マモン

A defeated sigh escapes your lips as your cards rain down from your fingers onto Wriothesley’s desk. “Unbelievable. A first-time TCG player beat me in all three rounds. So, what do you want your prize to be? A tea company from the surface?”

“Haha. Your suggestions are becoming more adventurous, captain.” Wriothesley kicks back on his chair with a great idea in mind from the smug smile on his face. “Meet me there at night. You’ll help me sneak in, and I’ll rob its entire collection.”

You narrow his eyes at his sarcasm, and he surrenders. “Alright. I'll settle with a tea cup set. The cups in my current one are broken and the teapot has some cracks, so it’ll be nice to have a new one.”

“Okay, I’ll place an order from the surface and ship it here.” You get up from your seat. “I must head back. The guards could be slacking off as we speak. Excuse me, your grace.” 

“Ah, actually.” You hear the chair scrape the floor and turn to face him, who’s now leaning against the front of his desk. “Before you go, there’s something I need you to investigate.”

“Of course. what is it?” He stops you from coming back to your seat by his hand on your shoulder, making you flinch. His expression’s gone rather ominous, and it stays that way when he leans closer to your ear.

“How long will it take for the captain of the gardes to admit their feelings for the duke?”

You cough violently and push yourself out of his hold. Despite his claims of not being omnipotent, his eyes and ears are everywhere within and beyond the fortress. But why are you still surprised that he’ll find out your feelings toward him eventually?

“Don’t tell me you believe those rumors, your grace?” You boldly deny, but deep inside you already know he totally won’t buy your facade based on your immediate reaction. “I’m assuming that’s what you want me to investigate, so again, please excuse me—”

“You didn’t answer my question, captain.” His fingers glide to your shoulder, akin to caressing it, and the temperature in your cheeks suddenly skyrockets. “So, how long will it take for the captain of the gardes to—?”

“I heard you the first time, your grace,” you say dismissively, screaming at him in your head to let you go back to your station and never talk about this matter ever again. “With all due respect, what’s the meaning of this?”

“Come on. Don’t tell me you already forgot,” he laughs as he goes back to his seat, hands folded on top of his desk. “Wanna bet?”

“This again?” you huff, more worn out from his ludicrous habits since you were stationed at the fortress as its security team. However, this could be an opportunity for you to finally win against him. If he decides to play the game this way, then might as well follow along to ensure your own victory. “Fine, I’ll say never.”

“Oh? No faith in the duke’s capabilities to charm them?” He seems confident with the answer he has come up with. “I’ll say within the next hour or two.”

“Ha! Overestimating the captain’s willpower to not fall for his charms, I see,” you counter, showing off your determination to win. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Alright then, it’s settled.” He shakes hands with you to solidify the agreement. “Oh, and captain? No need for your suggestions for this one. I know what I want as my prize.”

“Oh? And what would that be, your grace?”

A defeated sigh escapes your lips as your cards rain down from your fingers onto Wriothesley’s desk. “Unbelievable. A first-time TCG player beat me in all three rounds. So, what do you want your prize to be? A tea company from the surface?”

“Haha. Your suggestions are becoming more adventurous, captain.” Wriothesley kicks back on his chair with a great idea in mind from the smug smile on his face. “Meet me there at night. You’ll help me sneak in, and I’ll rob its entire collection.”

You narrow his eyes at his sarcasm, and he surrenders. “Alright. I'll settle with a tea cup set. The cups in my current one are broken and the teapot has some cracks, so it’ll be nice to have a new one.”

“Okay, I’ll place an order from the surface and ship it here.” You get up from your seat. “I must head back. The guards could be slacking off as we speak. Excuse me, your grace.” 

“Ah, actually.” You hear the chair scrape the floor and turn to face him, who’s now leaning against the front of his desk. “Before you go, there’s something I need you to investigate.”

“Of course. what is it?” He stops you from coming back to your seat by his hand on your shoulder, making you flinch. His expression’s gone rather ominous, and it stays that way when he leans closer to your ear.

“How long will it take for the captain of the gardes to admit their feelings for the duke?”

You cough violently and push yourself out of his hold. Despite his claims of not being omnipotent, his eyes and ears are everywhere within and beyond the fortress. But why are you still surprised that he’ll find out your feelings toward him eventually?

“Don’t tell me you believe those rumors, your grace?” You boldly deny, but deep inside you already know he totally won’t buy your facade based on your immediate reaction. “I’m assuming that’s what you want me to investigate, so again, please excuse me—”

“You didn’t answer my question, captain.” His fingers glide to your shoulder, akin to caressing it, and the temperature in your cheeks suddenly skyrockets. “So, how long will it take for the captain of the gardes to—?”

“I heard you the first time, your grace,” you say dismissively, screaming at him in your head to let you go back to your station and never talk about this matter ever again. “With all due respect, what’s the meaning of this?”

“Come on. Don’t tell me you already forgot,” he laughs as he goes back to his seat, hands folded on top of his desk. “Wanna bet?”

“This again?” you huff, more worn out from his ludicrous habits since you were stationed at the fortress as its security team. However, this could be an opportunity for you to finally win against him. If he decides to play the game this way, then might as well follow along to ensure your own victory. “Fine, I’ll say never.”

“Oh? No faith in the duke’s capabilities to charm them?” He seems confident with the answer he has come up with. “I’ll say within the next hour or two.”

“Ha! Overestimating the captain’s willpower to not fall for his charms, I see,” you counter, showing off your determination to win. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Alright then, it’s settled.” He shakes hands with you to solidify the agreement. “Oh, and captain? No need for your suggestions for this one. I know what I want as my prize.”

“Oh? And what would that be, your grace?”

Nazuna wouldn't ever be Nazuna without his energetically loving physical affection. His kisses are quick but still have every ounce of his love poured into each. Kisses on the forehead, on the cheeks a quick peck on the lip, your neck, your collarbone, your hands- he loves every bit of you, and wherever you like, he shows his affection- a reminder of how much you mean to him, how much he loves you. His hugs are warm and he envelops you in his love, and he hopes you can tell that as much of a sense of belonging you are to him, that he is the same to you.

His love for you is a sense of belonging, a calming wood fire about the fireplace in the middle of an eternal winter. Even if he's built a home of wood and stone, furniture freshly carved and blankets knitted, it's still cold in the house without you. Even though he cherishes all these things which he keeps close to him, it is when the fire is on and you're around that the house warms up, and he starts feeling whole again, himself and loved.

TAKAMINE MIDORI ー care

Midori cares about a lot of people- from his friends to his family, to you. He cares about you, your feelings, your health, and everything in between. He can't help but perhaps feel a little bit worried for sometimes, and he is always more than willing to help with anything you need help with, even if he has to stay up late to help you. He shows his love by taking care of you, and he appreciates it a lot when you're honest with him.

Vegetables and keychains. Vegetables is something that Midori is quite known for around Yumenosaki, from apologizing with them to expressing his gratitude- and the same goes with you. He's made it a point to bring the ones you like best, and he offers to cook them ever so deliciously. No restaurant can truly compare. While he is also known for his vegetables, there is also something he's a little less known for- the keychains he gives you. Sometimes he makes them, sometimes he finds them, But nonetheless, they're cute designs, most probably of mascots he's found adorable himself. He hopes you like them as much as he does too.

Midori's love for you is a sense of validation, that someone in the world cherishes him as much he cherishes them. It's a blanket of comfort for him, a picture of all the memories he has with you sewn into it. He traces over it with his finger, and he always is reminded of each of the times he's fallen harder and harder for you.

SAEGUSA IBARA ー trust

Ibara trusts no one more than you. Even though he's learned to trust a little, having found some trust in his fellow members of Eden, he's found that you've opened the key to his heart. He's rediscovered a feeling he's kept hidden away, and he cannot be more grateful. At first, he thought you had somehow lured him in, and he had come up with a plan to stop that. But by any account, it had gone wrong when he realized he didn't want to carry it out anymore.

If you want something, you have it. Ibara is a businessman at heart, and there is something about him that tells you that he's more than likely to make it profitable too. After all, the more money the better, right? And before he knew it, your happiness was a new kind of currency. The happier you were, the richer he was. And he loves pursuing that.

Ibara had everything and just about nothing- until he met you. He had the riches, the power, the fame, but not a single person to rely on. His walls were built of metal, fortified and ready to move as according to plan. But somehow, the snake had been snuck upon, and before he knew it, he had found that you held the key to opening those walls.

AMAGI HIIRO ー understanding

Hiiro always tries to understand others, as much as he wants them to understand him too. He tries to understand you as much as he understands himself, at the very least. He's not hungry or desperate to understand you, but he always wants to know a little bit more each time you meet. You're an interesting person, someone he's comfortable with and someone he truly wants to understand him.

Hiiro always listens. He's a good listener, wonderful at comforting. He listens to anything you'd like to say, and he tries his best at anything he can do for you. He hopes his earnest desire to help reaches you and that he is helping- he wants you to understand that from his heart. Sometimes, there are things he doesn't understand due to being new to the city, and he always appreciates it when you take the time to explain the things he doesn't quite understand to him.

Hiiro doesn't quite know where he's going with you, but he knows that he wants to be beside you, if you'll allow. He hopes that red string of fate will lead his pinky finger to yours forever, that it won't get tangled and cut along the way, that you'll keep the trust that's been built between you. He hopes that the string will keep getting thicker, and that your pinkies will keep touching as you race through the city he calls life.

MASHIRO TOMOYA ー comfort

Tomoya hopes that you find comfort in him, the way he finds comfort in you. He wants you to be comfortable around him, the way he's so comfortable with you too. He wants you to enjoy being with him, despite him being "boring" or "normal", and he hopes you could spend the rest of your days beside him in a peaceful bliss.

Tomoya is always there beside you, to ease your worries and to bring your life to an equilibrium- a perfect balance of imperfects, bliss, and comfort. Even if you just need to sit by him as he holds you hand with your head on his shoulder, he's glad that you trust him enough to show such a side of yourself to him, that he can help you get through anything you're going through, that he can experience it with you, every step of the way.

