「 can you keep my secret ？」

he hikes your legs up, and adjusts them over his broad shoulders. his eyes hold your gaze as he lays open mouth kisses among your inner thighs, subtly teasing you as he gets close to but never right where you need him. his mouth would hover over your panties, you could feel his breath as he licked over your panties, starting from the dark spot that covered your hole to your clothed clit, before suctioning his lips around your panty covered clit and sucking just enough to elicit his favorite sounds from you. “kennghh- stop teasin’ me…” your whines muffled as you covered your face in embarrassment.

he’d chuckle, climbing back up to you. your legs now on either side of him as he sits in between your legs. taking your hands away from your face. “awh, baby..” he coos, pressing sweet pecks to the round apples of your cheeks, his rough large hand cradling your face as he gazes at you with eyes full of adoration. “why would i stop when the reactions you give me are this cute?” he pecks your soft lips. he’s hands leave your face as he palms himself through his grey boxer briefs, he grabs your chin making you look down at his bulge and the wet patch that was growing over his crotch. “see what do you to me, sweet thing?” he mutters out, as he takes himself out of his briefs. his hand travels from his base to his thick base to his plump pink tip that was spewing precum. he strokes himself repeatedly before he stands on his knees, his hands gripping your waist and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist.

his hand wraps around his base as he guides it over your slick soaked panties, his pink tip rubbing against the print of you slick folds. his eyes trained on your face, he savors every brow furrow and lip bite you bestow to him. the relief you feel when he uses his pointer finger to pull your panties to the side is indescribable, the cold air brushing past your slick folds making you shiver. with his hand already wrapped around his base, he slaps his thick tip on your folds, his tip occasionally catching on your puffy clit that peaks from in between ur foods with interest, a sticky plap!plap!plap! sound filling the room as your essence mixes with his. reveling in the surprised face you make.

reveling in the surprised face you make. “what are you making that face for, my love?” he messily swipes the tip along your sticky folds, smiling down at you so, so sweetly. “you should know our routine by now.” he leans down to kiss ur agape lips. your hips squirm with impatience, “kentooo.. pleaaasuhhhh…”your whines ringing through his ears. you reach your own hand down and try to get ahold of his dick. he slaps your hand away, “ah, ah, ah..” he tuts with faux disappointment, “a gentleman takes his time with the person he loves…” he once again slaps his tip against ur folds, making you gasp and whine even more than you already were

he smiles before finally pushing his plump pink tip inside, eliciting a soft gasp that turns into a low, satisfied moan, “a gentleman knocks before he enters, you know this, my baby..”

a/n: sorry this was not proofread, sorry i’ve been gone so long, sorry im such a deadbeat, sorry i suck at writing, sorry everyone hates me, sorry my brain is too powerful, IM SORRY OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, i wanted to put this out on his bday but mama had serious writers block lolol, how are we feeling guys??

you caught an attitude after your “sweet” boyfriend suguru intentionally flirted with a waitress at a cafe you were so excited to take him to. like !?! he blatantly called the waitress pet names that he'd only call you, giving her the sweetest smiles, talking in the smoothest tone then tipping her very generously.

not to even get you started, but did she think you didn't see the way she eyed your man with big doe, occasionally batting her long eyelashes at him, suddenly speaking to him in a honeyed tone, leaning across the table to place sugurus alfredo infront of him, purposely showing the valley of her breast through her unbuttoned uniform shirt. steam was practically coming out of both of your ears, but like the classy girl suguru knew you were, you kept your mouth shut. only mugging her slightly, folding your arms across your chest, sighing loudly n rolling your eyes when she'd ask if suguru needed anything. just wanting to go home and tune suguru out

n what really pissed you off is how he kept trying to converse with you after the stunt he pulled !?! so obviously you ignored him on the car ride home while he asked you "what's wrong" he knows what's wrong!?! n then he’d ramble on about how the cafe was just lovely n how the waitress was so sweet ! it was like he wanted to see a vein bulge on your forehead. your eyebrows furrowed, arms folded over your chest, legs facing away from him as you stared out the window. when he tried to rest his hand on ur thigh, he'd glance at you then snicker at ur actions before returning his attention to the road with a small smile on his face

once you got home he gave you one more chance for you to tell him ur woes but instead you stomped away to your shared bedroom. making sure to slam the door behind you.

now he has you folded into a mating press, your legs bent and pressed against your chest as he held his forehead against yours, his breath lightly fanning your face. his pelvis pressed flush against the back of your thighs as he gave you achingly slow strokes, his eyes trained on the lewd expression plastered on your pretty face. he’d keep you on the edge of a mind blowing release, patiently waiting for you to tell him what’s wrong because asshole! suguru just has nooooo idea what he did !!??

you'd fight to keep your eyes open, your mouth slightly agape as pretty lil symphony's rush out of past ur lips "s-suguu- mmmngghh!" you whimpered, staring up at him with now half lidded eyes as his bulbous tip grazed your cervix.

