string ourselves up

Well its been a year already. A year goes by so quickly especially after slowly but surely recovering from traumatic events and a depression. It started in the middle of October where I was diagnosed with depression. Things got worse from there on, I started to be bullied even more than the usual. I couldn’t talk to my two best friends, but thats when I got the worst news of all… One of them had passed away. (Later finding out he was in a coma and it was a mistranslation from his friend) 

It was November 18th. I was breaking down and I was told to kill myself by 6 people that day. It was late at night and I wrote the note. I was going to post it here on tumblr, on this very blog (and my other blogs) but I clicked on post below where I could have put a text post. It was a play button on an audio post. 

Cherbourg - Beirut 

I was 5 seconds into the song and I just paused. I never posted the suicide note. The song changed me in a way I could not touch, I felt better almost as soon as it was over. I had regained a stable breathing pattern and I was barely crying except the fact I was crying because I was thankful for who ever wrote the song. 

A month later after I got out of the hospital I started to get into them more, the more I got into them the happier I became. 

So here I am almost one year later, sitting in my bed, listening to Beirut and smiling more and more. And things just keep getting better for me, better and better. Nico is alive and in a hospital, he woke up from a coma. People have laid back the bullying. My grades in school or improving. I get to talk to my Dad more now. I’m starting to enjoy life, and I’m happy. I’m really happy. So I have to thank Beirut for changing my life entirely and helping it become even better as each day passes, even if now I’m freaking out that I need to meet Zach and thank him for all he has done for me.