Autistically Consumes Tolkien Content

Felt the urge to edit some tumblr/twitter shitposts with LOTR characters (feat. one Bilbo in The Hobbit)

BUT, I was watching the extended scene where Aragorn looks into the Palantir and Sauron speaks to him in Black Speech and shows him pictures of a dead Arwen and smashes the Evenstar (Which is a whole other The-Books-Call-Bullshit shebang), and I came up with my own in-universe explanation.

Sauron: *Chilling in Mordor*

An Orc of some kind: My Lord Mairon (Because THAT is what they would call him), the spies have come back from Rivendell.

Sauron: Show me.

Magic Evil Spy: *Shows Sauron the image of a mortal man of the race of Numenor making out with an Elf lady who looks suspiciously familiar…*

Sauron: OH HELL NO!

Evil Spy: Indeed, Master. The Heir of Isildur lives.

Sauron: Get rid of her, now.

Evil Spy: Right away, Mast- her?

Sauron: Yes! Yes yes yes, I don’t care what it takes, get her out of here.

Evil Spy: My Lord, but surely, Isildur’s heir-?

Sauron: Do not harm that man, you hear me? Do not lay a finger on him until she is taken care of.

Evil Spy:

Evil Spy: Are you sure-?

Sauron: Was there a dog?

Spy: A dog, Master?

Sauron: Yes, yes, a dog, a big one.

Spy: Not that I could see, no.

Sauron: Oh well thank Eru for that, at least.

Spy: Are you feeling ill, Master?

Sauron: No, and I’d like to keep it that way. Arwen annihilation is priority number one, ok? And don’t you lay a finger on her man until I say so, got it?

Spy: Alright then…

Sauron, still looking at the image: HE’S GOT THE RING OF FELAGUND!!!

Spy:

I’m reading the Silmarillion for the first time. 

So here some random illustrations I had in mind. I think they are a bit static/flat but whatever, It’s was done quickly just for fun. Let share love with other fans.

Sauron in wolf form VS Luthien and Huan

And Feanor with the Silmarils

Thanks Davinarfel for touch ups (Feanor’s cloths for exemple) 

I’m reading Return of the King, and have just reached the chapter called “The Tower of Cirith Ungol,” in which Sam makes to rescue his master.

Something notable about this is that Sam has put on the Ring not once, but twice so far - and both times, his experience has been markedly different than Frodo’s.

Firstly, his vision is impaired. Everything he sees is somewhat obscured by a dark fog. It’s unclear whether this is an effect of the Ring entering Mordor, or if that’s just what it does to him specifically; after all, the Ring acts differently for each Wearer.

It’s the second effect that’s really interesting. You see, for some reason, the Ring improves his hearing. In both instances, he can hear orc-chatter from afar, as well as tumbling rocks and the foaming of Shelob. But what’s really wild about this is that the same never happens to Frodo.

Because the Ring reflects the Will and Strengths of the User, I can only assume this means one thing.

Elrond Peredhel, resident healer and eldritch crime against nature, self-explanatory

Glorfindel, slayer of balrogs, self-explanatory

Erestor, probably Feanorian, definitely dangerous

Old Feanorian diehards, all of whom are probably looking for an excuse to commit morally justified violence

Old Gondolindrim/Iathrim, who, despite what they might tell you, are exactly as dangerous as the Feanorians

Garthaglir the Library Orc, who absolutely remembers how to use the giant battleaxe he keeps behind his desk

A strange, shadowy figure roaming the valley who I'm *sure* isn't Maglor Feanorian, but who is nonetheless a terrifying singer

Elladan and Elrohir, who have spent the last several centuries becoming nightmare fuel for Sauron's forces

Arwen, eldritch, bites

Bilbo Baggins, not to be underestimated, can defeat a grown man with nothing more than his scathingly polite commentary

Dunedain visitors, vaguely feral, highly trained

Aragorn, very feral, highly trained

Lindir, not actually dangerous, but if you upset him you are going to have problems with everyone else on this list

I was looking at it and realised that today, after 10 years I’d have done it the other way round.

I haven’t been in the Tolkien fandom for literally all of these 10 years so I don’t know if it’s been done already but here’s my updated version.

It’s…much funnier to me now lmao