THE MEEK DON'T INHERIT JACK SHIT.

       HE SITS. IT’S NOT NECESSARILY PRACTICE, when they work together. it’s working. a case is a case, and sure, they vary in difficulty when you throw in extra FANGS and claws, but there’s nothing dean’s missing out on that he’d be getting out on his own. maybe some quiet time. he runs his tongue over his teeth, sucking out the taste of stale smoke, mind wandering to the thought of a fresh cigarette. it’s not that he doesn’t think dean can handle it ––––––––– it’s that john can’t. isn’t ready to face up to the way dean’s grown, perhaps. how much does he really want dean to want this ? enough to follow orders, to keep him and his brother alive . . . but not that much. christ. ‘ . . . what is it ? ’ he asks, keeping his voice level. ‘ ‘f you need a new scene, or some FRESH AIR, dean, I get it. I’ll get out of your hair for awhile. ’ it’s no fun living in small rooms with your old man all the time, not at twenty-three. bobby’s probably no more of a party ––––––––– for the first time in a couple years, he thinks: sam would help.

     ‘ YEAH, SAM, I THINK YOU’VE MADE YOUR POINT. ’ getting louder, deeper, sharper ––––––––– another decibel will have neighbors coming to tell them outright to shut the fuck up. and then he’ll be even angrier. there’s nothing more embarrassing than having to answer for a kid who won’t behave. he doesn’t know why he’s got to explain this to sam so many times. dean gets it ( but dean was there, dean probably remembers, though john hasn’t worked up the nerve to ask ). sam knows for sure that there are DEMONS out there, but for some reason, he refuses to believe that one is after them. even with all the evidence stacked against them. even with his mother dead. john presses his tongue to his teeth, and tries to tell himself that he’s having this fight so someone else doesn’t have to. it almost makes it feel ALTRUISTIC. he’s not the one who took college away from sam ––––––– the demon did. john’s just an easier scapegoat.  ‘ I am doing something. and look, I’m not even tellin’ you to be the one doing it, this time. I’m doing my job, and all you’re being asked to do is QUIT BITCHING. ’

     although, he shouldn’t be so sure. sam’s done with him –––––––––––– if john knows anything about his son, it’s the steely look of RESOLVE he gets when he’s damn sure he’s in the right. the jaw stuck up like someone owes him something. that’s the only thing sam has left for him, and you know ? if this is the way it’s gonna be, then that’s for the best. he gets it. isn’t happy about it, but he gets it. maybe it’d be different for him with his brother . . . things often are. but it’s not like he’s gonna be the one to find out. ‘ but if you know what’s good for him, you’ll leave him alone. ’ 

     ‘ he got there okay. ’ sam wouldn’t answer a fucking call, dean, you know that. he’d like to just leave it there ; doesn’t know why he doesn’t.  ‘ ––––––––– there’s nothing to TALK about. I gave him a choice and he made it. ’ 

     HE KNOWS DEAN WILL DO THIS right or die trying –––––– he can tell by the furrow of his brow and the scowl on his lips. he should probably remind the kid again that he did, in fact, make it to the hospital last week without bleeding out. that he’s got stitches that ache, but aren’t gonna kill him. instead, he thinks, it’s making good motivation, and might make this process a little quicker. other than that . . . he’s in a pleasant mood. the circumstances are off ( he thought his son would be SIXTEEN when they had this lesson ) he looks over his shoulder, watching the car start to move. ‘ okay, good. stop at the end of the driveway ‘n make sure nobody’s coming. then you start turning. ’ they’re lucky they’re in SOUTH DAKOTA, that bobby’s got sammy effectively distracted so they can focus together. 

     IT ISN’T ABOUT THE WAY HE GRIEVED, the way he still grieved –––––––––– john doesn’t cart them all around the continent because he’s having any fucking fun. the boys were too young to know what MISSOURI had told him about the thing that had been in their house that night. they were too young to remember what happened to JULIE when john let them out of his sight ( though he wondered from time to time if dean remembered ). he’d tried to settle them in a regular house, tried to keep them in lawrence, even. he’d gone downstairs to watch television, and his boys lost a mother. he’d left them in a friend’s care for one evening, and it got her killed. he doesn’t keep them moving to INCONVENIENCE SAM ––––––– . . . no matter what the little princess wants to think. he’s trying to keep them alive. and goddamn it, seventeen years later, it’s still working. ‘ okay, sam, so what do you want me to do, huh ? you want me to tell the people gettin’ killed right now to go fuck themselves ? if you’re so SMART, you tell me what to do. ’

     ‘ PACK UP. we’re moving by dawn. ’ he’s been thinking for the last couple days about calling singer or jim, dropping dean off for awhile so he can cool off. so they both can cool off, really. but ultimately, he’s decided against it. while he’s feeling extra VOLATILE, perhaps it’s wise to have the back up. and besides, the sooner dean gets moving again . . .  the better. maybe they’ll get lucky, save some poor sonofabitch, and it’ll help. ‘ east iowa. cows comin’ up dead. ’ // @cursedguilt 

     ‘ DEAN, I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. ’ haggard brow lifts, eyes cast toward the drivers’ side ( the whole car is so strange from this angle ). john just took a CLAW to the gut, last week, and nearly couldn’t drive himself to the hospital. so, sure, that’s why they’re doing this now ––––––– but that doesn’t make it any less true. the kid’s sharp. ‘ put her in reverse. keep your foot on the brake. just back out slowly. you don’t start turnin’ until you’re at the end of the driveway. ’ // @ofmurdering

     A STEP FORWARD, BELLOWING ‘ sam, ’ and then his mouth starts running on rote memory. fragments of every argument they’ve ever had, strung together into new orders –––––– it’s always the same, anyway. he might be proud of the way sam can dig in his heels if it weren’t against HIM every goddamned time, if he used it for something useful. ‘ the point is that we save people. that’s our job. that’s what this FAMILY does. who d’you wanna turn your back on so bad, here ? those people who need help ? or your flesh ‘n blood ?  ‘cause that’s who you’re gettin’ SCREWED. you put me in danger ––––– ’ a jab of a finger behind him, to where he knows dean is watching, owlish. john isn’t stupid, either. he knows where to strike. ‘ ––––––– . . . and you put your brother in danger, because instead of FOCUSING on doing his job, he’s gotta worry about you. ‘