Oscars response made you laugh, but you knew that both of them would show up, you got another coms girl to go out and grab you bedsheets and sunglasses. Once you got what you needed, you made your way to the paddock. With a little skip in your step, you saw both of your papaya boys sitting there on their phones 

"Okay, boys, put these on", you said, a little too excited when you gave them their bedsheets and sunglasses  "Mate, I can’t see a thing," Oscar complained, sounding muffled from under the fabric."That’s the point," you said, voice full of amusement as you adjusted the eye holes for him. "You’re ghosts, not models." Lando, of course, had already posed dramatically, draping the sheet like he was doing a Vogue cover shoot.

"Who wants to go first?" You asked, grabbing the first prop, which was an F1 steering wheel "Sure", Lando said, not overly excited. You gave him the wheel, telling him how to hold it. Once you had him in the right spot, you snapped a few photos 

You led Lando and Oscar to the meeting room; you had a little ghost train going on. You were holding Lando's hand while Lando held Oscar's. The McLaren team were laughing at the boys, which they didn't mind; they were having a good time too. 

Zak Brown was helping you with the text photo. You sat Lando and Oscar on either side of him in front of a laptop to make it look like they were going over strategies. Lando leaned in seriously, nodding through the fabric. Oscar pointed dramatically at the screen.

Liked by @.user3 @.user   @.y/n_hughes

@.McLaren we take F1 seriously here at McLaren

@.Landonorris said he was 'in touch with the car.' We didn’t know he meant like… this.

@.oscarpiastri and @.Landonorris Even as ghosts they still have debriefs.

tagged @.Landonorris @.oscarpiastri

view comments↓

@.georgerussell63 FIA investigating for supernatural pace 👻

@.user1 this is peak McLaren chaos and I love it

@.user5  Y/n is singlehandedly carrying the social media game

@.user Lando’s ghost gives "help me," Oscar’s gives "I quit."

*Liked by @.McLaren

Now it was onto the next location, which was to take a photo of Lando and Oscar in a car and not a F1 car just a normal car. You have Lando in the drivers seat and Oscar in the passenger seat. You instructed them to look like they were on some eerie road trip. Lando kept trying to pose like a model, and Oscar kept dramatically leaning out the window. You laughed so hard you almost dropped the camera.  

Liked by @.user32 @.user9  @.maxfewtrell

@.McLaren Ghosts on a road trip…don’t forget your snacks 👻🍫

tagged @.landonorris @.oscarpiastri

view comments↓

@.user imagine seeing this drive past you at night 😭😭

→@.y/n_hughes I think I would speed away 

@.user90 whoever runs this account (hi Y/n) deserves a raise asap

→ @.McLaren I'll let Zak Brown know x 

@.f1tea FIA reviewing for paranormal overtakes 👀

You and Lando had made it back home and back in bed, "thank you for being a good ghost model babe,", you said, yawning. Lando rolled over, draping an arm over you, still in his mischievous, exhausted way. "I think I scared more people than the trend itself," he joked, kissing the top of your head. You grinned, holding up your phone. "Wait until the world sees these. You two are iconic."

Lando snorted. "Iconic ghosts, then?" "Exactly," you said, pulling the blankets over both of you. "Haunted, hilarious, and completely unstoppable."

You leaned into him, thumbs flying as you finalized your Instagram story, sending the paddock chaos out into the world

@.McLaren has posted an Instagram story 

 The streets were glowing in shades of orange and purple, pumpkins smiling from porches, and kids darting from house to house with overflowing candy buckets.

Jack held his three-year-old daughter’s tiny hand as they walked down the sidewalk, her little sneakers scuffing against the pavement. Y/n’s other hand clutched a small plastic pumpkin bucket, though it was still mostly empty. She was bundled up in her costume, a tiny, pint-sized hockey uniform complete with a Vancouver Canucks jersey that said Hughes across the back.

Number 43. Just like her Uncle Quinn.

