Not Really There

Johannes Cabal by Jonathan L. Howard

[GOODREADS]

Genre: Fantasy, Horror

Johannes Cabal sold his soul years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. Now he wants it back. Amused and slightly bored, Satan proposes a little wager: Johannes has to persuade one hundred people to sign over their souls or he will be damned forever. This time for real. Accepting the bargain, Jonathan is given one calendar year and a traveling carnival to complete his task. With little time to waste, Johannes raises a motley crew from the dead and enlists his brother, Horst, a charismatic vampire to help him run his nefarious road show, resulting in mayhem at every turn.

Recommended by the-reading-lemon

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This is going viral on Facebook right now. There are jokes being made about it, and it makes me sick. Let me educate you guys, and hopefully save a few turtles in the process:

1. Turtles know where they’re going. DO NOT MOVE THEM IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION THAN THEY ARE ALREADY HEADING. Some turtles, such as Box Turtles, will actually die if they are moved or deterred from going where they’re going.

2. If the turtle is in danger, such as being in the middle of a busy road, then simply pick it up and move it (in the same direction it was going) until it is in a safe place. That’s it. Don’t take it home, and don’t bring it to a completely new location unless absolutely necessary!

3. While I’m talking about it, there is a proper way to pick up a turtle! DO NOT grab or pick up the turtle by its tail or legs. That can cause extreme pain and permanent harm to the animal! Place one hand on each side of the shell, a little bit behind the front legs, and lift the turtle. Make sure you keep the turtle low to the grown, should it decide to freak out a bit and you drop it.

4. If the turtle is large, it may be a snapping turtle. Those are aggressive and have extremely painful bites! Instead of picking it up, gently move it along with a blunt object until it is safely out of harms way.

5. Turtles swim and enjoy water. They know how to find a water source, they do not need your help. If you see a turtle roaming around next to a pond or lake, don’t pick it up and toss it in the water, it’s likely on land for a reason!

6. Tortoises are NOT water animals in any way, shape, or form! Don’t EVER throw them into any water! While some can swim, most cannot and will drown!

7. How do you tell the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? Here’s a few ways:

-Turtles tend to have webbed feet for swimming, while tortoises have round, stubby feet for walking.

-Turtles have flatter shells; tortoises have large, dome shaped shells that tend to have bumps and ridges on them.

“But of course! I tell myself that every day, you see, and occasionally make Haskill join in.” Sheogorath grins, stroking his beard.

オブリビオン：シェオゴラス/Oblivion:Sheogorath

オブリのシェオ様。知れば知るほど魅力（と謎）が増す不思議人物。

TES世界の個性的なキャラの中でも飛びぬけて個性的だと思う一人。

Commission Sheogorath by Ireness-Art