you like a hawk, pausing to tilt his head at you as if he was examining you, but you knew better - he was challenging you to move. 

That was how Park Seonghwa - he demanded attention. The way he would swallow the entire room with just his shadow, alone, never failed to stun you into silence. He was a siren’s song, beckoning anyone around him to look and listen with just one word from his mouth. Hell, most of the time, he didn’t even have to say anything. 

But the siren’s song was just that; a siren. A subtle smirk graces upon his lips, and the next thing you knew, he was making his way to you. You watched his hands pull the chair in front of you, those sinful hands once held you, bought you comfort as they caressed you. Now, all they did was strangle you into suffocating, squeezing your soul, stealing your essence drop by drop. 

“I don’t think meeting out here is wise, Mr. Park,” you said, cutting straight to the point. It was more so for yourself, the longer you stayed with him, the weaker your resolve gets. 

You refused to break eye contact with him, and perhaps, that was the worst part of all of this. He was still breathtaking. That face once made you kneel, and it still can. 

“Seonghwa, my love,” he corrected, tutting at you like he was endearingly scolding you. It made you sick. “You know my name, why won’t you say it?”

You bit your lip as you weighed your options down. There was always that choice to disobey him, it wasn’t difficult, but the mafia lord had never made anything easy for you. “I don’t think meeting out here is wise, Seonghwa.”

You watched as his bottom lip quivered, the way he attempted to hold his grin was nothing new to you. He loved it when you played his little games, he was more than pleased with it. Seonghwa raised his hand, snapping it to signal the nervous barista who was just waiting. 

“Nothing has ever been wiser,” he replied, staring the barista down as they shakily placed Seonghwa’s coffee in front of him as well as yours, except that you got a strawberry shortcake on the side, your favourite. 

You didn’t have any appetite, and he knew it, you never did every time you went out to meet him, yet he didn’t care. You mustered up the courage to ask him, anyway. “What is it that you want, Seonghwa?”

He watched you push your plate away with a small frown on his lips. “Why aren’t you wearing the ring I gave you?” Seonghwa questioned, ignoring yours. 

“Why should I? I’m not yours,” you took a deep breath, whispering your next words. “Not anymore, at least.”

“Nonsense,” he brushed off, pausing to take a sip from his cup before looking you dead in the eye. “You were always mine. You just don’t want to accept it.”

Indeed, he was a siren. He never stopped until the words he sang rang true even though you both knew it wasn’t the case. Seonghwa was once your siren, and now you regret ever being enthralled by his songs.

“I want to see you wearing it the next time we go out,” he declared, referring to the ring. He paused, a thought crossing his mind. “Do you not like it, though? Is that why? Would you like me to get another one?”

You tried not to flinch when he held your hand, lifting it to give it a small kiss. It burned, yet you couldn’t pull away. “Such delicate fingers,” he chuckled. “No jewelry can compare to its beauty, my dove.”

“Seonghwa,” you sighed tiredly, pulling away. His words still affect you, it was hard not to let them get to you, but it has to stop.

“It’s fine,” he interjected. He poked his tongue on his inner cheek, displeased at how averse you were to his touch.  “No spherical metal will bind you to me. We both know you’re mine, anyway.”

You sighed once more, this time, with a tremble. “There will be no next time,” you mumbled, clearing your throat from the nerves clogging it. “I came here to tell you that I-I can’t do this anymore with you, we have to stop meeting so we could both move on…”

It was the most difficult thing you had to say, minus when you told him you were leaving him, but you had to for your own sake. He didn’t say anything, his face had no emotion, except for his twitching left eye. You gulped, that was not a good sign. He did not like that at all. 

No words were said for a while. You almost broke down and took it back, but no, it was better to end this now than suffer the consequences later, because you might not end up leaving him at all. 

“It’s funny,” he began, voice leveled and calm. They were too calm. “Most people give out everything and anything just to have a five minute conversation with me.”

He took another sip of coffee, his long tongue darting out from his mouth slowly swiping his upper teeth as he looked on. “But you,” he continued. “You push me away when I make a point to crawl down to you unlike the others who have to climb up to me. You are a tough nut to crack, Y/N.”

You gripped the table in front of you, your knuckles pale and white. Anger rolled off of him like waves and for a second, you were terrified that he was going to explode on the spot. The way he uttered your name was a threat in itself.  He sets the cup down without a sound, letting out a small chuckle. 

“You’re hungry, aren’t you?” Seonghwa asked softly, all traces of anger gone from his tone. “Here, dove.”

You shut your eyes tight. His change in attitude scared you out of anything he has ever done, and Seonghwa was a violent man. Not towards you, never towards you, but he was a destructive person to be with. He was a psychopath. 

“I-I don’t want to eat, I’m good,” you squeaked, shaking your head when he took a piece of the cake and tried to push the fork into your mouth to feed you. 

“Come on, doveling, eat this. It’s very yummy,” he gently coaxed, pushing the fork slightly until it was touching your lips. “Say ah, baby, I’ll feed you,” he smiled.

It was a sweet gesture, and if the situation was different, you would’ve cooed at how cute Seonghwa looked. In your peripheral vision, even his bodyguards looked appalled at their mafia lord’s gesture. Seonghwa ruled everything, he owned this city, and everybody licked the soles of his shoes and worshiped the ground he walked on. 

But here he was, feeding you with cake. 

You turned your head again like a petulant child, refusing to eat anything that came from his hands. “I really don’t want to.”

He frowned. You watched as his hand started to shake, but you knew it wasn’t because he was tired of holding the fork up. “One bite? I know you’ll like it.”

“No, please—-“

“Open your fucking mouth.”

There it was. The way he demanded was anything but, his eyes were half-lidded with malice, the monotonous tone in which he spoke terrifying you more than if he raised his voice or grabbed your hair to force the cake down on your throat. His despondent stare penetrated through you, combusting your insides on the spot with how fiery it was. He was angry, you made him angry. Seonghwa cannot be angry. 

You gulped, parting your lips slightly. It was all it took for him to forcefully part them with the fork and roughly shoved the cake in your mouth. You choked when the tip of the fork almost hit the back of your throat, coughing a bit before you decided to swallow. Tears collected on the sides of your eyes, but you forced yourself to smile and nod at him. 

“You’re right,” you coughed again. “I-It’s yummy.”

His arm retracted, his eyes not once leaving your trembling form. “One more,” he ordered, tone clipped. It had a veil of threat looming over the words as they left his tongue.

You flinched when he cut another piece, the clank of the fork when it hit the plate, echoing in your head. It was reminiscent of what you hear in your head before  Seonghwa’s patience snapped. He was a time-bomb; you never knew what made him tick, but you knew that he was destined to explode somehow. 

He grabbed a napkin then wiped the sides of your lips. “You should be more careful, dove,” he chided, voice lowered, clouded with sinister intent. “Wouldn’t want you messy now, would we?”

You quickly shook your head in response. “That’s a good girl,” he smiled, his words kind and gentle as if nothing had happened, but you knew better. He lies through his teeth. 

If you didn’t love him, it would have been fine. 

The sigh that escaped his deceitful lips was long and slow as if his brain needed to process what just happened. The screeching sound of his chair hit your ears, and he was sitting beside you before you knew it. 

“I sincerely apologize, doveling,” he whispered, his voice breaking and cracking halfway. He lifted a hand to touch you, only for the same hand to fall back down neatly on his lap. “I-I just missed you a lot.”

You felt your heart split in half inside your chest, you didn’t want him anymore, but it didn’t mean you liked seeing him like this. However, deep in your gut, you knew that something was inherently wrong. You just didn’t know what. 

“Think about what I said, please,” you appealed, scooting your behind away from him to create a gap between the two of you.  For a split second, his lip twitches.

He looks up at you, hurt coating his entire features. “I implore you to think about it. I don’t want to completely lose you,” he pleaded. He jutted his lips out, doing everything he can for you to look at him with pity. 

You were weak. You were a weak, weak person. Seonghwa pulled you to him, enveloping his arms all over your form as your chin laid on top of his shoulder to hug him back. To your left, was the glass panel that separated the cafe from the outside. It reflected both you and Seonghwa’s embrace. 

The hug looked serene, intimate, to the unassuming eye. Your heart dropped to your feet as you watched Seonghwa’s expression morph from loving, apologetic, and sincere, to something that can only be described as demonic and corrupted. His eyes grew wide with madness, rolling at the back of his head as he tried not to crush in his arms then and there, his lips stretched towards his ears like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“Are you going to force me to forgive you?” You asked,  tears falling from your eyes before you could stop them. “Are you going to take me?”

He smirked, still looking forward, not knowing that you could see his expressions. “No, well, I could,” he whispered, biting his bottom lip to stop himself from cackling out loud at your stupidity. “But I won’t.”

You were a fool to believe that he would actually be sincere for once. This was his true colour. “You know me well enough where you know what my answer would be, and it’s no.”

It was terrifying how his expressions could change in the blink of an eye. His eyes slowly lost that mirth and instead dropped into the most dangerous glare, “So it seems,” he monotoned, grinding his teeth. “I won’t take you for myself by force, not until you want me to.”

Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. 

You need to get out of here. “And what if I never want you to? Tell me,” you breathed out. 

Your heart leapt out of your chest when his eyes met yours through the reflection of the glass, the grin on his face expanding malevolently. He pulled away, making a point to demean you further by tapping your cheek. 

“And so my manipulation tactics begin,” he smirked, his sharp jawline finding rest above his slender fingers. “Though I don’t think I have to make much effort, you seem to be doing most of the work for me, dove.”

It was true, he got you there. You didn’t have to show up, you didn’t have to answer to his every beck and call, and you didn’t have to stay and wait for him when he humiliated you earlier, but you were still here. Seonghwa wasn’t pointing a gun to your head. 

Not yet, at least. 

“You’re mine,” Seonghwa murmured. “The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’d feel better.”

“But for now,” he stood up, all the grace and elegance in his body oozing out of him. He moved so regal, you had no idea why he even liked you. He offers his hand out. “You should go home. I reckon this meeting took a toll on you.”

You refused his hand and he scoffed, and just like that, he left. Completely alone to your thoughts now, you couldn’t help but breathe out the air you didn’t realize you were holding.

It was that tense, things with Seonghwa were always very intense. He always invoked emotions out of you that you always kept buried inside you, yet you always came back for more. Again, the fault wasn’t fully his own.

You were the one who left him, yet you couldn’t fully leave him. 

As usual, that night was spent with you just thinking about all the things that could’ve been with him. In the end, you weren’t strong enough to tell him that enough was enough with all these games you played with each other. 

He resented you, you knew as much. Seonghwa was a very, very vindictive person - he wasn’t the type to ever let go once crossed. You just never thought that the day would come when all that resentment was directed towards you because he was playing with you, that you knew as much.

It took another two weeks before he contacted you again, and this time, he called you directly. You stared at the number on your phone. You had deleted his number, but that was pretty pointless because you memorized it by heart, anyway. “Hello?”

“Hello, love,” you could hear the smirk in his cocky tone. “Care to have another coffee with me?”

The automatic response you had in your head was, of course, no. Seonghwa was an asshole; he was manipulative, and he was arguably the most toxic person you’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting, but goddamn, does your heart always pull you towards him even when you try very hard to guard it. “I don’t know,” you told him truthfully in the end even though his voice broke down your walls bit by bit. “I told you that we have to stop doing this, aren’t you sick of it?”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. “You’re right,” he mumbled, surprising you with how genuinely amiable he sounded. “Coffee is overrated. Let’s go to dinner, instead. How about that Italian place downtown?”

You didn’t have high expectations, in fact, you had zero expectations, but you weren’t expecting that at all. “S-Seonghwa,” you sputtered. “T-That’s not what I mean.” “I know,” he chuckled. If you didn’t know him, it would sound like he was genuinely amused by this, but no. It already had a dark undertone to it. “So how about it, love dove? That or we hit the bar next to it, instead. Pick your poison because I’m not asking for your permission.”

It was your turn to stay silent. The last place you wanted to go to was the Italian restaurant. Why?

Because it was where you met Seonghwa - the end of your beginning and the beginning of your end.

“Let’s just do coffee, then. Just like you originally wanted,” you murmured in submission, but he was not pleased with your response.

“That ship has sailed when you couldn’t make up your damn mind,” he said. “The bar, then—”

“N-No! I mean, no, please,” you denied, a bit more defensive than what you would’ve liked to sound. “Dinner, Seonghwa, please, I’ll go to dinner with you…”

“Splendid, I’ll pick you up in an hour,” he agreed. “Why are you avoiding the bar?”

“Because we know where that leads,” you lamented, your voice almost desperate and pleading. “I’ll see you.”

You sighed, hanging up the phone and not bothering to hear what he had to say. You were pretty much terrified of going to the bar with Seonghwa, because then he’ll get you a drink, and that would always lead you in his arms.

The hour was a blur. A year prior, it was your favourite part of the day - getting ready and dolled up for the love of your life, but now, you just wanted to get everything over with. 

You’d also be excited for the car ride, but now, it was just so awkward to be in the car with Seonghwa. Neither of you talked, nor were you interested to spark up a conversation to begin with. The only time you did was when he asked you to hold onto him as you made your way inside the restaurant.

It was impossibly lavish, as expected of Seonghwa’s finer taste in life. It wasn’t for the regular everyday people since everywhere you looked dripped in money, both clean and dirty. However, all this elegance felt oppressive to you

Seonghwa sat across you, his presence filling the entire space. You cowered at his stare, focusing on the food that was being laid out in front of you. His stare never left you even when the waiter asked if their services were still needed. You could feel your hands gripping the stem of the complimentary champagne flute.

Suddenly, he started to laugh softly. You tilted your head to look at him curiously. “You’re very stubborn, dove,” he shook his head. “It would be endearing if I didn’t want to strangle it out of you sometimes.”

Against your better judgment, you took a huge swig out of the champagne, letting the sweetness of it coat your throat. Lord knows you needed a lot of them if you were about to spend time with Seonghwa. “Unluckily for you, I’m not looking for you to change my mind. I’m happy being independent right now.”

It wasn’t the entire truth. You wanted nothing but to lay in his arms like you used to and let him whisper all the sweet nothings in your ear. You grabbed the wine bottle from the ice bucket that was placed near you and poured a hefty amount on its respective wine glass.

In your peripheral vision, it wasn’t hard to see Seonghwa’s irritation - he wasn’t used to being met with resistance  - but even he raised a brow at how much red wine you were planning to drink. He smirked, looks like he didn’t need the bar, after all.

But his smirk dropped when he realized that you had already finished a whole glass and you were on your way to another one. “Alright, that’s enough,” he snatched the glass from you, drinking the whole thing in one go. “I’m not a good person, but don’t insult me like this. I have standards, I don’t want you face-planting on the floor.”

You blinked, the alcohol in your system already hitting you head-on in a possible collision that will be difficult to recover. You couldn’t look away from Seonghwa, and for once, maybe you just wanted to let go and be happy. “Do you want to know why I don’t want to go to a bar, specifically?”

He looked at you expectantly. “It was pointless since I got this,” you giggled, holding up the wine bottle, which was already halfway empty. The glasses were massive, and you were lightweight. “Because we’ll have a drink together, and then you’ll say you want me and that you’re sorry,” you hiccupped. “I know it’ll be a lie.” 

He stood up, rendering you speechless. Whether it was from all the stress culminating inside you or his audacity, you didn’t know. He offered a hand to you. “Come,” Seonghwa softly commanded. 

You finally looked up at him, confused. “W-Where?”

“Home, you silly goose,” he chuckled. He raised a brow when it still didn’t click. “I’m taking you home, little dove.”

Alarm bells started to ring in your head. You were about to shake your head when he stopped you. “I meant your…apartment,” he spat the word with such venom. “I do not approve of it since we have our old house, but I’ll play along for now. Come along before I change my mind.”

It was how you found yourself back in Seonghwa’s car, the food long forgotten, your mind buzzing. You sighed, staring out through the window, just gazing upon the passing distance. A scoff was tickling behind your throat, this was one of those instances where you actually had no choice. Whatever Seonghwa says, goes. 

However, contrary to what he was thinking, you weren’t necessarily afraid of him just snatching you up and forcing you to be with him, not today at least, but you were concerned about something else - something else entirely intimate.

When he insisted that he walk you up to your door, you couldn’t refute it. How could you when he was already walking at the apartment entrance ahead of you as if he knew where he was going?

Little did you know that he actually did. You blanched when he situated himself in front of your door. “Seonghwa,” you gulped, your hands shaking as you tried to open the door. “H-How did you know it was this door?”

When you left him, you tried everything you could to erase his track. It was almost impossible since the mafia owns the entire region, and you couldn’t go far since you had no money. You knew that he knew where you lived but you at least thought that you were safe since you thought you had the upper hand. You cursed under your breath, you shouldn’t have put his obsession with you past him. 

He snatched the keys from your hands, taking the liberty to unlock the door, himself, but when he was about to push it so he could walk in, you quickly held on to his arm tightly. 

“It’s late,” you reasoned out, heart pounding in your chest. This. This was what you were afraid of. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

He rolled his eyes, taking the keys out from the keyhole and tossing them to you. “Is this the way you treat your guests, love?” Seonghwa scoffed, crossing his arms. He sneered. “I thought I taught you better than that.”

You fisted your hands so tightly, your nails left deep indents on your palms. “You made me entertain thieves and murderers,” you gritted your teeth, not relishing in the memory of the many times Seonghwa would make you sit on his lap while he planned his operations in front of the other mafia leaders. 

“Hoshposh, little one, I would’ve shot anybody who looked at you wrong straight to the head,” he said. “Seriously, though, I’m quite thirsty.”

He pulled on his sleeves slightly and set his eyes on the luxurious watch that was wrapped on his wrist. “A glass of water would be great, then I’ll be on my way.”

You frowned, hesitation rolling off of you in waves. Of course, you didn’t want to let Seonghwa in your apartment, but you weren’t exactly heartless. You bit your lip, the sting of it snapping you out of the lies swirling in your own head. Heartlessness had nothing to do with it. 

You looked up at Seonghwa, heat pooling in your lower tummy, regret churning above it. You opened the door wide, resigning to your desires, leaving the remorse for tomorrow. 

Seonghwa smirked, closing the door behind him before pulling you by the arm, his lips smashing against yours in a heated fervor. Kissing him back wasn’t lost on you, this was what he was truly thirsty for, after all - you. 

And the worst of it all, you’d let him drink on no matter how much your head told you ‘no’. Seonghwa wasn’t someone who you could deny, because you can’t. 

The point was to meet him for coffee, his usual excuse, and only for coffee, but alas, nowhere else is safe because every place always led back to him.

A low, breathy moan escapes your throat as he lifts you up in the air, quickly wrapping your legs around his torso. His lips found salvation on your neck and jawline, planting sweet kisses on your skin that set them on fire with every touch. 

“I missed you,” he groaned against your chest as he laid you down on your bed and loomed on top of you, trapping you in between his arms. “God, I fucking missed you, dove…”

Of all the things he’s said tonight, you knew this to be the one where he wasn’t telling lies. You couldn’t even complain when he tore your top to shreds in his impatience to have it off, your bra stood no chance either. A wanton moan slips out of you when he grabs the small dagger that he always kept and cuts it off from the middle, the cool metal tip sending shivers all over your skin. 

“S-Seonghwa,” you mewled when his lips wrapped themselves on your puckered nipples, his tongue swirling all over it, leaving trails of spit that you always found incredibly erotic. 

He wasted no time taking the rest of his clothes off along with yours until there was no barrier left between the two of you and the hot surface of Seonghwa’s skin seared in contact with yours. You wanted this more than anything, and it was why you were terrified of letting him in. 

“How do you want it?” Seonghwa placed a tender kiss on the area below your ear, tickling you, making your cunt clamp down on his invading fingers as he massaged that sweet spot inside you. “How do you want me to fuck you?”

It was when you looked up at him that had your mind completely reeling. No, you never really doubted that he loved you, but sometimes, love simply wasn’t enough. 

And in Seonghwa’s case, he was offering a little too much. And too much of anything never did anybody favours.

When you raised your hand to cup his face, he didn’t hesitate to close his eyes and kiss your palm. There were no words that needed to be said. 

That night, as you were curled up on Seonghwa’s naked chest when things were said and done, it was the first time you wished that things were different. You wished you were strong enough to stop loving this man, but that was impossible because you knew he would never stop chasing you until all that were left of him were bones and ashes. 

And when you woke the next day to a completely empty bed, tears cascading down towards your pillows as you stared at the empty space. You could still feel the ghost of his lips on your forehead, the reluctance to leave clear in the gesture. But he had to, you’d kick him out, anyway.

However, it wasn’t out of a broken heart - it was relief. Pure, unadulterated relief that he was gone.

Leaving Seonghwa a couple of months before you moved back to your current place was simply the hardest thing you had to do. It wasn’t a decision that you mustered up out of thin air, it was days - months - of decision-making that either broke your heart or killed you.

You carefully adjusted your dress, shimmying your hips to make sure you weren’t exposed. You slipped among the crowd, squeezing your body in between the drunken state of the people on the dance floor as you made a beeline straight to the bar.

Clubbing became a part of your routine. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism to remind you that before Seonghwa, you were your own person. A drink or two later, your hands were in the air, your inhibitions lowering at the quick shot of adrenaline the alcohol provided you.

But it could only do so much. You sat at the corner of the club, just staring into the crowd. Melancholy seeped in your heart, it was pathetic that you had to go to places like these to get that cheap thrill of forgetting Seonghwa for a moment, only for his face to haunt you the moment you stepped out.

You swallowed the nostalgia that threatened to embrace you. When you closed your eyes, you could still picture the moment when you met Seonghwa for the first time. It was last year, you were so naive back then.

Or maybe not. He was just good at hiding his true colours.

A heavy sigh left your lips, your head nodding in resignation at the realization that your date had just ditched you.

Embarrassment clawed in your chest as you curled in on yourself at your seat, your fingers fiddling with the straps of the dress you’d carefully picked out for tonight uncomfortably. It was a waste since you had nobody to show up for it.

“You shouldn’t waste your tears on this beautiful night, pretty dove.”

Surprise covers your features. You hadn’t realized that you were crying. You feel somebody from behind you, probably another patron of the restaurant. You were even more embarrassed that someone has seen you get emotional.

“T-Thank you, kind Sir,” you politely accepted the handkerchief he offered you, dabbing your tears with it. “I’m afraid I soiled what’s yours…”

You were caught off guard when you glanced at its owner. He was hauntingly beautiful. His features were so forward and defined, and yet, there was a type of softness to it that reminded you of a gentle lamb.

”Do not fret, I have more where that came from,” he chuckled. 

“Ah,” you trailed off. “I will replace it for you soon.”

He smiled, his face transforming into something even more breathtaking. A blush creeps onto your cheeks.

”Might I be presumptuous to ask for something else in return? I don’t need it back,” he pointed to the kerchief. 

You blinked, waiting for his response. He gestured to the empty chair in front of you. “I’d like to accompany you for tonight, if that’s alright,” he said.

Your brows shot up in surprise. You supposed that the universe hasn’t completely abandoned you. You nodded, gesturing towards the chair. You had absolutely nothing to lose. 

“O-Of course. I’d be honoured,” you cleared your throat, gazing at him expectantly as he helped himself. “I’m Y/N.”

He gracefully extends his hand to capture yours, a subtle smirk plastered on his face. “Park Seonghwa.”

He was the best thing that ever happened to you. Seonghwa took you to multiple dates after that, taking you to places he said you deserved to be taken to, experiencing things you’ve never done before, and just spending time with him in general.

The next thing you knew, you were falling in love with him, and you were falling hard and fast. Luckily for you, Seonghwa was, too.

You bit your lips, remembering the way his glimmering eyes that reminded you of a baby doe as he stared at you with all the love he could muster in those beautiful eyes. The Seonghwa you knew was kind and gentle, he could never hurt a fly.

”Excuse me?” 

The bartender you got your drinks from earlier interrupts your thoughts. They had a tray with a single drink. It was a daiquiri. You frowned, shaking your head towards them. “I haven’t ordered anything.”

They proceeded to shake their head at you, instead. “It’s from that guy over there,” they pointed at a table a couple of metres away from you. 

As they placed the cocktail right in front of you, you took the liberty of inspecting the man that had the audacity to assume that you were lonely. A year back, you would’ve been flattered, but this reminded you of the way Seonghwa approached you for the first time in that restaurant.

Your sweet, sweet boy. Or so you thought. 

“Can you please return it? I’m not interested,” you pushed the drink back, much to the bartender’s chagrin and hesitation.

Your heart felt like a knife was being stabbed into it. You couldn’t go through this again.

Something changed along with your relationship. Seonghwa was the most patient man you knew. He was the type to cook breakfast in bed for you, tuck you in and give you a goodnight kiss for absolutely no reason. Seonghwa would hold you in his arms, cuddling with you for hours, just laughing along with your corny jokes even though they weren’t funny.

”Whenever you’re sad, just look at the stars for me,” Seonghwa would say. He would give your forehead a tender kiss as he would whisper. “You are my forever star, Y/N. I want the stars to be a witness to our eternal love.”

The club started to feel suffocating for you. Standing up, your wobbling legs took you to the restroom. You didn’t even spare a second glance on the daiquiri that you had purposefully left behind.

Luckily, the restroom was empty. You splashed cold water on your face, hoping it would wake you up and knock some sense into you. This was a mistake, you thought, your hands gripping the marbled sink. You were a mess.

Your feelings for Seonghwa were a mess. He started to change slowly. It wasn’t noticeable at first, but you knew him. He started getting angry fast, he had random bouts of periods where he would disappear, he’d come home with bruises on his face. He would cover it with makeup, but they’d still peek through.

When he told you he was in the mafia was a breaking point for you. You immediately left him after because you didn’t want to involve yourself in that lifestyle.

”My love, please,” Seonghwa begged at that time, tears falling from his beautiful eyes as he held your arm back weakly from leaving the house with your luggages. “P-Please, don’t go, I-I don’t think I can live without you, please.”

You couldn’t believe it back then, that your sweet Seonghwa was pleading for you to keep your love alive while his heart shattered with the weight of your decision in his chest. It pained you to see the love of your life losing it like this, but you had no choice. You wanted a normal life, you wanted to live your life safely, and Seonghwa being in the mafia can’t provide that for you.

It pained you to remember how Seonghwa desperately kneeled on the floor, crawling forward on his knees, broken, his eyes wild with fear. “Y/N, I am begging you,” Seonghwa’s voice cracked back then, struggling to breathe as tears spilled down his face. “I need you, dove, I can’t go on without you…”

His chest heaved with sobs he couldn’t control. “Don’t leave me, please. I don’t care what I have to do, dove, I-I can’t lose you, y-you’re everything to me. Please, don’t go.”

Sometimes, love just wasn’t worth it. You swallowed the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes, and you powered through, turning your back on him for the last time as his fiance, pulling on your luggages to leave him for good. It was difficult to ignore the guttural cries that left his lips as he screamed his lungs out for you to come back to him, but you had to go.

The little coffee breaks he’d ask of you were your little reprieve. Call it a guilty conscience for breaking his heart.  

But the truth was, you still loved him just the same, if not more. God, you still loved him.

Something had changed, though. During the months you were apart, he became maddened - more unhinged, to say the least. He scared you most of the time, it strengthened your cause of leaving because it was a side of him you’ve never seen before. He wasn’t the person you loved, not anymore. 

Your Seonghwa was mellow and gentle. Whoever this maniac was, this psycho, you didn’t know who. 

The bathroom doors opened with a bang, the rickety wooden structure hitting the walls that shook the entire expanse from where you stood. Danger signals spiked fear in you, instead of the usual women who belonged in the restroom, two wannabe thugs entered and set their eyes on you. 

One of them gave you a gnarly grin. You squinted your eyes, you knew of them. Disgust curls on your lips at the sight of the two men who were at the table who sent you the overly sweet cocktail you indifferently left at the table. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” you said, trying to level the situation out. Them barging in meant no good. And there was no one to save you. What is it with men and their inability to accept rejection?

“Who the hell do you think you are?” One of them growled audaciously, spit flying out from his filthy mouth emphasized by the dingy lighting the restroom provided. He marches towards you, pushing your arms rather roughly. You reckon it will bruise.

“Now, now, there’s no need for this,” the other one gestured for his companion to tone it down, leering as he raked his eyes from your head to your toes. His slimy tongue licks his dry lips as he slowly approaches you, or rather, stalks you like a predator.

The moment he grabs your shoulders, your instincts snapped you out. With a scream, you swiftly ran across the room towards the door, but not before giving one of them a good kick in the groin. 

“You fucking bitch! Ow, fuck, wait until I get my hands on you—”

Your heart pounded heavily against your ribcage, pure adrenaline fueling you as more vile words could be heard from the distance the more you walked away. You had no care for the sweaty bodies that you had to go through, all you knew was that you had to run, and you had to run fast.

This was the only time you cursed at how small the club was. You had no idea how far you were walking away from the bathroom, but the blinding lights, the deafening music, they were starting to get to you. You were terrified that they had managed to follow you. You didn’t dare look back.

You had to get out of here. Luckily, you were near the back door where you could exit and get away, so that’s exactly what you did. You couldn’t even regret forgetting your jacket the moment you got out and was embraced in the bitter cold of the night.

“Once again, I don’t have to do anything. You keep running into me.”

A startled scream escapes your mouth, the loudness of your own voice scaring you. Panic surged through your bloodstream. You looked around, and there was darkness everywhere, but no matter how blinded you were, you will always find that voice. 

Seonghwa was enveloped in the quiet corner of the cobblestoned alleyway. His back was leaning against the wall, his hand in his pants pocket while the other held a cigarette in between his nimble fingers. The only thing illuminating him was the faint glow of its lighted tip, its smoke swirling in the air mixed with the cold exhale of his breath.

Your breath caught into your throat. The horrifying clarity of running straight towards another danger was harrowing. Being alone with Seonghwa was far, far more dangerous than anything, however, you’d rather be in his mercy than those thugs inside. 

“You just couldn’t wait to see me again, don’t you, doveling?” Seonghwa mocked, his voice almost low, and frankly, delicious to your ears.

But you weren’t in the mood for his games. “Go fuck yourself,” you hissed, gritting your teeth in annoyance.

“I’d rather fuck you,” he grinned.

His pants tightened as he stared at you clad in the tiniest dress known to mankind, his cock jumping out at a certain memory of you underneath him just the prior week before he left your sleeping form. 

He could take you where you stood, right here, right now. And he would. However, when he noticed the way your hands trembled as you wrapped a protective arm all over yourself, his inhibitions died down. His brow rose when your form shook at the sudden boom of a voice from the door where you exited.

Paleness rendered you frozen. You could hear the same voice from the bathroom shouting, the sound of their voice growing closer and closer as they searched for you. Your eyes fleeted to Seonghwa once more.

He was already staring at you, his sharp, calculating eyes boring into you in realization. He poked his tongue on his inner cheeks, dropping the cigarette on the dirty floor, crushing it underneath his feet. You smiled to yourself ruefully, he was definitely different from the Seonghwa in your memory.

This was his true nature. Your sweet Seonghwa was a fraud.

The door busted open, and the same guy that held your shoulders looked around like an angry bull until he set his eyes on you. At that moment, you knew that Seonghwa understood what was happening. He stayed unmoving, unbreathing in his dark corner as the guy marched towards you.

“You,” the guy seethed, shoving you hard on the same shoulder. “You think you’re hot shit, bitch?”

You gasped when he spit at your feet, his saliva coating your slightly exposed feet due to your shoes. You inhaled, exhaled, repeating the gesture to reel in the anger you were feeling. You subtly waved your hand in Seonghwa’s direction, telling him to back the hell off and let you handle this, yourself.

“I’ll pay you for the drink, if that’s what you’re mad about,” you murmured, trying to sidestep him, but he swayed to the same direction, blocking your way. “Move,” you gritted your teeth.

He gripped your arm tight, his fingers digging into your skin in an alarming pressure where you were sure it would leave bruises. “No, no, you’re coming with me,” he pulled on your arm, causing you to lose your footing a bit.

“N-No, let go of me,” you pulled once more, forcefully this time, but his grip was loosening. Tension gripped your chest, the feeling of being cornered filling your mind with fear.

“Just come with me, you’ll have a good time,” he laughed lasciviously, his arm moving to grip your waist, until it freezes in the air.

You didn’t know whether you should feel alarmed or cry in relief when you watched Seonghwa appear from behind your captor. “Not so fast,” he said. You gulped when you saw him pull something familiar, using it to point at the man who held your arm at the back of his head.

The sound of a pistol cocking was louder than it should’ve been at the empty alleway. Your eyes widened in surprise and fear. This wasn’t supposed to be shocking to you anymore, but the sight of Seonghwa easily pulling a gun towards someone’s head never failed to instill terror in you.

“Back off, bastard,” the man snarled, though it didn’t have a real bite to it. “I saw her first, you can use this bitch when I’m done with her.”

Seonghwa hummed, leaning forward to the man’s ear, his tone dripping with unveiled threat. “Or I could plant a bullet in your head first. That sounds better to me.”

The man let out a nervous laugh, his grip on you tightening further, making you whine in slight pain. “You wouldn’t dare,” he laughed sarcastically, pushing his luck. “Not in a public place.”

Seonghwa’s eyes never left your shaking form. Your captor’s lips curled in dissatisfaction at Seonghwa’s lack of response. The thick silence in the air, yet your eyes never left Seonghwa as well. 

“What else did he do to you, love?” Seonghwa’s soft voice asked after a while, though his eyes held another thing - rage.

He pushes the gun on the man’s scalp, the latter groaning in pain in response to the rough action. “Look, man. I didn’t know she was taken,” the guy defended himself. “W-We can talk about this—”

“Did he hurt you before this?” Seonghwa gave you a pointed look, impatience coating his features.

“Seonghwa, please,” you responded, voice weary and exhausted. “Let’s just—”

“Answer the question, Y/N. Did he, or did he not?”

You gulped. You hated when he used your name. “Just let him go, please, I want to go home,” you begged. You felt filthy being touched, but you didn’t want blood in your hands.

But it was too late, Seonghwa hated his properties getting defiled. He shoots the guy point blank, his eyes still never leaving yours. Shock electrifies your system, unwilling you to move even when your face splatters with blood. The grip on your arms disappears as the man’s body crumples to the ground with a sickening thud.

Seonghwa tutted, clicking his tongue in mock disappointment and disgust at the body laying down in front of him. “Pathetic fool,” he sneered, spitting violently at the corpse’s face, his foot connecting to the now-dead man’s face. “Pathetic fool.”

Another gunshot resounds in the air, and then another, and then another one, until the clicking of Seonghwa’s trigger signifies that he was out of bullets. “Well, fuck,” he murmured before his maniacal laughter fills the night. There was something primal about it, something animalistic.

You turned away, at the risk of throwing up all over the concrete floor, afraid to look at the man’s, mangled, bullet-riddled face. Your vision started to blur, like your surroundings were spinning, as your breathing became laboured and shallow. You tried to back away to try and lean on something, but your legs felt weak.

“A ‘thank you’ would be nice, little dove,” Seonghwa scoffed, side-eyeing you as he put his phone up his ear. “Get in here. I need someone to scrub the floor.”

You knew exactly what that meant. Someone was coming to get rid of Seonghwa’s crime. Your stomach churns with nausea, until you can't take it anymore. You turn around, emptying your stomach of its contents, the regurgitating, gagging sounds from your hoarse throat sickening, the smell of your own vomit making you even more sick.

The more you tried to breathe in calmly, the more out of control you felt. It was as if your body was deliberately going against you. Seonghwa never hid his brutality, but this was the first time you had witnessed it first hand.

You gasped when you were pinned against the nearby wall, your eyes rolling in the back of your head, but still making a point to look at Seonghwa. “Shut the hell up,” he hissed, wildly looking around. “We’re going to get caught if you don’t toughen up.”

You sneered, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re delusional, you monster—”

Something cold and unforgiving wrapped itself around your throat. You gasped, your hands coming up for defense to pry Seonghwa’s hand away from your neck, but all he did was squeeze, effectively cutting your air supply off. “S-Seonghwa…”

A low, throaty laugh reaches your ears before he lets go. Your body automatically lunges forward, the suffocating weight on your neck finally lifting for you to gulp in a large amount of air. Yes, Seonghwa thought, this was what he wanted. He was the only one who had rights to your pain, not some slimy bastard.

“Why do you always have to misbehave, dove?” Seonghwa grabs your face gently in his hands, leaning in to plant a firm kiss on your forehead. “It would do you a favour if you shut your trap.”

“I–I’m well-behaved, actually,” you choked out, your fingers digging on his arms for support. “You always get what you want, anyway. What was the point?”

It was the truth, and you weren’t wrong. Whether that was by determination, force, or sheer luck, Seonghwa always got what he wanted.

Footsteps began to approach, the heavy thud of boots echoing through the night. Panic seizes you at first, but when you are approached by familiar faces. Seonghwa curses under his breath, pulling you close to him to cover your scantily clad body from prying eyes.

Not that he needed to do it, anyone who looked at you wrongly would have faced his wrath, anyway.

“Clean that rubbish up,” Seonghwa ordered gruffly, pointing his gun at the corpse he further abused after taking its life. “Leave traces of it, and you’re next. Where’s the car?”

Before anyone could respond, he threw said gun in the air for someone to catch. “Dispose of this, Yunho, and dispose of it well,” he wrapped a possessive arm around you, gesturing to the tall man who stared at you in pity. “We’re leaving.”

“Boss, hold on,” another person, one that you knew to be Jongho from his voice, alone, stopped Seonghwa from walking. He raised an irritated brow in expectation. “Wouldn’t it be smarter to pin this on someone else, instead?”

You knew of Seonghwa’s brothers, the people who he led and followed him for his wisdom and criminally intelligent guise, and you liked them. Jongho drove you back to your apartment that day when you left Seonghwa, causing him to be severely punished when he came back, and Yunho provided you a crying shoulder, but sometimes, you forgot that they were just as depraved as their boss.

Seonghwa laughed, baring his teeth maliciously. “Brilliant. On with it, then.”

The car was thick with unspoken tension, at least for you, anyway. Seonghwa was as relaxed as ever as he sat with you at the back of the car; his legs were crossed gracefully, and he even held a champagne flute for him to drink as if he was celebrating a job well done.

“Are you going to get rid of me too?” You asked, filling in the awkward silence. One more second of silence and you were going to lose your mind.

“I should,” he answered. Your body twitched with the unexpected response. “Which is why you should be more thankful. Nobody gets out of Halazia alive, not without my consent.”

Halazia was their base where all the operations ensued. You wanted to scoff, were you supposed to be grateful that you weren’t killed in your sleep after you broke up with him? 

“The only thing I should thank you for is absolute nothing,” you replied, your voice inhospitable and unwelcoming.

You turned away, trying to ignore him and cut the conversation, but you gasped when he grabbed your arm harshly, hissing in pain when he coincidentally dug his fingers on the spot where you were pushed by the other man in the bathroom.

“Where the hell did you get this?” Seonghwa barked, glaring at the swollen area of your arm. If it wasn’t a bruise from him, then you’re not supposed to have it. Only he can give you those.

“Get your hands off of me,” you snarled, pulling your arm away to rub on the hurting spot. You avoided eye contact with him, not willing to divulge more information. One man was already dead, you didn’t want another one in your hands. You haven’t even properly internalized what happened, it was too soon.

“I just had a nasty fall and hit something while I was running away from that creep, it’s no big deal.”

His stiffened, his eyes narrowed with unbridled, towering hostility. Seonghwa made no point to reply, but you could feel his temper rolling off in waves from where you sat. You decided not to push it. Technically, he lets you get away with a lot of things. You gulped, remembering how he callously shot someone in the head just by messing with you.

And that was fine, until you realized you weren’t getting driven to the place where you thought you’d be. You picture the familiar buildings that lead to your apartment, the roads that you walked to and fro everyday. You dare not breathe as you slowly approach the belly of the beast.

Seonghwa’s house, your old house with him.

“W-What are we doing here? Seonghwa,” you panicked, gripping the leather seats underneath your palms. “Why are you taking me here—”

“Relax, dove, it’s only for one night,” he scoffed. 

The car lurched to a stop, the brakes screeching with no warning, and a cold gust of air hit your face when Seonghwa opened his own door to get out, but not without turning his head in your direction. “Unless you want to stay with me,” he grinned maliciously.

You angrily stepped out, having no choice but to comply just for a night. Your heels clacked against the wet concrete, not even caring that you splashed into a small puddle, as you marched towards the house without even waiting for Seonghwa. You hesitated for a little, nostalgia was a dangerous thing to feel. 

The last time you were in this house, Seonghwa was kneeling by the doorway, pleading for you to stay and not leave him, begging that he’ll change. Your chest felt hollow with misplaced intentions, but you decided to ignore it for now.

All you knew right now was that you need to wash off all the blood that marred your face; to wash off all the indirect sins that you knew you had no hand in, but still felt guilty about. When you went to the guest room’s bathroom, your heart dropped when you saw that nothing had changed. 

The water felt invigorating against your skin, but peace never came to you. That man, you were the reason why he was dead. You might as well have pulled the trigger on him. As your mind raced with frantic thoughts, you heard a soft knock on the bathroom door, and then the telltale jingle of the doorknob.

“Don’t even think about it,” you snapped, still covering your naked body with your hands even though you knew he wouldn’t be able to get in.

You heard Seonghwa’s dark chuckle on the other side of the door. “I’ll be back immediately, I have business to attend to. Hongjoong is here to address your needs, shall you need something.”

You murmured in agreement just to get rid of him. You would take this opportunity to slip away and go back to your apartment. You just hoped that Seonghwa wouldn’t be one step ahead of you like he always was. He could do whatever he wanted, you didn’t care.

At least that’s what you told yourself when you dressed up using your clothes that Seonghwa didn’t bother to throw away. A scoff leaves your lips, was he really hoping that you’d come back to him? Still, you couldn’t help but wonder what it is that he was doing this late in the night. Back then, you disliked when Seonghwa worked late as it worried you to no end.

“Y/N? May I come in?”

The family butler, Hongjoong, stood at the far end of the room. You greeted him with a warm smile, genuinely happy to see somebody that you knew wasn’t going to take advantage of your presence. He carried a small cup with him with what you assumed was tea. “Hey, Joong, long time no see.”

“Likewise, Y/N. The mansion wasn’t ever the same without you,” he smiled. He paused, hesitation coating his features as he set the cup down in front of you. “I wish you never came back, though.”

You sighed. It might sound harsh, but you knew he meant well. He saw how suffocating Seonghwa was as a fiance. “You can thank your boss for this fiasco. Ask him later, but I’m leaving right now.”

“I still value my life, thank you,” he chuckled, shaking his head. He bowed slightly before he started to walk away. “Call me when you need anything.”

You cursed mentally, swiping your hair up in frustration as you stared at the steaming cup of goodness. You wanted to leave before Seonghwa came back, but if you were being honest with yourself, you felt beat up. Your arms had started to bruise in some areas while you showered, patches of unsightly purples and greens spread all across your skin.

It wasn’t a good idea, and you were setting yourself up for failure, but you decided to drink the tea quickly and then vanish. You sighed, sitting down on the leather sofa, grabbing the remote control to the TV to raise the volume as it was already on, anyway. Seonghwa had a habit of leaving them on even when he’s not around so he’d have easy access to the news whenever he needed it.

Relaxation seeped into you as you took a good sip. Earl Grey, you realized. It made you smile a bit, it was your favourite. Seonghwa bought an entire land just to plant the trees that made them all for you one time. The memory suddenly made the tea taste bitter.

Suddenly, the distinct voice of the newscaster on the television made you freeze mid-sip. “For our breaking news,” they began. “A man was found brutally beaten north of downtown a quarter before midnight. It said that they passed away shortly after their sustained injuries.”

That in itself wouldn’t have been too bad, but when they showed the man’s face pre-crime, the cup wavered in your hand, drops of the tea spilling from the sides. It was the man that pushed you in the bathroom, the one that gave you the nasty bruise on your arm. 

The more the reporter recounted the injuries, the more your grip on the cup tightened. You struggled to process the words, but more so how grizzly the attack was - missing teeth, broken jaw and ribs, face beyond recognition and repair. The words began to blur as you sat staring at the screen, frozen in your place.

 A small chuckle sounded from the doorway, breaking you out of your thoughts. It was followed by a tut, the mocking kind. You closed your eyes to calm your nerves, you knew your chances of leaving were slim to none at this point. Even at a distance, his presence was so overwhelming and suffocating.

“What a shame. Such a handsome fellow.”

You didn’t turn right away, not wanting to give Seonghwa the satisfaction of seeing you falter. If he looked closer, he would’ve noticed how badly your hands shook. ”Yes, it is,” you said flatly, setting the cup down before you shattered it towards the floor. “What did you do?”

You were afraid of the answer, terrified, even. “Whatever do you mean, my love?” Seonghwa replied from where he stood. You could practically hear the smirk from his voice. He was so sure of himself and a bit too close for comfort. “I would never associate myself with the likes of that man.”

That much was true. As lethal as he was, he held an air of grandeur to him that always starstruck you. He could have been royalty in his past life. Everyone was beneath him. 

“Oh?” You worded out, your tone more aggressive than you’d like. “What did you think happened, then?”

Your gaze flickered towards the door, and you wished you didn’t. He leaned on the door frame, arms folded, posture as relaxed as ever. “He must have had a pretty bad fall,” he shrugged nonchalantly. He said it so smoothly, so calmly, that it sent a shiver down your spine. “It’s no big deal.”

You didn’t know what it was. Something passed through his eyes, but it was gone in an instant before you could read it. The way he stood by and stared wasn’t imposing either, but there was something about the way he parroted your words in the car earlier, the way he knew that you knew, that made Seonghwa truly the terrifying man that he was.

You looked at him in disgust. “You’re a psychopath.”

“I prefer creative,” he started walking towards you, his eyes never leaving yours. He stops directly in front of you, his torso in your line of vision. His index finger tilts your chin up until your eyes are meeting his.

For a while, he didn’t say anything, the rest of his fingers brushing your skin tenderly in a way that should’ve calmed you down, but all it did was terrorize you. His gaze was calm, yet it unsettled you to your bones. “My, my, little dove, you are quite ungrateful,” he remarked softly, almost soothingly. “I don’t like ungrateful people.”

He gripped your chin firmly, not enough for it to hurt, but enough for him to make his point. “I don’t know what you want from me,” you cut the undeniable tension in the air.

“It’s not what I want from you,” his thumb pressing lightly over your skin. “It’s what you need from me.”

You frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Watch your tone,” his eyes narrowed as he dug his sharp nails on your chin. You had to suppress a groan until he calmed down. He sighed, his thumb carressing the area he hurt. “Did you honestly think I enjoyed you seeing me like this after hiding it for so long when you were with me?”

The question hung in the air, what were you supposed to say to that? His eyes darkened. “I do everything for you, dove. Can’t you see that everything I do is for your enjoyment and glory?”

This man was delusional. His hands lowered down to your neck, his fingers not squeezing, but the command was there. “I could kill anyone for you without blinking. I’m the only one who will do this for you, because I’m the only one who knows what you truly want,” he took a deep breath. 

His voice became gentler, but that served to scare you even more. The words coming out of his mouth weren’t normal. “You think someone would care for you like I do?” Seonghwa asked affectionately. “You owe me, Y/N. Ask me why.”

“W-Why?” You asked, your words cracking halfway.

“Because,” he answered, eerily calm than it should be. “You’re the only one I care enough to hurt about.” Seonghwa kneels down, his hand unwrapping itself from your neck to hold your thighs. “I’m different now, I won’t let you down, baby.”

Your breath hitched, wanting to pull away, to scream, but the fear had you frozen in place. "I know how you are, Park Seonghwa,” you gulped. “You can't fool me."

"Once. I made that mistake once,” the mask had slipped and the true chaos inside him, referring to when he had hidden things from you. “And I already paid that price, little dove. You left me. Won't you spare me a bit of your love? I learned my lesson."

"You haven't learned your lesson. It's impossible. We are what we are," you stood your ground regardless of what Seonghwa would do to you.

He smirked. "You know I love you," Seonghwa said. "I could wait for you for as long as you need me to."

You frowned, your eyes widening slightly in horror. The confession wasn't something you haven't heard before, but it terrified you just the same. "You shouldn't. I don't love you like that," you rasped weakly. "We've talked about this before."

Seonghwa tilted his head, his face not giving out what his thoughts truly were. You had no idea how utterly smitten he was with you; how depraved he truly was. But the truth was, you could see it on his face. Instead of the rejection stunting his attempts, it made him want you more.

"How long are you going to pretend you don't want me, little dove?" Seonghwa held your hand. He planted a slow kiss, his dark eyes looking up at you as he did so. "How long are you going to deny me?"

It wasn’t difficult to see how his words, no matter how sweet or manipulative they were, hinted at his unstable mindset. “Anyway, I digress,” he pulled away, “Stay the night. You’ve been through a lot today.”

Anger is an indulgence, and it’s something you weren’t willing to feel at the moment. You weren’t angry at him, no - you were angry at yourself. You should have just left earlier.

“I have to go,” you whispered so softly it was almost unheard in the wide expanse of the room. “You weren’t even supposed to bring me here.” Your tone was accusatory. Clearly, you’ve had plenty of blunders today.

“Hmm,” he hummed. “Has it never crossed your mind that all the things you’ve been doing lately have all led you to me?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, but he continued. “Think about it,” he shrugged. “The odds of you stumbling upon me, through the backdoor, nonetheless, on a bar that we had just purchased the same night is astounding.”

You grit your teeth, not having any idea that he owned the property. Had you known, you wouldn’t even have bothered at all.

You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to scream at him and fight him until you were out of this suffocating house. He tilted his head in response. “You’re not a prisoner, dove,” he declared with disturbing softness. “You are free to leave anytime, but you have to behave and you have to trust me.”

“I don’t trust you,” you bit back, baring your teeth at him like an animal. “I never will.”

Something flashed in his eyes - something inhuman. He chuckled, as if he was expecting your answer all along. “Not yet,” his eyes, once again, glimmered with something foreboding. “But you will, if you know what’s good for you.”

You flipped him off, jumping off of the sofa to tread towards the door to leave, ready to shove him out of the way should Seonghwa resist, if need be. You were done playing his games, you were done being his plaything.

Seonghwa laughed, low and manic, as he watched your petite form stalk towards your goal like a cat who has set his eyes on its prize. Your jerked back, heart pounding in your throat, when he grabbed your wrist to halt you from moving forward. 

His eyes were predatory, and you were pretty sure that he could smell your fear. “Behave, Y/N. It’s quite late, and I’m looking forward to retiring to my bed,” he smirked. He leaned closer to your ear to whisper. “Or are you looking forward to finding out how I’ll punish you if you misbehave?”

You grit your teeth, the audacity of this man! You fists clenched to your sides, the ache of rage and frustration bubbling inside you.

“No need to be afraid,” he whispered, leaning in close. “I told you, you’ll learn to trust me. I always get what I want.”

He lets go of your wrist to walk away, but not before he turns his head to side-you. “And I want you.”

A day or two was fine, to be fair, you really did need to rest and recuperate all the energy you had lost from all the adrenaline-fueled chase in the nightclub.

But you’ve been in Seonghwa’s territory, Halazia, for almost a week now. True to his words, you really weren’t being treated as a prisoner. Hongjoong did his best to accommodate all your needs, but it didn’t erase the fact that you were just a glorified captive that he dressed in silk and bound by the chains of his obsession.

Seonghwa always had an excuse, his latest one being that he wanted to see you out since he knew you weren’t going to show your face to him for a while. Well, that was three days ago. It pissed you off to no end, you weren’t completely stupid - it was his way of manipulating you to stay.

All you did was stay in the guest room. Seonghwa has tried to coax you once or twice, but you always ignored him, and you weren’t ready to see the people you used to know that you had gotten close with before you left.

Fine, you thought. If he wasn’t going to let you leave, you were just going to get out, yourself, without anybody knowing. You had no idea how you’ll do it, Halazia was well-guarded, but damn, if you didn’t try. You had to escape.

You carefully opened the door that led out to the currently empty hallway, looking left and right to see if Seonghwa assigned somebody to watch you. There wasn’t any, but you didn’t trust what you see - it was what you didn’t see that you didn’t trust.

The only good thing about this house was that it had a lot of secret entrances and exits just in case Seonghwa needed to escape if the operation got compromised. You had memorized them just in case you needed to escape from Seonghwa, ironically, like right now. 

The nearest one to you was locked, of course. You cursed under your breath, quickly moving on to the next one. It was a gamble, unlike the other secret exits, this one was disguised as a small aesthetic dresser that Seonghwa had cleverly displayed at the end of the hallway. When opened, you would be greeted by random coats for diversion.

You silently moved them aside, revealing a hidden door knob behind them that led to the underground garage. Luckily, you were small enough to fit through without making the wooden structure of it creak. You were so close, and now, you had this one chance.

“Y/N?”

You reached for the door knob, but before your hands could wrap around it, your breath hitched, every muscle on your back stiffening. You rigidly turned your head, meeting Yunho’s widened eyes as they went back and forth between your face and where your hand was headed.

“Y-Yunho,” you pleaded, gulping on your nerves. You were thoroughly fucked. “Please…”

But before you could both react, low murmurs of voice started to echo down the hallway as well as thudding footsteps that signalled a couple of people just around the other hallway.

One of which was Seonghwa’s.

You couldn’t even lament. You knew this was going to happen. Every single time you found an opportunity to seek your way out, he would always come for you. He was always one step ahead, always waiting for you to screw up so he could whatever it is that he wanted.

Your breath got caught in your throat. Seonghwa’s presence loomed close like his footsteps, his voice muffled, yet smooth and cold, as he talked to whoever he was with. When his shadow was outlined at the end of the hallway, you knew you were done for.

And when you heard Hongjoong’s voice from the distance looking for you in panic, you knew you were found out.

Without thinking, you stepped in the dresser, closing the door before you slid in the corner behind all the thick coats. You swallowed, forcing yourself to still your breathing and manage your panic, but the truth was, you felt like you were going to faint. You stayed hidden, holding your breath and waited.

Footsteps approached until they directly stopped in front of the dresser. Your stomach twisted in fear, your breath coming fast and shallow. One wrong move, and all of this would be over.

“Yun,” Hongjoong’s panted tiredly. “Have you seen Y/N, by any chance?”

You inhaled a sharp breath. You had totally forgotten about Yunho. You said a quick prayer in your head, squeezing your body even tighter against the corner. Light passed in between the small crack of the door, allowing you to see Seonghwa along with two people you couldn’t really see finally joining Hongjoong and Yunho.

“No. I thought she was still in the guest room?” Yunho sounded thoroughly confused when he answered, his voice leaving no room for doubt as he covered for you. 

Relief washed over you. You would never forget this favour from Yunho as he stepped in for you without a second thought. Through the crack, you could see Seonghwa close his eyes to reel in his anger, his fingers massaging his temple in nuisance, staring at Yunho, who squirmed at the attention, intently.

“She couldn’t have gotten far. Find her,” he ordered in eerie stillness.

Seonghwa remained in the hallway directly in your line of vision through the small space in between the wooden doors. This time, you weren’t breathing at all, your mind racing. Why wasn’t he leaving?

“Y/N,” he sighed exasperatedly. “Oh, my little doveling.”

Your chest exploded, pain spreading through your lungs as your breath got knocked out of you. His possessive way of calling you out shook you. You couldn’t risk getting caught, so you didn’t say anything.

You flinched when the doors rattled with his touch, creaking slightly as he opened it ever so slightly. “I know you’re in here,” he chuckled, teasing and soft, and so mocking. “Did you honestly think you could hide from me?”

Your stomach churned when the doors opened violently, its hinges almost coming undone. You wanted to cry, but you forced yourself to be still. You were still hidden behind the thick, wool coats. You just hoped your heavy breathing didn’t give you away.

You watched as his dark eyes scanned the dresser and for a moment, he didn’t move, just standing there as if disbelieving that he wasn’t seeing you. He hummed, finally closing the doors. A chill sparked up your spine, it couldn’t be that easy—

It all happened within a split second. You screamed when the doors opened again, a hand grabbing you and dragging you out of the dresser to be forcibly pinned against it. Somehow, Seonghwa still knew you were in there as if he had always known from the start - as if he anticipated you hiding in it.

“You think me stupid, don’t you?” Seonghwa murmured with false pretense. “I own you. That also means I know how your mind functions.”

You fixed your stare on the floor, not daring to lift your head to look at him. He held the areas on your arm that were still bruised, they hurt, but you were wishing that you could just disappear on the spot. But there he was, standing before you as his hands pinned yours tightly against the wall. His stare was intense, his demeanor more so.

“Look at me,” he commanded. He wasn’t playing around this time, that much you could tell. 

You looked into his eyes with equal intent. A glint of surprise passes through them for a split second before it disappears and something akin to proudness appears on them. It was certainly twisted, especially because you just don’t understand just why he was so obsessed with you. Had you known it was going to be like this, you would never have left him the way you did.

In some ways, you felt like you were responsible for his unnecessary fixation towards you, and knowing Seonghwa, he was never going to stop until you were completely in his possession.

“You know what I think?” Seonghwa began, his voice tethering the line between amusement and controlled rage. “I think you think that you know me.”

One of your hands fell to your sides as he let go, only for him to grab you by the hair, bunching them up in his wrists tightly as he yanked your head backwards. Pain bloomed in your scalp, but Seonghwa didn’t care. It was this moment where you actually feared him,  the real depth of his madness were finally starting to come to head as his patience was slowly thinning.

“I don't know whether to kill you or kiss you all over. Tell me, doveling, what do you think I should do?” Seonghwa said. His movement became frenzied in the simmering rage that was surfacing on his face. “There is no point in escaping when the cage has no door.”

You groaned when he jerked your head forward, then pushed it backwards, the back of your head hitting the wall. “Maybe this ought to help you, maybe this will wake you up, because clearly, nothing I do is worth your time,” he sneered, savouring the pain that registered in your eyes. “I give you everything, I feed you, dress you, love you, and this is what you repay me?”

“Hiding isn’t going to do anything for you, because I will always find you,” he continued, his words slow, deliberate, and threatening. “You think you can outsmart me, that if you stayed holed up in your room I won’t notice that you’re missing. Get this in your head.”

He leaned forward, his entire body closing in on you, wrapping you in the same darkness that swallowed the sentient part of his soul a long time ago.  "I love when people think they’re smarter than me,” his lips curled into a sick grin. “It makes the chase so much worth it.”

Something in his words sobers you up immediately. With all the strength left in you, you twisted away completely from his hold, pushing him away with a scream. You breathe in and out, just watching Seonghwa’s unimpressed gait, his fists still up. They held chunks of your hair, but you didn’t care.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You need help, Seonghwa,” you yelled in frustration, lifting your hand to tap aggressively on your head. “You are sick in the head, you delusional fuck, y-you’re…”

You trailed off, your emotions getting the best of you as they clogged up your throat. It might be wrong to talk back to him like this since it will make your situation worse, but you knew Seonghwa was done playing with you. He was slipping deeper and deeper in his delusions and there was no telling how far he’d go just to keep you.

Your heart bled, the pain in your scalp and the back of your head pounding, begging for attention. He has never been physical with you just to get what he wanted, he has gone too far now.

“You want to leave, don’t you?” Seonghwa asked softly, uncharacteristically soft compared to the crazed look in his eyes. He stepped forward, and at first, you thought he was going to corner you again, but instead, he leaned his back on the wall beside you, his head tilted upwards to stare at the ceiling. He turned his head to meet your eyes. “But you won’t. I won’t allow it. Now that I have you, I am not letting you go. Not now, not ever.”

You scoffed, but in truth, the way he said it posed fear in you. “That is not up to you. You cannot just imprison me and expect me to like you after this.”

“Oh, but I can,” he chuckled. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

He started to scoot closer, so close that you can smell his cologne that was mixed with the delusions that came along with it. It unsettled you, the only time you got close to him after you left him was when he was spreading your legs to bury himself in you whenever he’d ask you to go out for either coffee or drinks.

“You’re mine,” he said, more forceful than before. “Come on, say it. Say you’re mine. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll feel better about it.”

“No,” you denied strongly with a hint of desperation in it. “I’m not yours anymore, Seonghwa, please. I just want to go home, let me go.”

He didn’t seem to hear you, that or he chose not to. A light laugh bubbled from his chest, but it wasn’t joyous - it was empty, like he was trying to convince himself that he was right and you weren’t. The two of you must’ve looked odd in the hallways, just leaning against the wall. However, to you, it felt like the hallways were crushing in on you.

“That’s the problem isn’t it? You don’t understand,” he said almost sympathetically, like he was telling these deranged things to you for your own good. You felt like you were going to get sick, it sounded more like an omen than anything else.

He was right - you didn’t. You didn’t want to understand, he could rot in hell for all you care. “Why me?” You whispered, hoarse and broken. It was the only genuine thing you wanted to know.

“Because,” he began, his hand reaching for you. His touch was cold. “When people see me, they think I’m this monster, they don’t understand,” he shook his head. “But you? You are the only one who knows what I’m truly capable of, the only one strong enough to take me as is. The only one who knows that I am actually a monster.”

It wasn’t the entire truth. Seonghwa stared at the fear in your eyes at his statement, he wanted to tell you the truth - that as messed up as it is, he just really genuinely loved you. Nothing about this was normal, but he was never going to tell you because he knew that you were never going to believe him.

The gaping hole you carved out of his heart was still there even though you were right in front of him, he would have loved you forever, and you didn’t understand that.

