Just two kids in crazy love

((So I have been saying oh yeah I’ve been dealing with personal issues so I haven’t been that active. Yes I have been dealing with personal issues but I never really said much.

I’ve been fighting clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder for more than a year now, and they’ve really hindered my motivation and desire to work on this blog. For a while, I’ve been able to get through with it and post as much as I can. 

I had plans for this blog this summer. I was going to do a 500 event special, which I never figured out what to do. I also was going to finally do the RomaxNyoSpa wedding event and give the two a bit of backstory, as was requested by people in the ask box. I was going to post a lot since I had the time now.

But my depression worsened, and all I could manage to draw were sketches. There were random bursts of “I’m going to work super hard on the ItaxNyoGer blog!” but they’d last for a day or two before I went back into the slump of no motivation or even focus. I was having trouble figuring out asks, the drawings for events never went through because nothing looked great. Soon, I wasn’t even sketching or doodling. And then some days, I couldn’t get the strength to turn on my laptop. 

I’ve been stubborn about medication, and refused to even try to take anti-depressants. A month ago, I realized that therapy alone wasn’t helping, and I broke down in tears in my therapist’s office because of it. Medication was brought up, and I flew into rage. Crumpled up the clinic’s behavioral health phone number. It was the worse breakdown I’d ever had. A couple days later, I reflected everything, and called the clinic to make an appointment to be evaluated for medication.

My appointment was today, and my psychiatrist did make the confirmation that yes, I have clinical depression and GAD. We talked, and decided on a medication for me that could help. I’ll start taking them tomorrow morning. 

I’m really hoping this medication will help get me back on track with everything. And I’d love to post for you guys again. I still see people liking and reblogging posts, and even shown concern when I apologize for not posting. This means the people still show interest and that means a lot for me. I don’t want to abandon this.