Arabella Strange

"Who else am I gonna tell" You are the only person who knows me for real, knows the Secret Thing that has defined the duplicity of my entire adult life, who else is there to tell this not-at-all-surprising-but-absolutely-earthshattering-revelation-of-my-acceptance-that-I-am-GAY except YOU

"Who else am I gonna tell" Who else do I even talk to? I am isolated and lonely and in at least this one major way unknown to everyone I love [... except you? I hope?]

"Who else am I gonna tell" I live in dread and bone-deep terror of somebody hearing this thing you yawned and laughed at because yeah, okay, you knew, I guess it was fucking obvious, but if the real world (my team, my league, the press, my professional universe, even my parents) knew this boring thing, I would lose every ounce of credibility and status and belonging I have bought through blood and sweat and tears to earn. I earned it and it would disappear in an instant if I told anyone this — anyone but you, the person who shared this secret with me from the beginning

"Who else am I gonna tell" Also nobody cares. Somehow I'm the last to know, Rose had to out me to myself — and yet finally, finally getting myself to admit this (to myself) has shifted the axis of my entire universe and allowed me to be here, confessing to you, the only person who has always known this and taken care of this truth without judgment or disgust or exclusion (things even I felt about this Secret Thing I am telling you), just care

"Who else am I gonna tell" Who else matters about this but you? I am late and I have hurt you and yeah it's kinda fucking absurd to pretend this is news but there is only one person who needed to know this. who it mattered to me to tell.

"Who else am I gonna tell" I trust you to continue to keep my secrets safe. There is nowhere safer than in your hands. I trust you to handle my most shameful, embarrassing, ruinous self hidden from a world that would weaponized it. We certainly can and do hurt each other, but that's not what I want — not anymore. I trust you, and I need you to know that because I want to build something here, and I've realized that I need to be vulnerable with you and accept that. I want to. And I want to take care of you in return. To trust that you can tell me things and I will also take them seriously, handle them with care, keep them safe. Just between you and me. Us against the world.

Wishbone was a PBS series about a terrier that assumed the role of literary characters like Frankenstein and Odysseus and dressed up.

— Les Misérables, Victor Hugo

“I weep for all,” said the bishop. “Equally!” exclaimed [old member of the Convention] G——; “and if the balance must incline, let it be on the side of the people. They have been suffering longer.”

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-