"mhmm.. you gonna let me show you how sorry i am? hm?" he asked you lowly, when you didn't respond due to how intense you were feeling he'd slap you cheek "f-fuh.. oh my gosh-" you sigh not being able to finish ur sentence because of the constant drag of his length in ur confined gummy walls. "speak up sweetie, can't understand you- anghh" he groans as u rack ur nails through his inky strands. "i-i said.." you inhale trying to collect any sense that you still have "fuck youuuu shiiittt…." you groaned when he reached down to toy with your clit. “oh you dont mean that, sweet girl” he cooed as he reeled himself back slightly to stare down at where you two connected.

pulling his hips back to watch as a milky mixture of you both oozes down his pale cock. slowly pushing in and out, occasionally speeding up to get a reaction out of you. a gentle left hand caressing the apple of your cheek before giving it a firm slap, whilst his right thumb hooks under your swollen clit, flicking it up and down gently. “jus be a big hngh- girl n tell me what i did” his breath hitches, teetering on the edge of release as he’d been edging both you and him !!

"fuh-flirtin' with that girl right infrunna m-me.." he chuckles before sucking in a sharp breath at the active clench of your slick pussy. "c-cmon baby" his hips stutter, knowing he's nearing his peak. "you know im sorry, right?" he stares at you with hooded glossy eyes, his left hand coming back up to softly graze your cheek. "forgive me 'n you can cum on this cock, baby." for a second you'd probably think he was actually feeling really.. really apologetic, but knowing suguru he'd probably do it again just to have you in this position once more.

after being edged for so, so long, the word 'cum' leaving his mouth is all you want to hear from him right now. "fine! i f-forgive you sugu!" you cry out feeling him angle his hips up, so each stroke causes his fat cock to poke at that rugged, spongy part deep inside of you. white hot pleasure blinding you, silent scream barely leaves your mouth before suguru presses his lips against yours. his long tongue finding yours as he sucks on it, moaning loudly in your mouth as he pushes you into overstimulation from his nonstop pounding.

if you were to open your eyes to see his face, you be met with a enchantingly chaotic sight. his long inky locks messier than usual, thin eyebrows furrowed with focus, with the prettiest rosy color wiping over his face. he looked pathetic. with one more gasp of your name against your lips, stilling his hips, hot splurts of his creamy seed spills into your awaiting womb, filling up ur tummy with warm ribbons of him. you whine feeling the warmth of him engulf you as he lets his body weight sink onto you.his once stiff cock, comfortably going limp inside of you. his cock acting as plug, keeping his seed snuggly inside of your gooey insides. he sighs deeply, nuzzling his face into your hair as the two of you bask in the afterglow of jealousy sex.

your eyes begin to fall heavy, wanting to succumb to sleep. "do you really forgive me, sweetie?" suguru teasing murmurs into your hair with a sleazy smile that you could pratically hear in that sentence plastered on his stupid face.

"fuck off."

an: suguru is unironically a reddit user, prove me wrong !! anywho yall finally get a work from me after months lololol, there’s no telling when i’ll be back but as always i love yallllllll

“that’s your reality, not mine.” you lie, “i had my first time with my ex, i thought you knew this?” digging yourself deeper into your lies. “no, i didn’t know about that, i’ve been your best friend for how long?” satoru caresses his chin with his thumb and pointer as if he’s lost in thought “and this is the first time i’m hearing about it” his face deadpans at you as if he came to the conclusion that you’re fibbing. “well i don’t have to tell you every little thing satoru. just like you dont tell me about all of these supposed ‘hookups’ you have so often.” you cross your arms across your chest, eyes leaving his very punchable face.

“what,” satoru pushes your legs off of his lap so he could scoot closer to you before hovering over your laying figure, face inches away from yours “you jealous or somethin’?” his teased, smirking in your face. using one your pointer finger to push his face away from yours.

“how could i be jealous of girls who don’t exist” you tease back with a fake smile before deadpanning again. “they are very real and they’re obsessed with me, thank you very much” satoru winks at you.

of course girls are always following satoru around on campus like lost puppies but he has never actually done it with them, right? with satoru always being the topic of conversation, you do find it weird how you’ve never heard of satorus sexual antics.

you finally sit up wanting to entertain him, not knowing that you were both rocking in the same boat. “oh yeah? show me how you do it then, toru” you turn to face the man. secretly something in you always wondered how satoru fucked or if he even fucked at all? maybe he made love, would lay you down gently on his sheets that smell of him, leave a trail of soft kiss down your stomach before lapping on your clit like a parched kitten whilst whispering sweet nothings into the air…. or maybe he’d shove your face into his pillows, his fingers digging into your hips as he digs you out, slamming his hips into you so deep you could feel him bulging in ur lower stomach, grabbing you by your hair to spit in your mouth before slapping your cheek leaving a hot sting behind.

you knew it was perverted and wrong to think about your bestfriend like that but you just couldn’t help yourself. it was only made worse whenever you’re all alone and bored out of your mind, leaving you to get all hot and bothered at the thought of your bestfriends undeniable sex appeal. thinking about him doing more than just the small kisses he’d leave on your cheek and the lingering touches he’d leave on your skin.

“y-you want me to show you?” his face heats up, leaving a noticeable rosy color on his cheeks “might be too much for your virgin eyes” satorus stutter is quickly covered by false confidence. “i’m sure i can take it” your words made him gulp “come on, dont make it weird satoru.” his eyes follow you as you get up from the sofa and stand in between his manspread legs. “let’s reenact it” you say looking down on him.

