Storied Treasures

the 20th century is crazy what do you mean that airplanes didnt exist in 1900 and by 1999 Futurama was airing

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack

truly an honor and a privilege getting to witness everyone's first time in public ever every single time i go grocery shopping

that? oh thats the mysterious bruise i got thursday , #mybruise

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

sometimes a bad bitch just needs to sit by the sea

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem