this is so polarising because the whole actions-tell-you-how-people-really-feel-about-you ministry will claim that being provided for = love, and what they do for you rather than what they say = love, and running errands and service service service = love love love, and even if there’s truth in this, the need for gestures is largely fuelled by a latent unfulfilled desire to be parented imo. That being said, feelings can be tricky bastards too because if you’re not healthy , feelings can be a coping mechanism you invent all on your own with the other person doing very little to warrant those feelings. I know I’ve interpreted deep care and emotional support where there was none. So idk. I wish I’d had better relationships so I could speak from experience here - the quote resonates with me because I witnessed and experienced a lot of gift-giving as a substitute for love and I’m grateful i have always known the difference. What im learning as a result of these experiences is that I have a lot of love in me that exists without any weird agendas, and tapping into the truth of who I am has opened the floodgates of love in really unexpected and traeasured ways. I feel loved. I feel like love itself. And relationships don’t feature in this at all. Curious to see what’s next. Maybe I had to get here in order for real relationships to find me. Let us see, sha. Very ready for the next chapter.
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