sun: ♑ moon: ♌ rising: ♓

Do you love yourself fully and madly the way you want to be love? My guess is not, because we always want the things we should give ourselves before we can receive it from the outside. Everything starts from within, one big lessons I learned in 2020. Ive heard it too many times but I finally felt it and saw it.

I've been holding myself not to expose certain big spiritual YouTubers and their complete ignorance and idiotic opinions on that subject.

I let go a few idiotic statements such as "no need for fear, send light and food vibes, think positively" implying that negative thoughts have led to this situation.

But I couldn't let go certain YouTubers "educating" their audience with wrong facts on the coronavirus. I can't let go of the same creators saying that the measurements their country is taking such as shut downs and quarantine is unnecessary also telling their followers to "wash their hands" and "masks are not unnecessary, they are only for infected people ".

All I will say is educate yourselves and read a lot from trusted sources because I can tell you everything this apparently medical spiritual guru wrote in her IG is all wrong and dangerous.

I was so mad that I was contemplating not once an "exposed" video however I will be throwing myself in a pit of bitter and hateful snakes.

I've been mistreated not once from those big spiritual gurus on YouTube and I have screenshots and evidence of their malicious and malevolent behaviour. I gave them the benefit of the doubt because I'm naive but I realize I just let them walk over me.

Please be aware of whom you follow and whom you listen to. As soon as you question them and they try to silence you, that's a red flag. A few of them have inflated egos and narcissistic traits that I tried to ignore again and see the positive side but there is none. It's just a slow painful road to corruption that we all get to witness.

I genuinely hope those people will fade out because I can't imagine the guidence they are giving to people if they manipulate people with spiritual terms such as "I just read your vibration and it's shit".

I've had enough of those arrogant and privileged folks. I don't support cancel culture but it seems it's necessary when individuals fail to grow and see their wrongs and develop the God Complex.

Be discerning please.

Because I’m not sure if I do. 

I followed this movement for 2 or 3 years, maybe longer unconsciously. But the more I was getting into communities the darker the energy got. 

I kept seeing women who every time they saw 22:22 or alike it meant to them their twin flame is thinking of them, or they are closer, or whatever they wanted to tell themselves. Many were suffering because they were anticipating something “promised” from the heavens that might never arrive. (at least not in the form they were expecting it to)

The twin flame community was resembling awfully a cult at one point. There was always a leader, a guru, someone who was already in union, or if not, they claimed they knew a lot. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I know sometimes people do it out of pure good will, and just desire to help others. I get that, very well. 

But this wasn’t working for everyone. It wasn’t producing the results people wanted to see.

Was it completely useless then? I wouldn’t say. It challenged many people to heal from unhealthy tendencies and forced them to heal wounds from the past. It did the same for me. It healed me. Just that. I’m still single, no union or near it, lol. 

I don’t know if twin flames are something real or if they exist, I don’t even know if I’ve experienced it, or made certain people and events “fit the picture”. I don’t know anything about this journey. But I do know one thing. It led me to me. 

It taught me how to love myself more and how to love others even more. How to appreciate any moment for what is given. It made me comfortable in my own skin. Confident in my own demons and flaws.

Maybe the twin flame concept was just an utopia, because lets face it, it’s hard to witness healthy relationships. There is always some form of abuse, lying, cheating and betrayal. That’s the most common picture we get. We didn’t want to experience that, yet somehow we did the most with this twin flame trial. 

Funny. Life has humor. 

The thing is, it was silly to preach about twin flames (myself included) because no one knew anything about it. We were just speculating and trying to make sense of something that made no logical sense. One thing is for sure, there is masculine and feminine. Within all. That’s all I know and am certain about.

But are we part of the same soul? Are unions imminent? Are we promised this heavenly union? Do we even have a counterpart? All of us? Or it’s only for the chosen ones? I don’t know. 

I just don’t know. It appears to be God’s will, even for someone as logical as me. The more I look for answers, the less I find them. 

Oh, wow. 2020 came in with a bang. 😱

I know I took a very long break from readings ,because I truly wasn't feeling it, instead I tried to focus some on my art career. But lately I've been feeling drawn to reading again. I know January is challenging many people (myself included ) and I've found readings to be very healing and therapeutic.

Hey you! So here is my fiverr account where I say I will draw anything for you... and I will, hehe. 

Tyrande - Digital SpeedPainting (World of Warcraft)

Hi there! SO it’s been awhile, and I know that’s not my typical video which was tarot readings... BUT, things happened, and I decided to follow my dreams haha. I’m an artist by heart, but I was never too brave to pursue that, because I never thought I was good enough or I could be good enough. 

That change. Here  I am heh. 

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