Atheist girl: I'm so glad science and engineering have progressed to the point where we can manufacture vibrators

Liberal girl: thank you free market for creating the supply to meet the demand for vibrators

Feminist girl: the vibrator has freed us from the need for men

Radical feminist girl: the vibrator is still a phallic implement

Marxist girl: actually it was historical forces that freed women

Marxist feminist girl: the vibrator serves as synecdoche for the entire process of industrialisation and proletarianisation that has laid the groundwork for the liberation of women

Reactionary girl: the vibrator was created to destroy traditional heterosexual relations

Idealist girl: the vibrator was invented because of feminism

Anarchist girl: I have no idea how the vibrator fits into a schema of history

Primitivist girl: I masturbate with a smooth river stone

Lesbian girl: hey while we're all in the same room I have a suggestion

First date idea:

I push you down a flight of stairs, and you crawl your way back up. We see how many times you can come back up in 10 minutes and then try to beat that record. Your reward will be hard fucking while I purposefully pin you on hard surfaces on your bruises.