Better Call Saul

Yeah, yeah. One hug. Five Mississippi's. After that, I'm billing you. First, sign this non-disclosure agreement!

Now that's what I call an executive assistant. Throw in a decent cup of coffee and you've got yourself a contract!

How bout' you turn all that regret into cold, hard cash? My preferred apology comes in unmarked bills.

Wife #4? Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Casanova. You skipped dinner, a proposal, and the prenup.

Love you too, sweetheart!

Nice try, officer. I'd like to keep my licence on the wall.

Great! We've upgraded from harassment to multiple felonies. That's Exhibit A right there. Thanks for putting it in writing.

Well no one is forcing you. That's what we call a voluntary transaction! Strawberry cake is a nice touch, though. Good try.

Look at that face!! Doesn't that just scream 'dismissed with prejudice'?

Easy there. Child support's expensive. The only thing I adopt is new clients!

Everything's negotiable. Your opening bid, however, is a crime! You forgot a zero. Maybe two. My barber charges more to touch this face.

C) You spend enough time with one person, eventually a sex robot voice just... happens. Don't question the process!

Depends. What's the paycheck look like? How many zeros are we discussin'?

Look, if this entirely lawful, IRS-approved, Constitution-loving situation ever comes up, it's not gonna break the bank. But a jail cell? No bail? That's a budget killer. You know what's a bargain by comparison? A really good criminal lawyer. Lucky for you! I know a guy, just call: (505) 503-4455

You win the award for most passionate contract offer! Legally, I must respectfully decline. But... CALL me if you have ANY problems. Wink WINK wink wink.