To Tomoya, love is finding someone to confide in, a see-saw of some sort. Sometimes life sways you one side and sometimes it sways you the other, but he's holding your hand through it, hoping to keep you in the middle with him. Though, really, he loves staying with you, whether you're on either or no end of the place you're sitting.

HiMERU ー treasure

HiMERU makes it very clear that he treasures you. You're the most important person in his life, and he always wants you to know that. He knows he's nowhere near perfect, as anyone else, but he always tries to provide the best for you. He wants to lessen your pain, at least as much as he can, and all he wants for you is to be happy.

HiMERU always makes sure that you're happy with him. If you're happy, then he is too; your happiness is so contagious to him, and it's something he'd never let go of. He showers you with his gentle kisses, words of affirmation, and anything you'd like- perhaps he spoils you quite a bit, but he loves when you indulge in it.

HiMERU's love for you is quite like a gentle breeze wherever you go. He doesn't mind following you wherever as long as he's with you, that he can make you happy. It's a breeze that fixes your hair, tickles your cheek and whispers his declarations of love to you. It's a cool breeze in the heat of summer and a warm air in the cold of winter.

WORD COUNT | 1,412 words

NOTES | first time writing for A LOT of these people,, and i oop,, i'll get to reqs,,, soon,,,,, aha- and also if you couldn't tell yes i like WMMAP

Even before you had started dating, his hand was always easy to hold. It was never really truly awkward- it may have been just a little the first few times, but in the end, it was always comforting. It was a reminder that he was there for you, that he would support you, and that he was with you, safely by your side. There was something about his hands that told you "everything was going to be okay", and when he held yours, hard tasks became manageable, and easy tasks even became refreshing, like a spring breeze.

If there was something you admired about Nazuna, it was his consistency. He was surprisingly easy to predict, though never in a bad way. It was easy to figure out how to talk to him, how to get closer to him, how to make him happy. His actions were consistent, his words were consistent, and his love was always consistent. And it was easy to know that he would love you forever.

His touch. It's soft; it's not just because his skin is soft from the residue of his lotion, it's because of the love he put into each and every touch. When he took hold of your hand, you could feel the happiness he felt as his hands interlocked with yours, and it was always contagious. When his hands cupped your cheeks, his adoration for you was stupidly apparent, his smile only adding to it. When he hugged you, the rate of his heart beating hastened just a little, you could tell admiration he had for you had never waned. When he kissed you, his sweet breath was full of relief, an air of comfort.

His words. His words are sweet, yet still are true to the cold-hard reality. It's easy to think of it as his tone- the way he conveys his words in his usual upbeat manner, it always made you and everyone else around him happy. But it wasn't that. The words weren't flowery, it wasn't the nectar from inside the flowers that made his words sweet. The message wasn't always sweet either; upon mentioning serious topics, they always delivered the cold, hard truth. But what it was made of, it was sweet, and even warm. Even if it was the jagged truth of world, he made it easier to process with his heartfelt words.

If there was one thing that you would never mind waking up to, it would be Nazuna. The way he looked at you, you could feel the sparkles in his eyes as he spoke, as he intertwined his hand with yours, as he thought about you while his lips touched yours. There was an old saying, that you could tell one's true intentions through their eyes- and it was right. Through his eyes you could see the love he displayed for you, never changing through a dozen eternities.

Anyone could tell, everyone knew that Nazuna would do anything to make your life easier- and you knew that too, but it was a long time before you could tell. It was really just the small things he did- carrying this for you, remembering that about you, preparing things you may have forgotten for you- it was as if he had completed your life in the littlest of ways possible. It was never anything big, never a big or noticeable change in actions. It was always "I thought you might've forgotten this, so..." and "Just remember to...", the things that are often so easy to never notice. They were easy to forget, easy to take for granted, but once removed, it would feel like everything came crashing down on you. It was like he filled the holes in your life, plugging in the areas that leaked, the ones that were being worn down, the ones that things from outside had made.

AOBA TSUMUGI ―　 gentle reminder.

It was always easy to forget about Aoba Tsumugi before you had started dating. He was just another guy, a sweet person you'd seen from time to time, one who did something nice and never made much of an impression. Yet, he was always a pleasant experience, one which you could never find anything wrong with. A breath of fresh air, if you would.

Before you knew it, you'd become used to the little favors he'd done for you. It was difficult to realize how different every aspect of your life would become without him. Somehow, he made his way into every part of your life, from work to home to wherever you went out. You'd become used to him without knowing, but if you ever parted ways, they would all become apparent.

It was ironic, how your phone would vibrate to tell you a message from him that read "Make sure to drink lots of water and take breaks~ ♡ I love you!" when you yourself often got calls from Natsume, detailing how Tsumugi had fallen asleep at the NewDi office. When your phone vibrated, you knew what he was going to say, but you read it anyways, again and again. It was never compelling to do it as you got the message; it was cute, and it made you smile at how adorable Tsumugi was, sending these. But as work got stressful again, somehow, it appeared on your mind, and you figured that you should perhaps take a break and get some water. It was like a mystery. As soon as you forgot about it and you really needed it, you remembered his words.

If there was an object that reminded you of Tsumugi, it would be the dark blue blanket he had given you. It was soft, and perhaps just a little heavy, but it was warm and gentle, just like him. Actually, blankets in general reminded him of you, because of the way he brought them to places you would never expect at times you thought you wouldn't need one. Sometimes, it felt like he read the future, yet you knew he couldn't do that; there were things that surprised him too. Another reason why blankets reminded you of him was that whenever he came home, he'd always make sure that a blanket was safely around you to keep you warm. It wasn't uncommon to fall asleep waiting for him at nights he worked late, and sometimes, you'd wake up just in time to see him before falling back asleep.

On Sunday mornings, you'd always find the other side of the bed empty. It was easy to wonder "Where's Tsumugi?", when you found a pillow in his place. It always took you a moment to notice the footsteps outside the bedroom door, in the kitchen where he was preparing breakfast. It was easier to get off on his side of the bed, and as you opened the door, he greeted you with a "Good morning, Dove." You could already smell the coffee brewing, and you could see sandwiches being prepared on the counter. He always went a little extra on Sundays, and it was always the best day to start the week. It was nice, a little indulgent, and it was a gentle reminder that he loved you, you were the most important person to him.

SAKASAKI NATSUME ―　 interwoven dreams.

Somehow, he came to you in a dream, even before he had met you. It was years before, before you had known his name and before he had even known you. Yet, you saw him in your dreams, red hair and golden eyes; it was alluring, the way he looked at you. And you had always wondered who he was, until you met him.

It was like magic, the way he knew things you wanted him to know but didn't really want to tell him. The way he asked about what you wanted to talk about before you even opened your mouth made it infinitely easier to talk about it. It was the way he listened when you talked about it in infinitely more detail than he knew. He listened, and listened, and it never went in one ear and out the other. It stayed close to him, and whatever it was about, he always had the magic to remedy it.

It took you a while to notice them, the things he did for you without wanting you to realize it was him. He kept things close for you, always having whatever you needed close by. He never wants to make you more busy, and each action he took to lift even the smallest of burdens, he made it seem like magic. (Though, before long, you could tell which magic was his)

There was never such a concept of "doing too much for you" to Natsume; if he wanted to do it for you, he was going to do it for you. He didn't often want to rely on his parents to get something for you, but if they could get it and he couldn't, he wouldn't wait a single second to ask them. And when you asked him where he got it, he always would answer in a roundabout way, one which never clearly explained the process of obtaining it, but it was easy to tell that he got it from someone else- not that it was ever a bad thing.

He always knew before you. It always seemed that he had figured it out before you had even noticed, no matter what had surprised you. He dropped hints here and there; they were enough to give you a lead, but never enough to imply an outcome. Even before the two of you had started dating, other people knew it was going to happen. Some people were not so subtle, while some quietly chuckled, knowing what would happen. And the one behind all of this, Sakasaki Natsume, had placed a spell on everyone he knew, including you.

SAZANAMI JUN ―　 the other half.

If someone took away Sazanami Jun from your life, not a single day would go by that felt complete. It's not that he was always with you- more than often, he was working. He was around less than he wasn't, yet you had always felt as if he were always there. You were fairly independent- your work had nothing much to do with him and his yours, yet if he was gone, you couldn't do it without him. It wasn't a physical sense of being there, nor was it a digital sense- though, it had been a habit for the two of you to check each other's social media profiles throughout the day- it was an emotional sense.

Whenever Jun came from anywhere he had gone for work, no matter how far or how near, whether it was just in town or across the globe, Jun brought little trinkets home to you. Sometimes it was a snack he thought you'd like, a game that had been on your minds, something that reminded him of you, or something just cute, he'd buy it and bring it home for you. The two of you have a shelf just for these, just by the door, so that you can see it every day when you left and returned home. Sometimes, Jun will put it there and wait for you to notice the new addition to the collection if it's not food; if it is, he'll hide it in the pantry and wait to see how long it takes for you to notice it.

When Jun is home, he mostly stays wherever you are; he doesn't like being separated from you. He isn't clingy, but you could see the longing in his eyes whenever you go out somewhere without him. Perhaps he'll read some manga or play some games while you're gone, but you'd be on his mind the entire time. If you do stay at home with him, which he absolutely loves, the whole day is often spent on the couch. He loves it when you comb through his hair, while he flips through a manga, and perhaps if you're interested in the same manga, you could talk about it for quite a while. On the same note, if the two of you play the same game, he's bound to play with you. Even if it's not multiplayer, he'll still be playing at the same time as you and playing with you. He'll guide you with whatever you need to know and perhaps steal some of your portion of the chips while he's at it, who knows.

When he's out, Jun is always seen on his phone when he's not working. He has a little smile as he looks at your social media account(s), liking your posts and even commenting on some with his more personal account and perhaps will even send you a few texts if he has a few more moments to spare. He calls every night, talking about his day as he lay on the bed, tired and ready to fall asleep. Sometimes, you do catch him fall asleep on call, and he's nothing but adorable.

