Ai

I’m watching

𝝑𝑒 ⏜ ︵ your graduation , jason todd 𓈒

　　There has always been a distinct connection between the two of you, an invisible string that bonds you two together and pulls you back to each other no matter what or no matter when — you can’t quite describe it.

He will always watch you, gaze drawn in by the sight of you even if he is far away.

You are always looking out after him, gaze searching even if you aren’t supposed to notice him.

Like today, when you felt his eyes on you. You cannot explain the feeling but there is some sort of faint tingling right against your neck, a ghost of a touch whenever he looks at you. So you don’t hesitate to turn around, mind racing just to find him.

And you do. Your eyes clashing seconds after. You part yourself from your group, feet automatically bringing you closer to him while his own feet were planted on the ground. The closer you get, the harder your heart beats. Because you are happy. Although, you don’t openly show it.

“You came.” you stand inches away from him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his own body.

“Well, what did you expect?” he scoffed, hands unclenching in his pockets as soon as he hears your voice.

“Thank you.” it’s quiet, hangs in the air so lightly — that you two fear of breaking the silence.

So, you decide to swallow, clearing your throat before your lips curve into a smile. He feels the tension wearing off his shoulders, gaze averting from yours because he can’t—can’t keep staring into your eyes. Because he can’t bear the sight of you, as if you could see right through him. As if he laid his soul bare just for you.

If he had a soul, that is.

He listens attentively, ears only picking up the sound of your movements. It fills his mind, it calms him down, it makes him feel complete. Somehow. Then he dares to look at you again, watches how the gown slides off your shoulders with ease, watches how you take off the cap. He parts his lips to say something, anything. To stop you from continuing.

But he keeps his mouth shut, because he knows damn right it won’t stop you. And you smile because you know he won’t walk away.

“Y’know, you’ve always been smarter than me.” you reminisce in your past and drape the black gown over his shoulders, the black cap right on top of his head, “A lot smarter.”

“You’re acting childish.” there’s no venom in his voice, no annoyance behind his eyes.

“It’s for you.” you push down the cap to cover his sight.

“It’s your graduation.” he tries to reason, doesn’t even stop you from doing so.

“—No, it’s not my graduation. It’s yours.” you pause for a moment, then corrected yourself, “our graduation.”

The gown and cap hang off his figure as if he is the one who graduated, as if he belonged here, as if he deserved it. But in reality, he did. He deserved to graduate, to grow up, to receive a normal childhood. Yet he didn’t get to, so you share yours. Your graduation, your growth, your childhood.

“Looks great.” you tilt your head slightly, “congratulations on graduating, Jason Peter Todd.”

Jason is glad that you covered his eyes to not see the sting, that you gave him privacy and didn’t dare to see him crying.

Since you knew from the very beginning there would be tears threatening to fall, since you knew him from the very beginning.

✮⋆˙

Mama, I don’t wanna die.

I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.