But that’s fine. He’ll make you, one way or another.

Your throat tightened, and despite everything in you screaming to run, you felt a tear slip down your cheek. His smile softened, and he wiped it away with a tenderness that was almost cruel.

“Seonghwa, this isn’t what you’re making it out to be, you are really unwell,” you pleaded. You hesitated, having no choice but to say the one thing that’s been weighing on you. “You have to move on, we are not meant to be. If you really loved me, you’d let me find another man to love, a normal one—-”

“I love you,” Seonghwa interrupted, the words coming out almost too quickly, exploding with the anger he was trying to repress. He glared at your face with an intensity that was borderline obsessive. “Is that not enough for you? How dare you mention another man in my presence?”

“That’s not what I said, and you know it,” you gasped, thick with terror, trying to remedy the situation.

He forced you to look at him. “So say it,” he hissed. His face twisted into something terrifying than anything you’ve seen. It was hurt, as though your refusal was the worst kind of betrayal for him.  “Say you’re mine, because I will never leave you alone if you don’t.”

It was a threat, his certainty in it wrapping like noose around your neck, but the answer was still the same. “N-No,” you shook your head in defiance, more firmly this time. “I never will be.”

It was what set him off, the calmness he faked shattering before your very eyes. His hand shot out to bang his fists on the wall beside you. The sudden bout of violence made you gasp in surprise. “Fuck, you’re really testing me here,” he seethed, no longer soft, just harsh and detrimental. “God, I know you still love me, you don’t get to pretend when I know.”

He leaned closer, his face twisted with fury. He was dangerous, and you had no way out. “I’ve let you run free for a while now, my patience is waning down. I only stretched it for you and even then there’s not much I can provide you. I even let you go when you told me that bullshit about breaking up, enough is enough now,” he spat bitterly. “Come back to me.”

His words felt like a slap to your face.The sickening feeling of his warm breath against your skin felt overwhelming and your body was rendered paralyzed. You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t, not when his words echoed in your head like a broken soundtrack.

“I’m not letting you go, you hear me?” Seonghwa continued, not caring if it sounded torturous to your ears, and certainly not caring that he was basically admitting that he will completely hold you against your will. “You’re going to take what I give you, and you’re going to like it.”

But you weren’t broken yet. You stared at him blankly, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you break down no matter how furious he got. 

Seonghwa leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours. "I’m doing this for you. For us. But if you push me too far, I’m not going down alone," his voice hardened, just a little, enough to remind you of what lay beneath the surface. "It’ll hurt you, too."

The veins on his neck bulged as he held himself back when he realized you weren’t going to say anything. He really was controlling his anger, but barely.

“You will learn how to love me again,” his words were clipped as he uttered them, jaw tight and just on the edge of breaking. The air between the two of you cracked with tense energy. “No one else will love you like I do. I can’t live without you, but I will make sure that you cannot live without me, either. I’m not asking anymore.”

You didn’t understand what he was trying to tell you, but you were about to. His hands flexed slowly, his fingers stretching as if the need to reel in his rage was physically painful. He snapped them, his eyes not once leaving yours. “Get her,” he deadpanned.

Footsteps began to approach from behind you. It was, then, when hands started to restrain your form, completely immobilizing you. Rapid thoughts spun in your head, the weight of their hands oppressive. You tried to pull away in an attempt to break free, but their grip was just too strong. You stared wildly at Seonghwa, eyes widened as you screamed on the inside.

“You can’t leave,” he muttered, his voice cold and detached, full with promise. “I will do everything in my power to find you, because I will. And when I do, I will make sure you never, ever leave me again.”

He turned around, his back facing you with finality, the true madness of his love setting in your bones. “Take her away and lock the doors.”

“N-No, wait, you can’t do this,” you clenched your jaw, resisting the arms that gripped tight on yours as they tried to drag you away. “Seonghwa! No, please, Park Seonghwa, let me go!”

But you were dragged, anyway, from your tormentor. There was a sharp tug in your arm, the force of it so strong that it made you stumble. They didn’t even wait until you got your balance back, resorting to dragging your limp body.

Each step forward felt like you were walking towards a nightmare you had no control over, and when you reached the guest room, you realized that you knew one of the people who was leading you to your personal hell. You were pushed forward, and before the door shut, possibly forever, you called out to them.

“Wait, Wooyoung, please, wait,” you begged, quickly dashing towards the door to hold it open. “I really need to talk to you, please…”

His eyes held hesitation, but probably after seeing how distressed you were, he closed his eyes and let out the heaviest sigh known to mankind. He turns his head on the other person that dragged you, the rougher one. “Get lost,” he ordered, his face contorted into something intimidating.

But when he closed the door to lean on it, his eyes were the softest you have ever seen. It held sympathy and understanding for your situation, but you weren’t a fool - you knew his loyalties would always lie with Seonghwa.

“The majority of us were betting on your escape, you know?” Wooyoung looked up as he leaned against the doorframe, his hands on his back. “Seonghwa and you were perfect for each other, but that came with a price.”

“Wooyoung,” you sighed.

“Let me finish since I can’t be seen here,” his eyes were hooded as he put a finger on his lips to indicate the decrease of his voice. “Keep it down.“

He pointed at the earpiece he wore, one that everyone wore since Halazia was massive.  His face turned rigid with worry before he turned back to you. “Seonghwa just sent Yunho to the brig for a week.”

You paled, your jaw hanging low in shock. The brig. It was basically a glorified underground cell where they kept whomever they pleased. You wanted to tear up, Yunho went to your defense at the risk of being punished, but as always, Seonghwa knew everything.

The fact that he sent one of his closest friends from his personal team said a lot.

“You’re not going to get far in escape, not like before,” his voice was low, almost soothing like he was trying to calm you down and not make you feel trapped. “You are never going to make it far.” Wooyoung’s eyes turned sadder even further. “I-I can’t do anything to help you, I’m sorry.” You wanted badly to escape, you know he could see it in your eyes, but there was nothing he could do. You swallowed all the emotions that threatened to break you on the surface. “I can’t stay here,” you tried to convince him. “I don’t belong here, Wooyoung.”

“You don’t want to mess with Seonghwa,” he shook his head with equal conviction. “He’s my liege, and I cannot forsake him. He’s the greatest, most notorious criminal known yet, however, I think you underestimate how far he’ll go just to keep you,” he paused, hesitating. “I would very much like you to stay alive, Y/N.”

 Shivers traveled from the base of your spine to the tips of your scalp. “I don’t know what to do,” you squeaked, the defeat weighing down your body. “I don’t want to be his prisoner, I-I can’t live like this…”

He formed his lips into a thin line, his eyes softening as he started to walk towards you in small, careful steps. “I’m not going to pretend it’s alright, because it’s not,” he sat beside you on the bed, his weight dipping on the mattress. He had always been a friend to you. “It takes someone strong to be with Seonghwa, let alone deny him. This is the man that got whatever he wanted no matter how immoral it got. This isn’t the way, Y/N.”

You shook your head frantically, grabbing his hand to squeeze it. “Belonging to him, relinquishing my soul to him, you might as well gag me at that point.”

He put his other hand on top of yours, enveloping it with a much needed warmth that comforted you even though his eyes held pity. “You don’t have to belong to him,” he whispered, voice barely audible. “I’m asking you to stop fighting him.”

Your head snapped up to counteract his ridiculous claim, but he shook his head and continued. “Don’t you get it? There is no escaping him. He will find you even if you’re in the middle of God-knows-where,” he let out a sigh that seemed to carry a lot of burden in it. “I’m saying this for you, because there is no way out where he doesn’t hurt you.”

The finality of what’s been boggling your mind was crushing. You knew that there was no easy way out, but it still hurt to hear. “I’m not going to give up, even if it kills me,” you gritted your teeth, your determination setting fire in your guts.

“Y/N, please,” Wooyoung begged, squeezing your hand tighter. “For what is Yunho in the brig? For what did Jongho drive you away from here back then? And for what did I take Seonghwa’s punch when he realized I was distracting him? He’s not going to let you go, not now, especially not after everything.”

You shut your eyes tightly to reign in your oncoming migraine. “So, what? I’m just supposed to surrender and let him do anything to me? This isn’t love, it’s possession.”

“If you accept this,” he gulped with reluctance. “If you stop fighting, Seonghwa will go easy on you. It’s easier if you stop running.”

Wooyoung searched your eyes, hoping that he conveyed all the sincerity he could possibly offer you given the situation, but all you could see was the sadness and resignation - he didn’t believe in what he was saying, but he had no choice but to.

“Let it go, please,” he whispered, hoarse and defeated. “I’m not saying this for his sake, it’s for you. This will break you, Y/N.”

You shook your head once more. “I can’t give this up, I’m sorry. If I want the easy way out, I would stay here and just take it.”

His eyes sharpened, his brows furrowing into what resembled annoyance, but it still held the pity that Yunho had before you went inside the dresser. “I’m not asking you to give up,” he begged, anger and affection mixed into one. “I’m asking you to stop a battle you know you can’t win.”

You didn’t say anything after that, and his eyes dropped into accepting that you weren’t going to listen to anything he was saying. You’ve made up your mind. Heavy silence stretched between the two of you until, finally, Wooyoung got up to walk to the door. You can see him manually working on his well-crafted mask, but when he turned back to look at you, there was that softness underneath.

“You didn’t hear me say that three days from now, there will be a bust where Seonghwa has to be present, and you certainly didn’t hear from me that underneath your bed is a trapdoor that leads directly to the outdoor garden, one that Seonghwa doesn’t know,” he murmured. There were escape routes Seonghwa purposefully had no knowledge of in case he gets held as a hostage.

He opened the door to let himself out. “And I’m not telling you that Jongho will be waiting for you.”

You couldn’t wait for Seonghwa to leave, it was killing you to wait this long. He hasn’t bothered you at all, presumably because he was very angry at you, but more so since he was planning with the rest of his team, Ateez, about the so-called bust that they will do away from Halazia. In the meantime, you tried the door again. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Wooyoung, but you didn’t want to risk it. It might either be a trap, or he might get in trouble and accompany Yunho in the brig if Seonghwa finds out.

You jumped away from the door, your heart skipping a beat, when the doorknob you were tinkering with suddenly twisted and turned. You backed yourself back on the bed as your door creaked open to reveal someone you weren’t pleased to see.

Mingi stood by the doorway, staring at you in amusement, his eyes flickering between you and the doorknob. You internally cursed, you knew you had been caught. He was most likely outside guarding the door when you tried it. “Just when I thought you couldn’t be stupid enough,” he smirked, mildly annoyed. “Why are you trying to run away again? You just never learn, do you?”

You weren’t expecting to see him, in fact, you were surprised that he was put on guard duty. That was probably why he was pissed. Frankly, Mingi terrified you. He was just one of those members that openly showed his dislike towards you. His presence constantly reminded you of your captivity.

“Don’t project yourself on me,” you scoffed, riling him up. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you nervous. “Seonghwa put you on babysit duty. You must hate that.”

He laughed. “I suppose I see the appeal of why Seonghwa has been obsessed with you,” he mockingly tilted his head. “Stop trying, you have zero chance of leaving. Not while I’m here.”

“I’m not your prisoner,” you shot back, clenching your fists to your side. “He can claim me all he wants or force me, but I’m never going to belong to him like a doll. And you are, too.”

His eyes twitched in annoyance, stalking towards you, his arms still crossed. He leaned forward, making you back up in apprehension. “That may be so,” he chuckled darkly. “But I’m not the one who is caged like a fucking bird right now.” "You think you can just run off like this?" Mingi continued, his voice low, his eyes glinting with amusement. "You really believe you have a chance?" 

Mingi leaned away with a satisfied smirk, his arrogance and cruel enjoyment of your struggle really coming through. He was trying to break your resolve with his words, trying to make you believe that escaping is futile, when in reality, it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Your hands clenched to your sides, controlling your urge to sock Mingi directly in the face not because you were scared to hurt him, but because you were scared that he’ll hit back. “That’s not going to stop me from trying, you brute.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” he waved off, backing away towards the door again. “But the thing is,” he paused to taunt you. “You’re not as clever as you think you are. Even if you get past me, you’ll have to get past Yeosang after.”

You paled, your nerves setting your insides on fire. Yeosang wasn’t nearly as infuriating as Mingi, but he was equally as loyal and cruel.

You had to leave now.

“Anyway,” Mingi turned the doorknob to leave, but not without glancing back at you with a sneer. “I will admit, you have balls for leaving him the first time, but Seonghwa already made up his mind this time. He won’t let you go, so I suggest you accept that now.”

And then he left. You glanced at the spot where Wooyoung told you that there would be a door. Truth be told, you haven’t checked yet; you were terrified that Seonghwa was going to walk in any minute and decide to put you somewhere else. 

But there was no time to waste. You waited half an hour to make sure that Mingi wasn’t hanging around before you grabbed a blanket to slide under the feet of the bed to prevent any sounds before pushing it away enough for you to crawl underneath it with ease, and lo and behold. Your mouth felt dry as you stared at the handle of the trapdoor that could potentially lead you to your freedom.

You closed your eyes, praying that there truly was freedom on the other side, that Wooyoung would be safe, and that Yunho wouldn’t stay in the brig for too long. And after this, you will be gone forever.

Waiting until midnight would be the best option for you. Granted, it would also be the time where Seonghwa’s guards would be more alert, but it was a safer bet than somebody potentially walking in the room and chasing you down the trapdoor. Shivers crept up your spine at the thought of getting dragged back.

The silence was killing you, but your thoughts completely annihilated your sanity. You could just picture Seonghwa’s face etched with fury as he realized that you had, once more, escaped under his nose. But you also couldn’t help but think of the hurt that shone in his eyes. All he wanted was you, and you couldn’t fully fault his deranged mind, but you wanted to be free.

As you knelt to grasp the handle the moment that midnight striked, your breaths turned shallow and laboured. You gulped, willing the tremors from your fingertips to go away. You couldn’t falter, not now. With a jolt of adrenaline, you pulled it open, wincing as it creaked, which was a telltale sign of prolonged unuse. You just hoped no one heard it.

You released a breath you were holding when it revealed a ladder that led down, and that there was a dim light illuminating bits of the wooden ladder. That meant that you were nearer the exit than you thought you were.

A faint noise outside your door makes you freeze. You swiftly glanced at the direction, waiting for the moment that Seonghwa would burst in and see you holding a halfway opened trapdoor, but nothing. 

Without another thought, you quickly jumped into action, going down the ladder, your foot hitting the first step as your hand slowly closed the tradoor above you. The moment you did, there was slight relief that coated your chest, it was one step to freedom after all.

It wasn’t fully dark in the damp passageway, the concrete was still visible from where you were walking as that faint light from the exit shone on it as if it was guiding you to your freedom. 

When you were sure you were far from where you came from, you broke into a sprint, running literally for your life. Your legs screamed in protest, not used to exerting energy from the weeks that Seonghwa held you captive, but you didn’t stop. You were scared that he’ll catch and snatch you from behind.

But that didn’t happen. After what felt like an eternity, the passageway began to narrow until you hit a deadend with another ladder, only this time, it led above. Your desperation was hitting you at an all time high - you climbed the ladder without any hesitation, not even stopping to think if there was someone potentially dangerous waiting for you on the other side.

Before you were even fully out, hands were already pulling you out from your armpits until you hit a hard chest. When you looked up, a sigh of relief escaped from your chest. 

“Jongho,” you whispered, your voice cracking at the solace that his presence had brought you. Wooyoung had not been lying. 

Your heart pounded in your chest. It wasn’t like Seonghwa wasn’t going to find out, because he will, but you hoped that Wooyoung and Jongho will be able to buy themselves sometime before then.

“We have to hurry, there’s not much time left,” he hastily pulled you in a run, his voice strained with panic as he kept looking behind him. “There will be guards stationed here in less than five minutes, we have to get to the car by then.”

Your face paled, but you forced yourself to nod, anyway, working your muscles to pick the pace to match Jongho’s, but it was getting difficult. “Are you going to be okay?” You asked, panting hard.

Jongho’s hand held your arm as he practically pushed you forward, shaking his head. “I told San that I was going to check the other side of the property and station on it for a while. It should be enough for me to drive you to your place, but it will be tight.”

“We’re not going to make it,” you panicked, calculating everything in your head and visualizing the outcome.

His jaw set into a hard line and before you could say anything else, he stopped, shoved you behind him, and squatted down. “Hurry,” he barked a command. “Climb on my back, it’ll be faster.”

You hesitated, your nerves getting the best of you, and he could tell. “Climb! Hurry, please!” Jongho hissed, eyes widened in pure panic, as he flailed his arms to gesture for you. 

It was the best course of action. Whether it was the adrenaline or the sheer terror of the situation, Jongho had a burst of strength that allowed him to reach the car faster than it would’ve taken both of you had it not been for his fast thinking. He quickly opens the door to practically shove you inside it before slamming it close, and before you knew it, you were driving away.

The drive back to your apartment was tense. Jongho instructed you to pack as little as possible. Yunho had suggested that they take you to the motel that was on the enemy’s territory. It wasn’t foolproof, but it would lessen the odds of Seonghwa finding you faster before you could fully get away. Even Seonghwa didn’t mess with another mafia’s territory.

“I can’t check you in,” Jongho said as he parked in front of the said motel. “They will recognize me. Use cash from now on, Seonghwa will be able to trace your cards.”

You felt a rush of emotions, a mixture of gratitude and regret. Seonghwa will punish him when he goes back, you could see the small fear behind Jongho’s eyes. You bit your lips, leaning in on his space before pulling him into a tight embrace. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you,” you sniffled, tears pooling in your eyes. 

He pulled you away to stare at you. “I had a promise to you back then,” he said, softness in his eyes. You were the one who got Jongho a ‘job’ at Seonghwa’s manor after you found him homeless one day. He promised you his life then and there. You didn’t know he’d be a ruthless killer one day.

He held you by the shoulders, pushing you away slightly. “Now go, and please, do not let me see you again.”

With one more grateful nod, you walked away without looking back. Jongho sighed, he really hoped you made the most out of tonight. It was basically a suicide mission for him.

The drive back to the manor was the most tense he has ever felt. By now, he was sure that Seonghwa knew that you were gone by now, the only reason why he was still breathing was because he wouldn’t find out yet that he helped you do the impossible. Time was the enemy. 

And he was right. The moment he got out of the car, voices in his in-ear comms were calling everyone to Seonghwa’s office for an emergency meeting. Jongho took deep, calculated breaths, practicing the mask that he was taught before going in to face everybody as if nothing had happened. 

Wooyoung hastily approached him, grabbing his arm to lag behind everybody as he leaned his body towards him. “Success?” He asked tentatively as quietly as possible. Jongho raised a brow in confirmation, not wanting to move anything else for the fear of someone listening in.

The air in the office was thick, everyone piled in one by one in random spots. Personally for Jongho, he always preferred being near the exit, but he had to stick with Wooyoung this time.

Seonghwa was just standing in front of his desk, arms crossed as he watched everyone with his sharp eyes. That was the thing with him; he never needed to shout nor demand, he was just naturally intimidating. His presence was suffocating, his eyes eerily calm.

He’d be a fool if he said he wasn’t expecting this, like Seonghwa had said once, you were the only one strong enough to match his flame. He knew that there would be a time that you’d escape again, but he wasn’t expecting it to come sooner. 

“Someone messed up,” he said softly, too softly. He gazes at them one by one, none of them meeting his eye. “One of you fucked up.”

Jongho tentatively watched as everyone shifted with unease. Mingi and Yeosang shared a tense glance, but he resisted the urge to jump back when he saw that San was already staring at him with suspicion. He gulped, holding eye contact, anyway.

Hongjoong, ever the calm one, steps forward, the edge of his voice betraying his unease. “I’m sure she hasn’t gotten far—”

“Stop,” Seonghwa’s voice was even quieter this time, but it was the type of quiet that made everyone’s back stiffen. He tilted his head, his eyes narrowing as he leaned away from the table to walk past everyone. His expression was unreadable, but Jongho didn’t want to guess what he was thinking.

For a while, he doesn’t say anything. The silence in the room screamed louder than any rage could, and for once, everyone wished he would just burst out. This calm, quiet fury was more petrifying. Seonghwa wasn’t angry - not yet. 

San looks away from Jongho, sensing the shift, and speaks up with Hongjoong. “We’ve already checked the perimeter…”

San faltered when Seonghwa cut him off with a single glance, shifting uncomfortably when his boss didn't even acknowledge him, lest you count the slow nodding of his head. It was the only indicator of his thoughts, minus the tight clenching of his fists on his chest. 

“Find her,” Seonghwa murmured, his words clipped and deliberate. “And find her quickly.”

Jongho felt Wooyoung shift forward. He wanted to stop him, but that would raise suspicion so he just bit his lip. “We might not be able to this time,” Wooyoung cleared his throat. “We might fail.”

“Your incompetence doesn’t constitute understanding on my end,” Seonghwa said, stepping in front of them so his back was turned towards everybody else. “So don’t fail me.”

Jongho’s heart dropped to his foot when Seonghwa passed him a fleeting glance, a small smirk painted on his lips before he turned back around again. Seonghwa knew, he fucking knew.

“Boss,” Mingi called out. “Don’t you think maybe this is a sign to not let Y/N back?”

The room suddenly turned cold, the silence of his statement almost deafening to everyone’s ears. Seonghwa raised a brow in challenge. “And why is that, my dear Mingi?”

“My loyalties lie with you, my liege,” Mingi spoke, his tone cautious since he knew he was treading on thin ice. “Y/N is a distraction to the operation.”

Everyone held their breath, the tension was undeniable. Seonghwa’s eyes narrow, his pupils dilating ever so slightly as his lips form into a tight, thin line. “I had no idea you’ve gone senile,” he said. “But I respect the audacity.”

In a split second, Seonghwa’s fist connects with Mingi’s guts. The taller groan in surprise, coughing in agony as he clutched his stomach in pain. “Now, now Mingi, you can’t just dish out something and not learn how to take it,” Seonghwa chuckled darkly, tapping the latter on his cheek mockingly.

“You said you respected it,” Mingi coughed out some more.

“I do, as a matter of fact, I do respect you a lot now. But I didn’t say I wouldn’t harm any of you.”

The threat hangs around the air, looming heavily upon them. ”We’ll find her,” Yeosang spoke for the first time, his tone full of promise.

They were used to this side of Seonghwa, but tonight, there was something slightly different about the rage that brewed in his eyes. His patience was what truly made him terrifying, this was true power; something you had never seen since Seonghwa made sure not to. 

“You better,” he simply said. “Or your loyalty won’t be enough to save any of you. One more word about Y/N, I will put the fear of God in all of you. Now, get out.”

No one wasted any time scurrying out the room as if it was on fire. The moment the door shuts behind them, Seonghwa’s calm shatters. 

His rage boils over, and with a single swipe of his hand, papers that were neatly placed on his desk all fall on the floor, shattering the nearby picture frame that held your face. The sound of crashing glass rings through his office.

Seonghwa bangs his hands on the desk, his breaths coming in rugged and raw. When he saw the broken picture frame, like a man possessed, he smashes it further with a solid step of his foot over and over again. The glass shatters completely, it rains down like the shards of his crumbling control. 

“You fucking,” he forcefully brings his fists down on the picture frame, not caring for the glass shards that punctured his skin. “Bitch.” 

“Fuck,” he hissed, the walls shaking as he kicked the nearby cabinet that contained some of his whiskey bottles. He doesn’t care as the slew of expensive bottles came crashing towards the floor. “Fuck!”

The sound of it made everybody freeze from outside the door. Wooyoung’s knuckles turned white behind his hands as he winced at the loud bang from inside the room. “Should we, uhm,” he started, not daring to finish his sentence.

Yeosang’s eyes widened. “We have to stop him before he—”

“No,” Hongjoong snapped sharply. “Are you crazy? You do not want to go in there.”

Another crash sounds, and Jongho’s jaw tightens. He was glad you weren’t here, because this was the worst Seonghwa has ever been with his rage. He watched MIngi’s eyes tick at the next serieses of growls and roars from Seonghwa.

The stay at the motel was the most peaceful yet tense four days of your life. You couldn’t sleep properly at night, half expecting someone in the middle of the day to burst in and just drag you back to Halazia where Seonghwa would be waiting to imprison you again.

You couldn’t stay there anymore, and that’s why you were on your way to the bus station to finally get away. You already talked to one of your sisters, Jinhee, who called you in a panic the other morning when someone was apparently inconspicuously looking for you. You both decided to stay at your other sister’s place, but Jinah wasn’t answering when you tried to call.

The bus stop was quiet, something you appreciated for once given your hectic life track as of late. Your thoughts were a mess, but you were hopeful for peace the moment you got on the bus.

You tried to look for somewhere to sit while you waited, but the nearest one had somebody seated on it. He wore a dark hat that obscured his face, not that it mattered since the newspaper he held and read covered his entire face, anyway.

You hesitated, strange unease settling in the pit of your stomach. You shook it off, choosing to sit at the far corner of the bench to avoid interaction, convincing yourself that it was probably just the nerves making you paranoid.

“Chilly day,” the man started casually all of a sudden. His voice was rich in timbre, and it sounded familiar. “Autumn’s slowly catching up now, isn’t it?”

Your heart rate picked up a notch, taken aback by the unwarranted small talk. You glanced in his direction briefly, that dread spreading through your veins, and now that you thought about it, he sounded oddly familiar.

“Yeah,” you forced out a reply, not willing to engage, trying your best to calm down. After all this, you just couldn’t shake the bad feeling in your chest.

“Traveling far? I’d say it’s dangerous for a young lady like you,” he commented, adjusting himself to scoot closer to you.

Alarm bells went off your head as you felt your skin prickle with the attention. You wanted to say that it was none of his business, and now that you listened closer, he didn’t even sound that old, either. “Sure,” you said quickly. “Just want to get away from this city.”

“Good idea,” he chuckled, shuffling the newspaper and folding it away from his face. “I mean, if people were chasing me from hell under, I would run far, far away as well, but you see…”

Your breath was completely snuffed out of your lungs when the man took the hat off of his face, his head turning towards you with a slow, amused smile. “Like we all said, there was no point in running, Y/N,” San’s voice dropped into a whisper. “I like you, Y/N, I really do, but you are one stubborn girl. He does care for you, you know? It’s sick and obsessive, but he does. And now all he wants to do is hurt you.”

Your froze, your blood hardening into ice. The panic hit you like a tidal wave, where had you gone wrong? You made sure to do everything that Jongho told you to do, made sure that you left no traces of yourself, so how? You felt so stupid for not recognizing San so fast.

You shoved yourself up from the bench, but before you could take a step, his hand shot out, grabbing your wrist with a vice-like grip. “Not so fast,” he murmured, his voice cold now, his earlier casualness gone.

You yanked your arm, but he only tightened his hold. “We’re going back,” he said, his tone final. “And you’re not getting away this time. Unless, you want all the people in here jeopardized,” he gestured his hand all over the station. “Look closer.”

Every instinct screaming at you to run, to fight, to do something, but when you looked around, something didn’t feel right, and then you saw them.

Shivers went up your spine as you recognized some of Seonghwa’s men blended into the crowd like normal people. They were planted, hidden in plain sight, like the briefest flash of the gun tucked in their pants that you knew by now how to spot. They were willing to endanger the people around you just to take you.

It was over. You had no choice but to follow San as he escorted you to the car, the door shutting with a sickening finality. This was the worst case scenario, you’d rather have Mingi because as much of a brute he was, you could predict his actions, with San, you never knew what he was thinking.

Angry tears of shame and sorrow began flowing from your eyes. You knew that this was it for you, your second chance had flown away. Seonghwa and his men had no mercy, and now you’re learning that the hard way.

San wasted no time dragging you out of the car towards your apartment, to your surprise,, but you no longer cared about him, it was Seonghwa that you feared - always had. You could feel it even before you saw him; Seonghwa’s constricting presence was always controlled but deadly.

You were shoved inside the familiar space of your living room, and you didn’t even have to look up to know that he was there, you could just feel him. His power, his rage, hung in the air like thick smoke.

Seonghwa was at the other side of the room, his gaze meeting yours, steady and unwavering. You swallowed your nerves, but there was no point. He just stared at you without any anger or frustration in his face, and perhaps, that was the worst part in all of this. You knew him well enough to see through his well-crafted mask.

You opened your mouth to say something - anything - but what would you say? There was no way you were going to apologize or make any excuses, but the silence was unbearable. Seonghwa wasn’t going to break it anytime soon, but he had no need to. His judging eyes were enough to make you weak in the knees.

He began to walk forward, the clacking of his shoes beneath his feet loud enough to make you wince, and when he reached you, he made no move to touch you like he always did. He did nothing.

Nothing, except hand you a lighter for you to take. “Light it up,” he spoke.

His words were quiet, but there was no mistaking that command in it. Your hands were shaking, having difficulty flicking the lighter open, and it certainly didn’t help that Seonghwa was staring you down. Though you currently hated him, you were careful not to burn his face as your hand neared the cigarette trapped between his lips.

“Open.”

He wasn’t asking, he was instructing. You froze at the implication and everything instinct in you screamed for you to run and resist, but you leaned in as he inhaled deeply before taking the stick out of his mouth and blowing the smoke into yours. The taste of it was raw and bitter, it curled into your lungs along with something else; something that sent a rush of heat towards your chest at the intimacy.

For a while, he didn’t say anything, and you wished that it remained that way even though you were scared that the control he held of himself was going to shatter. “You think you can walk away from me?” Seonghwa finally spoke again, his voice low, still calm, but it cut through the silence like a blade. “Open.”

It was difficult, but you managed not to cough your lungs out at the heavy puff of smoke that almost made you want to gag. But Seonghwa didn’t care. “Keep your trap open until I tell you to close them,” he ordered with a low snarl.

You did as told, the fear completely paralyzing you. His voice was still controlled, his rage was held so tightly within him that it was like the room was vibrating with the power of it. Tears pooled from the corners of your eyes as Seonghwa still blew, and finally, he threw the cigarette butt away somewhere in the middle of the destruction.

“That’s a good girl,” he chuckled darkly. You yelped when he held your jaw tightly in his hand. “Why can’t you be this obedient all the fucking time?”

His grip tightened, not with the frantic violence of someone losing control, but with the calm, methodical pressure of someone who knew exactly how far they could push before breaking someone completely. "Why can’t you behave, huh? Why?"

You faltered, absolutely not liking the way that sounded in your head. You crossed your arms, the fear you had for him completely fizzing out and dying in your chest. “Now, hold on just a second,” you seethed, all the stress of running away and getting caught chasing your filter away.

Seonghwa’s brow raised. It certainly made him curious, so he let you continue. “Seonghwa, you practically kidnapped me with the notion of letting me go afterwards, and when I try to get away from this hell, you drag me down with you. Did you honestly think that I'm a possession you can cling to?”

You were definitely digging your grave deeper and deeper the more you opened your mouth, but you couldn’t take it anymore. All the hurt, the anxiety, the waiting for when Seongha will finally snap was driving you to the wall. You didn’t know how to carry all of this burden alone.

You took a step forward in a burst of confidence, jutting your finger on his chest and prodding him with it like a child. “Enough is enough, Seonghwa,” you said, your voice low and firm. “We were through, we aren’t together anymore. I don’t belong to you, and I sure as hell don’t want to belong to you anymore.”

He clenched his fists, a flicker of hurt crossing his face. Seonghwa opened his mouth to argue like you knew he would, but you cut him off, your voice stronger than you’ve ever heard it before as you finally stood up to him and stood your ground. “I’ve had enough of you trying to cage me like an animal, you sick fuck. You don’t get to suffocate me with your obsession, you don’t get to decide how I fucking live, breath, and exist.”

Tears stung your eyes. They were a mixture of rage and betrayal. The weight of it all was finally breaking through. “You don’t get to guilt me for wanting to live my life, especially without you, why can’t you understand?”

For a moment, Seonghwa’s gaze softened, as if he was finally looking through you for the first time in a while in a different light. He tentatively raised a hand to hold onto you, and his intentions were pure this time as his hand hovered in the air,  but he flinched when you yanked your arm away sharply.

It was too late, you didn’t need that. There was guilt written all over his face, had he really gone too far this time?

“You were never really here for me,” you continued, shaking your head bitterly.

You were done. Done being scared of him, done of losing yourself because of him. Done loving him. “You want to keep a convoluted version of me that you formed in your head, that one that would just stay and follow your every whim, but that’s not who I am, Seonghwa.”

He stood frozen in his spot, his chest caving in as guilt made its way to his heart. He had never intended to fully hurt you, to make you feel that way you did, and for that, he was sorry to a certain extent. Seonghwa’s hand trembled, his palms slick with sweat as angry tears flew down your pretty face. He almost felt bad for you.

Almost.

“The thing I regret the most is you, Seonghwa,” you whispered firmly, but thick with emotion. “I regret ever meeting you and what happened after, but most of all, I regret not leaving you sooner.”

His eyes dropped, the weight of your words crushing his form. “Don’t say that,” he muttered, his voice shaky. His shoulders were slumped, a far cry from his angry and straight they were when you arrived. “I just,” he paused, closing his eyes to take a deep breath. “As fucked up as this is, I do love you, I still do.”

Your breath hitched at your words. “No, Seonghwa. You don’t know what love is, and even if you do, you love me a bit too much that you’re not allowing me to leave a little for myself because you want it all.”

“But, don’t say that you regret everything,” he said exasperatedly. “I loved you with all that I have, I will continue that until I cease to exist. Remember when we went on that trip where you told me you finally loved me, too? Or when we both would stay up all night to watch the stars while we talked about our future?”

He held your hands, almost desperately, as his words  just spilled out from him without thinking. “Those were real, that was us, and you might not believe me, but I swear on Ateez those were all true. You can’t deny them.”

It was true that you and Seonghwa had good moments where you wanted them to last forever, but they felt distant, like a fleeting dream that never happened. “I don’t regret our moments,” you pulled your hands away. “I regret that you twisted them into something dark.”

You wanted to deny what he said to make him feel a fraction of all the hardships he had brought upon you, but you couldn’t. Just like his actions, you could never take back your words. I did the right thing, you thought, your heart aching as you stared at the lone tear that fell from Seonghwa’s eye. 

He wasn’t the only one. You weren’t ready to let go either, but this was a start. It was a truth you weren’t going to admit to his face. You were in love with Park Seonghwa, and you couldn’t breathe because you always will be, but love wasn’t supposed to hurt like this. Love can never be designed.

Seonghwa stiffened, his mind reeling with all the things you’ve finally let out for him to hear. I regret everything. It echoed like a broken record in his head, and yet, a part of him couldn’t let go. He shook his head, trying to reel in his thoughts before they no longer became his, trying to pull in the beast that was threatening to break free from his mind.

But your words reverberated in his skull, the pressure building on it from the suffocating guilt that covered his head. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore, but it was too late.The realization was like a punch to his gut, and he had no one to blame but himself.

You watched him fight his demons, slight fear coming back into your chest, but you waited to see what he’s going to do. 

Seonghwa’s breathing became ragged and laboured as he tried to massage his temples into coherency. Why didn’t he just let you the first time? No, he was doing what he thought was right, because his all-consuming love needed you so much. His mind grew darker and before he could lash out, he walked away from you and turned around.

For a long moment, silence filled the room. You watched Seonghwa try and compose himself, his hands shaking repeatedly while his head shook back and forth. It was like Seonghwa was actively trying to cast out and fight the demons that tried to possess his soul before it could completely take over him.

But when he turned around, the look in his eyes told you that it was too late. Seonghwa knew it was too late, he had done too much, the only way to move was forward.

“I want to kill you,” he softly admitted. “To finally stop your ghost from haunting me. But I can’t live without you.”

The confession left a painful tightness in your throat, but you remained strong and steadfast. You weren’t even angry anymore, you were just tired of him walking over you. “You’ve gone mad,” you stated. “Scaring me isn’t the way to go about this.”

“It is better to be feared than loved, if I cannot have both,” he replied rhetorically, digging into the waist of his pants to pull out a pistol. He stood there, not lifting it yet, but the way he gripped the cold metal of the gun had you trembling in your spot.

You didn’t move - you couldn’t move. Seonghwa’s guilt mixed with his anger, twisting his mind into something else. He never lost control like this, but he had also never felt his heart break into a million pieces like this.

The gun shook in his hand, the barrel still aimed at the floor. It was wrong and he knew it, but you were his everything, and now, not only were you walking away from him, but you were completely disintegrating in his head into nothing but somebody that he used to know. 

“Seonghwa,” you whispered, barely audible from the demons that screamed in your own head. “Don’t make me leave like this, please, put the gun down.”

He didn’t move, didn’t say anything. It was worse than you thought, his mind was far more gone than you thought possible. You continued, swallowing your nerves down, more than ready to plead for your life. “Please, Seonghwa. I’m no one, just L/N Y/N, a 27-year old nobody,” your voice cracked.

Your legs finally gave out and you chose to sit on the floor. You looked up at him, putting your hands up like some sort of Hail Mary. “I was a nobody you stumbled upon in that restaurant, I was born in a dinky little town you had no idea existed. My parents are both teachers, and I have two sisters. Please Seonghwa, I haven’t done anything at all in this life, I haven’t lived, I’ve barely just begun, please, I haven’t finished anything at all.”

You sniffled, trying to keep your tears at bay. “D-Don’t kill me,” you pleaded. “I don’t want to die.”

Seonghwa contemplates. You practically watched the gears in Seonghwa’s head turn, his mind racing in a frantic spiral. You were surprised when he gave you the gun, grabbing your hand ro wrap it around the handle, kneeling down to your level on the floor, and pointed the barrel at himself, the tip pressing on his forehead.

“If you shoot me, what will you leave behind?” Seonghwa asked.

Your heart twisted violently at the odd question. It was more cruel than pointing the gun at you, because you knew that your answer would be dependent on whether you will live or not.

“A world without you,” you answered without hesitation.

You couldn't take Seonghwa's unnecessary obsession with you anymore. Seonghwa stared at you, his brows furrowing as he internalized the answer that you gave him.

"Go ahead and shoot, dove," Seonghwa said. "It's the only way you'll ever be free of me."

You stood frozen in your spot, the gun feeling cold in your hands. You've dreamt of this for so long, about completely ridding yourself of Seonghwa so you could get back the freedom he had stolen from you a long time ago. He looked vulnerable and open, while you were given a chance to make that dream come true.

And yet, you couldn't do it.

And Seonghwa knew you couldn't do it. He smirked. You screamed, a pitiful attempt at it, as he dismantled you and grabbed the gun back, only this time, it was pointing at you, instead. "You could have pulled the trigger and painted the walls with my brain," he taunted, cocking the safety lever. "Let's play a game of Russian Roulette."

"What's that going to accomplish?"

"If you give me a minute, I could change your mind," he shrugged. "But if you give me a bullet, I could change your life."

Seonghwa points a gun at your face, point blank, the nozzle pressing down your forehead. "What say you, Y/N?"

He was crazy. You closed your eyes, resigning to your fate. Seonghwa pulls the trigger, and then nothing. You couldn’t believe it, but still, you heaved a sigh of relief. You should have known that the gun was empty.

When you opened your eyes again, Seonghwa was livid. You release a cry that you've been holding. He grabbed your head, furious. "The love I'm willing to give you terrifies you, but death doesn't?”

This was it. It was this moment that will forever haunt you, because this was the moment that you knew something in Seonghwa had snapped.

Your breath got caught in your throat, the reality of the situation sinking in on you. His eyes gleamed with insanity, his pupils dilated with something wild and manic, and the feverish look in them twisted with madness that made your blood run cold. There was nothing human about it. Seonghwa was beyond saving.

“You’re scaring me, Seonghwa, please, let go,” you trembled in his grip, but he didn’t even notice. He was so lost.

“You think love is supposed to be sweet, gentle, or some other bullshit that’s supposed to feel good?” Seonghwa gnarled with unsettling fervor, nails digging into your skin. He shook his head violently. “No, it’s supposed to be consuming, something that takes everything. Just like what you’ve taken from me.”

“I didn’t take anything from you,” you thrashed around from his grip when his other hand held your hips to settle you, not caring if he scratched you at this point with the other. “S-Seonghwa, stop it!”

At the height of your desperation, you collapsed onto the floor with him, it was how hard he was gripping your waist as he tried to run away. His hands slam onto the ground when he ended up underneath him, but what truly horrified you was when he threw his head back and started laughing out loud. It was no longer the laugh of a regular person, the sound of it was shrill, hollow, and maddened. “Let me explain something to you,” he gritted his teeth, leaning down. “Love can be nurtured and rebuilt. It’s a pathetic attempt to construct something out of nothing, and I will dismantle and reshape yours until you look at me with the same love you used to look at me with before you—”

Your hand flew to his face before you could think, slapping his cheek with such force the crack of it was so loud against the room. You were horrified, you didn’t mean to hurt him, but the idea of what he was saying just sickened you because love can’t be molded from blood and pain. Seonghwa’s eyes darted towards yours, and for a split second, he looked betrayed.

That is, until his face contorted into something grotesque, and he grabbed your hands. You paled, because he started banging his head on your fists violently as he screamed, a horrible primal sound that came from within his guts.

“No, no, no!” Seonghwa bellowed like a madman. “I just want you to love me—”

“Seonghwa, stop it, stop!” You screamed, trying to pry your hands back from him because you were genuinely scared now, not even caring that your hands were hurting really bad from the hardness of his head.

“Stop!”

He paused, eyes bulged with fury. He lets go of your hands and you let them fall to your sides as you watch him get off of you to drop on his knees and bang his fists on your wooden floor. “I can’t take this anymore,” his breath came in jagged rasps. “I”m not crazy, fuck. Fucking hell, Y/N. I just want you.”

He broke down. You sat down, completely scooting away from him, watching as his tears fell down. His sobs, you were terrified of how guttural and broken they sounded. It was the image of a man who had lost his mind so long ago. “How can you do this to me?” Seonghwa growled through his tears. “This is the second time you left me, how can you fucking do this to me?”

His forehead was pressed against the unforgiving surface of the floor. His sobs were quiet at first, and it did hurt to hear. You clearly weren’t the only one suffering whether it was wrong or right. Soon enough, his cries became louder, more devastatingly raw, and more desperate.

Against your better judgment, you not only felt fear for yourself, but for Seonghwa as well. A split second of thought passes through you, had you made him like this? You knew that wasn’t the case, but as you stared at the tremors that shook his entire frame, you couldn’t help but think that you had some sort of part in this.

This wasn’t Seonghwa, what had become of the man you used to love?

Your heart pounded in your chest when his gaze met yours. You didn’t even have time to scream as he charged towards you to grip your shoulders. “Love me,” Seonghwa grinned, teeth bared, eyes widened with insanity. “That should fix this, love me once more, pretty dove. Be mine again.”

“You don’t know what you want,” you back up, terror seeping in your bones. 

“No, you don’t understand,” he grabbed your shoulders tighter and a yelp slipped your lips. He tightened his hold, his eyes widening a bit more that he resembled a mental asylum patient. ”Love me.”

Tears fall down your eyes in sheer horror. Seonghwa bites his lips, groaning in pleasure at your scared display. You flinched when the back of his shaking hands tried to caress your cheeks. 

It was a mistake. His eyes squint dangerously, yet his lips still remained in that disturbed smile, frozen in his face perpetually. “Seonghwa, please, you’re scaring me—-“

“I love you so much, dove,” he cooed mockingly. His fists bunched up your hair in a tight bun and pulled on your head. “Why is it so fucking difficult for you to love me back?”

Pitiful screams erupt from your mouth as Seonghwa rattled your head around, as if doing so would make you change your mind. Your hands tried to pry his hands, the pain on your scalp blooming bigger. “Seonghwa, s-stop, please! Please!”

To your utter surprise, amidst your dizziness, he does stop. Your eyes were nearly rolling behind your head and if he didn’t stop, you might have thrown up. His tear-streaked, bloodshot eyes emphasized the current state of his mind as he cradles your face in between his hands almost lovingly,

Almost. It felt infantilizing. It made you sick.

“Are you going to love me now?” Seonghwa asked one more time, his eyes flicking between tenderness and madness. “Do you fucking love me now?”

A strained whimper escapes your throat, a choked out cry accompanying it. It was a sick symphony; a travesty made worse when Seonghwa leaned in until his lips were touching the shell of your ear.

"Tell me you love me," he ordered, his voice deceptively soft.  "I might do something you and I will both regret if you don't."

You swallowed, quivering with intense dread. Your knees threatened to buckle under all the weight of what Seonghwa was demanding of you at this very moment. "I-I love you, please..."

You held your breath when Seonghwa put his fingers on either side of your mouth, stretching them sideways to give the illusion that you were actually smiling. It was something straight out of a horror film, your tears wouldn't stop falling as he literally forced a smile out of you.

"That wasn't so hard, wasn't it? You did it," he praised, stroking your hair gently like he wasn't doing anything wrong. To be fair, in his mind, he wasn't doing anything wrong.

You jumped when he suddenly grabbed your chin and squeezed your cheeks together. It was slightly painful, and it elicited a pained groan from you. "But, I don’t believe you."

He pushed your face away with such a force, your head snapped to the side. It was when your legs lost their strength and you crumpled to the ground in one heap of a mess. And you knew deep in your heart, Seonghwa’s show of cruelty wasn’t what was truly crushing you.

The most painful thing about all of this was that despite all of this insanity, despite all the chaos and madness, was that you weren’t lying - you still loved Seonghwa. You still loved him with every fiber of your being.

True imprisonment wasn’t him forcing you into a room and locking you in and not letting you go until he was satisfied, it was all these feelings trapped in your heart even if it threatened to tear you apart. Seonghwa was not a good person, he was a monster, yet the love still lingered, clinging to you like a disease.

This pain in your heart, it was the proof that you still loved him. And that is the worst of it, you knew better than this.

Finally, something in Seonghwa’s chest began to lift as he stared at your pitiful form. When he closed his eyes, for what felt like an eternity, images of your smile filled his head. For a moment, he was filled with the love he felt for you for the first time, that pureness before it got tainted with something dark.

“I’ll let you go,” he whispered brokenly. His eyes filled with a broken kind of longing, eyes searching your face to read your expression. “I love you, Y/N. God, I love you. But I’m letting you go. I can’t live like this, either. I have an organization waiting for me.”

He hesitated, his voice hoarse with resignation. “One last time. Before you go. One last night, together. No more pain, no more bitterness. Just us.”

You almost didn’t want to believe it, was Seonghwa really going to let you go? Surely, it couldn’t be this easy. You highly doubted what he said, just staring at him with suspicion. He sighed frustratedly, his hands combing his hair in a mess and letting them hang over his face. You frowned, the state of his hair was the state of his mind. He hated it getting messed up.

His words came out strained. For a second, you felt bad for him. He was giving up, Seonghwa never gave up, but this was it, your ticket to freedom. “I would never stop wanting you, and needing you, Y/N. You have to get away from me.”

“Okay,” you whispered, trying to summon the courage to feel what you had in your heart even if it was for tonight. “One last time.”

“Prove it,” he suddenly blurted out. His eyes locked with yours, and your chest almost exploded with the urgent need in them. “I want to believe you, dove, I really do. I can see it in your eyes. Come with me.”

Here come the excuses that fuel the illusions, but you’d rather feel something, than nothing at all. 

You should have felt repulsed, but here you were, grabbing the hand that he offered until he pulled you to the other room, one that you knew all too well. Seonghwa’s lips were on yours before you could think of anything else. 

A groan sounds from the back of his throat as he pins you to the wall, his kisses frantic and desperate as if he was trying to feed his own illusions. You opened your mouth to take his intruding tongue, the wet muscle exploring the crevices of your mouth like he’s never done it before.

You wanted to cry, how could you still give him all of you when he was a far cry from the person you used to know? You suddenly didn’t know who was truly insane here, the roots of his madness had slowly uprooted themselves in you and it was difficult to pluck them away at this point.

You hated this, even as his mouth was hot and bruising against yours, because despite the danger in his eyes and the way his hands shook with the need to possess you, your heart still ached to reach for him.

“H-Hwa,” you gasped when he pulled your head backwards by your head, exposing your beck to his desires.”

“Shhh,” he hushed you, burying his head on the crook of your neck, wasting no time planting his love bites to mark you, the one he knew that drove you crazy. Stars aligned your vision as he sucked the delicate skin of your neck, taking his time to graze his teeth on them and alternating between the two.

You’d really rather feel something, than nothing at all.

He grabbed your hand, firmly guiding it to his crotch, using his other hand to unzip his pants and lower them. He wraps your hand on his aching cock, gasping softly as you feel it hard and pulsing in your hand. “F-Fuck, baby,” he hissed. “Touch me, please, I-I need it.”

Your breathing grew faster as you closed your hand around it and began stroking it. His moans of pleasure hit your ear followed by the sensual calling of your name that slipped from his tongue and you couldn’t help but squeeze him. You cried out in surprise when both his hands quickly slipped under your shirt and grabbed your breasts, his fingers digging in deep.

“Seonghwa! H-Hwa,” you breathed out, not caring for the consequences. You forgot the fear, just focusing on his lips that still attacked your neck.

“Take your panties off, dove,” he panted, his ragged breaths against your ear turning the last coherent parts of your brain into mush. “Now, love dove, please.”

You didn’t let his cock go - you didn’t want to - turning your head a bit to whisper in his ear, “Yes, mommy,” in the most sensual voice you’ve ever mustered, surprising even yourself. You obeyed, your panties hitting the floor.

“Oh, fuck, my love, y-you can’t just do that,” he growled, shuddering against your skin.

“W-Why? I like the way you touch me,” you breathed out as his fingers adeptly plucked your nipples with his fingers, rolling them in between to stimulate pleasure out of you in the best way possible.

He chuckled, planting a soft kiss on your temple. “Let go.”

You pouted in dissatisfaction when his hands stopped fondling your breasts and pulling yours away from his cock, but your eyes widened when he lifted one of your legs up and held it up, pressing onto your body impossibly closer. “Look at me,” he grunted. “Look at me.”

You’ve never been fucked standing up before. You kept your eyes on him, almost exploding at how hooded and lidded they were as sweat trailed down from his temples to his lashes. “Hwa, o-oh my God, mmm,” you moaned out when he positioned his cock in between your pussy lips.

He gives you a lazy smile as he rubs the head on your clit, satisfaction rolling through him at the ecstasy written on your face. “You want it?” Seonghwa softly asked even though he was aching to plunge inside you immediately.

You found yourself questioning the reality of what was happening, doubting, but your body had other plans. You haven’t seen Seonghwa smile without any malice in a long, long time. You lifted your head, you had to lean it against Seonghwa’s own forehead since he was basically towering over you. You heard his gulp hard, watched him close his eyes. It was all he needed to know.

“Seonghwa,” you cried out when he started to enter you, his hand snaking on your behind to push you towards his intruding cock, completely filling you to the brim with his throbbing thickness. The both of you still had your tops on, but it didn’t stop his heat from migrating towards you. “S-So good.”

“Oh, fuck,” he growled under his breath, burying his head on your shoulders once more to savour the sensation of your pussy clenching around him as he began thrusting into you with a brutal pace of his hips. “Hold on tight, sweetie, I’m going to fuck you harder, yeah?”

“M-Mhhm—Hwa, mmm, Hwa!” Your cries were loud and grating against your throat, the pleasure overtaking all of your senses. You were pretty sure his men heard it from outside the house. You didn’t care, all you felt was Seonghwa’s hot breath against your ear as he nibbled on it.

You gasped when he pulled out momentarily to peel you off the wall. He turned you around before he pushed you again, growling as his cock entered you from behind this time. You couldn’t stop the blush forming on your cheeks as you faced the floor-length mirror you had in your room, Seonghwa’s dark eyes watching your tits sway back and forth from his thrusts.

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” he taunted, his hand groping one of your tits. “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Look at you, fucking yourself back on my cock.”

You cried as he hit a particular spot inside you as your hips buckled to meet his. He points at somewhere in particular. “Why don’t you be a sweetheart and give that gun back to me?”

You didn’t care anymore, you were drowning in pleasure, far too gone to think about what he was asking you. You scrambled, getting his pistol from the nightstand where he put it earlier and handed it to him. “S-Seonghwa—”

“I love you so fucking much, you don’t even understand,” he groaned amidst the slapping of skin on skin echoing through the walls of your bedroom. Your hips stilled momentarily when he pointed the gun on the back of your head. “Relax,” he chuckled. “It’s not loaded, remember?”

You licked your lips, actually ashamed at the arousal that coated your inner walls, subconsciously clenching on Seonghwa’s cock at the image you saw on the mirror in front of you. “Fuck me,” he mouthed, digging the gun into your hair.

“Fuck, Seonghwa,” you choked out, moving your hips once more to feel his thick length move inside you. This wasn’t supposed to be hot, it wasn’t supposed to be this much of a turn on for you, but it was.

“You wanna know something, baby?” Seonghwa leaned towards your ear, his grunts spurring your hips to move backwards and forward. “You’re just as sick as I am. You really should be ashamed of yourself for getting turned on about this.”

You moaned impossibly louder as you shoved your behind faster on him over and over again, his full length stretching you out with each thrust. This image will be ingrained in Seonghwa’s brain forever, and he wasn’t going to last another second longer. “G-Gonna come, baby—fuck.”

You gasped, clamping around his length as you felt his warmth fill up your insides. Seonghwa growled loudly, his breathing strained and laboured as he thrust in a couple more times before suddenly pulling out and kneeling down. “H-Hwa, what are you—”

Your eyes rolled at the back of your head at his tongue’s onslaught, your arousal mixed with his sticky cum dripping down from your hole all the way down his tongue as he lapped on it, some of the excess trailing down from your thighs all the way down to your feet. Your hands planted themselves on Seonghwa’s hair, unconsciously pulling on it as you continued to cream in his mouth.

The way his tongue rolled on your sensitive bud had your knees buckling, but Seonghwa made sure to keep you up, not even bothering to pause, and just like a hurricane, the force of your orgasm knocked the wind out of your lungs as the hot, searing flash of white blinded you for a couple of second.

It set you on fire, and he dove at your pussy with enthusiasm. Seonghwa took long, broad licks of your pussy, pausing every so often to push his whole tongue into you, wiggle it around, and then focus on your clit.

He repeated this pattern a dozen times, you had your hands in his hair, and as you approached orgasm, your grip got tighter and tighter. Seonghwa groaned at the sensation, and finally, you let loose with another loud moan, forcing his face into you even further as you reached your second climax. “Seonghwa…”

“Just like that, baby, come on my tongue, mmm,” Seonghwa coaxed you through the wild shaking of your body until you let out the deepest sigh accompanied with a small whine of overstimulation. His licks slowed down, his hands caressing your soft thighs, before finally stopping to stand back up.

“Get on the bed,” he held your arm and slightly pushed you towards it without even waiting for your response.

You blinked repeatedly at him. “W-What?”

“You heard me,” he deadpanned, unbuttoning his crisp, white shirt before tossing it randomly somewhere along with the gun. “On your back. I’m not done fucking you.”

You weren’t supposed to be turned on by that, but you were. You swallowed when you looked down and realized he was still fully hard even after coming inside you. You did as told, trying hard not to stutter in your steps as you laid on your bed, letting Seonghwa spread your legs to position himself in between them.

“Arms up,” he whispered. You did as told without hesitation, letting him also take your shirt off along with your bra until you were completely bare beneath him. He groaned at the sight of you, especially your glistening pussy, still half-full with his cum. “Stubborn as you are, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, leaning down to capture your lips.

“I want you inside me," you whispered to his mouth and his eyes closed in bliss as you guided his hard cock to your wet, slick pussy.

For a moment, you forgot how deranged he was. Seonghwa poured all the love, no matter how crazed it was, his affection, and his passion in the kiss. You quickly accommodated him, kissing him back just as passionately, immediately tasting yourself and him on your tongue. “Mhhm,” you whimpered as you felt his cock slowly slide into you.

He pulled away to whisper against your mouth. “Wrap your legs around me, love.”

You did as told, moaning in his mouth as he pushed himself more until he was, once again, all the way inside you as deeply as he could. You swallowed Seonghwa’s moans, his thrusts shallow. He would pull in just enough for the tip to remain before slowly thrusting back into you. 

He was as gentle as possible, but it wasn’t going to last long. You hoped it didn’t last.

“Fuck, Y/N, this pussy is mine,” Seonghwa growled, giving it to you exactly as you wanted - hard, fast, rough -  not caring if you were a screaming mess. He just kept pounding you down the mattress and it shook the bed with how forceful he was.

“Tell me you love me, even if it’s just for tonight,” he begged, eyes filled with unshed tears as he stared down at you. “Even if it’s a lie, tell me you love me.”

But that was the thing. It wasn’t going to be a lie. His eyes widened a bit when he realized that you weren’t going to be lying. 

“I love you, Hwa. I love you,” you sniffled with tears of your own. 

He smiled. He smiled. “I love you, too, my dear,” he whispered. “I really do.”

“Hwa, Hwa, H-Hwa, f-fuck,” you clenched at the sight of him on top of you, the usual prim and proper look on him long gone, replaced by someone primal who devoured you whole. 

“Louder, baby,” he groaned out loudly, his eyes dropping heavily with lust, his hips slamming onto your ass obscenely. “I want the entire neighbourhood to know who you belong to, f-fuck.”

His groans were just as loud as yours, it was honestly such a turn on. He smirked at your fucked out expression. “Look at you, baby,” he chuckled darkly, leaning down to press lightly on your neck. “Fuck, look at you going dumb around my cock, yes, squeeze me, love, squeeze my fucking cock.”

You didn’t want to be fucked anymore, you needed to be destroyed. “Fuck, yes, just like that, my love, feel my fucking cock deep in you,” he panted out, slamming into you even harder.

He was going deeper in you with all his might, sweat dripping down from his forehead to your chest. His arms rippled as he supported his own weight and you felt his back muscles moving as he continued with his assault on your poor pussy. 

“D-Don’t stop, Hwa, please, keep f-fucking,” you begged, stars lighting up your vision everytime you felt the tip of his cock hit the back of your pussy.

You could hear Seonghwa groan and curse earnestly, barely audible over the hard smacks of your hips against the solid wall of his thighs. You could barely keep yourself together as he used you like a toy. “My only purpose is to fuck you over and over again,” he gritted out, holding your head in his hands as your body went back and forth on his cock. “You ready to take my cum again?”

You nodded, eyes wide in anticipation. “Y-Yes, mommy, give me your cum, please.”

His hips stuttered, his mouth dropping down, roughly pounding into you. “You, fuck,” he moaned out, his voice roaring loudly in the air. “Y-You will never, ever be satisfied with someone else once I’m through with you.”

Seonghwa’s face twisted in concentration, his teeth gritting as his thrusts slowed down, and you gasped audibly when you felt another round of his seed warm the walls of your pussy. “Y/N, dove, a-ah, fuck,” he whimpered, his voice high pitched with all the pleasure he felt as he pulsated inside you.

You were delirious at this point, but when he gripped your legs tightly once more to hoist them up his shoulders, you sobered up really quick. You squealed pathetically, his reinsertion setting your nerves on fire. “H-Hwa, f-fuck–”

“That’s it, baby,” Seonghwa moaned, his eyes fluttering close, biting his bottom lip at the quivering sensation that ruled his body. Overstimulation threatened to snap his cock into two, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted all of you.

“Baby, fuck, ngh,” he whined, his deep voice absolutely nowhere to be found and, God, it absolutely did something to you. His eyes closed shut, his hips stuttering in the cadence of his never-ending thrusts. You didn’t have time to be surprised, Seonghwa was insane. Surely, it didn’t just stop there. 

Your lips crashed together once more in a hungry kiss, Seonghwa’s hips pistoning into you in and out, grunts of pain reaching your ears. “I’m g-gonna keep fucking you,” he gritted his teeth, pain blooming on his groin, pleasure just right behind it. “I’m not gonna stop…”

He completely engulfed you in his arms as your legs dropped down to his waist to tighten your grip on him, pulling him impossibly closer to you, grinding onto his body with a delicious friction.

If it was possible, the overstimulating pain made Seonghwa rougher, more intense, and more desperate than ever before. The bed squeaked beneath you but you could barely hear it over Seonghwa’s roars. “You’re mine, Y/N, you’re all mine, fuck,” he growled, his teeth sinking into your shoulder. “Mine.”

“Seonghwa, a-ah, S-Seonghwa, wanna c-come,” you whined at the pain, but it just made him bite deeper. It was all you needed to feel that familiar tickle in your groin, and your heat began to wrap around him even tighter at the sensation. “O-Oh, S-Seonghwa, come inside me—”

It was all he needed to come undone. You gasped audibly when he put his hands behind your head to forcibly make you look him in the eye. His eyes blazed with fury and determination amidst the pain of his cock driving in and out of you. The insanity was back, and he made sure you saw it. 

“I’ll breed you. Put my babies in you so you’d never leave me again,” he panted, hilting himself with one final thrust before yelling out on your shoulders, barely muffling the sound. 

You weren’t completely drowning in that much pleasure to agree. “H-Hwa, baby, t-this isn’t right,” you whimpered, mouth dropped open at the tingling sensation another orgasm wanted to bring. 

You felt his seed shoot inside you one final time and it was all you needed. “Come, baby, come on my cock, please, please, please, come on my fucking cock,” he gasped as the pleasure become to much for him. 

Your body began to seize against his hold. Seonghwa covered your lips with his with a kiss that spoke volumes. He let you moan onto his tongue as your cunt pulsed all around his cock, reaching a euphoria your mind couldn’t comprehend. You both stayed locked together, savouring the comedown, but not really ready to let go as of yet.