TOMOE HIYORI ―　 escape.

To say Tomoe Hiyori was simply an escape mechanism is a mistake. It wasn't that he didn't allow you to escape the jaggedness of the cruel reality- no, not all all; it felt as if he had brought you to another world, shining with a bright sunlight the world lacked. He wasn't simply just an escape; he was another way of life.

The world didn't allow one to have such a carefree nature, yet Hiyori felt so carefree. It was a forceful wind which blew through the obstacles in the path, but when it reached you, you could only feel a light and airy wind, although it still maintained the properties of its forceful power to everything else. It was seemingly weak, as most assumed, even simply just annoying, yet it was something to behold, something to even fear if you received the wrong end of it.

If there was anything noticeable about Hiyori's behavior, it was how much he craved your attention. It was inevitable to feel his arms around your waist and his head resting on your shoulder, but if there was something that was hard to notice, it was that even just by being around you, being near you, hearing your voice, Hiyori felt complete. Of course, the attention thing was something he couldn't help but do, but simply being there with him made him just a little more complete.

If there was one thing that Hiyori hated, it was being separated from you. It was apparent to everyone who knew and even heard of him, but the reason was always "it's just his personality". That wasn't exactly right, though it wasn't quite wrong either. Sure it was a part of his personality, but there was more behind it. To him, you were a part of him, and letting go would only make him feel empty. In the morning, when the two of you woke up, you never really woke up- though, it was more like Hiyori didn't want to "wake up". Really, he was always awake before you, combing his hand through your hair and placing kisses on your neck and cheek, but he never wanted to get out of bed. He wanted to stay there, for all eternity, inside the peaceful escape he had built for the two of you. No matter where you were, both you and him, if you were together, it was a never ending escape from the cruelties of the world.

SHINKAI KANATA ―　 tranquility.

If the world was the big blue ocean, Shinkai Kanata was the ripples upon the beach-back and forth, back and forth, slowly but gently hugging upon the land. Whenever a typhoon came across the ocean and swept you away, you always ended back at the beach, washed up on shore hugged by the gentle tug of the clear water. It was the calmness away from the storm, the tranquility apart from the chaos.

His presence, whether he's there or not, is a stillness in the wind. Whether the wind is roaring or the rain is pouring, Kanata's presence is like a blanket of water, unchanging and undisturbed. He appears when you're in panic, and his words somehow clear the storm. Sometimes, it's because he sounds a little silly saying it, but his words are clear, the meaning is transparent.

His touch is soft, personally tailored to you. His hugs wrap around you ever so gently; you could never let go but if you did, it felt like his hold would break. His kisses are always light and soft, like the ocean wind weaving through your hair. When he holds your hand, his squeezes are always quick and his hands loosely intertwine with yours.

His words are always a little silly, but still, they're surprisingly serene. They're easy to laugh about, yet still not completely jokes- there was always some meaning behind each sentence. His words are often lighthearted, but when he's serious, you can always see a bright future ahead that he's promised, something that no one else can do in the uncertainty of the future. Even if the future is unknown, Kanata can be sure that everything will be alright, because you're with him.

WORD COUNT | 3,072 words

NOTES FROM QIAN | Hi, I know I'm supposed to be doing event requests... whoopsie. I will do them soon, promise. I had this idea and kind of went with it, haha. I really hope you enjoy it and hope it wasn't too much to read... also thanks to sophie @/baeshijima for inspiring me <333

Thus, as per usual when you demanded something, you walked yourself over to his office at his end of the estate, and knocked on the door. He answered right away, and he allowed you to come in. The guards opened the heavy wooden doors for you. Nobody wanted that post, for you would come all too often and they’d have to use too much of their strength for such a menial task as opening the door. You walked up to your father, and with that face, he knew you wanted something. He knew you, and that was a surprise to nobody.

“What would you like, my dearest daughter?” he asked, looking up at you from his desk, filled with ink, brushes, and countless scrolls, with others stacked behind him on the shelves.

“Father, I’d like to go to the academy to become a scholar,” you put on that “pretty please?” smile that usually got you what you wanted.

“... would you like to marry a scholar?” he asked. He must’ve thought you wanted to actually just go there to meet a man. “I can arrange for some nice men to meet you; you don’t need to go anywhere.”

“No! I’d like to become a scholar.” you asserted, once again. You thought you had made that perfectly clear in your previous statement, but apparently not. It was true that it was unheard of for a woman to become a scholar in all of history, but it couldn’t be that unbelievable for an accomplished woman such as you.

Your father looked at you once again, in utter disbelief. You understood that this clearly meant “no”, but you had no clue why.

“... I’m sorry my daughter, please leave for now. I have quite a lot of work to complete. I will see you at dinner later,” he looked back down to resume his work, and you were escorted out of the door. You ran all the way to your own quarters, grabbing a scroll along with ink and a brush. You were going to write him an essay explaining why you were qualified and that there were absolutely no issues with you becoming a scholar. You could bring great achievements to the family as well; perhaps your father was truly stupid- not that anyone else would agree with that statement, as someone who the emperor would occasionally ask advice from.

You spent the entire day writing this essay, and as the last drops of ink dried on the paper, you had this letter sent to your father before dinnertime. You hoped he’d read it before dinner and give you an answer during, but to your surprise, he was busy enough that he ignored your essay until dinnertime. He read it when he finished his meal and sighed. You were being stubborn, sure, but he also made a decision that made absolutely no sense. Thus, that was going to be changed.

“Listen, you’re a woman. You can’t be a scholar; women do not become scholars,” he sighed.

“Older sister! You wish to become a scholar? Why would you?” your younger brother asked, scared out of his mind by your request. Your mother simply sighed. Was it really so surprising? Even with your great wisdom?

“Yes, I wish to become a scholar, Yunru,” you replied to your brother. “It is a prestigious position, and it is something that I do enjoy.”

“Father, I do not understand why women cannot be scholars. I am smarter than even my brother, and many have called my wisdom almost comparable to yours, which is revered all across the empire. If I were a man, you would be eager to send me to the school. Yet, you reject me because I was born a woman,” you pleaded.

“As I’ve said, women do not become scholars. I cannot send you to such a place-” he tried to reason with you.

“Why? Is it illegal? I have not heard of such a law, and I am versed with the laws of the country,” you reasoned in return. Your father sighed, and he still refused your request. Thus, you stormed out of the dinner hall, and you locked yourself up in your room. You hung a scroll outside the door, which read, “I will not leave this chamber until Father grants me permission to study to become a scholar.” You were going to stay there, and if anything happened to you, it would be absolutely their fault. You were winning either way- revenge or simply getting your wish.

You stayed in your room more days than ever. You let no maids in your room, and you passed the time by writing stories and studying. You didn’t let them bring food to you either, for a more impactful effect. While you did get hungry, you had hidden a few snacks in your closet, so those were enough to keep you alive for a few days without a real meal. Of course, you loved the meals the chef cooked, and you’d ask him to make your favorite when you came out. But first, you would stay until father issued an apology and let you go to the academy to study.

In due time, as you expected, an apology scroll was delivered, and you were allowed to study in the academy. It detailed the steps you’d have to take to become a scholar, and while somewhat annoying, they were nothing compared to the excitement that you would feel when you finally become a scholar. You did have to bring a maid with you, and you selected Liling, a maid you could more easily dress as a man. You both had to dress and act like men, which you would gladly do for your dream.

It wasn’t long before the preparations were finished, and you were on your way to the academy. You quickly packed your bags, bringing only a few items- you actually didn’t want to be reminded of home too much. You said goodbye to your family, saying “Yes, from today on, I’ll be happy.” It may have implied that you were unhappy before, which was somewhat true. But in the future, you were going to be happy, and there was nothing to worry about. It was the most exciting day of your life, and you talked to Liling the entire way through. She was so tired of you talking that she fell asleep, but you couldn’t blame her. She was a pleasant one to talk to, and you liked her quite a lot.

“Oh, Liling, we need new names. We have to use manly names now. I’m going to use… Y/N. What about you?” you asked when she was awake. You turned your head from the window to her.

“I’m not quite sure my lady; I’m so good with male names. Maybe you could pick one out for me?” she responded.

“Hm… how about Liwei? It means profit and greatness- you like money, right?” you suggested, laughing just a little.

“You know me too well, my lady… ah- I should call you the young master from now, yes?”

“Yes, of course. I am a man now, the heir to my father’s estate, yes, yes.” “Haha, yes, absolutely, young master.”

When the two of you arrived at the academy, you were greeted by a staff member and were given a tour, which ended at the dorms. It was bigger than expected, and the library was absolutely impressive, even compared to your own library at home, which was quite nice in all aspects as well. Your father had booked the two of you a room of your own; all rooms were shared, so the best he could do was give you and Liling- now Liwei- a private space. After getting settled in, you decided to explore, which Liwei gladly did with you. It was really nice, for once, to walk without the watching eyes of the guards and maids at home. It felt free; it was wonderful.

“Young master, why don’t you try to make some friends instead of simply looking around? I think it would be nice to have a lot of people to talk to,” Liwei suggested, and you took it. Thus, you went around, greeting everyone and striking up conversations. You wouldn’t be able to do this as a woman; you would be called all sorts of names if you did. But your brother did this and was loved by all, and it was refreshing to enjoy something he had been able to enjoy all his life. You greeted all kinds of people: people from the north, people from the south, people from different wealthy families, people who wanted to be there, people who wanted to go home, and people of different ways of speaking. It was a really great insight to see people from all kinds of places in one place; for not a moment did you regret your decision.

You had to eat dinner before the sun had finished setting, and you and Liwei headed to the cafeteria to get something to eat. On your way there, two boys with strange orange hair and green eyes caught your attention, but you had to eat dinner before the cafeteria closed. It would close soon, so you had to eat quickly.

