TMA RP BLOG!
Call me Erik (he/him).
I think Iām finally getting a hold on this avatar thingā¦
The Universe is so vast and beautiful! :)
(more info and ooc under the cut)

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@astrooshark
TMA RP BLOG!
Call me Erik (he/him).
I think Iām finally getting a hold on this avatar thingā¦
The Universe is so vast and beautiful! :)
(more info and ooc under the cut)

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[a text from Sparrow]
Erik! Itās pride month! Well, thatās what Starling said. Anyway Iāve never done one that I can remember but apparently it applies to us! What exactly are we supposed to do?
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[ he texts them back ]
I freaking love Pride!!! You can celebrate however you want. We could attend a Pride parade, events and stuff! Itās not a requirement but itās nice. And we can get Pride merch! :D
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]
[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]
I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.
That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]
I love you too.
[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]
Oh god donāt do that, youāre adorable.
I have work in the morning and youāre making it very hard to want to go inside.
Iām sorry! Iāve never kissed anyone!
[ He giggles. ]
Well donāt be so good at it!
[Theyāre laughing too]
How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.
[They yawned]
See? Look what youāve done to me Iām a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.
Iām a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks heās cute. ]
You are! And I am incredibly lucky.
You flatterer⦠[ He laughs a little. ]
I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.
We really should.
[They sigh dramatically]
Guess Iām due inside then, arenāt I? It will be a tragedy to depart, but it must be done.
Kiss me goodbye? [ He holds their hands. ]
Of course.
[They kiss him, pulling back absolutely starstruck]
Now shoo, Iām already missing you.
Now I will have to go to sleep all by myself⦠Tragic!
[They rolled their eyes]
Maybe when I get some flowers for you. Now I love you, go get some sleep. Youāve had a long day. Thereās always next time when I donāt have to get up early.
[ He hugs them. ] See you soon! I love you.
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]
[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]
I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.
That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]
I love you too.
[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]
Oh god donāt do that, youāre adorable.
I have work in the morning and youāre making it very hard to want to go inside.
Iām sorry! Iāve never kissed anyone!
[ He giggles. ]
Well donāt be so good at it!
[Theyāre laughing too]
How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.
[They yawned]
See? Look what youāve done to me Iām a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.
Iām a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks heās cute. ]
You are! And I am incredibly lucky.
You flatterer⦠[ He laughs a little. ]
I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.
We really should.
[They sigh dramatically]
Guess Iām due inside then, arenāt I? It will be a tragedy to depart, but it must be done.
Kiss me goodbye? [ He holds their hands. ]
Of course.
[They kiss him, pulling back absolutely starstruck]
Now shoo, Iām already missing you.
Now I will have to go to sleep all by myself⦠Tragic!
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]
[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]
I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.
That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]
I love you too.
[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]
Oh god donāt do that, youāre adorable.
I have work in the morning and youāre making it very hard to want to go inside.
Iām sorry! Iāve never kissed anyone!
[ He giggles. ]
Well donāt be so good at it!
[Theyāre laughing too]
How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.
[They yawned]
See? Look what youāve done to me Iām a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.
Iām a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks heās cute. ]
You are! And I am incredibly lucky.
You flatterer⦠[ He laughs a little. ]
I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.
We really should.
[They sigh dramatically]
Guess Iām due inside then, arenāt I? It will be a tragedy to depart, but it must be done.
Kiss me goodbye? [ He holds their hands. ]

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[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]
[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]
I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.
That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]
I love you too.
[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]
Oh god donāt do that, youāre adorable.
I have work in the morning and youāre making it very hard to want to go inside.
Iām sorry! Iāve never kissed anyone!
[ He giggles. ]
Well donāt be so good at it!
[Theyāre laughing too]
How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.
[They yawned]
See? Look what youāve done to me Iām a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.
Iām a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks heās cute. ]
You are! And I am incredibly lucky.
You flatterer⦠[ He laughs a little. ]
I really enjoyed our date, we should do it again soon.
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]
[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]
I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.
That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]
I love you too.
[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]
Oh god donāt do that, youāre adorable.
