Ask Tubs

Ugh. I can’t stand the winter. I guess being a bit hefty helps a little, but not much. I still haven’t adjusted to this whole “snow” deal. A lot of ponies say it’s so wonderful, but I just don’t see it. It’s cold and gross and uncomfortable. 

Me and Snap probably wouldn’t be able to survive too long living in a cave during the winter months, so, fortunately, we like to get out of this nasty weather by migrating south. The beach is a much nicer place to be in my opinion. Nothing beats the warm sun, the clear, blue water, and soft sand. If it was up to me, we’d stay there forever, but Snap worries about not being close to our giant friends. I told him that’s what visits were for, but he insists on being able to see Nim every single day outside of the winter. Ah well, at least we can enjoy it for now. 

“This isn’t the easiest to talk about… Remember me saying before how I had accidents with other ponies when surfing? Well, it’s not like that was the only problem I ran into trying to live on the island. My size meant a lot of changes for the locals, and it was difficult for them to adapt. Like, let’s see here…”

“First, I wasn’t able to go to school anymore. When I was too big to fit inside, I was still able to peek through the window a little bit and listen, but then it became ‘too much of a distraction for the other students.’. I don’t think I was learning stuff too well like that anyway. It was a real bummer, though, because I liked some of the other foals. We tried to hang out afterschool and stuff, but their parents started to worry about how unsafe that might have been. So, uh, yeah, I wasn’t allowed to see them anymore.”

“Food was another problem. The fisherponies and farmers had to work extra hard just so my parents could gather enough food for me every day. I don’t think they were too happy about that, especially because I don’t think they were rewarded for their labor. One day, the leader of the Earth Pony Farmer’s Union paid a visit to my dad’s hut for a meeting. I remember hearing a lot of shouting coming from there that day - mostly from the earth pony. He told my dad the rest of the farmers were threatening to strike unless they could have less of a workload every day. My dad’s sorta stubborn, so he didn’t listen at first, but the farmers were determined to carry out their threats.” “Now the only food we had to work with was what the fisherponies netted in, but after being forced to triple their efforts now, it was only about a week before they decided to strike, too. It was starting to become every pony for themselves, and the village was splitting apart. That’s when my parents had to make the decision.”

“One morning, they took me to the beach at sunrise. They said they both needed to talk to me. At the time, I didn’t know why they needed to take me to the beach for it, or why the talk had to be so early. The short walk over was dead silent, which was a little worrying to me. Once we got there, my mom immediately started crying, so at this point, I was kinda freaking out. I laid down on the sand and let him explain.”“He told me that he was sorry. I was confused, so I asked why, and he went on to tell me everything. My parents just… didn’t know what to do. They didn’t know how to raise me - how to provide for me. Everypony else on the island was furious they had to suffer just because of me. They knew the only reason I was allowed to stay for so long was because I was supposed to be the new chief and kahuna. But, that didn’t matter to them anymore. My dad said they had no choice but to make me leave. He told me to fly east, and that I’d have better luck adjusting to life on the mainland, and so I did. I don’t think my mom could bring herself to say a word until the end. She said she loved me and gave me a ‘goodbye’.”“I was pretty angry at them when I heard. I thought about staying around anyway, but if I wasn’t wanted, there’d be no point. I figured maybe my dad was right. I packed up the last of the food able to be provided to me in a makeshift bag, and set out for the mainland, never looking back at home. After hours of flying across the ocean, I landed on Equestrian soil for the first time. It was time to start figuring things out.”

“One of the things I miss most about being a colt was being able to surf. I was paddling around ever since I could remember. Because I was always a bit bigger, I started off using one of my dad’s boards, but it didn’t take me long to outgrow it. It got harder and harder for me to stand up on the thing, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to catch waves anymore.”

“But, on my birthday one year, my dad ended up surprising me. There was this guy who made pretty cool boards back home - Banana Hammock was his name. Anyways, my dad got him to make a big enough to hold a pony my size, and I was pretty excited about it. I guess he had to find a really big tree to make the thing; it was around twenty feet long.”

“I really loved that board. It was the biggest anybody on the island had seen by far, but that made things difficult sometimes. It took me a bit to get the hang of steering and stuff, so sometimes there’d be accidents. Some ponies refused to surf the same spots as me, and a lot even wanted me banned from them. My dad wasn’t going to let that happen, though, so I was allowed to stay around. For a few years, I was able to continue doing what I loved…”

“Not anywhere close, that’s for sure. I wasn’t even born in Equestria. I come from a small island miles and miles away from the mainland where things work very differently. It’s like a small community made up of mostly pegasi. There were some earth ponies and all, but no unicorns. I actually had no idea unicorns were so common in Equestria until I came here. Anyway, it’s a really cool place; sorta miss it… Oh! Hold on. I have an idea...”

“Just one more more circle here, annnd… There. I did my best to make this look as accurate as possible. It’ll do.”

“But I don’t WANT to, Snap! Can’t I just sit on these guys and go back to napping? What are they even going to ask?”

“Oh. Um, hey, guys.... My coltfriend is sort of making me do this blog thing, and, uh- Hm... Where to begin..? I suppose I can start by introducing myself. My name’s Ocean Serenity, and I’m a giant pegasus, as some of you probably already know. Currently, I stand at one hundred and thirty feet tall. I tried to weigh myself once, but let’s just say that didn’t work out too well. They don’t call me ‘Tubs’ for nothin’. So, apparently some of you folks have some questions for me, and I’m here to answer. Honestly, I’m not too sure what to expect. Now, let’s find out what people want to know.”