It wasn’t long until you got your classes sorted out, and you were scheduled to attend your classes sooner than you thought. Time passed more quickly to you, or maybe it was because you were having more fun; you were more free. The classes were different from the private tutoring you received at home, and it was actually pretty nice for a chance, even when there were a lot of people listening to the instructor. One of the classes you had on your first day was Confucian Principles, where you met one of the orange haired boys again. He was pretty cute, and his style was unique too; you’d never seen someone who looked like him around campus, besides the other one who looked like him. They were probably brothers.

You usually sat next to Liwei, but she had sprained her ankle while the two of you were having a race around the campus, so she was resting in the dorm room while you were in class. You planned to take notes and share them with her later. So, you decided to sit next to this guy; he seemed really nice, so you figured that it would be nice to take the seat next to him .

“Hello! I’m Y/N, do you mind if I sit next to you?” you asked, your hand on the chair next to his. He responded with a “mhm” and a smile, and you took the seat for yourself. He wasn’t uptight like a lot of people; he seemed human, free. He seemed like someone who wanted to live for himself, and that was something you admired about him right away.

“I’m Aoi Yuta; it’s nice to meet you!” he greeted you back. “And over there’s Hinata.”

“Hinata..? Who..?- ah, is that your brother?”

“Yes!”

“Class is starting now. Stop talking,” the teacher started class and everyone stopped talking. While he was talking, you still were able to take notes, but your mind was somewhere else; it was on the boy next to you. He was unique, and that was what was on your mind. Somehow, he was a breath of fresh air, one that was made of comfort and freedom. You didn’t know how, but he was a comforting presence. You wanted to talk to him, but the teacher was still talking. It was a new feeling, since you always had taken your lessons alone. The teacher was too focused on his lesson to find out if you weren’t paying attention, but he could hear any talking that happened in the room. But what if you weren’t talking, but writing? It would be like really short letters that were received instantly, since he was right next to you. You decided to try it.

Hey, are you listening to the teacher? - Y/N You wrote that on your paper, and shoved it close to where he would see it. He instantly got the message and wrote under it.

Yeah, but what about you? Are YOU listening? - Yuta You smiled as you got that message, and you quickly replied back.

Well, yes, but I already learned it, hehehe. Where are the two of you from? I’ve never seen any people like you before -Y/N

The two of you continued to pass notes to each other all throughout class, but it was okay. You could fill in the rest of the notes later. What was important was that you made a friend, a friend that you felt happy to be around. In women’s circles, you were to be friendly to everyone you didn’t want to make an enemy of, and you had to be careful of what words you said. Each and every meeting was a battlefield, against families who wanted to use their own personal gain. But with Yuta, it was genuine; it seemed like he wanted to be friends with you, that he liked you for who you were instead of your family name and honor. Perhaps it’s because you had a different identity now, but it was truly nice- and freeing.

As class ended, the students packed up to move to their next class, and you didn’t share any class times with him. “Oh, hey, would you like to join me for lunch later?” you asked, hoping to talk to him more.

“Yeah, sure! Do you mind if I bring my little brother along?” he responded, as he hurriedly rolled up his scroll.

“Why not? The more the merrier.”

“Great! See ya then!”

You waved back at him, and the two of you parted ways to go to your next classes.

Time flew by, and you headed to the cafeteria. As you walked, you smiled; you’d be able to see Yuta again!

“Boo!” someone yelled as they tapped your shoulder, causing you to flinch. It sounded like Yuta, but he wouldn’t be this energetic at this time of day, you’d thought. You look behind your back to see who it was, and it turns out it was the brothers arriving together. As you entered the cafeteria, you looked around for the food you wanted to eat. You ordered what you wanted to eat, and it turned out that the two of you ordered the same dish. You and Yuta laughed together, and when you went to get a table. You sat across with your food, with a plate for Liwei sitting next to you. You’d bring it to her after you ate before going to your afternoon classes.

All throughout lunch, you talked with the twins, about various topics. It wasn’t even school related, like you had done with the other people when you had tried to socialize with everyone the day you had arrived at the academy. They flowed naturally; it was easy to keep in conversation with them. Though, when the topic of your family and home life came up, all three of you were vague about it. Many openly boasted about their family’s achievements, but not any of you. You wondered what happened in the Aoi family, but you didn’t want to pry, especially since you had no need of telling who you really were. It was known that your father had just a daughter and a son, and you weren’t going as your brother.

The table was loud, and you were glad that none of you got scolded for it. It was probably one of the most fun conversations you’d ever had; you hadn’t laughed like that. There was never a time you hadn’t purposely laughed; all of them were an intentional action decided before it was done. Perhaps this real laugh was why everyone is told to imitate them.

During class, the two of you talked a lot- on paper, of course. The two of you had never gotten caught, and you didn’t intend to. In fact, you didn’t know if it was punishable, because there was no rule regarding that. You could use that to your advantage… especially since it wasn’t bothering anymore (It was mutual between the two of you, so none of you would be counted as being bothered). In any case, class became more of a hangout for the two of you than a class, and since you could simply study it on your own later, nobody really found out- except maybe the people sitting behind you. Maybe they saw; you didn’t know. They didn’t say anything.

You also often met at the library; your father had rented a private study room there, and you enjoyed it to the fullest, with Liwei, Yuta, and Hinata. Your father had rented it for you because you said you enjoyed studying alone, and he wanted to give you a big space to do that in. The dorm room was fine, since it was just Liwei, but you wouldn’t refuse this nice space. After all, it was right near all the scrolls you needed, and it was normally quiet. You couldn’t be as loud as you could be, of course, but the walls were thick enough that you could have a conversation without someone overhearing from the next room over. That was really nice; you never realized how nice privacy was before this. Sometimes, you would study, and other times you’d just hang out. You and Yuta would sit by the desk and doodle on paper while talking or just staring out the window while you talked; they were really quite calming.

“Liling, are… you failing?” you asked as she studied.

“Yes, young master. I’m not as smart as you, as I’m just a maid…” she sighed. She still needed to pass to stay though, and you weren’t going to let her go. Okay! New mission: raise Liwei’s grades.

“Alright! From now on, I’m going to teach you everything,” you put your hands to your hips.

“You don’t need to do that… just teach me the things I don’t understand.”

“That sounds better, actually. You know what, what if all three of us held study sessions and you tagged along during the break?” “Three of us?” “Me, Yuta, and Hinata.”

“Oh, the Aoi twins.” “Yeah. They’re pretty smart.” “That sounds great… but why am I just tagging along?”

“Wait- hold on. We three are going to become teachers. Yes, we’re going to teach you what you don’t know. And if there’s nothing for us to teach, we’ll just study for ourselves!”

“Are you sure?” “Yeah! We’ll go ask them tomorrow at lunch.”

“That sounds amazing! Thank you so much.” “Hehe, I’m not letting my best maid go just yet.’ “Ahaha, thank you, young master.”

The two of you met up with the twins at lunch again, as per usual, and you greeted Yuta with your shared hand clap. It was something the two of you would do, and it was fun. It was a greeting the two of you shared, and you loved it. Other students questioned it and found no use for it, but it was just for fun. There didn’t need to be any other reason to do anything as harmless as that. Some people said it was annoying, but they were maybe just jealous that they didn’t have anything like that for them and their best friends.

“Hey, Yuta, Hinata, I was thinking we could have a training camp during the break,” you suggested.

“Really? Sure, why not?” Yuta agreed. You were glad he didn’t pry; you knew Liwei didn’t want her grades to be known to everyone else in such a place.

“Yeah! Let’s do it; it sounds like a great idea!” Hinata was in on the idea. You all cheered to the group study sessions over break, and everyone was going to get smarter. Though, you were more excited to be spending more time with Yuta.

You made great use of the library room during this time; as everyone was on break, they took the time to go to town, sightsee, or simply rest- actually, the people who lived more nearby visited their family. Though, a lot of people came from places far across the empire, so many stayed during the break. You stayed there pretty much all day, either joking around or diligently studying, and Liwei would flick your heads whenever you fooled around too much. Somehow, you and Yuta talked to each other a lot, whether you were studying or not, leaving Liwei and Hinata to themselves. Whenever you remembered about them, you felt bad for ignoring them, but they had quickly learned to simply leave you alone when only Yuta was on your mind. Perhaps the same was for Yuta; they reacted the same to him as well.

One thing you did was that if everyone didn’t get something, you’d all think about how the previous scholars did it and everyone went to find the answer. Whether it was from the materials, you figured it out, or found someone who was willing to explain it to you, if you found it for the group first, you didn’t have to pay for lunch or dinner, either meal that day. It was a fun game, and one time you and Yuta had found it together, so both of you had gotten free dinner that day.

“Young master…”

“Yes, Liwei?” “I… something’s been weighing on my mind, and I haven’t been able to focus lately. I thin- I think I’m going to skip classes today, just to get myself sorted out. I’m sorry I’m not able to serve-” “Stop right there, we’re both skipping.” “Huh? No, you want to go to class, right?”

“Yes, but you’re more important to me. Who else has been by my side for this long? If I don’t take good care of you, I’m a failure of a master. Plus, I can call in sick too. I’m good at pretending; Yuta’s a good teacher at that. I’ve been learning all kinds of odd skills from him; it’s surprisingly fun to learn something useless. Anyways, in any case, we’re going to sort this out together, okay? Don’t worry about me; I can learn the material on my own anyways.”

“Thank you…” Liling cried on your shoulder, and you hugged her. All you could do was to hold her now and call in sick, which you did.

It took a while for her to calm down; you didn’t know what kind of news she received to have such a reaction. “Okay… I think I’m ready to talk about it.”

“I’m all ears, Liling.”

“I… think I like Hinata- but wait- I know that I can’t be with him. I’m here thanks to you, and I should be grateful that I got to be here. I’m just a maid, and he’s the son of a nobleman…”

Around lunch time, someone came to deliver food, and you pretended to be sick again just to keep up appearances. After classes ended, Yuta and Hinata dropped by, to check if the two of you were alright- no one had seen you all day, so they were worried about the two of you.