I have work in the morning and youāre making it very hard to want to go inside.
Iām sorry! Iāve never kissed anyone!
[ He giggles. ]
Well donāt be so good at it!
[Theyāre laughing too]
How am I supposed to want to go inside and just go to sleep when I could be talking to you? This is ruinous for me. Absolutely ruinous.
[They yawned]
See? Look what youāve done to me Iām a mess! They were right, never trust cute boys with nice smiles.
Iām a cute boy with a nice smile? [ He is screaming inside. Sparrow thinks heās cute. ]
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]
[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]
I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.
That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]
I love you too.
[Sparrow hides their face in their hands]
Oh god donāt do that, youāre adorable.
I have work in the morning and youāre making it very hard to want to go inside.
Iām sorry! Iāve never kissed anyone!
[ He giggles. ]
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]
[They kiss him back, squeezing his hand tight]
I. . . wow. I am most definitely in love with you.
That was. . . Gosh that was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
[ Erik giggles, blushing all over as they part. ]
I love you too.
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
I-
[They turned bright red, fidgeting with Erikās hand]
I-I mean I, I wouldnāt say no, if thatās what youāre-
Yes. Yes I would love that actually.
[ He doesnāt think, no, thinking more would not help. He just gets closer and kisses them, his heart hammering in his chest. ]

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[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[They smile]
For next time. And all the other next times.
[They were getting close to their apartment. A little sad to be going so soon. They really truly could have talked to him forever]
[ When they stop walking and Sparrow is about to leave, Erik makes up his mind. He takes their hand and asks, his voice trembling a little from the nerves. ]
ā¦Sparrow? Would you like it if I kissed you?
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow was beaming, happier than anything]
I suppose itās only a big thing if you make it one, isnāt it? Iām a little disappointed I donāt have a grand gesture to go with it.
[They stopped]
Oh my god! I didnāt even bring flowers I meant to bring flowers!
[ Erik laughs. ]
This is okay! Flowers can wait. For the next time.
[ He winks at them. ]
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
Oh, are we at the point where we can call it love out loud now? Thank goodness, Iāve been waiting. Iām pretty sure Iāve gone through nearly every synonym for it at this point. Everything except āI love you, Erikā.
[ Thank goodness itās dark because Erik is blushing hard. ]
[ He lets out a sigh of relief. ] I was so nervous to say it, I swear, why is it so difficult? Feels like a huge thing. And itās something Iāve been feeling for a while now.
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]
[Sparrow was looking around into the night, swinging their arm a bit]
Gosh, itās beautiful out. Lovely scenery. That tree, that lamp.
[They look at Erik and squeezed his hand]
Oh, and that tops it all. To think weād ever get so lucky to have a view like this in London!
[ He blushes, squeezing their hand back. ]
Says you. I could look at you all day and not get tired.
[ The sky is clear and all the stars are visible. Erik looks up at them. ]
Youāre like all the stars combined. And I love the stars.
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[They absolutely lit up]
You would-? I would love that!
[They take his hand, deliberately walking slow to spend more time with him]
You know I really had a lot of fun tonight.
I did too! [ Laughing a bit ] Itās refreshing to leave work happy.
[ He looks down at their joined hands and smiles shyly. ]

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[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!
We should! And we arenāt paying air fare!
[ The date goes well, they have pizza and laugh a lot. As they are leaving, Erik fidgets with his hands a little. ]
Heyā Sparrow! Would you like me to walk you home⦠maybe? Iād love to keep you company.
[Sparrow stood nervously in the entryway to the restaurant, looking for Erik. They held their hands behind their back and waited]
- @a-poem-poorly-written
[Erik joins them, still wearing his work clothes. He looks a bit tired but he still smiles at the sight of them.]
Sparrow! Hi! Ready for dinner? Sorry, Iāll have to go change real quick but you can sit down and wait for me. Everythingās on me!
Right! Yes! You look wonderful, by the way.
[They sat down, regretting their choice of shirt. The arms were just a bit too short, and a watch was not enough to cover that their tattoos were poking out the bottom of their sleeves]
Thank you! You too!