“okay, w-well first i take ‘em by the hips like this..” his hands shake as he grabs ahold of your hips, a familiar feeling like when he’d place his hand on your hips to brush past you. “ ‘n i bring ‘em on my lap” he gently guided you to sit ontop of his lap, his confidence leading you to believe he was telling the truth about being experienced in this craft.

your thin sleep shorts being almost no barrier against his pajama pantsed crotch. satoru was beginning to internally panic, swore it would never go this far, yeah you’ve kissed a couple of times, left not-so friendly lingering touches on each other, and flirted as much as you breathed but he never would’ve thought he’d have his best friend on his lap getting ready to dry hump him.

“then i- fuck- make ‘em grind on me like this..” he lied through his teeth. truth is, he’d never done anything like this! he believed he was telling on himself by the way his fingers trembled as they grasped ur hips, the way his breath staggered and hitched as he felt the plushness of your hips, and his eyes glazed over as they raked over your figure. his hands travel from your hips, to your butt as he drags you back and forth on bulging crotch. “just like this..” he grunts, his cock rock hard under you, while his eyes are glued to where you both meet.

“shit.. i know ur lying satoru” you huff out, trying not to react when you clit catches on his bulge. satorus eyebrows furrow “m’ not lyin’! you’ve just never done anything like this, so you wouldn’t k—angh!—know!” he flips your accusation back onto you. you don’t even retort back, instead you straight your back so you can take control. slowly grinding ur hips on the thigh his cock was laying hard against. satorus hands that once rested on ur hips, fly to your hips as he tries to halt your movements.

his actions only making you speed up. you notice the way his eyebrows are pinched together, his breathy whimpers become uncontrollable, and the dumb way drool begins to slip from his lips— all telltale signs you’ve seen in your favorite twitter videos that he was about to blow his load. “h-hah..” you gasp out when he rolls his hips up into your slick shorts “look at you toru!” your thumb swipes over his drool coated lip, wiping the drool on his shirt. satoru looks like he’s in a trace when his eyes finally meet yours. while you’re too busy teasing him in his messy state, you fail to notice his nimble fingers slipping under your thin shorts until he rolls your slick clit under his pointed n middle finger.

“toru! that’s n-not fair” you whine as your hips involuntarily buck against his touch, distracting you from getting him off as you chased his fingers. your hands are quick to shimmy his pj pants down just enough to free his throbbing cocking. satoru sucks air through his teeth when he feels your soft hands wrap around his precum glazed cock. “fuck- grip it tighter baby..” he sputters out as his fingers circle around your slick hole before pushing in with no mercy. he doesn’t wait for you to adjust to his finger before massaging through your walls in a ‘come hither’ motion.

“mmngh—! s’ fuckin’ good!” clenching around his fingers as you spat down onto his cock, creating enough slick to freely move you hand up n down on his cock at the immediate fast pace you set. the pleasure becoming all to overwhelming for the both of you, this “reenactment” turning in a competition to see who will crack first. you continued to stroke satorus length, pressing a thumb against his tip every now and then to make him whimper n whine, until you felt a knot building up in your stomach.

hot pressure becoming unbearable as satorus fingers never faltered. the soft ‘click click click’ sound of his middle fingers, massaging deep inside against where you’re weak, his thumb tracing circles on your puffy nub, was all too much for you! “m’ gonna—fuck! don’t stop!” barely giving him a warning before your walks clench around his fingers tight enough to make him groan. you let out a string of incoherent babbles and moans as you make a mess on his fingers. he watches in awe you fall apart from something so simple as fingering, deepening his belief that you must be a virgin like him. he’s snapped out of his head when he realizes even throughout your orgasm, you never stopped your movements on his cock.

rubbing your palm against the tip, using you free hand to stroke his length like you’ve read about online, only makes satoru squirm under you. “mmngh- y-your hand feels so- fuck! good.." satoru bit his lip, trying to suppress the high pitched moans threatening to spill from his swollen lips. “f-fhuck.. wait-baby, wait!” the trembling man under you panics at the pleasure

chest heaving, stomach twisting, his toes curling, plump pink lips slightly parting but no sound leaves it. his hand grips your wrist in a attempt to stop you but you persist anyway. hot spurts on his seed coats your hand and his pj pants as he groans. his beefy forearm moving up to hide his face in embarrassment as his hips buck to chase the last of his release.

a minute goes by of nothing but the noise of both of you heaving and process the moment. satoru is the first to speak, “i’m a virgin.” he says with his arm still slung over his face. “me too” you respond without missing a beat.

“then that’s settled” his arm comes down, revealing a cheeky smile you know all too well. the type of smile that screams trouble

“maybe we can show each other how to do it?”

a/n: sorry for being a deabeat writer :/ this idea/trope has been sitting in my drafts for a while, n it’s honestly just too cute!!!

like wdym we r trying to convince each other that we’ve done it before??

“that’s your reality, not mine.” you lie, “i had my first time with my ex, i thought you knew this?” digging yourself deeper into your lies. “no, i didn’t know about that, i’ve been your best friend for how long?” satoru caresses his chin with his thumb and pointer as if he’s lost in thought “and this is the first time i’m hearing about it” his face deadpans at you as if he came to the conclusion that you’re fibbing. “well i don’t have to tell you every little thing satoru. just like you dont tell me about all of these supposed ‘hookups’ you have so often.” you cross your arms across your chest, eyes leaving his very punchable face.

“what,” satoru pushes your legs off of his lap so he could scoot closer to you before hovering over your laying figure, face inches away from yours “you jealous or somethin’?” his teased, smirking in your face. using one your pointer finger to push his face away from yours.

