Swallowing a star.｡.:*☆　

I'm also still deeply in love with Peerless but that fandom is tiny xD

With Miquella's words a small wave of relief washed through Soleil. He was allowed to follow.

Horrific things would still happen but at least his beloved wouldn't have to face them alone and he could be with him. He could fulfill his duty and do his very best at assisting him. He would stand guard day and night and listen to all his pain and fears no matter how heavy of a burden they might be. Nothing would make him leave.

Taking a deep breathe and steeling his mind, Soleil nodded. "Iam ready. Lead the way, my lord."

"Wh- what do you mean?"

Soleil's voice was weak. His hands shook and he made a hesitating step closer to the person that had been his guiding light ever since he had the honour of meeting him.

"Where will you go? What will you do? My Lord- Miquella?"

Panic was setting in. He had a horrible feeling about this. He couldn’t see his lord's expression, just his wonderful light ever unfaltering but something was off. He simply knew it and it made his heart ache in his chest.

Miquella felt the unsteadiness of Soleil's being, of his very heart. His own was teetering on the edge of faltering on seeing his beloved so awash with worry. The gravity of what he had to do, what was required of him to ensure the Haligtree's flourishing, was not to be witnessed. He could not stand to think of Soleil being present as he shed his own blood.

"I must nourish this home of ours so that it continues to be the haven that it is. I will go to the cavern of its roots." Miquella took it upon himself to close the distance between them and took hold of those shaking hands. "You may come as far as the entrance, but no farther."

Warm hands held his own gently but firm and for a moment, the blink of an eye, it calmed his quivering heart. Until his mind caught on to what had been said and it started shaking anew.

Miquella had never told him what made the Haligtree flourish as it did but the knight had heard stories and alone the possibility that some of those might be true made his knees go weak. He couldn't ask of his lord to not do this, it had to be done, but he couldn’t bear leaving him.

Closing his eyes he treasured the soft kiss given to him and squeezed his beloved's hands hoping it would convey his emotions better than words could.

Another bait of hope, but once again shattered. On purpose or not, Shi Qingxuan seemed to stab him over and over. How he hoped to be called his actual name, to be recognized as his own person. How he hoped he would be addressed as a friend, rather than a business partner.

With a sigh, he looked towards the waves, unable to look into Shi Qingxuan's eyes anymore. ''If you call to me here, I'll always answer.'' he replied, voice silent but clear. For a moment, he wished he didn't exist anymore. After all, his revenge was done, his soul should have been calmed, his business finished. So why did he remain? What was keeping him around?

After a moment of silence, He Xuan reached into his sleeve. His hand squeezed a black, hollowed-out pearl, and he pulled it out of his sleeve. He Xuan didn't need to look at it, it truly didn't matter much to him anymore. There were times when he would protect his ashes for as long as he could, but what use did he have of it now?

Black Water took a step closer to Shi Qingxuan and reached his hand towards him, the pearl shimmering lightly in his palm. ''Take it. It's up to you what you do with it.''

It was kind of reassuring to know that if he called He Xuan he would come. There weren't many people anymore he could rely on or wanted to.

Sure, Pei Ming had looked for him every now and then again like he had promised Shi Wudu but in all honesty, Shi Qingxuan wanted nothing to do with heaven anymore and avoided him at all costs. The beggars were only reliable if one had food and in dangerous situations they all saved their own skin first. He didn't judge them but that didn't change the fact that he was on his own.

When He Xuan stretched out his hand, Shi Qingxuan needed every bit of strength in him to not flinch away. The fear of that fateful night was simply too deeply engraved in him. Still he took what was offered to him.

"Thank you..." Carefully he turned the pearl between his fingers and them closed his fist around it, promising himself quietly to keep it save. He only had a slight idea what it might be and he wasn't sure how he felt about it...

Today was such a mess. He really shouldn't haven drunken so much. He should lay down and sleep it off.

"When are you going to forgive me for crashing your Mercedes? I was fourteen and stupid."

For just a moment - there was hope. There was a hint that maybe he would stay with him. Did he have a chance? Could he make things right again?

Oh.

It's gone. He is refused, and the shiver does not escape his sight. Shi Qingxuan seems... Repulsed, even. Maybe he isn't reading it right, and maybe his mind is overreacting. Surely, there must be something left. Even a broken fan leaves behind pieces that can be put back together... He can't bring back the life he has taken. He wouldn't want to if he could.