Jack couldn’t help the grin tugging at his mouth every time he looked down at her. "You sure you don’t want to be a princess, bug?" he teased lightly as they approached another house lit with spider web lights.

Y/n shook her head with determination, her dark curls bouncing from beneath the small blue helmet she insisted on wearing. “I’m Quinn,” she said firmly, her toddler lisp wrapping around the words. “Uncle Quinny plays hockey!”

Jack chuckled, heart softening. “You’re right, he does. And you make a pretty good mini version.” He squatted down beside her as they reached the walkway of another house. “Okay, you remember what to say when they open the door?”

Y/n hesitated, fidgeting with her pumpkin bucket. “'Trick or tweet?'” she whispered, glancing up at him with those big brown eyes that always melted him completely. “That’s my girl,” Jack said, ruffling her curls. “Alright, go get ‘em.”

But as the door creaked open and a group of rowdy kids shouted “Trick or treat!” around her, Y/n froze. Her little hand tightened around Jack’s finger, and she pressed herself against his leg, peeking out from behind his jeans. The man at the door laughed softly and dropped a few candies into her bucket anyway.

Jack’s heart twisted. He knew she was shy, painfully so sometimes, but he’d thought maybe the excitement of her first Halloween would get her to come out of her shell. After a few more houses with the same result, her clinging to his leg, eyes wide and silent, Jack crouched beside her again on the sidewalk. The neighborhood was alive with giggles and rustling candy wrappers, but Y/n just looked overwhelmed.

“Hey, bug,” he said gently, brushing her cheek with his thumb. “You doing okay?” She bit her lip and shook her head. “Too many peoples,” she murmured, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s loud.” Jack sighed softly, looking around at the chaos, the flashing Halloween decorations, the screaming kids, the barking dogs. It was a lot, especially for someone so small.

He crouched down fully and tapped her nose. “How about we do Halloween our way?” Her brows furrowed. “Our way?” “Yeah,” Jack said, his grin returning. “Somewhere quieter. Somewhere with the best candy in the world.”

Her eyes widened. “Where?”

He winked. “You’ll see.”

Twenty minutes later, Y/n was sitting on the players’ bench at the Devils’ practice rink, her little legs swinging back and forth. The building was mostly dark except for the rink lights, which glowed white and clean against the fresh ice. Jack had texted the guys in the team group chat, and as soon as word got out that Mini Quinn was on her way, half of them decided to stick around.

“Okay, little Q,” Jack said, helping her down from the bench. “You ready to trick or treat here?” She tilted her head, clearly unsure what he meant, until the locker room doors burst open and a group of Devils players came shuffling out, still half in their practice gear, each holding a handful of candy.

“Trick or treat!” they all shouted, their voices echoing off the empty arena walls.

Y/n’s jaw dropped.

Dougie Hamilton was the first to approach, kneeling down to her level. “Hey, whoa,” he said with mock seriousness. “You look just like Quinn Hughes. Wait, did we trade for him and nobody told me?”

Y/n giggled shyly, her fingers tightening on her pumpkin bucket. “I’m Quinny!” she declared proudly, puffing out her chest. Jack snorted from behind her. “Guess you’ve got a new defenseman, Dougie.”

“Perfect,” Dougie said, dropping a pile of mini chocolate bars into her bucket. “Best rookie I’ve seen all season.” Next up was Nico Hischier, who smiled softly at her and handed her a candy bar. “You know,” he said, “you skate better than your dad already.”

Y/n’s eyes went wide. “I do?” Jack rolled his eyes, laughing. “Don’t encourage her, man.”

But the guys did. They all did.

Each player that came by made her laugh a little harder, talk a little more. Timo Meier offered her gummy bears. Jesper Bratt challenged her to a race down the hallway. Even the equipment manager handed her a handful of lollipops “for being the cutest hockey player in the building.”

Before long, Y/n’s earlier shyness had melted completely. She was running from player to player, her tiny skates clattering on the rubber floor as she held out her pumpkin bucket with both hands. “Trick or tweet!” she chirped proudly each time.