[Erik comes back just a few minutes later. His hair is a bit messy, he was clearly in a hurry. And heās wearing a t-shirt for the first time around Sparrow. They can see all the space themed tattoos on his arms.]
Sorry about that. [He smiles and sits down across from them.] Youāre wearing the heck out of that shirt. Very pretty.
[They blush, tugging on the sleeves nervously]
Ah! Thank you.
[They notice his tattoos]
I- oh my goodness those are incredible! You never told me you had tattoos!
I didnāt? I have plenty! Can you tell Iām obsessed with space? [He chuckles.]
I have our solar system tattooed up and down my spine. Itās my favourite one. I could show it to youā I mean, not here, of course. [He blushes a little.]
[They flushed, less at the idea of Erik and more knowing inevitably that they were going to be asked about theirs at some point.]
I would love to see it, yāknow, when weāre not here. I bet it looks great on you. Not that thatās hard.
[Chuckling] You flatterer⦠Thank you. [He gestures at their arms.]
Why are you trying to hide yours?
[They tapped on their arm, laughing nervously]
I-uh. Theyāre. . . every avatar has to have a becoming, right?
Not really sure at what point in a relationship how you died the first time gets discussed. Is dinner an appropriate time to do it? Carbonara and trauma?
[He laughs a bit.] No, youāre right. Iām sorry. I didnāt know these things were connected. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want to.
But if you do want to tell me, Iām here to listen.
[Erik puts his hand on theirs comfortingly.]
[They smiled, rolling up their sleeves and revealing the poems that covered their forearms]
Well, I suppose thereās no use in leaving it a mystery, is there?
When I first got into the Spiral, I would write poems on things. Think my notebook, but about a thousand times worse. On the tube, sides of buildings, everything. Eventually, they started appearing on the walls of my old flat. I knew that I wrote them, but didnāt remember doing it. They got everywhere, until there wasnāt a space that wasnāt covered in them. Things escalated from there, to the point where I couldnāt do anything but write. I locked myself in, and without anything to write on I started to write on myself. And. . .
[They hesitated. Were they being too much?]
And eventually pretty much everything but my hands and my face were covered. But I couldnāt stop so I. . . I wrote one on my heart. Literally. And that. . . sort of marked when I became an avatar.
[They shifted awkwardly, somewhat relieved to have it off of their chest, but nervous for Erikās reaction]
[Erik listens patiently, his expression never changing from a soft and kind one.]
You donāt have to be scared. Your poems are a significant part of you now, just like the sky is a significant part of me. I think you are beautiful, all of you. I want to get to know you.
[They flushed, a warm feeling spreading from their chest to their whole body. Smiling briefly but it faded more and more as they spoke]
That is, genuinely, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But. . . well I guess Iām just afraid that there isnāt much āmeā to know. I mean I only really have the last 5 years worth of my memory, and everything but the last six months of that was in the Spiral. Before that I barely remember anything about who I was.
Iām⦠sorry. [He is a bit worried about saying the wrong thing.]
It must be difficult for you. Not remembering you before the Becoming. Do you sometimes wish you did remember?
Sometimes, but I think Iām a fundamentally different person now. It would be a little strange to have memories that feel nothing like me. I mean, every once in a while I get flashes of things. Names, places, all that, but itās like shoving together puzzle pieces that fit the same shape, but not the same picture. And I mean I know plenty about the man, Iāve done my research, but itās not the same as being him. I think Wendell Keats is well and truly gone at this point. Thatās, um, who I was. That feels strange to say.
[They straightened themself, holding just a little tighter to Erikās hand]
Gosh Iām talking a lot, arenāt I? How was your day? I should have asked before anything!
Donāt be silly. You had things to get off your chest and I offered to listen. I donāt mind at all.
[He squeezes their hand back.]
You can always talk to me about that, okay? Iām still learning things about the Spiral, and I do want to understand you and be able to help how I can⦠I hope Iām not being⦠uh⦠weird about it.
[They smile]
No youāre. . . it really sweet actually. Itās a weird thing to talk about.
But seriously, how was your day? I like to hear about it.