“how could i be jealous of girls who don’t exist” you tease back with a fake smile before deadpanning again. “they are very real and they’re obsessed with me, thank you very much” satoru winks at you.

of course girls are always following satoru around on campus like lost puppies but he has never actually done it with them, right? with satoru always being the topic of conversation, you do find it weird how you’ve never heard of satorus sexual antics.

you finally sit up wanting to entertain him, not knowing that you were both rocking in the same boat. “oh yeah? show me how you do it then, toru” you turn to face the man. secretly something in you always wondered how satoru fucked or if he even fucked at all? maybe he made love, would lay you down gently on his sheets that smell of him, leave a trail of soft kiss down your stomach before lapping on your clit like a parched kitten whilst whispering sweet nothings into the air…. or maybe he’d shove your face into his pillows, his fingers digging into your hips as he digs you out, slamming his hips into you so deep you could feel him bulging in ur lower stomach, grabbing you by your hair to spit in your mouth before slapping your cheek leaving a hot sting behind.

you knew it was perverted and wrong to think about your bestfriend like that but you just couldn’t help yourself. it was only made worse whenever you’re all alone and bored out of your mind, leaving you to get all hot and bothered at the thought of your bestfriends undeniable sex appeal. thinking about him doing more than just the small kisses he’d leave on your cheek and the lingering touches he’d leave on your skin.

“y-you want me to show you?” his face heats up, leaving a noticeable rosy color on his cheeks “might be too much for your virgin eyes” satorus stutter is quickly covered by false confidence. “i’m sure i can take it” your words made him gulp “come on, dont make it weird satoru.” his eyes follow you as you get up from the sofa and stand in between his manspread legs. “let’s reenact it” you say looking down on him.

“okay, w-well first i take ‘em by the hips like this..” his hands shake as he grabs ahold of your hips, a familiar feeling like when he’d place his hand on your hips to brush past you. “ ‘n i bring ‘em on my lap” he gently guided you to sit ontop of his lap, his confidence leading you to believe he was telling the truth about being experienced in this craft.

your thin sleep shorts being almost no barrier against his pajama pantsed crotch. satoru was beginning to internally panic, swore it would never go this far, yeah you’ve kissed a couple of times, left not-so friendly lingering touches on each other, and flirted as much as you breathed but he never would’ve thought he’d have his best friend on his lap getting ready to dry hump him.

“then i- fuck- make ‘em grind on me like this..” he lied through his teeth. truth is, he’d never done anything like this! he believed he was telling on himself by the way his fingers trembled as they grasped ur hips, the way his breath staggered and hitched as he felt the plushness of your hips, and his eyes glazed over as they raked over your figure. his hands travel from your hips, to your butt as he drags you back and forth on bulging crotch. “just like this..” he grunts, his cock rock hard under you, while his eyes are glued to where you both meet.

“shit.. i know ur lying satoru” you huff out, trying not to react when you clit catches on his bulge. satorus eyebrows furrow “m’ not lyin’! you’ve just never done anything like this, so you wouldn’t k—angh!—know!” he flips your accusation back onto you. you don’t even retort back, instead you straight your back so you can take control. slowly grinding ur hips on the thigh his cock was laying hard against. satorus hands that once rested on ur hips, fly to your hips as he tries to halt your movements.

his actions only making you speed up. you notice the way his eyebrows are pinched together, his breathy whimpers become uncontrollable, and the dumb way drool begins to slip from his lips— all telltale signs you’ve seen in your favorite twitter videos that he was about to blow his load. “h-hah..” you gasp out when he rolls his hips up into your slick shorts “look at you toru!” your thumb swipes over his drool coated lip, wiping the drool on his shirt. satoru looks like he’s in a trace when his eyes finally meet yours. while you’re too busy teasing him in his messy state, you fail to notice his nimble fingers slipping under your thin shorts until he rolls your slick clit under his pointed n middle finger.

“toru! that’s n-not fair” you whine as your hips involuntarily buck against his touch, distracting you from getting him off as you chased his fingers. your hands are quick to shimmy his pj pants down just enough to free his throbbing cocking. satoru sucks air through his teeth when he feels your soft hands wrap around his precum glazed cock. “fuck- grip it tighter baby..” he sputters out as his fingers circle around your slick hole before pushing in with no mercy. he doesn’t wait for you to adjust to his finger before massaging through your walls in a ‘come hither’ motion.

“mmngh—! s’ fuckin’ good!” clenching around his fingers as you spat down onto his cock, creating enough slick to freely move you hand up n down on his cock at the immediate fast pace you set. the pleasure becoming all to overwhelming for the both of you, this “reenactment” turning in a competition to see who will crack first. you continued to stroke satorus length, pressing a thumb against his tip every now and then to make him whimper n whine, until you felt a knot building up in your stomach.

hot pressure becoming unbearable as satorus fingers never faltered. the soft ‘click click click’ sound of his middle fingers, massaging deep inside against where you’re weak, his thumb tracing circles on your puffy nub, was all too much for you! “m’ gonna—fuck! don’t stop!” barely giving him a warning before your walks clench around his fingers tight enough to make him groan. you let out a string of incoherent babbles and moans as you make a mess on his fingers. he watches in awe you fall apart from something so simple as fingering, deepening his belief that you must be a virgin like him. he’s snapped out of his head when he realizes even throughout your orgasm, you never stopped your movements on his cock.