Jack leaned against the boards, watching her with a grin that just wouldn’t fade. There was something about seeing his daughter, his whole world, laughing with his teammates, dressed like his brother, completely in her element.

It made something warm bloom in his chest.

When Y/n finally tired herself out, she clambered back up onto the bench beside him, breathless and smiling. Her bucket was overflowing now, the candy piled almost to the brim. “You have fun, bug?” Jack asked, tugging her helmet off gently. She nodded enthusiastically. “Best Halloween ever,” she declared, voice small but confident.

Jack smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Yeah?”

 Nitro had been invited to the Austrian Grand Prix as an entertainment act, and you were on the lineup. It was perfect timing. Between media day and the race weekend, you had one full off-day,  just enough time to switch worlds. 

Friday morning, you and Lando both got up at 5 am to start the day. "Hey, everyone, welcome back", Lando said to the camera. "Today, Lando and I will be doing a sports swap where we will be training like each other in the upcoming Grand Prix that will be featuring Nitro." You stated, standing there in your gym clothes, drinking an energy drink 

It started off at the gym, where normally you would do your ab and core workout with a bit of arms being chucked in there, but not today, today you were on Landos' gym schedule "Fuck my life" You whispered to the camera as Lando set up his neck training  

"So, this is my warm-up," Lando said, setting up resistance bands and neck weights like it was no big deal. "Warm-up?" you repeated, eyeing the strange medieval-looking contraption. He grinned. "Yeah. You'll see why soon."

 soon you found your rhythm. The rest of the morning was cardio, endurance, and reaction drills. You did hand-eye coordination tests, balance work, and simulator reflex games. You weren't bad  but Lando made sure to "coach" you every step of the way. "Your lap time's slow," he teased, watching you play the reflex game. "Your flirting's slower," you shot back, earning a fake gasp and a laugh from the camera crew.

By the end of the morning, your hair was plastered to your forehead, and your arms felt like jelly. Lando offered you a towel, still annoyingly fresh. "Not bad, babe. You’d make a decent reserve driver." "Decent?" you echoed, mock glaring. "You’re lucky I love you."

After lunch, it was his turn.

You drove to the Nitro setup on the outskirts of the paddock, a dirt field transformed into a playground of ramps, jumps, and chaos. Your teammates were already there, bikes lined up, cheering when you and Lando arrived.

"Look who we’ve got here!" your teammate Jake called out. "Mr. Formula 1 himself!" Lando gave an awkward little wave, trying to hide behind you. "Be nice to me," he muttered. "Oh, we will," you said, patting his back.

The first lesson was simple, body positioning and throttle control. You fitted him in full protective gear, tightening the helmet strap with a grin. "You look adorable,"  you said, stepping back to admire him.

"Adorable? I look like a marshmallow," he mumbled, wobbling as he mounted the dirt bike.

"Just remember,"  you said, smirking, "this bike bites back if you don’t respect it."He shot you a wary look but revved the engine anyway, eyes lighting up at the sound. Slowly, he started to get the hang of it, awkwardly at first, feet flailing, but within minutes, he was doing smooth circles around the lot.

"Not bad, Norris!" you called. "Maybe I’ll make you my stunt double!" "Ha ha,"  he replied, voice muffled through the helmet.

The next challenge was small ramps. Nothing too dangerous, but enough to make his heart race. He lined up, took a deep breath, and went for it, catching just enough air to earn cheers from the team.

When he landed, you ran up, laughing and hugging him. "See! You did it!" He beamed under the helmet, voice breathless. "That was insane! I get why you love this. It’s terrifying but god, it’s addictive." You grinned, leaning your forehead against his helmet. "Now you understand." 

Later, you showed him how to do a flip on the foam pit. He didn’t dare try it himself, but he watched with wide eyes as you launched off the ramp, spun through the air, and landed softly in the pit. When you climbed out, he was there waiting, hands out to help.

