Fake™ and Gay™

Human brain wants to say NO THEY LOOKED JUST LIKE WOLVES but human brain is a fucking coward and even canon doesn’t have them looking like earth wolves. Kanan was blind when he encountered them as a human so I get no input there. Thrawn doesn’t remember, he just remembers them utterly annihilating his troops. 

In another weird Kylo/Kanan twist I (as Kylo) remember finding the ruins of Thrawn’s ship etc on the planet Ezra teleported it all to. I was drawn to it, which is maybe unsurprising given the force and the fact that my apprentice (as Kanan) was responsible for it being there. 

I have a lot of really clear flashes of memory regarding this actually, so I feel like it was important.

I didn’t actually know what was on the planet when I decided I needed to look at it; it just felt relevant to me, the way Vader’s helmet had. It wasn’t even a planet with a name as far as I know. It was out in wild space and completely uninhabited as far as I could tell, which was odd because it was actually a very nice T3 planet. It was mostly water and the part I was in was nice lush misty forests and big open grassy fields. It was a little warm (80F? 90F?) but it was really nice to be uninhabited.

Archer (AKA Thrawn) says he hated it because it was hot but he’s also from ice hell planet and kept his office at like 40F.

I’m wondering if the force didn’t just keep people away from it. It wouldn’t be the first time the force had created a no fly zone because it wanted something left alone until the person meant to find it had a chance at it.

When I’d first touched Vader’s helmet I had a very similar vision to the one Rey had in TFA. I remember doing my best not to think about it freely because I didn’t want Snoke finding out some of the details, which means I’ve forgotten/failed to remember a lot of it now unfortunately. 

I know touching the helmet when I first saw myself killing one of my knights, the one who turned traitor after Snoke was dead, when he could tell I was turning more towards Rey. I saw Rey, obviously. I saw some of my (then future) interactions with Snoke. I’m almost positive I saw the time Kanan encountered Vader, and something about Rey and Ahsoka (idk if they met or it was some weird symbolic shit?). I distinctly remember a wolf howl, which is unsurprising since a lot of both my and Vader’s lives were directly linked to (read: easy to access/see from) the world between worlds/the gate on Lothal, which was directly linked to the lothwolves and Kanan.

Sometimes I wonder if the world between worlds doesn’t have something to do with force visions, actually. The weird snippets of info in force visions really reminds me of seeing things in the gate, but that’s not important here.

When I was in Thrawn’s ship I wasn’t having visions in the same way I did with Vader’s helmet, but I was seeing things. My theory is that it was echos of what happened there, but it was mostly just things moving at the edge of my vision and auditory stuff like hearing movement and voices and a faint alarm. If I didn’t know better I would have thought the place was haunted, that’s how it felt.

Their computer systems were still intact even though it had been a good 50 years or so since it happened. I very distinctly remember how pristine everything still looked, and booting up a console in front of a row of big rectangular windows looking out on a grassy field and the sea in the distance, which makes me think it was a communications console? It was pretty state of the art for imperial tech, they usually cheaped out on low level tech but the screen was nice and sharp and clear and there was some kind of blue and black screen with white writing?

These are really unimportant details but when I read it later it’ll help me remember.

There were a few holos of Thrawn talking to someone, but I don’t remember what was being said. In retrospect I think it may have been in sy bisti and Thrawn agrees, he says he had taught a few officers enough of the language to communicate orders that would be harder to interpret if intercepted.

I’m sure I brought back Thrawn’s logs and a bunch of data on things he’d been working on both because that feels right and because I recognize Thrawn’s prototype tie fighter (as Kanan saw it) as the same model tie that Kylo had. 

I wanna say that was after Snoke was gone the first time cause the memory doesn’t come with the pressure that Snoke era memories do. I felt a lot calmer anchored to Rey and not Snoke, even when we weren’t actively communicating; part of that was the force bond with Rey but a bigger part was being away from Snoke, I’m sure. I also just had a lot more time to pursue things I was personally interested in with Snoke gone, so it’s more likely that I’d been able to go after this without him looking over my shoulder.

I know a lot of my Reaver posts are like... oh that’s an atrocity, you were actually incredibly heretical and harmful to everyone around you. That’s absolutely fair but I’m detached from it mostly; Reaver is really not one of the kintypes I’m emotionally struggling with at all. If it bothers anyone that I’m talking about uncomfortable edgy emotional shit like... please be aware that it’s not bothering me personally, I just constantly want to psychoanalyze myself?