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music is literally so songs as fuck and dont you forget it

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

#the bracelet is also radioactive

"he's like a woman to me" is he or are you just a misogynist and unwilling to engage with female characters?

it makes me think of when i said hillary had slaves in the 1980s, like actual black slaves who were prisoners who had to serve her and her evil ass husband without pay in their mansion, providing free labor for cleaning cooking waiting on them yard work the list goes on, and if they did not comply they would be sent back to prison and risk solitary confinement, and when i said this hundreds of ppl were angry and saying i was attacking a wonderful pure democrat woman who “was fighting for my rights” as a black person…. as if forcing imprisoned black people into slavery and threatening them with cruel retaliation isn’t indicative of who she is as a person

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

shlock brain hurt

not his name.

shamrock going proper mental innit

not even his name.

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell