I found another one for you all, just a quick note on this one first and there's another at the bottom - there was a time not too long ago I actually thought I might continue to this one. But it's a pretty dark concept and a little difficult to navigate so I just don't think mentally I can do it. The Working Title though is "Hush"
At first there’s fire with a sizzle where the new nanos deliver their message to the pain receptors in his nervous system, then the prickling spreads like ice cracking along a frozen lake as the rest of him goes numb with their intrusion.
In a word, John calls it dangerous - and he has likened his brother to a stubborn mule more than once for taking it - but that’s not what it’s called. Since the pill was Gordon’s idea in the first place, their resident aquanaut was the one that got to name it.
He calls it Hush, designed to quiet his pain.
Innovative enhancements to nanotech could only isolate a target area so far. The pill, like their edible transmitters, activates on his tongue to deliver the “stop” message to his pain receptors, but pressure and temperature responses come along with it – in varying degrees. The only thing completely unaffected is his motor capabilities because that would defeat the purpose all together. Gordon was very clear with his doctors about that, from John’s understanding, since the medication had been developed without his knowledge.
And if John hadn’t known about it no one had.
If there were aware of just what research and development their brother’s inheritance had been supporting… well, there may have been words about it.
Not that they would’ve done much. Gordon was an immovable force when he wanted to be, at 5 ft 9, heels dug in deep and stance unyielding. Any other time, they admired that tenacity. It’s what carried him through the Olympics, what drove him forward when re-learning to walk, what kept his spirit bright through difficult times.
At the end of the day, it’s that knowledge that reconciles the turmoil in John’s heart; his voice wouldn’t have made a difference. It was always Gordon’s decision, his body at risk, his danger to weigh and measure. John may not like it, but he understands it and knows what his role is to be now that what’s done is done.
Hush is what he called it. It had a scientific name, a string of alpha characters and numbers that represented the chemical make-up, but Gordon could never remember it. Nor was there a reason to. Brains knew it; Virgil hated knowing it.
Gordon knew the drug for what it did, how it made him feel and what it could help him do. And that's all that really mattered.
It was Hush because it took his screaming nerve-endings and snuffed them down to nothing. It was Hush because it told the broken part of his body to shut up. That it was wrong when it yelled you can't you can't you can't. Because he can. He has and he could. That was the Gordon Tracy he knew best. The champion, the survivor, the one who beat the odds, overcame his diagnosis all those years ago when he was told he'd likely never walk again.
Hush, the drug - and it *was* a drug as much as they kept it on hand as Gordon's last option prescription - gave him his strength in his worst moments.
By turning everything else off.
okay so the rest of this goes - there's a rescue, Gordon feels needed and decides to use the drug to quiet his chronic pain, but the trade off is that it's too effective and the reason Virgil doesn't like it, is because it's a danger to Gordon - he actually can't feel anything afterword. So a he might not even notice getting cut, or burned, or a broken bone. The brothers are overall split about the existence of this thing, and then Virgil's worst fears actually happen, but he wasn't advised that Gordo had taken it because Gordon knew he'd be mad, so the impact is worse.
Here are some additional notes I had listed in a doc...
Hush – pill form – new nanos to turn off shuts down pain receptors – turn off most pain across his body. Would lose some sort of mix between pressure, temp, specific to keep motor in extremities – fingers, hands, feet, face lips, ears. Etc. At onslaught, it’ll affect back and torso, with muting in his fingertips and head.
Temp – mix, could feel the heat of his blood on his head.
Notes: John is with Gordon as his feeling comes back. Virgil walks in
Hush is the one thing Virgil will actually get mad at Gordon for. Beyond just brotherly irritation.
Motivations: Gordon – afraid to be a liability, willing to take the consequences knowing he can help people, in this moment.
Virgil – afraid that Gordon will injure himself further. The benefit isn’t worth the risk to Gordon’s health. And he was with Gordon through it the last time, that left its own scars on his heart.
John – also afraid that Gordpn will injure himself further, but the difference is that he understands where Gordon is coming from
Alan – thinks its cool without really understanding the risks
Scott – big brother also afraid for Gordon
End of the day, Gordon is responsible for his own body autonomy, will pull black mail if he needs to, will call out Scott’s own self-destructive tendencies.
And I debated how a panic attack would feel under this stuff, but never really dove into it further than this note: Panic Attack – the pain of a panic attack doesn’t come from physical pain. It’s pressure. Hyperventilate. Chest tight and can’t breath. Can’t feel the actual pain of it but know it’s happening?