rubbing your palm against the tip, using you free hand to stroke his length like you’ve read about online, only makes satoru squirm under you. “mmngh- y-your hand feels so- fuck! good.." satoru bit his lip, trying to suppress the high pitched moans threatening to spill from his swollen lips. “f-fhuck.. wait-baby, wait!” the trembling man under you panics at the pleasure

chest heaving, stomach twisting, his toes curling, plump pink lips slightly parting but no sound leaves it. his hand grips your wrist in a attempt to stop you but you persist anyway. hot spurts on his seed coats your hand and his pj pants as he groans. his beefy forearm moving up to hide his face in embarrassment as his hips buck to chase the last of his release.

a minute goes by of nothing but the noise of both of you heaving and process the moment. satoru is the first to speak, “i’m a virgin.” he says with his arm still slung over his face. “me too” you respond without missing a beat.

“then that’s settled” his arm comes down, revealing a cheeky smile you know all too well. the type of smile that screams trouble

“maybe we can show each other how to do it?”

a/n: sorry for being a deabeat writer :/ this idea/trope has been sitting in my drafts for a while, n it’s honestly just too cute!!!

like wdym we r trying to convince each other that we’ve done it before??

“Oh thank fuck—c’mere, Baby.”

Katsuki—a Katsuki, you suppose—starts moving independent of the other. He all but collapses into very confused arms, dropping his chin on your head and squeezing you tight. The other one glowers, messily shoving two pairs of boots under the bench with complete disregard for his strict organizational pattern.

“Um…”

You blink at the Katsuki that cradles you. He gives a soft smile in return, one that usually requires blood, sweat, and tears to crack (even if it takes you a significant less amount of blood, sweat, and tears than the average human—they’re blood, sweat, and tears nonetheless) and you don’t know what to do with it. Where to put it.

“Got hit with a fucker’s quirk,” the other Katsuki explains after giving up on making the boots fit. Typically, there aren’t two pairs, but one—and the shoe rack is feeling the added pressure.

“So…it’s the quirk that split you in two,” you ask, even though you know. The answer is staring you right in the face, but, like. Just in case.

The Katsuki still holding onto you grunts in agreement, and you finally manage to peel away. He steps back as the other Katsuki steps forward, and you finally get a good look at how identical they are. Which, obviously, but it’s still slightly alarming, nonetheless. Like…the shining twins, if they were blond and angry. And covered in grime.

“Holy shit…” your eyes dart between the two of them, trying to find discrepancies in anything other than mismatched dirt. You find none, save for the way they hold themselves. You need better names—you can’t keep calling them Katsuki and other Katsuki.

“Do…you know when it’s going to wear off?”

A self-indulgent question. Perhaps.

“Fuckin’—no.” Angry Katsuki digs a knuckle into his ear, and the other one yawns. “They gotta track the fucker down, first. Apparently, I can’t do my goddamn job like this.”

He gestures between the two of them, and you teeter your head in semi-agreement. The other Katsuki pipes up, and god, you need better names.

“’M not pissed about it, though,” He steps out of line to grab the hand limp by your side, kissing your knuckles with the lightest touch you’ve ever felt. “Means I get to see you.”

Oh?

“I am,” angry Katsuki growls, slapping his counterpart’s hand away from yours. “I should be out there, hunting that mitosis motherfucker.”

“If you go out there, you’re killing him,” other Katsuki defends. Angry Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Fuckin’ exactly.”

Other Katsuki just sighs, turning back to you. Immediately his features soften along with his voice. “How’ve you been today, Baby? I left early.”

“Um…good? This is just…” you peer around Katsuki’s body to view the other one, who rolls his eyes again, almost completely ignoring your presence. That is, until:

“Ima fuckin’ shower,” he grumbles, and walks down the hall.

“A lot?” Other Katsuki finishes for you, watching his parallel until he disappears into the bedroom, and you nod.

Something like that.

“Okay. Kat.” You point to Angry Katsuki, who’s now glowering on the couch, much like he did at the front door, and much cleaner than before. Your finger shifts to Other Katsuki, until his head becomes a small point at the top of your fingernail. “Suki. That way, if I call, you both don’t come running. Cool?”

While Suki nods his head with diligence, Kat finally smiles. Not the soft smile that’s reserved for you, but the self-satisfied smile reserved for villains, the one that barely hides his hunger for blood.

“Hear that, Nerd? I’m Kat, not your bitch-ass.”

Suki blinks, relatively confused, and tips his head to the side. “Why the fuck does that matter?”

“’Cuz I’m the original!” Kat says loud and proud, digging a thumb into his chest. “Not you.”

“…Again, why the fuck does that matter,” Suki grumbles, less a question and more an observation. A statement. “We got split in two. We’re two halves of the same person, not a copy-paste.”

“I fuckin’ know that, shit stick.” Kat’s hands crackle at the prospect of being challenged, and while Suki tries to hide the way he shrinks in on himself, you throw a spare pillow at Kat’s head.

“Ow, what the fuck!”

“No explosions in the house!”

Kat grumbles, but his hands fizzle out. He shakes them out at his sides. “’M not doin’ this shit—’m goin’ to bed.”

“Ah-Ah! No,” you say, and Kat freezes like you grabbed him physically, like there’s an invisible wall that separates the living room from the rest of the house. “You said we’d watch that move tonight, remember?”