And when Seonghwa finally pulled out, he couldn’t help the growl that emitted from the back of his throat as his cum began spilling out of you in copious amounts. Even he was surprised at how much cum was spilling out of your used, puffy cunt. His cock was numb. 

He smirked, it was all worth it.

“So, this is it, I suppose,” you breathed out, laying down in bed tiredly, carefully lifting the blankets to cover yourself. Not that you needed to keep decency. “I hope you know that I do care for you, but I also want you to know that we both need time away to heal from each other.”

You looked at him, searching his face for any sign of manipulation or desperation, but all you saw was raw, unguarded emotion. The kind you hadn’t seen from him in months. He sighed, turning to his side and facing you. “Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa muttered.

You nodded your head, awaiting his question. “Have you ever wondered what we could have been if I was just Park Seonghwa? Not the mafia lord, not the criminal, not the murderer. Just Seonghwa.”

What he was asking of you hit you harder than you thought. It made sense that he’d ask, it was the main reason you left, after all. “Every single day,” you admitted. “I would imagine we’d be married by now, maybe we’d have had our first child, too.”

Seonghwa let out a laugh that sounded more self-deprecating than anything. It was soft, but full of pain - the pain of recognizing that the what-ifs would remain just that. “When you walked out on me,” he exhaled slowly. “I could’ve stopped you, I could’ve tried harder, maybe made more false promises. Believe it or not, I did give you space.”

“You did,” you stated, rather than asked, your voice cracking. You weren’t ready to talk about these, but this might be the last time you’d ever see Seonghwa.

“I did,” he confirmed. “Would you have come back to me if I didn’t chase you around?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. You let the question linger in the air, because this was something you’d never asked yourself before. “I don’t know,” you answered. “And we’ll both never know. We can’t change what happened, and we can’t rewrite the past.”

Seonghwa met your gaze again, and this time, there was no anger and no regret, just the aching kind of understanding as his stare was fixed towards you. There was something in the intensity of his stare that made you catch your breath. He didn’t blink, nor did he look away. He just stared at you.

“In a perfect world, you’d want me, need me, as much I do,” he whispered, jutting his hand out to caress your cheek. “I knew you’d never want this, but I also know because you’d have come running back to me anyway because you love me. You’d have surrendered to me and if you did, I wouldn’t chase you like a fool. I would be letting you go.”

“I’m tired of thinking, Seonghwa. I really am. There’s not much I can think of but the reality where we’re in right now,” you said.

“And I really wish that you didn’t think. I wish that you knew for certain. But unfortunately, this world is not perfect. Tell me what you want, Y/N. Right here, right now.”

You opened your mouth, but the words didn’t come right away. The way his eyes reflected all the hope, albeit only a little, crushed you. “I want to be free,” you finally said, the words strange in your mouth. “We both need to stop living in a lie, Seonghwa. I’m not the same, and neither are you.”

It hurt for you to say these things out loud, but it needed to be done. He didn’t say anything for a while, and you could tell he was hurting, as well. This man was once your world, but not anymore. You can’t carry him and the weight of his pain on your shoulders anymore. “Will you set me free? Can you let me go once and for all?”

It takes Seonghwa several seconds to fully understand your request, but when he finally does, a nauseating sensation overwhelms him, a sickness settling in his stomach, twisting around his insides. He always believed there was nothing he wouldn’t do for you, that’s how much he loved you, yet you just managed to find something. “One more question,” he insisted softly.

“What?”

“I know you still love me. Might be more than I love you, might be less. Will you ever stop loving me?”

The question was simple, but the way it knocked all the air out of your lungs made you think otherwise. You wanted to lie, wanted to look Seonghwa in the eye and tell him the opposite of what you truly felt for him. In fact, it would be very easy to lie to his face because this was your freedom.

Seonghwa’s gaze was steady, like he already knew the answer, but needed to hear it from you. He held his breath, still waiting for you to say something, but you were too frozen to do so.

You avoided eye contact. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” he answered a bit too quickly for your liking.

“No, I don’t think I will,” you admitted, finally at peace with the truth, because deep down, you knew that this was the last time you’d ever say it out loud. Even though you still loved Seonghwa dearly, you had to let go for good.

For the first time, the truth didn’t hurt you. 

Something resolute passes through his eyes before he finally breaks eye contact with you, repositioning himself on the bed to lay down on his back to stare at the ceiling. “I’m moving to New York next week. Permanently. We all are,” he said. “Operations there are far more beneficial for me since the crime rate will help a lot.”

As much as that statement felt like a punch to the gut for you, a small part of your brain was telling you that this was a good thing because the finality of you and Seonghwa not seeing each other again was coming into place. 

This was why you couldn’t be with Seonghwa no matter how much you loved each other. His ties to the mafia and illicit dealings was the least of your concern - it was the danger that will forever lurk with him. You were never ready for the emotional and psychological toll it will inflict you. You didn’t want Seonghwa to come home with a bullet between his eyes or have to visit him in jail. Never mind the constant target for retaliation should something go wrong with an enemy group.

“I see,” you replied, not knowing what else to say.

“Let’s have coffee one last time before I leave,” he pleaded. “Would you grant me that right even though you owe me nothing but ignorance?”

It was innocent enough, but it wasn’t that simple. You wanted to establish that line between the two of you as early as now, yet there was that longing that always reared its ugly head whenever you tried to push it down.

Why was it that when you were this close to pulling away, Seonghwa makes your heart flutter again? What is it about him that kept pulling you back?

The walk to the cafe was nerve-wracking for you, to say the least. The last time you were here, you didn’t know where you stood with Seonghwa. It hasn’t even been four months since then and yet, it felt like it was a lifetime ago.

You hesitated, your foot rooted to the ground directly outside the entrance. The closer you got to going in, the wider the hole in your gut got. You figured it was just the nerves, you were finally saying goodbye to your tormentor - as fucked as that sounded - after all the days you were trapped in confusion and pain.

You took a deep breath, choosing to leave your nerves behind and making your choice, something you haven’t made for yourself in a while.

You weren’t ready, not in the slightest, but there he was. Seonghwa sat in the same corner where you were the last time, and for once, he wasn’t purposefully late, or rather, he chose not to humiliate you this time and made you wait to no end. 

You couldn’t help but stare at him. He was staring out to the world in deep thought, his hands shoved deep in his  pockets. He wasn’t even doing anything, yet his quiet elegance still commanded respect. Seonghwa leaned casually against his chair, his dark, tailored coat hugging his body just right and his hair neatly combed up - far from the hot mess of a man who was on top of you the other week.

Your heart thudded in your chest. He looked like he was leaving for good.

And then, he was suddenly looking at you. “Hey,” he whispered, almost unsure. It was a type of voice you haven’t heard from him in so long. The last time you heard it was when he was asking you to marry him one cool, summer night a year and a half back.

“Hey,” you smiled tightly, putting your lips in a thin line as you tentatively approached the table. Truth be told, you wanted to walk away. Something was gnawing in your chest. But the part that loved him so, the part that wanted to let go, didn’t.

“I didn’t think you’d actually come,” Seonghwa gestured to your seat, even going as far as pulling your chair for you and pushing it back for you to sit on like a gentleman. He had a serene smile on his face when he went back to his. “But, I’m glad you’re here.”

He, once again, gestures his slender hands, but this time, at the table in front of you. He already took the liberty to order some food. It was one of the rarer things that you didn’t take offense to when it came to him; as warped as his mind was, he did cater to your needs very well, and that included the type of food you liked to eat and how you liked your coffee.

“Thank you,” you murmured, taking a small sip of your vanilla iced coffee, pleased to find that Seonghwa had already requested extra syrup. It was extra sweet this time, though, but you weren’t complaining. “When are you leaving?”

His sharp eyes calculated your every move, lingering on your lips a little too long before his own lips twitched ever so slightly. “In two hours,” he replied. “Most of our stuff is already in transit. I just have to be physically there. I really just wanted us to end on a decent note.”

You blinked, not totally processing his words at first. It hit you like stone when it did. You smiled back, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “It can’t get more decent than this,” you murmured. It was true, this was the first time that the strain between the two of you wasn’t crackling in the air.

You took another sip of your coffee, just so you weren’t sitting so awkwardly and so stiffly. The aftereffects of the months of unresolved tension were making you dizzy, an almost surreal sensation clouding your vision. Huh, you thought, you underestimated how stressed you actually were.

“You okay?” Seonghwa asked, brows furrowed together, his lips strung in a deep frown. There was an imperceptible shift in his expression, but the haze was too much for you to calculate what it really meant.

“Yeah,” you said,  taking a deep breath and hoping that the dizziness would pass. “I’m just a little tired.”

You booked a little vacation on the seaside for tomorrow, something you didn’t tell Seonghwa. You had no need to. You were looking forward to that as you were seated, thanking your lucky stars that you actually booked it at the last minute. You needed to unwind after all of this.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re pale, love,” Seonghwa raised his hand to touch you, something you rejected with a wave of your hand, and something he surprisingly respected.

He sounded a little more insistent now, but he still held that calmness he was known for in the criminal world, but in the end, all he could do was sigh in resignation. “If you insist,” he said, even though he looked like he wanted to say more.

The air felt cold, heavier, and now thicker with all the unspoken things between the two of you that would remain just that - unspoken. Seonghwa resembled a man who had carried the weight of regret for far too long, but even he knew that it was too late.

“I won’t keep you too long,” he said, his words slow as if he was dragging them out. They were raw, nonetheless. “I just wanted to say goodbye properly. The right way.”

He paused to smile thinly. “I just…had to see you before we went. I’m not going to ask for your forgiveness, Y/N, and I suppose that’s the only real thing I will always be sorry for because I can’t control the way my heart yearned for you, no matter how wrong it got.”

“It’s okay,” you almost scoffed. “I don’t know if I can forgive you, anyway.”

“Touché,” he chuckled.

You swallowed hard, a little disappointed, but to be honest, you were fine with that. You can respect honesty and self-awareness. “But, you think this would be enough, Seonghwa? I don’t mean that in a bad way.”

The room began to tilt as you swayed only a bit, nothing too noticeable, but it was enough nausea to concern you. His lips curled as he stared at you, but the hesitation in which he ran his hand through his hair in frustration distracted you.

“I don’t know, little dove, I don’t expect it to be enough. I guess I just needed you to know that I never meant to hurt you like I did, and maybe that’s not enough, but it’s all I have left,” he stared at you. “ I wish things had been different. I really did. But now, I have to go.” 

You set the coffee down, your hands clammy and your mouth went dry, the dizziness getting too detrimental for you to concentrate. Seonghwa’s eyes narrowed as he watched you carefully. Too carefully.

“Good luck, Seonghwa,” you said, quiet and sincere. You got up and stepped back from the table, from him. You had to go, you were starting to feel really unwell. “I’m sorry I can’t support you with the path you’re taking. I wish you happiness you couldn’t have with me, I really do.” 

“Sweetheart, wait…”

He stood up as well, his eyes searching yours like he was waiting for something more, but there was something else underneath it, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Before he could say something, you turned around towards the door and began to briskly walk away.

Walking away from Seonghwa felt wrong, but what was worse was the growing unease you felt - the same one you did before you even entered the cafe. Your legs were unsteady, you couldn’t even take a step away from the entrance. Black spots began to dance from your vision, it was getting more difficult to stay upright.

You gave in, your body feeling lighter as you felt yourself begin to tumble down the floor, but before you could, steady hands guided you upwards until your head pressed onto a firm chest. You didn’t have to look up to know who it was. 

“S-Seonghwa,” you slurred, leaning further into him against your will just so you couldn’t fall. “W-What’s going on…”

You felt him dig his fingers firmly on your shoulders, not enough to hurt, but enough for him to hold you to your place. He pushes you gently against the wall, tilting your lolling head to his face. 

Your blood ran cold. The look in his face told you everything you needed to know. His thumb forcibly opened your lips and the realization hit you so hard it left you reeling - the coffee. You weren’t supposed to feel like this, it wasn’t the anxiety. He smirked, almost smug.

“You were always so wary of me,” he chuckled darkly, leaning in to give you a small peck on the side of your lips before licking the small trail of saliva that pooled outside of your mouth. “I’m surprised it took you this long, I thought you’d see it coming, at least.”

“You…spiked m-my,” you managed to choke out, your breath coming in short gasps.

He didn’t seem alarmed. In fact, there was a calmness to him, as though he had expected this reaction, as though this was all part of his plan. You tried to push him away even though you could barely stand. “Seonghwa, I-I don’t f-feel well,” you admitted.

His smirk fell, genuine concern bleeding onto it as he cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry, love, you were probably just sensitive to it,” he frowned. You hated that you knew what he meant. “Let’s get you to the car—”

“N-No, let go,” your body swayed, until your legs had finally given out on you, your eyes fluttering close.

“Hey, hey, stay with me,” his voice was sharp, laced with panic. You felt yourself being lifted bridal-style. You could hear him calling your name over and over. “Come on, baby, don’t give out on me now,” he urged, the desperation in his voice betraying his calm facade.

“Please, I can’t do this alone,” he continued, his voice quieter now, almost fragile. “This is the only way. I’ll take care of you, yeah? I want to do right by you. I need you to believe me…”

He was scared. He actually hadn’t meant to go this far. 

Everything went black. The last thing you remembered was the sudden pressure of his desperate hands gripping you as if he was afraid that if he let you go that you'd suddenly disappear. His eyes shone with plea, full of panic, as his lips trembled with unspoken words.

When you came to, a dull headache throbbed in the back of your eyes. A sense of disorientation weighed heavily in your chest. The first thing you noticed was that you were sitting upright, your head leaning against a hard, bony surface. A shoulder.

You groaned, trying to remember how you got here, and everything came to you all at once; walking somewhere, the coffee, the nausea, Seonghwa—

Seonghwa.

You groaned, immediately sitting straight and trying to rub your eyes and your head to remove the bleary sleepiness remaining in you, but that wasn’t what caught you off-guard. In fact, fainting in Seonghwa’s arms seemed to be the least of your problems for today.

You froze, your heart leaping to your throat when you saw the cold metal of the handcuff around your wrist. Your hand instinctively tried to pull it away, even going as far as to prying it away with your other hand, but all that did was hurt you, your skin automatically reddening at the friction all the pulling was causing you.

Things just got worse from here then on. You figured that you’d try to pull the source of where your handcuffs were connected to, but to your horror, you realized that the other end was connected to Seonghwa’s own wrist, effectively tying you two together.

He stared at you panicking, his face drawn with exhaustion, but he was watching you closely as everything started to dawn on you. Something cloudy seizes his chest as you look up at him, tears reddening your eyes. His gaze softens, but relief shines through it, nonetheless.

“You’re awake,” he tenderly notes, like he was afraid that you’d get startled and lash out. He leans forward, his hand gingerly holding onto your face to wipe your unfallen tears with his thumb. “Are you okay? Is there anything that hurts? Listen, I know this looks bad, and I get it, but please, give me the chance to explain everything.”

You were stunned speechless, not being able to render opening your mouth to even refute his excuses. Everything was overwhelming, and truth be told, your head still wasn’t fully there. You couldn’t even lean away from Seonghwa’s touch even though you wanted nothing but to spit on his face.

It was one thing to be infuriated with Seonghwa, but more so, you were mad at yourself. How could you be so naïve? How could you be so blatantly stupid as to even meet up with him in the first place and let your guard down? 

Your breathing became ragged despite Seonghwa’s gentle attempts to calm you down. You had basically signed your life to him the moment you agreed to meet up with him in the cafe, because this was his plan all along, and you went along with it like a puppet in his sick version of a show.

Trusting Seonghwa was the equivalent of jumping off of a cliff willingly. You had a first-hand taste of how manipulative, how insane, he actually was, and you still went. You couldn’t even afford to feel bad for yourself since you knew that the fault wasn’t fully his own.

You pulled on your wrist, even though it was pointless, but his hand reached across the small space, gently touching your arm. “I never meant for things to go this far,” he explained, his voice strained. “But I need you to understand—”

“Understand what, Seonghwa? You lied to me,” you gritted your teeth, your heart thudding painfully against your chest as you tried to keep more of your tears at bay. “You lied to me, you sick son of a bitch! You said you were going to let me go! I thought the mafia had honour—”

“I know, dove, I know, but honour be damned if I can’t be with you,” he exasperatedly explained, but you weren’t having it.

“What the hell does that even mean? You kidnapped me! I’ve lost count, Seonghwa,” you seethed, pulling on the handcuffs again, but to no avail. That was when you looked around and realized you didn’t know where you were. “Where even are we?”

Seonghwa’s eyes softened and he leaned back in his seat, letting out a slow breath as he tried to gather his thoughts, the handcuffs connected to him slightly pulling on your wrists. “I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, and I’m not trying to make excuses. But I couldn’t just let you go. I couldn’t let you walk away and forget everything we had. I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am.”

“Seonghwa,” you trailed off, not liking where this was going, your lips quivering as you spoke. “You said you were going to let me go.”

“I know what I said,” he said. His voice dropped lower, a touch of vulnerability seeping in. “I can’t let you throw it all away, love. The other week, you said you still loved me, and that you were never going to stop loving me. Tell me, how am I supposed to just leave and forget all about that?”

He sighed, long and heavy, looking you straight in the eye. “How am I supposed to leave my heart, knowing that it still beats for the both of us?”

Your mind raced, thoughts tangled in a whirlwind. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. You’d made your choice. You’d walked away from, finally accepted that you just weren’t meant to be, and that you needed to let go to move on.

He shifted, his gaze never leaving yours, and for the first time, you saw a glimmer of something in him—hope.

“We can start over, leave everything once and for all,” he said, his voice almost pleading. “No more games. No more lies. We could just be together with a new life.”

You stopped breathing for a second. “W-What do you mean?”

Seonghwa paused, looking genuinely confused for a second. He was taken aback, it hit him that you actually didn’t know where you were. The silence was what prompted you to actually look at your surroundings. You blinked, finally realizing the real reason why you were sitting down when you woke up.

There is a smooth, unnatural hum of an engine beneath you, vibration so low that you wouldn’t even have noticed it.The plush leather seats you were on and in front of you, the overhead area where carry-on luggages usually went to if they were too big to put on the floor, and the stale smell of uncirculated air around the small space.

You were on a plane. Specifically, Seonghwa’s private jet.

“S-Seonghwa,” you yelped, true fear and panic settling in your chest at the prospect of  being trapped here with him.

“You were asleep for half the flight. We’ll be landing in New York in six more hours,” he said quietly. 

You repeatedly shook your head in denial, hoping to wake up from this nightmare. Seonghwa just watched you, his expression a mixture of hurt and concern. “I know you’re scared,” he whispered. “I know I hurt you, but I promise I’ll never hurt you again. “

You looked at him, his eyes full of conviction, full of hope. He was sincere. But that only made it harder.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you pulled away slightly, the weight of the handcuff pulling you back.

His face shifted, pain flashing across his features, but he didn’t let go. “Please,” he said, his voice trembling. “Don’t make me lose you again.”

Your hands tugged at the cuffs again, the metal biting into your wrist, but all that did was make him wrap his big hands around yours. “I’m not asking for a second chance,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse. “I’m asking for a real chance. A chance to prove that we can make this work. That we can make us work. I’ll take care of you. I’ll protect you. And we’ll get through this together.”

You didn’t want to break down in front of him. You  didn’t want to show him this vulnerability, this weakness. But you couldn’t stop.

Through your blurry eyes, you saw him with his gaze soft but filled with something else. Pity. It also had helplessness and guilt, as if seeing you break down before him was a painful reminder of how far he had pushed you.

With that, you hunched over your seat and buried your face in your hands as the tears streamed down your face in hot torrents. The sobs came in uncontrollable waves, violent and loud, your chest heaving as if you might suffocate.

You felt Seonghwa’s hand rub your back soothingly, but you didn’t care to push him anymore. It was over. All the fighting you did for your freedom was for absolutely nothing. The weight of that truth pressed down on your chest, suffocating. 

You didn’t even try to stop Seonghwa from pulling you from your chair to make you sit on his lap as he hugged you tight, burying your face on the crook of his shoulder as your tears came hard, relentless, spilling down your cheeks as your chest heaved with sobs you couldn’t contain anymore. Your hands trembled as you clutched at his clothes, trying to steady yourself.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” he said softly as he hushed you with comfort that you didn’t want. “I’ll take care of you. We’ll start over, fall in love with each other all over again. You won’t be a part of the organization if you don’t want it, just please, stay with me.”

Your hysterical cries didn’t stop and all Seonghwa did was comfort you with words - words that he actually meant - but what you didn’t see was the pride and satisfaction written on his face as he stared at your crying form. In his own quiet way, he savored every single moment of it.

And he smiled because he knew - and you knew - that you had nowhere else to go. He won.

You belonged to him now.

𝙽𝚎𝚝s - @keopihaus @dove-net @othersideoutlawsnetwork @hiraya-m @illusionnet @pirateeznet

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: stockholm syndrome, captive!reader, kidnapper!yunho, manipulator!yunho, angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, degradation, manipulation, toxic relationship, touch deprivation, violence, light jumpscare(once), bondage, victim blaming, anger management issues, threats, blackmailing, petting, dry humping, dacryphilia, dumbification, praise, wax play, pet names, rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: the reader isn't necessarily small or petite, yunho is simply that big and strong that compared to him she is written the way she is. :) not completely proofread!

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

yunho detests being away for a long time. more than that, he loathes having to keep making up excuses and lying to his close friends just to go to his own apartment. the time digits on his phone screen do not change fast enough, and soon the man finds himself gnawing the inside of his cheek and thinking whether or not to tap on his most used texting app. he sits in his makeup chair, giving the makeup artist a hard time as his fingers itch to type a message to a certain someone.

"yunho, please stay still. i'll be done faster if you let me work." the woman begs. he sighs, and finally puts the phone in his pocket. at least tries to, before a notification stops him.

doll: yunnie doll: i miss you yunnie :( doll: [file attached]

yunho lowers the brightness of his phone screen, then the volume just in case. his fingers then eagerly tap on the file, and his eyes are met with a sight he will never get tired of seeing: a picture of your face, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks flushed, and lips a pretty pink shade, just how he likes it.

doll: be home soon, pretty please?

yunho: what did i say about being needy and impatient? i'll be there when i get there. behave.

doll: i will. i'm sorry.

he knows that he has worsened the situation. that your bottom lip is probably quivering right now, and fresh tears are threatening to spill down your rosy cheeks. and he doesn't hate it. he only hates that he isn't there to see it. satisfied with your lack of replies, he finally sets his phone aside and allows the artist to finish her job.

when yunho arrives at the apartment, he makes sure to turn the key slowly when unlocking the door. he doesn't turn any lights on, simply putting his jacket on the well memorised spot near the entrance and proceeding into the living room. the window is open, but yunho does not worry. you know better than that.

the place is spotless, which means that you really wished to catch him in a good mood today. and he likes when you work hard for him, cleaning his apartment, cooking for him, ironing his clothes. when he is happy, you are happy. and when you are happy, yunho has hit the jackpot.

in the corner of his eye, he notices a sketch pad and a few pencils neatly set on the corner of the window where you loved to sit. the absence of light meant only one thing; you were fast asleep. you probably tired yourself from crying, then tucked yourself in like usual.

the man's polished shoes lightly click against the spotless parquet floor, legs carrying him to the window where he has bought and installed a hanging chair for you. you loved to sink into the fluffy pillows under the blanket, big eyes looking outside where you know you are not allowed to go. but not once did you whine about it, instead thanking him for allowing you to look. he takes the sketch pad, slender fingers tracing the faint pencil lines on the white paper.

it is his face, from today's live they held before their comeback. when you texted him, you really did miss him. so much that you turned on the big tv which you never usually touch without him, turned on the youtube live and made multiple sketches of his face. you had even sneakily put a few hearts around his head, and a small one on his nose. at the bottom of each paper, your pretty handwriting; my yunnie.

he notices that the pencils are getting smaller from being used and sharpened much more lately. he will get you new ones as soon as possible, just so you don't stop and fall in a slump again. he loves when you do things that make you happy.

instead of going to the bedroom next, he proceeds into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of whisky and for you – a glass of peach iced tea with four ice cubes. you love it when he brings it for you. even though he has bought packages and packages of the product, and you can drink it whenever yourself, it always tastes the sweetest when he brings it to you.

and he does, quietly setting it on the nightstand and taking a sip of his alcoholic beverage. he sets the short glass right next to your tall one with cherry blossom prints, before finally sitting on the bed.

your figure is half covered by the fluffy blanket he has brought you as a present from one of his tours. you had used it every day and night since, going as far as being whiny while it washed and dried. yunho didn't understand your love and attachment to an item like that, until you confessed one night, halfway asleep and a blubbering mess.

"you bought it for me. it means that you saw it and thought of me before doing that. you remembered me, yunnie."

and since then, yunho always looked for presents to bring you. but he was always rushed, and ended up buying you a lousy souvenir or a chocolate from the duty free shops. he promised himself to get you something even if it meant being late for his schedule next time.

the moonlight peeks through the blinds, illuminating your still flushed cheeks and smeared mascara. your tied up hands are hidden under the pillow where your head rests. softly, yunho pulls them from under it, fingers carefully undoing the knots he made himself. the knots which he crafted himself are thoughtfully put together and pretty against your skin. he was generous enough to let you pick the colour of the ropes, and your answer was always the same: lavender.

once your hands are free, yunho brings your wrists to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to each one before turning his attention to your resting face. his fingers itch to caress you, to touch you, but he doesn't wish to disturb your peace.

he doesn't have to, because his scent envelops you, and before he can react, your nose moves like a bunny's one and your eyes open. he can't help the smile that spreads on his lips when he sees your excited expression, just before you throw yourself on him and try to wrap your arms around his shoulders and back. but he is big, much bigger than you, so you decide that wrapping them around his neck is good enough.

"you came." you exhale into his ear.

"don't i always?" yunho has to peel you away from him, and you whine as a protest. but the way his lips lose the playful curve and his eyes become serious make you bite your tongue as a punishment. regret washes over your features, and yunho is quick to grab your chin with his hand, pressing his thumb on your bottom lip. "be good." he warns.

"yes, sir."

and it's all it takes for yunho to soften again, taking you in his arms and standing up. "take the juice for me."

with one hand you hold onto his neck, making it easier for him to carry you, and with the other grab the glass of iced tea from the nightstand. as if it's hard for him to carry you; he is so strong you must be light as a feather to him. without questioning him, you relax in his hands, until you feel him sit and set you on his lap. a blanket is placed over your bare legs, enough to keep you warm as you sit in the hanging chair next to the window. the man takes the juice from your hand, setting it on the window next to the sketch pad. he doesn't ask about it yet, not wanting to pry unless you tell him yourself. he is happy you've returned to your little hobby.

"are you cold?" he asks, cupping your cheeks and then hands to check the warmth. when you shake your head, he presses a kiss to your forehead, lips a plush cloud against your skin. "my pretty girl."

you only smile as a response, still recovering from your sleep.

"you've been busy today." he notices the rearranged watch collection on the shelf below the television. the plants are refreshed, the once sagged leaves now proudly sticking up. "tell me about your day, bunny."

it wasn't unusual for yunho to sit you in his lap and ask about your day. in fact, it was your favourite part of the day. the way he listens and looks at you with his pretty eyes, nodding along to your never-ending sentences, and those unfinished ones that get interrupted with a fresh thought that you will forget if you don't say it immediately, scolding you and playfully pinching your thigh when you stop yourself mid talking and apologize for being annoying. yet lately, yunho doesn't come as often. what was once an every day routine was now a once a week occurrence. even then, he'd come and check on you, laid with you until you fell asleep, then sneaked off and disappeared into the night.

you hated it. you felt stupid, and lied to. he'd convince you that he left just before you woke up, that he stayed the whole night. but he didn't know that you felt his absence the moment he stood up from the bed. there wasn't much you could do anyway. as if he would listen. yunho is as stubborn as he is handsome. insanely.

"i vacuumed, mopped, cleaned out the fridge and threw out the expired products, put on fresh bedsheets, swept the balcony, watered the plants, rearranged your watch and game collection." you listed, head resting in the crook of his neck and eyes fixed on the ceiling. then, you stopped. and so did yunho's soothing circles on your thigh as he held your body close to his. you swallow, thinking of ways to continue before he can sense the shift in your behaviour. "i turned the tv on, watched you. you were very handsome today, yunho."

yunho hums, and for a moment, you relax and almost sigh with relief. the hand that doesn't hold you cups your cheek, pulling your head away from the crook of his neck and resting it on his shoulder so he can look at you. "who was at the door?"

your blood runs cold in your veins. yunho knows you like the back of his hand, and the flaw is in you for not knowing it well by now. you swallow slowly, eyes still locked with his dark ones, not daring to look away. "a man." you know better than to lie.

"what did he look like?" he presses, tone still calm. and it sends shivers down your spine. it is like the calm before the storm.

"i didn't see. i promised i'd never look."

"then how do you know it was a man?" the dark haired man tilts his head, raising his eyebrow.

before answering, your remind yourself that you are telling the truth, and that you should be calm. "he yelled your name."

"and what did my little doll do?" his hand drops from your cheek to your neck, slender fingers lightly grazing the skin just under your jaw before they completely wrap around the neck. the touch is gentle and soothing.

"i ran to the bedroom and hid under the covers. i was quiet, i promise." you are quick to offer him your pinky as a proof. but he simply shakes his head, then presses his lips to your temple.

"good girl."

the grip on your neck goes from light and loose to tight, growing stronger with yunho pressing the sides of it and making you look at him with confusion. "what-?"

your eyes widen as his grip intensifies, ridding you of oxygen slowly and already making you gasp for air. "if..." he starts, face close to yours. so close that his warm breath washes over your paling face, and lips barely brush against yours. "...you ever open the door, or even look through the window while somebody is there... you hear me?" his voice is a mere whisper against your mouth. you nod frantically, hoping that he releases you if you showed obedience. "yeah? i'll kill you."

"ye-es..." you choke out, tears spilling down your cheeks. small hands wrapping around his big one in hopes of stopping him, but to no avail.

"i didn't catch that." he presses further. "do you understand? if you ever think of getting out of here, or even manage to escape somehow, i will hunt you down and kill you."

you stop fighting back, instead opting for nods and silent tears. "i understand."

"if i can't have you..." he takes a look at your squirming and crying state one more time, then finally releases you. "...no one can."

a sob leaves your lips, and your hands are quick to reach your mouth, hoping that he didn't hear or at least sees your remorse.

but yunho doesn't say anything. instead, he pulls you close to him, his clothed body warming up your half naked one. "it's okay." he coos. "it's over."

"was i good?" you dare ask. you need to know that you didn't ruin what you built with him. that he didn't lose his trust in you. that he won't leave you alone for a month again in this place.

"you were perfect."

and that's all you need to hear to be calm. the peach juice waters down on the window as yunho lightly swings the hanging chair, lulling you to sleep with his voice and kisses to your cheeks and forehead.

the next time you open your eyes, you are angry and throw a tantrum. the sheets are on the floor, as well as pillows, and if yunho found you acting this way, he wouldn't be very pleased. but you are getting tired of him putting you to sleep and sneaking off. the mornings where you woke up next to him are long gone. your heart aches for those days.

there is only so much mess you can make with your wrists tied, so you give up on letting your frustration out on the faultless objects. with the fluffy blanket wrapped around your shoulders, you make your way to the living room and slump against the cushions on the couch. only after sitting up straight do you notice a small paper bag and a fresh glass of peach iced tea. the pink cursive writing on the bag makes your eyes almost sparkle from joy. it's been a while since yunho has brought you something from the bakery you absolutely adored.

you don't bother with keeping the bag, instead ripping it in half and using it as a plate for the sweet treat. two eclairs: a pink one and a green one. raspberry and pistachio, just how you used to eat in the mornings with him. he'd get the pistachio for himself, and raspberry for you. and you always wanted a bite of his, and then regretted your raspberry one because his tasted better. and he was always happy to exchange it with you.

not once did he complain about you always ordering the same and regretting it. not once did he refuse to let you have a bite. not once did he say no when you wanted to switch with him. not once did he bring two pistachio eclairs. and you might've become spoiled because of things like that, and even though both of you knew it, none of you said anything about it, because you were both equally guilty. you for pushing him, and him for indulging.

but it worked. it always did. that's why you aren't sure why yunho has suddenly distanced yourself from him. you're trying to be good for him, take care of yourself for him, even go as far as leaving windows open as a sign that you could run away if you wanted to, but you won't. at least that's what you liked to think. deep down you knew that yunho would find you even if you dug yourself a grave and hid under a fake tombstone. he'd find you, and then... you don't want to think about it.

but you have no reason to run. he takes care of you. you are his little doll, and your only task is to be pretty and obedient. but lately, you only have to do that two or three times a month. the rest of the days you die of boredom, cleaning the place, rearranging the fridge, turning the furniture around so that the place looks different and fresh. you are running out of ideas.

now, as you flip through the channels on the television, you are working up the courage to tell him how bored you are. maybe ask for netflix or disney. you are tired of watching the same youtube content over and over again. you can feel your brain rotting as you try to keep up with the recent famous youtubers. a movie would've been more educational at least.

as you eat the pink eclair, you scroll on the phone yunho has gifted you recently, with a promise of you not texting or calling anyone else but him. he can track your activity, and has limited your access to certain sites and apps, which leaves you with a few games that don't require network and a music app. it helped with your boredom, but nothing will ever be as interesting as having him around.

your fingers work faster than your brain, and you end up entering the one and only conversation on the screen.

doll: you left :(

it was always schrödinger's cat with him. he will either get mad at you - like yesterday - or indulge in your whiny and pouty behaviour as he secretly enjoys it. the one way to find out is by opening the box - text him.

yunho: my schedule is packed, sweetheart. you know that.

doll: when will i be a part of your schedule?

yunho: don't push it

doll: but i miss you so much

doll: can i please please please call you? pretty please? just for a minute?

on the other side of the screen, at the other end of the city, yunho sighs. it seems you've become more impatient and needy lately, and he knows he is at fault. you wait for him all dolled up, only to fall asleep because he always arrives so late. then, you talk for a while, and he lulls you to sleep before he has to run back to his dorm.

he taps on the phone icon in the corner of the screen after checking whether anyone is paying attention to him in the dressing room. he is the last in line to get dressed, which gives him more than a minute that you asked for so nicely. he can't say no to you. not when he misses you too. but he'd never say it to you out loud.

you pick up after the first ring, and yunho can almost hear the wide smile as you greet him. "yunnie!"

"hi, sweetheart." his heart swells at your still raspy voice. you must've just woken up. "did you have breakfast yet?"

"i only ate the raspberry one."

"oh you naughty little-" yunho purses his lips. "so the pistachio is only good if it's taken away from me, huh?"

"maybe. i took a bite. it's really not as sweet as when i steal it from you." you playfully reply. "but, yunnie..."

"hmm?"

"i actually wanted to ask you something."

"ask away doll. what can i do for you?"

"next time you come over..." you hesitate before continuing. "would you bring me a book or something? pretty please? i get bored when you're not around."

"oh." yunho says, surprised at the odd request. he didn't know what he was expecting. perhaps that you'd ask him if he'd untie you. or something that he surely wouldn't allow. but he forgot how perfect and loyal you are to him, and how much he has lowered your standards. "of course. anything specific?"

"not really. you pick!" you are so happy that you'll get a book that you don't even care which one it is. "no scary ones, please."

the dark haired man chuckles into the phone. in the corner of his eye, he notices the group leader eyeing him as he gets dressed. yunho's smile drops, and he is forced to end the conversation. "i'll see you soon. don't go late to bed tonight. you need your beauty sleep."

"oh. leaving already?" he hears you pout. he'd give anything to playfully tug your bottom lip right now. "alrighty then. i'll go back to missing you until you come again. which is, what, in a week?"

"be good for me." he orders sternly. "no sassing me. and no tantrums."

"no tantrums."

"and no sassing."

"and no sassing, blah blah."

"dollie. i'm serious." he turns around so that his back faces hongjoong. the older man has taken a great interest in yunho's conversation. "be a good bunny for me."

"yes, yunho."

"good."

just before he lowers his phone to hang up, he hears your faint voice. a mere whisper, which he wasn't supposed to hear. but he did. "i love you, yunnie."

and it fucking shatters him and ruins him inside out.

"dumb little doll." he sighs, looking at the wallpaper of the chat of you dressed in his favourite outfit with two pretty ribbons attached to your hair.

jeong yunho didn't expect his schedule to end so early. tomorrow is monday - his day off. technically, his time off starts now, as he steps into the library at the great city mall. and he makes the most of it. a basket securely hangs from his hand, already halfway filled with books with eye-catching covers and interesting plot summaries on the back. you'll love these, no doubt. and even if you don't, yunho won't hesitate to come back and buy more.

he forgot how dull it is for you to stay in that apartment all day and all night. the least he can do is help you find another hobby while he is not there with you. though, he is working on being less absent. but no matter how much he tries, his work schedule seems to track his brain, because they love swamping him with new interviews and variety shows every time he even thinks of having time off. this time he will be careful not to complain much around the staff about his free time.

at the same time as him, someone reaches for the last book he had his eyes on. it was this month's bestseller, all over tiktok, and he needed to buy it. but so did the person next to him, because they held onto it and weren't planning on letting go any time soon. yunho sighs. he truly isn't in the mood for this right now.

just as he gets ready to scold the person, he notices that it is a woman. a young one. a pretty one. so instead of angry words he was ready to spew, yunho simply smiles. "hi."

"hello," she greets back. "my, you've got good taste."

both of them glance at the basket in his hand. the basket that is meant for you. yunho's smile quickly fades, replaced by a serious face and confusing the woman in the process. "it's for my girlfriend."

"oh." disappointment is evident in her voice. she lets go of the book, then opts to look at the shelves instead of the man so she can hide her frown. "well, she'll be very happy with that book."

"she will." yunho smiles to himself, imagining your excited face as you go through the books.

"you must love her very much. that is a lot of money in that basket-"

"that is none of your concern." his brows are furrowed when he looks at the blonde woman. what is it with love talk today?

"oh. you don't love your girlfriend?" she is confused once again.

her confusion is then replaced by fear, caused by yunho who grabs her by the neck and slams her against the shelves. "take your little book and mind your own fucking business. got it?"

he shoves the book into her hands. the woman nods frantically, eyes glossy with tears and hands shaking as they hold the book. finally, yunho lets go of her. the book is dropped on the ground, and she bolts for the door. only then does yunho realize what he has done. but there is nothing he can do about it. thankfully, he wears his mask. he gets to keep his job another day.

yunho spends more time at the mall than he intended. three hours later, he is finally putting the key in the lock and entering his apartment. you jump at the familiar sound, and he hears your footsteps all the way from the bedroom. he sets the bags on the floor just in time to catch you into a hug.

"hi, doll." he coos. you only hum in response, burying your head into the crook of his neck and inhaling the faint traces of his perfume. he smells of vanilla and musk, with a hint of sweat. and you love every bit of it. nuzzling your nose against the sensitive area on the neck right under his ear, you can't help but sigh with content. yunho chuckles, before lightly squeezing your sides as a sign to let go of him.

you do so, without whines or tantrums this time. he wasn't supposed to come for another week, and he has graced you with the sudden visit. and you will make sure he doesn't regret it.

"i want you to go to the bathroom and freshen up while i prepare something." he orders with a kiss to your forehead.

"yes, yunnie." you obey, already on your way to the bathroom.

it doesn't take you more than ten minutes to take a quick body shower, put on a new comfy sleep dress, and put your hair in a hair clip how he likes it. you almost skip through the hallway, the cold autumn air chasing your bare legs until you reach the bedroom where yunho hides. but when you open the door, he isn't there. only a few paper bags on the bed, and a box with a bow on top and small holes poked on the sides.

not sure if you can touch without him, you opt for sitting on the bed and waiting patiently for him. while he is gone, you glance at your chipped nail polish. you should've asked him for polish remover instead. you accidentally spilled it when you foolishly tried to multitask by watching television and painting your nails. does yunho notice things like that? will he say anything about it? what if you just paint over it? will it look bad?

your thinking is interrupted by the tall man entering the bedroom, with two glasses in his hands. one with whisky, and one in similar colour to it. you know it's your iced tea; its sweet scent envelops the room as soon as he sets it on the nightstand.

"my patient doll." he praises with a kiss to your head. his fingers find their spot under your chin, raising your head so that you look up at him. his other hand reaches for your hair that you have neatly pulled back into the hair clip. with a single motion, his finger hooks into a few strands of it, setting them free from the clip and letting them frame your face. "so pretty."

if you could physically melt on the bed right there and then, you would. the way yunho looks at you makes your brain mushy, and your legs weak. after all this time, he still has that effect on you.

"i got you something." he motions for you to stand up, then sits down and pulls you into his lap. your back rests against his chest as his does against the bed frame. you sit cross-legged, making space for the bags so you can reach them easier. he takes the box first, pulling it between his legs that hold you securely and in front of you. "go on, open it."

all the hesitation is gone as soon as he gives the green light. the bow is shoved aside, and so is the lid. a gasp leaves your mouth at the sight.

two light brown ears perk up at the newfound light, and soon enough, a snout peeks out of the box. it sniffs, and sniffs, until it gets the courage to climb out of the box and flips it over, trapping itself under it. yunho removes the box and throws it on the floor, causing both the animal and you to jolt lightly. then, he takes the almost hand sized rabbit in his hand, holding it for you to take.

"it's a rabbit."

"yes, love. it's a rabbit." he confirms.

"it's so cute."

"i know." he kisses your cheek. "a bunny for a bunny. now you'll have a little companion when i'm away."

you carefully take it in your hands, testing the waters. it is pure fluff in your hands, as soft as yunho's hair after a shower. a little ball of fur with two big eyes and big floppy ears. and it is all yours.

"what will you name her?"

"dawn." you have your answer ready.

yunho laughs fondly. "dawn?"

"it's my favourite part of the day." yunho then remembers you telling him how much you prefer sunrises over sunsets. sunsets make you sad. they mark the end of the day. and you hate when things end. dawn brings a fresh day, and the sun is as pretty when it rises as it is when it sets. "thank you, yunho. i love it."

"don't thank me, love. you deserve more than that for being so obedient for me. now go through the rest of the presents. i'll keep your bunny safe while you do it."

"uh..." you look at your tied wrists.

he manages to untie the knot with a single hand, keeping the rope in it and playing with it while you start digging through the bags. with each book you pull out you let out a squeal of excitement. if it weren't for yunho, you would've stayed up all night reading.

but he had other plans once you finished exploring, taking your hand in his and pulling you back into his lap. the bunny is fast asleep on the pillow next to him, making you his main point of attention. the last book is still in your hands, fingers flipping through illustrated pages of the limited edition and eyes gawking at it. the smell of whisky fills your nostrils, and you look up and find him taking a sip.

"what does it taste like?" you wonder.

yunho doesn't answer. instead, he brings the glass to your mouth, pressing the edge against your lips. "small sip. a tiny one."

you listen, keeping your lips closed so that only a small amount of liquid can pass through. something about this is so intimate: him holding you in his lap as you wear your sleep dress, a book in your hands, making you drink from his glass, not breaking eye contact as you do so.

and yunho's view is to die for. you look at him with those pretty eyes of yours, completely under his control and trusting him. your lips finally touch the whisky, and tongue barely peeks to taste it. you pull away, shutting your eyes and pursing your lips in disgust. "eugh."

yunho laughs, then downs the glass before putting it on the nightstand. "let's stick to your peach iced tea, hm?"

you nod in response. then, yunho finds the second light switch above the bed frame, turning it off. the moon is almost full, resting its silver rays on the bed and lighting up yunho's face. you'll never get over how insanely handsome he is. he is almost unreal. sometimes you even ask yourself whether he is a fruit of your imagination from staying alone for so long. no man you've met was this majestic: with hair as black as a raven, eyes dark and shiny as a starry night, porcelain skin, pretty nose with a little bridge where he rests his glasses, and oh, the prettiest pink lips. many times you've found yourself gazing upon his lips as he spoke or ate. and many times you wanted to close the distance as he held you on his lap while he read something or simply scrolled on his phone.

but you can't. yunho doesn't like being touched. at least that's what you gathered from the way he jumps when you try to remove a fallen eyelash from his cheek or straighten a sticking strand of hair. yunho gets very jumpy if you even hug him without warning. and you like to think that he is like that with everyone. that you aren't the issue.

but no matter how he behaves towards you, whether he is distant or can't keep his hands off you, he is still royally beautiful.

"thank you, love. you're not bad yourself."

blush creeps up your cheeks. you didn't mean to say it out loud. but yunho doesn't mind, and instead pulls a cover over both of you and sets the book aside. your legs are cold against his warm ones, still clothed. "won't you change?"

"i'm too lazy." he admits.

"can i change you?" you offer, sitting up and leaning on your elbows.

yunho smiles, eyes still closed. "i'd like to see you try."

in no time, you find his dark blue silk pajamas. that's the easy part. the hard part is yet to come. yunho is strong, and heavy. and big. blush warms up your cheeks once again as your hands find the hem of his turtleneck. he looks dashing in the tight turtlenecks and slacks. but right now, you'd rather see him comfortable. he deserves it after all the hard work.

he only helps you by raising his hands and head in the air just enough for you to pull the top off. you drink in the sight of his muscles, while his torso is covered by an undershirt. you pull the pajama top over his head, then his arms, and finally fix the collar. your eyes then fall on his belt. swallowing thickly, your fingers unbuckle it, and it causes yunho to grab your hands and stop you.

"i'll do it."

"what? why?" you're disappointed.

"i'll do it faster. i'm getting pretty sleepy, we should go to bed."

no amount of pouting convinces him to let you continue. he is out of his slacks and into the pajama bottoms in no time, giving you no time to sulk on the bed. he scoops you in his arms, throwing the fuzzy blanket over both of you.

"good night, bunny."

"whatever." you mumble into his chest.

the hand that rests on your lower back sinks to your bottom, pinching it lightly. you squeal, jolting away from his hand and further into his body. "behave."

"sorry." your voice is a mumble again. "yunnie?"

"go to sleep."

"but yunho." you whine, fingers playing with the buttons of his top.

he sighs. "yes?"

"what am i to you?"

that yunho cannot answer. simply because he has worked so hard on the relationship you two have. if he tells you, he might ruin the illusion. and you might remember. you might remember that it is not normal to be tied up and locked in a stranger's apartment. after all, you don't know the true him. that makes him a stranger to you. he has ridden you of any desire you had to escape, and instead made you depended on him. he has destroyed you, scared you so bad to the point that you started seeing a friend in him. he doesn't know whether you woke up one day and accepted your fate and decided to play along with his sick and twisted games of emotions and obsession, or simply had a switch in your brain click and made you the way you are right now. a loyal and obedient little pet for him to gawk at, dress up however he wishes, and keep locked away where nobody can find it.

he knows it's not normal. he knows his sins. and he knows that behind the loving eyes you give him that there is hate pushed down so deep, scared to make an appearance. he has pushed it there with his own actions. he also knows that just because he recognizes his flaws doesn't make him less guilty. moreover, it makes him even more evil. he knows, yet he doesn't stop.

he wishes he can, really. he wishes he can untie you, let you go, live a normal life, find a girlfriend, stop sneaking out of his dorm at late hours and return at early ones. hell, he could've asked you out on a date instead of putting his hand over your pretty mouth behind the concert stadium and drag you into his car. but then everybody would see you. somebody might even want to take you away from him. and yunho can't allow that. you are his to see, his to touch and his to keep.

you belong to him, heart and soul.

"does it matter?" his voice comes out as annoyed, but it doesn't affect you.

"a little." you admit. "you don't kiss me, but you give me affection other ways. what does that make us?"

it makes you my prisoner, and me your captor. you just don't know it yet. or maybe you've grown blind to it. maybe i've broken your perception of how things actually are. maybe i've convinced you that this all is normal.

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have asked." you notice how tense he is under your touch. "good night."

but yunho doesn't want to leave you without an answer. he kisses your temple, then your cheek, and finally, your ear. his lips stay there, brushing against the sensitive ear shell as his warm breath tickles you. "you're mine. that's all that matters."

"are you mine?" you ask.

yunho sighs, pulling you closer to him and completely wrapping his arms around your shivering body. "good night, doll."

you wake up in a cold and empty bed again. excluding the curled up rabbit next to you.

and you are furious.

blinded by rage, you reach for your phone, not even noticing that your hands are still untied. usually he'd tie them up while you are halfway asleep or completely asleep as to not disturb you. before you can press the call button next to his name, the bathroom door opens, revealing the man you were about to scold. he has discarded his sleep top, leaving him only in bottoms and a sleeveless undershirt.

"thought i heard you wake up." he smiles. "come, let's get you ready for the day. i let you sleep in enough."

the phone is forgotten in the blanket, and your legs carry you into the bathroom. he has a toothbrush in his mouth, and his hair is a fluffy mess. you love when he looks this soft. he is less intimidating. not that you are scared of your yunho. he wouldn't hurt you. only if you give him a reason to.

noticing your bare feet on the cold tiles, the man picks you up and places you on the counter near the sink. he hands you your own toothbrush after he squirts the paste on it. comfortable silence swallows the small bathroom, the only sounds being the teeth brushing and yunho's light humming to a song as he stands between your legs that hang from the counter, swinging along with yunho's song. his hand rests comfortably on your thigh, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the exposed skin below the dress.

you've noticed he loves your thighs. to touch them, to pinch them and caress them. and you don't mind. in fact, you love that he can't get his hands off you. it makes you feel attractive. you hope you are attractive to him. sometimes it doesn't feel like that. you look at him with loving eyes, and he... he looks at you like you're his most prized possession. you're just an eye candy. a doll he comes to play with and dress her up just to feast his eyes. perhaps the fault is in you. you don't attract him enough. it could be your appearance. you should switch from the comfy silk sleepwear he has gifted you in every colour so you can be comfortable around the house into something more appropriate and mature. or maybe it was your behaviour. you are so depended on him that you often end up feeling extremely childish.

yet he insists that he loves doing everything for you. he loves to see you in the pastels. he loves when you ask him for help. and he loves making you ask for help by closing the jars too tight, or putting the glasses on the top shelves where you can't reach even if you climb on a chair.

"hey." his finger playfully taps your nose, noticing you have stopped brushing. "where did you go?"

you shake your head, ridding your brain of the thoughts for a while. "sorry. were you saying something?"

"i said," he takes the toothbrush from your hand and continues brushing your teeth for you, holding your jaw in his palm and head in place, then continues talking, "we have a busy day ahead of us."

"sho... you're shtaying all day?" you mumble with foam in your mouth.

"i'm all yours today." he finishes brushing, then motions for you to spit in the sink. you do so, earning yourself a playful pat on the head. "good girl."

"you have a little stubble." you notice, fingers reaching to touch the short hairs on his face. it is not often that yunho lets you touch him like that, so when your hand cups his cheek, you are surprised when he simply looks at himself in the mirror with furrowed eyebrows. he doesn't remove your hand, and you savour every second of it.

"suppose i do. i should shave it off." the man runs both toothbrushes under the warm water, then sets them in the cup next to each other. his dark blue one with black bristles is a funny contrast to your lavender one with white bristles. it's like they resemble the two of you. maybe that's why he bought them. "want to help me?"

"help you?" you raise your eyebrow. he doesn't answer. instead, he hands you his razor, showing you how to properly hold it. while he smears the shaving foam on his face, you can't help but take secret glances at his exposed arms. he notices, then looks down at his undershirt.

"right, i should probably take this off." with one single motion, the fabric lands on the floor and he steps on it. you are left gawking at his bare torso. he doesn't usually undress in front of you. this is the first time you see his defined body. he looks absolutely dashing, and the sight makes your stomach feel fuzzy. you instinctively try to close your legs, but forget that he is standing right between them. "come closer."

you are now sitting on the edge of the counter, and if it weren't for yunho's hands holding your thighs and keeping your body steady, you would've kissed the cold tiles below his feet. he guides one of your hands to his face, then lets you figure it out on your own. you hesitate. "what if i cut you?"

"well... try not to, i guess." he shrugs. "i want to be pretty for you too. just as you do for me."

as gentle as possible, you swipe the razor over his cheek. it leaves a smooth trail behind, without any red lines or spots. little by little, your smooth faced yunho appears, and so does a smile on your lips. with one final swipe, you finish, not cutting him once in the process. "all done!"

"good job, bunny." he praises with a kiss to your forehead. "come on now, let's get you dressed. as i said, we have a busy day ahead of us."

when yunho said busy, you thought he meant cleaning the house or helping him with something. not standing in line at an amusement park with your hands untied. you haven't been outside in forever, if you exclude the balcony. today, yunho has decided to surprise you with a trip to an amusement park. he looks comfortable and fresh, wearing a simple black t-shirt with black ripped jeans, a leather jacket and sneakers. beside him, you are dressed up in his hoodie and his sweatpants, and his denim jacket. somehow, your clothes have been disappearing little by little, leaving you with only sleepwear. does it have anything to do with the fact that he likes to see you in the pastel sets he keeps bringing over instead of actual clothes? no, of course not.

yunho did make you promise him a few things before exiting the house:

no distancing yourself from him

no talking to other people

no looking at other people

no going anywhere without asking him first

no yelling each other's names

keep the sunglasses on your face

have your phone in your hand at all times in case anything happens and one of you needs to get a hold of each other.

and you happily agree. you wouldn't do the opposite even if he didn't make you promise all those things. yunho is all you have, and without him, you'd be overwhelmed and lose yourself. the place is enormous, everything shining bright into your eyes and looking the same. no wonder people get lost there all the time. or perhaps you're just used to the dark apartment that seems to be getting smaller and smaller each day you wake up.

"what would you like to do?" he asks once he shows the tickets at the entrance and guides you inside.

"me?" you are confused. "i- i don't know."

"we have two hours to have fun. we'll do whatever your heart desires."

"really?"

the eyes you give him as you look at him all excited is the reason yunho has you all to himself. those same eyes that have looked at him from the first row at the concert, and he could not look away. you smiled so bright at him when he gave you attention, and when he saw you outside of the stadium, he knew he had very little time. and he knew he had to take you for himself. you were so sweet, and so pretty. simple things excite you, and the sight of you almost beaming is what warms yunho's heart. then, he starts to think that he might've made a mistake by bringing you here. someone could see you, and take you away from him.

no. he will not allow it. he'd rather kill you than let anyone else have you. and that's a promise he made to himself the first night he tied the pretty knots on your wrists.

"yunnie...?" your voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

"hm?" he brings his attention back to you. your eyes have lost the excited glint, and are now filled with worry. his sudden serious face must've scared you. "right. what did you want to do?"

"can i try that?" you point towards a stand.

yunho isn't surprised when he turns around to see big stuffed animals hanging from the stand, and multiple small ones arranged on the shelves against the wall behind the vendor. "do you want to play by yourself?"

"can i?"

"you may."

you roll your eyes at his correction. but before he can scold you for it, you squeeze his hand and drag him to the stand. the game seems simple enough: three balls to throw, and three pyramids of different objects to topple. yunho pays the vendor, then stands aside and lets you focus.

"go pink koala." you whisper, keeping the balls close to your chest. you don't miss yunho's chuckle from the side. "hush! i'm concentrating."

but no amount of concentrating got you the big stuffed koala. even yunho was getting irritated as time passed by. not with you, but with the vendor. "are you kidding me?"

you stop mid throw, eyes darting to the tall man in fear. you haven't done anything wrong. ...have you?

"you're telling me that those plastic cups didn't budge?" he approaches the counter.

the vendor shrugs. "are they down?"

"well, no-" yunho starts.

"oh so you aren't blind. just stupid."

oh no.

you can almost hear yunho's blood boil beside you. your hands instinctively wrap around his arm, hugging it to your body. "yunnie."

"step back." he orders.

and you do, letting go of him. to anyone looking, that would've seem mean and horrible. but you know why he told you to stay away. he doesn't want to hurt you.

"you're telling me," yunho takes a ball from your hand, "that this ball," he aims for the vendor, "didn't even budge those plastic cups?" and hits him right in the forehead.

when yunho is loud, you aren't as scared. it is when he is calm that you are terrified. and right now? he is as calm as the stuffed animals sitting on the shelves behind the man who holds his forehead. yunho crouches to the floor, enough to pick up a ball sized stone. he aims for the first pyramid of plastic cups, and throws with such strength that it manages to bring them down. he takes a second one and does the same with the glass bottles, breaking them and sending shards flying everywhere. the third rock hits the clay mug at the bottom of the pyramid, causing it to ruin the balance of the rest of them and fall to the ground with a crashing sound.

"okay, okay!" the short vendor is desperate. "take the fucking prize and leave my stand!"

"with pleasure." yunho smiles with satisfaction. you don't have time to look at him in awe because he picks you up on his back and approaches the hanging stuffed animals. "go on, angel. help yourself."

your hands know where to go, immediately grabbing the pink koala that is half your size. when yunho doesn't set you down, you look at with a raised eyebrow.

"that's all you want?"

"i can take more...?" your eyes dart between the terrified vendor and an amused yunho.

"we can take the vendor if you want."

you're not sure what is funnier:, yunho's laid back attitude or the vendor's face. in one thing you are sure: you are taking that big grey elephant.

if someone had told you yesterday that today you'd freely walk around outside with yunho by your side, both carrying a big stuffed animal that made every child passing by jealous, you'd say ha, i wish. if someone had told you that today you'd hold hands with yunho as you pass by various stands and he offers to buy you anything from it, you'd say ha, you're crazy. and if someone told you that after a rollercoaster and a haunted house yunho would take you to the ferris wheel and demand that the cabin isn't to be shared with anyone, you'd say ha, your imagination is wild.

yet here you are, sitting inside the cabin high on the ferris wheel, stuffed animals sat across from you and leaning against each other. yunho sits by your side, a cup of chocolate chip ice cream that you have picked just before getting in line in his hand. there was a no food allowed sign, but yunho would rather fight the teen boy in charge of checking tickets than see your disappointed face again when you read the sign. luckily, a single glare from yunho was enough to stop the boy mid sentence as he read it out loud.

"i can feed myself you know." you pout as he brings the plastic purple spoon to your mouth. he specifically asked for that colour.

"i know." he simply replies.

"then... may i?" you reach for the paper cup, but he pulls it away. "please?"

"why?" he brings the spoon to his mouth once it starts melting off it as to not stain your - his - clothes. you blush furiously, the thought of eating off the same spoon as him making your stomach fuzzy. "i like to pamper you. besides, dolls need maintaining."

"they also need to be played with more often." you cross your arms over your chest.

he doesn't respond, instead offering you another spoonful of ice cream. you are distracted by his piercing gaze, unable to look away. it leads to you almost missing the spoon, making most of the ice cream land on your lips rather than between them. and it's like something switches inside of him. his gaze drops from your eyes to your lips, and his hands set the cup down.

"do you have a napkin? i'm a mess-" you start licking your lips. before you can wipe the rest with the sleeve of the hoodie, yunho stops you by grabbing your wrists with one hand and looking deeply into your eyes, just before pushing you down on the seats with his other one on your chest so that you are laying with him on top. "what- what are you doing?"

"stay still." his voice is a mere whisper, a warm breath against your face. you gulp, a little louder than you intended. but he doesn't laugh. his face doesn't change. it is dead serious, with his brown eyes becoming as dark as his raven hair. his pupils are so diluted that they give the illusion of turning black. and you're not sure whether it is good or bad in this situation. "dollie..."

you lay perfectly still. the wheel has stopped, letting the visitors enjoy the view and take pictures. yunho, however, couldn't care less. not when he has you pinned down below him, hair beautifully splayed out, cheeks pink with blush, and eyes shiny and curious. and that damn ice cream on your bottom lip. he closes his eyes, then leans his forehead against yours. his nose gently brushes against yours, sending shivers down your spine and almost making you shudder. that, along with the way his one hand effortlessly holds both your wrists pressed into the leather seats has you seeing stars.

"fuck," he sighs against your lips. "fuck, what are you doing to me?"

"did i do something wrong?" the question is genuine.

"no, no." he shakes his head. "no. you're perfect. you're gorgeous. you're everything a man could ever want. you're everything i want."

he pulls away for a split second, eyes roaming your face for any signs of discomfort. when he doesn't see any, he licks his lips, then gulps.

"you're making me weak." his voice is velvet in your ears, gentle and soothing. his free hand moves the loose strands of hair out of your face, caressing your cheek in the process and continuing the path to your jaw to cup it. "and you don't even know it."

his plush lips capture your bottom one between them, tongue swiping across it to lick the ice cream off. you shudder beneath him, body arching off the seats and finding comfort against his warm chest. his hand lets your wrists go, as well as your jaw, only to find their comfort on your waist. you've never done this. yet your hands seem to move so naturally towards his hair, fingers sneaking between the soft locks and gently massaging his scalp as he nibbles on your bottom lip. a rush of heat takes over your stomach and the space between your legs. the feeling so good and new, yet so empty. you need more of him. you crave him now more than ever.

when he pulls away, it is because he needs to catch his breath, and so do you. his lips have turned a darker shade, and are so inviting to touch. and you do so, allowing yourself a moment of braveness. digits reach for his plump lips, the touch so light that yunho's lashes flutter. he can't help the desire that takes over his body and mind, pinning you further against the seats with his body and squeezing your bare waist underneath the hoodie. "you're killing me."