“Helloooo, anyone home?” they knocked on the door. You could tell it was them right away; you didn’t even bother looking sick to them. You opened the door, and you were greeted by a hug from Yuta. It was warm, and you melted in it. It had been a stressful day, and you didn’t want to let go.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” he asked, not having let go yet.

“Mhm… I’m fine, just uh, tired I guess? It’s been… a long day, for me and Liwei.” you separated from the hug.

You looked at Liling and Hinata, and you decided that it would be best if they talked it out. You took Yuta’s hand and bolted out of there, until you weren’t in sight. You found yourself outside of the school, entering the forest that was nearby. The school was at the edge of town and the forest was an easy place for the sounds of nature to be heard; many of the scholars liked having gardens and nature around. It was private too; not many actually went deep into the forest at all. Before long, you stopped to catch your breath, and it was a while until you had realized that you were still holding Yuta’s hand. You quickly took it back and looked away, trying to think of a response as to why you did that.

“Uhm-” Yuta pulled you into a hug, and you hugged him back. He knew exactly what you needed. You stood there, enveloped in his warmth. His presence was comforting, and the two of you stood in silence- a comfortable silence. You could feel each others’ breaths, but it didn’t feel weird. In fact, it was a sign that the both of you were at least somewhat okay.

“... Y/N, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Mhm,” you nodded your head, but you still didn’t let go. You told him what Liling had told you- and who Liling really was, though you didn't really tell about yourself- you knew he probably had a really good guess of who you were. Though, you weren’t ready to talk about that. The time would come… eventually. You did feel bad for telling him without Liling, but she wouldn’t mind; after all, it was the Aoi twins. Would they tell? Of course not. And plus, she probably told Hinata all about it already.

“... I… think we should let go…” you said, pulling away from the hug you had been standing in for who knows how long. He pulled back as well, and the two of you started to head back. After a short while, the awkwardness subsided, and the two of you began to talk and joke around as normal. It wasn’t long before the conversation the two of you just had was behind you, and you enjoyed each other’s company once more.

“You know, I’m so glad I met you, Yuta.”

“Really? Ahaha, I’m so glad I met you too, Y/N!”

“Mhm, thanks to you, I’ll keep moving forward, I’m not alone.”

It wasn’t long before the two of you returned to the dorm, to find that Liling and Hinata had already parted ways. You waved off to him, saying, “Good night! I love you!” and he responded with that adorable laugh of his. He set off to find his brother, and you kept Liling company. You wanted to ask what had happened, but you decided not to. She seemed to have found some kind of closure, and if you were to ask, you might have just opened it up again. So, unless she was going to tell you, you didn’t ask.

“Young master, there’s a letter from home,” Liling handed you a letter that had arrived for you. You weren’t expecting anything from them; it wasn’t time for their monthly check-in letters yet. As you opened it, you knew you were going to be disappointed. You sighed, and you opened the letter. It described that you were to return home, and you were to be wedded with the son of a rich family of the city closest to yoru village. You couldn’t believe this. After all this, living the life you wished to live, your dreams were taken away from you. Last time, you were able to- though childishly- with that tantrum. This time, faking your own death might be necessary. However, it would be quite a pain to do such a big task… and it would put shame on your own name as well. You hug Liling, knowing that she’ll be brought home as well. You had lived your best life in the academy, even though it was short. You were given fresh air, rather than the stale stench of strict society.

Perhaps you had your fill of life; now it was time to do your inevitable duty. It was something you had always hated; in fact, you were hoping it wasn’t going to happen, that your father loved you enough to not do this to you. But you were mistaken. Heartbreak after heartbreak; such was life, you supposed. You began to pack your bags, leaving no one notice. You couldn’t face Yuta with such news. You inquired about what Liling was going to do, and they were going to do the same. A carriage arrived for you the next day, and during class, you quietly got ready to go aboard to go home.

“Y/N! Wait! Where are you going?” his voice broke near the end of the sentence, and you almost burst into tears. Perhaps it was better that you became the villain instead, that he could move on from you and that he’d live a happier life without you.

“Yuta, the next time you see me, don’t trust me. I lied to you. Who I am isn’t who I showed; I will be returning now,” you said. You mouthed where you were going to him, perhaps as a way of begging for help. You didn’t want to do this, and perhaps, he could tell. Maybe he’d save you- but he probably couldn’t. What you said earlier wasn’t a lie, technically. You did lie to him; you lied to everyone in that school. You were returning to your old image. The you that existed during the time you spent in the academy was a different person, and it was going to stay there. There was nowhere you could show that anymore, so it minus well be dead. You got in the carriage with Liling, who was already crying. You consoled her as it started moving.

“Young ma- my lady, are you sure you aren’t going to rebel like last time?” Liling asked.

“... I don’t think I can escape this one, Liling. Though, I think I might’ve hurt his feelings by leaving so suddenly- but if I’d stayed longer, who knows what I would’ve done…” “I think you are.”

You froze. “Is it true? Am I only hurting him with this?” “Yes, my lady. Yes.”

The tears couldn’t stop.

“Hinata, I’ll be gone over break, and I’ll be missing for a few days after. Sorry… please cover for me.” Yuta rushed out, leaving a note on his brother’s desk. Yuta ran to town to find a carriage, and he finally found one going the way he intended to go after hours of searching. It was raining, and he was soaked, but he didn’t care. He was going to find you as soon as he could. The ride there was long and bumpy, but it was nothing compared to what was going on in his mind. It had only been a few days, yet he felt so empty. He missed your smile, your voice, the way you never wanted to let go of his hugs. There were things left unsaid, but was it better if they weren’t? It was a wonder, how you got him to do things he would have never imagined doing before. Skipping classes? Leaving Hinata like this? Leaving and maybe not being able to come back?

When he arrived, he immediately asked for you, but he was very quickly turned away by the guards. No outside men were to come in contact with you until the wedding. He then asks to see Liling, who was brought to see him. “Hi.” “Oh, Yuta. What can I do for you?” Liling spoke in the monotone voice she always used to greet guests, void of life. She was like a completely different person; he saw nothing of the girl who had cared for you during the time you were in the academy.

“What’s happening? Where can I see Y/N?” Yuta needed to see you. There was this feeling, the feeling that if he didn’t meet you now, he’d lose you forever.

“Yuta… there’s no escaping this one. She’s smart, but she can’t find a way to escape the situation. She would’ve wanted to escape from this too, but she can’t.” “What can I-” “The best you can do is propose to her and hope that the arrangements for the previous marriage hadn’t been settled yet. I’m not able to provide any other information. Good luck, Yuta.”

She escorted him to the guest room, where he waited until your father came to receive him. You were popular and had many marriage requests from many neighboring cities, but he had never come across one who had come himself. That was something that he admired; it was something he did for his wife. When he had to make a decision, though, it was always house over family. House over family. He would use what he gained from his esteemed achievements for his family, but he would never do something for his family that put the family name at risk. It was the only thing he could do for his ancestors.

Yuta was soon kicked out after being rejected and told to never return. “It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault.” he mumbled to himself as he walked back out to go somewhere, go anywhere. He didn’t have much purpose left. Hinata would probably be fine without him. He broke into tears. It wasn’t long before he felt numb, empty. He found a place to rest, somewhere at least somewhat comfortable. He wanted to laugh, laugh a pity for himself. He couldn’t do anything, anything for the one he loved. All he could do is laugh at himself for his own incompetence. Yet he couldn’t even laugh. He had forgotten to.

“Maybe I could just sleep it off. Yes, I just need to go to sleep. I just need to go to sleep again. That’s it. I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling better.” Then and there, he fell asleep and never woke up.

“My lady, wake up. It’s the day of your wedding; we need to get you ready for it,” Liling woke you up. You groaned, not wanting to be separated from the covers. You were dreaming, dreaming of Yuta. Ever since you had left, you had dreamt of him every day. You dreamed of a life with you and him together, but you knew you couldn't do that. Inevitably, it fueled your urge to resist, though your mind told you that it was impossible- and it was right. There was no point in doing something that only brought negative effects in the hope of an imaginary positive outcome.

During the day, you were dolled up; maids from your mother’s chambers prepared you by putting on your makeup, dressing you in your dress, and placing bedazzling gold and jewels. Your wedding dress was bright red, a symbol of love and luck. That’s what it was meant to symbolize, but nothing about this day had any love or luck. It was planned, hard and cold.

When you had finished, you were placed in a carriage to be sent to your future husband’s town, where you were to spend your entire life. It was raining, pouring, too much for your carriage to continue. It may have been a bad omen, but no one spoke about it on this day. You got out of the carriage, and Liling held an umbrella above both of your heads. You were curious to see who was in the tomb which laid on the side of the road, and as you approached it, a dreadful feeling emerged. A name was engraved on it: Aoi Yuta. You ran from under the umbrella, off the stone pathway and into the muddy grass field. You were soaked, but it never once crossed your mind. You went inside, to find a coffin, presumably Yuta’s. It was painted pitch black, and by the looks of it, it was painted very recently. Guilt hit upon you. What would’ve happened if you had simply resisted your father? It wasn’t worth it anymore, living like this. What was to care about, if you couldn’t breathe the air of freedom you so longed for? Was it worth it to live without it?

You approached the coffin, your footsteps ever so audible. As your hand neared the paint, it opened just so slightly, and you used your hand to open it further. Yet, it was empty.

When Liling arrived at the tomb, she went inside to look for you, only to see two orange butterflies exit into the newfound sunlight.

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ qian ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

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✦➤ When she met you, she was bedazzled, to say the least. Many had compared her to the legendary mermaids in praise, but upon seeing an actual mermaid, she couldn't help but think that you're stunning. Despite mermaids and other similar creatures being worshipped, especially on Watatsumi Island, you were so different. It wasn't that you were extremely different than expected; it was that you were real, right in front of her, and that was amazing.