“We said,” he amends, looking unimpressed before jerking his head to Suki. “Make him watch it.”

“No! It’s exactly like you said—you both promised. Technically,” you smile and look at Suki, who, honestly, looks like there’s no other place he’d rather be—he just watches you talk with his chin propped on a hand and love in his eyes. “So. We’re both watching it.”

“Fuckin’—fine,” Kat groans, loud and obnoxious, and to the ceiling. He sits back down with a huff. “But I swear to God, if it’s some fuckin’ Twilight shit again—”

“It’s not.” You get up only to shove Kat over with a hip, quitting his manspreading, and make yourself enough room between them. He lets you. Suki wraps both arms around your middle, and cuddles you close and tight, like you might up and disappear tomorrow. “That was one time—”

“One horrible time, when I was forced to watch five fuckin’ movies of absolute bullshit—”

“It wasn’t that fuckin’ bad,” Suki defends with a quiet grumble, and you want to scoop him up and run away with him. “’S…campy.”

“Thank you,” you nod, before redirecting your attention to Kat, patting him on the leg. “See? Suki understands quality content when he sees it.”

“Get the fuck out my face.”

You don’t put on Twilight—but you do put on Argylle, and that’s not much better.

“So, you’re tellin’ me,” Kat trails off, and you watch the movie flicker in carmine eyes. “That the whole damn time, this chick was writing a book that predicts the future—”

“Specifically a spy-future, yes—”

“And, that’s why…y’know what? Fuck this shit, my head hurts.”

“You have no sense of whimsy,” you sigh, unimpressed. Kat rolls his eyes.

“Listen, Sweetheart,” He fills his voice with faux saccharine, artificial flavoring, and you scowl at the mockery. “I got a job—a real serious job. Don’t got fuckin’ time for ‘whimsy.’”

Kat hangs air quotes with a hand, and that just pushes your frown deeper.

“Oh, and I don’t?” you smile, but it’s just as artificial as his words. Kat glowers, and behind you, Suki goes:

“Uh oh…”

“Somethin’ like that.”

With a huff, you snatch him by blond spikes—and, if Kat is even a little tenderheaded as Katsuki is…

You yank and pull upward, and Kat rises with your grip. Yep. “Ow, what the fuck?! Ah—okay, fuck, I’m sorry—”

He hisses, face twisting in agony—and finally, you relent the torture. You let him go with a satisfied smile, and Kat snarls at you, rubbing the soft points of his head.

“What did we learn?”

Suki snickers under his breath. “Fuckin’ nothing.”

Kat scrambles at that, getting to his feet in preparation to attack. Fear flashes across Suki’s face, making you wonder if his statement was supposed to come out quieter, perhaps unheard. He scrambles over the arm of the couch, and you get thrown around in his rush.

“You’re fuckin’ dead meat!” Kat hollers. Suki takes off in a mad dash.

It isn’t before long that they’re chasing each other in circles around the couch, like a pack of wild dogs, snarling and huffing and puffing. (With the occasional spark—which you’re quick to put out.) You watch your movie, and occasionally, them, and eat the majority of the popcorn in the process.

Eventually, they collapse back onto the couch and into their respective sides, twin chests heaving and glistening in sweat until their breath makes the mile long trek to catch up.

“You two done?” You ask, but never take your eyes off the screen. It’s getting to the good part.

Suki nods. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kat snaps, and you double check to make sure he isn’t talking to you (because, if he is—you’re locking him in the basement), but he’s still glaring at Suki like he murdered his family. “You piss me the fuck off.”

“Clearly,” Suki snorts, this time quiet enough for Kat to not hear. Still vaguely out of breath, he squeezes your thigh to get attention, and slings his other arm behind you. “I wan’a kiss. Can I get a kiss, Baby?”

You giggle, because as stated, soft Katsuki is a Katsuki you’re used to having to work for, and then some. His hand lifts to your chin as you say, “Sure, Suki.”

And then, you’re getting snatched back by your pajama shirt, nearly choking in the process with an embarrassing and garbled noise.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely not,” Kat grunts, and you nearly fall backwards into his lap. “My girlfriend.”

“Your—” Suki cuts himself off with a scoff, grabbing your hand and pulling you up again—up and away. “One, we’re the same damn person, she’s both our girlfriend. And two, I want my fuckin’ kiss.”

Back.

“Well, that’s too damn bad,” Kat huffs, and you’re yanked again. This is starting to get dizzying. “I don’ want your bitch lips all over her.”

Forth.

“Okay,” Suki chuckles, and you’re tipped forward. Seriously? “And, I don’t want your ugly ass mug anywhere near my girl, so—”

Back.

“Oh, now it’s ‘your girl’—I thought we—”

Forth.

“Yeah. My girl, ‘cuz you don’ even know how to treat her.”

Back—Forth.

“You’re loud, and rude, and angry—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth.

“Y’don’t appreciate shit that she does for us, and it fuckin’ shows—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth. Back and Forth and Back.

“Yeah, and she loves me for it anyway, Dipshit—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth an—

“Can you two quit it!”

When they still, you go tumbling forward and into Suki’s lap—which, Kat doesn’t like very much, and grumbles under his breath about it.

“Sorry, Baby.”

“Fuckin’ what.”

“You guys realize I can kiss both of you, right?” Your words border on exasperated. Kat rolls his eyes.

“Fine—I get first.”