"You make it look effortless," he said softly, genuine admiration in his tone. "Years of practice," you replied, smiling. "Kind of like you and your corners." By late afternoon, the sun began to set, painting the sky gold. You both had media to attend to so you both decided to finish the video in Landos drivers room 

once the outro was done, you and Lando stayed cuddled up on the couch saving this moment, as thee moments were rare, "Honestly I think us doing this video made us realize how insane our sports slash jobs are" you spoke thing out loud, "same love doing what you love made me appreciate it more because of how hard it is" Lando said placing a kiss to your forehead 

Back in 2019, when you attended Umich, you told yourself not to get involved with any guys and just focus on your degree, and at first, it was going well until Thomas Bordeleau came along in 2020. 

To help get experience, you ran the Umich hockey team's social media, and that's when one thing led to another, and you found yourself sneaking into his hotel and or dorm room more times than you would like to admit 

It was just hook-ups, no strings attached. When Luke joined Umich in 2021, you decided to put a stop to hooking up with Bords because you knew the drama that would come with hooking up with your little brother's teammate. But soon you fell back into your old ways.  

Soon, Bords left for the NHL, and you got a job at McLaren and fell in love with Lando. You hadn't talked or seen him since, and honestly, he left your mind he was like a faded memory. 

Present day 

When Luke brought up the idea of you shooting content for the Team 100 reunion you didn't think much about it, you missed most of the guys they were your best friends. 

"Y/n make sure you get my good side" Luke muttered from the back seat as Lando parked the car "Thats going to be hard when you don't have one" you joked grabbing your camera out and your lanyard placing it around your neck. 

You grabbed Landos hand and made your way into the arena "Fuck its cold" Lando joked when he opened the door to yost, "Yeah babe its an ice hockey arena not monaco" you smiled placing a kiss to Landos cheek 

"Y/n" You heard Ethan call out  running towards you, you were close to the 21-22 freshman because of Luke, you helped most of them with their washing, homework and sometimes with their girl problems "Eddy" you called out opening your arms for him, ethan pulled you into a tight hug  

"Oh my god y/n is that a boy" Nolan and Nick said as the rest of the group walked over, your eyes met with Bords and suddenly all the memories came flooding back "Ye- yeah this Lando, his is a F1 driver but he has been my boyfriend for the past two years" You muttered Lando bringing you to his side 

You weren’t prepared for him.

Thomas Bordeleau stood there in his puffer jacket and Team 100 hoodie like it hadn’t been years since you last saw him, like he hadn’t once grinned and said “you up?” at 1 a.m. like it was the most casual thing in the world. His hair was a little shorter now, jawline sharper but that same smug twinkle lived in his eyes.

“Hey,” Bords said, smiling like no time had passed. “Still the prettiest camera girl in the rink.”

Your stomach dropped. You laughed too loudly face heating up instantly as your brain short-circuited. “Oh my god,” you muttered under your breath, eyes darting away like they might find a fire escape. Play it cool, play it cool, you chanted internally. But your face was already on fire, and it did not go unnoticed.

Lando’s head turned slowly toward you, his hand still on your waist. “Camera girl?” he repeated, a dry edge to his voice. You elbowed him gently, trying to play it off. “It’s just a nickname from forever ago.”

Bords’s grin widened. “Not that long ago.” Lando’s grip tightened, just slightly. You could practically feel his jealousy buzzing like static.

“So,” Bords continued, eyes flicking between you and Lando, “what’s it like dating a race car driver? That’s a little different from college hockey boys.” You fumbled with your lanyard, blinking way too fast. “Uh yeah, it’s fast-paced,” you mumbled.

Lando tilted his head toward Bords, one brow raised. “And what do you do now?” he asked, tone light but his jaw ticked slightly.

“Play for San jose sharks,” Bords said casually. “So, still skating around. Just with bigger paychecks.”

You forced a smile, trying to break the tension. “You can take the boy out of Yost, but ” “But you can’t take the cockiness out of him,” Nolan finished with a laugh. Lando gave a small, forced chuckle. “Yeah, seems like it.”