✦➤ Something she loved about you was that she didn't have to be a leader to you. She didn't have to be the Divine Priestess in front of you; she was just Kokomi. It was not only refreshing; it was comforting. To everyone else, she was a title and responsibility, even to the closest of her friends. She had a duty to fulfill to them, but not to you.

✦➤ She loves swimming with you. Kokomi loves putting up her burst and running across the water while you race who can go the farthest. When it runs out, she loves it when you catch her. Sometimes you'll float in the shallow waters with her, splashing about and making jokes.

✦➤ If the two of you meet after dinner, Kokomi will bring snacks to share by the sea. Sometimes you'll even feed some of the nearby fish too, and they'll show up more often too. If she can't stay long, she'll dip her hands just a little. Don't kiss her hand before she dries her hand though; she won't want to dry her hands before returning, then.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : lili’s notes…

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

➽ please rb if you liked this! it would make me so happy <3

➽ masterlist

➽ taglist: @paradise-creator @fuhuashandholder @kazuqha @akirasgalaxy

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

How the two of you meet is purely by chance. You were helping out around Wangshu Inn since the owner, Verr Goldet, had helped you out in the past.

Seeing how the stars were out, you had decided to go up to the roof to take a brief break.

Xiao is on his way to wage the wars like he always does when he stops in surprise. It’s quiet. Around this time of night, it’s usually quiet, but this time even the voices inside his head seem to have quelled. Brows crinkling in confusion, he doubles back, and that’s when he sees you.

You’re leaning against the railing, enjoying the gentle evening breeze.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” A curt voice has your eyes snapping open in an instant.

Whirling around, you come face to face with a pair of amber eyes, glowing even in the dark. Verr Goldet had mentioned of him, the adeptus who leaves in the middle of the night to fight unimaginable battles. Xiao, the vigilant yaksha.

“Adeptus Xiao,” you bow in apology, “I’m sorry to have disturbed you.”

Xiao steps out from the shadows, lithe like a panther, and just as silent. “You know of me,” the scowl on his face is severe. You nod, “Then you should know not to hang around me. Leave. Now.”

“Wait-” But before you can plead your case, Xiao is already gone.

“You’ve already met Xiao?” Surprise crosses Verr Goldet’s face when you inquire about Xiao the next day, “That’s not bad. It’s not often he’s in a good enough mood to agree to see people.” She laughs softly, “But you mustn’t be too disheartened. Slaughtering the souls of so many spirits has racked up enormous amounts of karmic debt for the poor fellow. It’s not his fault he’s usually so brusque. He’s in an immense amount of pain.”

Your heart squeezes in sympathy at her words. The idea of anyone being in pain for thousands of years is not particularly appealing to you. “Is there any way to relieve that pain?”

Verr Goldet shakes her head sadly, “Human medication doesn’t work on the adepti. However, he might be in a better mood if you give him a bowl of almond tofu. It is one of the few human foods that Xiao likes.”

And so, with great care, you make a bowl of the silkiest almond tofu, and carry it up the stairs.

“Xiao? Adeptus Xiao?” You call it out softly. It’s only a matter of seconds before the leaves of the potted plant rustle next to you.

“You’re back,” displeasure is evident in the catlike eyes. Xiao glares at you. “I told you, mortal souls are not as robust as those of adepti, nor can your blood carry this level of adeptal energy.”

“Ah, I didn’t mean to disturb you,” you offer the bowl sheepishly, and notice the way Xiao’s nostrils flare. “I just made some almond tofu and was wondering if you’d like some?”

A muscle in his jaw twitches, “Are you trying to bribe me, mortal?”

Panic crosses your face, and for some reason, Xiao finds the action almost amusing. He presses his lips together. “No! It’s nothing like that! I just heard this is your favorite and I wanted to make it for you as an apology for disturbing you last night!” The explanation is rushed, words tumbling over one another.

Xiao crosses his arms, “Fine, I accept your offering and in return, I’m willing to protect you. But don’t think about getting close, and stay out of my way, or all that awaits you is regret.”

He leaves you that night with these words, an oath.

If you cannot bring yourself to kill – speak my name If you awake to a knife at your throat If monsters dig their claws into you If death comes knocking at your door Call my name, Adeptus Xiao I’ll be here when you call

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Ever since that fateful night, the two of you do end up getting close, much to Xiao’s chagrin. You were curious to know about him, and keen to find a way to alleviate his pain. And for Xiao… Every time you came into his vicinity, the screams of agony would mysteriously quieten. He couldn’t understand it, nor could he figure out the mechanics. But he could not bring himself to part with you either. The silence was addictive, calming. And unknowingly, he begins to enjoy the moments that he spends with you, with your incessant chattering that should be an annoyance to him. Xiao would never admit it, but the sound of your voice soothes him, just like how the sound of the Dihua flute did many centuries ago.

The few people that Xiao had unwillingly let into his life began to notice these changes about him. Whenever Xiao was with you, or had just spent time with you, while still reserved, he appeared much more relaxed. They deduced that it was all due to you. Whatever your methods were, they were not interested. They were simply happy to see the adeptus no longer in pain.

Without voices screaming in constant pain inside his head, Xiao became less terse. But if you or anyone mention any of these changes, Xiao would instantly revert to the Xiao of before. So people would take great care in not teasing the adeptus, lest he unleashes his anger once again.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

“Are you really not going to see the lanterns?” You trail helplessly behind Xiao as he makes his way up to Wangshu Inn’s balcony.

“No,” his answer is clipped, “I am not partial to crowded areas. Especially at this time of the year.”

“But…the people of Liyue are celebrating the adepti for saving their city. You’re one of the heroes,” you try to argue.

Xiao scoffs, annoyance thick in his voice, “The Lantern Rite is nothing but a time for humans to discard their glowing trash into the sea. I’d rather not witness it.”

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, “What if…I want to go with you?” the confession is hushed as you flush.

There is a silence that follows after your words. Xiao finally stops to look at you, “Why would you want me there? I’m…nothing like those people. Too long have I spent slaughtering, accompanied by the burden of suffering that follows in its wake. Crossing paths with all those jubilant people will only make me…” He trails off, lips thinning when he realizes what he said. Xiao jerks his gaze away.

“…Xiao…” your voice is sad, and he immediately bristles.

“Don’t you dare pity me,” Xiao scowls.

You raise your hands in defeat, sighing. “Then can you at least keep me company on the way to Liyue?”

He eyes you suspiciously, and when he deems you honest, he nods. “Fine, but only to the city. That’s it.”

True to his word, Xiao wordlessly escorts you to the outskirts of the harbor, before leaving you with a gruff “Stay vigilant.”

Unbeknownst to you, after he sees you off, Xiao retreats to a distant hill. There, he sits with a weary sigh as he watches over the city.

Humans were such silly creatures, believing that writing down words on pieces of wood would make their dreams come true. Xiao could not fathom the way mortal minds worked. It’s tradition, he supposes. Humans like tradition.

With another sigh, he begins to wait for the sky to darken. Because come every Lantern Rite, there is always an abundance of evil spirits taking advantage of the joyous occasion to wreak havoc. And like always, it is up to Xiao to vanquish them.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

“Hello old friend, this is a pleasant surprise,” a deep voice sounds behind him and Xiao stands up respectfully.

“Sir…” he greets the former Archon.

Zhongli waves a hand, “It’s nice to see you at the Lantern Rite Festival, however…it seems as though the young lady isn’t with you.”

The casual mention of your name causes Xiao to flush, and he makes to leave, a puff of annoyance escaping his mouth, “I only made sure she arrived in the city safely.” He squirms under Zhongli’s knowing gaze.

“Hold on,” the simple command bides Xiao pause, amber eyes widening slightly in question. The elegantly-clad man smiles, “It has been a while, surely you can spare me a bit of your time. Come, let us chat,” he invites warmly as he casts an arm over the city. Bright spots of orange begin to glimmer in the sky like fireflies in the night. The people of Liyue are beginning to set off their lanterns and it won’t be too long before the indigo sky will be lit ablaze. Quietly, Xiao waits patiently for Zhongli to speak.

Brief moments of peaceful silence passes while the God of Contracts observes the flowing, golden river of lanterns. “How long has it been since we’ve known each other?” He finally asks, eyes still trained on the very city he had built from nothing.

“A very long time,” Xiao responds with a soft sigh before begrudgingly crossing the short distance between them to stand by Zhongli’s side.

There is a rueful smile at Xiao’s answer. “Indeed. Over these prolonged years, you, my dear friend, have experienced much agony, caused by my own hand. That is one of my greatest regrets to date.”

Xiao frowns, “But I don’t mind it. You saved my life.”

“Ah,” the Geo Archon nods, “You and I have a contract, which you have performed your part outstandingly. But it appears that you have received the short end of the stick. Which is why, dear friend, I think our contract will come to an end.”

“Sir-”

“You have fulfilled your end of the contract, Xiao,” Zhongli cuts off Xiao’s protest, “Exceedingly well beyond my very expectations. It is time for this contract to end, and time for you to discover how to live for yourself instead of following the orders of others.”

A pregnant pause holds over the two men as Xiao processes Zhongli’s words. “And what about the people of Liyue?” He asks finally, “What will happen to them now that I will no longer be vanquishing all these evil spirits?”

There is a satisfied smile which spreads over Zhongli’s face, almost as if he had been expecting Xiao’s question. “Mortals are stronger than you have previously believed them to be,” he says, “They can withstand great calamities.”

“Mere mortals cannot defeat gods,” Xiao scoffs brusquely, “They are weak.”