[He sighs, rubbing his eyes.] It was⦠mostly fine. Iām just tired. Lots of clients today, you know?
I was thinking of a nap all day. [He chuckles.]
[Gosh he looked adorable.]
Well I suppose youāve only got one more dinner to drag yourself through and then you can go home and sleep. Unless you need to go early. Sleep is rather important for you, you know.
No, I want to spend time with you. [His eyes soften.] Sleep can wait. I promise Iām okay.
[Sparrow smiled]
If you say so, Iāll believe you.
So what exactly do you get at Italian? I donāt think Iāve ever actually been.
[Erik puts on his cheery, customer service tone.] Are you asking what we would recommend?
Of course! Our specialty as an Italian restaurant is (surprise surprise) pizza! [He opens the menu and shows them the customersā favourites.] Would you like to have one of those?
[Sparrow laughed]
That sounds lovely. And Iāll take my Erik back as well. Customer Service Erik frightens me.
[He laughs too.] Customers seem to like him!
[They shrugged]
Heās not so bad. I bet he wouldnāt tell me about the solar system in more detail than a university textbook though. Iād miss that.
Thatās a very fair point. Luckily, right now Iām Sparrowās Erik. Ask me about whatever. [He grins.]
O-kay. Been to any lectures lately? Iāve been looking at some just in case I needed to brush up on the topic before listening to you talk about it.
Not really, no. But I found a new planet! I mean, I already knew it was there, but I never actually saw it with my eyes. I must show you sometime.
Oh! Iād love to see!
Does it have a name yet?
Not yetā Oh! I almost forgot! [He takes his backpack.]
Remember when I told you I drew stuff and you asked me to show it to you? Well, I took my tablet with me for the occasion.
[He puts it on the table, looking all nervous.]
Itās not as great as your art, Iām afraid, but you wanted to see so Iāll show you.
[There are many pieces with various planets, stars and nebulae. Thereās even a galaxy! Erik tells them something about each one.]
[Sparrow looks absolutely amazed]
Wow! Those are absolutely incredible! I canāt believe you think my stuff is better. It literally looks like scribbles compared to this!
[He blushes a little.] Thank you.
And your stuff is amazing, Sparrow, donāt be silly.
[They smile. Was it always normal to feel this warm after a compliment? Something about Erik just made if feel so much more meaningful]
Itās. . . thank you. Theyāre more of a hobby, I think, than anything. I mean I guess you canāt exactly sell graffiti, but. . . itās nice. Not usually an art form you get compliments on.
No? I could compliment you all day long. You are just that awesome.
[He smiles cheekily.] And pretty. And smart. And with a fantastic style. And a cute smile. And those red cheeks, yes, theyāre cute too.
[Sparrow buried their face in their arms on the table, flushing bright red]
Well you are-! Youāre ridiculous.
And sweet and kind and smart and lovely to listen to and adorably passionate. And I cannot believe i somehow actually got you to like me.
You are not hard to like. I think youāre very likeable.
[They laugh]
I guess Iāll have to take your word for it. I mean I suppose one likable person would recognize another. I just donāt know how it seems so effortless with you! I mean, Iām sure itās not but you donāt even look nervous trying to talk to people!
[Erik laughs nervously.] I mean, itās not like Iām not nervous. I justā Okay, maybe Iām not as nervous with you. Itās quite refreshing.
It really is. Not having to constantly worry about saying the wrong thing because I know you donāt care. Or, you do care, just, you know what I mean. Talking to you doesnāt feel so heavy.
Iām so glad you feel that way. [He smiles fondly.]
Youāre my comfort person.
That really means a lot. Thank you. Youāre mine too.
[They glance around the restaurant, noting the decor]
You know, Italy has always sounded nice. Iāve heard the countryside is m gorgeous. Have you done much traveling?
[He laughs a bit.] This is very funny because Iāve been to space so many times and Iāve never actually left the country. But yes, Italy sounds nice. Have you been there?
I have absolutely no idea.
[They laughed]
I know Iāve been to Scotland once though. Apparently Wendell won a few poetry awards from some writers society there.
We should go together sometime, then. I could use the Vast to take us there!