The group slowly drifted toward the locker room, but Bords lingered, leaning a little too close as you fumbled with your camera settings. “You still blush the same,” he said under his breath.

You froze. Lando clearly heard it too.

Your brain short-circuited again. “I it’s just cold,” you stammered, cheeks now glowing redder than a stoplight. Lando stepped between you and Bords so smoothly you almost missed it. “Hey babe, didn’t you say you needed help with your lens?” he asked, picking up your camera without waiting for a reply.

You nodded dumbly. “Uh, yeah, it’s uh, weird lighting.”  Bords raised his hands in mock surrender. “All good. I’m sure you’re in good hands.” He winked and strolled off toward the others.

The moment he was out of earshot, Lando turned to you, unimpressed. “Camera girl?” he repeated. You groaned, burying your face in his chest. “Don’t.”

“You blushed.” Lando groaned  “I panicked! He caught me off guard!” you let out  “Oh, he caught you, alright,” Lando muttered, glancing in Bords’s direction. You poked his ribs. “You’re jealous.”

Lando looked down at you, eyes narrowed in mock offense. “Of a guy who called you camera girl and said you still blush the same? Absolutely I’m jealous.” You pouted. “It meant nothing. He’s just Bords.” Lando raised a brow. “Just Bords?”

Quinn grabs your overnight bag from the trunk and bumps his shoulder into yours as he walks past. "Stop overthinking. They’re gonna love you,"  he says, like he can read your mind.

You offer a smile that’s half nerves, half gratitude.

Inside, the house smells like cedar and sunscreen. There’s a chorus of voices echoing from the kitchen, and before you can fully step in, Luke barrels around the corner.

"Quinn!" he shouts, pulling him into a hug, and then turns to you with a grin. And this must be the famous Y/n. Wow, you’re real."  You laugh awkwardly, accepting the quick hug he pulls you into. "You’re taller than I expected,"  you joke, and Luke snorts.

"I get that a lot."  From the kitchen, Jack appears with a beer in hand, tossing Quinn one and waving at you with the other. "Welcome to the chaos," he says. "You hungry? We’ve got burgers, dogs, and the last two slices of pizza Luke insists aren’t expired." 

The afternoon rolls into evening laughter, old stories, teasing that includes Quinn getting mocked for everything from his music taste to his inability to properly light the grill. But it’s warm and lighthearted. You settle into it easily. Quinn stays close to you, his hand on your lower back or laced through your fingers, checking in with soft looks that make your heart flutter.

Later, when the sun is starting to dip and the group heads down to the dock to watch the sky fade, you find yourself seated between Luke and Quinn, your feet dangling just above the water. Luke kicks his feet and nudges Quinn. "Weird seeing you all boyfriendy, bro. Thought you peaked with that girl from last year." 

You freeze.

Quinn goes still beside you. You blink slowly, heart thudding. "Girl from last year?" You question, Luke looks between you two, completely oblivious. "Oh uh, yeah. Didn’t he tell you? He brought someone last summer. Can’t remember her name. She didn’t last long." 

"Luke," Quinn warns sharply, but it’s too late.

You laugh, but there’s no humor in it. "No. He didn’t tell me."  Luke’s face drops. "Crap. I didn’t Quinn, man, I didn’t know."  You stand slowly. "I’m gonna go lie down for a bit. Long drive." 

"Y/n" Quinn starts, but you wave him off and walk back toward the house, trying to keep your pace calm even though your chest is twisting with something hot and uncomfortable.

The guest room feels too small when you shut the door behind you. You sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. It shouldn’t matter. Everyone has a past. You know that. But something about thisthe lake house, his family, the intimacy of it, makes it different. Makes it feel… less special.

You hear a soft knock at the door a few minutes later. "It’s me," Quinn says quietly. You don’t answer, but he opens it anyway, stepping in and closing it behind him. He looks like he’s been running through a storm even though the sky outside is clear.

