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🧠: Okay so what I'm seeing here is a lot of prologned stress which seems to be triggering a lot of trauma responses
🧠: I think the most efficient thing to do is eliminate or otherwise minimise the sources of stress--
🫀: Angst comfort to fluff where self insert is unwell physically and mentally
🫀: Angst no comfort bad ending where self insert is unwell physically and mentally
🧠: Yeah okay I don't think that's going to fix--
🫀: Angst where self insert refuses to be vulnerable but is comforted anyway
🫀: Angst where self insert breaks emotionally and it's messy but is comforted anyway
🧠: You're just putting a bandaid over--
🫀: MORE ANGST
🫀: PILES OF ANGST
🫀: ANGST WHERE SELF INSERT DESTROYS THEMSELF AND HAUNTS THE NARRATIVE FOREVERMORE
Sometimes I think about how silly it is that I of all people fuck heavy with Devil May Cry; like this is who's typing this
Stupid blorbo rant underneath cut
Of course I reach that stupid wonder "Would Simon fuck with DMC?" unsure. I'm mostly cautious about 5 though with the qliphoth and all. Oh you know the big fuck off tree siphoning human blood. I feel like that'd venture too close to trigger territory. The rest though? I don't think it'd be too triggering religiously because I think Eden's religion didn't really have demons or Satan or anything. Perhaps the gameplay of DMC would be good at keeping Si's attention and learning the style system + combos and stuff could help. Although it DEFINITELY couldn't be the first game you give him, maybe not even the tenth. Along with that, please never give him a rage game.
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The AU/fic with my IL s/i has tons of ultra specific headcanons like that there were more settlements on other planets or planet systems (mostly Jupiter moons) and Martians mostly became Edenites whereas the rest split out as others (which eventually all came together as the COI). Simon is from Mars and Sebastian is from Callisto. Jovians typically didn't become Edenites, there's a very very small percentage of those who did and Sebastian is one of them. So there's a few culture differences when it comes to Simon and Seb.
The timeline would probably be roughly like
Simon born on Mars & Seb born on Callisto (They're around about the same age)
Simon joins Eden
Seb joins Eden (a little later that Simon)
Seb doesn't exactly fit in (because of being different) but he manages through most social situations due to being more of a social butterfly as a young kid (based off of myself when I was a kid)
Seb befriends Simon (who I headcannon to be more of a shy/timid kid, at least when he was little. Besides it gives a good contrast); they become best friends
The Quiet Rapture happens and everyone becomes 'meaner' (kids perspective) due to the distress and horror of such event + the stress of having to survive under harsh conditions
Simon becomes a soldier very young, for a period he becomes withdrawn from everyone (even Seb, so their friendship stagnatesfor a bit)
Seb starts to reach out to Simon who's very slowly opening up and I mean VERY slowly
Seb becomes a solider much later than Simon did (This sort of closes the gap between the two so they become close again, closer than they were before)
As they go through this, Simon gets turned into more of a tank and killer whereas Seb struggles to gain weight and has other issues (based off of me irl) so he learns more about tinkering and stealth which is how they even out their duo. Simon does most of the combat and killing whereas Seb does a lot of tricks and is able to break into shit. This doesn't mean that Seb doesn't kill or that Simon isn't crafty: they very much do/are it's just that it's not really seen as their main thing
Around teenhood Simon starts to rise to infamy (Making Simon a little egotistical), slowly less and less people are willing to work with him, meaning eventually all of his missions are being done with Seb who never complains; they have the bond of two soldiers on a battlefield who are also teenagers who have issues.
I imagine it's stuff like nobody wants to sleep in the same quarters as Simon because they're intimidated by him so he doesn't sleep in the soldiers barracks but completely different quarters (and they stuff Seb in there too to save space). I also feel like they'd rarely spend time in any sort of cafeteria during mealtimes due to that sort of stuff so they mostly just eat in their quarters.
They sorta just become each other's everything but they can't let the other know they're that attached because in Eden that's sort of a bad thing. They're also insecure and avoid emotional vulnerability like the plague (Eden will make you like that) so they NEVER talk about ANYTHING emotionally charged. If they fuck up there's never really apologies, they either eventually get over it enough to forget about it or they pretend to causing it to just simmer. This doesn't stop them from lashing out tho, which they will. They never really resolve shit, it just cools off and they try not to do it again. There is never a conversation or shared understanding like there should be.
Then after this is like filament station stuff which is for later methinks.
I have always found malformed attachments very very interesting so that's why I'm exploring that here; I don't conde this sorta stuff and it's bad OBVIOUSLY. Obviously it's not healthy nor is it safe but do you think the death cult cares? No. They'd probably exploit what they've got going on to make them kill more people or get more resources.
Anyway tldr; their relationship is toxic and bad and I don't want to normalise that just because I'm exploring it.
I literally never talk about my main Iron Lung s/i (His name is Sebastian; one of the names I rotate for s/is) but their main love language between each other is bitching at each other. A lot of that and teasing. But these guys are not soft so it's very rarely light teasing and if it is there's this undertone of "I am trying to irritate you so bad". Their usual teasing is typically pretty graphic and can hit nerves a lot (at least pre-filament station). They have no idea what healthy relationships are so they sort of just persist because they have to. Like they are not normal about each other or about anything but that is gonna happen when you grow up on Eden station.
SSB is completely non-verbal so I like to imagine they communicate through audio cues via the radio and writing little notes. However for fun I also imagine Ryland hooks them up with an AAC program/device which technically SSB can use without the use of its hands. SSB probably spams semi-relevant words when they get excited.