"how?" you didn't mean for your voice to come out so... pathetically raspy. you clear your throat. "is that bad?"

yunho chuckles in between shallow breaths. "god, you're so precious."

his lips lock with yours once again, leaving small and gentle kisses on them. until your tongue shyly peeks out to try the waters and be smooth like him. and it sends him over the edge. it makes him sit up straight and pull your body with him so that you sit on his lap, legs spread and resting on each side of him. one of his hands snakes further underneath the hoodie and follows a trail up your spine, feeling up your bare skin that burns and shivers beneath his metal rings. yunho can't keep his hands to himself anymore. he kisses you deeply, with his tongue chasing yours and seeking for a taste of you.

you taste him too, enjoying the mix of the chocolate chip ice cream and him. and he tastes better than you've ever imagined. he is intoxicating, leaving you yearning for more each time he pulls away to breathe. your body responds to him, seeking the warmth of his and aching to be held and touched. you are touch starved, and he is at fault. he might be able to redeem himself. especially when his lips take a detour from yours and continue down your jaw and to your neck. his hot tongue swipes down it, following an imaginary line and lightly grazing his teeth against your sensitive skin.

"yunnie..." you wish to call his name, but it comes out as a breathy moan. "please."

yunho pulls away, gulping once again. "what?" he breathes out.

"i- i don't know." you admit. "i need something. i need you."

"doll." he warns. "you can't say things like that."

subconsciously, your bottom lip sticks out in disappointment. you already know that he will playfully tug at it. except this time, he doesn't. he looks you with a gaze so intense that it makes you feel the smallest in the world. "sorry."

"love," the man sighs, regretting his tone. his hands cup your cheeks and bring your face close to his again, enough for him to leave a kiss on the tip of your nose. "i'd destroy you."

"what do you mean?" you should be scared. that can't mean any good, can it? just why are you squirming in his lap then, thighs aching to be pressed together and core burning up?

"oh, sweet little bunny." the realization hits him. you really are that sweet and innocent. "i just mean that..." he stops to think.

he won't be able to resist himself. and he doesn't want to hurt you. yes, he loves to see you cry. and yes, he has the twisted desire to see you split open on his cock as you cry and whine about how big he is, and how you can't fit him. to see pretty tears spilling down your cheeks as you enjoy the pain he inflicts on you, begging for more. he'd stop if you told him to, of course. he would never do anything to hurt you like that.

"you just mean that...?" you wake him up from his filthy fantasies.

his hands leave your body, only to rest on top of your hands which play with the zipper of his leather jacket. "i mean that you're not ready."

i just mean that i am not ready.

"you'll have to be a patient little doll. can you do that for me?" he tilts his head to properly look at you as your gaze is locked on his hands over yours. "angel?"

"yes."

"yes, what?"

"yes, yunnie."

"that's a good girl."

the wheel continues spinning, just when yunho gently removes you from himself and lets you sit on your own. all flushed and hair messy, you turn towards the windows, hoping to fix the situation while you pretend to look at the view and hide from his eyes. a click echoes in the cabin. then another, and another. you turn around to find yunho taking pictures of you from the opposite seats, a soft smile on his face as you try to hide into the hoodie.

"stop, i look horrible!"

"one more, come on." he approaches you, taking your jaw into his hand and making you look at him. he gets the perfect shot, your flushed face on full display, sitting so perfectly in his palm, with big eyes looking up at him. "perfect."

"my hair is a mess." you complain, hands struggling to fix the loose strands.

the dark haired man imitates your pout. "no pouting."

"i wasn't."

you jolt when his fingers tug on your bottom lip. he really loves doing that. "and no lying. you know how i feel about lying."

that you do. he hates lying more than anything. lies, white lies, being silent about things. it didn't matter. yunho hated it. your lips are too pretty to tell lies, he had told you once. truthfulness means a lot to him, and he appreciates it when it comes from you. "sorry."

seeing that he burst your bubble, he crouches in front of you, taking your hands in his and bringing them to his lips to leave a kiss on the back of each one. "i'll fix your hair when we get home. i promise."

the ride comes to an end, with yunho and you exiting last, each holding a stuffed animal. you walk beside yunho, content. you kissed him.

no, he kissed you.

yunho kissed you. it's everything you've ever desired for as long as you can remember. and it's better than you've imagined. his lips were indeed as soft as they looked, maybe even softer. his tongue a burning fire against yours, and hands molding your body like clay in his hold. you're feeling selfish, wishing for more. wishing that the wheel got stuck and left the two of you up there, continuing with the activity. as you look at his side profile - the one you can never get enough of looking at - you decide that you'll get more. you have to.

he has given you a taste, and you're already addicted.

"i need to use the restroom. sit here and wait for me." he places the stuffed elephant on a bench nearby, then the koala on the other end of it. he guides you so that you sit in between, occupying the bench and leaving no space for anyone else to sit. "i could just put you on my shelf and look at you all day long like this. stay here, got it?"

you're feeling foolish, having the whole bench to yourself. but what yunho says, you do. and you sit still, nodding your head playfully. "yes, sir!"

"i'll be right back. got your phone?"

"yes." you show it to him, secure in your hand.

"sunglasses?"

"on." you scrunch your nose, moving the sunglasses further up it.

"good. i'll be back in two minutes."

the feeling is strange. being outside, hands untied, a phone in your hand, and yunho not by your side. a light breeze caresses your hair, and the early setting autumn sun warms your face for one last time today. a once lost feeling creeps up on you, along with the fear of consequences. you've forgotten what it feels like. you've forgotten what free will is. you've forgotten what freedom is. and you haven't sought it for a very long time. and it haunts you, whispers in your ear, makes the hairs on your hands stand straight.

it lures you in.

it makes you stand up. take a step, then another. unsure at first, and a little wobbly. like you've forgotten how to walk without him. and then: you run.

you run through the crowd, around and behind the stands and tents, until your legs start to ache. you aren't used to this much cardio.

afraid that he might see you, you run into the nearest big tent. the entrance isn't the usual one, and you realize that somehow you've managed to sneak in through the exit. it takes a while for your eyes to get used to the dark. the place is poorly lit, with dark red lights illuminating the countless reflections that stare back at you. a mirror maze. out of all places you could've chosen.

you finally see your true form in the poorly lit mirror. hair a mess, face unrecognizable, wrists bruised. clothes that do not belong to you. and a pair of dark glimmering eyes that look at you from the shadows behind you.

"dollie."

how did he find you so quick? was he just testing you? testing your loyalty? did you even have a chance in running away? did you just let all that trust you built with him over the course of months or years fall into water?

but you won't let him catch you. and no amount of mirrors will stop you. you bolt for the exit, following the arrows on the floor that are upside down to you. you don't hear his footsteps behind you. perhaps it is your fear playing hallucinations on you. perhaps he is giving you a head start. or perhaps this tent was his plan too. for you to run in there, failing his test, and suffering consequences.

fear swallows you whole, causing your breathing to become shallow and fast, vision blurry, and legs and hands shaky. the faint red arrows aren't visible anymore, and you rely on putting your hands in front of you and touching your way out.

"i'm so disappointed with you, y/n."

no.

not the first name.

god, no. you can't do this again.

tears prickle your eyes, further blurring your vision. how could you have been so stupid? as if yunho is a fool. you've forgotten what he truly is. you've forgotten what you truly are. a prisoner, and its captor.

"i thought we were finally getting somewhere."

his voice is deeper than usual, echoing through the mirror maze. it makes you turn every few seconds, making sure that he isn't behind you, as if it wasn't enough to simply look at the mirrors in front of you. but your rising panic attack has your senses dull, and quickly you find yourself sobbing as you try to navigate through this torture labyrinth. every reflection is a punch to the gut, showing you your helpless frame and mocking you.

"you said you loved me."

he's close, then he isn't. you hear his footsteps, then you don't. and then, your eyes catch a glimpse of the tent's front opening up and closing. it's right there. just a few turns away. palms carelessly leave prints on the spotless mirror, and legs work hard to keeping your body up for just a little more. a few more turns. that's all you need to do.

a whiff of fresh air hits your face as you take a turn to the left, and you can smell the popcorn and cotton candy on the stands just outside the tent.

a hand is placed over your mouth, and another one around your waist, pulling you back harshly and colliding with another body. the feeling is all too familiar, repetitive even. nails desperately claw at his hands, but you know it's to no avail. you sob into his palm, tears streaming down your cheeks and continuing down his hand.

"you lied."

you are so stupid.

a light breeze caresses your cheeks. it is cold for your face, but your body seems to be warm and comfortable. even your hands. your eyelids peel open, and it takes a while to adjust to the dark. yunho's jacket covers your lap and hands, keeping you warm from the autumn breeze that enters through the rolled down window of his car.

yunho's jacket.

yunho's car.

yunho.

"no-" you gasp, jumping in the car seat.

yunho is quick to put a hand over your mouth. "hush. it's okay."

he doesn't keep it there long, removing it as fast as he touched you. he gives you time to look around and adjust to your surroundings. the first thing you notice is your hands, still untied, then, the street yunho is parked on. "what are we doing here?"

the man doesn't say anything. one of his elbows rests on his rolled down window, holding his head in his palm while his other hand plays with the lavender rope. you gulp, feeling the material on your wrists even though nothing is there. upon subconsciously rubbing your wrists, you notice that you don't wear his clothes anymore. you're wearing the clothes you thought were forever gone.

the concert outfit.

and the street? the street where you live. and your house at the end of it, the yellow trees preparing for winter and shedding their leaves.

"yunho...?"

he scoffs. "you never call me that."

you don't know what to say. you opt for silence, looking at your house in the distance and wondering why he has brought you here. then, you speak. "you kept my concert clothes."

"i kept all your things." yunho sighs, then reaches in the back seat to retrieve a backpack. the familiar scent of vanilla and whisky almost hugs you when he leans back to reach for it, his neck exposed and close to you. you ignore the tingling sensation in your stomach. "here."

he opens it for you, revealing all of your belongings, including your phone. it is smashed, and it doesn't turn on.

"i had to make sure nobody could find you." he confesses. "there's an envelope with money for the new one in the backpack."

"i don't understand..."

"you can go."

you can... go?

he is letting you go? willingly? your gulp almost echoes in the car. legs frozen, and mind a mess, you remain seated. yunho doesn't look at you. he keeps his gaze locked on a tree by the sidewalk, monitoring the swinging branches and falling leaves.

"don't make me change my mind."

it feels odd. unnatural. as if you'll wake up soon. the strange thing is that recently you haven't dreamt of running away from yunho. even now, as he is openly offering you freedom. your bottom is firmly planted on the seat.

"that's it? just like that?" you dare ask.

"yep." he still doesn't look at you.

"you don't have anything to say?" you push further.

"if you think i'm going to apologize, i am not." his eyes finally lock with yours. and it still makes your stomach flutter. "you should really go."

you are overwhelmed - no, overstimulated - by feelings and thoughts. you are angry, and sad. months or years of this odd relationship with him, being in an apartment and not stepping foot outside, locked away from the world, cut off from the social sites, completely at his mercy. eating what he offers you and wearing what he buys you. having contact with him only. trying not to go crazy when spending multiple days alone, sometimes a month too. all because you did something that he didn't like and he was punishing you for it.

and he drops you off at your house. simple as that.

hesitantly, your hand reaches for the door handle after unbuckling the seatbelt, only to find it locked. a sigh leaves yunho's lips, and within seconds, the windows are rolled up and the car starts. "dumb bunny."

"what?"

yunho steps on the gas pedal. his hands grip the wheel with such force that it turns his skin pale. the speed of the car and sudden turns make your body toss around in it. the seatbelt uselessly hangs on the side. "dumb." he takes another turn. "fucking." and joins the traffic on the highway. "bunny."

"i'm sorry!" you choke out, hands frantically holding onto anything you can reach. breathing becomes a challenge as your eyes follow the way he skillfully overtakes other cars, going way past the speed limit. "yunho! yunho, please!"

"i gave you a chance to prove your loyalty. to see if you regret using the chance and running away from me at the park. to prove that you love me, like you said it." he seethes. "and you reached for the handle."

"you offered!"

"doesn't mean you should've taken the offer!" he yells back. his voice is animalistic, deep as he almost growls the words and loud, sending shivers down your spine and coating your body in sweat. he glances at you, enough to make you start trembling. his eyes are pitch black under the lack of lights on the highway and dilated pupils from anger. "you're mine, you hear me? mine!"

"slow down," you sob, "please."

"i told you once, doll. if i can't have you..." he takes a sudden turn, exiting the highway and continuing into the forest that surrounds it. he avoids trees, driving between them and scaring the animals away, until he finally stops in front of the lake that is hidden among the greenery that is now swallowed by the dark of the night. "nobody can."

a blood curling scream leaves your lips as your eyes meet your doom. yunho drives the car into the lake at full speed.

he doesn't exit. he stays inside with you, calmly looking ahead of him as the front of the car slowly starts sinking. his seatbelt holds him in place, while you are left tilted along with the vehicle. trembling hands reach for the man. even in this moment, you reach for him.

"yunho..." your voice is a mere whisper. "yunho, please."

"nobody can have you."

"they won't." you assure him.

"nobody can have you."

"i'm all yours."

"nobody can have you."

"please don't kill me."

brown eyes finally look at you. his gaze softens at your flushed and wet face. he has control over the situation. you just don't have to know that. this is where he wants you: begging him to spare your life, making sure to let you know that he is the only one you have. that he is all you need. and that there is no escape other than death from that. he would rather drown with you than let anyone else have you.

"i want to live." you beg.

you can't help but feel comfort when his hands cup your face. ringed fingers brush your tear stained cheeks, and he can't help but lean in and press his lips to a fresh one that started its journey down your rosy skin. "you'll live. with me."

yunho leans his forehead against yours. his warm breath caresses your lips - a bittersweet refreshment of your memory. how can a man kiss so softly, but touch so roughly?

"tell me you're mine."

a sneaky glance helps you determine the current danger of the situation. you still have time to exit through the trunk. but it all depends on yunho. if he has decided to not let you go, nobody can help you with it. "i'm yours."

"good girl."

the familiar feeling of rope is back on your wrists. you'd be lying if you said that it didn't bring you comfort. the outside world seemed scary enough for you to embrace being locked in. yunho isn't the reason. he only did what he had to do to put some sense back into you.

the red rope is tied into a complex heart between your wrists, and yunho gives it a tug to tighten it and restrain you. "there. all done."

"it's pretty." you compliment. you don't ask why the rope is red. you know. you get the red one each time you do a foolish thing, so that every time you see it, you are reminded of how you let him down. "thank you, yunnie."

to your surprise, he loosens it, enough to slip it off your wrists and not undo the knot. he stands up from the bed, then gently removes the sleeping rabbit from your lap and sets it on the floor in the hallway near the cage and food, before coming back and offering you his hand to stand up. you are still soaking wet from the lake, with his hoodie hanging around your waist to warm your legs. you accept it, standing up and leaving a wet spot behind on the sheets.

"i'm sorry."

yunho only smiles, pressing a kiss to the hand he holds, and guides you to the bathroom. "don't worry about it."

you are surprised at the sight once your bare feet step on the cold bathroom tiles. the bathtub is filled with steaming water, and a few candles are lit around it. your hand is abandoned by his for a moment, just enough for him to shuffle through one of the drawers near the sink. a towel awaits for you, neatly folded on the stool near the tub. your hands untie the hoodie around your waist, letting it fall with a splat. little by little, the heavy wet pieces of clothes form a pile on the ground. by the time yunho turns around, you are left in only your underwear, body shivering from the midnight breeze that sneaks in through the tilted window. yunho stops in his tracks, eyes falling on your exposed skin that is illuminated by the soft orange light of the candles.

"uh," his gaze drops on two packages in his hands. you feel a boost of confidence storming through your veins. "i got you these bath bombs. which one would you like?"

"you pick." you shrug.

yunho looks still avoids you, turning his back towards you and approaching the tub. his hands unwrap the light pink one, dropping it in the water and helping it dissolve faster by making circular motions with his fingers on the surface. he doesn't stop until the clear liquid becomes a milky white with a pastel pink hue, with rose petals floating on the surface. "milk and rose. you'll like it."

to your disappointment, he passes by you without sparing you a glance. you can't help the hand that reaches for his, fingers intertwining and eyes that have proved themselves useful many times. he flinches, as usual. but he doesn't let go. "stay." the word comes out in a whisper.

"doll." he warns. "be good and-"

his eyes widen when you climb on your toes and rest your hands on his shoulder, lips lightly ghosting over his. you don't touch them yet. not when his hands grab your waist, and not when a sigh leaves his lips and caresses yours. only then do you finally press them against his. fingers are eager to play with his hair on his neck, and body leans against his chest to seek warmth and comfort. and the brown eyed man gives it to you, pulling you into him so that your cold skin can rest against his burning one. you can feel him, even though there is a layer of material separating you.

when your tongue peeks out to swipe over his bottom lip, yunho pulls away. you can't help the whine that leaves your lips. "you're going to be the death of me." he sighs.

"will you stay?"

"and do what?" he tilts his head playfully. "watch you enjoy your hot bath while i freeze?"

"you could join me-"

"no." he firmly says. and just like that, all you've done with the kiss has fallen into the water. his hands abandon your body, only to find your clip that he has put there himself once he helped you out of the lake. your hair is still damp, and it falls loose when he takes the butterfly clip off. it was his favourite one. "go."

"but yunnie..."

"bunny."

"you won't see me naked." you finally say.

one of the rules with yunho was that you are not to see each other naked. even now, with only your underwear on, you were pushing it. yunho made sure to let you know that he doesn't want such things with you. you only need to sit pretty for him and be obedient.

"please? you can turn around while i undress and turn back when i get into the tub."

"you still haven't answered my question. what will i do while you enjoy your little bath?" he turns around, letting you free yourself from the damp underwear. they join the pile on the floor, right next to yunho. his eyes fall on the discarded panties, and he has to close his eyes and breathe in to keep his composure. you've come a long way from being too shy to ask for a glass of water.

"you promised you'd fix my hair."

once he hears the water gently splashing, he turns around. the water is murky, hiding your bare body from his hungry eyes. while you settle down in it, yunho wastes no time in getting a hairbrush and bringing the stool to the tub so that he is behind you and the only way you can face him is by leaning your head against the rim of the tub. he places a smaller towel on it so that your neck doesn't hurt while you lean back. "clever girl."

you fail to hide the proud smirk on your face. a sigh leaves your lips when yunho's fingers sink into your hair and massage your scalp. you can't believe that those same hands almost dragged you to death just two hours ago.

"stay still." his voice is a whisper. you haven't even realized that your head was leaning into his touch, dragging your body out of the water and exposing you just above your breasts. you sink back in, covered all the way to the shoulders. "good girl."

his voice has never sounded so husky and... deep. manly. a warm sensation pools at the bottom of your stomach, and seems to start bubbling and getting hotter when your fingers brush against your thighs. it is not the first time that yunho does your hair. he loves doing it. but something about him doing it right there and then had your mind spinning. you tilt your head back to glance at him. the sight is both cute and funny: yunho dressed in all black, with a serious and focused expression as he does the familiar braid in your hair, and a lavender scrunchy on his wrist. soon enough, he pulls that scrunchy off his wrist and ties your hair with it, then keeps it in his hand to play with it.

"my pretty girl." he coos. his other hand reaches to caress your cheek, and a smile spreads on his lips, seeing how your body immediately responds to his touch. you sigh in content, nuzzling your face further into his warm hand. "do you trust me?"

"yes," you respond, lost in the way his hand trails down your neck and grazes your collarbones. "yes, i do."

yunho hums. your braid is left to hang in the air while he reaches for something. you trust him. which is why you keep your eyes closed, not bothering to see what he is doing. a gasp leaves your lips when you feel something hot on your collarbones, and your eyes shoot open.

yunho holds a candle above you, tilting it so that hot wax drips on your body. the feeling is strange. the pain is there, yet it adds to the fuel between your legs. he sets the candle back on the flat rim of the tub, then reaches for another one. "yunho-"

"you can take it." he encourages. he tilts it again, and you can't help the shuddering sigh that leaves your lips when it falls on your chest, grazing your tense nipples. "does that feel good, dollie?"

you can only nod while your fingers reach to touch your sensitive breasts. they accidentally graze the perky buds, and if you didn't bite your lip in time, yunho would know what you were doing under the murky water.

"words, precious." he tilts the candle again, more wax coating your collarbones and neck as his other hand still caresses your cheeks. "let me hear you."

"it feels good, yunho."

yunho usually hated when you used his full name. he loved your nickname. but now, as he listens to you say his whole name in almost a breathy moan, he can't help but gulp and bite his inner cheek. "one more."

fingers trail from your breasts to your core, digits eagerly pressing into the plush folds and giving you a lick of satisfaction. when yunho brings a fresh candle to your body, you can't help the impatient whimper that leaves your lips, causing him to lose it and pour it all at once on you. his pants tighten at the sight, dried wax coating your burning skin, flushed cheeks, parted lips, and eyes rolled back. your head is still resting on the rim, tilted so that he can look at your pretty face that has a warm orange hue due to the candles.

then, he notices the water moving. and he notices your hand that has disappeared under it. yunho yanks your braid, making your eyes widen. "are you touching yourself?"

you know better than to lie. but you also know how much yunho doesn't like when you touch yourself. he gets jealous, he says. yet he won't ever touch you. your hand freezes between your legs, but no matter how slowly you try to remove it, yunho already knows. it doesn't fix the damage.

"stupid little bunny."

as if you want him to meet his end, your eyes become glossy with tears, and your bottom lip quivers. he didn't mean to make you cry. but you knew the rules. and you never broke them. sometimes you'd threaten that you would, only to rile him up and make him give you attention. you've never actually done it. now that you did, yunho is baffled. he hates that he wants to keep watching. he doesn't need to look at your body. your face is enough.

"i'm sorry." your voice trembles.

then, yunho's gaze hardens. it makes you worry for a split second, until his hands reach for your knees that peek out of the water. he separates them, slow as ever, and you swear you hear his breath hitch. "keep going."

"what?" you blink your tears away, to his disappointment.

"i want to watch." his eyes are fixed on yours. when you start rising from the water to give him a view, yunho shakes his head. "i want to watch you enjoy it."

you should've known by now that he has odd requests and ways of doing things. like insisting on feeding you. holding your hand or carrying you when going to another room. putting your hair in a clip by himself. choosing which clothes you'll wear for him. this, however, you did not experience yet.

"go on, pretty. i'll guide you." his soft lips leave a kiss on your forehead. "but you'll have to talk to me when i say something to you. got it?"

"yes, sir."

he nods as a sign to keep going. he doesn't have to do anything else, because your fingers are back on your folds. he gently tugs at your braid; a sign to stop. "patience." he growls. "cup your pretty breasts for me. don't touch your nipples just yet."

back to the start. your hands obey his command, and soon enough, your thighs find themselves squeezing together and rubbing against each other. fed up with your impatience, yunho separates your knees once again, now keeping his hands firmly planted there.

"tell me," he whispers into your ear, "if it was me touching you..." he trails.

you whimper at the thought.

"what would you want me to do next?"

your imagination runs wild. you'd want him to do everything. the things you can't even say out loud. things that would surprise him. so you settle for a simple one. "kiss me."

he chuckles. "that i can do."

he teases first, lips hovering over yours instead of touching. "please." you breathe out.

"touch yourself for me." he demands. "soft circles on your pretty buds."

when you do so, he finally presses his lips into yours. it is needy, and hot. the way his teeth graze your bottom lip, tugging it and nibbling on it while your fingers work on yourself. small whines are swallowed by his hungry kisses, muffled by his hot tongue against your inexperienced one. he guides you by slowing down and letting both of you savour every lick and nibble. if you weren't in the water, you are sure you'd be burning up.

one of his hands abandons your knee and reaches for yours that grips the bathtub rim, and he guides it back under the water and to your core. he only touches your hand, careful not to accidentally graze your thighs or your slick core. your fingers move with his help, slowly circling your clit and removing them when he feels your body become tense. he denies the sweet pleasure multiple times, enjoying the way you squirm under him and whine into his lips.

"yunnie-"

"yunho." he growls. "call me by my name."

"please, please, please." you chant. "yunho, please."

"sensitive?" he asks, knowing the answer. this time, yunho pulls away, opting to admire your face and finally focusing on you. "i'll make you feel so good, doll. make you wish for nobody but me."

"please do." pleas don't stop leaving your mouth. under other circumstances, you'd feel pathetic. but right now? you are ready to get on your knees and beg. "touch me."

"i can't." he stops.

you groan in frustration, losing the orgasm once again. "why not? why won't you ever touch me? why do you keep me if you won't do anything with me? am i ugly to you? am i that unappealing? am i not enough sexually attractive? am i too inexperienced for you? is there someone else? if there is, why am i here? what do i have to do to-"

in a single motion, yunho pulls you out of the water. it splashes everywhere, including his clothes. the look on his face changes. he is furious. you are pulled into the room, water dripping behind and leaving a trail all the way to the bed. he doesn't seem fazed by the fact that you are completely naked in front of him, and that he has seen you, and thus, broken his own rule. yunho throws your body on the bed, then reaches for the red ropes on the night stand.

"no, no-" you regret your words. "i'm sorry! i didn't mean it!"

"shut the fuck up." he growls. your wrists are back in the ropes, and he wastes no time in tightening them. he turns your body around so that you lay down on your stomach, and then pulls your braid so that your head is tilted back, just like in the bathtub. "look at me."

"yunho, please-"

"look." spank. "at." spank. "me." spank.

eyes finally lock with his. even through the blurry vision, you can see just how dark they have become. you always do this. you build something, little by little, and then you become greedy and ruin it. "i'm sorry."

"what do you want?"

silence. the pain on your scalp softens, with yunho loosening his grip. his brows are furrowed, and you know you've made him more furious than ever, just by the look on his face. "what?"

"do you want me to touch you?"

"i-" you do. it's all that's on your mind right now. he had given you a taste, and you want it all. "yes."

"after all i did to you?"

this time, you are the one whose brows are furrowed. he does know what he did to you. and he does acknowledge how bad it is. yet all of it doesn't stop your body aching for his. soul yearning for his. mind longing for his. you want yunho in every way possible. you want him to be yours, as much as you are his. only then will you be happy, and only then will you stop with the tantrums.

"yes." you confirm.

"oh, doll." he turns you over again, this time gently. finally, he looks at you. all of you. he can't help the hand that reaches to caress your wax covered collarbones and chest, traveling down your stomach and to your thighs. "if i touch you how i want now..." he trails, gaze locked on your shivering body. "you'll belong to me only."

"don't i already belong to you?" you point out.

"you don't understand." he shakes his head. "i'll make it so that your body only responds to me, even when we are out in public. i'll make it so that your mind doesn't dare to think of other men. i'll mold you so that i am your only match, mentally and physically. i'll make it so that your walls mold to the shape of my cock, and can only take me and nobody else. i'll make it so that you cry from pleasure every time i get my hands on you, and i set high standards for you, that even if you tried to cheat, you'd be disappointed and crawl back to me."

"yunho-" you breathe out, gulping at his words.

"i'll spoil you. i'll kiss you. i'll fuck you. i'll do anything you ask me to. just..." the man looks deep into your eyes before he removes a stray strand from your face, tucking it behind your ear. he places his hand under your chin, raising your head so that you can properly look at him with those glossy eyes of yours. "promise me."

"promise you what?"

"promise that you belong to me. me and nobody else."

"i promise." the words come out in a whisper.

he shakes his head, not satisfied with the answer. "say it."

"i belong to you, yunho. my body and soul is yours." finally, he is satisfied. "under one condition."

he raises one eyebrow, surprised at your request.

"you can have me as long as i have you."

"you have me."

"no, i don't. not like i want to. what if you meet somebody prettier? more interesting? i've seen your coworkers. they're all gorgeous. i can't compare to them. what if you decide you want a normal relationship and grow bored of me?"

one confession after another has yunho's gaze softening. he wishes for nothing more than to press his lips against yours and kiss you like there is no tomorrow. but he has suppressed your feelings and opinions enough. "i would never get bored of you. you think i went to such lengths for something that is temporary?"

"then why don't you ever touch me?"

"because," his finger stops the fresh tear from rolling down your cheek, "once i have you, i won't be able to keep my hands off you."

"i don't want you to keep your hands off me." you hastily admit. he opens his mouth to speak, but you stop him by capturing his lips with yours. he relaxes into it, letting you lead by simply opening his mouth and inviting your tongue in. he is already burning for you, as are you for him. you pull away for a moment. "you said multiple times that you like to pamper and take care of me. now you can properly show it to me."

"i will take good care of you." he breathes out, gracing you with a hot kiss to your lips before trailing down your jaw and neck. "i will be everything you could want or need." his teeth graze the collarbone, making your hands snake around his neck. "i will be yours as much as you are mine."

his tongue peeks out, creating a path between your breasts, down your stomach, until he reaches your pulsating core. his hands rest on your waist, keeping your body firmly planted on the wet mattress. it is odd seeing someone like yunho be mesmerized by something. seeing his eyes locked to your glistening folds and bottom lip trapped between his teeth made your stomach erupt with butterflies. he is still holding back.

suddenly, the red rope catches his attention. you are still tied up. but when he goes to undo the knot, you stop him. "i want to keep them on. so you know i truly belong to you."

"doll..." voice pure velvet, yunho looks at you from between your legs. "what do you want me to do?"

you think. and think. but really, it is that simple. "everything you wanted to do, but you held back."

"you don't know what you are asking for." he warns.

"you said you'll do anything i ask." you remind him of his words spoken just minutes ago. "i ask you to not hold back."

with a groan, yunho pulls your body to the edge of the bed, burying his head between your thighs and inhaling your scent before letting his tongue taste you. immediately, your back arches off the bed, and tied up hands reach to grab his hair. the grip he has on your thighs to keep them apart is strong. so strong that you know they'll bruise.

"fuck-" his fingers spread your folds, leaving your sensitive clit exposed to his flattened tongue. "fuck!" you cry out.

he barely slides one finger inside your tight walls, and you can already feel the orgasm rushing. he has denied it many times today already, and he decides to be merciful and close his lips around the bundle of nerves and suck until you fall apart on the bed and his tongue. he doesn't give you a break, instead pulling his mouth away from you and sliding another finger inside. "so pretty."

digits easily find the plush button on the upper wall, caressing it and stimulating it to the point of making you cry from pleasure. tears spill down your cheeks, hands grip at the sheets, and body arches from the bed while your walls clench around him. when you look down to beg him to give you more, you choke on your breath. yunho humps the edge of the bed, gaze fixed on the way your walls swallow his fingers as he chases his own release. "yunnie..."

"yes, pretty girl?"

"you're humping the mattress while i am here?"

"you look and taste so sweet. i don't want to ruin it." he admits.

a laugh escapes your lips, and is interrupted by a moan when his other hand rests on your overstimulated clit. "i want you."

and just how can yunho say no to you?

"i'll try to be gentle." vision blurry and mind hazy, you don't question how fast yunho has taken his clothes off. he is on top of you, planting a kiss on your forehead before guiding his aching cock to your entrance. you clench before he even slips inside, making it harder for his wide length to separate your walls. inch by inch, yunho gets lost in the feeling of you, and can't help but slam his hips into yours. a cry meets his ears, making him realize what he did. "oh, doll. i am so sorry."

"it's alright." you assure, a hiccup betraying you.

"you feel..." he pulls away, only to slide back in again in a gentler motion and let out a satisfied hum. "oh, you feel heavenly."

all you can think about it the bulge in the bottom of your stomach. you feel him deep, and it is as enjoyable as it is painful. he is thicker than you've imagined, or ever seen, and he splits you open so beautifully, easily gliding in and out. "i want... i want..."

"you're a drooling mess, dollie." he teases. and he isn't wrong. you are so intoxicated by his smell, his touch, and the way he gazes at you, that you can't do anything else but lie down and take what he gives you. "fuck, i'm not going to last long. that doesn't usually happen."

"i'll take that as a compliment."

yunho picks you up by your waist, angling your body off the mattress and finally snapping his hips into yours, reaching into the places you never knew you had and drawing cries and moans from you. "say my name." he growls against your neck, the sticky tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each snap.

"yunho," you gasp.

"louder." snap.

"yunho," you try, but you are weak already.

"louder." he yanks at your braid, sending delicious pain to your scalp and inching you closer to your release. "say my name. tell me who you belong to. tell me who's fucking you right."

"yunho!"

"good, good girl." he praises, and finally, lets you relax as he helps you reach the peak and spill. "i'll ruin you for anyone else."

it takes you over the edge of the peak, making your body explode with pleasure that rushes all the way to your toes, fingers and scalp. you shake under his touch, riding out the waves of pleasure while he still works on getting himself to orgasm.

it doesn't take long, seeing your state of flushed cheeks, half closed eyes that lazily gaze at him, and the knot between your wrists. he spills into you, filling you to the brim and pulling out, only to squirt the remains on your abused clit. warm seed spills out of your hole and onto the mattress. you don't protest when his fingers collect the white fluid, only to push it back in.

"fuck, you really are perfect." he kisses your cheeks, then your forehead, and finally, your lips. "i guess i'll go run you another bath."

"guess so," you laugh. you watch him run into the bathroom and get his phone from the nightstand in the process, and can't help but glance at his tushy when he walks. "and yunho?"

"hm?"

"i meant what i said. i am yours, as long as you are mine."

"yes, doll." his eyes are fixed on the screen, and he is lucky he is hidden in the bathroom. he skims over the message over and over again, wondering whether he was reading it right. if you weren't right there, he would've thrown the phone at the mirror. it was as if his reflection was taunting him. smiling at him. freaking him out.

hongjoong: i know what you did, yunho. i gave you enough time to correct your mistakes or admit to it. if you don't want the police involved, you better set the poor girl free and we'll never talk about this again. last chance.

they know what he did. and they won't be afraid to rat him out. but no matter what promises he made to you today, one thing is still clear:

if he can't have you, nobody can.

I slowly put my head down in defeat and put on a cynical smile. The sky looked good today, a little too good, as if it was mocking me with how it expanded above as an ever-growing dream. Only I don't get to live that dream. Today was the day I will get executed for the sins I not once committed. "Princess," Ilri, my trusted maid, pleaded with a shaky voice.

I shook my head with a small smile and tears fell from her eyes. There was not a single dry eye right now and all I could hear were sniffles as I looked around "You shall not call me that," I tenderly patted her head. "I am no longer your princess, my father is dead."

I looked at each and everyone of my beloved maids, the ones I had grown up with, and the ones I will never, ever see again after this. "You all have served me well. May the Gods bless you and your future."

I tried to not to show emotions in my last moments with them, if I do, all the beacon of hope they have will vanish along with me. I waved goodbye to my good maids for the last time and the prison guards proceeded to put me in shackles and drag me to my execution place. They didn't even bother giving me footwear. I can feel the tears threatening to pool in my eyes, but I blinked them back. I'll be damned if any of these people see me cry. The walk was long, as if they were giving me my last shred of humanity before they stripped it away from me. I stared at the heavy shackles that bound my wrists together and suppressed a groan of pain when the guard pulled on it 'accidentally.'

My father, the former ruler of the Kingdom of Aurora, was not the best ruler. I knew my father was not a good person, and he had this coming for him eventually, but now I have to bear the sins he made and pay for them with my life. I was being led to the execution ground, each step I took felt heavier and heavier, and the screams from the people from Dune were getting louder and louder; more ear-piercing, more bellowing.

I was pushed harshly andI suppressed a groan of pain when I hit the ground and realized that my knees and palms were bleeding. I hear the guards snickering from above me. I stood up and looked them in the eye without backing down. They become uncomfortable and shift away.  Bloodlust. I slowly talked in the middle of the area, the roars getting more deafening. The people, they want me dead to satisfy their habit of decomposing, right before their very eyes.

And die I will. I kept my head held high, refusing to look down. I refuse to bow down, even if the ground hurts my delicate feet the more I step forward. It seemed like the whole kingdom was here. After the information that Aurora was down, it wasn't much of a surprise that everybody wanted to witness this spectacle. Everybody knew I would be here, and everybody knew me. They have suffered far too long and my death would make a change. Things have been thrown my way - eggs, shoes, tomatoes, even daggers - none of them hit me, yet. I tried ignoring them and continued to my set course until I stopped below what seemed like a stage.

There were people there, officials with how they wore their uniforms, but the only thing that caught my attention was the one man that sat in the middle of the stage - The King. I couldn't see half of his face, nobody except his confidants. He always had this mask that covered his lower face and it always emphasized how dark his eyes were. I'm not talking about the colour, I meant the level of sinister it held.

And right now, it held pure, unadulterated hatred towards me; the type that reduced me into nothing but a vermin. Silence enveloped the whole place, not a breath nor an exhale could be heard all throughout. An official stepped forward with his hands behind his back. He was of average height, nothing too extraordinary. But he was cunning, like that of a fox.

"Your kingdom has fallen, Princess Y/N," the King's right-hand man, Jung Wooyoung, said. "Best believe, you shall concede."

When he called my name, flashbacks upon flashbacks came into my mind. I remembered the sacrifices I had to make to get to where I was. All the suffering, the hurt, but all in vain. I didn't answer, opting to look him straight in the eye. I wasn't trying to rebel or show dominance, just that I meant absolutely no harm. "Lest you deny everything that is your kingdom," Wooyoung paused. "Your father has done, you are, hereby, sentenced to death..."

I tuned him out, my ears ringing so loudly in my head that I couldn't focus. I knew it was coming, but it didn't hurt any less.

"Kneel."

It was one word, and it had snapped me out of whatever trance I was slowly falling onto. My eyes widened ever so slightly, but I composed myself before anyone could notice. When I didn't move, a tall man wearing full-blown knight armour began to make his way towards me. I stifled a gasp when he drew a sword to my neck. I was sure he nicked the skin because I felt warm liquid trickle down. "Bow down, princess," the knight spat with venom.

The King raised a hand and in one second, the knight left my side. It was unnerving, the control he had on everyone, but not before snapping at me one more time.   "If you know what is best for you," another voice from the podium sounded. It was calm, but make no mistake, he was vicious. "Your life no longer belongs to you. Bow."

I couldn't help the fire in my eyes as I stared angrily at the stage and announced in the loudest, firmest voice I could ever muster. "I am the princess of the great Kingdom of Aurora. You may have temporarily erased my home and have taken everything from my people, but you will not take my dignity."

Screams of protests sounded all throughout the arena, but all I could focus on was the smirk from the man who spoke after Jung Wooyoung. It was as if he was waiting for me to say something foul so he'd have an excuse to kill me.

"Was." 

It was one command and it made everybody stop. It admittedly brought shivers down my spine. It was the first time I have ever heard the King speak. His voice had this rich, silky, baritone that could bring anyone to their knees. He almost had me. He stood from the smaller throne, and I almost shrunk. He was tall, taller than any man I've seen in my life, and he was broad. His form, the way he carries himself, the regality, solidified his authority. 

This was the man that killed my father, the man who destroyed Aurora, something no kingdom has even gotten close to doing. Jeong Yunho was not a man to be trifled with. "The one who speaks with a sharp tongue," he grabbed a bow and positioned it so it was pointing at me before putting the arrow on it. "It's no surprise that God wasn't on your side."

He let go and the arrow came barreling towards my direction. The force of it was so strong, I heard the 'whoosh' sound through the air. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact - waited for my death.

But it never came.

I opened my eyes and craned my head to look down and the arrow was skillfully lodged between my feet. An inch more, it would have landed on my heart. 

"Seize her to the dungeons," the King waved his hand dismissively.

I didn't protest, I couldn't, when the guards started dragging me roughly to Lord-knows-where. My stomach felt like it dropped to my foot along with that arrow, the chilling reality and the instantaneous realization that I had almost died. I thought I was ready, but clearly, the terror was indescribable at the face of death. I kept a calm disposition as I was being dragged away, but I maintained eye contact with Jeong Yunho, and he knew I was scared. I could see the sadistic twinkle in his eyes.

Before I knew it, one week had passed since I was thrown down here, one week since I'd seen any sunlight, and one week since I last felt any sort of human interaction. Time flies differently when you're alone. It was driving me insane. They weren't feeding me well, but at least I wasn't shackled anymore. The isolation did give me a lot of time to think, however.

I knew what the King was doing. My father, no matter the monster he was, loved me dearly. Jeong Yunho was getting back at him by making me suffer. Chills went down all over my body at the thought of him. I had never seen anybody in general with the type of hatred Yunho had for me. It was soul-consuming. The sound of metal clanking caught my attention. It was the guard that usually gave me my food, or at least, what looked like food. 

"Not up to your tastes, princess?" he said with a mocking tone. I couldn't blame him, my father had made the people of Dune suffer with his wicked ways.

I didn't reply to avoid conflict. "I'll be back in ten minutes," he continued. "The King wants you."

Fear enveloped my entire core. Has he finally decided to kill me after making me wait for one whole week? True to his words, the same guard fetched me and I was surprised to be lead to a small room with a bucket of water. Apparently I had to wash up before the King took to see me.

Or rather, kill me.

I hurriedly did as told and wore a dress that hung for me to take. It was a simple one, much like a commoner's.  As we walked, I couldn't help but stare at myself through every mirrored wall we passed through. Twenty-two years as a princess, and now suddenly a prisoner - someone who was truly hated because of my father.

"Enter," a grunt sounded from inside the room when the guard knocked. 

The guard left literally before Yunho was finished giving the order to come in. I took a few breaths before I walked in and closed the door behind me. It was large, unsurprisingly, and the first thing I noticed was how different the architecture was compared to my own room in Aurora. But all in all, it was as lavish as it can be. There he was, standing proudly in the middle of the room as he leaned onto what seemed to be his office table, staring at me with his arms crossed across his chest. 

He still had that mask that covered half of his face, but his eyes, they made me feel so little. I stared back at him, caught off-guard that he was actually waiting for me instead of being somewhere else and passing a message to me. "How was your stay in the dungeon?" he asked rhetorically, unblinking and unrelenting.

I averted my eyes by looking down on the floor. No matter how hard he tried to keep his expression neutral, there was loathing in those eyes. There was no warmth. I wasn't human to him. I heard him walking, his shoes clacking against the greyish tiles. "Such insolence," he chuckled darkly. "Look at me."

And I did, looking straight into his eyes once more and was taken aback by the disgust that laid on them. It was the first true emotion I saw on him, no matter how negative it was. "You're going to answer when I ask something, yes?" the King snarled lowly. "I would love nothing but to punish you, trust me. Now I'm going to ask you again," he stopped walking a couple of feet away from me. "How was it?" 

Angry tears started to pool in my eyes. "Good," I whispered.

He smirked, tilting his head. "Good...?"

Humiliation clogged up my tightening throat. "Good, S-Sir."

His cold, but satisfied, eyes never left me as a sadistic grin flashes upon his face. "Let's get one thing straight right now," he said. "You will address me from now on. You're my property now, got it?"

"Y-Yes, Sir."

Fear was stuck in my throat, but I didn't allow it to show because I knew all this would happen the moment Aurora fell and I was captured by the Dunean army. Yunho hummed in response. "I will break you, Y/N. That fire in your eyes right now will be gone when I'm done with you."

Shivers traveled up my spine at the sheer hatred that coated his voice when he mentioned my name. He motions for me with his finger. "Come here."

My legs felt like they had lead attached to them. I stiffly walked towards him.  I stopped directly in front of him, trying my best to stand upright, but I could feel my legs shaking and giving up on me. "You acted so high and mighty at the arena earlier," he clicked his tongue. "Where is that now?"

I bunched my dress tightly in my fists. "I don't know, Sir."

It took everything in me not to back away from him and I gasped in pain when he pulled my hair back hard. Pure contempt filled his features. "Do you know what your father did?" the King hissed, his fists tightening around my hair. "Do you?"

I hate him, but my hatred towards pain was stronger. I bit my lips hard so as to not make any sound. "Yes, please, it hurts---"

I felt a hand wrap around my throat - his other hand - and terror made its way to my bones.

His face revealed nothing, he was very calm, and that was what made it worse. There was no anger, no sneer, not even a mocking stance. It was nothing. He was just staring at me choking on the air he took from me as he squeezed tighter and tighter. I resorted to clawing his arms from me as dark spots started to appear from my vision, my eyes fluttering dangerously, my consciousness steadily fading away from me.

"P-Please," I begged

"Pathetic," he spat.

Finally, he lets go and shoves me harshly. I end up losing my balance due to nausea and almost kissing the floor. I looked up to glare nastily at him, but all he gave me was a bone-chilling stare that made me feel so little.

"Get up," he commanded. I coughed harshly, not hearing him, but he wasn't having it. He grabbed my hair again and dragged me up. I yelped when he grabbed my chin and roughly tilted my head up. There was a significant height difference between us, so my neck was straining. "P-Please---"

"I despise you more than your father, do you know that?" Yunho growled.

"I-I don't understand," I quivered helplessly.

He let out a sinister chuckle. "You might not have indirectly made not only Dune, but other kingdoms as well, a living hell, but you were there. It took me years to erase your father's reign of terror."  

My ears rang with each painful word and tears sprung from my eyes. "And you did absolutely nothing to stop it," he continued. I hissed when he squeezed my jaw. "I'm telling you, princess. You will be begging me to stop once I start."

"I'm sorry, I tried to stop him, I swear," I pleaded with him. "I-I'm not my father..."

He smirked darkly. "I know."

He tugged the bejeweled mask from his face, his eyes never leaving mine. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. I froze when it finally came off, taken aback when I finally saw his face for the first time. I would always remember how beautiful he was, if not for the explosive anger that covered his expressions. His sharp nose complimented his alluring eyes and his jawline was definitely carved by God, himself. However, right now, his facial muscles are tense.

"See this?" he pointed bluntly at his face. "He had the time of his life giving me this."

I was confused at first, not knowing what he was talking about, until I looked at what he was pointing at. There was a scar that ran from his upper lip straight down his chin in a diagonal angle. I paled at the sight, not because it disgusted me, but because I truly felt for him and what he had gone through in the hands of my father. Dread filled my heart. Appearances are one of the most important things about a noble, especially a king, and my father just ruined Jeong Yunho's chances of getting taken seriously by his subjects. 

My heart moved a little faster than normal when I realized that the scar never dulled his striking features - if anything, it made him even more stunning. I didn't even notice it at first.

"Open your mouth," he said. There was no expression in his eyes.

I raised my chin higher, not wanting to stall in case he actually strangled me long enough to pass out. And so, I did as told and opened my mouth wide. I cringed when he spat in my mouth, my body feeling hot when I saw a thread of saliva connecting our mouths together. It was humiliating getting spat on, let alone inside the mouth by someone who loathed me. He knew it, so he did it again. 

"Swallow," he ordered. I made a sound of protest, and his eyes flashed black. It sunk in that was my fate now, and I cannot escape it.

But I was going to bear it with dignity, or what was left of it. I was born a princess, and no amount of degradation will remove my royal lineage. His lips twitched ever so slightly when I slowly swallowed his spit, and his eyes trailed down my neck where it traced my throat as it went down, and down, until his eyes snapped back at mine again.

"Your pride and arrogance astounds me," he mocked, grabbing onto my hair again and tilting my head upwards. "Let's see how far that takes you."

He leaned down and quickly ravaged my lips in a frenzied kiss. I froze, tears starting to form in my eyes. In Aurora, a woman's kiss held utmost importance. This was worse than being taken against my will. He pulled away momentarily, irritation laced upon his face. "Behave," he commanded in a different language, a language I knew well.

My chest was pained, he spoke Aurorean, which meant he knew exactly what stealing a kiss from me meant. I swallowed down the panic and humiliation and tried my very best to detach myself from the present. I nodded, afraid of another punishment from him. He grabbed my hips, his fingers painfully pressing on it, as I opened my mouth. My father saw to it that no man was to ever get near me unless they wanted a guaranteed death.

He grunted as he bit and explored every surface of my mouth, his strong hands caging me and ensuring me that I would not be able to get out of this. I whimpered in pain when he bit my lip so hard, he drew blood. The metallic taste of it spread throughout my tongue as he played with mine.

Although it was animalistic and borderline barbaric, I could have sworn he was holding back on me. And he didn't disappoint, he pulled away with the most satisfied, sadistic, unhinged smile on his face. I was mortified, taking a step back away from him.

"W-What have you done?" I whispered torturously, ignoring the pain of my now swollen lips.

"Mingi!" the King barked loudly, ignoring me.

I could feel myself slowly hyperventilating, my thoughts jumbling into a manic mess. I wiped my lips with the back of my hand, staring at him with defiance. The door slowly opened and in comes a familiar man wearing armour. "My king?" He was the tall man who pointed a sword at my throat and managed to nick the skin on it. "Your mask..."

I knew him, at least by name. Song Mingi was a household name being the Head Commander of all the armies in Dune. "Lock her there," Yunho pointed at a specific room that was connected to this chamber. "And lock her good," he stared at me with contempt. "We don't want an uprising."

I was offended, but I had no energy to contest it. Mingi didn't share the same energy. "You're not going to kill her?"

"No," he replied. "Death is too easy. Go."

Mingi hesitated. "But, sire..."

The King started to walk away but paused without a backwards glance. "Go."

I gasped when an armoured hand grabbed my arm. "You're coming with me," Mingi growled, and then we started walking.

"W-Wait, please," I tried to reason with him, but all I got was the meanest glare I've ever seen in my life so I just clamped my mouth shut. He roughly shoved me towards the room without any remorse and I surprisingly ended up landing on a bed. I quickly scrambled up to take my surroundings in.

"I don't know what Yunho is planning for you, but it's not going to be pretty," the commanding knight spat bitterly.  I was surprised with the first name basis reference, but I chose to ignore it. With that, he slammed the door with a loud bang and I heard him lock it.

I realized that I was in a fairly decent sized room, but it was empty with only a bed and a dresser in it. There was also a small window by the bed, but it was barred, and even if it wasn't, jumping would be impossible since I would fall straight to my death. For the first time since my kingdom fell, my father was killed, and I was held captive, I felt real pain. I sobbed loudly, not caring if I could be heard from the outside. Heavy sobs wracked my entire body, and I wasn't sure which one hurt more - the one physical pain or the emotional pain. 

Everything hurt so, so much and for a moment, I was stupid to think I could do this. Why did my father's sins have to haunt me? He was dead, damn it, so why? He was a greedy man, plundering and destroying anything that resembled a civilization in his path. He killed so much that his life was barely enough to pay for every single soul he condemned. I huddled myself in my bed, burying myself in the blanket provided as I tried to control my tears from falling. I didn't want to cry anymore, but it was so difficult to stop myself. 

I have to survive, no matter what it takes. Jeong Yunho might temporarily stall me, but he will never break me.

And so another game of waiting began. Spending time in this room wasn't all bad, I wasn't getting hurt and I wasn't seeing Jeong Yunho at all, so I was able to focus on my recovery alone. Until one day, that peace was broken. I was just about to make the bed provided to me when the door suddenly opened to reveal the most majestic person I have ever seen.  He had this soft yet angular face at the same time. He was pretty.

"I bid you good morning," I bowed slightly, just in case this one was a stickler for rules.

"Charmed," he replied. His voice was only slightly deeper than the King's. "Get ready. He wants you." 

I frowned. I knew who he was referring to. "For what?"

He raised a brow. "It's not my place to question---"

I saw red. "So he could finally kill me?" I scoffed. "He can rot in hell for all I care."

I was beyond reasoning and this alone could get me killed, but I could care less at this point. The man narrowed his eyes at me with a dangerous stare. Finally, he sighed, entered the room and closed the door behind him. "Look," he began. "Personally, I don't have anything against you, but I also have no care if you rot in here with your insubordination."

I stared at him as I took his insults. There was a glimmer of anger and understanding in his eyes. "Don't make this harder for the both of us," he sighed. "Don't make him come here and drag you out, himself."

"Your king is an animal," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

The man raised his brows in surprise before chuckling. "Mingi was right. You are ungrateful."

"Am I supposed to be grateful for this?" I cried out.

"Yes, he let you keep your life," he snapped, surprising me. "You're not even supposed to be alive right now. You have no idea what he's capable of, you don't want to know what he's capable of."

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. "Now, if you're done," he continued. "Get dressed and follow me. There should be some in the dresser."

I gave in and did as told. I don't know what came over me, but at this point, I was too emotionally tired of thinking too much. Escaping reality seemed like a good choice right now. When I stepped out with him, Yunho was already waiting for the both of us. It seems that this was unexpected for the man who escorted me out as well and he had this startled expression on his face.

I almost wanted to hyperventilate again. Memories of what happened the last time I was here came rushing through my mind. I felt as if my lungs were shrinking in on me as I tried to breathe in when the King looked straight at me in displeasure, his eyes lingering a bit longer on my shaking hands. He looked away to turn to the man beside me. "Stellar work, Grand Duke."

I barely kept my expression when I side-eyed the taller man beside me. I just disrespected a Grand Duke because I failed to keep my cool and so far, he's only reprimanded me. There can only be one Grand Duke in this kingdom and I was rude. "You flatter me too much, Your Grace," the Grand Duke bowed his head.

The King raised a brow. "Spare me the servility, Seonghwa."

A deadly smirk paints Seonghwa's lips. "You make it sound like our captive is difficult."

"If she tries anything," Yunho gives me a nasty glare. "You'll be the first to know. Now, get out."

The air was so awkward, at least for me, when Seonghwa left. I didn't know what to do, but I wasn't going to wait.

"You called for me," I mumbled. "Sir."

He turned away to wear that black mask he was known for that covered the bottom half of his face. "Get ready. We're going to court," he ordered.

I faltered. That was a mistake on my part. The unmistakable fire of anger started to cloud his eyes. He narrowed his eyes on me. "What?" he asked threateningly. "Something the matter, prisoner?" 

"I-I---" I stammered pathetically, the words getting stuck in my throat. My hesitation cost me. The King chuckled lowly at first, until it slowly turned into a sadistic laugh that bared all his teeth.

"I thought we already agreed that you will obey whatever it is I tell you?" Yunho shook his head. The ferocious glint in his eyes as he started slowly walking towards me were so dark it held no reflection against them.  "I even gave you weeks to think about it alone."

Tears burned in my eyes as I averted them. "I apologize, Sir, please..."

He stops halfway all of a sudden, squinting his eyes at me in sheer fury. "Kneel."

I faltered, and he noticed. "I don't like repeating myself," he growled. "Kneel."

I sank to the ground, afraid of the consequences, my knees hitting the ground with a thud. He started walking until he was directly in front of me.

He sat down to my eye level. If he wasn't intimidating before, he certainly was now. This was the closest I've gotten to him and the proximity made me extremely nauseous. He harshly grabbed my chin, his grip was firm and ensured I never looked away from him. "Do you, perhaps, have a craving for pain, Y/N? Is that what you want?" Yunho hissed, his voice low and deadly. "Thick as you are, surely you are not that foolish?"

He paused, his hands traveling down and caressing my bruised neck. "I could collar you," a ghost of a smile. "What say you?"

Cold dread washed over me. "No, please, Sir, I-I'm sorry, don't do it..."

He didn't blink and stared at me with clear hatred. "I'm not like your father," he spat. "But the next time you displease me, I'll take drastic measures, understand?"

I nodded faster than I have ever done in my entire life. "Splendid," Yunho deadpanned. "Be on your best behaviour. Do not disgrace me."

Everything was such a blur. One second, I was kneeling beneath Jeong Yunho, the next second I was in a carriage, and the next moment, I was standing like a slave next to his throne, where he sat, while he looked on downwards. From this view, we could see everything. And we weren't alone. As usual, the Head Commander Song Mingi was there, and he was snarling at me. There were also two more people in here with us - only one of which I wasn't familiar with. 

I remember the man who was on the lower level of the box stage, he was the one who told me that my life wasn't mine anymore a couple of weeks ago. It was so bold of him. The man beside him, I have never seen him before, but it was easy to see that he was a Courtier, the king's adviser. Suddenly, the bold man looked up at me and smirked treacherously. "How are you settling in, princess?"

I shrank closer to Yunho, whose face remains stoic and expressionless. I was uncomfortable at the sudden attention. I wasn't used to being held captive at all. "Don't look away," I heard Yunho whisper. He looked up at me with no expression in his eyes. "And get your hands off me or I will make sure you never get to touch anything else ever again.

I didn't even realize that I was gripping his shoulders. "I am sorry, Sir..." With that, he left in disgust.

"Cat got your tongue?" the man continued in a biting tone. "Do you even know what's happening?"

My heart dropped to my feet. I had an inkling what today was about, but it didn't hurt less.They killed my people. The man clicked at his tongue, displeased at my lack of response. "Makes me wonder why my brother didn't kill you yet," he mumbled more in wonder rather than malignance.  

I frowned. I had no idea that the King had another brother. I stared at him for a second longer before I looked away. They looked so similar, but different at the same time. A huge difference was that the Second Prince, albeit snide, still had humanity in his eyes - something his older brother lacked. He left the room without a backwards glance at me.

I stared into space, imagining what my life would have been like if I wasn't born as my father's daughter. I sniffled, catching the attention of the people around me. I could see them sneer, hear them mumble under their breaths at how I was faking my grief, but I didn't care. My people were gone. I have failed them. 

 Even then, I didn't blame anyone but my father. Everything was his fault. A handkerchief showed itself in front of my face. "Wipe your tears now," the Courtier sighed. I didn't even notice him getting here. "Here. Take it before Yunho comes back."

Again with the first name basis. I shook my head. "I thank you, b-but I wouldn't dare accept,' I whispered, trying to keep the tears at bay. My blood boiled at the lack of care for my people, but I get it. My father was barbaric. He laughed at dying people. He was about to insist, but the Head Knight spoke. "San," Mingi began with that deep voice of his. "We have to go."

"Look alive," he said. "Everyone will be here shortly."

"W-What? Why?"

"To discuss what happened and how we'll move forward," he paused, hesitating. "Wooyoung?"

I was confused, until I turned around. I didn't even notice that there was somebody else in the room besides me and the Courtier. He began to walk towards us. "To discuss whether we should bury the dead," the King's right-hand deadpanned. "To discuss if we should include you."

"Knock it off," San warned in a heavy tone.

Wooyoung scoffed. "What?" he dared. "It's the truth. Better now than be knocked for six later."

I gulped nervously. "You hate me though," I mumbled.

He raised a tentative brow. "I do," he confirmed. "Your father killed my brother. Callously, might I add."

My breath hitched at the new information, though I wasn't surprised at all to hear it. "Jung Woohyun, was it?"

A flicker of surprise crosses Wooyoung's face. "Yes," he said slowly. "You knew him?"

I shook my head. I knew the names of each and everyone that my father had deliberately killed. I didn't do it on purpose, I just couldn't forget out of guilt. So I did the thing I knew best. I sank slowly to the ground and bowed lowly until my forehead hit the floor. "I offer my deepest apologies to you, Sir. Though I am aware that my words do not hold any weight..."

There was a tense silence in the room. I felt a shaking hand try to help me get up. Wooyoung's eyes held great anger, but they shone with intense sadness. "Your apology will never bring him back," he vehemently spat. "Though I appreciate it, nonetheless."

"That's enough for now," San interrupted, much to my relief. "Everyone is coming."

Right on cue, the doors opened and in came barreling in nobles and officials, all of whom I have never seen before, and the familiar face of Grand Duke Seonghwa alongside someone whose face was the epitome of nobility, itself. I have never seen someone so handsome before. Lastly, Jeong Yunho, the King, himself walked in with all the grace that none of the other nobles had, and behind him was the Second Prince. I took my position to stand like a slave near the King's throne while he sat down next to his brother's smaller one.

"That's the princess?" a man who was well into his fifties pointed at me. "My, she's a thing of beauty!"

I bit back a whimper at all the unwanted attention directed towards me and inched closer to Yunho's throne. A murmur of agreement resounded through the entire room and I cringed inwardly at the blatant display of lust and salaciousness in the eyes of the noblemen who stared at me. I lowered my head, refusing to be the subject of such disgusting thoughts.

"Too bad she's Aurorean," another nobleman chuckled. "I would have loved to taste that..."

That seemed to open a can of worms. Everybody seemed to momentarily forget that I was the daughter of one of the most vicious kings that ever lived, and it automatically made me the center of all of their hatred.

"Oh, our benevolent king," a nobleman bowed in front of us. "I plead that we take the Aurorean princess as an offer to appease your people."

"Heed our words, Our King!"

"Hear 'ye, hear 'ye!"

I swallowed the panic and humiliation that was threatening to spill from my mouth and I tried to back out to avoid the attention, but it was useless. I could feel my muscles straining and my throat closing up in dread.

"You're not going to let them do this, aren't you?" the King's younger brother frowned in disapproval. "This is barbaric and unbecoming of our kingdom, no matter the deed!"

I could feel my hands shaking in anxiety, is this one of the punishments that Yunho had planned for me? I stared at San, possibly the only person who had shown me mercy so far, and I could see the apprehension brewing in his eyes as he and Wooyoung looked at one another. The King didn't say a word. He continued to stare and watch the commotion unfold. The noblemen took this as a 'yes' and began to approach me, but the Second Prince stopped them.

"Halt!" his loud voice boomed, angrily standing up and glaring at everyone who dared to move. "This is preposterous!"

"But Prince Jongho, our beloved Second Prince, Aurora had shown no mercy on thy people when we were suffering!"

"Aye!"

I saw the said Prince's eyes narrow in disgust. I would've been glad to finally put a name to the man keeping my dignity, even if his reasons weren't beneficial for me, but the situation was bad. "You're right, I despise her as well, but we are not them," he gritted his teeth. He abruptly turned to the King. "Brother!" he exclaimed. "You can't let them do this! Park Seonghwa, get up here!"

But the King didn't care. Before the Grand Duke could even get up from his chair, half of the noblemen protested as if they were slighted. "The King's words, or lack thereof," Seonghwa glared at Yunho. "Are final. I'm sorry, my prince."