"I should’ve told you," he says, voice gentle. You don’t look at him. "Why didn’t you?" 

He exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. "Because it didn’t matter. It wasn’t serious. I barely even remember her last name." 

"That’s not the point." you say rubbing your face with your hands  He flinches. "Then what is?" 

You finally meet his eyes. "You brought someone here. To your family’s lake house. That’s not nothing, Quinn. That’s the kind of thing that means something. And you didn’t even think I’d care?" He takes a few steps closer. "I get it now. I do. But it wasn’t the same. That was… I don’t even know why I brought her. It was a mistake."  You cross your arms. "And what about me? Am I another mistake?"

His face falls. "Don’t say that" You look away again. "I just wish you’d told me. I don’t want to feel like I’m filling someone else’s space."  He crouches in front of you, gently taking your hands in his.

"You’re not," he says. "Y/n, you’re the reason I wanted to come back this year. You’re the one I wanted to bring. You’re not a placeholder. You’re it."

You search his face, your hurt still sitting heavy in your chest. But there’s no defensiveness in his eyes now only sincerity. His thumb brushes over your knuckles.

"I should’ve told you," he repeats. "And I’m sorry I didn’t. I never meant to make you feel like this wasn’t real. Because it is. It’s the most real thing I’ve had in a long time."  You inhale slowly, your heart finally starting to loosen its grip. "I didn’t want to fight," you whisper.

"I know. Me either." Quinn said placing a kiss to the back of hand  You squeeze his hand. "Next time, just… don’t let me find stuff out like that from Luke, okay?"  He nods. "Deal. And also remind me to kill Luke later."

1. Language barrier 

You pushed open the door to Lando's streaming room, barefoot, mildly annoyed, and definitely not thinking about his thousands of Twitch viewers. "Babe, where are my thongs?" you asked 

Lando looked up from his monitor, slightly startled, headset still clamped over his ears. He glanced at the chat before smiling. "One, I'm streaming, so come say hi properly," he says into his mic with a grin. 

"And two, wouldn't they be in your drawer?" You squinted at him, confused. "No, those are my G-strings. I'm talking about my shoes." He choked on his drink. "Wait, what? Thongs are underwear!"

You roll your eyes, grabbing one of his hats off the wall and tossing it at him. "You Brits are so dramatic. I was looking for my shoes, not trying to start an OnlyFans. And also, you have had two Australian teammates. I thought by now you would understand" He starts laughing so hard he leans back in his chair, clutching his stomach, his audience in absolute chaos over the whole exchange.

You flip him off as you walk away, He's still grinning hours later.

2. The two Aussie and Lando 

Lando loved to bring you to races, having you there to cheer him on was his favorite part except for when you would team up with Oscar, You'd known him before Lando, grew up two suburbs apart, and your shared love of Aussie slang made paddock weekends feel like home. Lando, however? He looked like a lost puppy. 

Anytime Lando was near the two of you he would almost have a brain sprain trying to figure out what you both were talking about 

Lando sat next to you on his phone scrolling through instagram not really paying attention until he heard "oh god, I went to the servo in Monaco and they sell the Big M choccy milk I almost cried" You said excited that you found your Australian chocolate milk, 

"No way! They've got Big M?" Oscar grinned before continuing on "Are you trying to get on the piss during summer break?" Oscar questioned 

"Hold up what?!" Lando questioned you and Oscar both blink at him. Lando throws up a hand. "Servo? Choccy milk? Get on the piss? do you Australian just have your own language or some shit?  You and Oscar starting laughing watching as Lando tried figuring it all out. "Servo is gas station. Choccy milk is,well, chocolate milk. And 'on the piss' means drinking." You explained 

Oscar adds, "Mate, if you're gonna keep dating her, you've gotta learn the lingo." Lando groans dramatically. "At this point, I need subtitles." You kiss his cheek and whisper, "Don't worry, love. We'll get you a dictionary." 

