aster

“oh my god hollander you are so boring.”

even anxious pups need the moon

Happy Pride Month y'all 🏳️‍🌈❤️

their first kiss is exploratory, buzzing, and opening a door for what would become a ceaseless desire.

their first kiss in nashville that shane hastily starts tells us, and them, their relief to be able to do so again, because that desire was just as strong.

when ilya kisses shane as they discuss a plan for next time, he kisses him to reassure him and let him know it’s okay to want to wait and that it isn’t putting ilya off to do something else instead.

at vegas, the first time, ilya tries to hide behind the kiss and shane is his most honest (in vino veritas) and hungry here.

their first kiss after close to two years at shane’s apartment is like saying hello again, and easing back into an act they ache to be familiar with.

when shane kisses ilya so softly and then kisses his forehead, all of those kisses prior seem to catch up with ilya. the voiceless conversations they’ve had, and the honesty in them all scares him. how he feels and can’t stop, it scares him. once he shares one last stairwell kiss, far too sweet and true to be safe, ilya steels himself to kiss shane as little as possible for as long as possible, even if it’s all he wants.

and how many times do you think it took for him not to find a moment to himself or with shane to let out that grief