shoot to thrill

“So…this is your place?”

“This is your room.”

“I’m not sleeping with you?”

“I’m not sleeping with you!”

“Well…I…uhh…I figured you wouldn’t want to sleep in the same bed just yet.”

“Do I have to change my name?”

“You don’t have to change your name.”

“I like your mom.”

“So your mom’s a real bitch.”

“I like your dad.”

“So your dad’s a real dick.”

“You live here alone?”

“Who else lives with you?”

“I’m a little nervous.”

“You don’t have to be nervous.”

“Do you know how to cook?”

“I’m your wife.”

“I’m your husband.”

“You live like a pig.”

“Uh…not you.”

“I’m glad it’s you.”

“You’re paying for the wedding.”

“I’m paying for the wedding.”

“My parents are paying for the wedding.”

“Your parents are paying for the wedding.”

“I like you.”

“I don’t like you.”

“I love you.”

not that I deliberately start rp’ing with people for the purposes of shipping, but if there’s chemistry, if there’s interesting interaction, then yeah, I probably ship it

you don’t have to ship it too; it’s fun to torture the muse with unrequited feelings okay

I will never pressure you into a ship

if you feel like i’m pressuring you, let me know and i’ll do my best to rectify the behavior

if you want to ship a thing, pitch it to me. the answer is probably yes.

that said, don’t assume it without at least mentioning it to me ooc first.

ships are usually in their own separate verses unless we’ve discussed something else.

if you ship with me I’ll ruin your life

          Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class

“How do I get this off me quickly without betraying my cool exterior?”

“No one would kill you. You’re just a little puppy dog.”

“Well, hey, I didn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.”

“There are hits and there are misses… and then there are misses.”

“I’m warning you. If this is monkey pee, you’re on your own.”

“I would never lie; I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.”

“I have to admit, that fulfilled one of my boyhood fantasies.”

“That’s why I like you. Your ideas are even weirder than mine.”

“No, wait. This is the part where they bring out Elvis.”

“I could smell you a mile away.“

“Well, they told me that even though my deodorant is made for a woman, it’s strong enough for a man.”

“You think they would have taken me more seriously if I wore the grey suit?”

“If there’s an ice tea in that bag, could be love.”

“Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance charges?”

“Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?”

“Maybe it was another bald-headed, jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed, naked guy I saw.”

“It’s not a funhouse, it’s a tabernacle of terror.”

“I’m exhuming… your potato.”

“Exactly how does one become a professional blockhead?”

“Life… is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for.”

“Sure, fine, whatever.”

“I wouldn’t want to disappoint you by not disappointing you.”

“Please explain to me the scientific nature of the ‘whammy’.”

“If you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.”

“Does your policy cover the acts of extraterrestrials?”

“Your kung-fu is the best.”

“Aluminum foil makes a lovely hat, and it blocks out the government’s mind control rays.”

“Maybe it’ll start raining weenies and marshmallows.”

“Maybe if it rained sleeping bags, you’ll get lucky.”

“Not everybody’s dream is to get on Jerry Springer.”

“Do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?”

“…and then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel.”

“One more anal-probing gyro-pyro levitating ecoplasm alien anti-matter story and I’m going to take out my gun and shoot somebody.”

“It’s not ice cream. It’s a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.”

“I scream, you scream, we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicles!”

what about all these murders that other people took the fall for, only now here’s bucky, admitting he did it, and all those innocents have to be let out of jail. some of them have been imprisoned for decades. think about the ambulance chasers persuading them to sue the government that convicted them. not to mention the revelations not of innocence, but of guilt; high-level hydra, or people who just worked with hydra, that bucky can implicate. imagine the 3 am teleconferences at the CIA and FBI to organize these sprawling investigations as it’s revealed how the CEO of this conglomerate really rose to power, and the people this politician has had killed, and who was behind that bombing. then there’s the smaller trials for individual crimes against bucky. a tech who operated the chair, who had been given a light sentence in exchange for information, being arrested anew, this time for torture. think about the upheaval, the famous names dragged through the mud, the institutions that would implode, the paranoia, the baying for blood.