“Weak compared to you and I, perhaps,” Zhongli nods, “But no matter the occasion, they are resilient creatures. If they get knocked down, they will stand back up, always ready to take on any hardships that come their way. Look at the aftermath of Osial. Tell me, does this appear to you, a city that has given up?” He gestures at the lively harbor, sounds of celebration can be heard even from where they are. There are delicious scents that permeate the air and Xiao could see the people of Liyue laughing as they enjoy their festivities. Merriment envelopes the city. The majority of the lanterns had been set off, bathing the night sky in a golden glow, which rivals that of the stars. “Have a look at this,” the god stretches out an arm, and miraculously, a paper lantern floats gently into his waiting hand. “Humans place their dreams on such a tiny thing,” he takes out the wooden slip hanging inside the lantern, “This mere piece of wood holds the wish of one such individual willing to believe. That is rather admirable, I say.”

“It’s pathetic,” Xiao scowls, face scrunching in distaste, “This wood cannot protect them in times of danger. It cannot grant them great wealth or longevity, nor can it give them happiness.”

Zhongli smiles knowingly as he agrees, “Of course, but they are willing to believe that it could. Such optimism is commendable, no? What’s wrong with the humans wishing on a piece of wood? It causes no harm, yet it is something that gives them hope. Something to live for. Even if this world does come to ruins, would it not be better having hope by your side?”

How you love the things I hate about myself That no one knows, but with you, I see hope again

Xiao is silent, but even he is unable to block the thought of you from his mind. You believed in these things, you believed that wishing on pieces of wood would grant your wishes. You were lively and full of hope, something Xiao could never imagine. You were the only one willing to disregard all the warnings he had given you, and somehow, whatever magic you possessed, had rid Xiao of the agony that raged relentlessly inside his head. And you were human, just like all of the people in the harbor that he can see right from where he is standing.

“Everyone deserves happiness,” the Geo God speaks up softly, “Including you, Xiao. Everyone deserves to have hope, to know what is it that keeps them going. Learn from the mistakes I have made. A world that you have fought hard to keep safe, but without the person who matters most in that world… Is that such a world worth living in?” He hands Xiao the wooden slip he had taken from the lantern. Xiao turns it over in his hand wordlessly to look at the wish that whoever it was had written.

I wish for Xiao to be happy

And darling, this is more than anything I felt before You're everything that I want, but I didn't think I'd find

All the air leaves Xiao’s chest as he stares down at the wish, at your wish. The handwriting is obviously yours; Xiao had seen it plenty of times when you would leave notes for him. He’d memorized every swoop, every line, every curl.

“Wh-what is this?” Xiao’s voice is shaky, and he swallows hard. There is a foreign feeling stuck in his throat, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remove it.

The former Archon turns to face him finally, “Go on, dear friend, find your happiness. Find your hope. Find something in this world worth living for. The light of these lanterns is supposed to bring the protectors of Liyue home, and so I hope it can do something for you as well. You have been in this world for so long, and yet all you have experienced is pain and suffering. It’s time to be free. You’re living, but are you truly alive?” The question makes Xiao pause, but the god continues. “From this day forward, I, Morax, declare the end of our long-held contract, due to both parties fulfilling all the stipulations. I’m setting you free, dear friend. You’re free. I sincerely hope that you can live for yourself from now on. You no longer have to complete the arduous task of vanquishing demons. Unfortunately, I cannot do anything about your karmic debt, but…” There is a pleased upturn of Zhongli’s mouth, “It appears that you have already found something to cure your ailments.”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

You’re wandering the streets of Liyue, tasting all the delicacies being offered from the various food stalls. A smile dances absentmindedly on your face as you savor the festivities, but somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to enjoy everything wholeheartedly. There is a forlorn sigh as you perch on the edge of an empty boat, face turned upward to watch the lanterns float away. If only Xiao was here…

Immediately you berate yourself, knowing full well that the amber-eyed adeptus hated crowds. You sigh dejectedly again, dangling your legs underneath you as you take out the second wooden slip. Staring at it sadly, another sigh escapes you, knowing that Xiao didn’t believe in wishes. But you couldn’t entirely quash the longing feeling. It would’ve been wonderful to set off lanterns together with Xiao.

“Why would you waste a wish on me?” A gruff voice suddenly sounds behind you, and you easily startle. There is a resigned sigh before a hand grasps your arm. It pulls you up. You straighten to face the disgruntled man, but his previous words does not go unnoticed by you.

You’re unable to stop the grin from spreading across your face. “Waste a wish?” You repeat, taking great delight in the way Xiao averts his eyes. “It’s only wasted if it doesn’t work. And it’s wasted if it doesn’t hold any value. So you do believe in wishes then!” The glee in your voice is unmistakable.

Why do I get so nervous when I look into your eyes? And butterflies can't stop me falling for you

Xiao coughs, and you quickly note how the tips of his ears flush pink. “Pesky mortal,” he grumbles. There is a flick of his wrist and the wish you had sent up to the heavens earlier lands in your hand. “You’re supposed to wish for something for yourself. Is that not the tradition?”

“The wish is for myself,” you say defensively, fingers wrapping around the wood with care. Golden pupils narrow at you, but you continue. “You’re important to me, and therefore, this wish is completely and selfishly, for me and myself only.”

“You really-” Xiao cuts himself off. His arms cross and he aims a glare at the spot behind your shoulder. “Pathetic…” the usual comment is half-hearted.

His actions seem uncharacteristically tense. It makes you eye him curiously, “Is something the matter? I thought you said you wouldn’t come no matter what.”

Lips flatten in disapproval before Xiao sighs in defeat, “The contract…has ended…” The words are mumbled out, but you hear him clearly.

“Does that mean you no longer have to fight the evil spirits?” Surprise floods your voice, and Xiao jerks his neck stiffly, akin to a curt nod. “But what about…the karmic debt?”

“Well…” Xiao begins. He straightens and you swear that you can see something fierce shining within his amber pupils. “I think…I found a cure.”

“That’s…that’s great! What is the cure?” Xiao’s chest tightens at the genuine happiness in your voice and a ghost of Zhongli’s words whispers in his head. Find something in this world worth living for.

And he knew you were that something. That someone. The person who makes life worth living.

“You”

Someone who is worth the wait of all the years of my heartbreak But I know now I found the one I love

Your head tilts in confusion.

“I’m only going to say this once, so listen close,” Xiao’s low voice cuts you off before you can ask. With wide eyes, you nod and Xiao swallows. “I’ve lived…for thousands of years and battled countless monsters and demons. The karmic debt that has accumulated was my burden alone to carry. The first time I ever felt relief was centuries ago. The second time…was when I met you…”

His confession is startling, and it renders you mute. Me?

“I don’t know how you came to possess such powers…but every time I am with you, you somehow manage to remove all traces of pain. I tried to steer clear of you because I didn’t want my karmic debt to affect you, and yet, it seems it has no effect. So…I want to…know more about you. I want to get close to you. Because it seems that you…are my cure.”

“Xiao…” you whisper, feeling tears spring to your eyes, and you wipe at them hastily out of habit lest Xiao makes a remark about mortals being weak. However, he doesn’t and is content to gaze at you. The flush on his ears has traveled to his cheeks, but his amber eyes blaze with a fervor that you have never seen.

“In addition to knowing more about you, I would also like to learn about the humans, about life. Will you…be willing to teach me those things? In return…I will…stay by your side.” I will protect this mortal and slay any monsters that come her way, Xiao vows silently.

“Okay,” you nod as you sniffle. Xiao breathes a silent sigh of relief at your answer. “I’d like that.” You break out in a shaky grin. “We can start with this,” with that, you retrieve the wooden plaque that you had bought earlier. “Why don’t you make a wish? We can send it off together.” Xiao takes the blank wood from you hesitantly. “What do you want, Xiao? Whatever you want, that will be your wish.” You help him out.

I wish for her to be happy, healthy, and safe

The words form instantaneously in his mind at your question. Silently, he writes the words down on the wood and hands it back to you with it facedown. He watches as you light a candle with care before setting it gently in a metal cradle at the base of the lantern. A smile dances unconsciously across your lips, and you hang both wooden wishes inside the lantern. His and yours.

“Ready?” You ask, your face bathed in a golden glow. Xiao nods. His hand comes to cradle yours. The two of you watch as the lantern floats away from your hands.

Humans are silly creatures, Xiao supposes, but there is a certain kind of beauty attached to the image of the little lantern floating against the darkened sky.

A being such as Xiao, might be weary of a world that he had spent thousands of years slaying demons. But such weariness no longer exists for Xiao.

Because this world has you

Come close, let me be home I know it's worth it

Fin.

A/N II: Now I know what most of you are thinking. And it's probably along the lines of "Wow, Ela has been writing so much fluff lately, is she okay, whatever happened to angst, blah blah blah." I get it, I'm confused myself as well. Anyways, more fluff is coming and then I'll be unleashing my angst series *evil laugh* so enjoy this while it lasts. Also, Happy New Year! Thank you guys so much for all the love and support I have received this year. I honestly cannot thank you guys enough. Just know I love and appreciate every one of you ♡

TAGGING: @urujiako, @aph-disabledmusician

If you would like to be on the taglist for my future works, please send an ask or message my way! 💖

usually has lofi music in the background of his streams !!

when he first started out as a streamer, he didn’t have his webcam on, so his viewers could only hear his voice !!

not that they were complaining bc, well, who can resist zhongli’s deep voice ? 👩‍🦯

but one day, one of his viewers asked why he doesn’t use a webcam 

and this man just ,,,,

Dear

My one and only didi Genesis @abyssheart ,

Thank you for being my first follower (that’s why you’re at the top of this whole long mf-ing essay </3 I’m sparing you the agony of scrolling as a first follower privilege HAHA) and being so supportive of me. Thank you for always being so encouraging and understanding towards me as well.

We don’t talk as much anymore but I miss you and I still care very much about you. It’s always fun to talk to you and I remember when I first joined your server, I laughed a lot seeing your conversations. I don’t remember whether you’re back, but I hope that you’re having fun on your roadtrip!