I looked at the Second Prince in gratitude but all he did was snarl. "Do what you wish," Prince Jongho got up and opened the door to leave, slamming it to make a point.

I cried out when I felt my arms being grabbed as I was being dragged in the middle of the room. Tears filled my eyes when I was released harshly, keeping my head down so I wouldn't have to see their wretched faces. "Good Lord, she's exquisite," I heard someone from above me groan.

I heard all the men hum in approval. I tried to detach myself from all of this - I tried to remember my childhood, my mother, and my good servant and friend, Ilri. I missed her. She would have comforted me in my times of need. I looked up to stare at Yunho. He wasn't doing anything, he was relaxed, even. Our eyes met and he just stared back without any sort of expression.

"It all ends here," the filthy nobleman who suggested this in the first place growled. I gasped when he held out a sharp knife in front of my face. "You will pay for everything!"

I cried out loud when the knife swung and I subconsciously brought my hands to my face. My arms took the hit and they were bleeding badly, but the adrenaline to survive had kept me going. Once again, I turned to look back at Yunho, hoping that my tear-stained eyes were pleading enough for him to save me from this nightmare. He was the only one who can save me, even though I don't deserve it.

I blinked back tears as I talked to him with my eyes. I remember the first time I saw him back in Aurora. Even though he had the same mask he did back then like the one he had on right now, I vaguely remember thinking how majestic he was. I remember the anger, the anguish, his declaration of war with my father and my kingdom. I snapped out of my daydream and my arms were pulled back and I started twisting to free myself when I realized that these noblemen were really going to kill me right here, right now.

I whimpered with a broken voice, something I doubt anyone heard in all the commotion that was happening.

"Enough," the King's firm voice sounded.

Yunho had no need to raise his voice or force anybody to listen. Not a sound was heard throughout the whole room except for my hysterical sobs of relief. It was the most intense feeling I have ever experienced and I used what was left of my adrenaline to scramble towards him and hide myself. I knew this man was bound to finish the job that these noblemen didn't in the future, but right now I didn't care. I'd rather die by his hands than these vultures that want to eat me alive.

"Your Grace? What seems to be the matter?" the nobleman seethed in anger. "You did not seem to deny our pleas earlier!"

"But I never told you to go ahead either, did I?" Yunho raised a brow. He got up from his throne and started to descend. I got behind him to shield myself.

The noblemen all protested in anger. "My King, we all know how much you hate her! She is an abomination in this world, she ruined everyone's lives! She deserves to die! Her father killed the Third Prince!"

I halted abruptly when Yunho stilled in his steps. His back was tense - that nobleman hit a nerve. I whimpered, this was it for me. The nobleman was not wrong; my father did kill the Third Prince. It was a well-known fact that the Third Prince was beloved. Yunho stepped closer to the crowd. I was about to trot like a coward towards him when I felt a hand stop me. I looked up and Seonghwa was shaking his head as a warning. His stance visibly made everybody uncomfortable. "She is my prisoner. She belongs to the King, who happens to be me."

His voice was dangerously low. "You do not dictate to me what to do with her. If the event comes that her life will end, I am the only one allowed to do it because I own her. She is mine."

I gasped when Yunho yanked me harshly towards him. I landed on his chest and when I looked up, his face was expressionless as usual. He lifted his mask a bit to lean down and our lips connected for the second time since we've met, then he pulled away just as fast. That shut up anybody that dared to question him, but the silence was deafening. This time, I didn't have the ability to resent him for it. I'd kiss him a million times if he'd saved me the same amount.

Yunho turned around towards the door with authority and no one dared question it. "Send Prince Jongho back to punish these cretins."

I followed him helplessly until we were back in his chambers. I jumped a bit when he slammed the door hard. He pulled his mask away from his face and threw it away into nowhere in particular. I can't say I'm surprised when I saw how enraged he was. His eyes were wide with anger and his lips were set into a fine line.

I gulped. "Y-Your Grace?"

"What?" Yunho snapped and I almost backed out.

"I-I just wanted to thank---"

"Don't," he cut off, his expression dark. "I didn't do it for you. What even gave you that idea?"

My cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "You are most right, Sir. I apologize..."

Thick silence enveloped the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and stared back at me with equal remorse. I was left to wonder what his reasons were, though I knew I would get punished if I asked why.

"You were ready to die that day."

I resisted the urge to look away from him, momentarily confused at what he was referring to. Then, I remembered. He was referring to the day when I was supposed to be executed. "I wasn't," I replied truthfully, hoping it was sincere enough. "No one is ever ready to die."

Yunho crossed his arms. "Why didn't you avoid the arrow, then?"

"Because I know you wouldn't do it...Sir."

He smirked at my boldness. "Admirable. Not many idiots have this type of audacity."

He stared at me long and hard, and I was sure he would demand for me to kneel, but all he did was turn around after. "Get out of my sight."

I didn't waste any time before he changed his mind. I scurried back to the room provided for me and quickly sat on the edge of my bed in exhaustion. I hissed in pain, remembering that my arm was slashed. I quickly inspected it and whimpered when I saw that the cut was deep.

"Oh God," I whispered, pressing the first cloth I saw on the wound, not caring if there would be blood on it, though I can't say I'm too upset about it.  This was bound to happen and I'm surprised that it took this long for my blood to spill. It's been over a month since I've been captured, imprisoned, threatened.

A knock on the door startled me. I frowned, who could it be? Do they know I'm here? No one would be respectful enough to knock on a prisoner's door. "C-Come in..."

The Knight Commander entered briskly and behind him was Courtier Choi San and another man I have never seen before.  "This is Kang Yeosang," San introduced. "He's a Duke but also a surgeon."

I quickly stood up and bowed my head in respect. It saddened me that I got used to it, but honestly, I couldn't care less anymore. "A surgeon?" I asked. "I'm confused."

The man, Yeosang, pointed at my bleeding arm. "That looks bad. Do you mind?"

I frowned, apprehension filling my guts. "You're going to...treat my arm?"

"Yes? You're wounded, why wouldn't I?"

Because I am the King's prisoner and I am lower than a slave, and slaves certainly do not get treated for any type of injury caused by nobles.

"Why? He does not fit your standards?" Mingi scoffed, and that earned him a glare from the San. I ignored him and went ahead to sit down on my bed and Duke Yeosang followed suit. He held my arm and clicked his tongue as he observed the long gash.

"Unfortunately, you need stitches," he mumbled. "I can administer them to you, but it will be very painful."

My heart dropped to my foot, but I nodded nonetheless. Yeosang gave me a colourful batch of crystal-looking things. "They're calming lozenges," he said when I hesitated to take them. "It's not going to get rid of the pain, but hopefully they will make it easier for you."

"T-thank you, Duke," I gratefully accepted them.

"Yeosang is fine," he waved his hand dismissively. I was surprised but opted not to say anything. He began tying a cloth around my arm. "This is to help lessen the bleeding---"

"A tourniquet, I'm aware," I blurted out before I could stop myself. Yeosang let out the smallest smile and nodded in agreement. I popped the lozenges in my mouth and automatically, the taste of lavender coats my mouth. I bit hard on it when I felt a needle poke onto my skin and I groaned loudly, surprised at how painful it actually was.

"So," San started. "How come you never gave me those lozenges, Yeo?"

I knew what he was doing - a conversation was better than fat silence. I screamed in pain when the needle pierced my skin.

"I need you to stay still, princess," Yeosang frowned. Tears formed in my eyes, but I obliged. "Anyway, it's because you don't deserve them, San."

"Seriously? I would have gone to the end of the world for you!"

"Then stay there," the Duke deadpanned. "Breathe in for me."

"O-Okay," I trembled. I took the deepest breath in and the searing pain in my arm almost made me want to vomit at the very least.

I saw San, and even Mingi, wince when I looked up. I had this urge to look straight and past the door, at the very end of his room, the King was there staring into the room. Yunho stared at Yeosang doing his work on my arm and I resisted the urge to scream again, but all in vain. He took one good look at me before leaving entirely.

"You know I can't live without you," San chuckled, still trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Then die," Yeosang hissed. "Both of you, out!"

"And you," Yeosang's eyes found mine when we were all alone. "I heard about what happened in court. You better check your attitude if you don't want to be a corpse before this year ends."

He paused. "That was what everyone did when your father was still king."

I cringed, both from my words and the pain, but I can't even refute him. "No matter what I do, your King will punish me either way."

"He's not like that," he shook his head. "I'm sure you know how brutal he can get, but you also know he's very fair and just."

"Not with me, no," I smiled bitterly. "Though I understand."

"Believe it or not, he's actually holding back with you."

Blood rushed all the way to my head, but Yeosang wasn't done. "If he wants to get back at you for everything your father did, he would kill you, resurrect you, then kill you again. Wash, rinse, repeat."

Goosebumps erupted all over my body at what I just heard. "All done," he muttered, like he didn't just say the most terrifying thing I've heard in a while. "Go easy on yourself," Yeosang looked at me, but I had a feeling he was talking about something else. Then, he left.

What did he mean that Yunho was holding back? 

It had been a couple of months since that. After my recovery, I've been sent all over the palace, but mostly, it's just the King either asking me to do odd stuff or keep me in my quarters. Nothing had changed, Yunho was still the terrifying person who had imprisoned me, but what's keeping me going was Yeosang talking to me a lot. I learned a few things about him, like how he never wanted to be Duke in the first place, but other than him, I've been quite lonely.

Yesterday, I was sent to the kitchen to serve food for the other nobles, but I was isolated on purpose. Whenever I had to eat, they would 'forget' me. Sometimes I don't even eat the food. Everybody dislikes me, especially the servants and other maids. Certain days, I'd find that my food either resembled animal feed or was just straight up rotten. But honestly, it's okay. At least nobody was hurting me. They hate me knowing that I was the former princess of Aurora. 

The other week, it was the gardens, but I got lost because the gardens were so huge. Yunho had lost his mind trying to find me, himself. Needless to say, he had locked me in my room until yesterday, but that turned out to be a dud either. At this point, Yunho was really going to kill me.

I should ask him if there was anything I could do around, mostly so he wouldn't kill me. I took a peek outside the room, surprised that my door was not locked, and stepped out. My room - my prison - was directly connected to Yunho's room so automatically, I was within his space. As expected, the room reflected his sophistication. Suddenly, I noticed another door at the far corner. Against my better judgment, I walked through and realized it was a small balcony.

"My goodness," I whispered in amazement as I scanned the beautiful view with my eyes. Yunho had never struck me as a person who enjoyed the little things in life. I took a deep breath and smiled when fresh air hit my nose and filled my lungs. It had been a while since I was able to relax, to be able to feel like I was myself again.

I must've lost time because I suddenly felt a chill enveloping me. Maybe it was my nerves, because I knew I wasn't supposed to be here.

"Interesting."

I jumped a bit, startled. I turned around and saw Yunho standing by the door with his arms crossed. I immediately felt dread and twisted my hands together in fear and submission.

"S-Sir, I'm---"

He was furious, disdain written all over his face. "Come here."

I yelped when he pinned me against the balcony railing, his big hands completely encasing my wrists. He dug his nails on my skin and I looked up at him, pleading for him to spare me. One mistake and I could go tumbling down my demise. "Don't look at me like that," he snarled. "It's taking everything in me not to throw you out down there."

It made me realize, am I able to outdo my father's sins one day?  He let me go and turned around. "Never let me see you in here again," his voice hardened. "Get inside."

I walked behind him, my heart pounding uncontrollably inside my chest, and in there was his right-hand man, his brows shot up in mild shock. "Did Yeosang not lock the door?" Wooyoung asked. "I told him not to," Yunho relayed, walking to sit down on the chair he always sat on when he was being an actual king and doing his duty. "A test of some sort..."

He leaned his hand on the table and stared at me. "And you failed."

I didn't know what to expect, but I should have expected that. He wanted to see if I was going to escape. "I-It's not what---"

"Save it. I don't care," he snapped. "We're going to have to straighten you out."

We?

I have never felt so vulnerable in my entire life. Yunho alone was enough to frighten me, but Wooyoung has told me he never liked me. And speaking of Wooyoung, he wasn't even baffled. His face had no distinct expression to it. I had no idea what he thought of this.

"Sit on the table," Yunho commanded. I got moving and tried to jump slightly and sit on the wooden oak table, but it was too high since Yunho was a big man. I had to use a stool to even try and get up. I tried not to whimper when I felt hands grab my waist to hoist me up and lift me effortlessly until I sat at the edge of the table with my legs dangling over it. My feet couldn't even reach the floor.

I closed my eyes and looked down on my lap to avoid making eye contact with whoever it was, but I knew it wasn't Yunho. A hand opened my knees and I was forced to look up at Wooyoung as he gently inched himself in between them so now his midriff was pressing up against me. I couldn't help but freeze, I never realized how attractive Wooyoung was before. "You are going to learn your place," Yunho spoke again, his voice taut. "You are no longer Aurorean, and Aurora is not your place anymore because you do not belong there."

What does that even mean? I tried to squirm away but Wooyoung's hands held my shoulders. There wasn't any force to it. I looked at him apprehensively and he only shook his head at me. "You're going to have to erase every bit of what you've known all your life," Yunho continued. I turned to stare at him and all he gave was a snarl. "You are the King's, not Y/N, not a princess, nothing."

All the blood drained from my face. It dawned on me what this 'lesson' was going to be about. Yunho had taken everything from me - my home, my family, my freedom - but being Aurorean still lives inside me. Wooyoung's face relaxed when he saw the realization on my face. "I'm going to teach you how to kiss, Y/N. You have to learn how to," he paused to look me in the eyes. "Not to be you anymore. That means you don't need to abide by the Aurorean tradition."

The legend was that the gods and goddesses used to marry in the sacred land of Aurora. Every time they kissed to seal the marriage, prosperity would bring itself upon the people and good luck would flourish. Even my father, as evil as he was, never screwed around the tradition.

And now, they want me to give it up. I tried to stay still, to relax my body, but I couldn't. Wooyoung leaned down dangerously close to my neck. "Sometimes, we have to do things we don't want in order to survive," he lowered his voice even more. "Nod if you understand." 

I swallowed tightly, but nodded anyway. He continued. "Yunho is doing you a favour, deviating from your tradition does not make you less of a person, but you have to set it aside so you can survive. You saw how fucked up the other nobles are. Do not give them the satisfaction of seeing you fold."

His statement hit me a lot harder than I thought. With that, he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. His eyes watched me observantly before he slowly started to move. I didn't know what I was even doing, so I closed my eyes. "Just move along with me," Wooyoung murmured. Tension filled me, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get myself to relax.

Obscene kissing sounds filled the room and I couldn't help but be saddened at the kiss I tried very hard to preserve. I felt Wooyoung's tongue trying to probe my mouth open and out of surprise, I opened my mouth to accommodate him.

"Very good," he hummed in approval in between kisses. "You can use your tongue, as well."

He was very patient with it. After a while, he taught me how to kiss back, what to do, and what not to do, and he kept complimenting me in between. I was suddenly glad that it was Wooyoung and not Yunho doing this with me. I opened my eyes momentarily and saw Yunho looking at us, or rather, just me. Suddenly, a burst of confidence went through me and a great urge to do well boosted me, but not for Wooyoung. I wanted to please Yunho, because he was watching.

Wooyoung groaned softly when I bit his lip and I felt his erection press against my thigh. His hands began roaming against my body, reaching lower until they reached my hips. "That's enough, Wooyoung," Yunho commanded, his voice cold and uncaring.

The latter pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine, but not before giving me another peck on my lips and then my head. "You did good, Y/N. You're going to be fine," Wooyoung tucked my hair behind my ears, surprising me.

He turned around and bowed to Yunho, who was now standing and staring. "Your Highness."

"Get out."

Wooyoung hesitated, but gave in and left the room. I was apprehensive, lost in thought, when I felt another body replace Wooyoung in between my thighs. I looked up, and I really had to look up, and saw Yunho staring down at me. He leaned down, just like Wooyoung did. "Well done," he whispered. "I have to reward you for being good, so you have to be good all the time."

My mind went haywire. My father never exercised the reward system. I had so many questions, but mostly, I was just afraid he'd hurt me. "Tomorrow, I instructed Seonghwa and Yeosang to go into town to extract some jewelry," Yunho said. "You will go with them to discern if they're real or fake. You know how to distinguish them, yes?"

I nodded, not knowing where this was going. "Splendid," he hummed. "Mingi will accompany you, consider that as free time. But mark my words, I will burn this city down just to find you if you escape. Don't be a fool."

"I understand, Sir," I mumbled, confused if this was a trap or not so he can finally have an excuse to kill me.

Yunho stared at me for a minute or two longer before he withdrew himself and walked away. "You're excused."

That night, I spent the whole time thinking about what just happened.  Besides my disdain about my tradition being squashed, I was left wondering if that trip with the Dukes tomorrow was the reward he was talking about. It was certainly odd, was he being lenient on me? That was a reward in itself.

The next day, I found out what he truly meant. It was how I found myself in the town square walking in between Dukes Yeosang and Seonghwa and trailing behind us was a grumpy Mingi. "Try to keep this on, please," Seonghwa fixed the hood that covered my face a bit. "We can't risk you being seen out here."

Temporary freedom. I understand why I was here, the town was beautiful - Dune was beautiful in general. I adjusted the hood myself and tried to look around in fascination. On the outside, Aurora looked like this as well. The main difference was the people of Dune looked happy and were happy. The facade was so obvious back home that it hurts my heart to remember it as we walked past the town, but I was happy that people here found the happiness that my father stole once.

"Right there," Yeosang pointed out somewhere that I didn't even bother looking at. "They should be in there."

The four of us went inside this tavern, the type that was closed during the mornings. Seonghwa led us to the back part of the place and there were two people who looked like thugs waiting for us.

"Who's that?" a gruff voice pointed at me. Seonghwa bought his arm protectively in front of me when they tried to pull my cloak off.

"She will be your ticket to live," the Grand Duke glared. "Because if the gems are fake, I will personally slit your throats."

The thugs glared back but didn't say anything back. Instead, they grabbed their pouch and presented them to all of us. Seonghwa grabbed it, took one good look, before giving it for me to inspect. I was a bit surprised to find various gems of various sizes. There were the obvious diamonds, emeralds, sapphires, but I was surprised to see lesser valued stones, which were still considered expensive but definitely not ones that royals would own. My eyes gleamed when I saw amethysts and pearls, my personal favourites, but frowned when I stared closer. I did what I could, touch them, feel them to gauge my thoughts.

"Well?" Yeosang asked when he saw me frown.

I took a deep breath before I spoke. "Everything but the amethysts were real."

"Impossible!" the thugs seethed at me, charging fast before anybody could stop them. "You lying whore! I ought to---wait, you look familiar."

My blood ran cold but I tried to remain calm. "I-I know nothing--"

Mingi pulled me back as Seonghwa drew his sword to point it at the oncoming thugs. "Swindling bastards," he scoffed. "The amethyst was the one we were looking for too..."

It was in slow motion, one minute everybody was arguing about the fake amethyst and the next, my cloak was being pulled off unknowingly, therefore, blowing my cover. "You're that princess!" the thugs exclaimed in surprise and disgust. 

It was too late before they could be stopped, they began charging at full speed as they hollered for the other thugs. I was frozen, never in my life have I experienced something like this.

"Son of a bitch," Yeosang hissed as he snatched the forgotten pouch. "This was their plan all along, what now?"

Seonghwa looked conflicted before he made a split decision. "Run."

I was pushed harshly by someone and I ran along with everyone as fast as I could. I took a peek behind us and saw no less than ten people chasing us down. It was definitely the adrenaline, I could never run like this in normal circumstances. I screamed loudly when I felt my dress being pulled back, halting me abruptly from running. I wasn't sure if I was loud enough, but apparently I was because in a second, Mingi swung his sword down my dress and ripped it apart from the thugs.

"Let's go!" he shouted at me. He pulled and launched me in front of him in a hurry and I thought we were doing well.  I heard a groan of pain and saw that Mingi's lower leg was bleeding from what looked like an arrow graze. I halted and tried to run back to him, but he glared at me fiercely.

I nodded and ran, realizing that Seonghwa and Yeosang were separated from us, but at this point, I couldn't really care about it. I just hope they were safe. Soon enough, the both of us were able to hide in a narrow alleyway. We stayed unmoved, not breathing, and nervous as we hid. When we were sure that they were truly gone, we finally let out a long sigh of relief and slumped against the wall.

"Thank you," I breathed out towards the knight. He doesn't respond, he doesn't even spare me a glance. I frowned, my eyes trailing down his bleeding leg. "That looks bad," I whispered.

He raised a brow and finally turned to me. "Maybe because it is," Mingi snapped. I was used to this type of treatment so at this point I was immune to it. I stood up and his eyes followed my form as I began to lift up my dress. His shocked expression was the last thing I saw before he turned around. "What are you doing?!" he hissed, his ears red.

I ripped a part of my already torn dress into a strip and leaned down next to him. "Stick your leg out, please."

I tried to put my hands forward and he jerked away. "Don't you dare touch me," he snarled lowly at me and for a second, I hesitated.  "Please, it's my fault--"

"I'll do it and, what, you're going to poison me?"

"No! I mean, no. If I do, feel free to kill me," I pleaded. "Just give me a chance, I-I won't bother you again if you say no."

He contemplated for a few minutes. Surprisingly, he does as he was told, finally realizing my intentions. He watched as I skillfully wrapped the cloth on his leg enough to stop the blood and hopefully avoid any infections. "You are surprisingly good with this," he commented with the softest tone I've heard him speak towards me when he realized I wasn't going to hurt him.

"Let me know if it's too tight," I let out a small smile, completely ignoring his probing look.

There was silence on his end as he stared at me calculatingly. "Thank you," Mingi finally uttered, the traces of spite I was so used to seeing on him when looked at me gone for now.

"W-Wait, you're not supposed to," I tried to stop him when he stood up and stretched his injured leg.

Mingi shrugged. "We have to go back," he stated. "The King will punish you if you're not back yet."

"I don't care," I frowned. His eyes widened slightly. "You're injured, we can stay a bit."

He chuckled and began walking anyway. "No offense, but I've been to war. A graze to the leg isn't going to kill me."

I blushed in embarrassment. He was right, how could I forget that he led an entire military fleet?

When we walked back to the carriage that took us here, Seonghwa and Yeosang were already there, the relief in their faces disappearing when they saw Mingi's bleeding leg and my torn dress. We filled each other in on what happened and I was glad to know that the two of them were able to lose the thugs pretty quickly.Soon enough, we reached the palace and I felt a little sad. I was about to go back to my reality here and I wasn't ready. 

"Thank you for what you did with Mingi," Seonghwa chatted while we all walked towards my quarters.

"Y-You're thanking me?" I asked a little bit in surprise.

"Of course," Yeosang frowned, then the realization hit him. "What you did was still worth praise, whether you are a princess or not."

For the first time, I smiled brightly. I forgot how good it felt when people appreciated you rather than speak you with contempt. Mingi was about to say something, but we were interrupted by a panicked looking San approaching us. "What's the matter?" Mingi asked instead.

"You're late," San sighed tiredly. "And he's angry."

Alarm bells started going off in my brain. One thing that I noticed before everyone else even told me was that Yunho was very strict in his time management. It's the one thing that gets him automatically angry when things deviate from said time. And with that, the three of us ventured to the royal chamber. I was outright shaking at every step I took. The King's room was at the isolated part of the palace and from a distance, we all could hear raised voices and some stuff getting thrown off and hitting hard surfaces.

When Yeosang opened the door, the room was in slight disarray, the obvious culprit was the seething King glaring at the three of us as his chest rose up and down in anger. The Second Prince was sitting cross-legged at the couch looking the most relaxed as if he was so used to seeing his older brother lose his temper often. Yeosang walked towards him and whispered something in his ears. It was tense as Yunho continued glaring at me specifically. I'm surprised I haven't dropped dead yet by how hard he was looking at me. Jongho's brows raised slightly as he took a glance at my torn dress and Mingi's leg before nodding and following Yeosang out of the room.

"Just think about what I said," Jongho voiced out before completely leaving the room. Then it was three. It reminded me of my very first time setting foot in this room, Mingi had been there to watch the scene unfold before he dragged me to the quarters. That day felt like a fever dream.

"Close the fucking door," Yunho uttered after a few tense minutes. I was about to move and do as told when he stopped me. "Not you," he hissed. "Come here."

The prominent veins bulging on his temples made me swallow the saliva I hadn't noticed collecting from the hollows of my mouth. His face and tone did not give away his emotion, but I knew for a fact that this was the angriest I have ever seen him since I had met him. "Convince me," Yunho taunted after he sat on the couch where Jongho was earlier. "Convince me not to kill you right now."

I bunched my unkempt dress in my fists because of how scared I was. It doesn't escape the King's attention and he purses his lips in displeasure.

"It's not her fault," Mingi jumped in when he saw my eyes wavering. "Not entirely anyway."

He took a moment to stare at our state - how disheveled we both were - but he didn't seem to care. He turns to the Head Knight with narrowed eyes. "Walk away," he said calmly, too calmly. 

"But---"

"Now."

Mingi took one good look at Yunho and with a dejected sigh, he quietly left the chambers. I felt a mix of fear, comfort, and assurance. Mingi and I weren't buddies by all means but it was the first time somebody had directly defended me in front of the King and it was refreshing.

"Let me explain for all of us," I said out loud. I wasn't sure where that burst of confidence was coming from, but it felt good. I felt like I was a princess again after so long.

Yunho raised a brow, eyes slowly morphing from surprise to anger. "No."

At the end of the day, I was still afraid of him overall. "S-Sir, with all due respect I just wanted to explain---"

"Whatever happens outside that doesn't involve me directly, I have no concern, no power over it, slave. You best wise up because I am losing my patience with you," Yunho stated with no expression. I shuffled my feet, my heart stilling when I realized that after all of this, I still can't face up to him. One word and I know he will either have me executed or just finish me off, himself. "You do realize that I tolerate you simply because I'm not ready to kill you yet?" Yunho roughly lifted my chin up so I could meet his eyes. "The goal is to slowly break you, yes?"

Tears began to pool at the corner of my eyes. That look in his eyes, it was the same look my father had when he was about to do something very sinister. I began to whimper when he started to lean down again, but instead of the usual stolen kisses, he leaned down my ear. "I'll let you in on a little secret," he whispered. "I know everything that goes around. Including what happened. I even knew the amethysts were fake."

Everything clicked all at once. He didn't need me to verify if the gemstones were real or not - he just wanted to see if I was capable of following the rules and not escape once I'm given the opportunity. "However," he leaned away. "You do need to be punished. You were late, but you know what?"

I looked at him expectantly and he continued. "There was a small part of me that wishes you did disobey me. I would have had a reason to kill you for good."

He tucked my hair out from my face behind my ear with the coldest look in his eyes. Shivers traveled down my spine when he traced my now exposed collarbone lightly. "Don't you think it would be a shame if your skin gets branded?"

At first I didn't understand what he meant, but when it hit me, all the blood started traveling up to my head and effectively giving me intense nausea. I started to beg. "P-Please don't---"

"Why not?" he sarcastically asked. He unbuttoned his shirt - or rather, he pulled roughly on it and the buttons loosened - and set a section of his shirt aside to reveal a nasty burn on his smooth, otherwise flawless skin. "We have to get even somehow."

Horror replaced my expression of fear and terror. My father branded and burned his skin as a form of torture. I swallowed as I looked at the scarred area, finally understanding the extent of his anger and hatred towards me. He must've been through a lot. "So, how about it, Y/N?" Yunho buttoned his shirt back. "The goal is to slowly break you, yes?"

Acceptance passed through me, and I felt like I was separated from my body. "Go ahead. I-I don't hate you," I blurted out.

His brows shot up in amusement. "Interesting. Why?"

I bit my lip, hesitating if I should tell him or not, but it was too late to back out at this point. "I don't want to give you more power than you deserve over me. I simply don't care about you, even though I know why you're doing this to me."

In an instant, I regretted my decision. Yunho's face slowly transformed from neutral to pure hatred in a couple of seconds. His entire face reddens in anger and I yelped when he grabbed my arm and began dragging me roughly towards his side of the room and threw me on his bed. He hovered over me quickly. His eyes were becoming so red from anger and the usual scowl in his face was getting deeper and deeper. My heart sank, he was so beautiful even when he was on the brink of going insane with rage. "You're going to submit to me," he gritted his teeth as he seethed in anger. "Consider this another lesson, you know what I'm going to do to you right now?"

I shook my head frantically when he started to blindfold me. He barked at me loudly to stay still and my body just froze in complete fear. The blindfold had completely darkened my sight and all my pleas were getting ignored.  I felt Yunho get off of me and I heard him walk towards the far end of the room. When your sight is taken out, all the other senses become even stronger.

"You can thank your father for the wonderful scar he gave me," Yunho's voice was coming from the very front of the bed. I heard metal clinking against one another and my body froze in realization.  “But I’m not going to,” he whispered. "Open your eyes."

"W-Why?" I whispered.

"Your father made me into the monster that I am, this is just a taste, but I wouldn't do it to my worst enemy."

He stood up and urged me to follow him. I wiped my tears and got up to follow him. I have nothing to lose at this point. I followed him towards the section of his chambers I haven't been before and was a bit surprised to find shelves upon shelves of books. I stared in awe, my father never let me read, but it never stopped me from sneaking out and learning anyway.

"Pick one and take it," Yunho gestured to the shelves. "And pick well. You won't have this opportunity again."

"How did you know I can read?" I asked, my voice scratchy.

"I just do. Hurry up before I change my mind."

It didn't take a while for me to decide what I wanted. There was this specific book I've always wanted to read but I couldn't because it wasn't accessible to just anyone. I looked around and found exactly what I wanted. I tiptoed to reach it because unfortunately, it was perched very high. Figures. The owner of the book was a foot taller than me. My cheeks warmed when I felt heat directly behind me. I looked up to see Yunho, his arms outstretched. I couldn't help but stare at him. He had such sharp yet delicate features at the same time. Subjectively and objectively, there was no denying that he was beautiful. He was the dark, melancholic type of beauty.

"Divine Comedy," Yunho raised his brow as he handed me the book. "Interesting choice."

I nodded, not knowing what to say. "Thank you for the book, Sir."

Yunho hummed in response, his eyes held no expression as usual. He took one look at me before walking towards the door. "Organize my suits and pair them with my pants according to your liking. I'm not sure what time I'll be back, but I'll send someone if I don't."

He was like this. Sometimes, he would ask me to do odd jobs for him here and there, like he didn't just threaten me. I had a sneaking suspicion that it was so I didn't even think of escaping - not that I could, his chambers were heavily guarded - but I digress.  I did what I was told. It was easier than I thought since Yunho seemed to be a very organized person, himself. I couldn't help but realize how much I've memorized the way he wanted certain things - he did like blue a lot, disliked velvet, and the little things that went unnoticed by many.

But so far, I haven't been asked to work somewhere else. Mostly, I would just stay in my quarters or Yunho would call me out for certain things. The other maids and servants had found ways to sabotage me. The last time I was out, I was asked to do the laundry, but the servants locked me in the drying room. Yunho almost executed me on the spot even though it wasn't my fault. I got distracted and I opened the book given to me. It had been a while since I felt like myself again and I was doing anything to preserve the little happiness I had right now before it went away again.

"Wow," I exclaimed in awe as I turned the book from page to page, genuinely excited to be able to finally read again.

I sat on Yunho's bed, biting my lip in apprehension. It was just a few moments and a couple of pages before I went back to work again. Besides, he said he wasn't going to come back, right?

For once in my life, I wanted to give in and just do what I wanted, and so I did. Yunho's bed was much softer than mine so the added comfort was giving me pure bliss as I continued reading on.

Soon enough, all the events that happened today were all forgotten as I got lost into another world that wasn't mine.

"How long do you think it's been?"

"I don't know, and I don't care."

"Really? You've never let any woman in your room, much less sleep on your bed, Yun."

"I didn't know you were so obsessed with me, Uncle."

"Don't call me that, brat. Anyway, should I wake her up?"

"No. Leave her alone."

It was one of those moments where it felt like my soul was separated from my body. I could hear everything, but for some reason, my brain wasn't connecting anything and my spirit wasn't waking up. I was aware that there were two voices, one of which was Yunho. All the fatigue caught up to me and I let myself fall back asleep once more.

This bed was the most comfortable thing I've ever been in. It wasn't the quality of it, the one I had back home was softer and bigger, but the solace it brought upon me, though I never understand why. 

"You didn't finish your chores."

I squeezed my eyes shut before I sat up. There was no point in pretending since he knows anyway. Yunho didn't even bother to look at me, he was busy writing on a parchment and reading a book at the same time. "I apologize, Your Highness."

I realized my mistake when he paused a bit. Yunho had never told me to call him anything other than 'Sir' before, and surprisingly, he didn't comment on it. "Apologies won't get them done," he grumbled. "I didn't mean to sleep on your bed," I moved to take the blanket off. "I'll just---"

He put a hand up to halt me. "Stay. I need to ask you a few questions."

I nodded, unconsciously grabbing the blanket and wrapping myself around it. I felt a little exposed, though I'm sure Yunho would never look at me in that way, but the way he was looking at me right now, it left me a bit unnerved.

"Anyway, it's time for you to give your dues."

I was confused, but I let him talk anyway. "I need to permanently end your father's reign," his eyes turned stony for a moment. "And you're my ticket to that. For now, find something to do and come back here within three hours."

Right. That was what this was about anyway - at the end of the day, I was nothing but my father's daughter. Without being told, I got up and started to make the bed. I was starting to get better at it as time went by but I still wasn't good at it. I could feel Yunho's eyes follow my every move and it was slightly uncomfortable but nothing unmanageable.

"Get out, Y/N," he said without sparing me another glance.

This is where it gets tricky, my first instinct was to always go to the gardens, but the moment I stepped in, everybody literally glared at me. "No shame at all, princess?" People would snort at me.

Same with the kitchen and all the other sections I can think of. Without any other choice, I decided to walk my way towards a place I've been putting off for a while. I just hope that the person I'm looking for was there. I took a deep breath before knocking on the wooden infirmary wooden door. Luckily for me, Yeosang was there, but so was another person.

"Y/N? Are you hurting somewhere?" Yeosang frowned as he slowly made his way towards me.

I smiled. He was genuinely thoughtful towards me and I couldn't help but like him. "No, he sent me to do stuff but..."

He nodded his head in understanding. "How long do you have?"

"A couple of hours, I-I just, uhm..."

Yeosang quickly held my shoulders and led me to sit on his station. "Don't worry, I'll find something. He was just leaving," he gestured to the man he was with. "By the way, this Kim Hongjoong, he was visiting from Wonderland. Hongjoong, this is..."

That name sounded extremely familiar. I was pretty sure my father had mentioned it once or twice. 

Sensing Yeosang's hesitation, Hongjoong cleared his throat. "I know," he shook his head. "It's quite a shame, I know why he's imprisoning you and I get it."

He sighed. "But you are not your father. The princess of Aurora has no business being here."

My heart fluttered, but I couldn't relish the feeling. The fact of the matter is, I was here and nothing I could do was able to change anything. "I-I appreciate it," I gave him a tight smile.

Hongjoong patted my shoulders. "To suffer is to find meaning in the suffering. Be strong." He walked out to leave. I frowned, his voice sounded awfully familiar too - the tone, the diction. I let it slide for now and focused on today's agenda. Yeosang was nice enough to let me clean around even though I didn't need to. It was embarrassing, he had to teach me how to do them. Soon enough, hours passed and I had to go back. "Thank you very much for helping me out," I bowed. "I-I don't want you to get in trouble for being associated with me."

"Don't worry," Yeosang brushed off. "Here, give this to him when you go back so he's in a good mood."

He handed me a scroll that was carefully held together by a thin thread. "This is just intel. Political stuff."

After saying more thanks and more promises that I'll go back to either him or San for more work, I waved him goodbye and went back to Yunho. "Right on time, Y/N. Well done," the latter praised without even bothering to look up from his work. I frowned, has he been working the entire time I was gone to do some duties? I stood directly in front of his table and he didn't notice at first. "What's that?"

He was referring to the scroll. I gave it to him and he proceeded to read it. I couldn't even tell if it was good news or not, he always wore no expression on his face. "Mingi," Yunho called. The said man entered the room shortly and waited patiently. "Summon the Second Prince and the Grand Duke."

"S-Should I go to my chambers, Sir?" I stammered, my heart in my throat, when Mingi had left.

"No," he glanced at me once. "It shouldn't take long."

Minutes later, Prince Jongho came in with Wooyoung in tow. It was odd and I couldn't help but hold my breath as I stepped back to give them space. Yunho had never, ever let me stay before when he had to discuss anything involving the kingdom and right now, I didn't even know what to do.

"Well?" Yunho asked impatiently when nobody said a single word.

"Brother," Jongho stared at me pointedly. I cowered, his glare had the same quality that Yunho has, except his was deadlier. "Do you wish to proceed with her in the room?"

I sighed softly, between the two of them, the Second had always been more vocal about his hatred towards me, so this comes as no surprise anyway.  "Why not? This has everything to do with her, no?" Yunho leaned over and looked at his brother with a challenge. "Or do you just have a habit of contradicting me every chance you get, Jongho?"

I know that look, and I hated it. It was rhetorical; he was waiting for you to fail so he could strike. It was what made him more terrifying than his brother or anyone else, for that matter. "You know that's not what I mean," Jongho gritted his teeth. "Her father---"

"I know who her father is," Yunho banged the table loudly with his fist, the sound of it making me jump up slightly.  The silence in the room was deafening, even Wooyoung who was usually the one who deescalated everything didn't utter a single word.

"You should have been King, Jongho," Yunho smirked sarcastically, the veins on his neck almost popping in anger. "Having said that, my prisoner is perfectly capable of shutting her mouth. Come here, Y/N."

I was a deer in headlights. Why was he asking me to come over? I had no time to wonder, my feet had a mind of their own and started walking towards the King. I lowered my head when Jongho's glaring eyes followed my every move until I was directly in front of Yunho. "Sit down," he commanded. I was confused and looked around helplessly until Yunho shook his head and pointed at his lap. "Here."

My eyes widened and my face began to heat up wildly at the suggestion. He was such an enigma to me - one moment he would be this close to actually ending my life, and the other he would do things that confused my heart. I was used to his humiliation and unfortunately, everyone else was also used to Yunho doing so. It wouldn't be the first time in front of Wooyoung, but it would be in front of Jongho. I sat gingerly on Yunho's thigh, my cheeks reddening gradually in an intimate position.

"See?" Yunho mocked as he snaked his arm around my waist. "She's such a good girl."

Both Wooyoung and Jongho's face wore an initial shock and they turned their heads to avoid looking at me and the King. I know why he was doing this - it was to show that I do whatever it is that is told of me, no matter how humiliating and degrading it was. This was how he was. He had no problem dehumanizing me. I just had no idea how far he'd go sometimes. What's more is that it was also to keep everyone in check. Right now, Wooyoung and Jongho looked extremely uncomfortable.

I yelped when Yunho lifted my waist a little to position me properly on his lap and my buttocks was directly above his nether regions. My breath kept hitching at every single move and I could have sworn I stopped breathing when he leaned my back towards his chest, the heat of him directly seeping onto me. "Proceed," he commanded. It was one word, yet it held so much weight. I shuddered when his warm breath tickled my skin. He chuckled softly.

The hesitation was clear on Wooyoung's face, but he cleared his throat and proceed to the talk about all the affairs, specifically about Aurora, and alternated speaking with Jongho. They were still uncomfortable, but I could tell they were ignoring what was happening just so they could get out of the room quickly. "You're going to be good and stay still, right?" Yunho whispered on my ear low enough so only I could hear.

I squirmed and tried to turn away but his dark eyes held me captive. I nodded slightly and he gave me a lazy smirk. A zing of pleasure shot through me, I have never seen Yunho's face do anything other than frown or scowl.

"Tell me all of the infrastructural damage and the cost," Yunho stated, his lips getting dangerously close to my neck.

"Right away," Jongho grumbled, clearly displeased at the scene unfolding before him, and began to recite everything.

I couldn't concentrate on any of what they were talking about, my heart was about to leap out of my chest and I was afraid that I couldn't catch it. I bit my lip hard when he leaned in and placed his lips on my neck. Something stirred inside of me as his mouth moved slowly and surely as if he had done this before. I made eye contact with Wooyoung but he just turned away, his face holding extreme discomfort. I gripped my dress tightly in my hands when  I felt him lightly suck on a certain part of my skin and wetness pooled down my core. It was an unexplainable feeling and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. I let out a tiny whimper and everybody freezes. Yunho pulls away and I shut my eyes in pure embarrassment.

"Get out," Yunho growled lowly.  It was all Jongho and Wooyoung needed. They both ran out of the room in record time as if something terrible was chasing them down. Yunho took one good look at me and demanded. "Get on the bed, Y/N."

Shivers worked down my spine as I quickly got off him and climbed towards the bed. Soon enough, the bed dipped down and then his body blanketed over me. He suddenly grabbed my hair and my eyes automatically swelled with hot tears. But I felt no fear. I didn't understand what I was feeling, but it wasn't fear.

And then we were kissing. Or rather, he was claiming my lips. That one lesson I had with Wooyoung did nothing to prepare me with his onslaught. Yunho was rough, there was no emotion behind the gesture. His goal was to take what he wants without giving me anything in return. 

"You can do better than this," he murmured, my bottom lips between his.

Tears filled my eyes, but my heart soared. I was so confused about what I was feeling and it was making me extremely emotional. I felt my head grow weary with the realization of what I was feeling, though I wasn't too sure. That 'lesson' with Wooyoung did nothing to prepare me for this. I let out a small moan when his tongue started to play with mine, much to my shame and helplessness. There was not any sound or grunt from him.

And then he just stopped. He leaned his forehead on mine and I breathed his scent in. It was a mistake because I knew I would look for it from now on and I can't just get it when I wanted - no, needed - it. He got off and laid down next to me, his eyes watching me, and I watching him in return.

"You are my prisoner and you should never forget that," he rasped. My heart was in my throat and I was about to apologize, when he continued. "But today, I'm going to pretend you are not."

I was too sleepy to comprehend anything, my body was slowly giving out because it was like Yunho sucked my soul out of me with his onslaught. I realized that he, too, looked worn out. I wanted to say something, anything, but the fatigue was slowly catching up to me.

"Sleep," he whispered. As I slowly fell into a slumber, I felt an arm pull me closer to a warm body. Yunho felt warm, I needed his warmth. I craved it, and I don't understand why.

"These are actually beautiful, you did a great job," San smiled as I led him through the garden and showed him the strip of flowers I planted. "You have talent for this, Y/N."

"Thank you," I giggled daintily. "It's all because of you I was able to work in the gardens."

It's been closer to a year now ever since Aurora had been conquered and I was imprisoned as collateral. Lately, I've been working mostly in the royal gardens after the old caretaker had passed away. Most of the servants did not understand the language of flowers so I took it upon myself to take over. Well, San pulled a few strings.

"I have to get going now," San sighed. "The King sent me to Wonderland for some business, I'm afraid you won't be able to see me for a couple of months."

I nodded in understanding. "Take care. Would you please kindly tell Kim Hongjoong my greetings?"

I don't see Hongjoong a lot but he does come visit often. I've yet to figure out how I knew him from before, I still haven't figured it out, but he's been a wonderful company; very different from all the hate I've been receiving.

"Oof!"

I groaned in surprise when a child no older than four stumbled onto the ground, but not before accidentally hitting my legs. I quickly got down on my knees and helped the poor child. "Are you okay?" I asked worriedly and dusted off the dirt from her clothes.

"I-I'm lost, I can't find my mommy," the little child's lips quivered as small tears fell from her chubby cheeks.

"You poor thing," I cooed. "Come, why don't we look for your mommy?"

I quickly held the little girl's small hands into mine as we ventured off. The royal garden was vast, it took me a while to get used to it too and got lost on multiple occasions as well. I took her to the exit where all the servants gathered, and sure enough, one particular woman was frantically running around and asking people if they had seen a child wander off that was no older than four years old. When she saw me, her face went pale as a ghost  even as her child slowly ran off to her mother's embrace. She quickly ran to me and bowed repeatedly, leaving me aghast.

"I'm so sorry about my child, Aurorean princess!" the mother cried out. "Please don't punish us!"

It was as if my chest had been hit with something heavy. It hurt to see that my father had left these people with long lasting impressions of trauma that they were not able to leave behind so easily. I felt a sense of remorse, even though I knew that none of this was my fault. "It's Y/N," I offered her a small, tight smile. "I am no longer a princess. Your child got lost and I was hoping we'd find you here."

Her mouth dropped open in disbelief and apprehension filled her expression. I can't say I blame her, but it never meant that none of this hurt. I bent down eye level to the now smiling child as she held onto her mother's dress. "Here, take it," I gave her a pink rose. "I really like this flower, can you keep it safe for me?"

The child happily accepted the rose and I bowed slightly to the mother before I walked off. "Good day, miss."

It was odd how one gesture set off everything. As I walked away, I couldn't help but hear the gasps of surprise and all the whispers I heard along the way.

"That's her, right? That prisoner princess?"

"I thought for sure she was going to punish everyone here!"

"Why is she not acting like her bastard father?"

That day set off something I never, ever expected when I first came here. One day, a group of people from the kitchen approached me and asked if I wanted to try and make food for the servants. "Of course," I smiled brightly. I could see the shocked expressions on their faces when I agreed. "Lead the way."

I had the best meal of my life in that kitchen, not because of the food, but because of the company I had. It was interesting, the crazy part was that I helped that child because I wanted to. It started a spiral of events, and soon enough, I was able to walk through the halls with less glares and most acceptance from the servants.

Joy filled my heart every night before I went to bed at the thought of me and most of the servants getting along. I learned their stories, apologized profusely on behalf of my father. I will never get used to their dumbfounded expression, but it was worth it if I gained a companion or two afterwards. It just intensified all the anger and hatred I had against my father. These were innocent people, he had no business killing for his own gain, torture people for more monetary gain. It was sick, and it made my stomach churn at the thought.

Suddenly,  in came the Head Knight. Everyone bowed and he did the same. "Y/N," he began. "The King requests for you."

This was another thing I never expected. "You're getting along with everyone pretty well," Mingi stated as we walked along the familiar halls of the palace. "I'm glad."

"I love the people," I said truthfully. "Everyone seems so full of life and full of love, regardless of what everyone has been through."

Mingi gave me a genuine smile. "Now you understand why Yunho is the way he is with this kingdom." He opened the door for me and ushered me to get in. "Thank you very much, Mingi. I will see you around."

"Sit down," Yunho ordered the moment the door was closed.

I did as told and he gave me a scroll and a quill to write with. I looked at him confused until he spoke up. "What's your writing proficiency?"

I hesitated, but he most likely knew the answer already. He just needed to hear it from me. "I can rival scholars, My King."

He hummed, satisfied. He handed me a couple of books. "These are both about Dune and Aurora," he explained. "Find common ground and write them so I can compare them with each other. Questions?"

"No," I shook my head. "Thank you for the opportunity, Sir..."

He didn't respond and I didn't know what to say anyway so I kept my mouth shut. I began reading and scribbling what I could, slower than I thought since I haven't done anything academic in over a year by now. We worked in silence, and it was much appreciated since there were some things I had to translate, but I tried my best to concentrate and put a lot of effort into every word I did.

He was a good and wise king, he did what was best for his people and it was what my father hated about him the most. It had become a habit for me the more Yunho had summoned me to do more writing.

"For what do I have a prisoner for if you're not going to do some actual work in here?" Yunho would always bite back whenever I always asked him why. He was an intelligent man, I'd come to figure out. He was very eloquent with his writing, very meticulous and well-versed. Not to mention that my heart would always skip a beat whenever I glanced at him while he wrote some more.

"Sorry to bother, Sir, but I don't know what this means," I frowned as I lifted up the manuscript.

"Let me see," Yunho beckoned me over with a wave of a hand. He took one look at it. "Those are symbols of an old language. You need another source to translate."

It had become a favourite activity of mine and I always looked forward to it everyday. There were no words between us, no mockery, no harsh words, and I wasn't a prisoner even for a minute. "This isn't right," I mumbled a little louder than I thought. I covered my mouth when I realized what I did, but it was too late. Yunho was already staring at me.

"What isn't?"

I blushed in embarrassment and the sudden attention. "Your Highness, I-I just translated something really awful in my point of view." He urged me to continue. "The suffering of the common people," I gulped. "A transliteration of how."

He stared at me for a moment. I couldn't read his expression so I wasn't sure if he was angry or not. "And what about it?"

"The monarchy is meant for the people, for the people. What would be their other purpose? I-I understand that they're there for order, but why are the people still suffering?"

Yunho stared at me with a demeanor I couldn't read, but then again, he was never an open book. Or at least, not yet. I held his eye contact, unblinking. He breaks it, nodding painfully slow. He sighed. "The rules aren’t run by us. This world was built on hate and has always been morally bankrupt," Yunho explained. "If it was the opposite, you wouldn't be here."

It was such a morbid point of view yet it was so realistic.  He hummed. "And you with the righteous mind. There were many before you, yet the natural evil that is human nature slowly takes over. What makes you so different?"

There was so much to admire about this man yet I don't know where to begin. His words were always this force that always made me want to listen to him - he was that compelling. The fact that he was aware of the vulnerability of the world was so compassionate, but I knew it was born from the suffering that was my father.

No other words need be spoken. I resumed working on whatever Yunho gave me, concentrating on the work because deep inside, I wanted to please him. I didn't let anything disturb me, not the taunts of some nobles coming in and out, not Seonghwa commenting in surprise on how pretty my handwriting was, and not even when I was told to stop. I gave Yunho the scroll I filled out so he could inspect it. My hands were aching by the time I was done, but it was absolutely worth it.

He stared at me intensely and I couldn't help but flush under his gaze. "Come here," he commanded softly.  I did as told. "Would you like to stop writing or do you wish to continue?" Yunho asked. His eyes said everything, he was waiting for me to say no.

"I would like to continue if it's okay, My King," I answered. Yunho nodded. His usual expression of disdain was nowhere to be seen and there was something in his eyes - tenderness. He sat up and lowered my body a little and I closed my eyes out of reflex, but mostly because I was scared I'd do something I'd regret if I looked at him.

"Good," Yunho I heard him say. And then, he kissed my forehead softly. Butterflies flipped my stomach upside down. I could hardly believe what was happening. I expected a lot from Jeong Yunho, but certainly not this. His lips lingered and I savoured the feeling. It was worth it. "T-Thank you, Sir," I stammered.

"Continue writing," Yunho pulled away as if nothing had happened. But I couldn't concentrate on anything after.

 I still felt his lips on my skin and the very thought of it jumbled my mind into a frenzy. It went on like that until late at night. I felt my body giving up and a small yawn escaped from my lips. My eyes kept closing in on me but I caught myself before they fully closed for the night. I could feel Yunho's eyes on me and I was concerned if he was going to say anything, but he kept on watching. I decided to let my head rest a bit and leaned on the table. It was a mistake, all the exhaustion came crawling onto me and sleep went in and out of my system. 

"Who's out there?" I heard Yunho's voice call out.

I heard the door creak open and close but the sleepiness had rendered my body weak. "Yun?" a voice answered back. I knew it was Seonghwa again. It was fascinating, everybody dropped the honorifics when they thought nobody was around to listen.

"Carry her to bed."

I felt myself being carried and I welcomed the warmth Seonghwa had provided me. He started walking, but Yunho's voice sounded again. "Not her bed, Hwa. Mine."

"Oh?" Seonghwa was confused, but he did as told anyway. He laid me down on the familiar bed and I automatically inhaled the scent the sheets had to offer me. "Good enough?"

"You may leave." 

There it was, the stony edge on his voice. It was what I was used to. But it was like the universe had other plans for both of us. I felt the bed dip and Yunho's voice would be the last thing I heard before I completely fell asleep. "I should have killed you a long time ago before you started messing with my head." 

It was, without a doubt, the most peaceful sleep I have ever had in my entire twenty-three years of living. When I woke up the next day, I felt myself being shaken awake. At first, I thought it was Yunho finally getting sick of my insolence and kicking me out but, instead, two familiar faces met my eyes.

"Yeosang?" I sat up so quickly that I started to get a migraine. "Hongjoong? What are you guys doing?"

I was about to rub the sleep off my eyes but I frowned when I realized that my hands were bandaged. I looked at Yeosang in affection. A thought suddenly passed me and I turned to Hongjoong. "Does this mean San is back if you're here?"

"Of course," Hongjoong smiled. He paused for a bit. "I told him not to come here. I...wanted to talk to you about something. I'll make it quick before my nephew comes back."

My brows rise in confusion and a bit of paranoia. "I-I'm just a prisoner, there's nothing I could help you with," I nervously said. "Do I know your nephew?"

Hongjoong and Yeosang look at each other. "You don't know?" Yeosang asked in disbelief. I shook my head, thoroughly confused now. I took a good look at Hongjoong and that sense of familiarity comes back to me. I realized that he looks slightly familiar, too.

"Your King is my nephew," Hongjoong began to explain. "The former king, Yunho and Jongho's father, was my eldest brother. We had different mothers, however. My father had me late because of his...peculiar hobbies."

My mind began to shut down, and perhaps it was the shock. Now I know who this man was and why he's so familiar. I quickly stood up from the bed and bowed low at Hongjoong repeatedly and in panic. "Forgive my insolence, Your Majesty of Wonderland! I am terribly---"

Hongjoong - or rather, the honourable ruler of Wonderland - chuckled and urged me to sit back down on the bed. "I'm not like that. Plus, I owe you something, do you recall?"

I nodded at him and then slightly shook my head, signaling that I do remember, but I refuse to talk about it right now. He seemed to take the hint and quickly changed the subject before Yeosang questioned us both. "Right, now that's settled," he cleared his throat. "I'll be straight with you, you don't belong here, so I'm going to get you out of here."

You could hear a pin drop with how silent the room had become. Did I hear him correctly? "I-I'm sorry?"

"Yeo, go watch out for that brat," Hongjoong cocks his head towards the door. Yeosang took the hint and left.

"Please tone it down," I yelped. "I-I don't want you to get punished..."

Hongjoong blinked at me before laughing. "Don't worry, Yunho won't do anything. He can try. Your concern is appreciated though."

I frowned, unconvinced. For the whole year I've been with Yunho, I could tell that he will retaliate if anybody crosses him. He is very patient yet he has a short fuse. His unpredictability scares me sometimes. "You've been here for a year?" he asked. I nodded. "Yet that air of royalty never left you. When I first saw you here, I thought you were visiting as a princess. Imagine my surprise when I was told you were a prisoner of war."

"I don't understand," I frowned.

"Being royalty doesn't stop at status," Hongjoong softly said. "It's the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you move. Your blood never lies."

He paused. "You need to go back to Aurora. You're the only hope we have at this point."

My eyes widened at what he was trying to tell me. "B-But doesn't Dune own Aurora?"

"Yes and no," he explained. "Thun about it, why hasn't Yunho transitioned Aurora over to Dune? Aurora is about half a day away by horse carriage, it's not that far. You know the man he is, Y/N. When he wants something done, it will happen no matter how long it takes."

Hongjoong hit the nail on the coffin. I've been thinking about this for a while now but I was too afraid to bring it up to anyone.

"But he will do it," I sighed. "I've been working with him for a while now, there's official paperwork that says so."

"Which is why you have to go before that happens," he convinced, and by God, he is very good at it. "Please, Y/N, you are the queen Aurora needs to finish this damn war---"

"How?" I couldn't help but raise my voice. "Yunho owns me, don't you see it?"

"It's what I don't see," Hongjoong raised a brow. "He doesn't fully own you. You have no slave marking on." 

I froze. I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean it that way and Yunho owns me in another sort of bind, but I keep my mouth shut. Of all the people in this world, I was the most aware of the slave collar. My father made everyone wear it. "Aren't you tired of this cycle, princess?" Hongjoong was getting agitated. "This imprisonment bullshit, it's a never ending cycle that won't stop until somebody steps up."

"But why me?" I exasperatedly question.

"Why not you?" Hongjoong retorted. "I am only one king, Y/N, and I cannot do this alone. I hate to bring this up, but the damage your father had inflicted, don't you want to stop it?"

I scoffed before I could stop myself. "Stop manipulating me."

Hongjoong smirked. "You see that sass and observation, Y/N? Imprisonment will never erase the royalty in you. All I want is simple, so as everyone who has suffered for so long," he practically begged. "You have my word that nobody will hurt you, all we want is for you to go back to Aurora and undo everything that's happened."

I narrowed my eyes on him. "We?"

A smirk threatens to spill from his lips but he covers it by clearing his throat. "Yes," he said. "There's people who want peace, and we're working towards it, but we need your cooperation."

I bit my lip, deep in thought. Well, that certainly changes things. "Do you have any idea what's going on with Aurora right now?" I asked, dreading the answer.

Hongjoong heaved a weighted sigh. "They need a permanent ruler," he whispered. "My people and yours have always worked in harmony. What your father did does not constitute Auroreans as a whole. They deserve peace too, you know that."

My heart sank. He didn't want to say it out loud, but he was basically saying that Aurora is currently in a state of disarray.  A trickle of shame drops onto my soul. I got so used to being here that I fully accepted the fate handed to me. What happened to the strong Y/N who swore to always fight for what was right? Hongjoong only stared at me as I went through all the stages of grief and hesitation. So, escape, take over Aurora as its rightful ruler, and make peace with Dune. Simple, right?

Wrong. Yunho would kill me first.

"C-Can I think about it, at least?" I looked up at Hongjoong. "This is a little too much for me to take in right now..."

He nodded. "Of course, this is too sudden. I'm so sorry for bringing all of this upon you, princess. I really am."

"How would I tell you?" I followed Hongjoong as he went to the door.

He put a hand on my shoulder and smiled. "You'll know how to eventually."

I stood by the door for a lot longer than I intended to when Hongjoong had already left. I wanted to tell him, I really did, but how was I supposed to tell him that my hesitation is from my unwillingness to actually leave? I've grown attached to the people here, but the most dreadful out of them all, my want to serve and please Yunho has been growing by the minute.

On the other hand, my people back home are waiting for me. They were the people I lived for even after my imprisonment. Hongjoong's point was impossible to ignore - this cycle between wars and this never ending hate against one another has to stop. Suddenly, the room was suffocating. I decided to step out and walk around for fresh air. It was something I did when I needed to think.

I should get an opinion, but I didn't know who to ask, though. I didn't want to bother Yeosang anymore, San would be okay but I bet he's tired from his journey, Seonghwa would raise a brow at my insolence and Wooyoung might behead me. Mingi's a no-go since he's always with Yunho.I sighed, it looks like I have to Yeosang or San one more time. As I walked further and further, I realized that I had mistakenly gone into the forest-y area. I'd never ventured this far and now I was upset that I was lost.

"Looking for something, princess?"

Warning bells went off my head. That wasn't a familiar voice. I turned around and saw a couple of unknown men that had gathered, and they were all glaring at me. "If the King won't kill you, we will," one of them spat. "How dare you show your face in here after everything we've been through?!"

My heart pounded at the danger I was in. I knew there would still be people who despised me, but it still hurt to hear.

"Get her!"

Before I could do anything, two men grabbed my arms and started to drag me out in the open. "W-Wait, unhand me!"

My breathing turned from heaving to full on hyperventilation. Before I could scream, a rag was put in my mouth to gag me and my screams afterwards were swallowed into nothing. My insides quivered in fear when I was pushed down harshly, though I tried not to get intimidated. I groaned when my hair was grabbed and tugged roughly. "I can't wait to carve your face," one of the men hissed directly on my face. "You look so much like your father, it pisses me off."

The fire in my soul died at that very instant. Was this truly the end for me?

"Get down on your knees to beg and maybe we won't hurt you," one of them propositioned. Everyone laughed out loud at that statement. It was at the moment that my resolve hardened - there was no way I was going to sell my dignity, or what's little of it, right here. When they realized that I wasn't going to move, all hell broke loose. "You fucking bitch, come here!"

My eyes widened when I saw a glint of something metallic in the air, but it was too late. The pain was out of this world, never in my life would I have imagined that the very first time I'd see a dagger up closer was when it was digging into my skin. "Help, please!" I screamed momentarily when I spit the gag out.

They were taking turns carving my body up, until I just became numb to it. They got angrier when my scream stopped. Even Yunho wasn't this cruel.

Suddenly, a figure showed up at the very far end of the clearing. It was Prince Jongho. His face paled and his expression was aghast. I knew from that far it was obvious what was happening. And then, he just left. I smiled bitterly despite the pain. I don't even blame him because my father killed his brother in front of him. His hatred for me knows now bounds.

"What the fuck are you savages doing?! Stop what you're doing!"

Everything stopped in that moment as I felt the light slowly slipping away from my world. No, I knew I wasn't dying, it was perhaps my body shutting down due to extreme pain and trauma. I looked up to see everyone staring at none other than Wooyoung, another person who hated me with extreme intensity. Had he actually stopped these people from hurting me? I didn't understand. He marched over but a voice stopped him from moving.

"You're supposed to be knights, you motherfuckers, stand down!" Mingi's deep, angry voice boomed all throughout the clearing. His furious strides quickly reached us. I have never seen him this angry and it terrified me.

"My Prince, what are you doing here?" I heard Wooyoung's soft voice 

"What do you think?" Jongho snapped. "I'm the one who called Mingi, I had to get Yunho too, fuck, he's going to get so pissed..."

So Jongho didn't leave after all. These three were the ones who hated me the most, and now they were here at my weakest moment. Mingi's angry voice was so loud that it attracted attention from other people. "You incredible fuckers, you know what I'm going to do to you all?!" he screamed. "Stick my fucking feet up your asses and walk around like you're flip-flops! Knights!"