“No, I do!”

“I will blast you to goddamn smithereens.”

“Fine! At least I get my fuckin’ kiss—”

“Oh my god,” you groan aloud, running hands over your face and sinking deeper into the couch. It’s endless. “Y’know what? No. Stand up.”

You pat both of their backs to urge them upwards, and they follow. Standing side by side and watching you—and if you thought that one set of Katsuki’s eyes were intimidating enough, try two.

“Okay, Suki—you asked first, so you go first.”

Kat grumbles under his breath, something about ‘well if I fuckin’ knew that, woulda asked ages ago,’ but relents relatively quiet. Suki bends over with a smile, cradling the side of your face to lift it higher.

“Thank you, Baby.”

Katsuki’s lips always feel warm, and Suki’s are no different—they move slow and soft and patient, like he knows what’s coming, when it’s coming, so might as well take his time until he can see the finish line. He inhales like he could breathe you in, and the hand cupping your face tightens with want and satisfaction.

When Suki pulls away, you’re both breathless, and he rests his forehead against yours. “Missed you.”

But, before you can respond—

Suki is shoved out of the way, out of frame, and in comes Kat, who would be on fire if he could. “Y’call that a fuckin’ kiss? Watch and learn, Loser.”

Kat grabs you by the chin and kisses you with weight. He presses into you with his upper body, using a free hand to rest on the back of the couch, and placing a knee between your legs. Kat kisses you into the cushions and out of any breath you have left, leaving you scrambling for air.

“How was that,” Kat asks once pulling away, dragging his thumb across your kiss-swollen lips. You swoon, before remembering that this Katsuki is downright evil.

“It was…um…” you try to say fine, try to say okay, I’ve had better, but the weight of two intense stares fill your veins and cloud your judgement. And, just overall ability to speak as a whole.

“See Dumbass, what’d I say?” Kat hollers over his shoulder, standing up to glare at his doppelgänger. “Kiss her right and she fuckin’ melts.”

Suki bristles at that, but doesn’t bite back with words. Instead, he quietly assumes Kat’s place with a hum, thumbing the highest point of your cheek as he looks down. He studies you.

“Mmm…looks pretty solid to me,” Suki mutters, tilting your head every which way, like he’s trying to find something that’s not there. Kat yells from the back, ‘shitty ass joke!’ “Wha’d’ya think, Baby? Who’s better?”

“Um,” you swallow, and try to stifle your inner goblin. “I don’t…I think I’ll need more than that to…y’know…know?”

And, yet. The goblin comes out, anyway. (At least she’s respectful, this time.)

Suki teeters his head in consideration, and Kat snorts from behind him. “Fuckin’ pervert.”

You gawk. Because, like, yes, but also, “how am I supposed to know based off a three second kiss?”

“Valid question.”

“Listen—I don’t know about Mr. Chastity over here, but mine was definitely longer than three seconds.”

Suki gives him a look over his shoulder, and though you can’t see it, you can guess based off the way he goes, “Seriously?”

“I said what I said.”

You see the tail end of Suki rolling his eyes as he turns back to you, and the look of pure annoyance on his face shifts to one of affection. His thumb brushes your cheek again, as he leans forward, close enough for you to feel his breath across your lips.

“Well, Baby? Should we prove that fucker wrong?”

But, you’re not paying attention to much else other than the way Suki’s lips round and soften to form words that you barely hear. So, you just nod, let out a quiet ‘uh huh,’ and let him close the distance.

Suki kisses you with more passion this time around, but less vigor and aggression than Kat. You feel comfortable and grounded, and gasp, hands finding the middle of his shirt as he tilts his head to the side. You don’t get kissed stupid like you do with Kat—like the earth got flipped upside down and you just have to deal with it—but held and loved, and that’s stupefying enough.

Suki moans into your mouth, making your body run both hot and cold. It takes ages and alcohol to convince Katsuki to make a sound, to stop holding himself back, but this one might not. This one might not, and God, if that doesn’t make your head spin.

A tongue licks the seam of your lips but never pushes further than that, just enough for you to be aware of the threat and the want, but never enough to give. You whine, pushing deeper—and Suki smiles against your lips like that was exactly what he wanted, before his hand encompasses the front of your neck to squeeze, restricting your airflow just enough.

When he pulls away, the hand around your neck slides to your collarbones, and your eyes flutter shut. It continues to snake lower, past the waistband of your sweats and even lower than that, until two fingers run along your folds. They’re gone as quick as they came, and Suki pulls them out to reveal—

“See? She’s soaked.”

Kat growls, but before he can say anything, Suki tucks both fingers into his mouth and sucks. It’s obscene, and you think you see his tongue poke through at some point.

But then, he’s getting shoved in the shoulder, falling into the couch and more importantly, away from you, as Kat takes his place between your legs. Before you have time to protest (which—you won’t, but you might’ve for a second, for like, posterity) Kat is shoving your sweats down to your ankles, clearly tired of playing fair.

“I’m sick of his shit,” he grumbles, shifting your hips forward until you’re nearly laying flat. “Aren’t you sick of his shit, Princess?”

You don’t really know what to say to that. Luckily, you’re not given much time to—Kat sticks his tongue out and licks a fat stripe up your pussy, swirling his tongue around your clit, and dragging it back down.

