now wet wash cloth in hand he turned back to face astrid, awaiting her answer. he felt the hesitation like it was manifesting physically in between them. it made him regret asking. truthfully it wasnโt his business, and he realised that more when she hesitated. he wasnโt owed some explanation just because he helped her. heโd helped her because sheโd looked like she had hurt herself. if he wanted anything from helping her that made him a dick, and he didnโt want to be that. not at all.
but she did tell him. she did explain. in a way at least, he still had more questions but he held his tongue for a second. still regretting the first question. even if he didnโt think she owed him an explanation, and didnโt want her to think she owed him an explanation either, she still might think she did. he held the cloth out to her as she spoke so she could clean her wound. he wondered many things. like where had she gone, the dress implied some sort of party but the fact that conny had helped her and not anyone else implied sheโd gone alone. how had she gotten there, how had she gotten back. why was she by herself. he didnโt know if he should ask any of them, much less how he should ask them.
โ the doors are kind of janky, i think everything sort of is around here, โ he decided to comment instead. focusing on the thing she said that he could relate to.ย โ it might have locked on its own, โ he offered, though he did suspect it was far more likely that someone had done it just probably not with the intention of locking astrid out. he held his breath for a moment, already knowing what he wanted to ask next. he didnโt want her to be uncomfortable, but again, he wanted to know. he would likely regret it the moment he asked, but maybe it wouldnโt be so bad because he was alone too. he wasnโt judging, he just wanted to know what had led to her falling out of the window. โ and there wasnโt, like, anyone to let you back in? โ he asked, already hating what he was askingย โ no one knew you snuck out? not, like, any friends? โย
Astrid studied his face closely, trying to decipher what he was thinking. She didnโt see any judgement in his eyes, but maybe a bit of...what was it exactly? Not embarrassment exactly, maybe regret? Her brows knitted together in confusion. What did he have to be regretful about? After all she was the one who had been caught, scantily dressed, breaking God knows how many rules. Maybe he was feeling second hand embarrassment for her sake, she couldnโt blame him if that was the case, personally she wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole.ย
ย She silently took the damp rag from his hands, hissing slightly as she pressed it into her skinned knee. Was her wild night out worth it? Sure it had given her a rush at the time, and the drink had given her a temporary buzz but that was before she had ended up on the forest floor, and more importantly, before she had gotten caught. How long had she thought she could get away with this? She had gotten so used to no one noticed her she didnโt even think of the possibility of getting caught. She was the Ghost Girl, she was the last person people would expect to be breaking the rules and sneaking off to dive bars in the middle of the night.ย
ย Astrid had always been good at reading people, and she could tell that Connor was gearing up to ask her more questions, and she braced herself for the obvious. Where did you go? How did you get there? Why are you dressed like you belong on a street corner? She wasnโt expecting him to ask her about her friends. โI uhโฆโ Astrid had a small โ very small โ handful of acquaintances at Broadripple, and an even smaller amount of friends. Two friends to be exact, and not even Kat and Isobel knew about her little habit. โI donโt really have many friendsโฆโ It sounded pathetic coming out of her mouth but it was the truth, there was a reason she had a reputation for flying under the radar.ย
ย โPleaseโฆโ She started, chewing on her lip awkward. โPlease donโt tell anyone about this okay?โ She pleaded, looking up at him with her big blue eyes. โI mean...No one knows that I, you know, sneak out of anything.โ