I love your writing very much (I still have the screenshot from the 100 follower matchup you did forme in my favourites, if you didn’t know ;>). I hope that you find joy from writing as much as I do from reading what you write. Ilysm and looking forward to your writings in 2022 <3

My beloved meimei J @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst ,

I don’t know if you will see this, but when you do, I want you to know that I’m so thankful for you. You are one of my first friends in Genshinblr and you will always be my beloved sister. I may not have seen the whole thing, but I know for a fact that you’ve grown into a better person from when I first met you. Just so you know, there are things that I look up to you for and things that I’ve learnt from you as well.

Thank you for listening to me talk about bullshit and listening to me talk about the two series that I haven’t even freaking started.

We both know it’s going to be difficult next year, but I will be here for you whenever you need it. Literally anything and I’ll see what I can do for you. I’ll miss you but I’m happy that you’ve found things that you want to work towards. Remember that I’m always rooting for you and I want you to be happy.

For 2022, I wish you courage and strength to push through the year. I hope that even with the hardships, you’ll be able to have moments and events that’ll make you happy, no matter how little. Ily <3

My lovely mei Sarah @almondoufu ,

I used to think to myself, “HAH, wouldn’t it be funny if I made a friend online by helping them with homework?”. To think that it actually happened and you’ve become one of my closest online friends even though we didn’t talk as much HAHA. Thank you so much for allowing me to become friends with one of the best Genshin writers (YOU BTW) and checking in on me when I was having my exams.

I check up on your blog every now (well definitely not because I want to know how you’re doing). I recently came across an ask where you said, “go easy on yourself. coming from me it’s a bit hypocritical since i’m a perfectionist, but the way to get better at writing is to practice. so if your first fifty works are terrible, that doesn’t matter bc it’s all practice for the things you’ll write and be proud of later”. And well damn I saved it down bc I always feel shit about my writing and yk that really helped me.

You know that letter you posted before the New Years? I read it and I almost teared up. I’m so happy for you that you became someone that you wanted to be. I’m so proud of being able to know you, a person who overcame all her difficulties and grew into a person she liked. I may be older than you, but you’ve grown so much more than me and there’s so much I can learn from you.

Have a wonderful year ahead from your jie and ilysm. I hope that 2022 will be a year that you envision it to be :>

Ball of Sunshine Meimei Jia @ohmykazuha ,

You’re a huge blessing to the Genshinblr community and we are so lucky to have you. I’m so thankful for all the positivity and love you give to the community, as well as the events that you do.

I really look up to how you always do your best, how you’re so sweet and how you’re so optimistic. At this point of writing, it hit me that I haven’t really interacted much with you personally. I hope that in the next year, we’ll be able to chat more.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, I want you to know that I’ve got your back and I’m rooting for you. Remember to give yourself a breather at times and have sufficient rest okay. When looking out for all of us, don’t forget to look out for yourself. And always remember the first line of this paragraph.

Thank you for being my mei. Ilysm, I hope that you have a wonderful, fantabulous 2022 that you deserve <3

The Barbara to my Jean Angie @yuezhong ,

In a good way, I don’t even know where to start *keyboard smashes*. I don’t think I really stand out in the sea of people from Genshinblr and it’s no one’s fault. But you make me feel remembered. Whenever there’s an ask game, you tag me most of the time, if not, always. It’s a really little thing, but I want you to know that I appreciate it so much.

I love getting tiktoks from you. I’m sorry that I’m terrible at responding, but I want you to know that I appreciate you so much for sending them. I seriously wish my fyp had more Zhongli content for me to share to you, but it’s getting more messed up on it’s own smh. I’m getting less Genshin content there I get annoyed with my fyp, but you always send me the Childe stuff I want to see.

Thank you for being so encouraging during my exam period and looking out for me.

I think you already know this, but I want you to know that you can always hit me up. Anything. Even if you just want to say something about Zhongli? Yes.

For being so sweet, you deserve a wonderful and fulfilling 2022 and I wish that your year will be so.

Big Deal™️ Mint @sohyuki ,

Idc, ur a Big Deal to me bc I remember the time my dash was filled with people accusing you of being a Childe kisser (and it was fuNNY)!!!

We haven’t interacted much, but from the few interactions we had, thank you for being so easy to talk to! I’m really happy whenever I see you on dash. Just so you know, every time you do, I just want to hop into your replies and askbox (but I don’t because I don’t wanna annoy you HAHA).

I saw you’ve been feeling down a while ago and I hope that you’re feeling a lot better now! I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you so here I want to say that, I love your writing sm. I’m so excited whenever I see your writing going around on dash. And just so you know, thanks to one of your writing, I’ve decided if a boy won’t peel oranges for me I’m not dating them HAHAH. Whenever you need to, please remember to take breaks!! If you ever need my help for anything, please know that you can reach out to me.

Thank you for becoming friends with me and have an amazing 2022.

One of the coolest people Koi @chichikoi ,

We haven’t talked much but I’ve gotten so used to seeing you on my dash every day. I think there was a period you didn’t and it felt kinda weird. So yk I just want you to know that I appreciate you and care about you, even if we may not have interacted a lot.

I’ve always wanted to get closer to you. I remember feeling super happy and ??!! /pos when you followed me, even when I shifted blogs. But man I’m such an awkward shit bc you’re 2 cool 4 me, way out of my league. I never knew there were leagues in friendships until I met you /lh /j. But I want you to know that if there’s anything u need me to help u with or anything u want to say to me, you can always come drop in my inbox.

I wish you an amazing 2022 and that the year will be good to you next year <3

My fellow Yuuta + Eugeo appreciator Irene @wispycecilia ,

The way we just hit it off was so immaculate. I’ve been here a while, but it’s the first time I actually had a decent conversation about a character or series with someone that I’ve nEVER talked to before.

You will always be my Yuuta and Eugeo (now that I think about it, both of them have their romanised names starting with “yu” KHSAKJHSKJH). You can hit me up in dms, asks or mention me in your posts any day to talk about them. I’d love to listen to brainrot about yuta SDJHHSHDSHFLKSJh. I hope the movie goes to your country soon so you can enjoy the movie!!

One of my mutuals I've been friends with for the longest time @kazuqha Mimi,

Wow, it's been almost 2 years since I met you through the Haikyuu fandom and I'm back to interacting with you because of Genshin <3

I feel like I have so many things to say thank you for or maybe it's just that I have for you a whole armful of gratitude I don't know how to express using words. Thank you for letting me become one of the mods on your server. My whole Genshin journey on tumblr wouldn’t have started if you said no. I made so many friends on your server who share the love for Genshin.

Thank you for fuelling my love for Childe by sharing tiktoks with me. As each day passes, I get down so bad below the floor I’m starting to wonder where rock bottom down bad is but I love it anyway.

Have a wonderful year ahead, lovely Tianquan of Liyue Harbor

Tart kisser attacker @almond-adeptus Almond,

Hello angst demon, I’m still waiting for you to attack me /j. It’s a joy to see you on dash because it’s hilarious how you’re always out for the other Childe kissers.

I don’t remember how my blog looked initially, but it’s a huge compliment for me when you said “warm and cosy when it's snowing outside”. I take it that I’m very approachable then /j. And hey I’m sure you’re the one with the good ideas!! I still remember that Childe and Kimi no Na Wa crossover that you were talking about in dash.

We haven’t interacted for very long, but I always find it enjoyable to engage in brainrot with you and talk to you about ideas. Ngl I always thought his thigh garter was seggsy (I’m laughing as I type this) but that post you made me think further about how it could actually be used.

Thank you for running the childe rp blog as well *laughs nervously about the rp I left hanging*(I’m sorry I haven’t gotten to it in a while :”””>).

I look forward to more brainrot and screaming about ideas with you next year hehe. Have a good 2022 :>

Another pogass user Dex @xiao-cafe ,

Thanks for sending me that dumb Childe pic for EBG HAHAHA. In return, I’m sending you willpower right now to finish the remainder of your next semester (if you have any? Bc my friends are gonna have their last sem for 2nd year fkshglsdj I don’t think I’ve truly gotten a hang of how poly works). I know we haven’t really talked much and all, but you’re a pretty cool person to me. Idk why you just give cool people vibes.

It’s probably a really small thing to you, but thanks for liking and reading the stuff I shitpost. To me, those little things tell me that yeah we’re still mutuals and it makes me a lot less intimidated to interact with you (just that I haven’t as much as I wanted bc I’m not sure what to say kdshfksjdhk).

I hope that you’ll have a good 2022 and thanks for being here for my 2021 :>

Kiznaiver friend Taz @help-wtf-am-i-even-doing ,

We haven't interacted for a while and I hope that you've been doing well! You're still the only person that I've really had a conversation with about Kiznaiver. Thank you for having that conversation with me about Kiznaiver and it's a conversation that I won't forget for a super long time.

I really enjoy the posts you reblog on my dash too, your sense of humour is *chef's kiss*.

Have an amazing 2022 and thank you for being a part of my 2021.

A very fun, lovable friend @bookuya

BOO I should have found more opportunities to talk to you so much earlier aaaaaaaaaaaa. You’re such a fun person that I can just wild with.

Also holy cow thank you for being so supportive to me! Ur compliments to me in your ask pls 😭.

Did you know that you’re one of the first few people I follow in Genshinblr? I really enjoy your works and I read them whenever they show up on dash. I remember raiding the Childe one but I might not have rb-ed it back then so time to add it to my todo list. I think your stuff doesn’t really show up on my dash because of timezones and because I follow more people rn, but with the taglist you’re not escaping me >:)

I wish you an amazing 2022 and I hope we can have more fun together heheheheh

@simplyxsinned @cxlrose @kamiyatos @mikachuchu @stellumi @kriaeya @caracalia @astrealia @bluexiao @siluc @lilikags

I'm sorry that I don't have an individual message for you, but I wanted you to know that I am really really really grateful for the little interactions we had. Be it talking in servers, interacting with my writings and blog (liking, reblogging etc), I enjoy all the moments we shared together and it would have never been the same without you guys. You're all really sweet, fun and amazing people in your own ways and I hope to be able to interact with you more in the upcoming year. I'm wishing you an amazing 2022 because amazing people should get a wonderful year that'll treat them right <3

Love,