A couple of other knights came in and detained the perpetrators aside. I tried to keep my eyes open and they were open enough for me to see what was going on. "Goddamn it," Wooyoung hissed as he helped me sit down. "I'll have to stay here and wait for Yunho."

Mingi stepped up and began to take me in his arms. "I'll take her out of here," he murmured. And then, he was carrying me. While everybody was distracted, I saw one of the men about to throw a dagger at me and Mingi's direction. A shot of adrenaline burst through me and I shouted, "Watch out!"

A look of panic crosses Mingi's face and he had no time to avoid it. But the knife didn't hit us. This was reminiscent of a theatre play with how things were turning up. Everybody pales and for a moment, everything goes silent. I was able to fully internalize everything. I realized I was bleeding profusely and so was Mingi and Wooyoung since they touched me, and that there was another presence.

Yunho heaved an irritated sigh as he stared at his bleeding hand, the one he used to catch the dagger. He turned to me, his face holding no expression. He hands me the dagger. “Kill them," he instructed. Everyone's breath hitched as they waited for my decision.

My mind was a whirlwind of overwhelming emotions. "I-I can't," I wheezed out.

Yunho raised a brow in amusement. "Justice isn't always merciful," he said. "They would kill you in a heartbeat."

I shook my head, the little movement making me dizzy. "That's n-not what I meant," I whispered hoarsely. "Y-You do it. Take the lead and reign over me, Yunho."

He nodded slowly. "Take them to the adjoining room of my office," he instructed Wooyoung. They share a knowing look and Wooyoung walks away. Yunho turned back to Mingi. “My chambers."

I closed my eyes and let myself lay limp in Mingi's arms. Every move hurt no matter how careful he was, but I dare not complain. It certainly caught the attention of some people and I could hear gasps and barely contained anger at my condition. By this, I could hear Yeosang panicking and running off to get his medicinal supply ready. I cracked my eyes open for a little and was not surprised by the amount of people already staring at us. I was just in time to see familiar faces, too.

"What the hell is all this commotion?" Seonghwa was aggravated when he went to the front. He took one good look at me and the blood from his face drained. "Oh, God..."

I was so embarrassed to be seen this way - weak, vulnerable, and helpless. When we entered the chambers, Hongjoong was there waiting. He looked like he was about to say something to Yunho and then he saw me being laid down on the bed. "What happened?" he asked. I don't care who filled him in and he sighed in understanding when he was fully informed.

"Alright everybody, get out unless you're going to volunteer to help out," Yeosang announced before sitting on the side of the bed.

"What do you want me to do?" Seonghwa rolled his sleeves up and sat down next to Yeosang as Hongjoong left to go to the room next to Yunho's office. I was so surprised, he had always been impartial towards me. And speaking of Yunho, he was just leaning by the door, silently watching as his eyes took everything that was happening. I was fine with that, I didn't need to hear him scolding me. Or was I afraid of his disappointment?

"Okay, so it seems that the damages were done mostly to her arms," Yeosang murmured. "Hold them up so I can clean them up."

Seonghwa does as told. I bit my lip harshly as tears fell from my eyes at the sting from the herbs being used to disinfect my wounds.

"Wait a minute," Mingi suddenly murmured, his brows scrunching up as he looked closer at my arm. "There's a pattern, letters---oh my god."

"What?" Seonghwa takes a look and his mouth hangs. It's rare for him to lose composure. He turns around to look behind him. "Yunho..."

Yunho stared at my arm for a solid minute before he turned around and went into the room where Hongjoong was, but he left the door ajar a bit. Loud voices can be heard from the inside. My heart lurched to my throat. I pulled my arm to try and see, but Seonghwa gently grabbed my chin and tilted it up while he shook his head. "Don't look," he said softly. "For your own sake."

"I-It's bad, isn't it?" I croaked.

Yeosang held my hand and squeezed it. "By the time we're done, it will be gone, okay? I have methods to heal without leaving scars, don't you worry."

"You son of a bitch, what makes us different?!"

We all stared at the direction of all the arguments that were slowly becoming louder and louder. It was Hongjoong, and he was furious.

"B-But, her father was a monster---"

"Save it."

The hard edge on that voice surprised me, for this person has nothing but sweet and accommodating to me. It was San.

"I feel bad for those assholes," Yeosang laughed sarcastically to lift my mood up. "San is a little more unforgiving when angry." 

"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!" Hongjoong hissed. "She's the last person you should've done this too, I am extremely disappointed with all of you!" My breath hitched, I sighed, bracing for what's next because I know exactly what he's going to say.

"During captivity, that princess you hate? She would feed everybody, teach everyone to survive after escape, cover for anyone so they wouldn't be punished. She was going against her father!"

Seonghwa, Yeosang, and Mingi all whipped their heads towards me. I closed my eyes to avoid them.

"You know what else?" Hongjoong chuckled darkly. "She gambled her life to help me escape when I was captured without knowing who I was. Hell, she didn't even remember who I was when she first saw me here.".

"But it doesn't erase anything that happened before, oh forgive our insolence, Your Majesty!"

Another round of arguments could be heard and Yeosang finally wrapped my arms, but not before I saw what they had carved on my skin - disgrace.

"That's enough."

There it was, the voice that always made me want to drop on my knees. There was a tense silence. "I killed the Aurorean King so we could be at peace," Yunho started. "I understand why you did it, but she is mine, and mine alone.”

I was startled and jumped a bit when the door opened to reveal Yunho. We made eye contact before he spoke. "It brings me deep sadness that all of you resorted to this brutality," he spoke, the weight of his words heavy. "We've all been through so much, but the day I see the monster the Aurorean King was in any of you, is the day I let all of you go. All of you, get out."

He turned to this room and spoke to no one in particular. "All of you as well, out."

And then it was just me and Yunho in the room, staring at each other intently. "M-My King," I whimpered at his sharp gaze. He raised a brow. "You had no problem calling me by name earlier," he made his way towards the bed. "Don't do it again."

I vaguely remember doing it and I had no idea why I even did it. His air of authority blanketed me as he got closer and closer until he was sitting on the bed. He didn't say anything for a while. "Never forget who you are," he said curtly and firmly. "The world will try you, it will grind you down until you are no more."

I stared at him and saw him in a different light for the first time. He wasn't a royalty, a king, and my captor - he was just Jeong Yunho. Tears started to collect in my eyes. I tried to turn away but Yunho grabbed my chin and tilted it to his face. "The scars will fade," he murmured. "Mine did."

Yunho pulled me onto his body and wrapped an arm around me. Something broke in me and it covered the shock I felt, I just burst right there and then. His other hand patted my back as sobs racked my entire body. It hurt, everything hurt. I've always imagined what it would be like to be in his arms. It was unfortunate that it had to be this way, but it didn't stop me from clutching his shirt and crying miserably. "You're very cold," I muttered in between tears. 

"Am I cold or maybe you just don't deserve my warmth?"

"Forgive my i-insolence, Your Majesty."

"Sometimes, when people don't get what they want, they can’t stand the thought of limitations," Yunho sighed.

After a while, I recovered. I spent a lot of my time either in my room to be alone or Yunho's. He would give me a book to read so I could pass the time and it confused my heart so much. But after that, I haven't seen him much. His workload caught up with him and lately, I've been all alone either organizing what he asked me to or simply just basking in the gardens where all the servants spent time with me.

It made me happy that everyone had become warm towards me and was even angry at the knights that had hurt me, but I couldn't help but miss the time I spent with Yunho, even if all he did was glare or snarl at me. Right now, I was at Yeosang's clinic so could check up on me.

"Thank you, Sangie, you're always there for me," I smiled gratefully at him.

He stares at me a bit confused. "Uhm, yeah, no problem, but I'm not the one you should thank the most," he frowned. "Yunho would have beheaded me."

"W-What do you mean?" I asked, my heart beating uncontrollably hard.

"He was the one that kept sending me to you whenever you were injured," he shrugged. "You didn't know?"

My heart palpitated and my stomach did somersaults. Does this mean that he's not going to kill me anymore? "By the way," Yeosang interrupted my darkening thoughts. He dug through his arsenal and brought out an envelope. "This is about your escape."

I sat up straighter in attention. "From Hongjoong?"

Yeosang shook his head. "No, from our head."

"Head?" I titled my head in curiosity. "What does that mean?"

"It means that we take orders from someone higher than us," Yeosang chuckled. "Someone wants you out of here more than us. Now, run along. I have to tend to the King."

I froze and I felt my throat tighten up again. "W-Why? Is anything wrong with him?" Yeosang blinked at me and grimaced. Something tells me that I wasn't supposed to know, and that he assumed I knew. "Kang Yeosang..."

When he still didn't say a word, I bolted out of the room like my life depended on it. I didn't even turn back once. I didn't let it worry me though. The King was an abnormally strong person, so I'm sure he'll be fine. I went to his chambers and unsurprisingly, he wasn't there. I knew he wasn't avoiding me, he didn't care enough for me to do so. I went to my chambers and left the letter in there for now. Suddenly, I heard the familiar sound of the doors opening and closing. Yunho.

I was surprised to see him enter, but I was quickly taken aback by how pale he looked. I tried to stop the fluttering feeling in my stomach at the sight of him because it was the first time I've ever seen him look even remotely sick. When I observed him closer, his breathing was laboured and she seemed to be in great pain. I looked at his bandaged arm and it hit me - his hand was wounded when he caught that dagger!

I completely forgot about that and not once had he got it treated the whole time I was recovering and knowing him, he would never ask for help. My body started moving on its own and I quickly rushed to him and held his arm. I almost pulled away, his skin was burning hot. He was surprised to see me. He stiffened and pulled away from me harshly, glaring at me angrily. "What the hell are you doing?" he snarled. "Just because I haven't punished you in a while doesn't mean I won't hesitate to do it again."

"I-I'm so sorry, My King," I apologized instantly. 

He didn't say anything and proceeded to sit down on his bed. It was then I realized how sick he was and he was probably burning up with fever. This might be my death sentence but I pushed forward again and held his wounded hand in mine. I frowned, it was definitely infected. "Y/N," he gritted. His tone held a lot of anger.

"Please let me help you," I begged.

"Do you want to die?" he growled through gritted teeth.

I gulped in anxiety. "You can kill me after," I whispered. "Let me help, please..."

He stared at me, unblinking, his eyes penetrating parts of me I had no idea existed before. It made me uncomfortable, but I never broke eye contact to show my sincerity. "One wrong move," he seethed, his voice dropping an octave lower. "I will kill you on the spot."

I smiled brightly before I could stop myself. I quickly stood up and bowed repeatedly. "Oh, I won't let you down!" I gasped. "Please lie down, I will fetch some cloth and water for you."

I was happier than I was supposed to be and quickly got to work before Yunho changed his mind. I got slightly cold water and some cloth and went back, but when I did, I was surprised to see that Yunho had fallen asleep on his bed. I quietly approached him and set down the water and cloth to the side and stared at him. I had never seen him asleep before. Whenever we slept on the bed, he was always up before me. He was hauntingly beautiful, something I know I can never have.

I dipped the cloth in the cold water and proceeded to dab it gently on his forehead and all over his exposed skin so he could cool off. When I reached his face, I was careful not to wake him. This was the only opportunity he had to rest and I don't want to disturb him. I went on like that for hours, going back and forth in the bathroom to refill the water so it doesn't go too warm. But it was no use. He was still burning up. Without hesitation, I undid the buttons on his shirt and dabbed it gently with the cloth as well. He would probably punish me for this when he awoke, but I could care less.

My heart dropped when I stared at his bare chest. The branding scar was there, but besides the few battle scars on him, his skin was otherwise smooth and toned. I set it aside for now, and focused on making him feel better, even though I knew that he wasn't awake to feel it for now. I leaned down to give the scar a small kiss and set my head down on his chest, just feeling his skin with mine. His heart had a steady rhythm, and tears fell slowly down my eyes and onto his chest.

I love him, I had fallen for him, and it hurt so much. I don't know how it happened or when it even started, but my heart held him in it and the realization made my heart shatter into a million pieces. Yunho wasn't someone I should have had feelings for. He captured me, imprisoned me, and hurt me before, but why do I even feel like this? It would never end well for me, and I knew he would break my heart. He was the king, and he harboured hatred for my father so intense that even my life wasn't enough to pay for it.

I jolted away and wiped my tears quickly when I heard Yunho groan and then he moved ever so slightly.  He sat down and stared at me. Then, he looked down at his open shirt and quickly buttoned them up. He looked back at me and sighed. "What is it about you, Y/N?"

I stared at him, blinking repeatedly. "Whatever do you mean, My King?"

He crossed his arms. "I can't figure out if your demon father raised an angel, or if he raised a demon pretending to be an angel?"

The question surprised me and I looked away. "Y-You're awake, Your Grace..."

He smirked at my obvious attempt to change the topic. "Yes. Why? You want me dead?"

My eyes widened at the implication and I shook my head adamantly. "No! I-I don't!"

He shrugged and leaned back. "I'm surprised you didn't strike," he smirked. "Your cowardly father had a habit of killing people in their sleep."

"I won't ever hurt you, Sire."

Then silence, except for the loud beating of my heart - the heart that beat only for him. Yunho stared at me, and stared hard. I was nervous, is he going to punish me for touching him? "Come here," he said softly.

One second I was sitting on the edge of the end, and the next, I was in Yunho's arms, his body caging me in his warmth. I closed my eyes, everything felt so right at this moment. I couldn't even be surprised.  I was so happy, but did the happiness outweigh the pain? My faith was walking on broken glass.

A surge of courage came over me and I buried my face on his chest. It didn't matter right now, or if he changed his mind, but right now, all I cared about was this moment between us. It was something I would never get to experience anymore because he won't be, hopefully, sick again for the longest time after this. Good moments were hard to come by as a prisoner, so I will imprint this memory in my heart.

"For the longest time now, I've had this question that's boggling my head," he whispered. "Who do you take after, if not your father?"

"I-I'm not too sure," I answered truthfully.

I looked up at him and he was already looking at me with those beautiful, but clouded eyes. "How are your arms?"

I was a bit surprised he even asked. "They're getting better, they don't hurt as much as they did a couple of weeks ago."

He nodded but didn't say anything else. "Would you like to sleep?" I asked him apprehensively.

"I just woke up," he raised an annoyed brow at me. "I don't like to sleep, it's when my thoughts haunt me the most."  

I wouldn't be surprised. For all the things my father did, I would be surprised if nobody had nightmares. Even the king had some. It made my heart bleed once more. "Those years were the hardest times of everybody's lives," Yunho began to speak, his fingers lazily tracing my arms as he stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.

I didn't even realize that I was holding my breath. This was the first time he'd ever talked to me like this and it felt so good that he was confiding in me. "As a kingdom, we were always trained and prepared for any sort of attack, you should know this. It was difficult when you're powerless against a tyrant, though."

He gave a side eyed glance and I averted my eyes in shame even though it was not my fault. "But no one was prepared for the aftermath. Nobody knew where to begin and how to move on," he recalled softly, unadulterated pain flashing in his eyes. "There was no way to relax, everyone was paranoid that an attack would happen again."

Tears filled my eyes. I felt every pain that he went through even though I had no idea how extensive they were. Is this what it was like to love someone? It was such a curse. "Everyone has changed so much," he sighed deeply. "San used to be bubbly and a generally happy person. Wooyoung used to be mischievous, he was borderline annoying, but everyone loved him for it."

It was difficult to picture both of them in a different manner and it made me even sadder. "Yeosang had this child-like innocence to him that I can never, ever get back. It was hard to accept at first. Seonghwa had always been the way he is, but he was always smiling. Now it's gone."

"And Mingi," he continued. "He was always my biggest regret. He was just a boy. He used to take my punishments for me. He's become so much like me that I regret ever meeting him."

It began to shed light on why the Head Knight had hated me so much back then. My closest maid, Ilri, and I met when we were twelve years old. Yunho and Mingi most likely met that age as well. "The last two went further and further away from me," Yunho chuckled bitterly. "My brother and I used to be close. I don't even recognize Jongho anymore, and same with my uncle. Captivity changed Hongjoong."

He turned to look at me. "Do you know why I'm telling you all of this?"

"No," I answered with a slight shake of my head.

"Do not betray me, Y/N. I'm letting you in a little, don't prove me wrong by stabbing me in the back."

That sharp edge in my gut strengthened, the one that I thought would dull if time passed enough, and it was then I realized that I cannot leave this man. "Would you like to take your belongings in your chambers and move them in here," Yunho asked, though it was more of a statement rather than one.

My eyes widened and I stared at him. "I-Is that okay, Your Highness?"

"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't," he rolled his eyes. "Run along. Do some chores and I'll ask someone to do it."

"Thank you, My King," I bowed to him when I got up from the bed.  Everything was too good to be true, that was something I made myself believe as I walked around, lost in thought. My heart hurt from the dilemma. I want to stay with Yunho, even though the best I'll be is to watch from the sides, but at the same time, my people need me - the people of Dune, Wonderland, and the other nations need me.

But even if I did choose to come with Hongjoong, how was I going to start over again? I know nothing about ruling a kingdom, let alone make peace with another kingdom that my own screwed and captured. Tears started falling from my eyes, I have never felt so helpless. Do I choose my happiness or choose the destiny I was always meant to follow?

"Y/N? Are you okay---wait, are you crying?"

The smile from Seonghwa's face disappeared and was replaced with concern. Ever since that day, he's always been very concerned about me.  "Did he do anything to you?" he helped me get inside his office. 

I shook my head and wiped the tears of my eyes. Of all the people who had to catch me in my feelings, it was Seonghwa. It was so embarrassing for me. "No, but I am very doomed, I am afraid."

He let out a deep sigh. "No offense, but what's worse than Yunho, himself?" Seonghwa deadpanned. 

I laughed a bit in between my tears. He and Hongjoong were the only ones who could get away with this. "I'm in love with the King," I blurted out before I backed out. At first, it didn't hit him, but when it did, Seonghwa's eyes widened and he reeled back a little. He was probably expecting something bad, but surely not that one. I wasn't the type to cry. Even he knew I was doomed.

"It's not the end of the world, Y/N, it's okay," he awkwardly tried to cheer me up.

"Yes, but he will end me if he finds out," I frowned deeply. "I'm just a prisoner, and he absolutely abhors my father, and I fell for him anyway! He'll kill me if he finds out."

He handed me a glass of water, which I greedily gulped down. "This isn't the best advice, but in my opinion, the best thing you could possibly do is to set it aside for now."

"Have you ever fallen in love before?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

"Of course," he nodded. "Everybody has at some point, everybody has fallen out of love before, and everybody has been hurt before. It's human nature, Y/N."

I gave him a questioning look and he hesitated. "They're dead," Seonghwa smiled bitterly. "Childbirth complications."

I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. "I-I'm so sorry about that..."

"I couldn't fully hate you, even though I should," he chuckled, shaking his head. "You remind me of my love so, so much."

In the end, I wasn't able to do any sort of chores because Seonghwa refused to let me out with my tear stained face. Suddenly, our peace was broken by a frantic knock on the door. "What's wrong?" Seonghwa asked the knocker, Mingi.

He pushed inside and quickly went to me. "You need to go to Yunho," he panted, his tone gravely. "And you need to go now."

"Hold on," I frowned, my heart thundering against my ribcage. "Why--"

He grabbed my arm and started to pull me. "I have no time to explain, please---"

"Song Mingi, calm down," Seonghwa was irritated. "What is going on?"

"Yunho is going berserk," Mingi growled. Me and Seonghwa looked at each other in surprise. "One minute, he ordered me and Wooyoung to move your stuff, and the next he's a screaming monster set to destroy everything, please you have to go."

A burning pain takes over my entire body and a chill passes over me instantaneously. The world stopped spinning because I had an idea why Yunho was furious. I ran as quickly as I could to Yunho, with Seonghwa and Mingi following,  like I was chasing the very last airs of my breath and he was the only one who had it. I prayed as my feet hit the pavement that it wasn't what I thought it was. Destruction met the three of us the moment we entered the room. The furniture was disarray, papers were scattered all over the floor, and an angry King awaited us. When he set his eyes on me, I recoiled from how dark it was.

He took big strides towards me and raised his hand. "Wait, please, do not do it!" Seonghwa screamed while protectively putting me behind him.  Yunho threw a piece of paper harshly against our direction and Seonghwa picked it up. Tears started to prick my eyes. I knew it - Yunho had read the letter. I haven't even had the chance to read it.

"Explain," Yunho snapped, his voice tense. He was disheveled, his hair was not fixed for once like he ran his hands over and over again on it and his face was mad with rage. "Explain to me right now or so God help me I will hurt you."

Seonghwa snapped his head at me after he read the letter, his expression of disappointment. "Y/N?" he asked, not wanting to believe anything. "What is this?"

"I can explain---"

"Mingi, call everyone," Yunho snarled. "I need to know who else was planning the great escape of my prisoner."

Mingi was shocked, but he moved nonetheless. "And you," Yunho pointed at me, his voice sounding low and deadly. It sent chills down my spine. "Explain."

I flinched and a tense silence followed. I didn't know what to say. I stared at Yunho, pleading with my eyes, but it was no use. "Say something!" Yunho screamed, banging his hand loudly on his wooden table. Soft cries and whimpers left my mouth. The sight of Yunho broke something inside me. He looked so defeated, so hurt, like a man who had just lost war within himself - like a man betrayed by someone he believed in.

He wasn't just hurt, he was shattered, and it was my fault.

"I-I didn't mean to hurt you, please, I can explain, I really didn't mean to," I begged pathetically for him.

"Then you should have never been born!" Yunho roared loudly, angrily swiping the paperwork in front of him flying, the sheets gradually falling down one by one towards the floor with a swoosh. It was very unnerving. That was the first time I'd ever heard Yunho raise his voice. His eyes were dilated in wild and sheer rage, unleashed without thoughts nor consequences. I will never forget those eyes.

"Let me go!" I shrieked, tripping on my feet when I tried to protest against him, but that only resulted in Yunho dragging me faster and even rougher than before.  Suddenly, more footsteps came into the room and more protests resounded.

"Yunho, please, Yunho," I heard the familiar voice of Hongjoong sound. "Stop it, you're hurting her, Yunho!"

My insides contracted and I was left with a heart that exploded in my chest, clammy skin and hyperventilating as I was thrown on the floor. "Shut the fuck up," Yunho snapped, he charged at Hongjoong and gave him a strong punch in the gut. Hongjoong recoiled and coughed out. "You were going to take her away from me?"

If it wasn't for the situation, I would have spent all day thinking about that statement. 

"Are you okay?" San's gentle hands helped me up and I leaned helplessly at him while Hongjoong explained to Yunho over and over again why my escape would be beneficial for Dune and everybody. "No," I sobbed loudly. "My heart hurts..."

He looked at me worried. "I will take you to Yeosang---"

"No, not like that. My heart hurts."

San's expression was forlorn when he realized what I was trying to say. "You gave him your heart."

I nodded, but I couldn't even finish my sentence because when I looked back, Yunho was in the process of charging towards Hongjoong. My body moved instinctively and I rushed to him, stopping him by hugging his waist. I yelped when he pushed me harshly. "You whore," he hissed. He pushed me down on my knees so I was kneeling on the floor. "I give you a little bit of kindness and you do this to me? How long have you been planning to stab me in the back?"

I shook my head. "I wasn't going to!"

He scoffed and pulled my hair. He got onto my face directly. "You expect me to believe that? Yunho snarled. "I should have killed you a long, long time ago. I should have branded you and let those dogs carve you up some more."

Something broke inside me, and a fire that was dormant in me sparked awake. I was angry, I had no right to, but I was.  "How can you say that?" I growled back. "You're no different from my father if you wish other people to be hurt like you did!"

A moment of pain flashed in Yunho's eyes, but he blinked it away. I shouldn't have said that, but what else can I do?  "My only mistake was that I wasn't not be able to cope with your rage, I have always done my best for you," I swallowed thickly, fat tears rolling down my eyes in pain. "If you're going to kill me, then just get it over with."

Is this what Seonghwa meant when he said that love hurts? And speaking of which, Seonghwa, Mingi, Hongjoong, and San were just behind us, just watching, not being able to do anything but just watch the scenes unfold. "Beg me," Yunho pulled my hair harder. "I don't know what I'll do if I don't like what I hear, I swear to God, Y/N."

I shook my head defiantly. "You can bring your army on me, but I won't beg."

Seonghwa was giving me pleading gestures, to just give in, but I won't. I looked Yunho square in the eye and continued. "Is there a part of you that dislikes seeing me happy when you are miserable? "

Yunho smirked darkly. "I never liked you enough to feel that way, slave."

Something died inside me there and then. There was no use, Yunho had always been empty except for when he had the urge to assert his dominance on me. He grabbed my hair and he began to drag me roughly, but everyone tried to stop him from hurting me further. "Get away from me!" Yunho yelled.

"You're making a grave mistake, Yun, please," Mingi pleaded with him by trying to grab me back, but Yunho just pulled me. He pushed me against the wall and I hit my head. The thump was loud and it caught everyone off guard. But not Yunho. He grabbed my head again and for a moment, it looked like he was going to slam it on the wall hard, but his eyes held so much hurt.

"I should," he whispered. "I really should."

"Yunho, stop it," Wooyoung suddenly interjected. I hadn't even realized he was here. "Send her somewhere, but don't do it, you're not like that."

"Her father---"

"Might have been a beast, but she did not choose her father."

My mouth hung open at Wooyoung's sudden statement. He still has that disdain in his eyes when he sees me, but it wasn't as strong as it was when I first came more than a year ago. They now held a bit of pity in them. Yunho scoffed loudly. "You were in on it," he was sarcastic. "The escape."

Everyone, including me, looked at him in surprise. "Yes and no," he sighed. "Yeosang talked to me, but I said no, but looking at you right now, this seems to be the correct decision."

"Who put you up to this?" Yunho asked, betrayed. "No offense, but none of you are smart enough to plan this." He went up to my ear and harshly whispered. "You're not leaving me. I refuse---"

"You wear a crown, but you're not my king," I said, trying to push him off. "You won't ever hear me scream!"

Yunho's eyes ticked in extreme anger and fury. "I don't want your screams," Yunho growled menacingly. "I want you."

He let me go, not only my body, but he looked like he was letting me go completely. Yunho looked worn out, he looked devastated.  We all watched as Yunho tried to get a hold of himself, his eyes crestfallen with every move. We all held our breath when he grabbed his sword and swung it without energy. But he dropped it again. 

"Go," he whispered. He looked so devastated and all the fight left his body. "I want you gone before the sun rises."

He stared at Hongjoong. "You take her wherever the fuck you want, but I will punish you and your accomplices myself when you come back, clear?"

Hongjoong nodded. "Clear."

"Go before I change my mind," Yunho spoke to me. "I never want to see you again."

"Come along," Mingi coaxed me out of there. I was in a robotic state by the time everything was over, like my soul was separated from my body and I was looking at myself from another perspective. Mingi guided me out along with an injured Hongjoong while the rest stayed behind. While I was leaving the room, I stopped by the door and looked back, and Yunho was already looking back at me. He was expressionless, but his eyes were red and a single tear fell from his eye. Mingi pulled me back as the door closed.

"To Jongho's," Hongjoong hissed in pain as we walked. "Hurry."

When we got there, Jongho approached us with a worried look in his eyes. "I hear about what happened," he frowned. "I'll handle it. You have to go."

Hongjoong nodded, but I was confused. "Who's going to go with her?" Jongho continued, summoning a carriage.

"I'll do it, Hongjoong can't," Mingi sighed. "Just cover for me."

Jongho nodded and we were about to go into the carriage, but I halted. "Wait, what's going on?" I asked.

Hongjoong gestured to Jongho. "It's his plan." As if nothing could shock me anymore. I turned to look at the Second Prince. "I don't understand," I shook my head. "You dislike me and you have no benefit for this."

"I don't hate you per se," he shrugged. "My mind isn't clouded enough to blame you for the atrocities your father did. I just had to keep that act for a while so Yunho wouldn't suspect anything."

"But why?"

Jongho hesitated. "This has to stop," he whispered. "I didn't want Jiho to die in vain, I just want to live in peace. Don't you?" Jeong Jiho was the Third Prince. I nodded. Of course I did. "Okay then," Jongho urged Mingi and I to go in the carriage. "Go fix Aurora, I don't say this often, but please. You either do it, or you die trying."

"Thank you so much," I cried to him. "I won't let you down."

And then we set off to the horizon. I haven't been out in a year and I couldn't help but tear up while I stared outside as the carriage slowly took us to our destination. "What about you?" I asked Mingi, who was seated in front of me. "How do you feel about all of this?"

"As a knight or as Mingi?" he asked.

"As Mingi."

He sighed and looked outside as well. "I felt very angry for the longest time," he admitted. "It was so unfair, I've struggled to do exactly as I was told yet nothing has changed. At this point, I don't care what happens. I just want order and if you're the key, then so be it."

We set on to a comfortable silence along with our thoughts. I kept asking people because I was still in doubt. Hongjoong had managed to get me out like planned, I just wish Yunho wasn't there to see it.

My heart was breaking into a million pieces and it felt like my insides were dying. His face when I left was breaking me little by little on the inside. Doubt will always be with me, what if I was wrong? Was the pain that came with it, the brutal suffering of my soul, necessary? There was no other way to learn what I have learned.  Everything slowly hit me all at once, because earlier I ran on adrenaline, but now that I was confined to my own thoughts, everything hurt. Tears sprang to my eyes and I kept wiping them in respect to Mingi. Of course, he noticed and sighed.

"Just let it out, I don't mind," he coaxed me gently. "It must hurt a lot."

"You knew?" I sniffled.

For the first time in a while, he gave me a friendly smile. "I've known from the start. Only a fool wouldn't notice."

"How?"

"It's not my story to tell," Mingi hesitated. "Can I say something?"

"Of course," I nodded. "You're my friend, Mingi."

He was shocked, but then his body visibly relaxed. Instead of my chaperone, now he looked like a true companion of mine. "You glowed differently when you were with him," he smiled. "That's how I knew."

There was a time where I thought I would be with Yunho for as long as I lived, both as his prisoner and as someone who truly loved him, but now I don't know what life will throw me. I was about to go back home and live out the destiny that I was given for the second time in my life. I can't be with Yunho. I have to set out what I have to do. Even if this didn't happen, I would have left on my own accord. One day, I'll be able to look at myself in the mirror and I get to say that I've done it - that I've set things straight.

This was the life of a princess. Love is something foreign to us, most of us never get to experience it because our duties to our kingdom will always come first. Being a princess was such a bittersweet destiny. Aurora wasn't far and before I knew it, the familiar gates of my kingdom appeared before me and sooner enough, we were passing through it. I didn't know what to feel, this place used to be my home, but now after a year, I don't even know how I will live here again. Much less rule like everyone wants me to do.

"State your name, kingdom, and purpose of your visit to Aurora," a guard stopped our carriage. My heart beat fast, these were the guards that reluctantly let me go with Dune a year ago. They tried hard, Yunho was just too strong. I let the window of the carriage down and peeked my head out and all of the faces of the guards paled.

"Oh my Lord," they said. "Princess!"

They started tearing up and bowing lowly to me over and over again. "Oh, the Heavens have answered us! Our princess is back!"

I smiled, tears filling my eyes. "Rise," I commanded softly. "I am but your forsaken princess." It was emotional for me. They continued crying and some of them went to town to announce my arrival while they opened the gates to let the carriage in.

"Your people love you," Mingi stated in awe as he observed me waving to the townspeople crying in joy and rejoicing at my return.

"And I love them too," I answered. "These people are good people. The only mistake they had was being born under my father's rule. But I will set things straight."

Mingi beamed at me. "It's like you were never imprisoned. It's fascinating."

I decided to go to the back door of the castle because I did not want to be overwhelmed with people about my arrival. Mingi was behind me and admired the architecture. It was very different from Dune. It was such an odd feeling to be back from my own room. I had gotten used to sleeping at Yunho's. I found myself slightly resenting my room, it didn't smell like Yunho, it didn't have his library, it didn't have his scrolls, and it didn't have him. A voice screamed from behind us and Mingi was about to strike but I stopped him. 

"Oh, my princess!" my beloved maid, Ilri screamed and ran to me for a hug. She started bawling loudly on my shoulders and I couldn't help but chuckle.  When we caught up, I decided to show myself to everybody. If I was going to be queen, this was something I had to get used to.  It was uncomfortable at first. I got so used to being a prisoner, and all of a sudden, these people looked up to me like the royalty that I used to be. It was something that deeply saddened me, I will miss the time when everyone talked to me freely back in Dune.

Most of all, I have to get used to not being in Dune anymore. I can't live there anymore and I absolutely can't dwell on the things that will slowly become memories to me.

SEVEN YEARS LATER

It took a while, but I was able to stretch my full potential and discover what I was capable of, both as a woman and as the Queen. 

"Hear 'ye, hear 'ye!" the Judge pounded his gavel down the little wooden square.

We were in court and it was the most nervous I've ever been, more nervous than when I was back in imprisonment. Right now, I am waiting for a verdict that can potentially change the outlook of not just my life, but every person alive on this Earth. "The council has spoken," the old Judge cut through the silence. "I, hereby, announce the abolishment of all hard labour during war imprisonment. Prisoners of war shall not be captured again and those who are imprisoning people shall let their prisoners go as soon as possible."

Cheers resounded through the whole court and even the Judge and counsel couldn't help but rejoice. I couldn't fully be happy, it was such a bittersweet moment for me. "My Queen, you did it!" Ilri smiled as we walked out of the court. "Oh, you were amazing back there!"

I held her hand in mine. "Was I?" I grinned. "Please tell me I am not dreaming, my dear friend."

"You aren't, my Queen," Ilri giggled. She put her head up and inhaled the fresh air deeply. "What a wonderful day today, my Queen. Like the Heavens are celebrating us with sunshine."

"You are my sunshine," I smiled. "Would you like to go out with all the other servants today as a celebration?"

Ilri screamed and jumped up and down. "Yes, yes! I would love to!"

I smiled. I was glad that everybody around me was happier than they ever could. The process was grueling, I had to delude myself most of the time that everything was okay and I was doing everything within my rights to be correct, but it seems like I lied to myself too much. I sent everybody in the palace to celebrate in the town, except for a few that would rather stay, and I was all alone in my office. Looking out my window was my happiness, for all my subjects were happy.

But my true happiness stopped seven years ago. I never forgot Yunho. He haunted my dreams at night and when I was awake, he was all I could see everywhere. It wasn't the way to live, but in a way, my desperation to see him again had kept me alive all these years.

I'd become like him over the years, something I regret. I understood why he barely slept, I understood why he was always moody all the time, and I understood why he was the way he was overall.  I did it, I wanted to go back and tell everybody who helped me escape back then that they didn't make a mistake in putting their faith in me, because I did it. Sometimes, I wonder what they saw in me - I was just a prisoner - but they saw something in me and to this day, I still want to know.

The celebrations lasted a week and Aurora was flourishing more than ever. It hurt me, but I had to remove every trace of my father - his name, his legacy, even the smallest pamphlets with this name on it. He was still my father and in his sick way, he did love me, but it was the only way to move forward.

"My Queen, can you lend me some of your time right now?" Minghao, my good advisor, knocked on my door after everything went back to normal.

I thought about it, I knew what he was here for, but I gave in. I put away my scrolls and stopped writing for now. "Come in," I sighed.

He came in along with my other advisor, Soonyoung. I groaned internally, but I composed myself. "Honourable Queen," they both bowed.

"To what do I owe not one of my advisors, but two of them?" I deadpanned.

"Ah," Soonyoung chuckled nervously. "You know, the court has been done, maybe we could talk about...you know."

I raised an expectant brow, but on the inside, I was laughing. It was bad, but sometimes it was just nice to mess with them. Minghao cleared his throat. "Should we set the formal celebrations this week, Your Grace? The other kingdoms that worked with the abolishment of the prisoners' capture would like to visit and pay their respects."

I nodded. It was certainly a good idea. After all, the credit wasn't all mine. "Splendid, would the end of the week be sufficient for preparation?"

"We shall try, Your Majesty," Soonyoung nodded his head. 

"Alright," I agreed. "Let's do it at the Diamond Hall. It's big enough to accommodate everyone, yes?"

"Yes," Minghao shifted uncomfortably. "And maybe you can pick out potential suitors..."

There it was. I've been hounded about having a King by my side, and I could tell them off, but how was I supposed to tell them that I was not planning to love another man anymore? "Get out."

They both squeaked and ran out of my office as soon as they came in. I sighed heavily and put my face in my hands in despair. It's been seven years, I want to move on, I really do, but I just can't. He probably forgot about me within the year, minus the anger he felt. My legacy as a queen continues, but my life as Y/N has stopped seven years ago. I sobbed softly like I always did when I remembered him. I was aware that I have to choose myself and set myself free but I can't.

And so, another game of being a marionette began. I was functioning and running my kingdom, but I feel like I'm a puppet being controlled with emotions that don't belong to me.

"My Queen? Is everything alright?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and went back to the present. Suddenly, loud music of festivities surrounded me. I looked down and I remembered, today was the celebration for the prisoner's human rights and abolishing the bad. In that grand entranceway where all the royals were entering and going straight to greet me and bow, it's become so easy to fake a smile. 

This ballroom was beautiful. It held a lot of memories for me, like my first introduction to the royal society. The pastel hued walls, the most monumental of chandeliers, the grand dancing space, they were all the epitome of luxury and celebration. "Yes, yes, I'm quite okay," I smiled tightly. "Just observing."

My right-hand, Jeonghan, nodded imperceptibly. He knows I'm lying but he didn't dare ask what's wrong. "The great kings and queens and all their royalties will soon enter, My Queen."

Suddenly, I noticed a group of people mingling with the rest of the party. The common people. I smiled and they waved enthusiastically towards me. I wanted everyone to be equal, even for a day, and my kingdom will be one of those who will be known for trying to be accommodating and fair for all its people.

"Announcing, the arrival of the Kingdom of Utopia!"

The horns sounded and everyone stood in attention. King Wonwoo of Utopia was one of my biggest supporters in the battle for this. Everyone entered, paid their respects, over and over again and as much as I appreciated it, it can get very draining. I never realized there were so many kingdoms until I organized one of these.

"Announcing, the arrival of the Kingdom of Dune!"

I immediately dropped the champagne flute that was handed to me, much to the surprise of everyone around me. Gasps filled the area and even the people who sounded the horns paused before they blew on it. Everyone knew the history between me and Dune, my capture, my escape, everything.

"Jeonghan?" I called out in between the music. "Jeonghan!"

A panicked right-hand immediately went to my side. "Explain!"

"M-My Queen," he stammered. "N-Nobody knew either, my theory is that they were the kingdom that didn't want to be named!"

I couldn't even hear the cheers and the music around me, the ringing in my ears got louder and louder, and louder. I do remember that when Minghao was running the list to me. I bit my lip in panic, when I was asking for supporters, some kingdoms who wanted to help didn't want to be named because they wanted to remain neutral on the outside, but help on the sidelines.

A rush of adrenaline passed through my body, I felt my blood pump faster and faster and my heavy breathing couldn't catch up. This was a telltale sign of a panic attack for me, especially because the lights were spinning and my muscles tightened.  Familiar faces were suddenly in front of me. I looked around for that face I wasn't ready to see, but I was even more panicked when I didn't see him.

"Breathe in, breathe out, count to ten..."

Before I knew it, my feet had a mind of themselves and I walked down to that voice. A smiling Yeosang readily opened his arms and I just crashed into that hug. "Someone missed me," I could practically hear the smirk on his tone. He pulled me away and took a good look at me. "Hello, Y/N."

Another hand held my shoulders and at first I didn't recognize him. "Don't cry," he gently wiped a stray tear from my eyes. "You're a queen now, you can't let these things get to you..."

I couldn't move, only staring at the man in front of me. San's face had matured greatly, long gone was the boyish charm I loved him for, for it was now replaced by strong muscles, sharp jawline, and sturdy form. He was a man now, but San was still the same. "San," I uttered in disbelief. I pulled him onto a hug and my officials made a move, but I put my hand up to stop them. Behind him, more familiar faces showed. My eyes quickly filled with tears from where I was standing. I couldn't move, scared that this was an illusion and they would disappear if I moved.

"Mingi," I said, my throat suddenly tight. "Seonghwa..."

I don't care what everyone thought, and they probably thought the queen had no composure, but I didn't care. It had been seven years too long. When they rushed towards me and pulled me onto a tight hug, I had forgotten how warm and comforting they were, and how good they felt with me.

"You've grown, I can't believe it," Mingi blurted out before he could stop himself. Seonghwa glared at him playfully. Suddenly, they both bowed. "Respects to the Great Queen of Aurora," Seonghwa announced loudly, and then he lowered his voice only the three of us could hear. "And I'm proud of you."

"Lovely people of Aurora," I announced, loud and proud, earning my old friends' grins. "These are people I treasure in my heart. You will treat them as you would treat me!"

Everybody in the ballroom burst into joyful claps and cheers and I felt a full circle moment. My people absolutely loved them and soon enough they were getting swarmed by all the other royals.

"Looking for someone?"

I froze once again with the familiarity of that voice. The last time I heard that voice, it was for defending me. "Why didn't you enter with the others?" I asked him as he stood beside me with his arms crossed, staring at the party going on in front of us. 

"And get swarmed like the others? Ha, look at Yeosang, that fool," Wooyoung snorted jokingly at Yeosang's uncomfortable face as he was getting flocked by multiple people. "No, thank you."

"You never changed," I shook my head. "I'm glad to see you."

"You should be very honoured," Wooyoung grinned. I grinned back, he looked so free and genuinely happy because his eyes smiled with him. "Anyway, he's not here."

My brain short-circuited. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Wooyoung laughed. I was surprised at how high pitched it was. "Oh, please. Rest assured, he won't be coming."

It hurt more than I'd like to admit, but it was for the best. Seeing Yunho would break my heart all over again and there were only so many times it could break.  "I'm going to get fresh air," I murmured. "Enjoy the party, Wooyoung. I'm really pleased to have you here."

I turned around to leave but he held my arm to stop me. "Wait," he stopped me. "I'm happy for the person you've become, Y/N. Truly. I knew even back then you were strong, so thank you."

That warmed my heart. "For what?"

"For going on. For straightening this nation. On behalf of Dune as the King's right-hand noble," he bowed very deeply in front of me. "I apologize for everything, and thank you very much."

"I forgave you a long time ago, Wooyoung." I felt tears prick my eyes. It wasn't something I just ever expected from Wooyoung, of all people. And so I left.

I decided to go to an isolated balcony to relax and get some air. Seeing them again had made me emotional, but instead of feeling dread, I felt lighter than I've ever been before. Everything has come full circle and it has helped me move on somewhat. I sighed deeply and leaned over the railing. I smiled when I noticed people admiring my garden and the flowers. Gardening was something I brought with me when I got back here to cope with all the loneliness of being alone with my battles - politically and internally.

Suddenly, I heard a scratching sound from behind me. At first, I thought it was just people lost in the hallways - I did let people roam my castles, I was very proud of it - but when it kept sounding, I got nervous. I had a terrible feeling bubbling up my chest. I turned around slowly, my heart in my throat, but sighed heavily when I didn't see anything. I stared at the empty balcony for a couple of seconds before I turned back around again.

It was a mistake. It happened in split seconds, too. I heard the balcony doors close and I felt heat emanate from my back. Before I could turn around, I was grabbed and a hand covered my mouth before I could scream. I thrashed around as I was beginning to get dragged out of the balcony into the nearby room. I held the captor's arm and tried to pry him off of me and he did let go, but he pushed me to the wall instead and pinned me there. 

"If you hurt me, my men will find you," I said, trying to level my voice, but I was pretty sure it was shaky. "If you're smart, you'll know what that means. You might be able to get away with it for now, but you will get caught, I guarantee you."

The captor, who I was sure was a man, didn't say anything. He remained unmoving as I stared onto a hard chest. It didn't necessarily help that he was much, much bigger than me. He stayed unmoved and my head was burning with how hard he was staring at me. His nonchalance was much worse than threatening me directly. I yelped when he grabbed both of my hands and pinned it to the wall above me. It was such an intimate position and I didn't know what to do. I closed my eyes, like he would just disappear if I did. I was even more anxious when he leaned down close to my ear, his breath fanning my skin and giving me shivers down my spine. 

"Open your eyes."

My world just magically stopped just like it did when I locked myself in a permanent cage and I had no intention of going out anymore. And then, it just magically opened as if time had never stopped and kept moving on. I looked up slowly, almost robotically, tears welling up my eyes. He had a hood on and his face was covered, but I would recognize those eyes anywhere. He let my hands go and they limply fell to my sides and he grabbed my chin gently and lifted it up.

I got a little brave and let my shaking hands touch the mask that covered his face and slowly took it off along with his hood. I fought the urge to touch the familiar scar on his lips, his beautiful lips. His hair was shorter and more swept to the side than I was used to seven years ago, his features have matured and molded itself to fit his handsome face, and his eyes, they couldn't stop looking at me.

"You look the same," Yunho murmured. He put his thumb on my lower lip and pressed on it. "Your lips are still as soft, you smell the same too. It's been seven years, yet you're still the same."

Shivers traveled down my spine and he noticed it. His voice had gotten much deeper and it had that delicious tone to it that hit places in me I forgot existed.  "I-I, b-but, y-you c-can't," I stammered like a stuttering idiot. I cleared my throat. "Certainly not. I-I've changed."

Yunho tilted his head. "Your status did," he corrected. "But other than that, you're still you, Y/N."

The way he said my name almost made me want to purr. It was like I was his prisoner again, it was absolutely pathetic. "What are you doing here?"

I whimpered when he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me towards his chest. I looked up at him, my eyes wide in shock. "Do you have to question everything I say?"

"Of course," I hissed, trying to push him away from me, but to no avail. "I am no longer your prisoner, I am a queen now, and you will respect me!"

A sly smirk shows upon Yunho's face. "You're right, but we both know that's not true."

I rolled my eyes at him. I won't let him demean me again like he used to. It was just unfair, the way that the moonlight was shining on his form reminded me of the man I used to love - or rather, the man I still loved. "What's not true?" I frowned.

"You're mine, Y/N. Whether you believe it or not, whether you like it or not, you've always been mine."

"What are you talking about?" I snarled. Had he always been this annoying, or had my imprisonment and love for this man before clouded my judgment so much? "Was the journey making you delusional?"

He chuckled. "We can change that, you know," Yunho shrugged. "We can make you mine again."

"Are you crazy? How do you propose we do that?"

"Marry me."

Time stopped for the second time today. I stared at him to see if he was going to laugh just to jest me or perhaps, he just wants to torture me one more time, but nothing. His facade was crumbling down but he kept putting them up. I must have had the most flabbergasted expression on my face and Yunho couldn't help but frown. 

"I-I think you should leave," I pushed him away from me and walked a distance. "We shouldn't be seen together."

He smirked mockingly. "You're right, Queen of Aurora."

I frowned. The way he said it, it was like he was testing how the words felt in his tongue. He made his way to me and I froze when he stopped directly in front of me and grabbed my hand.

"See you soon," he said threateningly, then kissed my hand. His lips lingered a bit longer than I wanted to on my skin and it sent shivers down my spine. He kissed it again and before he walked away.

"W-What are you doing?" I blurted out when he went to the balcony. "The door's that way...King Yunho."

He put his mask and hood back on. "I know," he said. My eyes widened when he climbed on the railing. "Call me Yunho. That's all you'll call me soon, anyway."

And with that, he jumped off. I screamed and quickly looked down to where he went. I saw him down the path staring at me. He gave me a small wink and then walked off. What the hell was that? I leaned down the railing, my legs just giving out on me. After seven years, I saw the man I loved so much, and I don't know how to feel about it.

The next week, there was a meeting about all the kingdoms that participated in what we decided to call the Prisoner Emancipation Act. I entered with my head held high, my steps regal and refined. I had to thank my father for that. I sat on my throne and received everyone's greeting.

"Is everybody here? Shall we start?" I asked out of courtesy.

"No, Your Grace, the King of Dune hasn't arrived yet," Hansol, my courtier, shook his head.

I raised a brow. I was almost positive that Yunho was doing this on purpose. Jeong Yunho was not known as a man who was ever, ever late to anything. And as if he heard, the door opened and in came Yunho and behind him was somebody who to all I owe every success I have right now.  Jongho was surprised at first, but when he internalized everything, he bowed deeply to me and rose back with the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face. I knew what he was saying in those eyes.

Thank you for all the peace we all have right now.

Yunho sat at the very end of the table and stared hard at me. It made me and everybody uncomfortable, half of it because of how intimidating Yunho was, and the rest was because if nobody was here right now, I was pretty damn sure Yunho would eat me alive. "R-Right," I cleared my throat. "Begin."

It started with the matters of what the now-freed prisoners would have to do now that they weren't in captivity. I was lucky because I was a royal, but the normal common people weren't. It was the most uncomfortable meeting I have ever been to. Yunho kept staring at me like a hawk that set its eyes on its food. Sometimes we'd make eye contact, but I avoided him like a plague overall. He wasn't even blinking, for God's sake!

"Your Majesty, perhaps you have an idea?" King Mingyu of Mist asked me hopefully. "I mean this most respectfully, but you have experienced what it's like to be on the other side."

He meant that I was a prisoner once so I should know. I nodded my head at him as I did not take offense. "Schools," I smiled. "They deserve an education so they can reset the lives they once lost and get jobs that pay higher since it's on an educated level."

Murmurs of approval went around the room. "That's a fantastic idea," King Seokmin of Halazia approved. "But wouldn't that be a bit expensive?"  That's where I hit a roadblock. It was something I knew would be asked, but truth be told, I haven't thought of any answers yet. It was the reason why I held this meeting in the first place.

"Cut the war budget and tax the rich."

I held my breath and everybody turned at the nonchalant King of Dune. Yunho had his arms crossed, still staring at me. My mouth went dry, was he trying to help me? "Valid," King Wonwoo muttered. "Explain, King of Dune."

"We are at peace at last, thank the Heavens, and nobles surely can give some of their fortune? Call it compensation for imprisoning the people and stealing their lives," Yunho began to explain. My heart beat fast, was he trying to tell me something? I saw the vision of what Yunho was saying and all the scenarios played in my head. For a second, Yunho smiled a little before it disappeared.

"Money will never get back their life," I murmured. "But they deserve the compensation. I approve of this idea."

Yunho might be the way he is and the other Kings have always been wary of him, but even I can't deny that Yunho was one of the most intelligent rulers I've come across. "Ever so wise, Your Highness," Jongho smirked in approval. I held in a giggle. For some reason, Jongho's approval brought me happiness. "I'm one for this idea as well."

"Now that that's settled," Minghao interrupted. "We shall discuss the marriage of our dear Queen."

I closed my eyes, cringing. The other kings began to murmur within themselves, but Yunho's eyes narrowed into the most dangerous slits I've seen. The way he glared at my Minghao made me feel bad for the man.

"Our Honourable Queen," a random noble piped up. "An heir would be suitable for the throne!"

Me and Jongho rolled our eyes. Maybe next time I'd abolish that rule too.  "We found a suitable bachelor for you," an older nobleman smiled at me. I knew of him, he meant nothing but the best for the kingdom. "Rise, Aiden!"

Everybody stared at the random noble that stood up from the crowd and approached me, but Yunho. His body language was rigid, and his fists were so pale with how hard he was clenching them together. "I am Aiden Birdwhistle, Your Majesty," he introduced himself. I frowned, he must not be from here. His name and accent were unique and his features were not of anyone near here. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance, my beautiful Queen."

A snort could be heard from somewhere and I didn't dare look if it was Jongho or Yunho. "Ah," I awkwardly replied. I turned to Minghao and glared at him. "Really, Minghao? Out of all places?"

Aiden grabbed my hand and it surprised me. I tried to pull my hand back but he wouldn't budge. "S-Sir, I would appreciate it if you unhand me," I cleared my throat.

"Why?" he smirked. It was different from the smirk Yunho had, this man was slimy. "We're getting married soon."

"I wouldn't go that far," I laughed nervously.

A bang from the end of the table made me jump and everyone looked at a furious looking Yunho. I was very surprised and Yunho's outburst and Jongho looked the most amused he has ever looked ever since I met him years ago. "Everyone," Yunho growled, his voice low and dangerous. "Out."

Nobody moved an inch at first, until Yunho looked around and everyone shuffled awkwardly. Yunho might not be the overall King of everyone, but there was a sort of respect that he held because he was the one who ended my father.  "Not you, you motherfucker," Yunho pointed at Aiden who refused to go. "You stay."

"Can I stay?" Jongho asked a little too cheerfully for my liking. 

Yunho glared at him before charging towards me and pulling me away. I yelped a little at the force and I landed at Yunho's hard chest. He wrapped a possessive arm over me and glared at the other man. "W-Who do you think you are?!" Aiden screamed, albeit shaky. Looks like he knows who Yunho was.

"You better know your place, Lord Dogwhistle, or I will end you," Yunho hissed.

The man flushed red in embarrassment and anger. "It's Lord Birdwhistle, Your Majesty."

"Do I look like I give a fuck, Lord Birdpisser?" Yunho raised a brow. 

By now, Birdwhistle was angry and he took tentative steps away towards the door. "M-My Queen you can't let him do---"

Before he could finish that sentence, Jongho blocked the man and towered over him, not by height since Jongho was much shorter than Yunho, but by weight. Jongho was pure muscle and you do not want to mess with this man. Yunho's voice was clearcut. "I won't ever repeat myself again," he growled. "I better not see you again hanging around here, Lord Turdkisser. I will fuck you up."

By now the poor man was spooked and he ran out of the room as fast as humanly possible. Jongho was laughing hysterically and he laughed so hard, his eyes started to water up in happy tears. "Turdkisser, seriously, Yun?" Jongho cracked up in more laughter. "So mature."

Yunho ignored him and turned to me. "Where's your chambers?"

I pointed at the room across the hall. "T-That one---wait, what are you doing?!"

Yunho was carrying me bridal style, much to my chagrin, and carried me across to my room. Ilri was in there just resting and her eyes widened comically when she saw the scene. I told her everything that happened between me and Yunho and she was more than willing to leave the room to give me and Yunho some privacy.

"I think we need to talk," he began.

"You think?" I hissed in annoyance when he put me down. "What do you think you're doing just dragging me here, in my private quarters, nonetheless!"

Yunho crossed his arms together. "You slept in my bed without fail, Y/N. This is double standards."

My brain went haywire and I began to avoid eye contact. Silence descended between the two of us. After last night, I told myself that I would avoid him, but here we are, at the confines of my private space, alone with nothing better to do.  "Nonetheless. I've been trying to get you alone since last week," Yunho's deep voice rumbled through the entire room. His eyes were watching me calculatingly and it was making me uncomfortable. "Why are you avoiding me?"

I stuttered at the straightforward question. "I-I wasn't, I was b-busy with the kingdom's affairs."

"If you're going to lie to me, look me in the eye while you do so," Yunho said. His domineering presence was so suffocating.  He wasn't wrong though. This was exactly what I was afraid of, that my heart would open up to him again once we were alone so as much as possible, I tried not to be near him. He tried to come near me, but I panicked. Hurt laced his expression when stepped back from him.

"You can't do this to me," I shook my head, willing the unwelcome tears in my eyes to go away "Seven years, that's a long time, how long are you going to torture me like this?"

Yunho sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. It was something he did when he was stressed. That realization made my blood run cold - seven years had passed yet his mannerisms came like second nature to me. "I tried, Y/N, I tried very, very hard in all those seven years," Yunho took a step forward, and I took a step back. "Please, can you just hear me out?"

"I-I don't owe you anything," I shook my head.

"You're right, you don't owe me anything," Yunho said softly. "I'm sorry," he said. "Seven years since that day, Y/N. There hasn't been a day where I never regretted what happened. If I could turn back time..."

My heart felt heavy like a boulder had been placed on top of my chest. "So much has happened," I sighed. "You hated me, you would have rather I died than be anything else besides your prisoner. I-I don't understand where you're coming from right now."

"I was going to set you free when I found that letter in your room," he began to explain, all the pain was written in his face. "You're right. I hated you, I still do."

That stung a lot more than I'd like. "I hate you for leaving," Yunho's voice cracked. "Why would you leave?"

I hesitated if I should tell him the truth. For years, that day has haunted me in my dreams and I was left with all the imagination in the world of what could have been had I just thrown that letter away like I did with the others. "I-I wasn't going to," I whispered, looking down the floor because I don't want to see his expression. "I was going to tell you, but you beat me to it."

Then, Yunho chuckled, and that chuckled turned into a full-blown laugh that sounded akin to a crazed man that lost his mind so long ago. And then, a groan of pain and misery. "For the longest time, I thought I did the right thing," Yunho took a deep breath in and stared at me. "But why did your departure make my chest burn?"

Tears started flowing from my eyes and before I knew it, I was sobbing heavily. So all that loneliness was for nothing? The dreams I had of what could have been were supposed to be what should have been?

"You're beautiful you know?" Yunho whispered. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

My head started beating a thousand times per minute. I shook my head no.  "You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on," Yunho confessed, walking another step towards me. "I lost all control and I caught myself staring at you a lot. Control is a very important thing to me, Y/N. It's what makes me function."

"I know," I smiled bitterly. "You loved controlling me."

"I did, you're right, and you know what? Maybe I still do," Yunho sighed heavily, the said control on his form slowly slipping away. There was a slight pause before Yunho continued. "It was awful," he whispered. "I couldn't eat because I'd remember your favourites. I couldn't sleep because you'd be my first thought when I woke up. I couldn't sleep in my own bed because the pillows still smell like you."

All the pain from years ago awakened inside of me. I wasn't going to tell him that my life wasn't any better. "I loved you so much," Yunho closed his eyes and a pained expression crossed his face. "I still do. I didn't realize just how much until you completely left me for good."

My breath got cut short. He loved me. I shook my head adamantly, refusing to believe him. "Y-You don't mean that," my voice broke towards the end.

Yunho tried to touch me again but I refused. "I tried to keep you for as long as I could," he pleaded for me.

I raised a brow. "What the hell does that mean? You mean as your slave and your personal punching bag whenever you were angry? You think that was my life to live, Yunho?"

"No, I didn't mean it---"

"And what about all the times where I would be alone wondering if you were finally going to snap?!"

"But I wasn't---"

"You don't love me, Yunho, you never did---"

"I let you go because my hatred turned into obsession, Y/N. I was fucking obsessed with you!" Yunho roared, making me stop. "Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"Stop talking, I'm b-begging you," I sniffled pathetically. 

"Do you know? Do you?!" Yunho shouted, pounding his chest with his hands repeatedly. "I want you so fucking bad, Y/N, I want you so bad that I don't know what I'll do if I don't have you soon because I am going insane."

The better version of me would have walked out from this room and she would have known what to do. But unfortunately, it was difficult to undo the trauma I've gone through. Yunho turned to me and his eyes became soft when he saw the sobs that wracked my body.

"You're the one hurting me right now, Yunho, it's you!" I screamed. It was the first time I said his name again, I wish it was in better circumstances. "It's been seven years and this is what you give me again after so long? I-I can't act in a way that curbs that sick pleasure in your gut!"

"I'm fucked up, okay?" Yunho begged and he tried to hold me but I avoided him. He looked like I just slapped him in the face. "Precious, please let me hold you, just once, please."

Who was this man? The king I knew would have never asked me of this, let alone beg anyone for their consent. "I imprisoned you, hurt you, killed your father, took your life away for a year and I gave you all the hurt you never knew as a princess," Yunho ran his hands on his face. 

"But I don't hate you," I said exasperatedly. "Even in the beginning  never did because to a certain extent, I understood where you were coming from." I sat on my bed in defeat, plopping down on the soft mattress. "I just never expected to fall in love with you down the line," I whispered. "It was torture, Yunho. It made me so angry and ashamed of myself."

Yunho sat on the bed next to me. "You love me?" he asked.

I turned to him and glared. "Really? I said all of that and that's the only one you heard?"

He shrugged. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Are you kidding?" I snorted. "I was a disgraced princess, why would I tell you? Plus right now, I'm sorry to say, but I'm just more angry than anything else."

Yunho smiled, and I had to pause. My heart refused to be still, it was the first time I ever saw Yunho have such an expression. He looked so young again, so carefree, and so different. He leaned down and gave my lips a small peck. I closed my eyes and blush beet red.

Darn it, darn it, darn it! Why is it that this stupid body can't control itself?!

He held my face with his hands and softly caressed me. "Tell me you still love me, precious," Yunho was slowly leaning in on me. He stared at my lips. "I wish I was the only one who kissed you."

I frowned and I was about to protest but then I remembered a certain man who reminded me of a fox. "It was your order," I deadpanned, unimpressed. "Wooyoung was just following it."

"Yeah, but he didn't have to be that into it," he rolled his eyes. "I swear I wanted to punch him that day."

I couldn't help but giggle at that. For the first time in years, I felt so much lighter, like a heavy baggage has been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt brand new and I can breathe freely. Had I known it felt this good to let go, I would have done it a while ago. "What now?" I asked him.

"I want to kiss you," Yunho admitted. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you'll have me."

He stroked my cheek ever so slightly and I nod ever so slightly. Something stirred inside me when Yunho pulled me up so I straddled his waist. "You're beautiful," Yunho whispered. "So beautiful."

