Perpetual Household's Arguments
On this last Thursday of July, I managed to make myself working from home. The day before was eventful: supplier visit with fellow engineer from office before attending semi-routine rendezvous with my "circle" from industrial engineering alumni in Blok M. It was such a rare occasion for me to secure Ira's permission for hanging out after working hour. Today, I started my day with taking Aa Kay to school - 300 meters away from where we live. He had been a primary school student by this month, and it still amazed me on how fast this child grow. Afterward, I took Ira to Versailles (not the palace) so she could get on Sinar Jaya to Jakarta. We almost missed the ride but with all the fortune left I had; we stopped the bus before it went into highway.
Then I drove the car (CRV 2012) to the nearby air-conditioner (AC) workshop. For the fourth time in four months. The car had always been problematic with its AC. Since the beginning we traded out our first car (Brio 2019) with this one, the AC had been the source of argument between Ira and I. My brother had just been married in 2023 and my mother thought that he needed better car than the one he inherited from our late father (Starlet 1997). They persuaded me into taking the deal even though initially I was not interested, let alone Ira, in changing (upgrading?) my ride.
This year, we had spent over IDR 10 million already to patch up the CRV. Mostly, the makeover was made on AC, but the wobbling front-left tire did not help our household financial planning either. For the first time in three years, I fully took Ira's side in considering getting rid of this deteriorating car.
The car is my first luxury, and automatic gearshift car. I had never dreamt of having this kind of car at the current stage of my life (early 30s). Yet my mother's desire to tie everything into its place won out - the car was offered by her sister's husband (my uncle). My mother thought it would suit my needs as an emerging patriarch, while helping my uncle's business by keeping the money within the extended family.
I enjoyed driving this car - truly. It had been a convenient ride so far despite all the ruckus I ought to go through with Ira. I knew deep down, she also had soft spot for it. But I could understand her frustration in keeping up with the constant unplanned spending, and knowing her nature, she would put the blame upon me by keeping her jutek face on until God knows when. This car, and my hunger for books. She could not help but sending her protests that I spent too much unnecessary fund on these two items. I could not be more assured that I loved books more especially since I travelled to a lot of overseas places.
This constant argument had caused severe mental strain on both Ira and I. We felt less secure in deciding what we would like to do during the weekend. Staying at home felt safe but also, it could be unforgivingly unlively since we agreed to cut off all the screen time so Bianca would not suffer from speech delay and focus deficiency like her brother. In the meantime, going out seemed to be more exciting but then the options to be explored were limited due to the incessant risk of spending on emergency stuffs - like broken AC!
I believed we should have intimate time more often but her daily trip to Jakarta made it almost impossible to increase the frequency without me begging for it - which still not even close. What the hell are we even doing. Maybe a trip to a psychologist is already overdue. Maybe we should leave the kids with their grandparents for a while for Ira and I to have breathing space that we deserve. The suffocation is too realistic.