“Fuckin’—take your goddamn time,” Suki growls, and Kat just rolls his eyes and continues his ministrations. “I worked hard to get her that fuckin’ wet, y’know—”

Kat only pulls his mouth away to give his double an incredulous look, pointing at your pussy like you’re not even there. “Oh, you think you did this.”

“I know I did,” Suki snarls at the slight, and when Kat chuckles around your clit, it makes your thigh seize. “But, fine—fuck her dry like an animal. See if I care when she comes runnin’ to me ‘cuz y’don’t know what the fuck you’re doin’.”

Kat doesn’t grace his words with more words, just flips a middle finger in his direction before that hand finds your thigh. Only to spread your legs wider, broaden his plate, and you nearly keel over when he sucks too hard.

“He bein’ too rough?” Suki coos, grabbing you by the jaw and running a thumb along it’s sharpest point. “’S okay if you can’t cum, Baby—he has absolutely no finesse.”

Suki rips Kat away from you by the hair, his lips flushed and glossed from you, and yanks him out of the way. Kat snarls and lets his palms pop, but one halfhearted glare from you, and they fizzle right out.

“He’s being a dick!” Kat defends, gesturing at the perpetrator with open hands—said perpetrator simply settles between your legs, licking his lips. Kat is ignored.

Suki moves a lot slower than Kat does—still hot and heavy, but languid, like he knows you’re not going anywhere any time soon. He licks you up and down, avoiding places that would do anything more than simmer. But, even low heat will eventually come to a boil, and your breath hitches when a finger brushes your entrance.

Kat yawns. “I’m fuckin’ bored.”

Suki rolls his eyes and can’t help but pull away, get another word in—but his finger finally quits (some of) the teasing and plunges right in. You shiver, then melt. “Well, that’s too damn bad.”

“Yeah, it is—make her scream or somethin’ before I fuckin’ fall asleep.”

“Oh, please fall asleep,” Suki insists, but never takes his eyes away from you—your pussy—as he berates his double, too fascinated by the way you squeeze and relax around him. “I’d love if you fell asleep—I could be both of us, and she wouldn’t even notice.”

Kat barks out a laugh, loud and sarcastic. “You get mad at me for bein’ rude, then you call her stupid? Some white knight.”

“No,” Suki says, and adds another finger and curls them upward—it makes your leg kick involuntarily, and it probably would’ve done some damage if he didn’t catch it in time. “I’m callin’ you basic. Bitch.”

“Oh, you fuckin—”

“Guys! Please!” You scream at the ceiling. You’re exhausted and annoyed, semi-horny and so far away from the finish line. “Stop arguing—do you want me to cum or not?” 

And, well. That shuts them up quicker than you expected.

“Absolutely, Baby.”

“Ugh—fuckin’ whatever.”

Suki focuses on you, after that. Kat tries to distract him with playground insults, tugging at his hair like a childhood bully, but the most he gets in response is a middle finger. Suki hoists your thigh onto his shoulder, and, when you wiggle too much, uses a free hand to pin your waist in place.

It’s an embarrassingly short amount of time until you feel the fire in your belly turn dangerous, like wind carrying bonfire embers into trees to ignite them. It’s not your fault—there’s two pair of eyes when there should be one, equally eager, equally fascinated. Kat catches your chin and pulls you in for a rough kiss, and Suki’s eyes flutter when you squeeze around him, like he’s fingering himself and feeling every curve of his fingertips.

You squirm, understanding the specifics of the feeling that builds and hating them. “Ah fuck—think I’m gonna…?”

“Squirt?” Suki finishes with a knowing smile, like that’s what he’s been aiming for this whole time, and you bristle.

“Fuck you,” you pant, but it get infinitely harder to argue as your vision starts to blur with your breathing. “Yes, Asshole.”

“Hot,” Kat nods in agreement, and if you had the wherewithal to, you’d chuck a pillow in his face. Again.

“You know I hate this.” You give Suki an half-hearted glare, and he fights the smile growing on his face. “Why do you do this to me.”

“Because it’s hot,” Suki hums, and honestly, he deserves a pillow to the face as well. “C’mon, Baby—relax, let it happen.”

He starts stroking your thigh like that’s going to help any. It doesn’t, and the stick you use is no longer good enough to defend your impending orgasm, which is horrible, horrible news for the couch cushion. You’ll need to flip it over. Again.

(So—maybe you should just buy a new cushion, at this point. And avoid sitting in your usual spot on the couch.)

While the orgasm doesn’t catch you by surprise, the strength of it does. Your thighs squeeze around Suki’s head as much as they’re able—as much as he allows—and a hand finds Kat’s to hold on tight and squeeze. You feel Kat fall into your shoulder, or maybe you fall into his. Your body burns, buzzes, anything that starts with a b that sounds hot. You’re hot. On fire, actually.

You don’t open your eyes until the feeling subsides—in time to watch Suki pull away, face soaked, and the couch cushion even more so. Kat takes two fingers and runs them along your folds, only to dip them into his mouth and hum with contentment.

“Sweet, right?”

“Fuck yeah.”

And you, feeling the wet cushion under your back, haven’t decided whether you’re going to smother both (?) your boyfriends in their sleep.

(You make both of them sleep on the couch that night—the wet couch that’s their fault. Kat doesn’t get it, he didn’t even do anything. Suki accepts his fate with a knowing grin.)

© mamashima/pumaya. do not edit, translate or copy my work without my permission. do not use for ai. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI.

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