And then we were kissing. Everything felt right at this moment and I couldn't help but tear up a little. Yunho swallowed my grief as his own and matches the passion we both had for each other. I moaned a bit when he began sucking on my bottom lip. I remember the kisses he stole from me from time to time before, but none of them felt like this. None of them expressed Yunho's strong desire for me. It wasn't slow and sweet, but it wasn't fast and rough either - we were both just desperate for each other. It was the reason why both our clothes were gone already.

"Yun..." I mewled softly when I felt his fingers play with my heated core masterfully, hitting all the good spots all at once.

"You can take more, precious, take it all in for me," he groaned.

At first he inserted a finger inside me, then two, and then a third one  until I couldn't take him anymore. He smirked at my squirming body. "I didn't know you were this sensitive," he kissed my body all over. "Makes me want to have you even more."

He looked directly in my eye as he watched me take his long, skillful fingers. The wet sounds of my pussy fill the room and it spurs him on to finger fuck me harder. "O-Oh God, Yunho," I moaned his name loudly. "Yunho!"

He groaned lowly as he watched, barely able to talk as he watched his fingers disappear inside me over and over again. He leaned down to claim my lips in a heated, fevered kiss.  Suddenly, I was lifted up until I was on top of him and I was basically sitting directly on his face. "Yunho, wait---"

"Hush, precious."

I screamed both in pleasure and in pain when he swatted the fleshy part of my ass. "You're going to take what I give you, yes?" I hesitated, my senses being clouded, and Yunho spanked me harder, his entire palm marking my ass as his. "Answer me, Y/N."

"Yes, yes, yes--oh, Yunho!"

He wrapped his arms on my waist, pulled me down, and his tongue immediately licked thick stripes on my pussy. I nearly saw heaven then and there. It was so obscene, the way he made love to my pussy with his mouth while I was on top was so erotic. “Y-Yunho, please!" I screamed, pure ecstasy running through my veins.

He stopped. "Tell what you want, precious, tell daddy what you want..."

I almost came when I heard that. "Yun, I-I need you..."

I sighed in pleasure when his fingers started stroking my throbbing clit. "Yun, please, please, oh..."

"I need you to be specific, Y/N," he murmured. "Tell. Me. What. You. Want."

"I want you inside me!"

He shook his head. “Not good enough.”

I shook under his touch, desperate for any sort of relief. I didn’t know what he wanted, and my mouth just moved by itself. “P-Please, daddy? I-I want you—“

That was what it took for Yunho to grab me and flip me underneath him. He wasted no time pushing his thick cock inside me, and I was almost driven to insanity when the feel of his hard cock filling me. We both groaned at the euphoric sensation. "I want to lose myself in you," Yunho moaned as his hips moved. His voice was breathy and intense. "Can I fuck you the way I want?"

I nodded without any doubts. Short, but hard, thrusts opened and stretched me as his lips crashed into mine again. Within moments, Yunho lost all control of himself and began fucking me in ways I never thought my body was able to take. "Wrap your arms around my neck," Yunho growled.

"Yes, fucking scream for me," Yunho grunted as he kept thrusting into me harder and harder. It almost broke me into two and I couldn't formulate coherent words or screams. "I said scream," he growled, but I couldn't until he slowed down. He's a menace as he fucked me harder because he knew I couldn't open my mouth. "Scream!"

I did as follows and it was all it took. He was almost violent with his thrusts as he kept grunting over and over again as his cock penetrated me deeper and deeper."Y/N," he growled deeply in my ear.

I went from moaning to crying when he suddenly pulled and then thrusted back in and buried himself balls deep. Yunho pounded and pounded me until I was nothing but a screaming mess for him, and I loved every second of it. Suddenly, he pulled out.  "Turn around," he demanded. "Onto your hands and knees."

Oh God, he was going to take me from behind. I complied and he grabbed my hips and immediately went back inside me. I screamed his name. "You're tighter like this, fuck..."

"Harder, Yunho, p-please," I begged him with a whimper. Yunho smirked and slammed onto me so hard, I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up the next day all bruised. He was hitting me in all the right places and I drooled all over the bed while screaming Yunho's name repeatedly.

"Yunho, Yunho, fuck, Y-Yunho," I grit out. "I-I think I'm gonna c-come.."

That familiar pressure of an oncoming orgasm was about to hit me and it was so overwhelming and almost unbearable. "Fuck!" I shrieked with each thrust of his hips and the way his hands would grab my hips and slam in onto his so I could meet his strokes harder and harder was driving me absolutely insane.

It was violent, but delicious. It was seven years of pent up frustrations and lust. "Whose are you, Y/N?"

"Y-Yunho, p-please," I begged at nothing in particular. He grabbed my neck and put his fingers in my mouth. The sight of me as a drooling mess while he split me open made him grin sadistically.

He bent down and I almost saw stars at how deep he was in me. "You're mine," he kept repeating over and over again. "I'd rather kill you than see you with someone else, you hear me?"

I shivered in absolute pleasure and delight. This just set back feminism by another century, but God, the way Yunho was taking me was altering me brain chemistry. "If I can't have you, then nobody else can. Understand?"

"Yes, daddy, yes," I sobbed uncontrollably. It must have down something to him as his thrust became uncoordinated and his grunts getting louder.

"Oh, shit, precious, fuck," Yunho's voice was guttural, borderline animalistic. "I'm going to fucking come, where do you want it?"

"I-Inside, please, Y-Yunho--"

"Fucking hell," he hissed. "Oh my fucking God, Y/N..."

I heard Yunho's loud groan of my name as I shook and my jerked while the heights of my orgasm took over my body. Ropes of warm liquid hitting the back of my pussy almost triggered another orgasm from me while Yunho continued riding out his high. We laid there for a moment, internalizing what just happened between the two of us, but one thing was for sure - neither of us regretted what happened and we likely never will. One last tremor racked my body and then we were done.

"What now?" I asked softly, all energy drained as I collapsed on top of him when he flipped us again.

Yunho grabbed the blanket and covered our naked bodies with it. "I don't know," he whispered back as he tenderly caressed my back. "To be honest, I don't want to think about it. I just want to focus on us for now."

"I love you," I blurted out, remnants of that high still evident in my tone.

"I love you too," Yunho whispered, placing a tender kiss on my forehead. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Y/N. I will never stop wishing that we met in different circumstances, but I'm okay with it now."

"A-Are you sure?" I frowned. "There's not much I can offer you, Yun."

Yunho shook his head. "I loved you when the only thing you offered was your life. I loved you then, and I love you even more now."

"What's going to happen to our kingdoms now?" I couldn't help but ask. It was the reason why I was avoiding him.

"We'll figure it out, precious, don't worry about it," Yunho smiled at me. "You think like a queen now, I'm proud of you." He held my hand tighter. “I meant what I said last week.”

“Which was?”

“Marry me, Y/N,” Yunho whispered. “I don’t think I can live without you anymore. It’ll keep the other ministers off your back too.”

“I-I don’t know,” I told him truthfully. “Don’t you think this all too fast? It’s been seven years, do we even know each other anymore?”

“I don’t know about you,” he turned to look at me with a small smile. “But I will never, ever forget you. See, these people like that fucker, Lord Dogwhistle? Status chaser.” He grabs my head possessively and gives me a swift kiss. “I loved you before all of this, Y/N,” he murmured. “Please, marry me? You don’t have to say yes now, I can give up Dune if you’d like.”

That statement shocked me. “What? Y-You can’t do that Yunho, you love Dune…”

“I know,” he sighed. “But I love you more. Jongho is getting married to a nearby princess, I will figure something out.”

“But Yun,” I frowned. This man was willing to give up a whole kingdom for me, but I can’t let him do that. “Jongho doesn’t seem like the type to want to rule.”

He avoided eye contact. “You’re right, he doesn’t,” Yunho said. He looked so lost. “But I can’t give you up anymore.”

A thought suddenly crossed my mind.  “Why didn’t you come sooner?” I frowned. “Seven years is a long time to finally tell me all of this.”

“Because I don’t want to mess you up again, and truth be told, I was pretty messed up myself,“ Yunho sighed deeply. “The best thing I could do back then was support your cause, I gave you every little penny I possibly could.”

I was a bit surprised. He leans in and buries his head on my neck. “You did it, didn’t you? You abolished that law.”

“How much did you donate to help the cause, Yunho?”

“Enough to surpass every little asshole out there trying to outdo me so they could impress you. I worked hard to get rid of the flies buzzing around you asking for marriage, I wasn’t about to let some fuckface have you.”

I pushed him away in slight annoyance. “That was you?” I hissed. “All this time I thought nobody just wanted to marry me!” Yunho laughed at my chagrin and all my anger melted. For the first time in a while, we both felt lighter than ever before. His laughter was the sweetest thing I have ever heard and I would love to hear it over and over again until my days come to an end. “I guess I’ll marry you,” I shrugged, trying hard not to burst into laughter.

Yunho looked like a deer in headlights. “You will?”

I pretended to think about it. “I guess so, you owe me a lot, Jeong Yunho.”

Yunho laughed again - oh, it sounded so sweet - and he stared at me as he wrapped his arms tighter around me. “This feels good,” he murmured. “I feel so much lighter. I can’t even be mad at your father anymore.”

That surprised me. “W-What?”

“If it weren’t for your father, I wouldn’t have even met you at all,” he revealed. “I know it’s not an excuse and I would spend the rest of my life begging for your forgiveness, but for the longest time, I felt so selfish for feeling that way.”

My heart went out to him and all the walls of doubt crumbled on my end. Might I regret giving Yunho a chance? Yes, but the what-ifs will kill me more than protecting myself. I have spent years denying myself of what little happiness I have. “You don’t have to choose between your people and mine anymore,” I assured him. I know he felt bad for loving because his people suffered.

Yunho looked at me, pain and confliction still evident on his face. I held his face in mine and he nuzzled his face onto it, it made my heart explode. “People like us,” I started. “Happiness is very difficult to come by because of the duties attached to our life. I-I just want to be happy, Yunho, don’t you?”

Yunho smiled at me and then gave my forehead the most tender and loving kiss. "You're going to be with me right? You're never going to leave me? You don’t know how much this makes me happy, precious," Yunho grabbed onto my hand.  "Together?"

I held his hand tighter as I leaned down onto his hard chest. "Together."

Important note for Author, please read: Hello, everyone <3 The reason why I made this longer is that I'm going on vacation for Lord-knows-how long. I've planned this for a while, but now I need it. TMI, but I have a two-year old kid and lately, writing had felt more like a chore to me rather than something I enjoyed on top of my real life responsibilities. For that, I feel so sad that my passion is kind of dwindling a little. Rest assured I will be back as soon as possible, it's just that the vacation has been planned 8-10 months in advanced.

With love,

Arin's parents told you to stay for dinner to celebrate, and you could barely hold in your smile through the hour, the phone ringing nonstop as Arin's relatives and friends congratulated the lucky girl and her parents, the neighbours stopping by to join the celebration as well, and you kindly excused yourself, saying you needed to prepare everything since you'd be leaving for the capital soon.

"I'm glad you'll be with me- I can trust you with anything," Arin told you as she hugged you.

"Thank you, Arin. I'm just glad for you, truly," you smiled earnestly at her.

Arin and you had met a few months ago when they had moved from Mist Island to the countryside. You were her neighbour, and when Arin realized you spoke fluent English, she immediately announced you her friend, and you had no objection to it- Arin was as sweet as one could be. She looked and felt like literal sunshine, her light blonde hair just adding to her bright personality. You smiled to yourself- she would truly make a great Princess, and you hoped it would happen.

Arin called you as soon as you stepped inside your house, informing you that the people from the Palace would come in two days time to inform Arin about all the rules and regulations that followed this process, as well as process your own application as Arin's personal translator who would be accompanying her basically everywhere she went along with the Prince- unless she wouldn't need you anymore or the Prince dismissed you.

You supposed that would happen sometime too, but you couldn't help but feel awkward about all of this- you would have to tread very, very carefully. You were going to appear nothing more than a shadow, only stepping in when you were needed, and pretending to be the walls or the trees whenever you were following Arin. No one could notice you.

As you picked the books out of the shelf, a picture slipped in from one of your books, and you bent down to pick it up, smiling when you saw that it was the only photo of the Prince that you had, in which he must have been around 10, where your parents had made you stand with the Prince as they clicked the photo, both of you with scowls on your faces.

Prince Hongjoong... He was an interesting character. He had great leadership skills, was great with speeches, didn't seem stiff. He was a natural, and people admired him for that. Girls swooned over his charisma and boys wished they were him. The fact that you would be seeing the Prince in a week... it meant so much to you, since the fact that your parents had served in the castle and had been on good terms with the Queen and the Prince, and had always wanted you to meet the Prince- properly. Not when you two were sticking out tongues at each other from afar.

You wished your parents were alive to witness this- you, finally meeting the Prince, though you laughed at the thought that if your mother was alive, she would have made you enter the Selection itself, just like any other mother of a daughter in this kingdom. You looked at the side, at the frame that contained the family picture, and picked it, slipping it inside the bag, then hesitating before slipping the photo of Hongjoong inside too.

One week. Your life would change.

You fell asleep wondering what the Palace was like and what the Prince was like.

---------------------

"Do I look horrible?" Arin asked you for the 15th time.

"If you ask me again, I'm going to say yes, and then you can start crying," you were pinching the bridge of your nose now, "For the hundredth time, Arin, you look beautiful. Happy?"

Arin grinned, making you grin back- you couldn't help it. She really did look beautiful in her cream coloured gown, diamantes at the neckline, her blue eyes brighter than ever. She had never looked better- the ladies at the parlour had polished and enhanced her natural beauty, not overdoing the makeup and keeping everything simple and elegant, just like Arin wanted.

"Alright, get your sleep- you look like you're gonna faint."

"I will," you pouted, closing your eyes shut.

It had been one hell of a week- two days from when Arin was selected, an official had visited, explaining the guidelines- you, as the translator, had explained everything- the guidelines being a set of rules she had to follow.

"You are now considered the property of Wonderland. You must take care of your body. You have to fill the several forms explaining the guidelines- any failure to comply on your part will result in your immediate removal from the Selection"

It started with you explaining the long list of rules, the official translator present making sure you were doing a good job, rules that informed her that the Selection could stretch as much as years but considering that it was Prince Hongjoong, it would last a few months only, that Arin could not leave the palace of her own accord once she arrives, that she would have to be dismissed by the Prince herself, not even the king or queen could force her out, though they could tell the prince that they did not approve of you, that the prince himself would arrange for her meetings and not her, that she could not stress or steal from other candidates, that romantic relationship with anyone else from now until the end of the Selection would be considered treason and would be punishable by death.

Though you were feeling weirded out by the set of strict rules, it looked like it made absolute sense to Arin seeing how her eyes were set and gleaming as she fiercely nodded along. You contained the urge to squeeze her cheeks at that. You just hoped she understood that it wouldn't be too easy.

You had three hours session with Arin each day- but they weren't very fruitful, especially when Arin was as excited as you'd ever seen someone ever, and you both couldn't help but forget all about teaching and learning Korean and instead memorizing the names of all the other participants and guessing who'd be nice, who'd had a chance, who'd get eliminated first, and having a good giggle over it. You supposed Arin needed these giggling sessions more, considering how stressed she must be because the weight of this was huge as well.

Today, the two of you had been accompanied to the airport after a teary goodbye to Arin's parents and annoying little brother who was just glad he had 'one more room to himself'. After reaching the capital where Arin greeted the crowd and even stopped to sign some autographs and take photos, you both were taken to the parlour first where even you were scrubbed and polished- literally. You told them it made no sense that you had to go through this torture as well, but the ladies just hushed you, saying that you had to look 'refined' since you would be making appearances literally everywhere too, and you realized it did make sense.

You were dressed in a comfortable deep blue suit, thanking heavens because they told you no dresses for you (unless the occasion called for it) to differentiate between the candidates and you, and you couldn't be happier. You wanted to feel sorry for Arin who would be wearing dresses and heels from now, but she looked so beautiful and happy that you realized she didn't need your pity at all- she was living her best life.

"You're smiling," Arin whispered in your ear and you opened one eye to glare at her.

"I'm smiling because I'm not the one in a dress and high heels right now," you told her.

The other two girls that were in your limo on your way to the palace were watching you both interact in English silently- not many in this kingdom spoke the language. But you had, in the beginning when you all sat inside the car, introduced Arin to them, and they had asked you if it would be tough for Arin to communicate with the Prince and if you though that could cause the elimination sooner, and you assured them that Arin was a quick learner and would be able to communicate without your help soon, which wiped the growing smirks on their faces.

You supposed it was going to be competitive- very, in fact. Some fought for the crown, and some fought for the Prince. Arin would be one of the few who genuinely liked the Prince. You hoped the Prince wasn't foolish enough to not notice that.

When you arrived inside the palace, you couldn't help but wow, the surprise echoed from the other girls in the car. The palace was a beautiful structure of coloured glass windows and deep brown rock, a vintage vibe to it even if it was built to be modern. The gardens with the greenest grass you'd ever seen was adorned with flowers of various colours and fountains every few feet.

As you got off the car, you were accompanied inside to the waiting room, the other girls already there, and Arin nervously fidgeted with her hands, biting her lips.

"You'll ruin your lipstick," you patted her shoulders, "You're probably not meeting the Prince right away, so relax."

"Doesn't make me less nervous," Arin laughed a bit, and you smiled hoping it would assure her.

The doors opened and an aged woman entered, glancing at each one of the candidates, and you stepped a bit behind Arin, the woman nodding at you and acknowledging you.

"My name is Sophie, and I will be your guide, watching over your progress and your lessons as you spend time in the palace. Please accompany me to the dining hall- I'm sure you all are famished. We can have a chat over tea, after dinner."

The girls erupted in satisfied sighs, you quickly summing up what Sophie had just said to Arin, and she smiled, the two of you moving along with the rest of the selected to the hall.

The dining hall was one generous hall, with food of every kind and desserts of every shape, making your stomach swoop. You had to remind yourself that you were only here because of Arin, smiling to yourself because you had to thank Arin. After all, when could you have had this opportunity to have so much food to select from!

"I know we're thinking the same thing," Arin laughed as she told you to sit beside her, and you did, figuring it would be easier to keep up with the conversation and translating it for Arin.

The girl next to Arin- Byeol, you recalled from the list of selected you had memorized- said hello, and Arin said hello back, asking how she was. The girl peeked forward to say hello to you too.

"Where are you from?" She asked Arin.

"From Mist Island. My mother... English. My Korean not good right now."

You patted Arin's back in encouragement- she had done well.

"Isn't it hard to be here? How will you even interact with the Prince?"

"It won't be too hard," you butted in with a polite smile, "Arin is able to understand better than she can speak, and I'm sure she'll catch up in no time. She's a quick learner."

"I hope so," Byeol let out a nervous laugh, "I mean, the competition's tough as it is. Wouldn't want her out because of language barrier."

"There are worst reasons to be kicked out," you smiled, hoping she'd get your point. You quickly summed what happened to Arin, who nodded in agreement, and Byeol only shook her head and smiled, as if she had the upper hand here.

Though Arin, being the epitome of kindness, didn't mind anyone's attitude one bit, you wanted to smear the chocolate pastry Byeol was eating all over her face. How dare she think she had the upper hand just because she was a native speaker!

You decided to do the observing as well as you ate, taking in the girls. It was so easy to figure them out, except the few that looked mysterious. You knew that as soon as they would get the first look at the prince, you'd realize if they were here for the prince or the crown.

After the dinner where you definitely did not hold back, Sophie got up from the main seat, clearing her throat and going in a speech of why the girls who were selected all possessed a worthy quality that had the king and queen vouching for them, and that they were to prove themselves in more ways now that they were here, and learn the ways of a lady who one day might bear the crown.

After the very long speech which you translated as she spoke, the girls clicked their glasses and had a drink, after which they left for the night. One guard stationed to accompany each girl stood and you bowed to your guard in greeting. He escorted you two to Arin's room, where three maids waited to attend to Arin, and the guard told you that your room was right next to Arin's, so she could call you whenever she needed. You thanked him, going into Arin's room first.

You helped her settle in with the maids- Sana, Momo and Mina, all very cute young girls, gushing about how they were so happy that they were assigned to Arin since she seemed like she was the sweetest of them all, and you assured them that Arin definitely was. They told you that language wouldn't be much barrier here since Mina knew basic English thanks to her lineage, and you sighed in relief, excusing yourself when Arin threatened to kick you out because 'I have this under control, go rest! We have a big day tomorrow!'

You took a deep breath as you entered your room- as big as Arin's but pretty much empty. Your bag was already placed at the edge of the bed and as you walked to it, you realized you didn't even have the energy to change anymore. You washed your face after taking off your coat, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

Your parents had spent most of their life in the palace, you raised by your grandmother who lived in the town near. You'd visited the palace as a kid quite a few times, playing with the other children, but you'd never seen the Prince close enough. You, as a kid, wondered just why he couldn't simply play with kids his age.

As you sat on the bed, you suddenly missed your parents immensely. If they were alive, you would have been in their room in the palace right now. Feeling an ache in your chest that was only growing, you got up, drinking a glass of water, but when that ache didn't settle, you decided to get some air.

There was a guard stationed between the distance of your and Arin's room, closer to Arin's, and you informed him that you were going to the gardens to get some air. Since you weren't one of the selected, you had the freedom to roam around the castle (as much as a visitor could) and go outside whenever you wanted, as long as the guards allowed it.

You almost rushed outside, sighing in relief when you breathed in the fresh air- the air truly was different here. You walked around, recognizing the familiar fountains from your childhood, recalling that you used to mark the fountains as a kid as a 'proof' that you had been here.

Smiling to yourself, you bent down and looked under the basin, spotting the scratches- an eight pointed star. You went to the next fountain, and the next, your smile growing bigger as you found all those stars.

"Looking for something?"

You were glad your reflex action wasn't a scream like Arin's, just a jerk, and you immediately straightened to look at the source of the sound-

You struggled to keep your scream in.

It was none other than the Prince standing in front of you.

"Your Highness," you immediately bowed, cursing internally at your state- one too many buttons undone casually, sleeves rolled up, your feet in pink slippers.

"And you are? I'm sorry, I can't recall all the names of the girls right now-"

"Oh no, I'm not one of the Selected," you said and the prince raised his brow, "I'm one of the girls' translator- if you recall."

"Oh," Prince Hongjoong nodded, smiling, "I hope you find the palace comfortable."

"Of course," you smiled, standing awkwardly, not knowing what to do, taking a moment to scan him- his silver hair shining with a slight pink tint, his posture good and straight and you mirrored it automatically, and it looked like he was still in his uniform.

"So, what were you looking for?" Prince Hongjoong smiled.

"Nothing- it's... embarrassing," you laughed a bit.

"I once lost my father's ring in the garden and spent the whole night looking for it myself, telling the guards to warn me if he came. Nothing could be worse than that."

You couldn't help but laugh at that- the Prince wasn't as uptight as he had seemed to you- he was joking around so freely. You supposed he had a similar nature as Arin's.

"I used to visit the palace when I was young, my parents served here," you admitted, "The kids and I played around here, so I'd leave some marks on the fountains every time I visited."

"Oh," Prince Hongjoong's eyes flashed for a brief moment, "And where are your parents now? I'm sure I've met them."

"You have," you nodded, smiling sadly as you looked at the moon- a half-moon, "They passed away in the rebel attack 2 years ago."

The Prince's face fell, and he took a deep breath, "We lost many loyal subjects that night. I'm sure they're in a better place now, and are watching over you and are proud."

"Thank you for your kind words," you smiled.

"So what's the mark?"

"The mark? Oh-" you realized, bending down again and pointing, "Eight-pointed star."

"Eight-pointed star?" Prince Hongjoong bent down as well, examining the scratch, "And you marked most of the fountains?"

"Uh, I may just be realizing that I damaged the king's property..."

Prince Hongjoong threw his head back and laughed, "Kids do most of that, though we'd have to look into it if we catch you scratching another star on one of the fountains," he winked at you.

Once again, silence fell as the two of you stood side by side, watching the water in the fountain. It was you who decided to break the silence.

"If you don't mind me asking... how do you feel about meeting 30 potential candidates tomorrow?"

"I'm very stressed, actually, which is why I came here to take a breather," Hongjoong admitted.

"Oh, I should leave then-"

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad to talk to someone who is not my mother or father right now," he laughed awkwardly, "Actually, it's pretty intimidating. The girls will be expecting something from me during their course of stay, but I'm not sure I can give them anything."

"You realize you are not required to, right?"

"I know," he nodded, "I would just feel bad if they leave broken hearted. I'd feel like an ass."

You let out a short laugh, the Prince joining. "Well, the girls... they're new to this too. They're all pretty excited. You don't have to figure them all out right away. Take your time, roll along... you'll find yourself used to it soon, I hope."

"Thank you," Prince Hongjoong smiled at you, "And what about the girl you'll be translating for?"

"I'm probably biased when I say this but Arin is the sweetest of them all," you smiled, "I've known her for long now. She's the kindest soul, wouldn't hurt an ant if she could manage it, but she's also very strong. She knows where she stands. I'll do my best with the language barrier, but... I feel like you'll click with her well."

"You look like you admire her," he said, and you nodded, "I guess if I click with her, language wouldn't feel like a barrier anymore."

"Exactly what I mean," you grinned at him, forgetting for a moment that he was the Prince and not your friend, until you found him scanning your face.

"I should go," you said, "I just needed some air, and the guards were kind enough to allow it."

"You can come here whenever you like, I'll let the guards know," the Prince said, and your heart swelled in gratitude.

"Good luck for tomorrow," you smiled, "Whatever your decision, I hope you'll end up being happy."

"Thank you, truly," the Prince nodded in acknowledgement when you bowed before beginning to leave.

"I never got your name!"

You turned, laughing a bit at how he'd shouted this after you were a good few feet gone. You told him your name, waving at him before leaving with a smile plastered on your face.

-------------------

You told Arin all about how you accidentally met Prince Hongjoong before any of the girls, and Arin was all squeals and laughter, the maids struggling to make her stay in place as they did her hair.

"How is he like? Is he as handsome as he looks in the pictures? Does the new hair suit him?"

You rolled your eyes- Arin was literally the Prince's fangirl. It truly was a dream come true for her to even be in the proximity of the Prince, let alone be a candidate for his future wife. "I guess the hair suits him- it sort of looks pink with the light."

"Every hair colour suits him," Mina sighed happily, "But I'd personally love it if he goes back to his natural hair colour."

You nodded- the Prince was blessed in that department.

"So? Is he more handsome or more pretty?"

"I don't know," you shifted, looking in the mirror as you fixed your tie, "He seems to be both? I don't know how he manages that. But Arin, please remember what I told you before we came here, okay?"

Arin saluted, smiling. You'd had a nice talk with Arin the night before you'd arrive here, where you'd make sure that Arin understood that being a fan of the Prince was a separate matter, that she had to be completely unbiased now that she was here. Her responsibility would be that of a crown and a princess, and she had to keep in mind that.

"But what if I don't... like him like that?" Arin had asked you.

"I think not everyone is gonna like him like that in the first place," you had assured her, "And I'm sure the Prince would know that. I think you should tell the Prince if you think you won't be happy with him."

"All done!" Mina announced, and Arin got up from her chair, twirling in the deep blue gown that made her eyes look the brightest blue, her curls pinned with pearls and falling like a waterfall down her back.

The guard knocked on the door, announcing that it was time to go, and Arin squeezed your hand once before the two of you went outside, waving goodbye and thanking the maids, who wished Arin best luck. You were led to the Women's Room, where one by one the girls entered, all dressed in beautiful gowns that they couldn't stop touching nervously, and as you stood back and watched them, you realized that though they knew they were each other's competition, they also felt a kind of sisterhood, especially when they tucked someone's stray hair behind or wiped smudged makeup off each other-

"Ugh, why am I the only one wearing pink here?" One of the girls- Nara, who had to be the visually most attractive one present here, huffed as she looked at the other girls' dresses.

Of course there were girls like her too here. You smiled inside- she would get used to it soon, you hoped.

The room immediately quietened when Prince Hongjoong entered, all regal with his slicked back hair and navy blue suit, the girls all curtsying while he smiled, Sophie standing right beside him.

"Good morning, ladies."

The air immediately felt different, the girls now straightening and arranging themselves. The Prince smiled, "I'd like to introduce myself to you all, so if you don't mind, one at a time I will be calling you. I won't take much of your time- do forgive me if I'm a little slow with names."

As he said that, he surveyed the room once, his eyes landing on you and his smile getting wider- you weren't expecting that so you just smiled back, hoping no one else had noticed.

The girls giggled and grinned, waiting by the couch on Sophie's instructions, one by one moving to the Prince who stood by the window with a drink, what seemed like casual conversation flowing between them. It only lasted for a few minutes each with the girls returning with nervous smiles.

"I wonder what he's asking," Arin fidgeted.

"Maybe he's just wondering what's your favourite food," you scoffed, making her laugh a bit.

Before you knew it, it was Arin's turn, and she squeezed your hand before the two of you went to where he stood, Arin saying hello with a smile, you doing the same and standing beside Arin.

"Arin? You look lovely today."

You knew Arin understood that, and she bowed a bit, replying with a thanks. Prince Hongjoong smiled, "I heard you're English. I know a bit of it."

You translated that to Arin, and she replied in Korean, "Really?"

The Prince nodded, "Where are you from?"

"Mist Island, my parents had an English lineage, we moved to this kingdom before I was born."

The Prince looked at you and you translated that for him as he nodded, "Mist Island is beautiful. I've only been there once when I was little, but I hope to visit again. Maybe you could show me around."

Arin noticed the flirtatious smile on his lips as you translated that, and she beamed, "It would be an honour to show you around my home town."

"But you live in the countryside now, right?"

As you translated that for Arin and she nodded, you realized the Prince had done his own research as well- probably on every girl.

"Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you, Arin. I hope we can get along well despite this obstacle."

Arin got that, bowing to the Prince and you did the same, finding his eyes beaming as he looked at you. "You're doing a good job. I hope you find the palace comfortable."

"I do," you assured him with a thanks.

"I didn't get to say this last night, but," Hongjoong sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "If you wish to visit your parents' room or anything like that, you can talk to Sophie. I've already talked to her."

You were surprised- was the Prince this generous or was this an exception? You shook the thoughts off, thanking him for his kindness and he told you both to join the girls in the dining hall after he announces what's next.

As you both went back, you told Arin what he had just said, who only sighed happily, saying something about how generous he was and how he was a born Prince. You shook your head, smiling as you reached the others, Arin immediately surrounded by the girls who asked what they talked about, and Arin told them in broken Korean, the girls laughing and correcting her mistakes.

Prince Hongjoong walked to the center of the room, clearing his throat, "If I have asked you to move to the dining hall, please follow Sophie out, the rest of you can stay here."

The girls looked at each other in nervousness, most of them following Sophie out, you and Arin along with them, and as you entered the hall, the King and Queen greeted the girls, everyone including you curtsying before taking their seats and digging into the food.

"I wonder why he asked some of them to stay," the girl beside you, Nayoung, said, "Did they do something good? Maybe he wants extra time with them."

"No idea," you muttered, "He wouldn't eliminate someone so soon, would he?"

Nayoung looked at you, "I doubt he would."

But he did. Just like that, 22 girls remained out of 30. And you wondered if Arin really had caught his attention or if he was just giving her a second chance because of the language barrier.

The next morning at breakfast table, everyone thought so as well. Why Arin was kept, why girls like Nora or Nayeon were eliminated, who clearly looked like they had potential. The girls ate nervously, all except Arin, and you had to keep yourself from laughing as Arin moaned after each bite of chicken. Prince Hongjoong sat at the end of the table, watching Arin with amusement in his eyes.

"Lady Arin? Enjoying the food?"

Arin almost dropped her fork, looking at you and you translated.

"Food delicious, but cake-" Arin waved at the dozens of pastries and sweets, "I make better."

The table erupted into laughter and Prince Hongjoong straightened. "Really? Is that a challenge?"

You laughed as you translated, and Arin nodded enthusiastically, the Prince looking at you as if to ask you if Arin was joking or not.

"Arin is an exceptional baker," you were beaming proudly as you announced, "And she accepts the challenge."

"Well," Prince Hongjoong, "I guess I'll have to arrange for a date in the kitchens- mother would be the most happy to learn I'll be stepping in there!"

Everyone looked at Arin in awe for securing her first date with the Prince, and as you conveyed that, Arin smiled and bowed her head a bit in acknowledgement. You felt proud at that moment- a very sisterly pride as you grinned at Arin. She had done it!

The Prince told you both after the breakfast that he would arrange for a suitable time and let you know, and by the time he left, you and Arin were practically jumping up and down, in a very unladylike manner- for Arin. Sophie let you both have your moment before she cleared her throat and told all the girls to write letters home and let them know how you were holding up. The girls sighed collectively in relief, rushing back to their rooms and while Arin went back, you decided to take that moment and ask Sophie about your parents.

"Ah, so it's you," Sophie's face changed as she smiled, "I remember the lot of you. It was always troublesome when the kids gather. Hongjoong would always be at one of these windows watching you all play enviously."

Now that was news. You always thought as a kid that the Prince was a stuck up snob who wouldn't bother to play with kids like you- but apparently all this time he wanted to join?

"You remember me?"

"Not much, but just the few kids playing in the gardens- it has been a memory I look back to sometimes. I was the one who'd always tell you all to keep your voices down, if you remember."

You gasped- it was her! Sophie laughed as you put a hand over your mouth in disbelief, bowing once in recognition as Sophie waved you off. "I remember you!"

"Of course you do," Sophie smiled, "I'll let one of the guards accompany you to your parent's room-"

"Not today," you hesitated, and Sophie looked confused, "I... I need some time. Can I visit once I'm ready?"

Sophie seemed like she understood, "Of course, dear. If you need anything, do let me know. Your mother was the most kind to me. The Queen misses her dearly."

"The Queen does?" You frowned.

"Don't you know? She was one of the queen's personal maids."

"Oh... They kept their work very private," you smiled. Of course she was. There was a reason she sometimes looked guilty when she slipped something about work- or the Queen- in front of you.

"Good to hear that," Sophie said.

"I'll take my leave now," you thanked her and left the room, feeling overwhelmed by the information and the weight of all this.

----------------

The next morning, all the girls including you were having breakfast with the royal family, casual conversation flowing between everyone, the girls around Arin asking her if she had her date yet, Arin shaking her head no repeatedly with a smile.

You were just on your third chocolate cookie when you were interrupted by the sudden opening of the doors, the guards shouting 'rebels!' and the room erupted in chaos.

"To the back of the room, ladies, now!" Prince Hongjoong got up, all except two guards leaving while the two shut and bolted the door from inside, the King putting a protective arm on his wife leading her to a corner, a few girls following them on instinct, and you immediately grabbed Arin's hand, telling her that rebels were inside the palace.

Arin was positively scared and you shushed her, telling her that now was the time to maintain her calm if she wanted to get Prince Hongjoong's attention, and she straightened her back a bit as she followed the girls to the back of the hall. Some of them were quietly sobbing, while some were shaking. It looked like not many had experienced such a situation.

You saw Prince Hongjoong pull down the shutters of the windows one by one and instead of following the girls, you decided to do the same, going to the other end of the room and drawing the shutters down, until there were two windows between you and the Prince, and at that moment you caught a flying object in your direction-

"Prince Hongjoong, duck, now!"

You only had time to say that as you drew your arms in front of you and crouched down, a sigh of relief escaping you when you saw the Prince follow your lead, the sound of a crash following soon after, the shards of broken glass spraying around you.

You heard Arin's scream, glad when you saw one of the girls hold her back protectively, and you got up, waving to her to indicate you were alright. The Prince got up, shutting the remaining two shutters- the window right next to you was broken.

"Are you hurt?" Prince Hongjoong grabbed you by the shoulders as he scanned you.

"Are you hurt?" You scanned him, and he shook his head, looking at the broken shards of glass.

"You're hurt," he noticed a shard of glass buried in your palm, blood trickling down your hand. He took out his handkerchief, and before he could pull the shard out, you stopped him, taking it out yourself and wincing slightly- it was a few inches big. You let the prince tie the handkerchief.

"You should have been careful, I thought I told all of you to get back to the room."

"The girls did," you replied, "I had to do something."

"I clearly addressed 'ladies'," Prince Hongjoong smiled at you, "You fall there too."

"Sorry," you held back a grin but the Prince noticed.

"Get there, please. I need to make sure the situation is okay before I get to the girls," he looked back once at the huddled girls, beckoning you to join them before going to the guards and speaking to them.

You joined Arin who hugged you, "I thought you were hurt badly!"

"Nothing much," you shook her off, "You know my instincts are good- I saw it coming, literally."

Arin rolled her eyes and you smiled- good. She was relaxed now. "You holding up okay?"

"Yeah, I just never expected something like this, I guess," Arin bit her lips, looking at the girl next to her, "Should we comfort them?"

"You should," you smiled, "I'll... see. I should too, I guess."

Arin looked at you knowingly and you gave in- she knew exactly what was going through your head, that some of the girls were sobbing more than they needed so maybe the Prince could come and console them.

And he did, patting every girl's back, telling them it was okay, that they were safe. Some girls even dared put their heads on his chest as they sobbed, and you noticed that the Prince was clearly nervous as he comforted the girls. When he reached Arin, you were proud that she didn't cry and he smiled at you both.

"You should go to the hospital wing after all of this is over," the Prince said, "You might be needing stitches."

"It's just a small cut," you said, but Prince Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at you.

"It's an order."

You couldn't resist rolling your eyes this time and he laughed at that, you internally slapping yourself because how dare you roll your eyes at the Prince? But he didn't mind, telling you both to take care of yourselves as he went to the next girl and the next.

You did go to the hospital wing after everything settled, the nurses cleaning the wound and bandaging it saying it wouldn't need stitches, and you went to Arin's room after that. The girls were going to have dinners in their room since they were a bit shaken after the events of today, and you decided to have dinner with Arin.

"Do you think the rebels come here often?" Arin asked.

"I remember dad told me that they came at least three times a year on average," you said, "Some people aren't happy with the Selection, thinking the royals are neglecting the problems of the people, so I guess this was bound to happen."

"I hope it doesn't happen again," Arin shivered, "I'd hate anyone to get hurt."

"I hope so too," you suddenly weren't hungry anymore.

You decided to go for a walk before sleeping, just to clear your head, dressed in your deep purple silk pyjamas. The guard were now recognizing you and let you out without question, and you walked along the rows of flowers, your head blank, until you noticed a figure strolling casually as well.

"I guess you needed to clear your head too?"

It was the Prince.

You nodded, bowing once, "Are you... alright?"

"I am, thank you for asking," he said, and now that he was closer, you noticed that he was still in the same clothes, the coat off now and sleeves rolled, hair a beautiful mess. "How's your wound?"

"Oh, it's okay," you showed your bandaged palm, "It was a small cut after all."

"I've been meaning to ask you," he shifted, "How did you know to click the shutters close? Not everyone gets that on first try."

"Ah," you nodded, "It's my dad- he taught me how to when I visited the palace once, in case rebels came when I was present."

The Prince nodded, "When I told Sophie about you, she told me who your parents were- I was trained by your dad, in fact."

"You were?" Your jaw fell open- now that was news.

"I was, I knew your dad well," he smiled, "And your mother too. They were very close to us. I'm surprised you didn't tell me earlier."

"I... I didn't know," you admitted, "They always kept their work a secret from everyone, just said they served in the palace. I guess they didn't want anyone asking for favours or something, not even their own daughter."

The Prince noticed how confused you looked, "There must have been a good reason for that. They always talked about you. They were immensely proud of you- your dad was always comparing me to you as well."

"And how exactly? I don't think I can compete with you, Prince."

"Call me Hongjoong," he said, putting his hands in his pockets, "He said you were a better learner than I was. He said, and I quote, 'my daughter could flip you as if you weighed nothing but a sack of potatoes- an empty one at that'."

You couldn't help it, you laughed out loud at that. "I cannot! I mean, I could, but I'm not that good. I'm sure he only said that to get you to learn quicker."

"It worked," Hongjoong laughed, "So he trained you too?"

"Just a bit, mostly defense," you told him.

"Have you visited their room yet? Did Sophie update you?"

"She did, but I... I can't go visit their room right away."

Hongjoong paused a bit before continuing to walk. "Is there a reason?"

"I... I just need some time. Now that I'm here, it feels like they're still running around, mom nowhere in sight like always, dad with the guards while I wait for them to finish their work so we can go home. Plus, with all the new information about their jobs..."

"I understand," Hongjoong assured you, "Take your time. It must be hard for you."

"Thank you," you passed a smile, "Will the rebels be back anytime soon?"

Hongjoong realized you must know a great deal about rebels, "They might come back sooner than we expect. They're not happy with what's going on these days. It'll take some time to calm them down."

You nodded, suddenly aware of the time you'd taken. "I'm sorry- I'm always interrupting your alone time-"

"No, it's perfectly fine, I appreciate this," Hongjoong said, and you narrowed your eyes at him, making him laugh.

"I truly do. I like it when I have someone to talk to, to sort my thoughts out, but there's not many I can talk to. If you'd like... can we be... friends? Can we talk like this sometimes? No pressure though, don't feel obliged to accept just because I'm, well, the Prince."

You shut your mouth before your jaw could drop- did he really ask you to be his friend?

"You don't have many friends, do you?"

Hongjoong put his hands up in surrender, and you pretended to consider. "I guess we can. If you were friends with my dad... you should know I'm very much like him."

"Bad humour and no regard for authority? Can I take my offer back?"

"Too late, Prince," you grinned.

Hongjoong sighed dramatically, asking you if you wanted to take a seat with him and you nodded, sitting on the bench and watching the sky. "Can I ask you why you're holding this Selection in the first place?"

Hongjoong looked at you once before sighing and looking back, "I didn't want to, actually. The thought of 30 girls with their futures depending on my decision is more intimidating than I thought. But it was a tough time for everyone, and the Selection was killing two birds with one stone- providing a distraction and hope to the kingdom, while hoping I find someone who can stand me here."

You looked at him, "You think those girls can't stand you?"

"I know most of them will be changing their minds once they get to know me and this lifestyle more. It's more appealing from a far, as you must know."

"You do have a point," you nodded, "It must be tough. I'm..."

"Don't say you're sorry, I know that if you're like your dad, you're enjoying my misery."

You passed him a guilty look as you both laughed, and you shook your head, "I really hope you find someone you'll like in there. Someone who can actually stand you, the Prince and... Hongjoong. Both."

Hongjoong nodded at that, a little surprised, "Not many people know how I am really like."

"If you want, I can tell the girls you're the type to become jealous really quick."

Hongjoong frowned, and you grinned, "Sophie might have told me how you used to watch us kids play outside with a little scowl on your face-"

"I was a kid!" Hongjoong laughed out loud, "Of course I wanted to join you all!"

"You didn't tell me this the night I told you I was one of those kids," you looked at him pointedly.

"Should I really have told you that I was the one you called 'stuck-up brat'?"

You gasped at that, Hongjoong silly dancing victoriously while you looked away, ashamed. "It's okay, we were kids. I was envious, and you thought I was, well, a stuck-up brat."

"You're not denying it."

"You think I'm a stuck-up brat?"

"I don't know, are you?" You raised a brow, and Hongjoong grinned mischievously.

"I guess you'll find out soon."

The two of you stared at each other, not even realizing until you heard one of the guards walk past, the two of you suddenly drawing out of your trance, and you both got up, suddenly feeling aware.

"I should go," Hongjoong laughed awkwardly, "It's been nice talking to you."

"Same," you told him, brushing your clothes, saying bye and beginning to go back, pausing when you felt a hand stop you by the arm.

"Sorry, I just wanted to say... don't tell about our... interactions, to anyone- not even Arin. I don't want the other girls to give you a hard time because they'll think you're competition or something like that."

"Of course," you said, "I'm only a shadow here, don't worry."

You thought there was something sad about Hongjoong's smile as he said bye and went back.

-----------------

Hongjoong remained busy handling kingdom affairs while you were busy with Arin as you gave her language lessons, kept her up to date with everything, sat with her through the etiquettes lesson and guided her along. Everyone was getting used to conversing through you, and you were glad that no one could hate Arin- she was always so bright, always smiling and happy and clearly meant no harm, but you also understood that part of the reason was because the girls clearly thought Hongjoong would let go of Arin sooner or later.

But everyone sure was envious of Arin's date, scheduled in the evening before dinner. Arin sat in her room in pants and a blouse, wondering which recipes she should try.

"Tell me you'll help me too," Arin narrowed her eyes at you.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to interfere in your date," you grinned slyly.

"You witch!" Arin laughed, "You know we work better together."

It was true- Arin had taught you quite a few recipes and she was usually instructing you to do the menial tasks while she worked on the main ones to save time.

"Will you bring some for us?" Sana sighed dreamily, "It's been forever since I tried food that was not from the palace."

"I know right," Momo slumped in the couch, "I really want to go out and taste something new."

"Maybe you all should come and help us too," Arin said nervously.

"No, never," Mina scolded Arin, "Stop being nervous! The Prince will be here any second."

As if on cue, a knock sounded, and the maids immediately got up in a flurry, gushing over how Arin looked one last time before opening the door, letting Hongjoong in while they left, grinning.

"Ah, so you're prepared," Hongjoong scanned Arin- it was his first time seeing Arin so casual, yet she still looked elegant enough.

"Prince Hongjoong," Arin curtsied.

"Please skip the formalities and call me Hongjoong when we're alone," he smiled at the two of you.

"You're going in the kitchen in that?" Arin asked, and you kept in your laughter as you told Hongjoong what she had said.

"Now what's wrong with this-" Hongjoong looked down at his very polished black jacket, his prince attire- his usual attire.

"Do you think you're just going to be sitting back and watching her cook?" You asked Hongjoong, "You're helping."

Hongjoong's jaw dropped and as you told Arin what you'd said, she grinned, giving you a thumbs up, and Arin went ahead, snaking her arm in his and saying, "Lead the way."

"If I had known I was going to be the one doing the work," Hongjoong looked at you, "I would have maybe changed the location of the date and accepted Arin as a better chef."

"Which is why this was a surprise, but you should have figured it out," Arin said with a wink, making him laugh.

He led you both to the kitchens, where the staff greeted the Prince, Arin and you, saying this was a first time someone would have a date in the kitchen.

Arin asked for aprons, helping tie Hongjoong's and you smiled at how comfortable they looked with each other. Arin asked for the chef and looked at you as she said, "We're making brownies and scones. Should I leave the brownie batter to you?"

"Of course," you nodded, "I'll stay close by- you and Hongjoong can work on the scones."

You translated that to everyone and the chefs went to get the ingredients, Arin following them as she picked some of her own while you rolled your sleeves.

"You should roll your sleeves too," you said to Hongjoong who was watching you, "And do keep your arms tucked in as you work."

"Alright, ma'am," Hongjoong saluted, following your lead.

"So have you never baked before?"

"I have never cooked or baked," Hongjoong said, "I was always too busy."

"Well, first time for everything," you smiled, "Don't worry, Arin is a sweetheart. Even if you do something wrong, she'll tell you you did excellent with a smile."

And sure enough- Hongjoong was supposed to be following Arin but he was way too clumsy, which earned a good laugh from everyone, but Arin kept encouraging him- in Korean, thanks to the last lesson you'd given her where she'd specifically worked on phrases she'd probably need. It was cute to watch Hongjoong struggle with English while Arin struggled with Korean.

You were standing beside Hongjoong, not too far so you could help if they mistranslated anything, and the few cooks were following your lead, asking you about how Arin knew so much about baking- which you told them was thanks to her aunts being professional bakers.

"That looks way better than mine," Hongjoong looked at your batter as you dropped the chocolate chunks in the bowl, "can I have the chocolate?"

"No," you continued pouring the rest of the chocolate in, but Hongjoong slipped a hand in and picked a chunk, grinning in victory.

"Focus on your batter, Prince," you scoffed, "You don't wanna embarrass yourself on your first date, do you?"

"I'm afraid it's too late to worry," Hongjoong sulked as he fiddled with the spoon.

"Now we bake," Arin announced, smiling at you two and wriggling her brows at you, and you told her you just needed 5 more minutes to be done. Arin helped Hongjoong with the rest of his batter, and Hongjoong finally sat and watched as she set the tray and put it in the oven.

"Good riddance," Hongjoong muttered, and you kicked his leg from under the table before going to pour your own batter and tossing it in the ovens.

There were enough scones and brownies for everyone in the kitchen- a few people only, which meant you could take some back to the maids too. The three of you sat side by side as you watched the scones and brownies rise dreamily.

"I love this smell," Hongjoong muttered, "Maybe I should come in the kitchen when I want to relax."

You were sitting beside Arin so you quickly told her what he'd just said, and she smiled, "I used to do that. The smell alone made half my worries disappear."

"I can see that," Hongjoong smiled.

"The kitchens are open to you lot whenever you want to come," the head chef announced, "Especially you, Arin. I already know these are going to taste amazing. We could learn a thing or two from you."

Arin grinned, "Maybe I could learn from you all too- the food is amazing here. Thank you."

Hongjoong noticed how everyone was looking at Arin with admiration- she truly was humble and kind.

One by one the bells started to ding and Arin and the chefs picked out the trays from the oven, setting it on the tables to cool down, Arin swatting Hongjoong's hand away when he tried to pick one, scolding him because it was hot and 'a Prince should be patient' at which Hongjoong rolled his eyes and slumped down as he glared at the scones and brownies.

"Come on," you teased, "you're sulking way too much."

"Just because I'm a prince doesn't mean I can't," his sulk went deeper, making everyone around laugh.

Arin fanned one of the trays, making Hongjoong's face lift in hope, and when she finally touched the food to make sure it wasn't burning hot, she picked a scone and a brownie, setting it on a plate and adding a few toppings before handing it to Hongjoong.

"Go ahead and try," she smiled.

Hongjoong looked at you for confirmation and you nodded, and he finally picked the fork and took a bite of the scone, then a bite of the brownie, Arin eagerly waiting for him to react.

Hongjoong looked at the chef first, who raised his brows, then at Arin, then at you, and then slid his plate away.

"This is too good to eat."

Arin's face fell but you laughed, telling her what he had just said, and she almost cried, scolding Hongjoong for making it look like he hated it, at which he laughed, digging into his sweets again, everyone else passing scones and brownies too, compliments flowing for Arin and you didn't need to translate any of that- their faces said enough.

"For the maids," Arin picked some scones and brownies and asked for a box, and Hongjoong smiled.

"Maybe we should make these again for dinner one day. I'm sure the king and queen would love these too."

Arin gasped in surprise, but when Hongjoong nodded to assure her, she smiled, "Maybe."

"I should compliment you too, after all, you made the brownies," Hongjoong looked at you.

"This was Arin's recipe, I only followed the instructions," you told him.

"You know, my mother says that nothing tastes the same when made by different people even when the instructions followed remain perfectly same- the taste of one's hand- or heart," Hongjoong smiled, "you got that too."

You rolled your eyes but you were clearly pleased, "Thanks. I guess I do."

After eating until you all felt like you would throw up if you ate any more, Hongjoong thanked Arin for this experience, saying he'd never forget it and he promised to come to the kitchen more. Arin told him he didn't need to, but he could come if he wanted to relax. He walked her to the room, leaving with a kiss to her cheek that had her jumping up and down after he left, and you laughed at how she was going on about her 'fantasies fulfilled'. Entering, the maids waiting, you waved the boxes in front of them and they thanked Arin graciously before eating and moaning because these were too good.

The news of Arin's date got to the girls too, and you heard them talk about it the next morning, asking Arin how the Prince was like, if he was too uptight or if he was funny, etc. Arin truly felt like a star.

You sat through the history lesson, learning things yourself as you conveyed everything to Arin. It was the history about how the kingdoms of Wonderland and Utopia had united, how they always used to be at war for one reason or another, until about 49 years ago when the two had been united by the king, peace settling for a few decades, but the people growing restless with every passing year as discrimination grew.

Sophie asked how the rebels could be handled, and the girls had interesting answers to give- ranging from getting rid of the rebels altogether to actually finding a solution, such as a hearing from the rebels where they talk about the problems with the royal family and figure something out together.

Two days passed by, Hongjoong spending time with all the girls whenever he could, the girls who hadn't had a date yet getting insecure and nervous about it, until it was finally the day for the report- the first time the girls would have a live talk and reveal themselves to the public after getting in the palace.

Sophie had done you a favour and let you in on the script for Arin's questions, so she could prepare her English accordingly, and you were glad for it. Though you would be present and guiding her along, it would really help if Arin already knew what could be asked.

The maids insisted on getting you in a dress, but you strongly rejected- you really did not want to steal Arin's spotlight. You would only distract the public if you appeared the same as Arin. And even though Arin pouted and asked you (something you couldn't usually refuse), you had to shake your head no this time.

"Just dress me in the best suit," you winked at the maids, "I'll be good with that."

So while Arin had dressed in a deep red gown with lots of frill and pearls, her hair half tied with curls framing her face, you had dressed to match in a deep red three-piece suit. You absolutely loved it and thanked the maids for coming up with this- the pearls near the neckline were cherry on top. Your hair was slicked back, pearl earring in your ears the only jewellery you had along with a watch. You had matching heels to finish your outfit.

"We look more like a couple than I could ever look with Hongjoong," Arin grinned.

It was true. You grinned back, "We'll get Hongjoong to match with you one day and see who makes the better couple."

Arin slapped your arm playfully, and then you were escorted by the guards to the room where the broadcast would be conducted, and you had to blink your eyes a few time to adjust to the lights and the colours of the selected girls seated in the front. You both went inside, sitting side by side in the second row, Byeol next to you.

"Arin looks gorgeous, but you? Holy hell, woman."

"Is it too much?" You frowned- you hadn't expected to grab attention.

"I'm just saying you look great- if you weren't in a different dress, you could easily pass as one of the selected," she smiled, focusing her attention back on the crowd.

You thought about it- would people think the same after seeing you on television? Probably not. You were only a translator, you'd be sitting in the shadows as you translated everything to Arin- and you hoped she wouldn't need you.

The girls were pretty nervous, one even having to rush to the toilet because she felt like she was going to throw up. You looked at Arin- she seemed excited but the way she was unconsciously cracking her knuckles gave her away.

"If you crack your knuckles while you sit there I'll break your fingers," you warned.

Arin laughed, "You're such a mother. But if I do, feel free to poke me. I'll do the breaking myself."

You chuckled, the lights getting dimmer, and the host Kang Yeosang entered, his hair in a blonde mullet, and looking as beautiful as ever.

If there was one man you thought looked perfect, it was Yeosang. He looked too perfect to be real, and you were probably more nervous about getting to meet your favourite celebrity and host of variety shows or talk shows than the interview itself.

"I think I'm gonna have to shake you one or two times during the interview," Arin said as she closed your mouth shut with a finger, laughing at how star-struck you were after seeing Yeosang, and as you glared at her, you pointed to the girls- you weren't the only one with a hanging jaw.

"Good evening, Wonderland!" Yeosang announced, looking as much a prince as the Prince himself in his deep purple suit, "Tonight, we'll be getting an inside scoop from these young ladies I know you're all dying to meet. We'll learn how things are going with Prince Hongjoong, we're just going to ask! Let's welcome... Miss Kim Kahi from Utopia City!"

Kahi moved elegantly from the first row to the stage, greeting Yeosang with a curtsy before settling down. She was composed and did well, so did the others, but it was pretty predictable. Some girls were acting shy on purpose- you'd never seen them like this and you knew because you were usually the one sitting back and watching everyone objectively. Some were clearly nervous but Yeosang joked a bit, which helped them calm down.

Arin was called when there were two girls remaining- the two of you got up, you immediately rushing to the backstage from where you would seat yourself as Arin would walk to the stage and greet Yeosang. You stood waiting until Arin was ready to sit, which was when Yeosang shook your hand too, and you prayed your hand wasn't sweaty as you smiled.

"Miss Arin from Mist Island, a unique case here because of the language barrier- I hope you're holding up well?"

Arin looked at you in confirmation and you nodded, and she smiled as she looked at Yeosang, "I'm doing well, thank you for asking."

"Ah, you sound good! Do we have your translator to thank for that, Miss...?"

You told him your name, "Arin is a quick and eager learner, I'm sure she'll get the hang of this is no time."

"Definitely! So, Arin, tell us, have you had a date with the Prince yet?"

"I have, we made cake in the kitchen," Arin was gleaming, making Yeosang chuckle.

"Now that's something unheard of! So tell us- is our Prince as good at baking as he is at running the kingdom or does he need practice?"

Arin looked at you with confusion this time, and you quickly told her what he'd said, "He's very good! Pro!"

As she said that, she looked at Hongjoong sitting in the front row who was laughing and shaking his head, making the crowd laugh as well as the cameras panned back and forth.

"I think the Prince disagrees, now which one of you is lying?" Yeosang narrowed his eyes dramatically, and you told Arin, Arin instead asking you to explain.

"She says she would never lie about this," you tried to stop the grin appearing on your face.

"Let's hear from the Prince," Yeosang looked at Hongjoong, who picked up his mic.

"Arin refuses to admit I'm a bad chef, but I did exceptionally well thanks to Arin's instructions. She's an excellent guide and baker!"

"Ah, that's great to hear," Yeosang smiled, "So Miss Arin, how do you feel about the Selection?"

Now Arin got the question, and she spoke confidently, "I'm honoured to be a part of it, no matter the outcome. Whoever he marries will be a lucky person. And..."

Arin turned to you as she spoke, and you cleared your throat, "Arin says that Prince Hongjoong is an amazing person, and she hopes he finds a good partner through this process, no matter who that is."

Yeosang smiled warmly at the two of you, "Thank you, Miss Arin. We hope to see you again in the next report, good luck!"

With that, you and Arin took off, you going backstage while Arin stood for a few pictures before leaving the stage. As you made your way back, the girls grinned at you. "You two were amazing. Arin did such a good job, I feel happy for her."

"Thank you Byeol, Nayoung," you smiled.

After the interviews, you all were led to have dinner in the hall, where Hongjoong joined, applauding everyone for doing a good job with the interviews. He was going from one girl to the other to have small talk after dinner, and then he finally reached the two of you.

"Good job, Arin!" Hongjoong smiled and Arin thanked him, "You did better than I expected."

"You should thank her," Arin said, but the two of you shook your head.

"It was all you, Arin," you said, and Hongjoong nodded.

"A little bit of her too, but all you," he laughed.

Arin smiled, and Hongjoong looked at you, "Are we walking in the garden tonight?"

"Are we?" You cocked your head- was that an invitation? Hongjoong only smiled.

"I'm not supposed to tell you already, but there's an assignment coming up where Arin would have to present something verbally. Just dropping a hint- foreign visit taking place soon."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," you zipped your lips, squeezing Arin's hand as in 'wait'.

"I'll be taking my leave then, have a good night, Arin."

"Good night," Arin smiled and Hongjoong took her hand and kissed it before taking his leave, leaving Arin watching him dreamily.

"Snap out of it, woman, we have work to do," you clicked your fingers in front of her, "Assignment. Foreign visitors, you'll have to present something. Don't tell anyone- he only told us."

"Why did he only tell us though?" Arin frowned.

"He probably wants you to do a good job," you put a hand on your hip, "Which means you might be one of his favourites right now."

"Wow... that's good to hear," she let out a breathy laugh.

"Also... I should tell you this, but Hongjoong knows me from our childhood too- not much," you sighed, "Remember how I told you I used to visit the palace often? He's seen me around."

"Ah, that's so cool!" Arin gushed, "I wish he'd known me too."

"That's not cool in any way," you muttered, flashbacks of your dark past- especially the fact that he knew you used to call him a stuck-up brat flowing in your head, and you shook the thoughts away.

"I'll tell you more later- I found out that my mother was the queen's maid and father was Hongjoong's personal trainer- tell no one, okay?"

"Who would I tell, you're my only friend," Arin rolled her eyes, "But how come you did not know this? They didn't tell you?"

"That's what I keep asking," you bit your lips, "Why am I the last person who knows this?"

----------------

You tried to ignore the excitement you felt simply because Hongjoong had very casually invited you for a walk. You supposed that now that you were 'friends', you'd be hanging out more. Plus, it really looked like he needed someone like you right now- someone who could understand Hongjoong but understand the selected girls too, help him sort his thoughts out.

What you did not know was the thoughts that ran through Hongjoong's mind when he saw you at the broadcast room.

Hongjoong knew it was somewhat wrong, seeing how there were literally 22 girls who all dressed up for him, in absolutely beautiful gowns- and they did look beautiful. However, when you had walked in with your slicked back hair dressed in a suit... he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

He would never say it out loud- there was a goddamned Selection going on just for him. But you were stunning, you were funny, you knew more about how the palace and this country ran than any of the girls here, and Hongjoong had one question in his mind that he wanted to ask you tonight.

Now that part was tricky. He would have to remain as casual as possible, and he knew you were very clever and would realize if something was off too.

Hongjoong thought it was crazy- you two hadn't known each other for two long, but the way you clicked... he supposed you were just one of those people who he'd felt like he'd known forever. And even if you were going to be just friends, he really appreciated that.

He arrived in the garden first- or so he thought, until he saw you playing with a flower in a corner and he took in your appearance- you were still in your dress, only your heels changed.

Hongjoong had to shake his head- this was downright cruel. He was sure you didn't realize the effect you had on him tonight but maybe the deities did and they were punishing him for having these thoughts when 22 girls were waiting for him.

As if you'd notice him watching you, you turned to him, smiling and waving at him, unknown to the fact that he had been here and thinking about you. Hongjoong neared, taking a deep breath.

"Long night," he sighed, "You didn't change."

"Neither did you," you pointed out, and he looked down as if he hadn't realized.