Yet, despite the sting, his face remained flat, not showing the hurt. He Xuan stared at Shi Qingxuan, his eyes cold. There he was, putting up a shield yet again. No matter what he does, he will get hurt in the end. He Xuan knew he put Shi Qingxuan through so much; he knew he didn't deserve to even look at him... But he didn't want to hurt anymore. His entire life was constant pain, even in the afterlife. He couldn't do it anymore.

Taking a step back, he nodded, turning his head to look at the waves, the sight comforting.

''There's still The Manor.'' he reminded him, though it wasn't really an offer anymore. He wouldn't dare suggest that again.

Reading He Xuan or Ming Yi was difficult. It always had been and still, Shi Qingxuan used to proudly exclaim that he had mastered the skill of understanding him nonetheless. Now he wasn't so sure anymore.

He wanted to believe that the longing he saw was real and that it was mutual. That they both wanted to fix things but how could he trust it? He hadn’t even managed to call his friend by his actual name. He could hardly pretend he knew him.

Shi Qingxuan swallowed and nodded. He could hardly promise that he would stay safe but he would certainly try his best. He would like to live a bit longer. At least on most days he did.

"He x-" He stopped shortly, unsure how familiar they were with each other now, before he decided to be as polite as possible. "He-gongzi, will we see each other again? Even if we part now... I would like to meet again." The last part was a mere whisper.

The ill-fitting robes he'd acquired from the village were soaked through, his hair was still a half-matted mess, and there were no bandages that could have lasted through pools of rotting blood. Yet while Xie Lian could understand he was quite the sight, something about the stranger's stare was... off.

It wasn't just concern, fear, or disgust. There was something underneath it all, confusingly complex that his throbbing head couldn't wrap itself around.

"Yong'an," Xie Lian answered, before he could even contemplate whether that was still the current name of the nation. How many years had it been since he'd been buried? How many territories had the nation been overtaken by, how many hands of kings had it been passed through? "Not too far from here, I t-think."

A full-bodied shiver shuddered through him, and Ruoye squeezed around his chest comfortingly. A coffin was by no means an ideal environment, but it did provide consistency; in its temperature, conditions, suffering and the like.

Xie Lian wasn't entirely sure how he would react to catching a chill in his weakened state, so he began to peel off the heavy robes. His bare back hit the stagnant air of the temple, and another shiver ran down his spine.

The last thing Mu Qing had expected when returning with his lantern, was to see Xie Lian undress himself. For a short moment horror overtook him and he wanted to scold him for being so shameless but then he remembered that fallen from grace his Highness probably didn't care anymore and he himself had seen him in a state of undressed plenty of times before. After all, it had been his job to dress him.

"Yong'an huh? No wonder you look like this..." He grumbled ignoring the question about his own appearance and placed the light down watching the warm shine dance over Xie Lian.

He looked so miserable, nearly feverish. Shivering and dripping all over the floor, it made something in Mu Qing's chest feel too tight.

He should do something. He really should this time.

The last time he had made it only worse but now he had a second chance to help and as much as his pride protested against it, he wanted to take it. Nobody could see and judge him right now anyway and he hadn't been found out yet either. He was safe.

Thinking it over for another few seconds he sighed and then took off his outer layer handing it over to his Highness.

breathe - muse a holds muse b closely to help them wind down after a stressful day/event

stop - muse a holds muse b back from walking back out into the fray

melt - muse a holds muse b’s face gently, drawing circles into their cheeks with their thumbs

acceptance - muse a kisses muse b’s forehead and lingers

redemption - muse a holds muse b’s face together and rests their forehead against them

home - muse a pulls muse b closer until muse b’s face rests in the crook of muse a’s neck

finale - muse a wraps themself around muse b to keep them from harm

classics - muse a tends to muse b’s wounds with more care than necessary

honesty - muse a wipes muse b’s tears away from under their eyes

recovery - muse a rubs muse b’s back repeatedly to help work tension out their body

anxiety - muse a intertwines their fingers with muse b’s to ground themself

repose - muse a languidly slips into muse b’s arms while muse b is lying somewhere

subtlety - muse a gently brushes their hand over folds and wrinkles on muse b’s clothing

intimacy - muse a braids/brushes/works knots out of muse b’s hair

domesticity - muse a rests chin on muse b’s shoulder to read/see what they’re holding

second-nature - muse a runs their hand through muse b’s hair who’s leaning into them from behind

casual - muse a slinks their arms around muse b’s to sit closer

wounded - muse a sways muse b and themself back and forth as a soothing mechanism

care-taking - muse a rubs muse b’s arms repeatedly to get some warm into them

excuses - muse a brushes their thumb lightly against muse b’s rub some dirt/dust/etc away

courting - muse a rests one hand on muse b’s back and holds out the other for muse b to hold to help them climb up/down something