Don't know if anyone asks this yet or not, but uh, Roxas, do you ever think you'll forgive Riku for what he did in the past to both you and Xion? Like maybe not even fully forgive him, just enough to tolerate being around him if that makes any sense. If not, do you think the two of you will just fight it out here and there out of spite?
Again sorry if I made no sense ^^'
Makes a lot of sense, actually. It's something I used to think about a lot.
It's difficult for me to imagine fully getting over what happened, having everything taken away from us. Even now that we're together again, it hurts to think about the time we spent apart. And when I think about that hurt, I think about Riku.
But I also think about Xehanort, and the way he ruined the lives of so many people aside from us. The more I learn about him from the others, the more I realise how we were all just puppets or pawns to him. It was all so much bigger than me, Xion and Riku. Both of them did what they did because of DiZ and Saïx, and they only did what they did because of Xemnas and the fake Ansem. And in the end, they're the fault of Xehanort, so it always comes back to him...
Plus, if I'm gonna stay mad at Riku for trying to sacrifice me and Xion for some guy I didn't even know, I'd have to blame Xion, too. And there's no way I'd ever do that, so whenever I blame Riku I feel kinda bad. He'd do anything for Sora, in the same way I'd do anything for Xion. Speaking of Sora: when I first disappeared inside Sora's heart, I could still feel and think a little bit, and all I felt was anger. Anger at Riku and this guy he sacrificed everything in my life for. But then, I got to know him a little more, and I saw just how much light was inside him. I accepted that it really had to be him, because he was the one that could bring everyone back. And after seeing him reunite all of us, I can't help but feel like Riku knew he was gonna do that all along. He trusted him, and now I do too. He makes a good other, after all.
Anyway, Xion told me her and Riku already talked about it some time ago: the conversation lasted about an hour, and apparently most of it was just Riku apologising to her over and over. But I didn't feel like talking about it (especially not for that long) and I think he knew that, because he didn't try to talk to me one-on-one for a while. Whenever it was just the two of us, there was just a long and awkward silence until one of our friends showed up again.
But then, a couple of weeks ago, he came to my room after visiting Naminé and asked if he could ask me something. He looked kinda nervous and so I assumed he was here to apologise, but then he... asked me if I could teach him how to skateboard.
Yeah, turns out he thinks it looks pretty rad when Sora does it and he wants to impress him, so he came to me for help. For the past couple of months we've been meeting up every Thurday to practice around Market Street, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun (although it'll take a while before he can do mid-air 360s: he's not exactly a natural).
I still don't know if I can ever truly forgive him, but I don't think Riku could ever truly forgive himself either. The least we can do is to try to make the best out of the awful situation we both found ourselves in. And if we still feel some resentment for each other after that, we'll just have to do what Hayner and I always do when we're mad at each other: have a Struggle match to swing the anger out of us and then have ice cream afterwards. Works every time.
(Xion keeps trying to take pictures of me and Riku together, sometimes without us knowing. I'm not sure why and it's kinda annoying but I just let it happen atp. No photos of us skateboarding tho because "Riku always looks a little like a dork when he does it" and I don't disagree lmao)