"I was busy," he laughed, and you raised a brow.

"I was busy too."

"With what?"

"Just this and that," you sighed, "Helping Arin calm down after all the excitement, playing a game of cards with the maids. I didn't realize it was so late until I went to my room, and I wouldn't want to keep our busy prince waiting now, would I?"

"I love how you always find a way to mock me with my title," Hongjoong shook his head.

"So," you turned to him, beckoning him to walk and he did alongside you, "Is there a reason you called me for a walk?"

"Can't friends do that?" Hongjoong pouted.

"True," you shrugged, "How was tonight then? Like anyone?

"Well," Hongjoong took a long time to think, "Arin certainly did a great job. Kahi was a natural. The people love Nayoung. Byeol is well educated."

"I asked about who you liked," you gave him a pointed look, and laughed at how torn he looked, "Too early to ask?"

"Yes," Hongjoong sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I don't know if I like any of them like that. I don't feel a spark with anyone- maybe there's no such thing as a spark."

"There is," you assured him, and he raised a brow.

"Have you felt it?"

"I felt it, tonight," you smirked, watching his expressions change into confusion.

"Who, exactly, are you talking about?"

"Well, who do you think? Come on, it's easy. Who looked like a Prince tonight?"

"Me?" Hongjoong pointed at himself, and you laughed.

"I said looked like a Prince. It was Yeosang, of course. I can't believe how handsome he is! The camera really doesn't do justice to his beauty, and that's crazy because he looks so beautiful even on tv."

Hongjoong groaned, "Come on! Yeosang?"

"And why not?" You put your hands on your hips, "Can't a girl dream?"

"Sure. Dream along, I won't stop you," Hongjoong waved a hand in dismissal, "For a moment I thought there was a special someone back home."

"Nah," you smiled, shaking your head, "Never has been, and at this rate, never will be."

"Why? I think you're pretty fun to be around."

"You think that because you have no one to talk to and I'm your best option."

"Not at all," Hongjoong shook his head, "I know a lot of people. I'm not lying."

"Okay, let's accept that I'm fun and likable. I never liked anyone. Well, maybe if Yeosang would give me a chance..."

"I'll banish him if he looks at you funny," Hongjoong mumbled, making you snort in a very unladylike manner, "But I was wondering... did you enter the Selection?"

"Me?" You looked at him, and he nodded, "No, I didn't."

"Why?" Hongjoong asked, and you scanned his face.

"A number of reasons, but the main one being the lack of self confidence I have. The probability of getting picked, and then getting picked after the Selection... it's too little and too stressful. Why would I do that to myself? Also, I don't think I'm princess material."

"Well," Hongjoong began, "I can understand that you thought you didn't stand a chance, but I think... I think you would have done well."

"Oh, come on," you slapped his arm lightly, "Stop making fun of me."

Hongjoong grinned, and you shook your head. You'd just never fantasized about Hongjoong or being a princess. You were glad for Arin though, who had. Hongjoong was staring at you and you caught him.

"Would you have liked me to enter?" You wriggled your brows, and Hongjoong pretended to throw up, making you mutter a few curse words under your breath.

"Anyways," Hongjoong exhaled, "I'm thinking of announcing an elimination tomorrow. I've talked to every one of the girls. I don't want to keep hanging this matter."

"Ah, do take your time. It's your future, after all."

"Of course," he sighed, "Wife. Friend. Partner. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I hope to find it soon."

"Don't worry about the sparks, by the way," you said, "you should really get to know the girls. Sparks will come if you click with them and begin to like them."

"I suppose so," Hongjoong said.

"Can I ask you something?" You said after a moment, and he nodded, "Will I be going home tomorrow, with Arin?"

"Isn't this cheating?" Hongjoong asked, and you rolled your eyes.

"I'm not telling Arin. Come on, as a friend, I should know if I should sleep after packing my bags or not."

"Well, you're not going. I like Arin more than most of the girls there- she's easy to be with. Plus, I think I'll keep her anyway if it means I get to eat those scones and brownies anytime-"

"Prince Hongjoong, are you out of your mind-"

"I'm kidding!" Hongjoong laughed, "About the brownie part. Though I certainly wouldn't mind- I'm just saying that I'll keep Arin for now. And don't worry, if I decide to send her home, I'll let you know beforehand."

"Can you promise me one thing?" You said, and Hongjoong stopped as he looked at you. "Promise me that if you don't like Arin, you won't keep her hanging in here. You'll let her go. She's my best friend, and I don't want her to live here longer if she would be living in false hope."

"Does she really like me?" Hongjoong asked, and you shrugged.

"I'm still trying to figure that out- if she's still in her fantasy phase or if she genuinely likes you. But can you please consider her, despite the language barrier?"

"Of course, I am already," Hongjoong assured you.

"Thank you," you gave him a nod, "I know I shouldn't be asking this of you- you're the Prince, for heck's sake-"

"I'm just Hongjoong when I'm with you, so... you can ask anything."

You looked at him in gratitude, trying to ignore the way your heart flipped when you heard that. "Thank you. Should we go now? It's pretty late."

"We should," Hongjoong said, and his face twisted into surprise when you tucked the little flower you had been playing with in his hair over his ear.

"You look pretty," you laughed, beginning to walk back.

"Hey," Hongjoong said, and you turned, "I don't think I told you... but you looked really beautiful tonight."

"Me?" You pointed at yourself, making him laugh a bit as he nodded.

"Yes, you. I like this look on you. I mean it."

You made an impressed face as you playfully ran your hands over your hair as if to slick them back, making him laugh before saying bye and taking off.

As you lay in bed, you tried to ignore the fact that he'd call everyone pretty in the hall just a few hours ago, but-

He'd called you beautiful. And he had said that he meant it.

You wondered what life would have been like if you had entered the Selection, and wondered if you were better off like this.

------------------

The next few days were the busiest days you'd all seen so far- with the royal family of Halaland visiting Wonderland, it was all hustle and bustle in the palace, and you'd think the palace had months to prepare as they set the tents, as decoration was done and champagne of the highest quality was brought out from the cellars.

You'd all learn that the royals of Halaland were easy to offend, so the selected girls especially had to be super careful with their etiquettes and manners, but they were no boomers as well and loved to enjoy so you had to charm them. Natural charmers like Kahi and a few other girls were pretty relaxed compared to girls like Sohee and Wonyoung who were naturally shy and reserved.

As for Arin... she was both nervous but also confident now that everyone including Hongjoong had praised her for her natural charms, and you were glad she finally understood that she just needed to be herself.

This time, you had to give up wearing the suit, since it was a very formal event, and your maids came up with the brilliant idea combining the elegance of a suit with a dress- a sheath surplice neck asymmetrical dress with sleeves that reached a bit below your elbows, the length of it just above your knees. You felt strangely exposed after wearing suits and pants for so long, but you couldn't deny you felt good- the pale mauve colour of it seeming more purple when you shifted in the light- you couldn't help but admire the dress.

"You guys always outdo yourselves," you breathed as you looked at yourself in the mirror, paired with heels of the same colour, "How did you even come up with this colour? It's so nice!"

"Wait till you see Arin," Momo smiled, "She'll look different tonight- we've had enough of her innocent looks."

"Ooh," you raised a brow, "I'm looking forward to that."

"Come on, let me do your hair," Mina made you sit, tying your hair in a loose bun with messy curls falling, pearls in your hair, a pearl bracelet the only accessory you would be wearing tonight apart from your usual diamond studs.

"Dressing you up feels like you're one of the Selected too," Sana smiled as she patted your arm.

"Even I start to feel like it- you guys do too much to me, it's really unnecessary."

"Please, where's the fun if you hang beside Arin looking as plain as a mouse? Everyone deserves to look stylish."

You shook your head, the maids taking you to Arin's room who was already done getting ready before you, and you audibly gasped when you saw her in the midnight black off-shoulder dress with a silver belt on the waist, shimmery stars growing more as you looked down, her hair left straight and open, pinned at one side, her eyes bold and smokey.

"Now, now," you scanned her up and down, "Who is this? I don't think I recognize this sexy lady."

"Shut up," Arin laughed, "Is it too much?"

"I think it's perfect. Hongjoong won't be able to look away from you after this. And if he does, I'll assume he's blind."

Arin smiled half-heartedly, and you assumed she was nervous, asking her if she was feeling okay.

"Let's just go, I need to go over the things with the girls too," Arin said.

You reached the great hall where some of the girls were already there, and the way they gasped when Arin came, hugging her and complimenting her, you felt a little teary eyed. After every elimination, the remaining girls seemed to get closer too despite the growing competition, and now that Hongjoong had eliminated 6 more girls, they were down to 16.

"You look wonderful too, I'm glad I'm seeing you in something that is not a suit," Nayoung scoffed, and you scoffed back playfully.

"Ladies!" Sophie came hurriedly, dragging all the girls to the entrance so they could receive the guests, "Remember- chins up, backs straight, and don't forget to smile."

The girls stood in two rows, in front of each other. The sounds of laughter and chatter grew stronger with every passing minute, and you stood on your tiptoes to peek at the guests, noticing Arin doing the same, and you poked her from the back.

"Stand straight, miss," you ordered, and she gave you a guilty smile.

The ladies and the gents started to enter, all in the most elegant dresses you'd ever seen, mostly shades of blue and blacks, the girls all greeting with hugs and kisses, getting compliments with a smile. It seemed that the royal family of Halaland was very interested in the Selection.

As the guests dispersed, greeting the queen who looked regal in her own black gown, the king and Hongjoong were at the farthest corner of the hall, and the girls all dispersed around him, hoping to catch Hongjoong's eye.

You and Arin stood by the table, you sipping on the champagne which tasted as expensive as it must be, while Arin was looking around nervously.

"Go ahead," you told her, "I think you're good enough in Korean to have a basic conversation. Or should I tag along?"

"You should, just in case. I don't wanna embarrass myself," Arin pouted.

"Arin, honey, you're adorably sexy today and if you fumble a bit with words, that would only add to your charm tonight. I'll tag along, lead the way, wherever you wanna go."

Arin grinned as she led the way, the two of you walking around until one of the younger guests, who you assumed was the Princess of Halaland approached Arin.

"It's so good to see you in person," she said in English and took Arin's hand, "You're my pick, just so you know."

Arin gasped, "Really? Thank you!"

"You're cute," she grinned, looking at you, "And you're definitely doing a great job since she's still here."

"Thank you, your Highness," you bowed.

"Call me Miyeon," she said to the two of you, "Should I put in a good word for you with Hongjoong?"

"Thank you, but I think Hongjoong should like me without anyone telling him to," Arin smiled.

"That's wise," Miyeon grinned, "Do you like Hongjoong?"

"I was more of a fan before the Selection, but I'm trying to really get to know him and how the palace works."

"See?" Miyeon looked at you, "I had a reason I picked her."

You gleamed at Arin, "See? You're doing great, Arin."

Arin laughed, and Miyeon told you she could take it from here, that she wanted to get to know Arin and would introduce her to the royal family. You thanked her, and though Arin looked nervous, you told her it was a great opportunity to interact with everyone with you not by her side, and Arin reluctantly but happily went with Miyeon.

You watched the two of them go away like a proud mother, going back to sipping your champagne, watching the girls interact with Hongjoong one by one too, Hongjoong all polite smiles.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A deep voice sounded, and you looked at the source- a tall boy around your age with a sharp face and even sharper eyes.

"Just observing," you said, "And you are?"

"Prince San of Halaland," he bowed, and you gasped, curtsying and apologizing for not recognizing him.

"I'm not one of the Selected girls, by the way, in case you want to interact with them."

"Oh no, why would I want to interact with the ladies who are only interested in Prince Hongjoong?" Prince San grinned, making you shrug as you smiled, "I saw you on the TV, you know. With Miss Arin. My sister Miyeon is crazy about her, and with the amount of times she watched her clips in front of me..."

"Ah, is that so?" You couldn't help but grin at that as you looked at Miyeon and Arin talking like long lost best friends, "They do look like they have been apart for too long now."

"Indeed," San huffed as he put his pockets and shook his head at the way his sister was chatting with Arin, all laughs and giggles, "How's job as a translator?"

"I'm actually Arin's best friend before translator, so I'm good," you told him, offering him a glass which he took, "And what brings the Prince to a measly translator?"

"Well," Prince San looked at you as he drank, "This mere old Prince wanted a break from girls in frills."

You scoffed, "I could have been in frills tonight too."

"And I still would have approached you," his gaze was... flirty. You raised a brow, and he laughed.

"I'm saying I could use good company," Prince San said as he scanned you up and down, and you suddenly felt uncomfortable-

"Prince San," a familiar voice sounded and you almost sighed in relief when you saw Hongjoong, "Long time."

"Long time," Prince San hugged him, "How's the Selection treating you?"

"I don't even know how it's treating me," Hongjoong said, finally looking at you and smiling, "You're alone."

"Arin was snatched by my sister," Prince San put a hand up as in surrender, "She's a bit of a fan of hers."

"Ah, I forgot you both were fluent in English. It's good for her to hang out without a translator for once," Hongjoong looked at you.

"Definitely, I had to push her, but she really needed this," you smiled.

"Well, you've got eyes, Prince San," Hongjoong pointed to a group of older ladies calling him over, and he rolled his eyes, muttering a bye before taking off.

"What did he want?" Hongjoong asked you, and you raised a brow at his tone.

"Nothing, he was just talking."

"Be careful of him- he loves to talk to people and then use them for 'distraction'," Hongjoong sighed, and you nodded- you'd got that vibe from him too, "Anyways, I never thought I'd see you in a dress."

You rolled your eyes, "It had to happen one day."

"I'm not complaining, you look as beautiful as always," Hongjoong said.

"Well, thanks, I guess. It's definitely a change I needed tonight- I think it would have been odd wearing a suit tonight, no one's wearing one."

"Exactly," Hongjoong nodded, "Can we see you in a skirt next time?"

"Stop teasing me," you almost slapped his arm, remembering you were very much in public, "Don't you have other girls to go to and tell them they look beautiful or something?"

"No," Hongjoong smiled distantly, and you frowned.

"Hello, you're still in the Selection. Go. The girls are literally waiting for you to notice them, and do compliment everyone at least. They all probably spent the whole day dressing up for you."

"Ugh, it's so pressurizing!" Hongjoong waved dramatically, and this time, you did push him forward, sending him laughing as he walked away to the nearest girl, who eagerly snaked her arm in his.

The rest of the event was mostly boring for you, making small talk with anyone who came to greet you, trying to avoid Prince San, and running into Hongjoong again, who said he needed to charge himself for at least two days after this event. Food was served and you finally sat with Arin and Miyeon as you ate, mostly listening to their conversation, adding a joke or two in between.

The night was still young, and you needed to take a breather. Telling Arin you'd be back, you went to freshen up a bit, deciding to go outside and take a breath of that chilly fresh air. You took a turn and nearly bumped into someone-

That someone being Hongjoong, your faces incredibly close as you both took ahold of your footing, finally breathing when you stepped away.

"Careful when you walk, we could have crashed rather painfully."

"What's got you in a rush?" You asked as you tried to calm your beating heart.

"Nothing, just coming back after taking a breather," he ran a hand through his hair, "I guess you're in need of one too."

"Absolutely," you said, "See you around, Prince."

With that, you took off into the night, leaving Hongjoong staring at your back for a good minute before he shook his head and walked back inside.

The rest of the night was as uneventful as it could be, Arin and Miyeon engaged in a heated conversation and you couldn't help but smile at the two- good for Arin. She had little to no conversation with the selected girls and you really liked that she was talking to someone finally.

As for Prince San, he kept coming back to you after every half an hour, apologizing for making you feel uncomfortable, saying he just wanted good company since he would be here for three days. So you accepted, the two of you finding yourself talking about anything and everything, from childhood stories to habits.

"Don't tell anyone, but I really adore cats," he smiled.

"That's surprising, but nothing to be ashamed of. You should tell everyone this, in fact. Don't you have pet cats? If I were you I would have opened my palace gates for all cats."

"Miyeon's allergic, so I can't do that," he sighed, looking at Miyeon and smiling warmly.

"You two seem close."

"We're practically best friends. We tell each other everything."

"That's sweet," you smiled, "What do you do other than performing your princely duties though?"

"Well, I like working out. I like to play with my cats- stray cats, in the garden. I also like to sing in the shower."

"You should hold a shower concert sometime, your cats could be your audience," you said, and he laughed out loud, putting his hand over his face- a habit of his. "Also, I have a question- I'm curious about something."

"Ask away."

"Do you and Miyeon have as much responsibility as Hongjoong, or is it less of a burden to you?"

"It's definitely less, my elder sister is in line for the throne. In fact, don't tell anyone, but we were considering their marriage before the Selection."

You gasped, "Really? Did they know each other or like each other?"

"They know each other, but not really- they've only met twice or thrice. But considering how things are in this kingdom, we decided against the unison of our kingdoms."

"Ah, so it just happened."

"I think it's sad," San shook his head, "I can't imagine marrying someone I don't know or like. I can't imagine having a Selection either- I don't know how he's handling it."

"I know. I think it's sad that he doesn't have the freedom to date and explore. What if he doesn't like any one of them?"

"Let's pray he does," San said.

-----------------

The next day was chaotic, to put it lightly.

Kahi had basically announced that she and Hongjoong had kissed last night. Nayoung admitted that she had kissed him a few days ago too.

The reactions ranged from jealousy to anger to curiosity- what was it like? Who kissed first? How did it feel?

You supposed it was bound to happen sooner or later, though you were a bit disappointed in the obvious choices- Nayoung being the palace star and Kahi being people's favourite.

However, you were more surprised when you conveyed all of this to Arin and she showed little reaction.

"Did you already know?" You asked.

"I didn't," she admitted, saying nothing, but you didn't spot disappointment on her face either, so you shrugged it off.

Arin told you that she would be spending more time with Miyeon since she was here for only two more days, offering you to join but you turned it down. You didn't want to be the third-wheel and you really wanted her to talk to someone else as well. You were glad that she had a friend now.

You went to Arin's room, chatting with Momo, Mina and Sana, catching up with palace gossip such as what the selected were up to, who was whose favourite, etc. After a game of cards, you went to your room and slumped on your bed, wondering if it was time to finally visit your parent's room.

You were still conflicted, but you decided to go to the kitchen and steal something while you would decide.

However, you were surprised with the sight of Hongjoong sitting by himself in a corner, watching the brownies in the oven bake, the rest of the kitchen busy with their own work, paying no heed to the Prince.

"How long has he been coming over?" You asked a woman you knew was the assistant chef.

"Every other day, basically. Sometimes he eats, sometimes he just watches us, poor thing," she waved her hand in a motherly nature.

As if Hongjoong had felt your stare, he turned, his face lighting at the sight of you as he patted the spot next to him.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have a kingdom to run or girls to kiss?"

You cringed a bit, wondering if you sounded jealous, but he just put his face in his hands, clearly ashamed. "I guess everyone knows now."

"Well, it was bound to happen," you shrugged.

"I didn't mean to. With Nayoung... she kissed me at our date. And Kahi... I was really frustrated and- ugh, I feel ashamed."

You grinned, "No need to. You can kiss whoever you like."

Hongjoong clapped when the oven went off, and you got up to take the brownies out, placing them on the table you sat.

"Enough about that, why are you here?"

You sighed, "I was wondering if I had grown the balls to visit my parent's room."

Hongjoong choked on his brownie, muttering 'language'. "Do you want me to come with you?"

You looked at him, wondering if that was what you needed. Someone to be with you. Someone who knew.

"I don't know... I don't know if I am ready."

"Well, if you're here, you're ready," he told you, "Let's go after eating."

You watched him eat his brownie as he gazed at the rest dreamily. You wondered how you two had become so comfortable with each other- to the point you'd forget he was the Prince. Hongjoong caught you staring.

"What are you looking at?"

"You, obviously," you scoffed, shrugging awkwardly as you took a bite, "Just wondering how we got... here."

"I know," Hongjoong smiled, "I didn't expect a friend out of the Selection."

After eating another brownie, Hongjoong told you to wait while he got the keys from Sophie, and you sat trying to muster up your courage.

You were finally going to go to their room and not find them there, only their belongings left. You didn't know what to expect.

Hongjoong led you to the other side of the palace, stopping in front of a room you assumed was your parents. "If you really feel like not going in, I understand."

You shook your head, "Rather go in then turn around from here."

He smiled, putting in the key and turning, opening the door.

The first thing you noticed was the sunlight illuminating the white sheets on the bed, and it looked like someone had packed their belongings. You stepped in, Hongjoong behind you, turning once.

"This doesn't feel like their room anymore- everything's packed."

"Your mom's friend packed the stuff. Do you want me to leave while you look at it?"

"No- you can stay," you told him, and he took a seat, you bringing a box to the seat next to his, opening it to find your dad's clothes.

One by one, you opened the boxes- clothes, personal belongings, a few of their favourite books, and then you found a few pictures- pictures of you, pictures you had never seen. You didn't even remember half of the moments.

"You were cuter when you were little," Hongjoong laughed as he saw one of your pre-teen years.

"I admit that I was," you smiled, finding a photo album and flipping through it, Hongjoong bringing his seat closer.

You didn't realize you were crying until your tears fell on the album, and you hastily wiped your eyes, holding back a sob but failing when Hongjoong put a comforting hand on your back.

"It just... feels real, now that I'm in their room alone without them. They'd never let me come here alone," you smiled sadly.

"It's okay, let it out," Hongjoong rubbed your back as you sniffed, bursting in a sob and holding your face in your hands, Hongjoong's arm wrapping around you as he held you.

You really felt their absence now. You'd grown up away from your parents, but this was the one place you'd always be with your parents, with your dad's funny face as he cracked jokes while your mom would scold you both for being too loud.

Hongjoong handed you his handkerchief and you wiped your eyes and nose, apologizing for being a mess.

"It's okay, really," he said, "I know it's hitting now that you're here."

You nodded, another stream of tear escaping your eyes, and Hongjoong's heart ached- he had always seen you with a smile or a smirk on your face. He couldn't bear to see your eyes full of tears, pain evident on your face. He didn't realize what he was doing- he brought his hand to your face, cupping it as he wiped your tears, kissing your cheek once, drawing back rather slowly and you looked at him.

It was as if time stilled- his hand remained on your face, fingers unmoving, while the two of you stared at each other. You were the first to draw away from your trance, muttering a sorry, looking away awkwardly, staring at the distance as you wiped your face.

"Do you want to take some of these to your room?" He asked, getting up, "We can make a box and you can take that."

"That's actually a good idea," you got up, putting all the pictures and photo albums in a separate box, some of your mom's jewellery, your dad's favourite books, and then you were done. You noticed Hongjoong smiling at a picture.

"What are you looking at?"

"I think this is the most recent one," he waved it at you- he was right. It was from the time they visited your home, a candid picture of you where you were out in the sun with a hand in front of your face to block the light. Your mom was always clicking such random pictures of you. "I'm keeping this."

"You are not," you glared at him, coming forward to snatch it away from him but he only stepped back, holding it in the air, smirking playfully.

"I'm gonna frame it and keep it in my room, caption it, 'the only time she looked normal'- hey!"

Hongjoong was startled when you jumped, holding on his shoulder for support, but he took another step back, which was a mistake, and he ended up loosing his footing, his free arm automatically going around your waist for support, but he ended up falling back- thankfully on the bed-

And you on top of him.

You groaned loudly, getting up a bit and laughing loudly when you snatched the picture from him, waving it in front of his face in victory.

But he wasn't having any of that- and he really wanted to wipe the smirk off your face. He brought you closer- dangerously close- and you realized only then the position that you were in, your eyes going wide.

"You're giving me that photo back," his voice was hoarse, expressions smug.

You shook your head, putting your hand behind you, only one hand holding you up for support.

Hongjoong shook his head, muttering 'you're gonna make me regret this' as he pushed himself up and caught your lips in his, kissing you rather furiously, swallowing your surprised moan, his hand tightening around your waist as one hand snaked up your face.

He wasn't even giving you time to think or breathe as he moved his lips along yours, and you didn't realize you were responding to the kiss until you heard his own satisfied moan, your hand on his shoulder now squeezing it unconsciously, because this was wrong, this shouldn't be happening, but you didn't care in that moment, those thoughts being pushed out and out-

Hongjoong snatched the photo from you, and you thought he'd stop, but his hand went to the back of your head, guiding you along better, pushing into you until you both had switched position, your back arched very low.

You had to break apart for breath, your foreheads still joined as you both tried to catch your breath and you couldn't help but sigh at how out of breath you both were. His arms stayed around you as he drew apart, out of words as you stared at each other.

You shook your head, "All this for one photo?"

"I'm definitely framing it," he muttered.

You exhaled, licking your lips as your gaze fell on his, and you finally came to your senses, getting up and away from his warm embrace, suddenly feeling cold.

Hongjoong cleared his throat as he straightened himself, and you picked the box, awkwardly standing in the middle of the room.

"This was definitely only because you wanted to distract me and snatch the photo, right? Because you're in a goddamn Selection, Prince Hongjoong, and Arin is my best friend and I could never do this to her."

He felt his heart twist, but he nodded, "Definitely."

The two of you knew you weren't being honest. But you decided to ignore it for now. "Let's go then. I'll be taking this to my room."

"Alright," he said, motioning you to go forward, locking the room back. As he walked you to the chamber where the girls and you were staying, he told you he was gonna go to his room.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"That was... just how many girls have you kissed?"

Hongjoong realized you basically meant he was a pro, and he threw his head back as he laughed, making you laugh as well, the ice breaking for now. "I'm not that experienced!"

You made a face that said that you were not having any of it. "Liar."

"Believe it or not, before the Selection, I've only kissed twice," he admitted, and you gasped.

"I guess you're a natural. Let's forget about this, okay? Stay focused, Prince! 16 girls waiting for your response, and I'm not one of them."

Hongjoong saluted, going back to his room- once he was inside, he slumped down with his face in his hands.

He was glad you were cool and things hadn't messed up indefinitely, but...

One thing he was sure of was that he'd never felt anything like this in his life before- and he wanted more. He wasn't sure if he could forget this.

------------------

You knew you were never going to look at Hongjoong the same way again.

Something had inevitably changed between the two of you, and though you were trying not to think of it, you were now aware of him, more than ever. And though Hongjoong was an excellent actor, you could see that he was a bit awkward too.

But maybe you two only needed time to forget that.

What you did not know was that Hongjoong was trying to forget about it, he really was. And he was busying himself in more work than usual, trying to interact with the Selected girls more, another broadcast taking place as well.

With Arin hanging out with Miyeon, you didn't have anyone to talk to- but you were scared to face Arin after that. If Arin really liked Hongjoong and was serious about it (of course she did, there were no ifs!), you had messed up. Your friendship with Arin was worth so much to you and you couldn't ruin it.

With Hongjoong busy, you spent most of the time in your room or with San- who was surprisingly very easy to talk to. You two had a lot in common, in fact, which created a very comfortable bond between you two.

You sat with San near the pond, the two of you glum as you tossed pebbles in the pond. If anyone would see you two, they'd think you'd lost a war- the amount of sighs you two were breathing were too much.

"What's got you so down?" You finally asked, "I thought you were enjoying your stay."

"I was, and I'm not ready to go back to my normal life. I need a break so bad," San sighed, looking up at the sky wistfully.

"Ah... I can't imagine going back to my normal life either now," you could relate to him- even though it had been only three days for him, he must have been needing this breather.

"I'm sure Miyeon must be crying right now, in Arin's arms," he grinned.

"You wanna cry too? I'll join," you laughed, and San shook his head.

"Why do you wanna cry?" San looked at you, and you pursed your lips.

"You ever do something that you regret?" You asked, and he scoffed.

"If there was one thing-"

"No, like," you turned to him, "It wasn't your fault. But somehow... you got involved. And it was a bad decision- there is too much at stake. And you regret that- nothing's damaged yet, but you can't forget it either."

San narrowed his eyes at you, "Is this what I think it is?"

"I don't know what you think it is, but it's not that, and no, I don't even want to hear what you think it is-"

San burst out laughing, shaking his head as he looked at you, clicking his tongue at you. "Does this involve Hongjoong?"

You opened your mouth to say no, but his eyes said he had you, and you shut your mouth. "Why do you think this involves Hongjoong?"

"I've seen the way he looks at you- and don't tell me I'm wrong. I know a man's gaze and what it means."

You bit your lip, turning your face away from him. What was going on? Was San right about this?

"Something happened between you two?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," you muttered, and San patted your back.

"There are some things in life we cannot change. But... I think we should be able to make our decisions without caring about someone else. You know what I mean? Sometimes we should put ourselves first, if the risk is worth it."

"I really don't understand what you're saying, and this... sober talking doesn't suit you at all, San."

San slapped your arm, "One day my words are gonna make sense to you. 'til then... Let's forget about this, eh?"

You glared at him, nodding as he smiled, pinching your cheek. "You're cute. I'm gonna miss you when I go back. You should visit Halaland with Arin soon- promise me."

"No promises," you huffed, and San started whining, making you cringe away and laugh as you promised.

"I don't understand what's so Princely about you. If anyone saw you whining like a little- can I curse?" San nodded and you did, "They'd strip you of your title."

"Come on, just because I'm a Prince doesn't mean I can be a little brat- and yes, I'm censoring it. You're too harsh."

"I'm stating facts-"

You heard a rustle, and the two of you frowned as you looked at the source of the sound.

It was Miyeon and Arin, hand in hand as they giggled in low voices, walking along the footpath. You almost got up to say hi, but San held you by your arm, putting a finger to his mouth as he shook his head, and you frowned, not understanding why-

You looked at Arin and Miyeon- they were too close. Miyeon was rubbing Arin's hand almost lovingly, but-

"They like each other- or so Miyeon says."

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you looked at San, then at the disappearing figure of the two, then back at San.

"Like each other? As in?"

"You know what I'm saying," San looked grim, "They like each other... and they kissed. I told her to be careful- if Arin gets caught now... she'd have to face a serious punishment."

You felt as if you were drowning as the words from the set of rules rang in your head: if any of the Selected are caught in a romantic relationship with someone else during that period, it would be considered treason and be punishable by death.

"But... they only met 3 days ago!" You frowned- it didn't make sense.

"3 days is enough to fall in love," San's tone was serious, "And you know how they clicked right away. Don't tell me you didn't know about Arin's preferences."

"She never talked to me about that," you put a hand on your head, trying to make sense of everything, "I don't know why, but... San, she was serious about this Selection. She was practically in love with Hongjoong."

"She only knew Hongjoong from afar, she was a fan. Her heart could have changed with or without Miyeon being here."

"But... this doesn't make sense, I need a minute to think," you stared at the pond as you thought about it- how Arin hadn't been too excited these days. How she hadn't seem disappointed when she had discovered that Hongjoong had kissed the other girls. How she wasn't even waiting for a date anymore, too busy since Miyeon came.

"I know it must be hard to digest- I was surprised too. This is a first for Miyeon too."

"Really?" You looked at him and he nodded, "I guess... whatever makes them happy. That means Arin would have to get dismissed from the Selection without anyone knowing what was going on. Shouldn't they be more careful?"

"It's not like they're doing anything right now," San chuckled, "It's just them finding themselves right now. They decided to wait- Arin is gonna go on with the Selection and see what she really wants. Miyeon would spend time away from her- maybe everything will change. Maybe it's just the heat of the moment. We should give them time and space to think."

"I'm kinda hurt that Arin hasn't told me anything yet," you admitted, "Miyeon told you everything?"

"She really wanted to think this through. So much could go wrong, even for her. She's a Princess. There's much to consider."

You shook your head, "Everything is so messed up."

"But it's beautifully messed up," San smiled.

And two days later, it was time for an elimination.

You wondered if Hongjoong would dismiss Arin- he had gone on another date with her last night, but not much had happened- the two had walked, you following beside, and he'd just asked Arin about her hobbies, her life before Selection, getting to know her.

If Arin was dismissed today, you'd be going home along with her. There were more girls who were confident that they'd stay today than girls who weren't.

Hongjoong entered after breakfast, scanning the girls once, his eyes falling on you for a second longer before he drew away. "Ladies, I hoped you slept well last night. Today is the inevitable elimination- only 8 of you will be staying."

The girls gasped- they hadn't expected it to cut to half already. "I'll be announcing those who are staying now."

He started calling the names- and Arin squeezed your hand out of nervousness, you squeezing back as you heard the satisfied gasps and the sobs that rang through the room.

The last name he called was Arin's- and you looked at him in surprise, finding him looking at you instead of Arin. Arin only sighed, slumping in her seat.

"I'm sorry to all those who were dismissed- I hope you live a happier, healthier life from this point on. If you have anything you want to say or ask, you can meet me in the Men's Room."

With that, he took off, leaving the 8 eliminated girls sobbing, and you couldn't help but sigh in relief- wondering what your sigh meant. Were you happy for Arin or relieved that you weren't going home?

That night, you went to the garden, not surprised when Hongjoong arrived an hour later, sighing when he saw you, sitting down with you on the bench.

"You've been busy," you smiled.

"I really wanted to talk to all of them once more before the elimination, just to be sure," he said.

"And? Feeling any sparks yet?"

"Not really," he looked down, the silver tendrils of his hair falling down on his forehead, and you admired his side profile- he really had the most unique nose you'd seen on a person- "I don't know what to do anymore."

"What do you mean?" You frowned as he looked at you, his eyes full of worry.

"In the next elimination I'm supposed to cut this down to 3. I don't think I like anyone more than the others- I really don't feel anything for them. This Selection was a bad idea- the rebels won't calm down just because I get married. They've tried attacking again, two days ago, but they couldn't enter. I don't want to end up choosing someone because she's someone's favourite- the king's, or the queen's, or the people's. I don't want to live with someone I don't love."

"I understand, Hongjoong," you put a hand on his back, "It's hard, I get it. But... I don't think you can back out of this now. You're a Prince, Hongjoong. There are so many people looking forward to this, waiting for your decision-"

"I didn't expect you to say that- you really don't understand," Hongjoong shook his head in frustration, "I think... I don't think I like any of the Selected. I like you. I want you, not them. They don't know me like you do- and I don't feel comfortable with them like I do with you."

You almost sobbed- your heart absolutely ached at his words. "Hongjoong, this isn't about us, please. I shouldn't even have been here. If I wasn't here, you would have proceeded normally with the Selection and found someone you actually liked- you probably only like me because I'm not one of them-"

"No. I like you because you're you. If you were in the Selection, I would have chosen you. If you were one of the Selected... I would have ended it today."

"Hongjoong, think again- you're the Prince. You can't be selfish-"

"Just tell me- tell me you like me too. If you do, nothing else matters," he locked his eyes with you, pain evident in them as he waited expectantly for an answer, his hand on top of yours squeezing it unconsciously.

You wanted nothing more than to lose yourself in the moment, but you had to be rational, "Hongjoong, this really isn't about you and me. This is about the future Princess, who one day will be Queen. Who'll share the burden of your kingdom. I can only be your friend- I don't think I can be more."

Hongjoong's face fell, and he sighed as he looked at the sky, his hand still on yours. "Would it have been different if you had entered the Selection? Or if... if I wasn't the Prince?"

"I don't know. But Hongjoong... we've only kissed once. Please forget about that and focus on what's important. It was just in the heat of the moment, okay? You're confused- all this pressure with the Selection is making you look at me. Maybe we shouldn't even hang out anymore-"

"No- that would make it worse, I know that," he finally took his hand off yours, "Just tell me one thing. Promise me you won't lie."

You narrowed your eyes at him but his eyes were firm- he was serious. "Okay."

"No lies. Just a plain answer. A yes or no. I promise to go back to the Selection, I'll properly think this through, I promise, just don't lie."

"Okay," you laughed nervously, "What is it?"

"When we kissed... you felt something, didn't you? You still do, and you did before we kissed. Is that right?"

You scanned his face- his eyes were holding your gaze as if he could tell if you would lie. You pursed your lips, wondering how you should say it-

"Your silence says enough," a slow smile creeped up his face, "You don't need to say it. It's plain as day on your face."

"You could be imagining it, you know. You could be wrong."

Hongjoong looked at you, tucking your hair behind your ear as he patted your cheek. "I don't think I'm wrong about this, dear."

-----------------

As promised, Hongjoong spent more time with the girls, going on dates and actually talking to them and getting to know the 8. Arin had another date where the two played table tennis, and you only sat back and watched, because god, you sucked at table tennis and you'd only make a scene if you tried.

After that date, Arin told you she wanted to sleep in your room tonight, and you internally smirked, wondering if she was finally going to tell you everything.

"I really don't like Hongjoong that way," she finally admitted, "And I'm sure Hongjoong doesn't like me either."

You pursed your lips, and she narrowed her eyes, "Did you suspect that already?"

"Of course I did, I'm your best friend, Arin. I saw how your interest in him kept going downfall."

"I don't even know why he decided to keep me. Perhaps he wanted to give me a chance because of the language barrier. Anyways, I'm not wife material- I can't do this. I'll just wait for the next elimination."

"Is your heart somewhere else, Miss?" You tested the waters, watching Arin's cheeks go red- it always gave her away.

"Actually, it is," she admitted, and you gasped dramatically, putting a hand over your mouth, "I'll tell you once I'm out- I want to properly introduce her to you."

"Her?" You wriggled your brows, and it was her turn to gasp, "You know?"

"San may have told me."

"San?" Arin wriggled her brows, but you laughed and shook it off, "Nothing as juicy as your story, Arin. It's best we don't talk about it here. Let's just wait to go home."

"Should I, I don't know, disappoint Hongjoong and speed it up?"

"No!" You slapped Arin's arm, "Poor guy already has it tough!"

The two of you burst into giggles, but almost screamed when the door opened loudly and a guard stepped inside.

"Rebels are inside- please follow me," he went to the right corner of the room, clicking behind a frame and opening a doorway, "Inside, now. Follow the tunnel and you'll find yourself in the room with the King and Queen and the rest of the girls."

You felt your heart sink, wondering if Hongjoong was safe, and you and Arin made your way down the dark tunnel, you leading the way, one hand in Arin's and the other feeling the tunnel out, following the dim light until it grew and you were in the large hall with the Queen huddled beside the King, only 3 girls inside so far, trembling with fear, and Arin joined them, comforting them as best as she could.

You asked one of the guards about the Prince's whereabouts and he told you he was making sure the girls were coming here before he would join, and you felt your heart fill with pride- he was really out there making sure everyone of them was safe.

It took another very long 15 minutes until one by one the girls came, Hongjoong coming in last. Some of the girls were shaken so bad that they seemed numb. Hongjoong stood beside you, staring at them as he caught his breath.

"It was an ugly fight out there- these girls witnessed it. They want to go home as soon as this is over."

"Oh," you bit your lip, "What do the rebels want, Hongjoong?"

"They probably want to overthrow us, like every other rebel in every other country. They are not ready to accept that Wonderers and Utopians could be one."

The Queen called Hongjoong over, and Hongjoong looked at you, "Come over- I should introduce you to mom and dad."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. Now is the time they miss them the most."

He took you to them, and you awkwardly stood and bowed as Hongjoong told them whose daughter you were. The King smiled, saying the resemblance was uncanny, and the Queen smiled warmly at you as well, "I miss Mira the most these days. She would have had so much fun with the Selection."

"It's an honour to me that you remember my parents," you said, and they laughed as they shook a hand in dismissal.

"Your father was a fine man," the King smiled, "His sacrifice means a lot to us. We miss the two dearly, and you... You are welcome in this Palace anytime. I heard how you and my son are friends now."

You looked at Hongjoong and he grinned, "Mom was making fun of me, saying I finally made the friend that I should have made some 20 years ago."

You laughed, shaking your head as you went back to where Arin was sitting, and she put her hands on her hips.

"You, miss, have something going on with Hongjoong."

"I have nothing," you said, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you? He's never looked at one of us this way," she said, referring to the Selected, "I say you've won his heart."

"Shut up, Arin, he's the Prince. I'm no one. I'm only his friend, that's it."

"Whatever you say, I can't hear this bullshit. You're both either blind as hell or stupid as fuck."

"Arin!" You widened your eyes at her language, "Etiquettes!"

She only grinned, silly dancing and you wished you could wipe that smug look off her face. But she had caught you red-handed. and you couldn't deny it now, it was too late.

You watched Hongjoong comfort the girls one by one. He really was better off with one of them, not you. You weren't princess material. You were only... you. Simple you who was only good at translating and being a friend. You couldn't allow yourself to hope, you couldn't mess everything- the whole kingdom was hanging on the Selection and who the future princess would be. You didn't want to create a mess.

You couldn't allow yourself the luxury of thinking that you could be Hongjoong's, because really, before anything else... He was too good for you. You didn't deserve him.

By the next night, 4 girls had gone home, leaving only 4- Arin, Kahi, Nayoung and Sohee. Sophie had announced that Hongjoong would make his decision and propose his choice on the live broadcast in a week from now, and now that the end was real, you found yourself more anxious than ever, and as you were making your way back to your room, you almost bumped into Hongjoong.

"Whoa, careful there," he looked at you, frowning when he saw your face etched with worry, "Something wrong?"

"No, just tired," you shrugged it off, and Hongjoong scanned your face.

"You wanna hang out tonight? Help the poor Prince relieve some stress?"

"Sure, poor Prince," you grinned, going to your room.

Before you could go down to the garden though, you heard a knock. You were still in your navy blue suit, your tie a bit loose, and you thought it was Arin coming to ask you something, but when you opened the door-

It was Hongjoong.

He scanned your figure rather slowly, taking in the loose messy hair and tie, and god, he would never get tired of seeing you in suits.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, your heart sinking at the way he was looking at you.

"I just thought I'd come by and surprise you," he laughed, "and you're very surprised."

"I am," you laughed a little, allowing him to enter, "What's up?"

"I just had a meeting with everyone regarding the Selection, he slumped on your couch and you sat beside him, shifting so you faced him, "They think Kahi might be the better choice."

"Thought so," you muttered, and he laughed at the annoyance in your tone, "She's the obvious choice. Do you like her?"

"Honestly? She's okay. Tolerable. She just goes along with whatever I say. She doesn't fight back, just accepts whatever I say or give. I think she just wants to end up with me because of her strong family connection and because she could be a 'Princess'."

"Ah, here for the title, and to please you while she bathes in the royal treasure," you giggled, "Somehow, I can picture that."

"Right! I can too," he scoffed.

"But that's what everyone thinks- what do you think?"

Hongjoong bit his lips, folding his hands, "I... I don't know. Not Kahi. Not Nayooung. Not Sohee and not Arin either. I mean, I could pick anyone, but I don't think I'll ever truly be myself with them."

"That's... maybe you will, Hongjoong. It might take some time, but eventually, you'll be comfortable with them. You'll find the happiness you deserve, Hongjoong."

"I think I don't deserve happiness," he sighed, turning to look at you, "Maybe I'm damned. I don't know why I'm going through this- mom and dad had a chance and they fell in love. They didn't need a damned Selection. Why am I going through this?"

You frowned, "What's really bothering you, Hongjoong?"

Hongjoong gazed at you for a few seconds before turning as if he was in pain, "It's useless to say it out loud."

You sighed, figuring you'd give him some time to sort his thoughts out, getting up and opening your drawer, smiling at the photo before you sat back down. "You might wanna see this."

Hongjoong scooted nearer, taking the photo and frowning before bursting out in a fit of laughter, "I look like a wimp, and you look worse!"

You laughed, "I definitely look better than you. This might be the most un-princely photo of you that exists- we should frame it and hang it in the Great Hall."

"I remember this," Hongjoong smiled at the photo, "Your dad actually slapped my head and told me to act like a Prince because he wanted me to impress you- but we both ended up like this. You got an earful from your mom too, didn't you?"

"She made me do this, I didn't want to," you scoffed.

"I miss being little," Hongjoong sighed, "When I had nothing to worry about. My only worry was not being caught staring at you kids from the windows."

"You should have joined," your smile was sad as you two looked at each other.

"Don't you think we were meant to meet each other and be friends, sit here together like this?" Hongjoong's voice was low as he scanned your face, "When I'm here, with you, I feel... like Hongjoong. Not the Prince that has to put up and act."

"Should I be honoured?" You teased, but he only smiled, holding your hand.

"I'm only myself when I'm with you," he caressed your hand and you felt your stomach swoop, "I really wish I could call you mine."

You wanted to take your hand away- that was what had to be the rational thing to do, but the way he was gazing at your joined hands with his eyes full of sadness... it made you pause. He looked at you, "Have you ever wanted something or someone so much that you felt like you were nothing without it? That if you didn't get it, you'd just be an empty shell for the rest of your life?"

"Chocolate?" You shrugged, Hongjoong almost wheezing as he laughed, shaking his head, mumbling something about how you ruined the moment, but you squeezed his hand.

"I don't know, Hongjoong, but I... I think it'll be too late before I realize that I let go of the thing I wanted."

His eyes flickered with hope, "It doesn't have to be that way. If you have a chance, don't you think you should take it?"

"You know... I thought about it, Hongjoong. I wondered what it would be like to be with you," you said, making his heart sink as you looked at your joined hands, caressing his hand, "I wondered if I could really do this. If I could call you mine and sit with you like this every night," you looked at him, taking your hand away only to caress his face, "If we could talk like friends yet... be more. But Hongjoong, I'm not one of the Selected, and you can only select one of them. It's for the better."

"How is it better for me," he leaned in to your touch, "if I won't ever have something like this with someone else?"

Your smile was sad and unconvincing, and Hongjoong leaned closer, already out of breath by you words, "I'd break the rules for you. I'd accept any sort of punishment. I'd lose my title if it meant that I'd get to be with you- with you, who I love with all of my heart, because you're the one that I want."

You cupped Hongjoong's face in your hands, "I know. I know you'd do that for me. I know you love me, Hongjoong, and I... I love you too." You gave yourself a moment to scan Hongjoong's face who couldn't have looked more relieved, "But you're a Prince. You have a whole kingdom to look after. Every subject of yours is waiting for an opportunity for you to slip, to make a mistake, so they can use that excuse and destroy your kingdom. You understand that, don't you?"

Hongjoong hesitated before nodding, taking your hands away from his face, holding them as he looked down and thought about it. "It's cruel that you told me you love me only to let me go."

"I'm sorry for that," your eyes teared, "We're not meant to be."

When Hongjoong leaned in to kiss you, you didn't stop him, tears rolling down your cheeks as he kissed you softly, his hands holding your face as if it was fragile, and when he drew back, his own eyes were glazed as he wiped your eyes.

"I only have one week," he began, "please don't let me be alone for this week. I don't want to let go of you without knowing what it could be like if you were mine."

You shook your head but he squeezed your hand as if telling you that it was alright, "One week, that's all I ask. Forget about everything else, forget about the stupid Selection and the fact that I'm a Prince. Just be mine for this week, please."

"And you'll let me go? After one week?" You looked at him, and he nodded.

"If that's what you want."

You leaned in to hug him- your answer. You sat in his arms for a few minutes, holding him as if someone would snatch him away from you if you let him go. "One condition."

"What?" He was caressing your hair.

"Please don't contact me after the Selection is over. I won't want you to be unfaithful to your wife because of me. And... I'd need time but I'll move on too. But please... don't contact me, Hongjoong."

He held you tighter, his heart screaming against this but he nodded, and you sighed.

Tonight was all about sweet lies anyway.

He held you for a few minutes longer, then kissed your forehead and told you that he'd be back tomorrow, that he'd be wasting no moment from now on and that he'd like it if the two of you weren't so sad every time you met, and you laughed, promising him and yourself that you'd make the most of this one week.

But tonight, you'd cry. You didn't know how long you sat on your couch and cried silently until Arin slipped inside your room, gasping in surprise and sitting beside you asking what was wrong and you cried your heart out for the first time in Arin's arms, and she shushed you as she held you and comforted you.

"You should tell me what happened before I pass away out of worry," she frowned.

You told her then. You told her that you hadn't meant for this to happen, that you two were just friends- until you two were so comfortable with each other and realized it must be love. Though Arin was listening somberly at first, she was nearly laughing by the end of this.

"I fucking knew it!" She clapped, and you resisted the urge to choke her, "I knew the way Hongjoong looked at you was different! He's smitten by you, and you were blind!"

"Arin, I'm trying hard not to cry again, you're making this worse," you said but ended up laughing because she was too excited.

"I say fuck the Selection! Fuck this kingdom! He should choose you-" Arin was interrupted by you putting a hand over her mouth and telling her to tone it down before anyone heard and got you two kicked out.

"I'm serious, though," Arin insisted, "Hongjoong like you, you like him. Simple. Who cares about the Selection? He should marry you. He should put himself first. What has this Kingdom given him anyway? A damned burden! If the people really cared about their Prince, they'd let him marry whoever he wants."

"It's too complicated, Arin, you don't understand," you said, shaking your head, "If it was as easy, I wouldn't have been sitting here crying."

Arin bit her lip, thinking. She really wanted to lift your spirits, which was why she kept joking around, knowing you always gave in after a while of wanting to kill her. "Well, at least I'm able to joke because I'm not involved in this. Can't you see? It was meant to be. Me meeting Miyeon, deciding Hongjoong wasn't for me- I know if that hadn't happened, you wouldn't have even looked at Hongjoong that way- or allowed this."

"Maybe Miyeon shouldn't have come. You would be getting selected next week then."

"Come on, that's not the point," Arin waved a hand, "Just... forget about everything else and make most of this week. We'll figure something out."

"There's no figuring this out," you sighed, "I've just prepared myself for the biggest heartbreak of my life."

------------------

It was both painful and lovely to be with Hongjoong- a brush of your hands as you bumped into each other in the hallway, stolen kisses in secret, winks sent across the room- really, you two were making it obvious. But since Arin was with you most of the times, the remaining girls thought it was Arin who was getting this special treatment, and they were upset because of that.

But you couldn't care less. You had one week, and you wouldn't let anyone come in between that.

In the days, Hongjoong was mostly busy, making sure he spent some time with the girls too so that no one would suspect. Each night, Hongjoong and you would walk in the gardens, hands brushing playfully as you talked just like usual. And two nights later, Hongjoong led you to a secret room in the palace through the tunnels.

"I'm pretty sure no one knows of this room," he told you as he lit the candles, "I used to explore the secret passages, leave a string of thread along."

"Hongjoong!" You gasped, "You could have gotten lost! How careless could you be? Imagine if someone found your bones here after years of searching-"

"Well, I'm here," he blew the matchstick away, turning to you, "And I need you to shut up for a bit."

You rolled your eyes as he wrapped his arms around your waist and brought you in for a lazy kiss, your arms automatically going to his chest.

"I could never get tired of this," Hongjoong mumbled, tracing his nose along your cheeks as he breathed, "I could do this all day and all night."

"Shut up," you slapped his chest lightly, suddenly feeling shy and Hongjoong grinned at that, kissing your cheek and trailing his lips down to your neck, and you gladly let him take control. He was taking his sweet time, rocking you back and forth as he played with your neck. When he drew up, he smiled as he scanned your face. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," you shrugged, but he brought you closer, tucking your hair behind your ears as he whined, making you roll your eyes, "Thinking about how it started."

"Hmm," Hongjoong brought you to the couch, making you sit in his lap as he played with your hair, "Totally unexpected?"

"Totally," you laughed, "I was... so happy for Arin. She really, really was in love with you, Hongjoong- or so she thought."

"I think her situation is more surprising than ours," Hongjoong shook his head, "But I have to thank her for not being in love with me."

You laughed at that, "It would have been a mess if she was still in the game." You had told Hongjoong about Arin's situation, and he had suggested that she wait until the Selection was over and lay low for a good few months before going to Miyeon or anyone else for that matter since all eyes would be on the last few candidates for a good while. "But you know what? I think I would have fallen for you anyway. I think it wasn't because of Arin being involved or not."

"Ah," Hongjoong grinned, "Is that so?"

"I really wanted to meet you, you know. And when you caught me the first night in the gardens- I think that's how everything changed, no?"

Hongjoong's smile was sad this time, and you kissed him, "We promised not to be sad anymore."

"I can't help it," he cupped your face, "How will I be able to let you go after this? How will I ever be okay after knowing what it feels like to be in love and letting it go? What kind of a prince I am if I can't even choose my princess?"

You ran your hand through his hair lovingly, caressing his cheekbone, "I feel like this is enough- if I ask for more, I'll be selfish. The fact that we are here now... that's a blessing in itself. I can't be selfish with you, Hongjoong."

The two of you stared at each other for the longest time as if memorizing each other, tracing each other's face, and you spent hours just talking about this or that or kissing each other or teasing- it was just so natural. And throughout the night, Hongjoong held you close, making you lose your mind as he kissed you like it was his last time- and it very well might have been. Each passing night of this short week had you two getting more desperate to be with each other and feel each other, skin on skin had nothing on you.

And each passing day made you weaker inside- you really had grown used to the palace and everyday life here and most importantly, Hongjoong. You promised not to be sad in front of Hongjoong but whenever you were alone (mostly Arin there to hold you), you were crying. Sometimes it was silent tears rolling down your face, sometimes hysteric crying- even Momo, Mina and Sana were worried for you, though they were kind enough not to intrude on your privacy and ask.

It was your last night here- the last time you'd be in Hongjoong's arms. Everything was going to change tomorrow.

You sat waiting for Hongjoong in your room, staring at the moon through the window, barely holding it all in. You were afraid you were gonna break down when you saw Hongjoong.

But when the knock sounded, you immediately knew it was not Hongjoong. And when you opened the door, your jaw almost dropped as you bowed.

"Your Majesty- you could have called for me."

The Queen patted your cheek- she was in a very casual attire, as if she had just decided to come to your room. You had a billion thoughts in your head but only one question- what the hell was going on?

"Please, do sit and be comfortable," the Queen said, "I wanted to see you and have a little talk."

You scanned her face- she was smiling as if she knew something. She laughed at your expressions and began, "I know you must be confused. But I had to see the reason why my son was waking up with puffy eyes these days."

She knew.

"Your Majesty- I... I'm sorry-"

"Oh no," the Queen waved a hand in dismissal, "I'm not here to scold you, dear. Hongjoong doesn't know of this, neither did he say anything, but he's my dear son, and I could see something was weighing him down. It looked like he had lost a war."

You bit your lips, "How did you know then?"

The Queen laughed, "I knew you were friends, dear. But I also saw the way he looked at you- and the way you looked at him. Now what kind of a mother would I be if I couldn't recognize the look in my son's eyes? Your King looks at me the same."

You smiled at that, "So... I don't know what to do, I... I told Hongjoong to go on with the Selection. I told him that his kingdom is more important and that he has to consider his subjects before he makes a hasty decision. And he'll go on with this decision. I'll be here no more tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, dear," the Queen's face was sad, "if it were anyone else, maybe I wouldn't have understood. But since it's you... I can see why Hongjoong loves you, dear. Your mother and father were great people. They've taken our secrets to the graves. But they were also our friends, and me and my husband had love for them as a friend would. They cherished you, their only child. I'm sure they would be so proud of you if they were alive today."

You wiped your eyes and the Queen got up, putting a hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring squeeze. "Sometimes, the future has things stored for us that we do not expect. Do not be sad. You are my pick, honey. And tomorrow... stay, until the announcement. I have to give you something."

You nodded, surprised at her words but also confused at how cryptic she was being. She patted your cheek and left the room, and only a few minutes had passed, you still thinking about the Queen when Hongjoong knocked and entered, and you instantly knew that he had no knowledge of the Queen's visit.

You got up, going to his arms and silently hugging him. There were no tears left to cry now. It was only silence- comfortable sad silence surrounding you two as you hugged for the longest time.

"Can I hold you tonight?" Hongjoong drew back a bit, caressing your face, and you saw it then- his eyes, as puffy and red as yours. Anyone would have known, really.

You nodded and he led you to the bed, taking his jacket off and sliding inside the covers, spreading them over you both as you lay half seated in each other's arms, your head on his chest hearing his heart in sync with yours, his arm around you as he played with your hair- a habit of his.

"You're quiet today," you muttered, looking up at him- laughing a bit when you saw him pouting.

"I don't feel like talking tonight," he pouted again, "I'll listen tonight if you want to do the talking."

"Hmm," you shifted, "not even silly retorts or dad jokes?"

"I'll try to hold them back," he finally laughed, and you kissed him slowly, smiling into it.

"Let's not be sad tonight, Hongjoong," you kissed his cheek, "I don't want the last thing I remember of you to be your swollen eyes."

"I think that's quite a pretty sight to remember," he grinned and you shook your head, kissing him when he nodded, his hand going behind your neck as the kisses got more desperate and picked speed, losing all composure and calm because really, you were kissing like this because it was your last time.

You let Hongjoong cry as he kissed you, and you only realized your face was wet with your own tears when he wiped them away, never breaking apart. You both were smiling into the kiss anyway. And when Hongjoong and you lay in each other's arms, Hongjoong muttered something in your ear repeatedly that had you smiling like a kid.

"Can you stop calling me your princess?" You cringed back, his breath making you tickle and laugh way too hard, "It's getting annoying!"

"But you are the queen of my heart," Hongjoong mumbled it in your ear on purpose, making you giggle and slap his bare shoulders. "Ah, you're getting naughty."

"I'm not! You're making me- hey!" You were interrupted as he turned so he was on top of you, his eyes now dark and changed, making your stomach flutter dangerously.

"You wanna do that again?" He challenged, smirking.

"Do what- this?" You slapped his arm, acting innocent, and he laughed out loud at your antics, pinching your cheek because you were being way too cute, and then kissing you.

"You don't let me breathe, woman," he muttered, falling back on bed and bringing you closer.

You trailed your finger down his chest suggestively, "Don't you like this? Should I let you breathe once in a while?"

He shook his head- he'd had enough of you. He held your face as he muttered something in your ear that made you go red and your knees go weak. And then he acted upon it, making love to you, the two of you trying to push the thought that this was your last night together but it leaked in to your actions as he kissed you desperately, as you ran your hands all over his body like you were deprived of his touch, as you held each other throughout the night.

------------------

The two of you slept in each other's arms, though when you woke up, his absence hit you so hard that you were screaming into your pillow. You had never felt so alone.

Gathering yourself for an act for the last time, you washed your face and let the girls do your makeup, Arin watching you sadly. You put on the deep red suit that Hongjoong loved so much, wondering if you would ever be able to wear suits again since it would be a constant reminder of your short time here.

You only drank coffee to keep you going, waiting in the Women's Room for the staff to call you to the broadcasting room where Hongjoong would announce his wife- the future princess of Wonderland. You suddenly felt nauseous- you couldn't watch that.

You wouldn't be able to.

You told Arin, and she understood, hugging you once, nice and good, but when she drew back, she was smiling.

"I am so proud of you," she patted your cheeks, "You'll get through this."

The ladies were escorted to the broadcast room, and you stayed behind, surprised beyond anything again when the Queen arrived, this time with Hongjoong.

"I told you I'd be back with something," the Queen smiled, and you looked at Hongjoong- even he was confused. She took off her wedding ring and handed it to Hongjoong- "Your decision, my son. It's time you think for yourself, as Hongjoong. Leave the kingdom to us."

You gaped at them, Hongjoong equally surprised, "But- father-"

"Your father is okay with this and he would have been here with me but he's handling the broadcast right now," she patted his back, "Go on, we don't have all day. If she is your happiness, then choose her. I don't want you to have regrets, son, and I don't want you to hate your parents who made you go with this Selection when they themselves didn't."

Hongjoong looked at you, then back at his mother, then finally smiled the most happy smile you'd seen on him so far, "You know, I had a ring of my own today. You beat me to it, mother."

You had to look away as you laughed and pinched your nose because Hongjoong pulled out his own ring, "I was going to go on with this anyway- I was going to tell you before you dragged me here, mother, you nearly gave me a heart attack! You should have warned me!"

"You should have warned me!" The Queen laughed, "Can you imagine the chaos if I hadn't made the connection and taken care of everything beforehand!"

"Unbelievable," you muttered, laughing through your tears, "Your Majesty... are you sure I deserve this?"

"My dear, you deserve to be Hongjoong's wife. The Princess thing- anyone can learn that, but I think the only person who could ever truly make him happy is you. Look at him smiling like an idiot- I have never seen him smile like that, and I am his mother!"

You nearly fell with relief, shaking your head in disbelief as Hongjoong stood in front of you, the Queen leaving you two. "So... can we stop crying and start being happy now?"

You laughed, shaking your head again as Hongjoong hugged you, sighing into it, "I told you last night. That you are meant to be my princess."

"Did you already have this planned out?" You looked at him, and he shook his head.

"All I did the whole week during my spare time was research over the past Selection laws, find a loophole, anything. But then mother came today and said that some laws needed to change anyway, so I better not disappoint her with my choice- you know you are her pick after all."

"I suddenly feel like I was one of the Selected all along," you groaned, "What about the girls?"

"Mom will break it to them. But enough about them-" Hongjoong drew back, taking out the two rings, "Which one are you gonna choose, Princess?"

You rolled your eyes, pretending to consider before putting both hands in the air, and Hongjoong slid his mother's ring on your right hand and his own in your left hand, kissing your knuckles before looking at you, and holding your face, kissing your lips so gently it felt like it was your first kiss, not quite able to draw back right away.

You only had a moment to yourself before Arin, not so ceremoniously, ran inside, squealing excitedly and hugging you and Hongjoong altogether, crying from happiness, saying she had 'too much of your sad ass' and scolding Hongjoong for not coming up with this earlier, which, even though you did not translate, he understood very well, apologizing as he laughed.

The staff called Hongjoong for the official announcement and he squeezed your hand, nudging you to come along. Arin took off her diamond studded hairpin, clipping it to your hair.

"Go show them who's the real queen."