assorted writing prompts

An alien ship that recently took on its first human crewmate, also acquired a human handling book. When the human and captain get into a heated argument, the lieutenant flips to the page on dealing with an angry human and tries the first thing they read. "Tell the human in a calm but firm tone, to 'calm down'"

You, the hero, Have moved in with your partner, the villain. While you know they're the villain, they have no idea you're the hero. You decide to let it play out and see how crazy their excuses for heading out with little to no notice gets.

All is fair in love and war. And this is both.

An alien lands on earth and greets the first person they see, expecting a wide variety of possible reactions. What they were not prepared for, however, was for the human to ask them to move their ship so they can get to work on time.

A small group of highly intelligent aliens decide to take a few humans as pets believing them to be docile lesser creatures. The humans, former special forces soldiers, decide to take their retirement as pets to their new owners and live the life of luxury. That is until, their owners are attacked by a hostile force.

Today, everyone wakes up to every lie they've ever told becoming true. Most people have hundreds, pathological liars have thousands. Most are harmless, white lies don't really cause any problems. You have only ever told one lie, however the fallout might be the worst of everyone.

Standing among the field of death, the would be king chuckled as the little girl picked up the fallen soldier's blade. His army, however, backed away slowly.

You're relaxing with your dog nearby. After a few minutes they look at you and say 'no one is ever going to believe you' before laying their head back down and not speaking again.