Although something that could be extra funny is what if they somehow had some vocaloid software. SSB just uses Hatsune Miku's voicebank to talk/sing lmao.
SSB is from one of many AUs I've made just from daydreaming. Basically, SSB is sort of inspired by Lain from Serial Experiements Lain (the AU is called Project Experiments Hail Mary in my obsidian for this reason). It's not exactly what Lain is though (Oh and it's pronouns are it/they! Normally my self inserts have more shi/hir pronouns but I started writing it with it/they and I like it), SSB is more like a naturally anomalous being who, while mostly human, is able to interact with the zero point field and is able to manipulate literal matter (solids, liquids, gasses) and non-literal matter (think things like memories and other concepts). This doesn't mean it's easy though and some things are harder than others.
The easiest is the interaction with the zero point field; basically there's a theory that there is no such thing as completely empty space. This was used in the Fazbear Frights story Fetch which is sort of how it works for SSB. Things like thoughts and feelings can enter the zero point field naturally (which is how Fetch knows it's user wants something without directly stating it). Most beings can't, it's something unknowable and isn't able to be picked up on any instrument currently in existence. Interacting means SSB can both sense things in the zero point field (mostly comes through as being able to sense emotions in others; thoughts are a lot harder to discern and it would take complete concentration to) and is able to influence it. This often comes out as whenever SSB becomes emotional, its emotions interfere with technology such as lights, screens and audio outputters like radios. Eventually SSB is given a portable radio in order for them to be able to express themself on smaller levels which helps avoid bottling things up. SSB often plays music through this to indicate its mood.
Interacting with matter can look a lot like telekinesis, at least on the smallest level. It's the easiest thing SSB can do and it can do it with relative ease depending on the distance between it and the object and the size of said object. This can be done with solids, liquids and gasses (I know plasmas are a thing but I don't know much so far). SSB is also able to alter matter, for example if it breaks something simple like, say, a basket made of woven straw, it can fuse the fibers back together as if nothing happened. Things like straw or fabric are easier to fix whereas things like metals are harder but possible. The hardest thing SSB can do is convert solids between each other. It cannot create matter but it may look like it if it turns oxygen (a gas) into another form of matter like water (a liquid) or metal (a solid). This takes concentration and energy can most times will cause SSB to pass out afterwards.
SSB is short for SSB-7835 or Special Sciences Becquerel 7835. Special Sciences is the overall program SSB and things like it are under and Becquerel is the specific subprogram it is under. 7835 is actually not a unique classification. The numbers mean awareness 7 (indicates dissociative qualities; neurotypical humans are defined as 9 and anything below human is defined as 5 and below), power 8 (how much power or potential power the subject has), internal control 3 (how much control the subject has over their power; they lose control when in dissociative and emotional states), external control 5 (how easy it is for external forces to control the subject).
Why send SSB on the Hail Mary? Just in case. I haven't ironed this part out but this is just for fun anyway. Basically, even if SSB was unique, if PHM fails, humanity will likely fall very very fast. SSB's qualities and abilities proved potentially useful for PHM. Basically "Well if all things go to shit, SSB will be there and can probably do something". A last ditch effort.
I just decided to make them animal crossing villagers. I couldn't come up with catchphrases for the life of me (at least for Ryland; SSB doesn't really speak verbally).
SSB's design was inspired by Mipsy from this artwork [link] by atapi and Mars from Laika's Comet [link] by fourleafisland
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I follow along with the Headcannon that Ryland is aroace so this self insert (SSB-7835) has more of a familial/platonic connection with him.
The arrow referring to the radio is because SSB can connect with nearby devices and play auditory or visual output depending on the device. They have other abilities too like interacting or observing what is described as the 'zero point field'. Overall, SSB can 'interact' with literal and non-literal matter. I'll have to make a whole post about SSB but yeah.
Grace: "No you're not Autistic, SSB"
Engie: "How many-how many toothpicks on the ground?"
Grace: "Don't play this game again."
SSB7835: (Ummm)
Engie: "Come on, how many toothpicks?"
SSB7835: (Uhhh)
Grace: "No, it just involves me cleaning up toothpicks."
SSB7835: "A hundred?"
Simon: "Ryland."
Engie: "No???"
Grace: "A hundred??"
Engie: "It's three."
Grace: "There's three!"
Engie: "Okay, okay how many now?"
Simon: "Ryland!"
SSB7835: (proudly) "Three!"
E&G: "No--"
Rocky: "SSB is the worst kind of autistic." /aff
Engie: "You can't even count"
Simon: "RYLAND"
Thinking about redesigning my Captain. The design is a couple years old and needs an update. I technically haven't updated it before, I just drew it again BUT here is what the design may look like if I redesigned it.
Also I was listening to Sonic music when I was drawing this so yeah.
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I've never actually written about the personality I envision my Captainsona having. So most of the time he's very well kept together and composed. He doesn't mean to have that sour expression he's not mad he's just calm.
On the outside during the whole warp hole adventure he's still kept together and trying his best to work things out + overtly in the leadership position.... when he's separated from Mark. That first half where he's with Mark he shows off his mischievous streak which he usually keeps down for the 'job'. Mark is the one who really brings it out in him so the adventure is kind of 'fun' at first. It's implied that the Captain and Mark have a history so I suppose I could roll with that. On the inside though, especially when he's separated from Mark, he's pretty anxious and struggling to really process everything. He doesn't understand how it should be his fault but he sort of just takes responsibility for it anyway which causes a lot of internal conflict inside him. He also doesn't really realise he's in love with Mark until the ending. I mean like looking at the new planet they're colonising ending. It takes him that long.
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