3. The Australian Translator 

Lando thought it would a good idea for you to join him in todays stream "Alright, chat" Lando says clapping his hands together "We've got Y/n here, and she is from Australia so I'm going to give her some words and she is going to Australian translate them" the chat went crazy some sending in words and some saying 'aussie take over' 

"okay y/n first word is Afternoon" "Oh thats easy arvo" you shoot back immediately. You grinned looking at all the Australians in the chat, you looked at the time on your phone before turning it over "To all the Australian watching this that is dedication" Lando looked at you confused "It would be around midnight for most of them" You add placing a kiss to Landos cheek 

"You next word is u turn" Chat had been spamming this into the chat "Oh chuck a u-ey" you say casually "can you please use that in a sentence babe" Lando asked "Shit you missed the turn mate just chuck a u-ey" You sat there looking at Lando confused as he was nearly on the floor dying with laughter 

4. Fairy bread 

Lando had invited you to a Quadrant video shoot where they were playing a eating game, you sat off to the side on a beanbag watching them eat some weird foods from around the world, because thats content? "hey babe" Lando called over his shoulder between bites, "what's fairy bread?"

You blinked. "Wait, what?" He held up a plate with a single slice of white bread on it, still wrapped in cling film with an Australian Flag on it. "The fact that fairy bread is on the weird food category, I think all Australians watching this video would be offended" you let out a gasp Lando gave a sheepish grin, and Max perked up from across the table. "Fairy what now?"

"Oh my god," you muttered, already getting up from the beanbag, "I have to fix this." You made your way over to the table like you were on a mission, pushing past empty plates and half-eaten bites of whatever the hell the last dish was. You grabbed a fresh loaf of white bread, a tub of butter, and a container of rainbow sprinkles like a seasoned pro.

 Once you finished cutting it up into triangles because it tastes better that way, you handed the bits of bread with butter and sprinkles on it to everyone and stepping back to watching there reactions 

"Holy shit" Max let out mid chew "Jon is going to hate me" Lando said taking another bite Lando looked like he was in heaven, you knew he would be asking you to make this all the time for him now. 

5.  The spider 

"Babe help" Lando yelled from the bedroom his voice sharp with panic. You rolled your eyes, still half-asleep as you stirred your coffee. "What now?" you called back, already preparing yourself for something ridiculous, maybe he lost his hoodie again, or his PlayStation controller was 'missing' under the bed.

"Spider!" he shouted like it was code red. You blinked. "A what?" 

"A huge one! It’s on the wall, watching me like it’s about to lunge!" You padded toward the bedroom with your coffee in hand, raising a brow. "Alright, let me see this demon." 

Lando was standing on the bed, pointing like he was on the front lines of war. "Right there! Above the dresser! It's massive!"  You peeked over and, yep, decent size. Not quite the horror-movie huntsman he was imagining, but definitely a good ol’ Aussie household spider.

"Oh hell no," you said immediately, taking a step back. "I’m not dealing with that."

Lando’s jaw dropped. "You’re Australian! This is supposed to be your thing! Isn’t it, like, in your DNA to karate chop spiders?"  You sipped your coffee casually. "Bub, we don’t all come out of the womb with a spider-slaying license." 

"But you’ve got, like, drop bears and snakes and crocodiles, how is this the thing that freaks you out?" Lando asked his eyes not leaving the spider  "Because," you pointed at the spider dramatically, "that thing has too many eyes and too many legs, and I refuse to engage."

Lando groaned. "This is betrayal. I was relying on your Aussie instincts." You placed your coffee down and shrugged. "You wanted to live the Aussie life, right? This is it. Shared trauma and a spider staring into your soul while you pretend it’s not there." 

He threw a pillow at you. "This is not what I signed up for." 

Laughing, you grabbed your phone. "Alright, alright. I’ll call my mom. She knows how to handle these bastards."  "You’re going to call your mom?!" Lando said in disbelief  "I’m not dying before Christmas, Lando." You sighed with you phone pressed against your ear